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I'm trying to clean up 5 fires that STBAX has left me to deal with .. his attitude has always been .. fire what fire (to the pretend fireman in my head) go to the other house as ours is burning to the ground and I'm running around shouting fire fire fire! LOL.
It's a mess and I'm in fix it mode. This is where I have a difficult time drawing a boundary in these situations .. if I don't fix this .. the kids can't go to school and I do mean even public school as there is a balance owed at their current school that because I was told the divorce would be final by the end of summer. I've been putting that bill off and now it has to be paid. Plus there is the issue of enrolling the kids. He has promised and promised them that they would attend this school. My daughter is going into high school. I'm not delusional in terms of ohhhh .. of course our lifestyle will stay the same after divorce .. I'll be danged if I'm going to wind up looking like the bad guy AND enabling him at the same time. Something that would help is if he would pay the child support he owes in a timely manner which of course he doesn't. I'm furious to say the least that once again .. here is the situation I sit in he benefits as I ask for help there is something soooo wrong with that it's not funny.
So this is part of my list to deal with today. I have to file paperwork to make sure new charges are attached to the old charges. His atty needs to get a copy today so that it can be included in the hearing of the 8th. What is in my favor on the paperwork is pretty much an open and shut case. I'm sooo grateful for that big time. I have the option to delay. It's like I told the woman yesterday .. my personal opinion is that the atty's are the ones who have made the situation soooo much worse .. had it not taken this long I wouldn't have been in that office. Maybe I would have .. chances were less that I would have because we all would have had an opportunity to move on. Really .. my feeling is he would have been in jail for different reasons. The reality is that the kids and I would be out of the mix. He would be making his own mess and leaving us out of it.
Because of all of the footwork I did yesterday I will have an easier time going forward .. it's all about the wording. It's up to the judge really and here's hoping the judge sees the situation as it is and not what my STBAX will try and present. I'm really disgusted by the fact that none of this helps the criminal for lack of a better term or the families. One of the option is that he go for counseling and substance abuse stuff .. umm .. we've been there and done that .. it didn't help in fact it made things worse instead of better he just learned how to manipulate the system more. I did state my frustration with the situation.
I am making an appointment hopefully for today to workout something for the kids schooling.
I've got more bills than money as I'm trying to play catch up .. ugh. So hoping that I can talk to my church about some kind of assistance.
It's been an awful situation for the kids and I to say the least. It's not all bad either and I have to remember that part of the deal. The kids considering everything are doing ok. We had a fun night last night. I made meatloaf and we played Sorry .. laughed a lot and just really kind of carried on about misc stuff.
Today .. today is getting more done and I've called into work to get more done at this point. I need uninterrupted time to finish things up and not be checking the clock constantly.
Sooo off I go again back to the court house and grocery shopping ohhh the fun of it all.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hi, P. Thanks for the share. Lots of stuff to work through for you. Glad you're keeping your sense of humor and finding time to play with your kids, too. I struggled with more bills than I had money to pay, too, and walked through as many doors as HP opened for me to help up survive the financial hardships that come with alcoholism's progression. Much as I don't want to return to that time in my life, it was also a time where I got to see HP at work in what I consider to be miraculous ways. I couldn't lie in bed waiting for an angel to show up at my front door with a big cashier's check for me to pay the bills, but I was graced with so many beautiful surprises that I knew no human being could have manufactured on their own.
To me - although I didn't have a human partner there to help me carry the load, I sure had an HP that could do a much better job of it Who didn't call me names or hit me either. In doing the footwork, I gained confidence and strength. In turning over the part I couldn't do, I gained knowledge of a power greater than me who wanted to help me survive and later thrive. Much support for you as you carry on and are carried on.
Sounds rough Pushka and all I can say is keep your head up! You have inspired me in the way you have handled all that has come your way. Sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Well, I'm in hurry up and wait mode. I am completely disgusted with my atty's office at the moment and I had a few words with her secretary who I think is actually responsible for a BUNCH of mess going on. I will be emailing my atty privately or meeting with her when she gets back. This is not ok .. first it was it's his atty's fault which I'm sure as the king of delays some of it is his fault .. he wasn't holding up the band wagon SHE was .. she then turned and tried to blame me .. SERIOUSLY? Does she really not remember who she is dealing with? I save EVERYTHING .. I do mean I have piles of paper on tables at the moment trying to sort through all this stuff PLUS I have emails that are over 3 years old that I hold on to .. ANYTHING that has ANYTHING to do with this particular case. When Miss Thang realized that I had documented proof of her not doing her job .. there was major action taken .. what good it will do is hard telling. Even she looked at the paperwork and went .. umm .. this is kind of crap .. me thinking .. you think?! I have an offer and at least that is a start. UGH!
She made a comment about the King of Delays making a motion to delay for the OP .. I laughed and said .. yup .. I know. It's because of the pending charges of his arrest. I should be able to get the OP extended to the kids. We will see how all that works out. I may have to go back to court and take out a separate OP for them. I just have to find that information out at this point. So the OP could last as long as the divorce .. lol .. there is the obvious trend at this point. I'll be pointing that out. I have to work on what I need to say in front of the judge though. LOL .. what I want to say is very very barbed what I should say is a different story. So I'm allowing full fantasy to fly in terms of what I want to say and practice what I should say and figure it will be somewhere in the middle.
School has not been dealt with .. yet .. sending an email and seeing what I can do about appointments and such .. they won't be registered tomorrow unfortunately.
I really feel an immense amount of dislike towards that man at the moment.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
