The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Me! Boy what an eye opener LOL. I've been battling some sort of non-identifiable illness for over 6 months now. It is the type of illness you do not want to discuss with anyone, can keep you from having a normal day and is humiliating and humbling. I've got medication making it so I can work but the idea is to find out what it is.
Had my first full on colonoscopy at the young age of 43. That's the worst thing I've ever done in my life, the prep is a living hell LOL. Expecially given the issues I have my body revolted at that stuff you drink. I was sick for literally 6 hours after each dose (one pm, one am before).
I was stressed, short, withdrawn, cranky and no fun to be with. I had help thank God. My kids did not quite get why mom was in such a mood. I came out of it with all my typical codependency traits in full tact LOL. I felt guilty for being out of sorts, I was upset with myself for not being more in charge of the house during it, and then I had "issues" at the outpatient surgery center and was apologizing to the nurses. LOL! I look back and realize that all it takes is one little change in venue and I'm all about coping with all the wrong skills.
I'm back on my feet today, will be a couple of days before I know what they found (something they weren't expecting, was what I was told, they took several biopsies) and for now I just have to try to learn from this.
I guess the positive is that I accepted help! I did find myself texting from the bathroom LOL and was told sternly "stop worrying everything is fine" but the fact that I did not insist on taking care of my kids by myself while I went through this is HUGE. I mean it, I would have tried even just 3 years ago for fear of anyone seeing me in that condition.
At least I have my humor intact. Without my humor, I'd be sunk!
I too have had intestinal problems at the ripe old age of 45 and had a colonoscopy a few months ago. I agree, it was yucky. I'm glad you accepted help, that always makes it easier and we definitely do need to learn to take help without feeling guilty. We are only human. Be kind to yourself. Keep the faith, I will pray for a positive outcome for you. Ts
Colonoscopy(s)...How fun!! Doctors...how not!! The phone call at 9:30 in the evening said "nothing to worry about and can you come in early in the morning"? Maybe there wasn't something to worry about before the phone call and now? If you found something and there wasn't anything to worry about....oh forget it and so I go in early in the morning and was told they read a polyp and didn't "think" it was malignant. I couldn't get my head around a thinking biopsy soooo what the hell get my game piece and went to play. "You're going to have the bestest of surgeons"!!...my program response to that was "I want to interview him". Should have taken a camera to record the facial reactions and I did get an interview appointment with this teaching surgeon who had done 10 thousands of these without a hitch. "Great!! so describe what a hitch is"? The doctor said "There are no nerves in your stomach which can detect a "burn thru" (wire that surrounds the polyp is fired by electricity and thats how it gets cut out) and if there is a burn thru you can bleed without knowing it and I've done 10 thousand without a burn thru". "Yay" I say, "When are we gonna do this thingy"? Friday afternoon, outpatient at the hospital. Won't even loose any work time and it's outpatient so off I go. Surgery went well and they found out where I lost my glasses during the drinking years. Saturday morning I use the loo and "Damn that's a whole lot of blood in there"!! "Okay lets use patience and not go to hell in a hand basket just yet". Sunday afternoon I repeat the loo visit and "Damn that's a whole lot of blood in there...I didn't know anyone could loose that much blood and still stay standing" I made the phone call to a Al-Anon friend after the call to emergency inpatient. I got two messages in emergency...1. Your doctor is out on a golfing trip and we have not been able to locate him and... 2. Sue enough there was a burn thru and we think it will close itself out cause your blood is pretty thick. It wasn't thick enough to stop leaking out and I didn't say that...just stayed in emergency until they released me to go back home to hopefully not bleed out!!
So I didn't bleed out cause I'm here however I got some notariety at my second visit to the "teaching surgeon". He was now telling his students that he had only one burn thru in 10 thousand surgerys and he was using my name. What The!!?? and no royalties?
The second colonoscopy was with the same surgeon and there was no burn thru... Yay!! I did however wake up during the process which was better than "JUST" painful and was asked if I could hang on thru it cause he didn't want to put me out again...they needed the operating room for a person waiting in the hallway. Of course I am an enabler...I can take huge amounts of pain for others and still choose to look good during and after. The second surgery gave me a living experience of what you ladies go thru during a delivery in the maternity ward. Damned that hurt...for days!! God bless you gals...by comparison I am a whuss.
LOL Jerry, that made my night! Nothing like stomach and butt problems to humble you and at the same time make you tell doctors "Fix it or else"!! Cause life having to sight the bathroom in public within 3.4 seconds of any public dwelling and not be more than 10 feet from it at all times is not LIVING. Ugh. They need to figure this out before immodium becomes my candy of choice :(
I so understand at 34 I have had GI tract issues for years already. Could be stress induced, you think, ha. Not fun and I am sending you (((hugs))), love and prayers! Jerry always knows how to bring it home, lol, no royalties! We can be a humorous bunch and this kind of stuff makes my day. Support and laughs all together is my best medicine. Sending you support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
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" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
