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Getting anger and pity party calls
(Preview)
Is it OK not to take calls anymore. My son is enaging me a lot and now we got into a arguement about his car. He wants me to take it and I said NO...now he's mad that I'm so heartless on taking the gift. I think its alcohol time. He's thinks he moving to another country....WHAT??? Is it OK to be done with you...
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Cathyinaz
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14
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894
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scared with letting go of the things that makes you sad
(Preview)
I am moving towards this: but I have to say it's scary, because I used to believe in the good things I believed in true happiness, I also believed that it would be enough to love somebody with a true heart ... but in this disease I discovered also that no matter how much effort, love or hope I have in a day, it...
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tortuga
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11
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590
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Living with a dry drunk
(Preview)
My AH has stopped drinking 4 months but its starting to get hard. Its as if he were drinking or worse. He blames me for everything. I walk on egg shells all the time you neve know what is going to set him off. last night every thing was fine. till he tried to get the dog in the house. and the dog wanted to stay out...
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peacewithin
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8
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2972
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Having a hard time.
(Preview)
My parents moved in with us 3 months ago. They are active A's and drink every night. Things have started to get tense because of the drinking. I'm afraid of confronting them about anything. Afraid to say no, just like when I was a child. I don't want to cause issues because I don't want to see them homeless...
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StargazerLily
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3
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441
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When do you call the police?
(Preview)
My husband, who doesn't live with me and his daughters anymore, is on probation for 2 DWI's. He has repeatedly shown up drunk and i know he has even gone to work drunk. If I call the police on him (which I threatened to do last night because he got wasted while being responsible for our kids), what will happ...
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sookie
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5
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657
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Newbie
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I'm completely new to this and just wanted to try and let go of some of my recent issues, so here goes...I have been brought up in an alcoholic home, my dad is now a dry drunk and my mum is an adult child in recovery. I'm 28 and although there haven't been any specific problems for a long time I ha...
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Brandi28
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4
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439
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tonight im ready to quit !
(Preview)
im not sure if Im learning to cope or letting things get so out of hand I quit... I keep putting off seeing an attorney .. for money reasons and medical (some medical tests have come back bad on me) I will lose ins when divorce is final... But whats better die from cancer with sanity or live with total insani...
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sweeetr
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5
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493
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Too late?
(Preview)
Changes and things that I have wanted to see are starting to happen and I have conflicting feelings about them. I definitely need some feedback. My AH of 26 years that I have been separated from since August has finally started seeing a psychiatrist, regularly attending AA meetings and even got a s...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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4
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752
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MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETINGS DEC 10 & 17
(Preview)
MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETINGS DEC 10 & 17 I am unable to chair the Monday morning Al-Anon meetings for December 10 & December 17. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair those meetings on my behalf. Thanks Shimo (aka Jeri)
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shimo
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1
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369
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My exAH is so sick and just sunk further......
(Preview)
He was coming into town tomorrow afternoon to do Christmas shopping and was going to stay at a local hotel and take the girls swimming. We talked on the phone and I even invited him over for lunch with us after we went to church, he said yes. Later conversation he said he wanted to hang out with me when I got d...
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Breakingfree
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6
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486
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Left Overs :/
(Preview)
Well, this is a laugh at myself moment .. LOL .. it speaks volumes about how badly I allowed another person to treat me and now this is the norm for them. This is my part, now I'm asking for a change in this and it's been interesting to say the least. As I have already shared I am having zero contact if it is no...
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Pushka
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9
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477
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Trying to move forward
(Preview)
Just needed to be here today. I have been still working my program with face to face meetings (2/week) but I feel I will need more support over the next months. I am going to end my marriage to the AH, who has now been struggling with his recovery in his own apartment for 18 months. Nothing is moving forward...
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sookie
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8
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512
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Update on tonight I'm ready to quit .. Next morning
(Preview)
So I had to leave last night. I was on computer and his "chat sex live girl" popped on screen.And said welcome back guest360 ... pulled histrory and he had been talkinh and whatever sith her for at least A week He has never been one to cheat. I did the wrong thing. I went to bedroom Nd asked him abo...
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sweeetr
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4
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529
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Meeting recommendations for NYC help
(Preview)
Newcomer to the forum. First time back "home" to NYC where I lived for 7 years before moving out West and my life falling apart last Feb, started the program on Labor Day. Leading up to the trip I'm pretty much in the vigilance of the child of a diseased mother, afraid that when I leave here for m...
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255
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4
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10465
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NEED A LAUGH!
(Preview)
I need a good laugh! does anyone have a clean joke or anything to get us laughing at these somewhat difficult times for some and a joy for others? I am not just thinking of myself but all of you who need a laugh! Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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8
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347
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Feeling so "done" with the E.R. .An angry, grim post.
(Preview)
Well, it's my qualifier's birthday and my mom took her to the E.R. again. Here's a question: how many times have you taken your alcoholic to the E.R.? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Forty? Fifty? Sixty? I have lost track. When she drinks, she drinks suicidally. Then at some point a few days later, once she ha...
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Sister34
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8
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542
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I just cried watching 'The Simpsons'. (program at work)
(Preview)
Hey Everyone, There was a time before al-anon that in order to cope with life and all of the alcoholic's problems I had taught myself to not feel anything. I was walking around numb inside because I was tired of feeling hurt. Over my time in Al-Anon, I have learned that it's ok and even necessary to feel. T...
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slogan_jim
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6
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547
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It's so sad to hear him so lost
(Preview)
My son called and was talking off the wall. He was sober but his mind is lost and not thinking right. It's so sad to listen to him. He wants me to take his things.... No he wants me to take his things so I will help him. It's not going to happen. He is so lost and confused now and I pray he will come to grips wi...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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617
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family roles
(Preview)
Hi All, just been away on a family programme for families of drinkers and drugs users, WOW Had the privealage to learn so much and do lots of group therapy amazin. One of the work shops was on family roles. e.g caretaker, scape goat, lost child, hero there were many more. I was the caretaker I would neg...
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Tracy
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5
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860
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How worried should I be?
(Preview)
This is the first time that I have visited or posted on a forum. In brief, my husband was a functioning alcoholic when we got together some 13 years ago and has had stints at AA which were initially very positive for us both. He started to have an issue about confidentiality and stopped going. He used to wa...
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captain sensible
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6
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627
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Crying and not in control
(Preview)
Strong Cathy has just broken down and crying for having to say NO to my son. I did it but I am now freaking out and can't get it under control. He called about he is ******* if he is gets back to his place ( was in detox ) and is kicked out. I said nothing...just I'm sorry. All he's doing is complaining and...
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Cathyinaz
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15
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581
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Boundaries are in place
(Preview)
I finally set the boundaries with mother & father. Very painful and difficult and guilt-provoking to take care of ourselves sometimes. Things simply had to get to a place for me where (without anger) I just could not envision myself at Christmas this year with them or my brother. I just got tired o...
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WorkingThroughIt
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8
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535
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my moms bday dinner and AH shows up arrogantly drinking/drunk
(Preview)
So my moms 72 bday. My daughter and her fiance my 7 yr old all meeting at small restaurant to eat. My AH showed up early. I get a phone call he has ordered appitizers for everyone (It was a nice idea but he doesnt even know what anyone wants .. one of his drinking signature moves.. ordering for ppl and then if i...
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sweeetr
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6
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492
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Surprise Surprise....
(Preview)
abf was coming round with a curry and spend the night, he comes in and wanted me to watch a funny video on facebook, me, our son and him watched the video a couple of times (yeah it did make me chuckle) he kept saying you gotta watch it, you gotta watch it. I say to that "no i dont" and boom the atpmo...
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Zimmy
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5
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555
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Anniversary
(Preview)
Don't really have anyone to tell but I kind of had a anniversary on November 29th. I QUIT SMOKING 2 YEARS AND GOING STRONG Kind of proud of myself
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Cathyinaz
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5
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291
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are there "parents of alcoholics" alanon meetings?
(Preview)
hi all, does anyone know if they have alanon meetings specific to parents of alcoholics? or any good alanon approved literature on the subject? thanks, debbie
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debhud
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4
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3476
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Police just called, now what?
(Preview)
police just called and woke us up...my niece called them...she said a serial killer was after her...her mother gave the police our number( really? Why?). I told them she was an alcoholic, they thought she was mentally ill. How could her mother not have told them? They took her to jail to sober up...I pr...
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Sarah325
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7
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529
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ring around the rosie
(Preview)
So here I am on Friday night. I have spent the day discussing with my spouse, why we are not close, why we are not romantic, and why we just can't be happy. I told her she is in denial about her multiple addictions: drinking, gambling, eating, and lying. She only recognizes eating as one of her problems. I t...
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Lyne
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2
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486
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Frustrated. Rough night with my kiddo.
(Preview)
I divorced my alcoholic ex-husband after 16 years, 3 rehabs and 1 suicide attempt. I had to let go and choose healthy. That said, we share a 12 year old child. A great girl. Smart, funny, compassionate and truly well behaved. My ex really wasn't there for her during our marriage and at the heart of i...
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abbyalana
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6
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484
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Don't know what to expect
(Preview)
I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was an alcoholic before we got together. Throughout the years he began to be an unmanageable alcoholic. Meaning he no longer worked a real job. Only helped out family/farmers for money. Would sleep until 2-3pm everyday and stay up late. our youngest is 4 mo...
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Juliann
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6
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475
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Son in Hospital
(Preview)
Got a call from my son telling me is done and put himself into the hospital again. He has done this many times so we will see if he means it this time. He thought he could be put in a 30 day program but they told him no and will be sending him to detox only. He was shocked but I guess after many times going to th...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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593
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Not sure where to start or what to do
(Preview)
This is the first time I have visited this board and I am not sure where to start. I am married to a wonderful man, when we were married 4 years ago, of course I knew he had 2 adult daughters (at the time they were 19 and 21) The youngest lived with us, and she was in college, not a big deal I also have 3 children an...
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slverdream
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6
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629
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From I need help to Getting help
(Preview)
Hi again Well it's been two weeks now that I have not talked to my son and I'm letting go and letting God do the work. It's been the hardest thing I ever had to do. I feel so guilty I'm abandoning him still but attending Al-anon meetings and see my counselor now. I'm lost, heartbroken and sad knowing he...
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Cathyinaz
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4
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497
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The self-loathing new husband
(Preview)
Hi. First post, first realization of a problem in my marriage, first marriage, first experience with a possible alcoholic. I'm 28 years old and have been married for just a little over a year. My husband and I met and moved in quickly together, but we dated 4 years before we got engaged. I apparently...
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msblonde56
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8
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5664
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New Awareness and a major Do'h moment ..
(Preview)
Sooo .. I have been thinking about this for the past few days and something I am going to give myself as a gift is getting through steps 4 and 5 before the next court date which actually is NOT the 17th .. I just found out yesterday that it's Jan 8th .. LOL .. I recently said this is like a canker sore that won't g...
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Pushka
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8
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547
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Small or big victory... or both
(Preview)
Just wanted to share my experience last night. I had to work an extra shift at work (scheduled). While working, I thought to myself that the wife was probably at home drinking wine since I was not there. End to this story is this: When I got home she was in bed. I walked in the kitchen to get something to...
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hdftby100
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8
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462
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VERY grateful for my program right now
(Preview)
My AH was in a fight tonight. He bowls on Wednesday nights, and usually gets home around 1:00. When I woke up at 2:15, he still wasn't here. He rolled in around 2:30, and told me all about the fight he was in with some guy from work (not a guy he actually works with...just a guy who works in a different area...
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stephaniej
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4
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567
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New to online Al-Anon
(Preview)
I have just discovered this fabulous site. I have been a grateful Al-Anon member for around 8 months and although I have a lot to learn I have already learned so much. I know I am on a journey although I have recently resorted to my default mode which is being controlling and obsessive. I have hope though...
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el-cee
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3
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346
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My program at work...you betch ya
(Preview)
Got that call from my son and I just let him talk about what he has started, done and will be doing. All good. I can only pray he will follow through. What I did.....which was very small for some but BIG BIG BIG for me. I had told him I would not be taking or picking him up from the hospitals or detox center a...
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Cathyinaz
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4
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396
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Labelling oneself/expectations (share)
(Preview)
Hi everyone, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic home, you see and experience things a certain way. A different way that doesnt promote a lot of hope, happiness or that wonderful things will ever or are meant to happen to you...
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slogan_jim
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1
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421
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manipulative ex, children pawns?
(Preview)
Hi friends, I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for 2 years, separated from my now ex-husband for 2 years as well. Nutshell/back-story: I met my ex-husband 16 years ago at an AA dance. I was very young and only 6 months sober. He wasn't my type and I didn't feel any chemistry, but I was trying to "...
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I-can-yeah
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8
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563
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Prayers Please :)
(Preview)
I have court today and I am completely nervous in a good way I think, .. regardless of the outcome the kids and I really are going to be fine. I'm just so anxious to get in and get out and I have to wait ALL afternoon. Compound that with Mr Crazy Pants is soooo in town at the moment and I'm working on not engagi...
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Pushka
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8
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442
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How do you get a sponsor???
(Preview)
Ok so I found an Al-Anon group that I like I have attended four meetings there. I don't know how to ask someone to sponsor me. I really need a sponsor. I have grown and achieved about all I can on my own. Im stuck and starting to regress. I absolutly HATE!!!!! asking for help! I am a very proud and self suffici...
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rellik
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4
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514
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advice needed please!
(Preview)
ok so I got a call from my mom today. She was begging to come back to the house saying she has been living in her car. (its cold out so I worry about that) I really don't know what to do! I have mixed feelings about this.
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z28lt1gurl
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3
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370
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Need ESH
(Preview)
Ah my mom, I love her with every ounce of my being. She is getting old, she is getting forgetful and a little cranky. I am extremely forgiving. There is an issue that's been coming up a LOT lately. Short background - she and her mother never talked between the time she was 30 and the time her mom died (abo...
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AStrongerMe
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5
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413
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Holiday Struggles~Mixed with Triumph....
(Preview)
Hello Family... Hope all are Finding your way to Peace this Holiday Season! I Know for Me the Holidays are always tough but I think Thanksgiving/Christmas for me is Usually the Toughest of them all... Most Know I Lost my Afather on Thanksgiving a Couple years back, and With Christmas Being my Birthday...
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Jozie
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2
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535
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Scared
(Preview)
Its funny how you can go from one day being OK to the next SCARED. I missed a call from my son ( in detox ) and all of a sudden I'm scared to death of him or what he might say. Oh I didn't get a sponsor yet but will try tonight. I'm a big chicken lol Hugs Cathy
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Cathyinaz
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9
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524
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The drinking means more than me?
(Preview)
Hey folks. Just wanted to share my experience with this as I see so many folks struggling with their qualifiers and saying "He/She continues to choose the drinking over his/her family/marriage." This has been talked about many times on the board but some things are so baffling (like a...
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pinkchip
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8
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667
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I feel guilty- for getting a gift...
(Preview)
I had been commenting to my wife about how nice the Kindle Fire was... lo and behold, one shows up in its poorly hidden packaging yesterday- Im having a hard time with it because every year I want to do something nice for my girls in Michigan, two have birthdays this month along with Christmas, and we sent...
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AlAnonDave
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8
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666
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I think it's time for me to talk and I'm happy i've found this message board (here's my story)
(Preview)
Hi everyone I'm going to take this moment to get these thoughts out and relieve my painful heart. I have experienced alcoholism in my life. I lost my adopted father when I was 13 yrs old to cirrhosis of the liver he was only 42. Then my brother who was my dads natural child has been suffering from it for ye...
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maria12
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5
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2639
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Hello!
(Preview)
Hi guys! I'm stuck home with a sick kid, sick self, and a brand new puppy who has lots of energy! My AH is out of town for work and I asked him to come back(which I've never done in our entire marriage) and he told me that he doesn't want to get sick because he has to be out of town again next week. Gee, thanks,...
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ilovedogs
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5
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356
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take it slow & easy!
(Preview)
Today is a perfect day to take it slow & easy. I find the quicker I move the more behinder I get. I am just going to have to really slow down. I am finding that I even have to slow down on here when I type. So, I guess you all "get" it. I am not busy just anxious sometimes. I need a breather. I need to...
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Hoot Nanny
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0
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407
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Don't know what to do.
(Preview)
I'm brand new to the board. I don't have anyone to talk to. My husband is an alcoholic, but he is in denial. His way of thinking is that he doesn't drink every day, and he doesn't drink at home. Well, he drinks to get drunk. He can't just have a couple of beers. He drinks 12 or more. Recently, he was cha...
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Annie1234
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8
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617
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Lifes changes
(Preview)
Last night my AH called for the first time since I moved out of our home 3 weeks ago. While the conversation was very hard to have and there was more fighting than I wanted there to be, when the first thing he said to me was asking about the divorce papers rather than asking how I was doing, I knew that I had ma...
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cinders
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6
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510
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thank you
(Preview)
I just recently was blessed by finding this site. Although I am currently in a program, I feel all the extra understanding is huge in my ability to "live and let live". At this stage of my life I am unable to live one day at a time, so I'm living hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. I guess a...
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one_moment
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6
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301
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End of denial - my fiance is an alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi - I just found this board today and am looking for help for myself, not for my fiance. We've been together for two years and our wedding will be next August. I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he just "likes to drink" or he "needs to relax". But after anoth...
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mtk746
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7
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875
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Protecting money?
(Preview)
So I hope this is appropriate for this forum. I'm just looking for some ideas. My husband is an alcoholic/adict. He's unemployed and doed not have is own savings or income. When he relapses he will steal my money. I cannot keep credit or debit cards because he will use them. Cash of course is easy to steal...
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sassycat
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9
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603
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Should i get a therapist?
(Preview)
I'm an AA member, just started going to Al-Anon meetings because of lingering adult child issues I have yet to resolve and I do know AlAnon is for ACAs also. I'm debating getting a therapist to go over these issues because after all this time, I'm still not over a lot of it. The childhood issues can be so ov...
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AlAnonDave
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9
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865
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It's the exAH's birthday tomorrow and......
(Preview)
I feel like I should be baking him a cake or getting him a gift, it's what I did when I was seperated from him last year before the divorce was final. I know I won't and haven't, but what a true codependent I am. I have a program and I work it diligently, but for some reason his birthday coming is bringing me bac...
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Breakingfree
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4
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377
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Gettin toes stepped on
(Preview)
I've been seeking guidance from HP
Started reading getting them sober vol one
Getting my toes stepped on so I know I'm getting a message He wants me to get. Sadness and frustration seem to be getting better and I'm finding myself more productive again as a parent, spouse and person !
To my MIP family t...
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sweeetr
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5
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420
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