The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love all the suggestions. I also found that nothing beats, practicing the Steps, Meetings, a Sponsor and repeating the slogans over and over. It works everytime for me
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 28th of July 2013 04:16:44 PM
As far as I've come in my program, I STILL struggle with this from time to time: unhealthy obsessing about other people, what they're doing, what their choices are, etc. If I was in AA, I would call any one of the dozens of people on my phone tree for real-time support and suggestions for re-focusing my energy so i don't make bad decisions in the stress of the moment. But I'm not in AA, and my list of Al Anon folks is very short, and I can't always reach someone in the stress of the moment.
So...what kinds of things do you do to occupy your mind and refocus your energy when you feel yourself slipping in your own recovery?
What pushes me best is the memory of how sick I got before I got into Al-Anon with the awareness that relapse does mean that I get to go back double in spades because the disease is progressive. I like the practice of doing something different continually for 90 days so that I can build new workable and acceptable habits. Obsessing is a habit to the max and it can be replaced. Keep coming back. (((hugs)))
. But I'm not in AA, and my list of Al Anon folks is very short, and I can't always reach someone in the stress of the moment.
So...what kinds of things do you do to occupy your mind and refocus your energy when you feel yourself slipping in your own recovery?
I get into a meeting and straighten me out there...after meets there are chat sessions and I hang around if I am slipping...I call a trusted friend, luckily for me I have a decent support system w/ long term friendships, 2 in recovery, and my FEW family members I can talk to, or just come here and blast away w/my problem and hope for some ESH, but I don't stick all my eggs in one basket
I might post here and get 1 response......it just happens.....so I go to other sources for support....whatever works.....but I do more than just post on here and put all my eggs here, thats not fair to the group...so I go everywhere I need to go to get the support/ESH that I need....I may have an issue and do many things....post here......then move on to a meet.......pick up the phone and call someone.............OR, if I am striking out for the moment b/c folks are busy, I take a walk.....play with my dogs.....get into nature......soak in the tub..........Meditate.............I do all I need to do to get back on track.....
I hope this helped.......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
As I went through the 12 steps using AAs Big Book I learned to start taking more and more pain and fear to God.
I stopped leaning on others. It is my Solution almost fully now to take it to grelations to be actively engaged in my own work though, writing every day etc.
it was a very sslow process.
ultimately God wants us to go directly to Him with everything.
Oh what a good topic! I had a bad time with this for a long time.
I got better by first wanting to be rid of it. I had to be willing to find out what I got out of going over the same rut continuously. Was it perversely comforting to me? It certainly was familiar. Was I willing to let ______ off the hook if I didn't think about the event or situation? What was my part in events leading to the unsatisfactory situation that lived in my need?
My suffering was raining on the sunshine otherwise in my day, and I finally asked my higher power to make me willing to get rid of it. Then I asked my higher power to help me quit going down the rabbit hole.
It didn't take long after that when I noticed I hadn't been contaminated by my obsession. What a relief!
Occasionally it still starts to trot between my ears, but I recognize it and banish it. My serenity is incompatible with that.
Meditation, which helps to clear the mind , then you begin to master your thoughts. And of course
Music, Music is a healer, and books , great conversations about different subjects. I still have my trusty ODAT
book. Whenever I get a negative thought, I stop it and do these things Ive named.
You can start thinking differently from this moment, every moment is a new beginning.
I ask myself the question: Whose business am I in? God's business? Others' business? My own business? When its not my business, I just focus on what is my business at the time like driving my car, walking from one room to another, reading my book, typing on this board. And I don't do this perfectly and I'm still practicing it. Once I'm back in my business, I'm in good shape. If I'm not in good shape, I do what I can to care for myself even if that means going to the grocery just to get out and among others.
I ask myself the question: Whose business am I in? God's business? Others' business? My own business? When its not my business, I just focus on what is my business at the time like driving my car, walking from one room to another, reading my book, typing on this board. And I don't do this perfectly and I'm still practicing it. Once I'm back in my business, I'm in good shape. If I'm not in good shape, I do what I can to care for myself even if that means going to the grocery just to get out and among others.
I like that...."whose business am I in"............course sometimes I don't like my business, LOL....so I do what Bettina suggested on one of her fixes....MUSIC.....its not really gr8 pool weather so I am gonna do dances to my music.......I love that....its like meditation to me, listening to the song, the rythem , the beat.....oh yea, gonna do some dance to my music.......
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I had to make it a conscious effort where I actually talk to myself and ask, "What am I really getting out of this? Will the outcome be worth it and does God want me to do this?" Then, I usually go clean something or come on the boards or leave the house or go for a walk, etc. I basically just get up and 'do' and that helps break the obsessing. Don't get me wrong, I obsess A LOT but I've noticed that the longer I'm in program, the easier it is for me to get out of the damaging thinking.
If I can't get to a meeting or can't reach an Alanon friend sometimes just texting it out to my sponsor helps. There is also the serenity prayer. If I am in a place that I can say what can I actually control in this situation and what can I give to hp it reminds me I'm powerless not helpless in the situation. Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks so much everyone! I'm making a list of practical suggestions that I am actually going to hang up on my closet door at home, and carry with me in my purse, so I appreciate everyone's input!
