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Hi all. I've been checking in, work as been a bit crazy!
I'm so thankful for Al-Anon, for the tools and slogans and having a safe place!
So yesterday my AH and stepdaughter and I went to his parents for lunch. My MIL is the adult child of an abusive alcoholic father, she has 2 children, both are A's. I've now been a part of this family for just over 2 years.
He has a cold and feels terrible and my MIL wanted to know what he'd taken and told him he needed to take tylenol, and gave him 2 and told me that he had taken them at such and such a time and to make sure that he takes more. I didn't say it but in my head I'm thinking, he's a grown up, he can take the tylenol if he wants to or not, but that is his choice to make.
A little while later she and I were cleaning up the kitchen and something came up about my stepdaughters mom, she said have you gotten to know her a little bit better now and how crazy she is. My MIL and my SIL both don't like my stepdaughters mom. I'm trying to find the right time and place to say that no matter what your feelings regarding this individual she is doing her best. I've said it to my SIL but with my MIL I know I need to find a good time to address it as it pertains to me. Yesterday I just changed the subject.
I look at my SIL and I have to watch the judgments, it's so easy to be judgmental.
It's such a family disease. I'm trying to keep to my side of the street, even though I sometimes want to tell my MIL what to do the same way that she tries to tell us what to do. Then I remember that I don't walk in her shoes, and I take a deep breath.
Some days are easier than others. Currently the whole family situation is just feeling a bit much.
You are working a great program, I used to let my in-laws judgments and opinions become mine and I fell right into the family disease. Good on you for sticking to your side of the street and not having to feel superior. You have inspired me and although it is hard you did it! Awesome program and keep up the good work! Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
What a beautiful share and example of staying on our side of the street. I really appreciate it. I have to go to court today due to a purse snatching incident that happened at my expense several months ago. Stay on my side of the street is such a good message for me to read today.
Looks like good application of program to me...sticking to your side of the street, not getting sucked into the vortex of dysfunction....
I would say that is progress...good progess.....please keep working your program the more , I notice, anyway, that I work it, the better adn easier I can stand firm in taking care of me.......Nice share
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Job well Done, You are working a Great Program, and your Growth shows thru, I Know what you mean about Being Sucked in... For Me It my FOO Family that has the Judgements of EVERYONE & EVERYTHING, yet their life could def use some Polishing had they stopped Judging others...
A Dear Program Friend of mine once said that when i get in those Sticky Situations I SHould "Vote with My Feet!" Took awhile for that To Sink, but ONce I Realized I was Sitting in a Room of Judgemental People, (My Family) I Always had the Choice to Leave the Room! And I DO! I Don't say a Word, I just Walk outside for a minute, or Go to Another Room, and Believe it or not, alot of times Now, They don't bring the Judgement Statements My Way... I have Know Doubt they Continue to do it, to Me Even, but At Least Now I'm Not apart of their insanity, and if I Feel I'm Getting Drug Back, "I Vote with My Feet" Once more!
AGAIN... Wonderful Recovery, You are Doing Great :) KEEP COMING BACK...