|
|
manipulative ex, children pawns?
(Preview)
Hi friends, I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for 2 years, separated from my now ex-husband for 2 years as well. Nutshell/back-story: I met my ex-husband 16 years ago at an AA dance. I was very young and only 6 months sober. He wasn't my type and I didn't feel any chemistry, but I was trying to "...
|
I-can-yeah
|
8
|
491
|
|
|
|
Prayers Please :)
(Preview)
I have court today and I am completely nervous in a good way I think, .. regardless of the outcome the kids and I really are going to be fine. I'm just so anxious to get in and get out and I have to wait ALL afternoon. Compound that with Mr Crazy Pants is soooo in town at the moment and I'm working on not engagi...
|
Pushka
|
8
|
375
|
|
|
|
How do you get a sponsor???
(Preview)
Ok so I found an Al-Anon group that I like I have attended four meetings there. I don't know how to ask someone to sponsor me. I really need a sponsor. I have grown and achieved about all I can on my own. Im stuck and starting to regress. I absolutly HATE!!!!! asking for help! I am a very proud and self suffici...
|
rellik
|
4
|
421
|
|
|
|
advice needed please!
(Preview)
ok so I got a call from my mom today. She was begging to come back to the house saying she has been living in her car. (its cold out so I worry about that) I really don't know what to do! I have mixed feelings about this.
|
z28lt1gurl
|
3
|
305
|
|
|
|
Need ESH
(Preview)
Ah my mom, I love her with every ounce of my being. She is getting old, she is getting forgetful and a little cranky. I am extremely forgiving. There is an issue that's been coming up a LOT lately. Short background - she and her mother never talked between the time she was 30 and the time her mom died (abo...
|
AStrongerMe
|
5
|
348
|
|
|
|
Holiday Struggles~Mixed with Triumph....
(Preview)
Hello Family... Hope all are Finding your way to Peace this Holiday Season! I Know for Me the Holidays are always tough but I think Thanksgiving/Christmas for me is Usually the Toughest of them all... Most Know I Lost my Afather on Thanksgiving a Couple years back, and With Christmas Being my Birthday...
|
Jozie
|
2
|
448
|
|
|
|
Scared
(Preview)
Its funny how you can go from one day being OK to the next SCARED. I missed a call from my son ( in detox ) and all of a sudden I'm scared to death of him or what he might say. Oh I didn't get a sponsor yet but will try tonight. I'm a big chicken lol Hugs Cathy
|
Cathyinaz
|
9
|
459
|
|
|
|
The drinking means more than me?
(Preview)
Hey folks. Just wanted to share my experience with this as I see so many folks struggling with their qualifiers and saying "He/She continues to choose the drinking over his/her family/marriage." This has been talked about many times on the board but some things are so baffling (like a...
|
pinkchip
|
8
|
596
|
|
|
|
I feel guilty- for getting a gift...
(Preview)
I had been commenting to my wife about how nice the Kindle Fire was... lo and behold, one shows up in its poorly hidden packaging yesterday- Im having a hard time with it because every year I want to do something nice for my girls in Michigan, two have birthdays this month along with Christmas, and we sent...
|
AlAnonDave
|
8
|
600
|
|
|
|
I think it's time for me to talk and I'm happy i've found this message board (here's my story)
(Preview)
Hi everyone I'm going to take this moment to get these thoughts out and relieve my painful heart. I have experienced alcoholism in my life. I lost my adopted father when I was 13 yrs old to cirrhosis of the liver he was only 42. Then my brother who was my dads natural child has been suffering from it for ye...
|
maria12
|
5
|
2577
|
|
|
|
Hello!
(Preview)
Hi guys! I'm stuck home with a sick kid, sick self, and a brand new puppy who has lots of energy! My AH is out of town for work and I asked him to come back(which I've never done in our entire marriage) and he told me that he doesn't want to get sick because he has to be out of town again next week. Gee, thanks,...
|
ilovedogs
|
5
|
285
|
|
|
|
take it slow & easy!
(Preview)
Today is a perfect day to take it slow & easy. I find the quicker I move the more behinder I get. I am just going to have to really slow down. I am finding that I even have to slow down on here when I type. So, I guess you all "get" it. I am not busy just anxious sometimes. I need a breather. I need to...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
0
|
340
|
|
|
|
Don't know what to do.
(Preview)
I'm brand new to the board. I don't have anyone to talk to. My husband is an alcoholic, but he is in denial. His way of thinking is that he doesn't drink every day, and he doesn't drink at home. Well, he drinks to get drunk. He can't just have a couple of beers. He drinks 12 or more. Recently, he was cha...
|
Annie1234
|
8
|
545
|
|
|
|
Lifes changes
(Preview)
Last night my AH called for the first time since I moved out of our home 3 weeks ago. While the conversation was very hard to have and there was more fighting than I wanted there to be, when the first thing he said to me was asking about the divorce papers rather than asking how I was doing, I knew that I had ma...
|
cinders
|
6
|
438
|
|
|
|
thank you
(Preview)
I just recently was blessed by finding this site. Although I am currently in a program, I feel all the extra understanding is huge in my ability to "live and let live". At this stage of my life I am unable to live one day at a time, so I'm living hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. I guess a...
|
one_moment
|
6
|
235
|
|
|
|
End of denial - my fiance is an alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi - I just found this board today and am looking for help for myself, not for my fiance. We've been together for two years and our wedding will be next August. I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he just "likes to drink" or he "needs to relax". But after anoth...
|
mtk746
|
7
|
810
|
|
|
|
Protecting money?
(Preview)
So I hope this is appropriate for this forum. I'm just looking for some ideas. My husband is an alcoholic/adict. He's unemployed and doed not have is own savings or income. When he relapses he will steal my money. I cannot keep credit or debit cards because he will use them. Cash of course is easy to steal...
|
sassycat
|
9
|
535
|
|
|
|
Should i get a therapist?
(Preview)
I'm an AA member, just started going to Al-Anon meetings because of lingering adult child issues I have yet to resolve and I do know AlAnon is for ACAs also. I'm debating getting a therapist to go over these issues because after all this time, I'm still not over a lot of it. The childhood issues can be so ov...
|
AlAnonDave
|
9
|
766
|
|
|
|
It's the exAH's birthday tomorrow and......
(Preview)
I feel like I should be baking him a cake or getting him a gift, it's what I did when I was seperated from him last year before the divorce was final. I know I won't and haven't, but what a true codependent I am. I have a program and I work it diligently, but for some reason his birthday coming is bringing me bac...
|
Breakingfree
|
4
|
310
|
|
|
|
Gettin toes stepped on
(Preview)
I've been seeking guidance from HP
Started reading getting them sober vol one
Getting my toes stepped on so I know I'm getting a message He wants me to get. Sadness and frustration seem to be getting better and I'm finding myself more productive again as a parent, spouse and person !
To my MIP family t...
|
sweeetr
|
5
|
353
|
|
|
|
Off the topic...but please read...it's fun.
(Preview)
Today, December 4th, my little poodle is running against a kitty cat to win the day's Cat vs Dog competition. Please go to WCIU.com, click on the contests and give Looi your vote. Thanks. I am busy getting ready to have family for Christmas, and I am so excited. Trying to get everything done so the hou...
|
Diva
|
4
|
233
|
|
|
|
Resolutions... plans and dreams...
(Preview)
Oh vey! We had our pre-Christmas domestic melt-down this week. Had our alanon meeting tonight and thankfully the home front was back in shape by then. Glad that the programme works for me day by day. Our group has a steady membership of five, with visitors sometimes. Our group was in recess fpr abo...
|
DavidG
|
3
|
559
|
|
|
|
One Day at A Time Dec 4
(Preview)
I loved this, when I first came to Al-Anon I kept wanting to know why, and this reading is so very true! Pg 339 "Some of us come to Al-Anon to find out why the alcoholic drinks. We're afraid it's because "he doesn't love me anymore" or because something we have doneor are doing is upsettin...
|
Jackie11
|
1
|
400
|
|
|
|
Time to talk the Truth about Relationship
(Preview)
I have been a reader of all the message board and decided it is time to share ESH and stop just being a receiver of all this support. I just went through a breakup with my A BF after a 3 year relationship. My story is my husband died 14 years ago and this was my 1st relationship after his death. He is the father...
|
Jackie Z
|
4
|
425
|
|
|
|
Profound thought just popped into my head while half asleep this morning......
(Preview)
The alcoholic is addicted to and obsessed with one more drink. I am addicted to and obsessed with one less drink.
This is why I need Al-Anon.
Geo
|
Geo
|
7
|
310
|
|
|
|
VENTING with Graditude!
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t51579198/needing-support/
|
John
|
7
|
421
|
|
|
|
Some good news today.
(Preview)
So a little while ago I recieved a text message from mom saying she was sorry and she is ok and wondering if she can come get her phone charger and medication in the morning. She also said she is going to AA mettings in the afternoons. I hope this is true because she needs help. At least for today I know she is o...
|
z28lt1gurl
|
2
|
249
|
|
|
|
I know you all care!
(Preview)
I know you all care cause I can feel your prescence when I write anything on here. I feel supported & loved. I am just wondering just how much you can all relate to my posts. I am trying so hard to fit in these days because I am feeling crazy! I still & will always have bipolar disorder. I hope somehow...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
4
|
314
|
|
|
|
Going to a AA meeting
(Preview)
Good Morning I was told once I should attend a open AA meeting. There is one tonight down the street. Think I should go and listen? It's so heartbreaking to see someone with a addiction so maybe it would be good for me to see some in recovery....I don't know In need right now Cathy
|
Cathyinaz
|
6
|
345
|
|
|
|
What's happening to me?
(Preview)
Hey guys, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of months I have found myself losing a lot of interest in the usual social activities I used to partake in and the people who would participate.Seeing them and meeting up with them now seems like a chore because it i...
|
slogan_jim
|
7
|
547
|
|
|
|
I think my fiancee has a problem, not sure what to do.
(Preview)
I'm not even sure how to begin a post like this, because it's something I never thought I would have to do. I've been with my fiancee, Greg, for 4 years now. We have been engaged for just under four months. Greg grew up in a very dysfunctional household and his parents were rarely around, leaving him ab...
|
Katey_S
|
8
|
367
|
|
|
|
Dont know if im being resentful...or just sticking to my boundries??
(Preview)
ok guys need some help. my abf who doesnt live with me and my son as some of you may have read previously had to leave due to violence due to increasing blackout drinking. Boundries set, dont come to the house under the influence. We have had a few hicups but stuck to my ground. Anyways on friday night h...
|
Zimmy
|
6
|
543
|
|
|
|
Two days later and still lost...now literally.
(Preview)
Well my husband and I were all set to talk to my mom yesterday. However through the couse of the day I realized she had taken all her stuff and wasn't planning on comming back. However, she had no where else to go. My brother drove by her mothers house to see if she went there. (My grandmother has demtia and i...
|
z28lt1gurl
|
2
|
347
|
|
|
|
Daughter lost her job-then called at 2:45 a.m.
(Preview)
Hello all, I'm writing if nothing else to share. My daughter lost her job yesterday. A very good job that enabled her at 22 to buy her own home and a new car. She's been very out of control since the summer with things escalating to today. In July she stole a friend of hers mother's car to drive two hours...
|
Afraidparent
|
7
|
538
|
|
|
|
Need Advice
(Preview)
Hello. So my mother has been an alcoholic (high functioning) for as long as I can remember. My sisters and I were raised to enable her and keep her secret. When approached, she would become defensive and deny any wrong doing. Every couple of years my father would have an "intervention"...
|
HDOT
|
4
|
279
|
|
|
|
I'm SO grateful to have found Al-Anon!
(Preview)
On the advice of my therapist I started going to al-anon. I never tried going before because I mistakenly assumed it was only for people whose parents are, or were, alcoholics. She explained to me that in fact it is for anyone who grew up in a very dysfucntional environment and who needs to learn the skil...
|
Shunned
|
5
|
505
|
|
|
|
Zimmy you got me thinking!!
(Preview)
Monday is court and all this came about because of a different court date that is coming in 2 weeks. He is being such a jerk it's not funny. The last text I have responded to is actually about a week ago. He had the last two statements in it and I am way way way ok .. the harrassment is mind blowing. It facin...
|
Pushka
|
4
|
338
|
|
|
|
Been a while!
(Preview)
I haven't been on here in quite some time. I could make a ton of excuses, but I'm not. Just laziness I guess! lol Last time I posted something, I was in a very depressed state. I had been seperated from AH for just 2 weeks. I left our house in Aug., because I found out that he started drinking again after being...
|
lnc12
|
4
|
230
|
|
|
|
New to the boards and freaking out a little
(Preview)
So tonight I realized just how much my mother drinks. Here is the story. She has been an alcoholic for years. She almost died three years ago from it and quit drinking and was very healthy. The begining of this year I was diagnosed with cancer and that is when her spiral began. My brother and I began notici...
|
z28lt1gurl
|
8
|
389
|
|
|
|
I need to get away..
(Preview)
I'm at my wits end with my mother lately. I'm a 23 year old guy and I recently moved home due to some financial issues and losing my job. When I was living on my own with my friends in an apartment, my mother was sober for a WHOLE YEAR. I thought her issues with alcoholism were over. Little did I know.. I moved b...
|
RSanders
|
4
|
385
|
|
|
|
Breakdown last night
(Preview)
So I had a major breakdown last night. The last two weeks have not been great for several reasons, not all the alcoholism. Last night the wife cracks open bottle one and we watch some TV. I was majorly stressed and the fact that she was there drinking didn't help. Well, I suggest we get in our hot tub (t...
|
hdftby100
|
7
|
483
|
|
|
|
Reality hitting close to home
(Preview)
Found in my email this am a copy of the preliminary divorce documents from AH. Thought I had been doing ok till that showed up. I know I reacted badly, sent back the email to him with a few words chosen too quickly. I am not going to beat myself up over what I had to say about it. My heart is broken and I was s...
|
cinders
|
4
|
416
|
|
|
|
How do I Accept an Offer of Help From an Alcoholic Parent?
(Preview)
Hello, I just joined these forums a moment ago and hoped to share my current scenario to seek insight from others who understand: I am a "young adult" who lived with an alcoholic father until my parents separation thirteen years ago. Since then, my father has struggled to stay sober. I...
|
elizabeth_t
|
11
|
448
|
|
|
|
Wife of a recovering alcoholic.. need advice
(Preview)
Hi there, I am new to this board. My husband has 170 days of sobriety. He went to a rehab facility, and has been doing great, attending meetings daily, even speaking at local rehabilitation facilities. I am 100% supportive, and proud of him. However, I have found that recently my resentments are sett...
|
Danilani
|
6
|
1193
|
|
|
|
4 TH STEP
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51768610/4-th-step-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 2nd of December 2012 07:16:39 PM
|
hotrod
|
0
|
225
|
|
|
|
the better I get the worse he gets ??
(Preview)
I have read lots of books and have gotten good at detaching and living my life regardless of his choices. It seems he has taken this change in me as a chance to get worse ..(give an inch take a mile) It stinks that I am married and go to all (even his side) of family functions, kids events, and holidays alone....
|
sweeetr
|
3
|
509
|
|
|
|
Trying to let go of the stress!!
(Preview)
I think I'm working my program, but why do I feel so stressed when setting boundries and staying firm with them. I hate to have to have any contact with my A's. always some drama or dysfuction goin on. Every time I show them any kindness, they come on full force, and I have to detach physically, emotion...
|
Highlyfavored
|
2
|
270
|
|
|
|
Hard time with me
(Preview)
I have been having a hard time with myself. AH is doing what he does. But I can't seem to be happy anymore. I'm reading and turning to HP but the feeling of depression and sadness keep coming over me. I'm laying in bed while he sleeps next to me and I couldn't feel more alone if I were stranded in the desert.
I...
|
sweeetr
|
2
|
314
|
|
|
|
I don't know if I wanna laugh, or cry!
(Preview)
I don't know if I wanna laugh or cry? I am still waiting to get more results & one more blood test. It kills me to go thru all this w/o a final result! I want to laugh, makes sense to me. What can I do but put up w/ some of this nonsense & just shake it off. I am so saddened by this time of year & occasion...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
0
|
419
|
|
|
|
numbness feels awful
(Preview)
I don't know how to protect myself anymore except for shutting down towards my A spouse. I think about separating all the time but won't be able to do it until finances change in a year or two. I don't hate her~in fact I feel very sorry for her. She is workin
working on her latest lie and I have already caug...
|
Lyne
|
7
|
460
|
|
|
|
Need advice: A book for him?
(Preview)
Hi all, It's been awhile since I was last here, but I've popped in here and there when things are at their worst, just to feel like there was some sense of hope out there for me - for people like us in our situation. I've started to go back to face-to-face meetings - have found one that I really like that I'll g...
|
ladysoblue
|
7
|
421
|
|
|
|
There Is Always Hope
(Preview)
Hi to All, I come to this board infrequently these days. I'm happily living with my recovering AH. I realize that he might tumble off the wagon any time, any day, however. So my happiness is not a result of his sobriety, but of my realization of many truths. I practice a lot of what I learned from th...
|
GailMichelle
|
5
|
407
|
|
|
|
Now the work starts
(Preview)
Hi everyone Today is the real start of my recovery in regards to my son. He is now completely out of money and no way to pay rent. He called sober and asked about disability and if I could help him apply. I don't know what he's thinking but I just said I know nothing about it and he would have to do the work h...
|
Cathyinaz
|
7
|
474
|
|
|
|
broken boundaries
(Preview)
... found more bottles and smoke stuff.... he apparently tried to "come clean" with the truth (after confronted) and said hes goin down wrong path and is stoppin so plz be patient, he's been using excuses to leave the house and drinks enough to black out is why the things I found were here.....
|
sweeetr
|
7
|
336
|
|
|
|
How do you deal with the loneliness when your husband will not get help and you refuse to let him come home without it?
(Preview)
My husband and me have been seperated for eight months and he promises to get help everytime we talk but still has not even started to get help. I have three children 16, 17, and 20 and a 15 month old granddaughter who is my heaven. He says he misses us so much and wants to come home but I will not and can not all...
|
redandblack
|
7
|
420
|
|
|
|
RLC - one year ago....
(Preview)
Hi gang... if my records are correct, Friday marks the one year anniversary of the sudden passing of RLC (Rodney), one of our most cherished members on MIP.... Thought it might be a nice idea to open a thread to share some thoughts or memories of your dealings with Rodney, to help us all keep his spirit...
|
canadianguy
|
12
|
496
|
|
|
|
how do i find the chat for 9pm tonight for the meeting, i've been trying to find it to wait there for people
(Preview)
hi im new and cannot find my way around this site to talk to people
|
et1
|
1
|
257
|
|
|
|
Husband back home from rehab
(Preview)
Hello, I am a mother of 3 and married for 10 years. I can say the last 2 years of our lives have been devasting to say the least. My husband's drinking became unbearable. We seperated for 8 months then he decided to go to rehab. After much consideration we decided to have him back home once his 30 days was don...
|
Catm005
|
4
|
447
|
|
|
|
Moving On From A Long, Toxic Marriage
(Preview)
Hello all, I spoke with my AH yesterday. I intended to tell him it was over (again) and that I would be filing for divorce. He is in another state working right now. Somehow, he dragged me into an argument about how I was at fault, too, and that I was the reason he drank/drinks. I chose to engage mostly becau...
|
TryingToChange
|
3
|
527
|
|
|
|
He doesnt agree... but I know otherwise
(Preview)
My husband and I have been together for 5 years, but have only been married for one. Now, I know when I let this all out some of you may bash me for some of the things I'm going to say, but please don't, it's not going to help any. My husband is 44 years old, and I'm 23. We have 2 children together and one on the wa...
|
becca223
|
8
|
391
|
|