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I had been commenting to my wife about how nice the Kindle Fire was... lo and behold, one shows up in its poorly hidden packaging yesterday- Im having a hard time with it because every year I want to do something nice for my girls in Michigan, two have birthdays this month along with Christmas, and we sent them 25.00 each for their birthdays, and now I get this in the mail. I love the thing, dont get me wrong, I just feel wrong for keeping it. She just got me a nook a month ago which I read my recovery books on, and I really didnt need the Kindle. My kids arent little anymore, my youngest is 17. I still feel guilty and greedy, even though Im not the one that bought it. Im not sure what to make of this- sharing how I feel is so foreign to me. Thanks for listening, if anything.
I find it hard to receive gifts, could always think that the money would be better spent on bills kids etc. For me i think i find it difficult because of my own lack of selfworth. But if your wife did it because she wanted to give you something because she loves you then I say accept it with grace, you are worth buying gifts for maybe thats her way of showing you how much you mean to her?
In support
Simone x
__________________
What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
Not to mention this food for thought. Did you plan on saying something to your wife like this is nice but I wanted to use the money for the kids? Isn't this just another form of us trying to control the alcoholic, just not in the same way? Maybe not but figured I'd mention it because I have gotten gifts from my wife (sometimes I wonder if this is the apology of sorts for her drinking) and thought we should've used the money for something else. Take it, accept it with a thanks and nothing more, and use it as your outlet for doing something for YOU.
She got you a Nook last month and now she's getting you a Kindle? I wonder if that's some guilt talking there.
I know that feeling when the A is being extravgant and you're trying to keep things together and live frugally, especially if the A is already irresponsible about money. And when they present you with a huge HD TV, you're torn between "Thank you!" and thinking "Another instance of out-of-control spending -- this is going to land us in the gutter if it doesn't stop."
I know you are just thinking this over, and not wanting advice. I'm thinking it over too. I think what I would do is take either the Nook or the Kindle and send it to the 17-year-old (assuming she reads at all or can use it). Or else I'd return the Kindle and take some of the money and send it to the kids (and clap the rest in the savings account). But I'm definitely trying to be frugal -- my A was completely the opposite and that did a number on our solvency and still does. You know your situation best.
She got you a Nook last month and now she's getting you a Kindle? I wonder if that's some guilt talking there.
I know that feeling when the A is being extravgant and you're trying to keep things together and live frugally, especially if the A is already irresponsible about money. And when they present you with a huge HD TV, you're torn between "Thank you!" and thinking "Another instance of out-of-control spending -- this is going to land us in the gutter if it doesn't stop."
I know you are just thinking this over, and not wanting advice. I'm thinking it over too. I think what I would do is take either the Nook or the Kindle and send it to the 17-year-old (assuming she reads at all or can use it). Or else I'd return the Kindle and take some of the money and send it to the kids (and clap the rest in the savings account). But I'm definitely trying to be frugal -- my A was completely the opposite and that did a number on our solvency and still does. You know your situation best.
Except now I will have the added element of jealously amongst the daughters- which is why I couldnt allow them to get into sports-etc- too expensive to pay for 5 daughters doing all that. I also cant buy them cars if they asked, I might as well hand over my entire financial life if that were the case.
I didn't realize there were 5 daughters. I guess you could divide the price of the Kindle by five if it came to that. But it does sound as if you're in a tight financial spot. With that, I can see how a duplicate, pricy present feels a bit odd. We're allowed to splurge on ourselves sometimes, but two e-readers in two months would strike me as peculiar too. I think it helps just to acknowledge to ourselves that the situation is peculiar. And of course it is nice to have the money to help our kids out, but what matters most to them is that we show our love and take care of our balance and serenity. It sounds as if you're on that path for certain.
I, too, think it is strange that now you have 2 e-readers, one last month and one this month. Did she forget she already gave one to you? Did she not know what she was doing? Whenever the A would buy me flowers I knew they were really for his guilty feelings. I would take the Kindle back and use the money to give the kids cash. I doubt that she would even notice. You would still be reading your Nook. You have to acknowledge the reality of this. If you want to talk to her about it, you can. I wouldn't put any expectations on what her response would be. If you take the Kindle back and want to tell her your plans for the money from the Kindle you can.... or you don't have to. You have to live in honesty and reality.
Yeah, I feel really odd about the whole situation. I'm definitely keeping the nook. But I just don't known what to do with the kindle. I don't even know what to do with it since I've got the nook already. I'll give it awhile and regift it I think.
