Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I am really scared to even post this here. I have no idea what kind of response I will get. But because this has always been a safe place to share, I want to put this on the board.

For those who don't know I broke up with my Abf a month ago, and I really worked my program for 9 mo. prior to that-- so I could g...

tortuga · tortuga

This was the moment again where I had to reset my boundaries, and with that developed a scream of my needs. I'm afraid ego is raising its head here, first I go months without and then I shout out loud in a moment of explosion. my question to you: is this too much to ask? I'm a bit out of balance i guess, having d...

Bettina · Bettina

"Suffering only gets worse when we try to run from it, rather then face it."

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I attend meetings one time a week here and boy, tonight did I ever need it. My AH has been struggling lately, which sets off my triggers. I know better than to get into his business...but sometimes, it is SO hard to keep my mouth shut!!!! I have been working really hard at detaching from it... It's has been...

liliana223 · liliana223

Hi group, Thanks for listening. I am new to this site, and new to even knowing that my partner (O) is an alcoholic. He only admitted in 2 and half weeks ago when he went to his first AA meeing, the day after his last binge. I went with him to that meeting and several others thanks to the openminded group who h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I truly think now I will be going through a new stage. I think I will not be in contact with my son because he has let go. He had quit talking to everyone in this life and mom is the last one. I will give him up forever if it means recovery but I will also have some sad feelings going forward. I'm going to have t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: Thank you for the kind responses to my post yesterday. I am so grateful to this site and all of you who share your ESH. I know I have made some progress but the conversations I have had w AH recently make me realize I am still not truly accepting that what I am saying, doing or not has no affect on him a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Yesterday was not a good day when it came to my job. I was not invited to the meetings and was out of the loop. Next thing I know two of the people in the meeting comes to me and asks me to start looking for a consultant then a new employee for MRP. Inventory is a mess and needs correction asap. Well mine a...

oldergal · oldergal

?

4my2kids · 4my2kids

Yes that was so hard to type, but its coming to that. Even ex's mom thinks so. I will be getting daughter (10) into counseling, hopefully this week. But I fear their dads end is near and I just don't know how to prepare her (son is 21 and in army out of state and I don't want to upset him with things he can't cont...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will rest for another day & then post how letting go went. I just want to say that as I will not let myself fall apart. Kathleen

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Well, he went to court on Friday for his reckless driving charge. He went alone. His sister acted as his attorney but she wanted him to receive the restrictions he got. He was ordered to install the ignition lock system on his truck so that it will not start unless he is 0.00 BAC. With every failed readin...

neshema2 · neshema2

I come here, read posts...try to give useful ES&H and I am thinking I know I am Coda, I know I am an Acoa, and I THINK I am alanoner as well.... I do hope I fit in here in some way ...I know my posts are sometimes long...I cut to the chase...I am about as open as the grand canyon, I don't even try to hide any...

Venera · Venera

I feel i know the answer, but I do want somebody to agree or disagree. We live far away from my family (parents and brother's family). So nobody knew my husband had a drinking problem. This summer my mom visited us for two months with my brother's daughter, and for the first time they saw my husband drinki...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

I will chair this morning if there is no chair

AngieK · AngieK

I can't begin to know how to thank all of you for taking the time to share with me after my venting last night. I was a wreck and in fact there was nothing to worry about, everything was okay, but what I was reduced to because I didn't know was awful. I'm not one to give up, so I will continue to participate and b...

somekid · somekid

My mom has been dealing with alcoholism for most of my life. She is a heavy binge drinker and suffers from many mental illnesses. I've become severely depressed and I've been self-harming for over 3 years now. I've tried to talk to her about my suicidal thoughts or depression and she tells me I'm a kid an...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anon. I decided that it was getting lonely in my apartment and I wanted to get some companionship. I have decided to foster a cat through my local SPCA. After I agreed to the cat, the volunteer on the other end o...

Pushka · Pushka

I hang up on people when I'm just done with a heated conversation, sometimes it's before the conversation has started .. it's probably very rude maybe wrong .. part of the reason I hang up is because of my mouth. My brain and my mouth are on two separate playing fields .. and at some point my mouth out run...

Two Step · Two Step

I have been in Al-Anon for 13 years but it seems that I never get beyond Step 2. My 41 year old son has been living with me since 2005 and been clean for most of the time. However, I should have seen it coming. In March he blew up, destroyed a chair, threw paint all over the kitchen, broke a window, cut him...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Sigh. Well to start, I always thought of myself as an alcoholic. I was a binge drinker as a teenager, out of control in my twenties (I married another drinker and we drank and fought our way to divorce) and then at 30, I met a real hardcore drinker and started the whole drinking and fighting cycle again,...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have checked out a few options for meetings, but nothing has clicked until now and it was awesome. The meeting was just like my home group in my home town that I have been missing this last year. So I even took a great friend that has A's in her life and she loved it as well. So I feel pumped and with my month o...

4my2kids · 4my2kids

My ex is in the hospital again for suicide watch. Second time since Father's Day. Yes it's time to tell my kids what's going on. I am trying to get ahold of sons unit Chaplin first so he knows what's going on since I can't tell our son in person. Then I will tell our daughter (10) I am relieved ex is in hospital...

AngieK · AngieK

Two weeks ago he was picked up and thrown in the drunk tank. He's not home yet tonight, supposed to be at work, last checked in three and a half hours ago hoping to be home soon. I tried calling him again, no answer, but then there wouldn't be if thick into work. I'm shaking, crying, maybe there's somethin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone I have been up since about 2am because of the cats not getting along. I am now the keeper of my son's kitty Nisa. She's a great cat but having a hard time adjusting to her new home. I have 4 kitties ( Micky, Snickers, Gizzy and Ruby ). Two of them Micky and Snickers are not liking the...

neshema2 · neshema2

Coming back and facing me is not w/out its price to pay, but its better in that out my PTSD comes packaged w/ back spasms and the ibs that triggers off the screwed up nerve impulses to my back muscles. IBS is cyclical when I am working my program and staying with it, feeling better, more positive, my sympt...

tortuga · tortuga

I told you here, as I told some of my friends that have always supported me, that I had let dry ABF move in with me 2 weeks ago, because I was so serene after my meditation course, and he said he was on the verge of change. It seemed full of hope, and I'm an optimist...(an a rescuer I'm afraid)...well it went ni...

Venera · Venera

I know, I know!!! )) He should be the one seeking for his sobriety and recovery slutions. But still for my own knowledge)) Can somebody tell me where does the AH has to start if he decides to stop drinking? Is there a docotor to go? Is it covered by insurance? Is it only AA meetings or something else? If it i...

KJ211 · KJ211

My husband is a functionong alcoholic and does not believe he has a problem. He displayes all the classic signs. To make a long story short and to get to the point, I have been reasearching places to live in order to move out of our home. I need advice on how to approach this with my husband. We have been goin...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm grateful to be able to say there some hope. I have been laying low for a bit. Getting to my meetings and living in the day to the best I can . 5 months in al Alon and I'm on step 3 .. It's taking me a while to accept and understand that I'm powerless over the alcohol , I get it. My children come home Tuesday a...

JDL · JDL

Well, I see that telling my 37 yr old A sister HOW I think she should 'be' (she's 6 weeks sober) in making a life for herself, or to do ANYTHING more than she has in the past, or taking steps FINALLY to learn how to work towards the path of self sufficiency - falls under the umbrella of MY issues. Why can't I be m...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: As the summer is unfolding and life as a separated woman is presenting itself to me, I have days that most certainly feel like moving forward, positive, and some that feel like steps back. I'm working hard to try and understand step one and what it means for me, some days I really struggle...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Lately two people on my horizon have been triggering me tremendously. I am sure these people just show up in my life to teach me various lessons because they certainly just pop up outta nowhere all the time. But oh how much I would like to make it all about "them" and not me. When I lived or ra...

Venera · Venera

I feel happy! This is so ironic! I am living the situation which in my thoughts would be a nightmare if I knew this was coming, but I actually feel good. Long story short. I live with my AH for 9 years, we have 2 kids, pregnant with the 3rd one. His sickness has been progressing especially this year. At this m...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I'm off my game today. Wanting to stay home and not go to work. Was blindsided yesterday by a peer. Struggling to find my part in it since I'm not sure what prompted this person's behavior. My own behavior and self-talk led to a sleepless night although I did what I could to work the program. The per...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm trying to clean up 5 fires that STBAX has left me to deal with .. his attitude has always been .. fire what fire (to the pretend fireman in my head) go to the other house as ours is burning to the ground and I'm running around shouting fire fire fire! LOL. It's a mess and I'm in fix it mode. This is where I h...

Pushka · Pushka

Things certainly can take a huge change in just 24 hours .. it's why I'm learning not to make any rash decisions and just wait until whatever I'm feeling emotionally passes and I can take a look at something in a more detached way. When in doubt don't .. and that qualifies for me to mean when any kind of em...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I am posting a crazy post--not me my mom. I am very well thankfully just a little stressed. My mom belongs in a psychiatric ward as she is behaving what we call manicky & having an episode. She is not drinking. I just hope some way that she will get help soon. I am trying to keep it together--I can &am...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It was interesting for sure. Found out I am working in inpatient residential rehab and not PHP. Most of the residents seem very young as I expected. There was some discussion about rebuilding trust with families and how to deal with stressors with family when they go home. We discussed alanon and...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone Wow was I a basket case or what. I'm taking it as a new learning experience that my son is no different than anyone else out there. Yeah...I knew he could and would manipulate me but to the extent that I now see. Boy what an eye opener! He will do ANYTHING to get what he needs and a...

1984Thru · 1984Thru

Hi, your board is so helpful and I have read it for many years for advice. Now I need some serious help. After almost 29 years of lying about his secretive binge drinking, I am done with my husband. I'm ready to divorce him and have seen a lawyer who is drawing up papers right now. I will try to be as fair as pos...

Bettina · Bettina

"The Beauty of the world has two edges, One of Laughter, One of Anguish, Cutting the heart asunder."

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am anxious. I am sad but at least I don't have the problems my mom has now. She filed a complaint against my husband & said she would stop it but didn't she is going further away from the truth & it scares me & my husband too. I hope she gets help. I love her but sometimes like now I don't like her o...

magazine · magazine

I'm new to this site. I've known about Alanon for a long time but thought it wasn't for me. Well my husband of 28 years,(we've been together since we were 18) just left me 7 weeks ago. Our relationship that produced two boys to be proud of of 17 and 21 came to an end. His father was an alcoholic and so is he...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi guys John pm'd me re: our "glitch" like when you try to start a new post, it says you don't have permission. John is contacting the Admin. side of the forum to get this fixed, in case any of you are being blocked from starting a new topic Thanks...Yesterday it was on and off, and John got bloc...

Venera · Venera

Guys, is there a good book to give my AH to read? And what is the best way to give him? Thanks!

neshema2 · neshema2

I can so relate to this....This hammers home that I can only change, take care of me....as to accepting or walking away???? Why would I accept constant disrespect....If for some reason I cannot walk away physically, I sure can "cut em off" in my head....detach...walk away in my head, If I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am still working on the ESH you all sent in response to my post...mind, body, spirit and emotions. I'm doing with your mana`o (ESH in Hawaiian) what I've always done...don't react relax and take it slow. I get more from it in time. I already have. Just wanted to say mahalo before going to work. E...

Breezie · Breezie

I don't post much, but I love to come here and read. My husband and I have gone round and round on this subject, and I was hoping for some insight. Do you have boundaries set with opposite sex friends in the program? What are they? Although recovery is about love and support, what I have understood is th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it's Monday morning and I finally decided I should go to work. Don't stay home just because you made a big big mistake. This was a weekend from hell. I let my guard down and was hit right upside the head. I didn't go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor, I quit my counselor and woman's group and I qui...

neshema2 · neshema2

On and off. I get this Message when I try to START a topic..."you don't currently have permission to post on this forum" or words to that affect I can post UNDER an EXISTING post, but cannot start... NOW I can start, but problem is intermittent and maybe global??? b/c on the acoa board it h...

neshema2 · neshema2

Reading Jerry's thread, I had a breakthrough..... OMG I cannot believe it....this program is a miracle.... I am reading the various posts about the "forgiveness" word and how giving up the hate/revenge/ill will/resentment, et al, only hurts me... I thought about all this....RE read...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

hi all. you know my story. . mom to a only child who is nine, married 13 yrs to an adm alc but one who doesnt care to change. in steadfastly devoted to staying so i dont have to share custody and so i dont become yet another person in a very long line of people to turn away from my husband. he has no relationships...

mama2nca · mama2nca

I'm so sick of the lies. And its not just about alcohol. Almost a year ago he gave up chewing tobacco. Recently I've been suspect that he started chewing again. So I ask. Calmly. To his face and lovingly. And I get no.... No ... No and no. So I asked again yesterday because I had proof of spit stains on the ca...

Jozie · Jozie

As Some Know Last week I Took a Trip on my Harley, and Traveled around abit, Not really knowing Where we were Goin, Or What we would see or where we would stay for that matter, I have to say, HP was GOOD! The Storms that were in the Area's we were, was all around us but by the Grace of God! We Stayed Dry, and when w...

Pushka · Pushka

So not a simple task at this point, .. I'm angry .. LOL .. what a shock I know. Well, I'm not so much angry as I am disgusted, my compassion tank is not empty .. it's beyond empty. I even went to an AA meeting that I left early only because I didn't have one word that was nice to say at that point. I guess my ange...

Turris · Turris

Hi everyone, This is my first post here, and, boy, am I glad to have found this place. :) I've been actively going to Al-anon and ACA for about a year now in order to alleviate a persistent anxiety disorder. I feel like I have come very far in this time, having successfully fought off panic at...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Hi all. I've been checking in, work as been a bit crazy! I'm so thankful for Al-Anon, for the tools and slogans and having a safe place! So yesterday my AH and stepdaughter and I went to his parents for lunch. My MIL is the adult child of an abusive alcoholic father, she has 2 children, both are A's. I've now...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon Today was another beautiful day in Southern Ontario. This weekend I was able to catch up on some sleep and I was very well rested. Today I went for a walk on the lake as it was to beautiful to stay indoors. Later, I will prepare some sal...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Rose, and y'all... I wanted to talk about the illness- it came up on another thread but belongs here... to be honest as i cast my eyes across this board- as wave after wave of people come forward with their ESH. It is daunting, and raw... I admire those of you who respond day after day... I talk to stuff w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	went to an AA meeting (Preview) I am really scared to even post this here. I have no idea what kind of response I will get. But because this has always been a safe place to share, I want to put this on the board. For those who don't know I broke up with my Abf a month ago, and I really worked my program for 9 mo. prior to that-- so I could g...	giraffe13	8	371	Aug 3, 2013 by giraffe13
	needs: is this just too much to ask?? (Preview) This was the moment again where I had to reset my boundaries, and with that developed a scream of my needs. I'm afraid ego is raising its head here, first I go months without and then I shout out loud in a moment of explosion. my question to you: is this too much to ask? I'm a bit out of balance i guess, having d...	tortuga	6	412	Aug 3, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Don't run from it (Preview) "Suffering only gets worse when we try to run from it, rather then face it."	Bettina	10	430	Aug 2, 2013 by Bettina
	Just attended a great alanon meeting....Just what I needed! (Preview) I attend meetings one time a week here and boy, tonight did I ever need it. My AH has been struggling lately, which sets off my triggers. I know better than to get into his business...but sometimes, it is SO hard to keep my mouth shut!!!! I have been working really hard at detaching from it... It's has been...	Sweet Stanley	4	255	Aug 2, 2013 by maryjane
	New here... Should I write an Impact Letter? (Preview) Hi group, Thanks for listening. I am new to this site, and new to even knowing that my partner (O) is an alcoholic. He only admitted in 2 and half weeks ago when he went to his first AA meeing, the day after his last binge. I went with him to that meeting and several others thanks to the openminded group who h...	liliana223	10	866	Aug 2, 2013 by liliana223
	New stage in my recovery (Preview) I truly think now I will be going through a new stage. I think I will not be in contact with my son because he has let go. He had quit talking to everyone in this life and mom is the last one. I will give him up forever if it means recovery but I will also have some sad feelings going forward. I'm going to have t...	Cathyinaz	11	572	Aug 2, 2013 by Pushka
	thank you friends (Preview) Hi All: Thank you for the kind responses to my post yesterday. I am so grateful to this site and all of you who share your ESH. I know I have made some progress but the conversations I have had w AH recently make me realize I am still not truly accepting that what I am saying, doing or not has no affect on him a...	yanksfan51	6	329	Aug 2, 2013 by oldergal
	Oh My Job (Preview) Yesterday was not a good day when it came to my job. I was not invited to the meetings and was out of the loop. Next thing I know two of the people in the meeting comes to me and asks me to start looking for a consultant then a new employee for MRP. Inventory is a mess and needs correction asap. Well mine a...	Cathyinaz	4	407	Aug 2, 2013 by tiredtonite
	What Is A Functioning Alcoholic As Opposed to a Regular Alcoholic? (Preview) ?	oldergal	34	1007	Aug 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	How to prepare your kids for their dads death (Preview) Yes that was so hard to type, but its coming to that. Even ex's mom thinks so. I will be getting daughter (10) into counseling, hopefully this week. But I fear their dads end is near and I just don't know how to prepare her (son is 21 and in army out of state and I don't want to upset him with things he can't cont...	4my2kids	26	561	Aug 1, 2013 by Bettina
	I will rest for another day! (Preview) I will rest for another day & then post how letting go went. I just want to say that as I will not let myself fall apart. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	260	Aug 2, 2013 by Turris
	AH Goes to Court (Preview) Well, he went to court on Friday for his reckless driving charge. He went alone. His sister acted as his attorney but she wanted him to receive the restrictions he got. He was ordered to install the ignition lock system on his truck so that it will not start unless he is 0.00 BAC. With every failed readin...	wornoutmrsfixit	3	343	Aug 2, 2013 by Pushka
	I never thought of this, but I DO HOPE I really fit in (Preview) I come here, read posts...try to give useful ES&H and I am thinking I know I am Coda, I know I am an Acoa, and I THINK I am alanoner as well.... I do hope I fit in here in some way ...I know my posts are sometimes long...I cut to the chase...I am about as open as the grand canyon, I don't even try to hide any...	neshema2	8	474	Aug 2, 2013 by neshema2
	was it ok to share? (Preview) I feel i know the answer, but I do want somebody to agree or disagree. We live far away from my family (parents and brother's family). So nobody knew my husband had a drinking problem. This summer my mom visited us for two months with my brother's daughter, and for the first time they saw my husband drinki...	Venera	26	769	Aug 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thursday morning meeting (Preview) I will chair this morning if there is no chair	mercedes1959	0	198	Aug 1, 2013 by mercedes1959
	thank you (Preview) I can't begin to know how to thank all of you for taking the time to share with me after my venting last night. I was a wreck and in fact there was nothing to worry about, everything was okay, but what I was reduced to because I didn't know was awful. I'm not one to give up, so I will continue to participate and b...	AngieK	4	343	Aug 1, 2013 by AngieK
	My mom is an alcoholic (Preview) My mom has been dealing with alcoholism for most of my life. She is a heavy binge drinker and suffers from many mental illnesses. I've become severely depressed and I've been self-harming for over 3 years now. I've tried to talk to her about my suicidal thoughts or depression and she tells me I'm a kid an...	somekid	4	393	Aug 1, 2013 by Jozie
	Hard time accepting positive feedback (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anon. I decided that it was getting lonely in my apartment and I wanted to get some companionship. I have decided to foster a cat through my local SPCA. After I agreed to the cat, the volunteer on the other end o...	slogan_jim	12	436	Aug 1, 2013 by Turris
	Hanging up .. (Preview) I hang up on people when I'm just done with a heated conversation, sometimes it's before the conversation has started .. it's probably very rude maybe wrong .. part of the reason I hang up is because of my mouth. My brain and my mouth are on two separate playing fields .. and at some point my mouth out run...	Pushka	7	486	Aug 1, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Always stuck at Step 2 (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for 13 years but it seems that I never get beyond Step 2. My 41 year old son has been living with me since 2005 and been clean for most of the time. However, I should have seen it coming. In March he blew up, destroyed a chair, threw paint all over the kitchen, broke a window, cut him...	Two Step	6	486	Aug 1, 2013 by Turris
	Just a ramble. (Preview) Sigh. Well to start, I always thought of myself as an alcoholic. I was a binge drinker as a teenager, out of control in my twenties (I married another drinker and we drank and fought our way to divorce) and then at 30, I met a real hardcore drinker and started the whole drinking and fighting cycle again,...	Melly1248	7	504	Aug 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	I found a new awesome meeting Tuesday evenings (Preview) I have checked out a few options for meetings, but nothing has clicked until now and it was awesome. The meeting was just like my home group in my home town that I have been missing this last year. So I even took a great friend that has A's in her life and she loved it as well. So I feel pumped and with my month o...	Breakingfree	7	252	Aug 1, 2013 by Jackie11
	He is in hospital again (Preview) My ex is in the hospital again for suicide watch. Second time since Father's Day. Yes it's time to tell my kids what's going on. I am trying to get ahold of sons unit Chaplin first so he knows what's going on since I can't tell our son in person. Then I will tell our daughter (10) I am relieved ex is in hospital...	4my2kids	11	537	Aug 1, 2013 by 4my2kids
	need to vent (Preview) Two weeks ago he was picked up and thrown in the drunk tank. He's not home yet tonight, supposed to be at work, last checked in three and a half hours ago hoping to be home soon. I tried calling him again, no answer, but then there wouldn't be if thick into work. I'm shaking, crying, maybe there's somethin...	AngieK	8	375	Aug 1, 2013 by AngieK
	Cats (Preview) Good Morning Everyone I have been up since about 2am because of the cats not getting along. I am now the keeper of my son's kitty Nisa. She's a great cat but having a hard time adjusting to her new home. I have 4 kitties ( Micky, Snickers, Gizzy and Ruby ). Two of them Micky and Snickers are not liking the...	Cathyinaz	11	382	Aug 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling lousey today (Preview) Coming back and facing me is not w/out its price to pay, but its better in that out my PTSD comes packaged w/ back spasms and the ibs that triggers off the screwed up nerve impulses to my back muscles. IBS is cyclical when I am working my program and staying with it, feeling better, more positive, my sympt...	neshema2	7	336	Aug 1, 2013 by neshema2
	i guess that was a relapse on my path of recovery! (Preview) I told you here, as I told some of my friends that have always supported me, that I had let dry ABF move in with me 2 weeks ago, because I was so serene after my meditation course, and he said he was on the verge of change. It seemed full of hope, and I'm an optimist...(an a rescuer I'm afraid)...well it went ni...	tortuga	8	412	Aug 1, 2013 by tortuga
	Treatment for AH (Preview) I know, I know!!! )) He should be the one seeking for his sobriety and recovery slutions. But still for my own knowledge)) Can somebody tell me where does the AH has to start if he decides to stop drinking? Is there a docotor to go? Is it covered by insurance? Is it only AA meetings or something else? If it i...	Venera	10	400	Aug 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Advice (Preview) My husband is a functionong alcoholic and does not believe he has a problem. He displayes all the classic signs. To make a long story short and to get to the point, I have been reasearching places to live in order to move out of our home. I need advice on how to approach this with my husband. We have been goin...	KJ211	6	363	Aug 1, 2013 by neshema2
	Al Alon check in (Preview) I'm grateful to be able to say there some hope. I have been laying low for a bit. Getting to my meetings and living in the day to the best I can . 5 months in al Alon and I'm on step 3 .. It's taking me a while to accept and understand that I'm powerless over the alcohol , I get it. My children come home Tuesday a...	Ms co-dependent	9	1901	Jul 31, 2013 by hotrod
	Telling my A to grow up & take responsibility Doing harm than good (Preview) Well, I see that telling my 37 yr old A sister HOW I think she should 'be' (she's 6 weeks sober) in making a life for herself, or to do ANYTHING more than she has in the past, or taking steps FINALLY to learn how to work towards the path of self sufficiency - falls under the umbrella of MY issues. Why can't I be m...	JDL	9	657	Jul 31, 2013 by Bettina
	One Day at a Time....and Step One (Preview) Hi Everybody: As the summer is unfolding and life as a separated woman is presenting itself to me, I have days that most certainly feel like moving forward, positive, and some that feel like steps back. I'm working hard to try and understand step one and what it means for me, some days I really struggle...	yanksfan51	6	458	Jul 31, 2013 by Jerry F
	meaning what I say . (Preview) Lately two people on my horizon have been triggering me tremendously. I am sure these people just show up in my life to teach me various lessons because they certainly just pop up outta nowhere all the time. But oh how much I would like to make it all about "them" and not me. When I lived or ra...	orchidlover	8	443	Jul 31, 2013 by oldergal
	Happy!)) (Preview) I feel happy! This is so ironic! I am living the situation which in my thoughts would be a nightmare if I knew this was coming, but I actually feel good. Long story short. I live with my AH for 9 years, we have 2 kids, pregnant with the 3rd one. His sickness has been progressing especially this year. At this m...	Venera	7	577	Jul 31, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Off my game today (Preview) I'm off my game today. Wanting to stay home and not go to work. Was blindsided yesterday by a peer. Struggling to find my part in it since I'm not sure what prompted this person's behavior. My own behavior and self-talk led to a sleepless night although I did what I could to work the program. The per...	grateful2be	21	577	Jul 31, 2013 by grateful2be
	Cleaning up (Preview) I'm trying to clean up 5 fires that STBAX has left me to deal with .. his attitude has always been .. fire what fire (to the pretend fireman in my head) go to the other house as ours is burning to the ground and I'm running around shouting fire fire fire! LOL. It's a mess and I'm in fix it mode. This is where I h...	Pushka	3	379	Jul 31, 2013 by Pushka
	24 hours later .. (Preview) Things certainly can take a huge change in just 24 hours .. it's why I'm learning not to make any rash decisions and just wait until whatever I'm feeling emotionally passes and I can take a look at something in a more detached way. When in doubt don't .. and that qualifies for me to mean when any kind of em...	Pushka	5	585	Jul 31, 2013 by Mimi3
	I can & will! (Preview) So, I am posting a crazy post--not me my mom. I am very well thankfully just a little stressed. My mom belongs in a psychiatric ward as she is behaving what we call manicky & having an episode. She is not drinking. I just hope some way that she will get help soon. I am trying to keep it together--I can &am...	Hoot Nanny	2	224	Jul 31, 2013 by Jerry F
	Day 1 at the new job (Preview) It was interesting for sure. Found out I am working in inpatient residential rehab and not PHP. Most of the residents seem very young as I expected. There was some discussion about rebuilding trust with families and how to deal with stressors with family when they go home. We discussed alanon and...	pinkchip	14	437	Jul 31, 2013 by tiredtonite
	So much to learn (Preview) Good Morning Everyone Wow was I a basket case or what. I'm taking it as a new learning experience that my son is no different than anyone else out there. Yeah...I knew he could and would manipulate me but to the extent that I now see. Boy what an eye opener! He will do ANYTHING to get what he needs and a...	Cathyinaz	10	512	Jul 31, 2013 by Peggy7
	Help! NEED advice on how to TELL him about divorce (Preview) Hi, your board is so helpful and I have read it for many years for advice. Now I need some serious help. After almost 29 years of lying about his secretive binge drinking, I am done with my husband. I'm ready to divorce him and have seen a lawyer who is drawing up papers right now. I will try to be as fair as pos...	1984Thru	5	403	Jul 31, 2013 by 1984Thru
	a poem by Virginia Wolfe (Preview) "The Beauty of the world has two edges, One of Laughter, One of Anguish, Cutting the heart asunder."	Bettina	5	400	Jul 31, 2013 by orchidlover
	another post to update further. (Preview) I am anxious. I am sad but at least I don't have the problems my mom has now. She filed a complaint against my husband & said she would stop it but didn't she is going further away from the truth & it scares me & my husband too. I hope she gets help. I love her but sometimes like now I don't like her o...	Hoot Nanny	3	249	Jul 31, 2013 by grateful2be
	I'm new to this site.... (Preview) I'm new to this site. I've known about Alanon for a long time but thought it wasn't for me. Well my husband of 28 years,(we've been together since we were 18) just left me 7 weeks ago. Our relationship that produced two boys to be proud of of 17 and 21 came to an end. His father was an alcoholic and so is he...	magazine	8	379	Jul 31, 2013 by magazine
	the GLITCH (Preview) Hi guys John pm'd me re: our "glitch" like when you try to start a new post, it says you don't have permission. John is contacting the Admin. side of the forum to get this fixed, in case any of you are being blocked from starting a new topic Thanks...Yesterday it was on and off, and John got bloc...	neshema2	4	291	Jul 30, 2013 by John
	Book for AH (Preview) Guys, is there a good book to give my AH to read? And what is the best way to give him? Thanks!	Venera	8	588	Jul 30, 2013 by Venera
	short and simple about detachment (Preview) I can so relate to this....This hammers home that I can only change, take care of me....as to accepting or walking away???? Why would I accept constant disrespect....If for some reason I cannot walk away physically, I sure can "cut em off" in my head....detach...walk away in my head, If I...	neshema2	5	474	Jul 30, 2013 by diamond
	Mahalo and ((((Hugs))))... (Preview) I am still working on the ESH you all sent in response to my post...mind, body, spirit and emotions. I'm doing with your mana`o (ESH in Hawaiian) what I've always done...don't react relax and take it slow. I get more from it in time. I already have. Just wanted to say mahalo before going to work. E...	Jerry F	13	450	Jul 30, 2013 by neshema2
	Opposite sex recovery friends (Preview) I don't post much, but I love to come here and read. My husband and I have gone round and round on this subject, and I was hoping for some insight. Do you have boundaries set with opposite sex friends in the program? What are they? Although recovery is about love and support, what I have understood is th...	Breezie	19	5265	Jul 30, 2013 by rehprof
	I just threw everything away (Preview) Well it's Monday morning and I finally decided I should go to work. Don't stay home just because you made a big big mistake. This was a weekend from hell. I let my guard down and was hit right upside the head. I didn't go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor, I quit my counselor and woman's group and I qui...	Cathyinaz	21	634	Jul 30, 2013 by rehprof
	is there a GLITCH???? (Preview) On and off. I get this Message when I try to START a topic..."you don't currently have permission to post on this forum" or words to that affect I can post UNDER an EXISTING post, but cannot start... NOW I can start, but problem is intermittent and maybe global??? b/c on the acoa board it h...	neshema2	4	317	Jul 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	take off on Jerry's Thread (Preview) Reading Jerry's thread, I had a breakthrough..... OMG I cannot believe it....this program is a miracle.... I am reading the various posts about the "forgiveness" word and how giving up the hate/revenge/ill will/resentment, et al, only hurts me... I thought about all this....RE read...	neshema2	5	464	Jul 30, 2013 by 4my2kids
	calling moms. . how to help children (Preview) hi all. you know my story. . mom to a only child who is nine, married 13 yrs to an adm alc but one who doesnt care to change. in steadfastly devoted to staying so i dont have to share custody and so i dont become yet another person in a very long line of people to turn away from my husband. he has no relationships...	Theoceancalls	12	520	Jul 30, 2013 by 4my2kids
	feeling like giving up on him... (Preview) I'm so sick of the lies. And its not just about alcohol. Almost a year ago he gave up chewing tobacco. Recently I've been suspect that he started chewing again. So I ask. Calmly. To his face and lovingly. And I get no.... No ... No and no. So I asked again yesterday because I had proof of spit stains on the ca...	mama2nca	9	591	Jul 30, 2013 by 4my2kids
	The 6 day Journey to Me! (Preview) As Some Know Last week I Took a Trip on my Harley, and Traveled around abit, Not really knowing Where we were Goin, Or What we would see or where we would stay for that matter, I have to say, HP was GOOD! The Storms that were in the Area's we were, was all around us but by the Grace of God! We Stayed Dry, and when w...	Jozie	4	456	Jul 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Trying to Let go and Let God (Preview) So not a simple task at this point, .. I'm angry .. LOL .. what a shock I know. Well, I'm not so much angry as I am disgusted, my compassion tank is not empty .. it's beyond empty. I even went to an AA meeting that I left early only because I didn't have one word that was nice to say at that point. I guess my ange...	Pushka	7	415	Jul 30, 2013 by rehprof
	Relapse And Other Musings (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first post here, and, boy, am I glad to have found this place. :) I've been actively going to Al-anon and ACA for about a year now in order to alleviate a persistent anxiety disorder. I feel like I have come very far in this time, having successfully fought off panic at...	Turris	7	422	Jul 29, 2013 by PP
	Staying on my side of the street (Preview) Hi all. I've been checking in, work as been a bit crazy! I'm so thankful for Al-Anon, for the tools and slogans and having a safe place! So yesterday my AH and stepdaughter and I went to his parents for lunch. My MIL is the adult child of an abusive alcoholic father, she has 2 children, both are A's. I've now...	Jackie11	6	749	Jul 29, 2013 by Jozie
	amazing day today. (Preview) Hey Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon Today was another beautiful day in Southern Ontario. This weekend I was able to catch up on some sleep and I was very well rested. Today I went for a walk on the lake as it was to beautiful to stay indoors. Later, I will prepare some sal...	slogan_jim	8	388	Jul 29, 2013 by Jozie
	Ping Neshema: 'the illness'. (Preview) Hi Rose, and y'all... I wanted to talk about the illness- it came up on another thread but belongs here... to be honest as i cast my eyes across this board- as wave after wave of people come forward with their ESH. It is daunting, and raw... I admire those of you who respond day after day... I talk to stuff w...	DavidG	8	501	Jul 29, 2013 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.