Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

1984Thru · 1984Thru

Hi, your board is so helpful and I have read it for many years for advice. Now I need some serious help. After almost 29 years of lying about his secretive binge drinking, I am done with my husband. I'm ready to divorce him and have seen a lawyer who is drawing up papers right now. I will try to be as fair as pos...

Bettina · Bettina

"The Beauty of the world has two edges, One of Laughter, One of Anguish, Cutting the heart asunder."

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am anxious. I am sad but at least I don't have the problems my mom has now. She filed a complaint against my husband & said she would stop it but didn't she is going further away from the truth & it scares me & my husband too. I hope she gets help. I love her but sometimes like now I don't like her o...

magazine · magazine

I'm new to this site. I've known about Alanon for a long time but thought it wasn't for me. Well my husband of 28 years,(we've been together since we were 18) just left me 7 weeks ago. Our relationship that produced two boys to be proud of of 17 and 21 came to an end. His father was an alcoholic and so is he...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi guys John pm'd me re: our "glitch" like when you try to start a new post, it says you don't have permission. John is contacting the Admin. side of the forum to get this fixed, in case any of you are being blocked from starting a new topic Thanks...Yesterday it was on and off, and John got bloc...

Venera · Venera

Guys, is there a good book to give my AH to read? And what is the best way to give him? Thanks!

neshema2 · neshema2

I can so relate to this....This hammers home that I can only change, take care of me....as to accepting or walking away???? Why would I accept constant disrespect....If for some reason I cannot walk away physically, I sure can "cut em off" in my head....detach...walk away in my head, If I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am still working on the ESH you all sent in response to my post...mind, body, spirit and emotions. I'm doing with your mana`o (ESH in Hawaiian) what I've always done...don't react relax and take it slow. I get more from it in time. I already have. Just wanted to say mahalo before going to work. E...

Breezie · Breezie

I don't post much, but I love to come here and read. My husband and I have gone round and round on this subject, and I was hoping for some insight. Do you have boundaries set with opposite sex friends in the program? What are they? Although recovery is about love and support, what I have understood is th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it's Monday morning and I finally decided I should go to work. Don't stay home just because you made a big big mistake. This was a weekend from hell. I let my guard down and was hit right upside the head. I didn't go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor, I quit my counselor and woman's group and I qui...

neshema2 · neshema2

On and off. I get this Message when I try to START a topic..."you don't currently have permission to post on this forum" or words to that affect I can post UNDER an EXISTING post, but cannot start... NOW I can start, but problem is intermittent and maybe global??? b/c on the acoa board it h...

neshema2 · neshema2

Reading Jerry's thread, I had a breakthrough..... OMG I cannot believe it....this program is a miracle.... I am reading the various posts about the "forgiveness" word and how giving up the hate/revenge/ill will/resentment, et al, only hurts me... I thought about all this....RE read...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

hi all. you know my story. . mom to a only child who is nine, married 13 yrs to an adm alc but one who doesnt care to change. in steadfastly devoted to staying so i dont have to share custody and so i dont become yet another person in a very long line of people to turn away from my husband. he has no relationships...

mama2nca · mama2nca

I'm so sick of the lies. And its not just about alcohol. Almost a year ago he gave up chewing tobacco. Recently I've been suspect that he started chewing again. So I ask. Calmly. To his face and lovingly. And I get no.... No ... No and no. So I asked again yesterday because I had proof of spit stains on the ca...

Jozie · Jozie

As Some Know Last week I Took a Trip on my Harley, and Traveled around abit, Not really knowing Where we were Goin, Or What we would see or where we would stay for that matter, I have to say, HP was GOOD! The Storms that were in the Area's we were, was all around us but by the Grace of God! We Stayed Dry, and when w...

Pushka · Pushka

So not a simple task at this point, .. I'm angry .. LOL .. what a shock I know. Well, I'm not so much angry as I am disgusted, my compassion tank is not empty .. it's beyond empty. I even went to an AA meeting that I left early only because I didn't have one word that was nice to say at that point. I guess my ange...

Turris · Turris

Hi everyone, This is my first post here, and, boy, am I glad to have found this place. :) I've been actively going to Al-anon and ACA for about a year now in order to alleviate a persistent anxiety disorder. I feel like I have come very far in this time, having successfully fought off panic at...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Hi all. I've been checking in, work as been a bit crazy! I'm so thankful for Al-Anon, for the tools and slogans and having a safe place! So yesterday my AH and stepdaughter and I went to his parents for lunch. My MIL is the adult child of an abusive alcoholic father, she has 2 children, both are A's. I've now...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon Today was another beautiful day in Southern Ontario. This weekend I was able to catch up on some sleep and I was very well rested. Today I went for a walk on the lake as it was to beautiful to stay indoors. Later, I will prepare some sal...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Rose, and y'all... I wanted to talk about the illness- it came up on another thread but belongs here... to be honest as i cast my eyes across this board- as wave after wave of people come forward with their ESH. It is daunting, and raw... I admire those of you who respond day after day... I talk to stuff w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

my early sponsorship worked me and had me practice understanding the disease and recovery on these levels. My elder sponsor gave me a serious caveat that I took as a warning the first time I heard it...it was said so seriously and I knew work on it was going to be higher learning. "Unless you ar...

Coach7227 · Coach7227

I need a place to vent and to find people who understand. I suspect it is here. I live with a functional alcoholic woman. She's up to 5 bottles of wine a day. I've tried everything. Asking nicely and lovingly for her to stop. Expressing my fears for her health. Arguing. Even talking to her doctor (which se...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Whenever I get back home to California we see each other and catch up and my 15 year old sees her 14 year old second cousin Victoria. Well today I read on facebook from a family member that my cousins were in the Arizona desert riding 4 wheelers, which they often do in the summer and Victoria had an accide...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I made a big mistake having my son up here this weekend. Usually things go well but this time he is on something. Not alcohol.....think Librium. Just as screwed up in the head anyways. He will get upset very very easy so I'm having to step lightly. I wish I didn't put myself in this situation...dang....

stephaniej · stephaniej

As far as I've come in my program, I STILL struggle with this from time to time: unhealthy obsessing about other people, what they're doing, what their choices are, etc. If I was in AA, I would call any one of the dozens of people on my phone tree for real-time support and suggestions for re-focusing my e...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend/colleague that opened my eyes a bit. Her mother was diagnosed two years ago with a serious blood disorder, and during that time the entire family has been deeply affected by the disease. When the diagnosis first came, I remember my friend and I were traveli...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH has been very depressed lately. A good friend of his passed away the other day and that along with our marriage issues, I think is bringing him down. I went in to the bedroom to speak to him, just asking how his day was going and asking him if there are any funeral plans yet. He wouldn't even make eye...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I know I'm chatty lately. I also know this really isn't alcoholism related, but it is related to denial that we talk so much about. I just watched a TV clip on a bank robbery. The bank is full of customers. A man approaches a teller with tree branches duct-taped to his head. Demands money. No custo...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My friend asked me and I responded "How do I look"? He took another look and said "You always look good...and healthy" which caused me to smile and reply..."then I can keep on going huh"? He laughed and went away. Today wasn't one of those keep on going days...PT...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

... and I guess they aren't going to go away until I take my power back. I'm either being abandoned, banished or terrorized in the dreams. What we don't resolve in daylight haunts us through the night? I don't know. I have so much going on and I feel like I'm dangling from a thin branch sticking out of a...

thistooshallpass · thistooshallpass

My alcoholic has been sober for 18 months. He doesn't miss a meeting. He left the house tonight at 5:30 and will attend 3 meetings tonight! However, he can't seem to get motivated to find a job or do chores around the house. When I try to talk to him about our financial situation and that bills are pil...

grateful2be · grateful2be

As you know, I'm planning on retiring in the new year from a work that was fascinating to me although often incredibly difficult and painful. This year, I am slowly saying goodbye to the people and to the location of the work - both interiorly and exteriorly - when appropriate. Last night I had a dream th...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was cleaning out my bedroom and ran into an OLD and DEARLY loved friend!!! His name is Mr. Bunny....Here is his story... I was 15 and walking down this path at the Cape Cod, Massachusetts summer home we had and i found this UGLY bunny rabbit...he was BUTT ugly.. head was not ripped off but wobbly, dirt...

FAITH1988 · FAITH1988

Letter to ALCOHOLIC SON ~ a draft any suggestions are welcome first and foremost I want you to know I love you very much. I do hope one day you know how deeply a parents love is for their child. How did we get here, how much pain has been suffered in 6 years. Since you have been getting help I learned that you we...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

hi everyone! I haven't been on here in quite a while due to working a lot and taking a summer Statistics class for the second time. It's challenging but I'm understanding the material much better. Work has been a bit of a challenge as of late... I'm learning the importance of time management. It's a bit f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hopefully wholeness will come sooner than later! I am excited about getting it together again. I am making it through summer w/o any more incidents. It is a warm but wonderful day. Anything is possible. My husband is mellowing out about my mother. He decided that we should forgive those that trespass...

norasq · norasq

I have been struggling with the issue of what to say to friends and family lately. My AH and I have been married for 20 years. It has taken most of that time to understand that he is, and has been for all of that time, a highly functional alcoholic. We separated 6 months ago, with AH still denying that his...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54478468/alanon-step-9/

Blanche · Blanche

I can't seem to find it. Yesterday was the date I moved out two months ago from my husband. I have never felt so low. I have never felt so sad. We talk maybe twice a month. He says he wants to fix it, and then does nothing to fix it. I told him to make a counseling appointment. He said in a couple months. I said no,...

Jim P · Jim P

I'm an atheist and I am comfortable with my beliefs. I have never talked about my beliefs in the group, but I have told them I am an atheist. I probably should never have done that, even in private or just between members outside the meetings. There are members of my group who are not comfortable with my b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Hit the sack at 10 yesterday...got back up at 12:30AM...Just knew that you guys and gals wouldn't mind if I popped in and read and smurfed with you....gonna try the sack again. A Hui Ho...CULater. ((((hugs))))

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Haven't been on here much in the last couple weeks. I didn't want anyone to worry. We have been busy here with the 4-H fair here locally. I am still going to meetings on Monday nights. It is up to me to make sure I make arrangements for my daughter's soccer practice in order to go. My hubbie says " What y...

islandbliss · islandbliss

Hi, I am in a 3 year relationship with a recovering alcoholic that has 14 years sober. I go through a rollercoaster of struggles with him anytime there is a major change in his life such as a new position at work, having to go to school for retraining, or even a new work schedule. I understand that he has t...

Mrs t · Mrs t

In summary my dad has been a heavily/ dependant drinker most of his adult life - however he lives in the USA alone and I am in Uk. Last week he was admitted to hospital he had become ill cause he was not taking his heart and blood pressure medication properly however after 2 days in hospital he started to ex...

Gaby · Gaby

Even though I know my son is bettering himself. I sure do miss him. He has been in rehab for 3 months. But I love him with all my heart and miss him. I do not miss the chaos just my son. So many emotions going through me right now.. Good bad and indifferent. God bless ..

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Had begun the divorce process, AH begged and pleaded to hold off.....my mind did not want to but went along with him anyway (perhaps out of pity for him and lonliness by my part now that I realize).....creating another great cognitive dissonance in my life. He took off 1,800 miles away to recover, then...

neshema2 · neshema2

My study step 4 topic is EXPECTATION b/c I think that is what got me all in a wad of late, re: certain family member My younger sister (1 yr. younger) has worked in mental health till she retired and did research on my condition (anxiety / ptsd) to help me... Anyway, I called her about my post re: Daugther #...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I find a part of life I am having a hard time dealing with is the notion of keeping score. Facebook is not a healthy tool in my recovery it seems. Every time I go on the site I see posts about people younger than I being featured in magazi...

neshema2 · neshema2

some background I adopted my daughter #2 when she was 15....long story and I want to protect her as much as possible, so will leave it at that..both parents were deceased and so enter me, through relatives etc. etc. It has been rocky from the start, I know I tried..In fact I maybe tried TOO hard to "m...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all just wanted to share my experience at the world convention wow!!!! Firstly Vancouver is amazin being around over 3,000 al anons was even more amazing I met some amazing preppie and it gave me so much hope to see the level of recover some have achieved. I went into 1 workshop called living with sobr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Why are some birthdays so eventful? Do we make them that way? Or is the HP in control? I had a good day & then car trouble but the good news is, it was solvable & someone cared enough to give us advice what to do! I am so grateful for Alanon because I didn't freak out at all. I just made a call to an Alanon...

tortuga · tortuga

Yesterday I made a big mistake, because I didn't take enough time to sit and think. Yes I am meditating now, as a new discipline to keep my practice of serenity going, and it works, for me. But yes, I also still have an alcoholic in my life, who is kind of managing his own recovery, his way...which is none o...

WorkingIt4Me · WorkingIt4Me

I am trying to remember to question my motives today but I think I am a little late. ABF is out of town for work and will be returning at some point this afternoon/evening. I have a work meeting to go to in a couple of hours, followed by a Pampered Chef party with one of my coworkers. Instead of going into w...

John · John

Well, I got my physical and blood work done last Friday... today I spoke to the Dr. "Over sensitive thyroid, very dehydrated, coupled with such low numbers for Iron, Potassium, (Protein level not even registering its so low) and a slew of other nutrients, that indicate I am very malnourished. Gluc...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been away now for about 30 days. I have my own well appointed furnished 1bed/1bath home and I am comfortable. I have enrolled in a class to get a real estate license. I have found a part time job (that starts in 2 more weeks). I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decision...

WorkingIt4Me · WorkingIt4Me

Hi everyone! My cousin is interested in attending meetings...her dad is an A in recovery. She is angry and is lost. I would like to take her to a meeting with me but I am not sure that it is appropriate considering that she is 12. She is definitely an "old soul" and could definitely benefit...

neshema2 · neshema2

Saw this and thought of all of us "alanoners" and "Codies"...... Whatever will be will be.....so why worry??? well....That is one reason why I am HERE....

Bettina · Bettina

Today one of the most important people in my life, my X husband, passed away. This morning at 5:38. He is released from his demons and from this mappo world . May all the Buddha's from the 10 directions Posess his body and carry him on his journey into the Cosmos. Even though you caused me the most pain...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone I'm in a thank you God moment. I think it's to good to be true. Just waiting for the ball to drop on my head and I will wake up. I will not get my hopes up yet. My son stopped by this evening. He wanted to let me know he has a place to live, free room and board. 3 squares a day working on a horse ranch fr...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I'm reading codependence and the power of detachment - so far it has helped me in calming my thinking and making sense. One part has hit me hard. " she has learned from alanon she could live her husband and stay with him even though he was not sober, ..." It's talking about walking next to the di...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Help! NEED advice on how to TELL him about divorce (Preview) Hi, your board is so helpful and I have read it for many years for advice. Now I need some serious help. After almost 29 years of lying about his secretive binge drinking, I am done with my husband. I'm ready to divorce him and have seen a lawyer who is drawing up papers right now. I will try to be as fair as pos...	1984Thru	5	341	Jul 31, 2013 by 1984Thru
	a poem by Virginia Wolfe (Preview) "The Beauty of the world has two edges, One of Laughter, One of Anguish, Cutting the heart asunder."	Bettina	5	345	Jul 31, 2013 by orchidlover
	another post to update further. (Preview) I am anxious. I am sad but at least I don't have the problems my mom has now. She filed a complaint against my husband & said she would stop it but didn't she is going further away from the truth & it scares me & my husband too. I hope she gets help. I love her but sometimes like now I don't like her o...	Hoot Nanny	3	198	Jul 31, 2013 by grateful2be
	I'm new to this site.... (Preview) I'm new to this site. I've known about Alanon for a long time but thought it wasn't for me. Well my husband of 28 years,(we've been together since we were 18) just left me 7 weeks ago. Our relationship that produced two boys to be proud of of 17 and 21 came to an end. His father was an alcoholic and so is he...	magazine	8	328	Jul 31, 2013 by magazine
	the GLITCH (Preview) Hi guys John pm'd me re: our "glitch" like when you try to start a new post, it says you don't have permission. John is contacting the Admin. side of the forum to get this fixed, in case any of you are being blocked from starting a new topic Thanks...Yesterday it was on and off, and John got bloc...	neshema2	4	241	Jul 30, 2013 by John
	Book for AH (Preview) Guys, is there a good book to give my AH to read? And what is the best way to give him? Thanks!	Venera	8	537	Jul 30, 2013 by Venera
	short and simple about detachment (Preview) I can so relate to this....This hammers home that I can only change, take care of me....as to accepting or walking away???? Why would I accept constant disrespect....If for some reason I cannot walk away physically, I sure can "cut em off" in my head....detach...walk away in my head, If I...	neshema2	5	415	Jul 30, 2013 by diamond
	Mahalo and ((((Hugs))))... (Preview) I am still working on the ESH you all sent in response to my post...mind, body, spirit and emotions. I'm doing with your mana`o (ESH in Hawaiian) what I've always done...don't react relax and take it slow. I get more from it in time. I already have. Just wanted to say mahalo before going to work. E...	Jerry F	13	399	Jul 30, 2013 by neshema2
	Opposite sex recovery friends (Preview) I don't post much, but I love to come here and read. My husband and I have gone round and round on this subject, and I was hoping for some insight. Do you have boundaries set with opposite sex friends in the program? What are they? Although recovery is about love and support, what I have understood is th...	Breezie	19	4865	Jul 30, 2013 by rehprof
	I just threw everything away (Preview) Well it's Monday morning and I finally decided I should go to work. Don't stay home just because you made a big big mistake. This was a weekend from hell. I let my guard down and was hit right upside the head. I didn't go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor, I quit my counselor and woman's group and I qui...	Cathyinaz	21	583	Jul 30, 2013 by rehprof
	is there a GLITCH???? (Preview) On and off. I get this Message when I try to START a topic..."you don't currently have permission to post on this forum" or words to that affect I can post UNDER an EXISTING post, but cannot start... NOW I can start, but problem is intermittent and maybe global??? b/c on the acoa board it h...	neshema2	4	270	Jul 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	take off on Jerry's Thread (Preview) Reading Jerry's thread, I had a breakthrough..... OMG I cannot believe it....this program is a miracle.... I am reading the various posts about the "forgiveness" word and how giving up the hate/revenge/ill will/resentment, et al, only hurts me... I thought about all this....RE read...	neshema2	5	412	Jul 30, 2013 by 4my2kids
	calling moms. . how to help children (Preview) hi all. you know my story. . mom to a only child who is nine, married 13 yrs to an adm alc but one who doesnt care to change. in steadfastly devoted to staying so i dont have to share custody and so i dont become yet another person in a very long line of people to turn away from my husband. he has no relationships...	Theoceancalls	12	469	Jul 30, 2013 by 4my2kids
	feeling like giving up on him... (Preview) I'm so sick of the lies. And its not just about alcohol. Almost a year ago he gave up chewing tobacco. Recently I've been suspect that he started chewing again. So I ask. Calmly. To his face and lovingly. And I get no.... No ... No and no. So I asked again yesterday because I had proof of spit stains on the ca...	mama2nca	9	538	Jul 30, 2013 by 4my2kids
	The 6 day Journey to Me! (Preview) As Some Know Last week I Took a Trip on my Harley, and Traveled around abit, Not really knowing Where we were Goin, Or What we would see or where we would stay for that matter, I have to say, HP was GOOD! The Storms that were in the Area's we were, was all around us but by the Grace of God! We Stayed Dry, and when w...	Jozie	4	407	Jul 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Trying to Let go and Let God (Preview) So not a simple task at this point, .. I'm angry .. LOL .. what a shock I know. Well, I'm not so much angry as I am disgusted, my compassion tank is not empty .. it's beyond empty. I even went to an AA meeting that I left early only because I didn't have one word that was nice to say at that point. I guess my ange...	Pushka	7	366	Jul 30, 2013 by rehprof
	Relapse And Other Musings (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first post here, and, boy, am I glad to have found this place. :) I've been actively going to Al-anon and ACA for about a year now in order to alleviate a persistent anxiety disorder. I feel like I have come very far in this time, having successfully fought off panic at...	Turris	7	371	Jul 29, 2013 by PP
	Staying on my side of the street (Preview) Hi all. I've been checking in, work as been a bit crazy! I'm so thankful for Al-Anon, for the tools and slogans and having a safe place! So yesterday my AH and stepdaughter and I went to his parents for lunch. My MIL is the adult child of an abusive alcoholic father, she has 2 children, both are A's. I've now...	Jackie11	6	703	Jul 29, 2013 by Jozie
	amazing day today. (Preview) Hey Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon Today was another beautiful day in Southern Ontario. This weekend I was able to catch up on some sleep and I was very well rested. Today I went for a walk on the lake as it was to beautiful to stay indoors. Later, I will prepare some sal...	slogan_jim	8	337	Jul 29, 2013 by Jozie
	Ping Neshema: 'the illness'. (Preview) Hi Rose, and y'all... I wanted to talk about the illness- it came up on another thread but belongs here... to be honest as i cast my eyes across this board- as wave after wave of people come forward with their ESH. It is daunting, and raw... I admire those of you who respond day after day... I talk to stuff w...	DavidG	8	450	Jul 29, 2013 by DavidG
	Mind, Body, Spirit and Emotions... (Preview) my early sponsorship worked me and had me practice understanding the disease and recovery on these levels. My elder sponsor gave me a serious caveat that I took as a warning the first time I heard it...it was said so seriously and I knew work on it was going to be higher learning. "Unless you ar...	Jerry F	12	535	Jul 29, 2013 by neshema2
	Completely Lost Newbie Living with AW newbie living with wine endanger self (Preview) I need a place to vent and to find people who understand. I suspect it is here. I live with a functional alcoholic woman. She's up to 5 bottles of wine a day. I've tried everything. Asking nicely and lovingly for her to stop. Expressing my fears for her health. Arguing. Even talking to her doctor (which se...	Coach7227	9	5117	Jul 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	My cousins 14 year old daughter died today (Preview) Whenever I get back home to California we see each other and catch up and my 15 year old sees her 14 year old second cousin Victoria. Well today I read on facebook from a family member that my cousins were in the Arizona desert riding 4 wheelers, which they often do in the summer and Victoria had an accide...	Breakingfree	20	605	Jul 29, 2013 by Peggy7
	Here with my Son (Preview) I made a big mistake having my son up here this weekend. Usually things go well but this time he is on something. Not alcohol.....think Librium. Just as screwed up in the head anyways. He will get upset very very easy so I'm having to step lightly. I wish I didn't put myself in this situation...dang....	Cathyinaz	31	592	Jul 28, 2013 by FAITH1988
	Real World Suggestions For Strategies to Avoid Obsessing (Preview) As far as I've come in my program, I STILL struggle with this from time to time: unhealthy obsessing about other people, what they're doing, what their choices are, etc. If I was in AA, I would call any one of the dozens of people on my phone tree for real-time support and suggestions for re-focusing my e...	stephaniej	11	326	Jul 29, 2013 by stephaniej
	Alcoholism as a disease (Preview) Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend/colleague that opened my eyes a bit. Her mother was diagnosed two years ago with a serious blood disorder, and during that time the entire family has been deeply affected by the disease. When the diagnosis first came, I remember my friend and I were traveli...	ParisMemories	6	411	Jul 29, 2013 by Jen61
	Help me find patience (Preview) My AH has been very depressed lately. A good friend of his passed away the other day and that along with our marriage issues, I think is bringing him down. I went in to the bedroom to speak to him, just asking how his day was going and asking him if there are any funeral plans yet. He wouldn't even make eye...	ilovedogs	11	372	Jul 28, 2013 by PP
	The epitome of denial brings laughter (Preview) I know I'm chatty lately. I also know this really isn't alcoholism related, but it is related to denial that we talk so much about. I just watched a TV clip on a bank robbery. The bank is full of customers. A man approaches a teller with tree branches duct-taped to his head. Demands money. No custo...	grateful2be	14	463	Jul 28, 2013 by neshema2
	So when are you going to quit? (Preview) My friend asked me and I responded "How do I look"? He took another look and said "You always look good...and healthy" which caused me to smile and reply..."then I can keep on going huh"? He laughed and went away. Today wasn't one of those keep on going days...PT...	Jerry F	16	518	Jul 28, 2013 by FAITH1988
	The nightmares are back (Preview) ... and I guess they aren't going to go away until I take my power back. I'm either being abandoned, banished or terrorized in the dreams. What we don't resolve in daylight haunts us through the night? I don't know. I have so much going on and I feel like I'm dangling from a thin branch sticking out of a...	tiredtonite	6	390	Jul 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	I'm frustrated! (Preview) My alcoholic has been sober for 18 months. He doesn't miss a meeting. He left the house tonight at 5:30 and will attend 3 meetings tonight! However, he can't seem to get motivated to find a job or do chores around the house. When I try to talk to him about our financial situation and that bills are pil...	thistooshallpass	6	290	Jul 28, 2013 by Aloha
	A dream (Preview) As you know, I'm planning on retiring in the new year from a work that was fascinating to me although often incredibly difficult and painful. This year, I am slowly saying goodbye to the people and to the location of the work - both interiorly and exteriorly - when appropriate. Last night I had a dream th...	grateful2be	10	332	Jul 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mr. Bunny (Preview) I was cleaning out my bedroom and ran into an OLD and DEARLY loved friend!!! His name is Mr. Bunny....Here is his story... I was 15 and walking down this path at the Cape Cod, Massachusetts summer home we had and i found this UGLY bunny rabbit...he was BUTT ugly.. head was not ripped off but wobbly, dirt...	neshema2	3	262	Jul 28, 2013 by hotrod
	MY LETTER TO MY SON I HAVE TO READ TO HIM NEXT WEEK (Preview) Letter to ALCOHOLIC SON ~ a draft any suggestions are welcome first and foremost I want you to know I love you very much. I do hope one day you know how deeply a parents love is for their child. How did we get here, how much pain has been suffered in 6 years. Since you have been getting help I learned that you we...	FAITH1988	26	488	Jul 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	update on myself and prayers for my AM please (Preview) hi everyone! I haven't been on here in quite a while due to working a lot and taking a summer Statistics class for the second time. It's challenging but I'm understanding the material much better. Work has been a bit of a challenge as of late... I'm learning the importance of time management. It's a bit f...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	184	Jul 27, 2013 by neshema2
	getting whole again! (Preview) Hopefully wholeness will come sooner than later! I am excited about getting it together again. I am making it through summer w/o any more incidents. It is a warm but wonderful day. Anything is possible. My husband is mellowing out about my mother. He decided that we should forgive those that trespass...	Hoot Nanny	4	230	Jul 27, 2013 by hotrod
	Dealing with Friends and Family (Preview) I have been struggling with the issue of what to say to friends and family lately. My AH and I have been married for 20 years. It has taken most of that time to understand that he is, and has been for all of that time, a highly functional alcoholic. We separated 6 months ago, with AH still denying that his...	norasq	13	459	Jul 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	STEP 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54478468/alanon-step-9/	hotrod	0	194	Jul 27, 2013 by hotrod
	Where is the Serenity? (Preview) I can't seem to find it. Yesterday was the date I moved out two months ago from my husband. I have never felt so low. I have never felt so sad. We talk maybe twice a month. He says he wants to fix it, and then does nothing to fix it. I told him to make a counseling appointment. He said in a couple months. I said no,...	Blanche	13	418	Jul 26, 2013 by grateful2be
	atheist in Al Anon (Preview) I'm an atheist and I am comfortable with my beliefs. I have never talked about my beliefs in the group, but I have told them I am an atheist. I probably should never have done that, even in private or just between members outside the meetings. There are members of my group who are not comfortable with my b...	Jim P	11	2959	Jul 26, 2013 by neshema2
	1:30 AM... (Preview) Hit the sack at 10 yesterday...got back up at 12:30AM...Just knew that you guys and gals wouldn't mind if I popped in and read and smurfed with you....gonna try the sack again. A Hui Ho...CULater. ((((hugs))))	Jerry F	7	312	Jul 27, 2013 by neshema2
	update on Nancymom (Preview) Haven't been on here much in the last couple weeks. I didn't want anyone to worry. We have been busy here with the 4-H fair here locally. I am still going to meetings on Monday nights. It is up to me to make sure I make arrangements for my daughter's soccer practice in order to go. My hubbie says " What y...	nancymom4	3	191	Jul 27, 2013 by neshema2
	The Rollercoaster (Preview) Hi, I am in a 3 year relationship with a recovering alcoholic that has 14 years sober. I go through a rollercoaster of struggles with him anytime there is a major change in his life such as a new position at work, having to go to school for retraining, or even a new work schedule. I understand that he has t...	islandbliss	3	362	Jul 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	Best way to help/ support my dad - am desperate (Preview) In summary my dad has been a heavily/ dependant drinker most of his adult life - however he lives in the USA alone and I am in Uk. Last week he was admitted to hospital he had become ill cause he was not taking his heart and blood pressure medication properly however after 2 days in hospital he started to ex...	Mrs t	18	462	Jul 26, 2013 by grateful2be
	Missing my son.. (Preview) Even though I know my son is bettering himself. I sure do miss him. He has been in rehab for 3 months. But I love him with all my heart and miss him. I do not miss the chaos just my son. So many emotions going through me right now.. Good bad and indifferent. God bless ..	Gaby	7	266	Jul 26, 2013 by Gaby
	6th fall and up again; time for renewal (Preview) Had begun the divorce process, AH begged and pleaded to hold off.....my mind did not want to but went along with him anyway (perhaps out of pity for him and lonliness by my part now that I realize).....creating another great cognitive dissonance in my life. He took off 1,800 miles away to recover, then...	RoseODAT	9	464	Jul 26, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Expectations (Preview) My study step 4 topic is EXPECTATION b/c I think that is what got me all in a wad of late, re: certain family member My younger sister (1 yr. younger) has worked in mental health till she retired and did research on my condition (anxiety / ptsd) to help me... Anyway, I called her about my post re: Daugther #...	neshema2	2	263	Jul 26, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Keeping score (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I find a part of life I am having a hard time dealing with is the notion of keeping score. Facebook is not a healthy tool in my recovery it seems. Every time I go on the site I see posts about people younger than I being featured in magazi...	slogan_jim	9	412	Jul 26, 2013 by Breakingfree
	HARD to just let go (Preview) some background I adopted my daughter #2 when she was 15....long story and I want to protect her as much as possible, so will leave it at that..both parents were deceased and so enter me, through relatives etc. etc. It has been rocky from the start, I know I tried..In fact I maybe tried TOO hard to "m...	neshema2	4	410	Jul 26, 2013 by neshema2
	Esh from convention xxx (Preview) Hi all just wanted to share my experience at the world convention wow!!!! Firstly Vancouver is amazin being around over 3,000 al anons was even more amazing I met some amazing preppie and it gave me so much hope to see the level of recover some have achieved. I went into 1 workshop called living with sobr...	Tracy	6	372	Jul 26, 2013 by PP
	another eventful bday! (Preview) Why are some birthdays so eventful? Do we make them that way? Or is the HP in control? I had a good day & then car trouble but the good news is, it was solvable & someone cared enough to give us advice what to do! I am so grateful for Alanon because I didn't freak out at all. I just made a call to an Alanon...	Hoot Nanny	2	151	Jul 26, 2013 by PP
	the mistake of ENABLING (Preview) Yesterday I made a big mistake, because I didn't take enough time to sit and think. Yes I am meditating now, as a new discipline to keep my practice of serenity going, and it works, for me. But yes, I also still have an alcoholic in my life, who is kind of managing his own recovery, his way...which is none o...	tortuga	7	479	Jul 26, 2013 by tortuga
	struggling with motives (Preview) I am trying to remember to question my motives today but I think I am a little late. ABF is out of town for work and will be returning at some point this afternoon/evening. I have a work meeting to go to in a couple of hours, followed by a Pampered Chef party with one of my coworkers. Instead of going into w...	WorkingIt4Me	11	471	Jul 26, 2013 by pinkchip
	Medical Report... (Preview) Well, I got my physical and blood work done last Friday... today I spoke to the Dr. "Over sensitive thyroid, very dehydrated, coupled with such low numbers for Iron, Potassium, (Protein level not even registering its so low) and a slew of other nutrients, that indicate I am very malnourished. Gluc...	John	17	482	Jul 26, 2013 by Rocky38
	Deciding when it is okay to go back. (Preview) I have been away now for about 30 days. I have my own well appointed furnished 1bed/1bath home and I am comfortable. I have enrolled in a class to get a real estate license. I have found a part time job (that starts in 2 more weeks). I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decision...	sadsusie	12	445	Jul 26, 2013 by grateful2be
	Alanon/Alateen Meeting Question (Preview) Hi everyone! My cousin is interested in attending meetings...her dad is an A in recovery. She is angry and is lost. I would like to take her to a meeting with me but I am not sure that it is appropriate considering that she is 12. She is definitely an "old soul" and could definitely benefit...	WorkingIt4Me	6	275	Jul 26, 2013 by DavidG
	For all of us worriers (Preview) Saw this and thought of all of us "alanoners" and "Codies"...... Whatever will be will be.....so why worry??? well....That is one reason why I am HERE....	neshema2	2	215	Jul 25, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	A day of release (Preview) Today one of the most important people in my life, my X husband, passed away. This morning at 5:38. He is released from his demons and from this mappo world . May all the Buddha's from the 10 directions Posess his body and carry him on his journey into the Cosmos. Even though you caused me the most pain...	Bettina	19	500	Jul 25, 2013 by Jerry F
	Has HP answered my prayers (Preview) Hi everyone I'm in a thank you God moment. I think it's to good to be true. Just waiting for the ball to drop on my head and I will wake up. I will not get my hopes up yet. My son stopped by this evening. He wanted to let me know he has a place to live, free room and board. 3 squares a day working on a horse ranch fr...	Cathyinaz	30	677	Jul 25, 2013 by Jerry F
	Book worth reading for me (Preview) I'm reading codependence and the power of detachment - so far it has helped me in calming my thinking and making sense. One part has hit me hard. " she has learned from alanon she could live her husband and stay with him even though he was not sober, ..." It's talking about walking next to the di...	sweeetr	5	325	Jul 25, 2013 by Theoceancalls
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.