The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first post here, and, boy, am I glad to have found this place. :)
I've been actively going to Al-anon and ACA for about a year now in order to alleviate a persistent anxiety disorder. I feel like I have come very far in this
time, having successfully fought off panic attacks for about a year now, until last Thursday. I was on a three week vacation with no access to Al-anon during that
time, and I'm really disappointed by how my mental health regressed in that time. I came back from holiday on Saturday morning and went straight to a meeting,
but I still feel on edge, and I guess I have to attend another meeting today. I'm even considering the online meetings, which I briefly read about on the forum.
I hate it when I get to this stage where I find leaving the house enormously stressful and become agitated and anxious. My panic attacks are often triggered in
public places where I can't get out, such as public transportation, movies, restaurants etc. I know that it's not such a big deal, really, and I have no reason to be
so ashamed of them, but I find the idea of what people think more horrifying than the attacks themselves.
My father is an ex-alcoholic, though he's been in AA for almost 24 years now, and a little over a year ago, when my symptoms started, I found out my mother is a
gambling addict. Although regularly going to meetings, I still find it difficult to accept that there's nothing I can do to change the people around me or make them
change themselves. I struggle quite a bit with the concept of the Higher Power, resenting the knowledge that there are things I cannot control. I find my family
relations the most difficult, and have become quite estranged from my mother ever since she dropped out from her gamblers anonymous meetings.
Thanks for this forum and my warmest greetings to all of you! :)
I too am glad that you found Miracles in Progress and shared . I find that panic and anxiety were my "go to destructive tools" that I used before I worked the steps in alanon and found a better way .
So glad that you are attending meetings and although the First Step is the hardest it is so true. I found being powerless over people, places and things as the First Step suggests enabled me to take my power back and use it to help myself. It set me free
I know your feelings all too well, but at least you are here. Warm welcomes***
What helps with me is to keep it "extra" simple when I find myself there.
We all cope very differently but I'll share with you how I cope.
I try to go to very relaxing places....I love libraries, coffee shops, being in nature, or just for a walk, or write....
Luckily I've been fortunate to see a psych/counselor for free when other things are not enough.
I try to stay close to home as too much transporting irritates me at times.
As far as "control" goes.....I go to that saying....."learn to deal with the cards one is dealt with"....and realize that from there and on, I have choices.
Detatchment is ok if it is for the sake of your health.......
Working with a sponsor and especially on the fourth step has helped me with control. I'm also all up for detachment from people at times, especially if it affects my health. It does not mean I don't love them. It means I love them enough to give them their space and my space, not putting myself or them in a position I might later regret. I can also let them know from afar I love them in my own way.
I have anxiety, too and I had to get on meds.....when I had the ptsd breakdown, the docs said there was just a lot of chemical and electrical damage to my brain from sustained and severe trauma
it does help to have changed my diet, no processed foods, organic, no "white products" lots of water, breathing, self talk, meditation, working my program, but I guess w/me there is too much damage...
Sometimes I feel like I don't need m y meds as much and other times I have to take full recommended dosage...I always try to take less rather than more
I hate it...anyone who can overcome panic and anxiety are very very fortunate....I have done and am doing all i can to help mine and Its an up and own struggle....it seems the ptsd is not quite as bad, but i still get sick w/it....
I work my program, cut out stressors., cut out people who cause me stress..I have quit jobs that were too much stress.....I just do all I can to take care of me, I pick my battles and walk away from the rest of the crap....
I do exercise to produce feel good hormones...U name it I do it or did it.....i still need my meds....
I am glad u r here and the best hope is this program....I don't think I am going to entirely "come back" but I can at least manage or lesson my suffering by sticking w/my program....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Aloha Turris and welcome to the board also...Tools? Do you have Al-Anon literature? The daily readers have indexes that when used subjectively give you a great concentration of alternatives to what you're going thru that is causing problems. We didn't cause it, Can't control it and won't cure it. ((((hugs))))
Let's call it that!