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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Now the work starts
Post Info TOPIC: Now the work starts
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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Now the work starts
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Hi everyone

 

Today is the real start of my recovery in regards to my son.  He is now completely out of money and no way to pay rent.  He called sober and asked about disability and if I could help him apply.  I don't know what he's thinking but I just said I know nothing about it and he would have to do the work himself.  He also asked if I would take his electronic and computers but I also said no...I wouldn't take them.  He said he didn't want to lose them but OK.  I don't know what he is going to do but it's not my problem anymore. Going to stay on my side of the street if it kills me. 

I feel OK right now with what I did...or didn't do for him and I just read and pray for my sanity.

I love my son deeply and we were really close but now I have to let go and it hurts inside not knowing what will happen.

I can only pray he will seek help somday and come back to me the man he used to be.

Didn't go to Al-anon tonight because I was a little weepy but I will attend tomorrow night. 

Pray for me that I get the courage to ask for a sponsor soon because I need one.  Not sure why I'm so scared to ask but I guess I don't want to bother someone.

Thanks for reading and God bless you all

Cathy



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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

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I am sending you much love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
glad lee


~*Service Worker*~

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I applaud you Cathy, my Monday meeting has quite a few beautiful and serene women whose sons are addicts. It will happen for you too, my friend.

One thing I must share, since I have spent 4 hours with one of my sponsees doing inventory today.... it is a complete gift to both sponsor and sponsee to be working together. You will not be a "bother" to anyone who wants to keep growing spiritually. Pray and it will come, Higher power always supplied what I needed to grow ((( big hugs)))

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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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To ask for a sponser is a very wonderful thing! For someone to ask one to be theirs is a compliment to me. Many people want to be one. And remember it works both ways, we end up helping each other.

If one cannot ask another. Or ask someone you trust there to recommend someone.

You are doing so well! Your son has a good foundation you gave him. He has to find the tools to help himself. YOu have given him a huge gift.

hugs,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Zimmy


Senior Member

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Just wanted to give my love and support. Our Higher power works through people, and I'm sure you willl find the right sponsor for you. You are doing so well, as a mother I can imagine it must be hard to detach. But you are now allowing your son to grow up and decide what he wants to do. Great esh for us all.

Take care x


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What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

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Wow Cathy. You are really inspiring for sure. Lending you support!!!! I hope you find a sponsor soon. In my experience, being asked to sponsor someone is like the highest honor anyone can give you in AA or alanon. It wont bother them even if they can't do it due to having too many sponsees already or too many other obligations. Sponsoring is never a bother. It's a privilege and an honor, but if a person just can't do it, don't take it personal if they say so...keep looking.

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Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3026
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Thank you everyone. Waking up this morning and knowing I have support in my decisions is helping me...really. I always have so much guilt inside but I'm also learning this is the only way I can truly help my son.

But now I don't want him to even call me...don't want to deal with it...scared, so embarrassed saying this. Why can't I just face the facts and be strong. I'm hiding from him in my eyes. I'm weak. I still love him and will be there if he wants support in recovery. Does he understand this?

This is all so overwhelming it makes me crazy sometimes. Feelings go back and forth continually in my head.

God please help me to understand and learn with the wisdom and support of Al-anon and all the blessed people here on MIP

Cathy

__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
LeenieBeanie


Senior Member

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Posts: 197
Date:
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((( Cathy  )))

WOW!!!! You are strong !!!

I have been reading your posts for a few weeks and you have to be congratulated. To come so far in the program is remarkable progress. My heart goes out to you as I also have an alcoholic child in the throws of this addiction. I have been in alanon for over 3 years and am finally at the stage where I can see the disease, but miss my daughter. But not enough to aid in her self disruptive ways. 

Stay strong, focus on yourself and definitely seek out a sponsor. Go out to lunch with friends, see a movie, go bowling, whatever..........it helps to get out of your head for a while.  As you make it a habit to put your serenity first, the feelings of being overwhelmed and all the crazy thoughts start taking a back seat to your serenity.  The feelings wont go away, but the hurt wont be so personal, tearing your heart to pieces.  As a mother, I so understand what is going on inside of you. You did not fail him, you did not cause it, or control it, or cure it. I know this is hard, but keep up the great work. Remember, you are not alone in this.

Again, I applaud your detachment skills and wish you all the best seeking a sponsor.

 

 

 



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If God is your Co Pilot, change seats.
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