The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I come to this board infrequently these days. I'm happily living with my recovering AH. I realize that he might tumble off the wagon any time, any day, however. So my happiness is not a result of his sobriety, but of my realization of many truths.
I practice a lot of what I learned from those on this board & what I learned by attending face 2 face meetings. I currently do not attend such meetings.
However, I would like to tell everyone going through the hell of living with an active alcoholic that it can get better, regardless if the alcoholic continues to drink or not. Your happiness does not depend on their sobriety. That is difficult for you to understand right now; but if you continue to read Al Anon or other related materials, seek out people who have been in your shoes and most importantly, realize that you are worth it, then you will come to understand what I say.
I am grateful for this board and especially grateful for many of its members; I reached out in a time of need and was wisely guided. Thank you! You know who you are :)
Wishing you all not only happy holidays, but wishing you happy days every day!
Gail
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Gail, I'm so happy to hear this perspective once in awhile - that things can work out... I'm glad for you and your partner. It must have been a lot of work for the two of you to get there.
Gail, Really glad you posted an update. Knowing a bit more of the story, what I really respect is knowing specifically how you did use alanon tools when you were in the thick of it. You actually did practice a lot of detachment, gave him space to recover, were prepared to even walk away if things didn't change, kept your choices open, and then reassessed and made the choice to stay together after more information was revealed regarding his disease and how it might affect you.
You did work an alanon program pretty fully and I believe that's part of the reason for the positive outcome (though much is just due to your HP and your husband's I guess). You worked a strong alanon program and he worked AA. You did this seperately and both got good results. It says a lot about recovery.
I love your title, there is hope for us in al-anon, thank you Higher power! Praise for the newfound peace in your life ((Gail))
I happen to NOT be with my alcoholic husband today but I learned the outcome of things did not matter. I found hope despite the fact he kept doing what he was doing, nothing outside of me had to change. pinkchip's post points it out so well, all we have to do is pick up the spiritual kit that is laid at our feet and work it, and you obviously did, Gail. Step twelve is a great suggestion for me because service work allows me to keep growing, I get to keep what I am able to give away, my recovery gets stronger when I help. in my local community, there are despairing souls showing up week after week, just as I did years ago. and I get to pass along what was so freely given to me. the need for Light and hope is so great in this world.
As ever, the light in me honors the light in you, my friend. Have a beautiful holiday!
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
