What's happening to me? - Al-Anon Family Group

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

What's happening to me?

slogan_jim · Senior Member

Hey guys, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of months I have found myself losing a lot of interest in the usual social activities I used to partake in and the people who would participate.Seeing them and meeting up with them now seems like a chore because it is always the SAME thing and includes a lot of binge drinking. I am scared because I feel like I am isolating myself and that they are judging me. The problem is that I cannot grow if I continue to be around them. This scares me because I want friends and loving people in my life and I feel very alone right now. I will go to a meeting tonight but am typing from my phone at work. Thank You.

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi slogan jim, I remember this happening for me too, it was a time for change and a time when I learnt I could choose what friends I wanted and needed in my life, it does seem daunting at first but it's making way for better things, healthy things and best of all you get to choose, glad your going to ameeting tonight enjoy1

katy

x

glad lee · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey Jim, been there, done that also. Recovery brought about a value change in me, I no longer wanted to hang out with sleepwalkers, I wanted to live my life fully awake. as long as I allowed everyone to have their values while I held onto mine, all was well....

What others think of me is none of my business, and I am not responsible for their emotions but...... the challenge for me to overcome, was the nagging static noise that plays in the background of my brain, that I am never doing anything "right" ... and if people don't agree with me, I must not a worthy human being.... all the old tapes from my alcoholic upbringing. that little voice in my head often needs to be told to shut the eff up.

You remind me of the blessing that I was raised in a very socially active al-anon fellowship, we often got together as a group... local restaurants and often at my sponsors house for spaghetti. once she got a new industrial-type waffle iron, she was into throwing waffle parties, morning, noon and night with every topping you can imagine. that was sooooo good for my soul, thank you for the reminder. I'm going to challenge myself to do more of that, we need each other ((hugs))

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

I was told that I had to "separate myself from everything alcohol" and without anesthesia of alcohol to block out the reality I went for it and that included a wife and both sides of my family of orgin and my alcoholic/addict wife's family. I had to go into the desert on that one and I did share tears over it and my early sponsor was right...I had to. There were resentments from the old drinking buddies but none that gave me justification to go back out and give my life away. Some (family and friends) got pissed and belligerant and some shouted "You're not an Alcoholic" (LOL yeah right) and they all wanted me back and I leared for the real reason...to validate their drinking. Life is great today...not perfect...just great!! and I lost the map back to that insanity. What's happening to you? your soul is crying out for freedom. I'd go open the gate for it...fast and let it run free. In support. ((((hugs)))) smile

-- Edited by Jerry F on Monday 3rd of December 2012 09:40:08 PM

AStrongerMe · ~*Service Worker*~

I am going through the same right now. I have very beloved friends who are all single parents, we often do many things together. In the last year the involvement of alcohol in everything has grown exponentially. I am slowly withdrawing, I do not want to be around it nor have my kids around it. So I'm keeping in touch outside of the group with people who have not gone down that road. Those of us that have participated and stayed sober at these events.

I do not feel scared by this, I feel it is more healthy for me not to want to associate with this lifestyle, than were I to keep doing it knowing what I know about alcoholism. Take care!

Aloha · ~*Service Worker*~

I heard a friend in AA once tell me that he asked his HP to gently remove the people from his life that were not good for him and to bring people into his life that were good for him.

I really like the approach and I occasionally find myself asking the same thing, too.

I can speak from experience that there's a treasure trove of wonderful friends you can find during the fellowship after the meetings. In fact, for me, this fellowship has been an extremely important part of my own growth and recovery. The great thing is I get to be hanging around people who are seeking to better their lives, instead of being around people that are content with the same old mess every day. And by all means, don't discount our extended AA family, as well. I think it was mentioned earlier that there are many sober functions put on by AA meetings and Alano clubs where you get to hang around people who are choosing sobriety as their lifestyle.

slogan_jim · Senior Member

Thanks Guys, so glad to know I am not alone. Dealing with this has been somilar to dealing with the alcoholic. The alcoholic would say one thing, I would react a certain way and enable him to drink. I change my reaction and the alcoholic is confused. My friends expect me to act and react a certain way as well. A way that they're used to. Wheb I don't feed them a sarcastic comment or fall into my role within the larger group, they are confused. They see that I don't enjoy drinking and they are confused. I am no longer enabling them to continue.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.