Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

oldergal · oldergal

I thought about it and I am sure I love my children unconditionally. Although I find it hard to love anyone else unconditionally....even my family sometimes... I am not sure if there is a universal understanding of this type of love.....what do you think. "Unconditional" sounds pretty s...

John · John

daisy31 · daisy31

Am I the only one who is looking forward to their kids going back to school? I have been trying to work my program this summer but it has been SO hard to gain peace with having 2 boys at home all the time. One of my sons is special needs and demands attention all the time and I constantly have to keep an eye on hi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just got in from business part of which was (secretly) nurturing the child still within. There's not much child there because of the program and so I used a proxy and didn't tell him. There was this little guy in my garden this morning by himself, nice and quiet and still being a par...

John · John

Boy meets girl on AA campus is a analogy in the AA Big Book, which points out that rarely does early recovery love relationships work out... here is why, I call it my version of Step 13. Boy; "She looked at me from across the hallway before the meetings started, I think she wants my body!" Friend; "have you...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I am in a point in my life where I need to practice much awareness of my thoughts and behaviours, because I feel that both are related.Since my fathers second dui, I have been carrying around a lot of anger, resentment and bitteness...

sweeetr · sweeetr

...... I tend to have to laugh at my life at times ..almost thinking I am my HP's comedy show, or sitcom having said that first, I heard a song called "I dont like 1/2 the folks I love" when I heard that song...the lyrics are so true in my life ..I wrote a few just becasue i connect with them and want...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I feel it in my soul... I do good (real good) with me .. then lately ??? I feel the old "junk" about why?? and trying to understand why his choices are what they are .. I know his choices are his.. I know to worry about my own business... I KNOW all this .. I try not to think our family is second t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I hope this makes sense. I am dealing w/ a lot of anxiety & confusion right now. I have been to see my mom. I saw her on Sat. She seems better but is still way out there. I am very nervous about her condition. I have to keep living one day at a time today. I want to project on to the future as I am nervous again a...

Jenn86 · Jenn86

I am planning on leaving my ABF and moving far away by the end of the year. Right now we are living in Mexico but because I have to move back to the US and become financially independent I have to save up some money. I've tried to break up with him twice before and somehow I just get sucked in. I'm tired of de...

blondie99 · blondie99

Hello dear MIP brothers and sisters...it's been so long since I've had a chance to visit or write. I've missed you. XAH and I have not had any communication since the beginning of July, when we were working out some of the details of the divorce decree. I am relieved that the only thing left is to take the q...

tortuga · tortuga

the fear that things will never change. even though I'm aware of many of my mistakes and faults, and even though I've worked through the steps again and again, and even though I have had good days full of hope lately, I'm back at point 0, and sometimes deeper. I feel exhausted again, trying to keep mysel...

neshema2 · neshema2

one topic my AA partner and I discussed is BALANCE...... today I wrote down...a "typical" day for me and lately, writing down how long I am taking to do such and such I then made a list, negotiable , of course if something special arises, but a basic list of *reasonable* time I need to spend on...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I'm back to work and I DON"T want to be here. After 5 days off and I want to retire...hehe I wish! I cleaned my house, did some yard work, started to put up my new lighting outside, went gambling, had my toes and nails done, went shopping and was lazy. Was able to spend some quality time with...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I have not been on here in awhile. I posted last that I had broken up with my boyfriend a month ago, and only saw him 2x for aa meetings to accompany him. Two weeks ago he got black out drunk at a girl's apartment we have had major trust issues with in the past, and he actually scared her in his blackout and then...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I'd like to know what you ladies & gents think about my being here, and my situation. I feel like a fraud (again, like I did 15 years ago with my first try at Al-Anon). I absolutely love this board. It has been a life- and sanity-saver for me. I learned codependent behavior from my Mother in my childhoo...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, I mentioned the other day that my dad got his second dui and I was in a place of fear and loneliness. I saw my dad today and he was in a good place. So was I. He seems to be taking responsibility for his actions. He apologized to me and my sister and re-iterated he is going to sell his car and start t...

PP · PP

I am finishing an online course titled "Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps" and wanted to share this quote: "With these twelve important breathing lessons, you now know for yourself that you can breathe, and even under water. Because the breath of God( or yo...

Jack3126 · Jack3126

I read with interest the account of "James" family being destroyed through AA's infliction into his wife's life. I have had the exact experience. I am happy beyond description that my wife quit drinking. She certainly would have met with a disastrous ending However, she has become a com...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to say even though it sounds like I might be off my rocker at times, I do speak to my sponsor & Al anon friends almost daily either by text, email or phone. I have been reading Al anon literature daily & some times it even makes sense to me. I am just working on getting some sanity back. FYI...

cms1122 · cms1122

Hello all...this is my first time posting here..I'm somewhat familiar with forums but this particular one is brand new for me. Al-Anon is not new to me (my ODAT book is dated 1972...haha)....but the season of my life that I find myself in requires a BIG return to Al-Anon principals...lol So, I have re...

neshema2 · neshema2

I saw this today and it actually brought up some compassion from me to ME...Yea..I actually said to myself "ok, we didn't know it then... The cruel assessments of me I bought, but no more...I will work my inventory, thank you" I felt a sense of sadness that I didn't see it for all those decade...

neshema2 · neshema2

I said on my post that I was gonna wait to get back in harness (read, and post) , but I saw sooo many "need to read/respond to" posts that I could not resist.. First, I would like to say Welcome to the new comers...U came to the right place... Recovery can be hard..Sad...But nothing worthwhile...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hello, everyone. Just wanted to let you all know that I will not be around much. I'll probably come on and check for private messages every so often, though. I have come to realize that I'm not growing. I'm obviously not working my program very well. I'm stuck and I'm choosing to stay there because...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I called my son tonight at our usual time. Haven't talked with him since a few days after his surgery. He was pleasant and watching a pre-season football game. He didn't want to talk with me long. He was happy watching his game. I loved it. I did what I wanted to do. Check in with him. He did what he w...

Stevens · Stevens

Hello. My name is Stephanie, and my husband is an alcoholic.... thought I would use the old stand by intro! My attempt at levity. We have been married four years. I always knew he drank a lot. I should, of course, have seen the signs. But I ignored them, and my inner voice. He is trying to stay sober now...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey all just stopping in to update Had a REAL good work w/AA friend/coo-sponsor on my step 4.....I had to go on R&R to do this and feel the pain of yet more Crap to clean up on me....I discovered that (no surprise) that I am still fear based..especially my needs being met and my AA friend and I went over...

debhud · debhud

Hi all, I am having trouble with my relationship with my parents who are enablers to my AS. They choose to pay all of his bills and watch his son because he is too hung over to watch him. He is addicted to alcohol and they are addicted to him. I on the other hand try to stay on course with my alanon principl...

Bettina · Bettina

"Time is constantly passing, one moment following fast upon the other. That's why its so important to press forward boldly,without complaining or fretting. The person who looks to the future and keeps moving ahead is eternally youthful. Such a person's heart is filled with flowers and shin...

Pushka · Pushka

Boy am I a slow learner and a fast forgetter! I have had a couple of humbling lessons in the God of my understanding giving me what I need vs what I want .. that's ok. I'm having a clearer picture that the Pushka plan isn't what it needs to be .. I don't necessarily like it .. I do have to come to accept it's n...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am sharing my story tomorrow in the afternoon of the convention with AA and al anon present. It will be the first time my partner (sober ABF) has heard my story. The theme is hope and sobriety, today we have sobriety in our home life is not perfect but so much better. It is thanks to both fellowsh...

Bettina · Bettina

"True Ease and comfort are not found in a quiet,uneventful life. This may sound paradoxical, but hardships bring about ease and comfort. For only by establising strong individual lives capable of boldly challenging difficult obstacles can we find true Peace and security in this lifetime....

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I can't take anymore. Do I have to take abuse? What do you do when you work and make too much for help, yet not enough to even pay house and ulities. I have serious health issues too. I'm 3 years from retirement and I have to keep my health insurance? I have faith in God but I have to be realistic too.

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

It seems the better I get at detaching from my A/A's (daughter and her son), I feel spiritually disconnected from them, I know I still love them, but I mostly feel sadness/fear when I think of them, sad because of their bad choices/circumstances they are in and fear they will try to con/manipulate me in...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

This evening- as my AB was getting himself good and drunk in celebration of it being Friday, he mentioned to me that a house we had previously looked at was up for rent again, and that he would like to take another look at it. Then he grew serious and said "I have a concern though. The house has a lot of s...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-My life got so hectic and busy and I have felt pressure from work, 90 yr old mom, son and spouse issues, etc., etc., etc. However, I have missed the board and hopefully can get back to checking in as I used to. Each day I couldn't get here I wondered howall wondered how everyone was doing and I wanted t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was at my physical therapy session and had the early good fortune of almost being one on one with my therapist which was cool. She is a young doctor and good at what she does and I was expressing honest gratitude. Over a bit of time others started to come into the place and I went from massage table to e...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me. I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning. A woman is lost...

DavidG · DavidG

I was at an AA open meeting a month or two ago. After the meeting I was talking to a younger member. She said that when she got a few things sorted out in AA she would like to come along to Alanon. I turned to her, and smiled. I said, as far as I was concerned, if you are sober on the day, you are welcome. It is mayb...

rehprof · rehprof

the exA is at a family cottage on a lake for a week. the 11 yo and 16 yo boys are with him. One of the 11 yo's friends couldn't come with him bc his mom is not comfortable with the exA. When my son left at the beginning of the week, it was okay bc another friend would be able to come visit on thurs. I don't know wha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am learning to face reality head on especially now that my mom is in the hospital & I am powerless over what happens to her from here. My hands are tied. My husband is her contact person not me. She chose him over me which I am finally getting over after less than a week. I am still at this point not talki...

neshema2 · neshema2

My issues, right now, are not alanon related....Its this financial fear, inability to find more income, depression and fighting off this financial fear.... Sadness and grief and yea, anger how my life could be taken from me and I kick myself for not knowing about alanon, coda till so late in my life...

John · John

Melly1248 · Melly1248

<- love this one, it's just perfect for today. What a night/morning. 'Scuse me posting a bit but it's really helping me stay focused to speak this stuff "out loud" and make myself face it. It's all much less confusing and stressful when I share it here because there's a clear path that I ne...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

So, first f2f meeting tomorrow at 1pm. I live in an extremely small town. There's one daytime and one night-time meeting per week. What if the people there don't like me? What if there is someone there from my daughter's school? One of the other parents? A teacher? What if someone sees me go in? The dog wo...

SunnySkies · SunnySkies

One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consi...

big dave · big dave

First timer on this forum. I am struggling with going down the same road again. Mom is reporting how good she is doing and asking for "another chance" but the last time I vowed not to deal with this ever again.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: In addition to checking in here for ESH several times a day, I have also been reading posts that I have started to pay attention to the progression of where I was when I came here at the start of 2012, and where I am today.. It has been helpful to see that I started as desperate, angry, bitter r...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, I am typing from my phone. My father texted me to advise that last night he got his second DUI. He didn't go into specifics but my sister, who lives with him, called to tell me. My dad texted me saying 'I **** up and got my 2nd dui. I am going to lose everything.' I am oddly serene about this. Feels...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Today I'm grateful to be alive and healthy and able to see things in another way. Today I choose to be happy and positive , I accept the fact that my husband is still sick and the fact he states he healthy, it's ok . Not to agree with it. I hold no resentment for Sunday night , if I had to go back and do that night o...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have worked really really hard on myself this last week or so. Taking care of me the best way I can. I have my ups and downs but reality has set in and I have come to terms with it all. Peace is setting in. Al-anon has been my rock.......and HP my savior. So.......I get another text today from my s...

simonpopcorn · simonpopcorn

I have been friends with this person for roughly six years. She has a history of reckless behavior growing up, which supposedly ended with the birth of her son, but in reality just changed to accommodate him. She has created an identity as a fearless person who never backs down from life (fun), and woul...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I was driving one day with my list of complaints neatly tucked into a brain's compartment to my doctor's office. A driver cut in front of me. On the back of his car bumper a sticker - "Stop Global Whining." By the time I got to the doctor's office and he asked how I was doing, my answer was: &q...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Hi All, I am new here. I have attended a few online meetings and one F2F meeting last week. My A husband was so angry that I went to a F2F meeting. He doesn't know about the online ones. He has been dry a week. This resulted from an incident in which he drank way too much, embarrassed himself, and embarr...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54653559/alanon-step-10/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 14th of Augus...

Mom2beans · Mom2beans

This has been coming for a while. We have 2 girls 7 and 8. My husband drinks like a fish, and is now mixing pain pills and alcohol. I have been begging and threatening him for a year to get help or we were leaving. I feel like all I have done for the past year is bitch. On my way home from work last Tuesday I call to...

recoverylove101 · recoverylove101

Hi everyone. I am a double dipper of both AA and Al Anon and I have completed the 12 steps in AA. My lover and I have been together for 3 years. He has recently gone to Al Anon, gotten a sponsor and begun the 12 steps. His father is in AA, his step father was a rage-a-holic and I am in AA (he is surrounded!). He rec...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

today I went to an Alanon open discussion mtg. this one older lady was sort of looking at me, just noticing me I guessed. I'm fairly new to that meeting. she spoke about God and how Alanon is a safe place. She seemed to be a more "senior member". what she said was met with widespread approval. i h...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I developed a pattern of rescuing ppeople at a fairly young age. as I got older my patterns became worse. I began to rescue abusive/unsafe guys. i always want the truth and am looking at this deeper. it believe it has to do with believing I am worthless and saving someone else to create my own self-esteem...

hisimage · hisimage

Is what my AH had to say to me last Friday. He is leaving for a week tomorrow and he thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes. I've been praying and pleading that I can get over myself and stop being so miserable. He sometimes will call me a sourpuss and he is right, I am. I don't want...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (Preview) I thought about it and I am sure I love my children unconditionally. Although I find it hard to love anyone else unconditionally....even my family sometimes... I am not sure if there is a universal understanding of this type of love.....what do you think. "Unconditional" sounds pretty s...	oldergal	14	549	Aug 20, 2013 by PP
	Talk to myself? (Preview)	John	9	480	Aug 20, 2013 by Winny
	Counting down days till school starts...this momma needs some relaxation (Preview) Am I the only one who is looking forward to their kids going back to school? I have been trying to work my program this summer but it has been SO hard to gain peace with having 2 boys at home all the time. One of my sons is special needs and demands attention all the time and I constantly have to keep an eye on hi...	daisy31	5	394	Aug 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Boy meets Boy... (Preview) Aloha Family...just got in from business part of which was (secretly) nurturing the child still within. There's not much child there because of the program and so I used a proxy and didn't tell him. There was this little guy in my garden this morning by himself, nice and quiet and still being a par...	Jerry F	7	502	Aug 20, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	boy meets girl... (Preview) Boy meets girl on AA campus is a analogy in the AA Big Book, which points out that rarely does early recovery love relationships work out... here is why, I call it my version of Step 13. Boy; "She looked at me from across the hallway before the meetings started, I think she wants my body!" Friend; "have you...	John	8	393	Aug 20, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	Need to practice awareness right now. (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I am in a point in my life where I need to practice much awareness of my thoughts and behaviours, because I feel that both are related.Since my fathers second dui, I have been carrying around a lot of anger, resentment and bitteness...	slogan_jim	12	497	Aug 20, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	This is just in fun, if i offend anyone I am truly sorry (Preview) ...... I tend to have to laugh at my life at times ..almost thinking I am my HP's comedy show, or sitcom having said that first, I heard a song called "I dont like 1/2 the folks I love" when I heard that song...the lyrics are so true in my life ..I wrote a few just becasue i connect with them and want...	sweeetr	5	569	Aug 20, 2013 by Aloha
	myself ..slipping (Preview) I feel it in my soul... I do good (real good) with me .. then lately ??? I feel the old "junk" about why?? and trying to understand why his choices are what they are .. I know his choices are his.. I know to worry about my own business... I KNOW all this .. I try not to think our family is second t...	sweeetr	6	366	Aug 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	where do I begin? need some support. (Preview) I hope this makes sense. I am dealing w/ a lot of anxiety & confusion right now. I have been to see my mom. I saw her on Sat. She seems better but is still way out there. I am very nervous about her condition. I have to keep living one day at a time today. I want to project on to the future as I am nervous again a...	Hoot Nanny	6	500	Aug 20, 2013 by bud
	Looking for Support (Preview) I am planning on leaving my ABF and moving far away by the end of the year. Right now we are living in Mexico but because I have to move back to the US and become financially independent I have to save up some money. I've tried to break up with him twice before and somehow I just get sucked in. I'm tired of de...	Jenn86	4	423	Aug 20, 2013 by Jenn86
	Trying to force solutions... (Preview) Hello dear MIP brothers and sisters...it's been so long since I've had a chance to visit or write. I've missed you. XAH and I have not had any communication since the beginning of July, when we were working out some of the details of the divorce decree. I am relieved that the only thing left is to take the q...	blondie99	12	2857	Aug 20, 2013 by blondie99
	the princess who kissed the frog and became a frog herself.... (Preview) the fear that things will never change. even though I'm aware of many of my mistakes and faults, and even though I've worked through the steps again and again, and even though I have had good days full of hope lately, I'm back at point 0, and sometimes deeper. I feel exhausted again, trying to keep mysel...	tortuga	12	433	Aug 20, 2013 by blondie99
	dunno if this will help you all, but it is helping me (Preview) one topic my AA partner and I discussed is BALANCE...... today I wrote down...a "typical" day for me and lately, writing down how long I am taking to do such and such I then made a list, negotiable , of course if something special arises, but a basic list of reasonable time I need to spend on...	neshema2	2	353	Aug 19, 2013 by Mimi3
	Mini Vacation (Preview) Hi All I'm back to work and I DON"T want to be here. After 5 days off and I want to retire...hehe I wish! I cleaned my house, did some yard work, started to put up my new lighting outside, went gambling, had my toes and nails done, went shopping and was lazy. Was able to spend some quality time with...	Cathyinaz	6	258	Aug 20, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Trying to hang in there after breaking up (Preview) I have not been on here in awhile. I posted last that I had broken up with my boyfriend a month ago, and only saw him 2x for aa meetings to accompany him. Two weeks ago he got black out drunk at a girl's apartment we have had major trust issues with in the past, and he actually scared her in his blackout and then...	giraffe13	11	565	Aug 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	I feel like a fraud (Preview) I'd like to know what you ladies & gents think about my being here, and my situation. I feel like a fraud (again, like I did 15 years ago with my first try at Al-Anon). I absolutely love this board. It has been a life- and sanity-saver for me. I learned codependent behavior from my Mother in my childhoo...	ClearTheFog	32	877	Aug 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) Hey everyone, I mentioned the other day that my dad got his second dui and I was in a place of fear and loneliness. I saw my dad today and he was in a good place. So was I. He seems to be taking responsibility for his actions. He apologized to me and my sister and re-iterated he is going to sell his car and start t...	slogan_jim	7	288	Aug 19, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Breathing Under Water (Preview) I am finishing an online course titled "Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps" and wanted to share this quote: "With these twelve important breathing lessons, you now know for yourself that you can breathe, and even under water. Because the breath of God( or yo...	PP	14	531	Aug 19, 2013 by afglin
	AA destroyed our family (Preview) I read with interest the account of "James" family being destroyed through AA's infliction into his wife's life. I have had the exact experience. I am happy beyond description that my wife quit drinking. She certainly would have met with a disastrous ending However, she has become a com...	Jack3126	26	1144	Aug 19, 2013 by Bettina
	keeping in touch w/ my sponsor & other alanon friends. (Preview) I just want to say even though it sounds like I might be off my rocker at times, I do speak to my sponsor & Al anon friends almost daily either by text, email or phone. I have been reading Al anon literature daily & some times it even makes sense to me. I am just working on getting some sanity back. FYI...	Hoot Nanny	2	224	Aug 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Words.....how do I say it? (Preview) Hello all...this is my first time posting here..I'm somewhat familiar with forums but this particular one is brand new for me. Al-Anon is not new to me (my ODAT book is dated 1972...haha)....but the season of my life that I find myself in requires a BIG return to Al-Anon principals...lol So, I have re...	cms1122	2	378	Aug 19, 2013 by hotrod
	Well I know it now (Preview) I saw this today and it actually brought up some compassion from me to ME...Yea..I actually said to myself "ok, we didn't know it then... The cruel assessments of me I bought, but no more...I will work my inventory, thank you" I felt a sense of sadness that I didn't see it for all those decade...	neshema2	1	290	Aug 19, 2013 by neshema2
	well *****l...I told a fib (Preview) I said on my post that I was gonna wait to get back in harness (read, and post) , but I saw sooo many "need to read/respond to" posts that I could not resist.. First, I would like to say Welcome to the new comers...U came to the right place... Recovery can be hard..Sad...But nothing worthwhile...	neshema2	6	380	Aug 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Taking a break from MIP (Preview) Hello, everyone. Just wanted to let you all know that I will not be around much. I'll probably come on and check for private messages every so often, though. I have come to realize that I'm not growing. I'm obviously not working my program very well. I'm stuck and I'm choosing to stay there because...	ilovedogs	15	650	Aug 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Normal (Preview) I called my son tonight at our usual time. Haven't talked with him since a few days after his surgery. He was pleasant and watching a pre-season football game. He didn't want to talk with me long. He was happy watching his game. I loved it. I did what I wanted to do. Check in with him. He did what he w...	grateful2be	14	471	Aug 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Taking the first step.... (Preview) Hello. My name is Stephanie, and my husband is an alcoholic.... thought I would use the old stand by intro! My attempt at levity. We have been married four years. I always knew he drank a lot. I should, of course, have seen the signs. But I ignored them, and my inner voice. He is trying to stay sober now...	Stevens	14	401	Aug 19, 2013 by Stevens
	Stopping in with an eye opening Step 4 discovery (Preview) Hey all just stopping in to update Had a REAL good work w/AA friend/coo-sponsor on my step 4.....I had to go on R&R to do this and feel the pain of yet more Crap to clean up on me....I discovered that (no surprise) that I am still fear based..especially my needs being met and my AA friend and I went over...	neshema2	5	487	Aug 19, 2013 by PP
	Need encouragement to follow my program (Preview) Hi all, I am having trouble with my relationship with my parents who are enablers to my AS. They choose to pay all of his bills and watch his son because he is too hung over to watch him. He is addicted to alcohol and they are addicted to him. I on the other hand try to stay on course with my alanon principl...	debhud	8	535	Aug 18, 2013 by Turris
	Perspectives (cont) (Preview) "Time is constantly passing, one moment following fast upon the other. That's why its so important to press forward boldly,without complaining or fretting. The person who looks to the future and keeps moving ahead is eternally youthful. Such a person's heart is filled with flowers and shin...	Bettina	7	256	Aug 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	What I want vs what I need (Preview) Boy am I a slow learner and a fast forgetter! I have had a couple of humbling lessons in the God of my understanding giving me what I need vs what I want .. that's ok. I'm having a clearer picture that the Pushka plan isn't what it needs to be .. I don't necessarily like it .. I do have to come to accept it's n...	Pushka	8	501	Aug 18, 2013 by Pushka
	sharing my story (Preview) Hi All, I am sharing my story tomorrow in the afternoon of the convention with AA and al anon present. It will be the first time my partner (sober ABF) has heard my story. The theme is hope and sobriety, today we have sobriety in our home life is not perfect but so much better. It is thanks to both fellowsh...	Tracy	5	284	Aug 18, 2013 by pinkchip
	Perspectives (Preview) "True Ease and comfort are not found in a quiet,uneventful life. This may sound paradoxical, but hardships bring about ease and comfort. For only by establising strong individual lives capable of boldly challenging difficult obstacles can we find true Peace and security in this lifetime....	Bettina	1	266	Aug 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Does it ever end? (Preview) I can't take anymore. Do I have to take abuse? What do you do when you work and make too much for help, yet not enough to even pay house and ulities. I have serious health issues too. I'm 3 years from retirement and I have to keep my health insurance? I have faith in God but I have to be realistic too.	wings of a dove	6	519	Aug 17, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Feeling lost and empty! (Preview) It seems the better I get at detaching from my A/A's (daughter and her son), I feel spiritually disconnected from them, I know I still love them, but I mostly feel sadness/fear when I think of them, sad because of their bad choices/circumstances they are in and fear they will try to con/manipulate me in...	Highlyfavored	9	425	Aug 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	lol?? (Preview) This evening- as my AB was getting himself good and drunk in celebration of it being Friday, he mentioned to me that a house we had previously looked at was up for rent again, and that he would like to take another look at it. Then he grew serious and said "I have a concern though. The house has a lot of s...	Melly1248	9	397	Aug 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Didn't mean to take a break (Preview) Hi all-My life got so hectic and busy and I have felt pressure from work, 90 yr old mom, son and spouse issues, etc., etc., etc. However, I have missed the board and hopefully can get back to checking in as I used to. Each day I couldn't get here I wondered howall wondered how everyone was doing and I wanted t...	Lyne	4	313	Aug 17, 2013 by pinkchip
	Had to laugh.... (Preview) I was at my physical therapy session and had the early good fortune of almost being one on one with my therapist which was cool. She is a young doctor and good at what she does and I was expressing honest gratitude. Over a bit of time others started to come into the place and I went from massage table to e...	Jerry F	6	326	Aug 17, 2013 by Tasha
	Rowing (Preview) I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me. I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning. A woman is lost...	Melly1248	7	553	Aug 17, 2013 by Tasha
	You're welcome... (Preview) I was at an AA open meeting a month or two ago. After the meeting I was talking to a younger member. She said that when she got a few things sorted out in AA she would like to come along to Alanon. I turned to her, and smiled. I said, as far as I was concerned, if you are sober on the day, you are welcome. It is mayb...	DavidG	10	282	Aug 17, 2013 by DavidG
	kids and disappointment (Preview) the exA is at a family cottage on a lake for a week. the 11 yo and 16 yo boys are with him. One of the 11 yo's friends couldn't come with him bc his mom is not comfortable with the exA. When my son left at the beginning of the week, it was okay bc another friend would be able to come visit on thurs. I don't know wha...	rehprof	5	493	Aug 17, 2013 by abbyal
	facing reality head on. (Preview) I am learning to face reality head on especially now that my mom is in the hospital & I am powerless over what happens to her from here. My hands are tied. My husband is her contact person not me. She chose him over me which I am finally getting over after less than a week. I am still at this point not talki...	Hoot Nanny	2	414	Aug 17, 2013 by hotrod
	I , too, am taking a small break from the board.. (Preview) My issues, right now, are not alanon related....Its this financial fear, inability to find more income, depression and fighting off this financial fear.... Sadness and grief and yea, anger how my life could be taken from me and I kick myself for not knowing about alanon, coda till so late in my life...	neshema2	10	584	Aug 16, 2013 by Turris
	True Entertainment with a great message! (Preview)	John	7	642	Aug 16, 2013 by DavidG
	What a craptacular morning. (Preview) <- love this one, it's just perfect for today. What a night/morning. 'Scuse me posting a bit but it's really helping me stay focused to speak this stuff "out loud" and make myself face it. It's all much less confusing and stressful when I share it here because there's a clear path that I ne...	Melly1248	11	654	Aug 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	1st f2f tomorrow. (Preview) So, first f2f meeting tomorrow at 1pm. I live in an extremely small town. There's one daytime and one night-time meeting per week. What if the people there don't like me? What if there is someone there from my daughter's school? One of the other parents? A teacher? What if someone sees me go in? The dog wo...	Melly1248	15	495	Aug 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	How to deal with a disruptive mentally ill person during a meeting (Preview) One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consi...	SunnySkies	13	1083	Aug 16, 2013 by hotrod
	going back on ultimatums? (Preview) First timer on this forum. I am struggling with going down the same road again. Mom is reporting how good she is doing and asking for "another chance" but the last time I vowed not to deal with this ever again.	big dave	8	619	Aug 15, 2013 by DavidG
	looking back, forward and trying to live in the present (Preview) Hi Everybody: In addition to checking in here for ESH several times a day, I have also been reading posts that I have started to pay attention to the progression of where I was when I came here at the start of 2012, and where I am today.. It has been helpful to see that I started as desperate, angry, bitter r...	yanksfan51	10	441	Aug 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	My father got his 2nd DUI (Preview) Hi everyone, I am typing from my phone. My father texted me to advise that last night he got his second DUI. He didn't go into specifics but my sister, who lives with him, called to tell me. My dad texted me saying 'I **** up and got my 2nd dui. I am going to lose everything.' I am oddly serene about this. Feels...	slogan_jim	23	5169	Aug 15, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	What is wrong with me? (Preview) Today I'm grateful to be alive and healthy and able to see things in another way. Today I choose to be happy and positive , I accept the fact that my husband is still sick and the fact he states he healthy, it's ok . Not to agree with it. I hold no resentment for Sunday night , if I had to go back and do that night o...	Ms co-dependent	5	523	Aug 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Doing Better (Preview) Hi All I have worked really really hard on myself this last week or so. Taking care of me the best way I can. I have my ups and downs but reality has set in and I have come to terms with it all. Peace is setting in. Al-anon has been my rock.......and HP my savior. So.......I get another text today from my s...	Cathyinaz	8	315	Aug 15, 2013 by John
	Alcoholic/addict friend with cancer, how do I deal with that? cancer addiction pills friendship feelings alcohol trust boundaries (Preview) I have been friends with this person for roughly six years. She has a history of reckless behavior growing up, which supposedly ended with the birth of her son, but in reality just changed to accommodate him. She has created an identity as a fearless person who never backs down from life (fun), and woul...	simonpopcorn	8	10442	Aug 15, 2013 by maryjane
	Bumper sticker (Preview) I was driving one day with my list of complaints neatly tucked into a brain's compartment to my doctor's office. A driver cut in front of me. On the back of his car bumper a sticker - "Stop Global Whining." By the time I got to the doctor's office and he asked how I was doing, my answer was: &q...	grateful2be	11	444	Aug 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	AH dry but not in recovery (Preview) Hi All, I am new here. I have attended a few online meetings and one F2F meeting last week. My A husband was so angry that I went to a F2F meeting. He doesn't know about the online ones. He has been dry a week. This resulted from an incident in which he drank way too much, embarrassed himself, and embarr...	gingerfizz	16	606	Aug 14, 2013 by Jackie11
	STEP 10 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54653559/alanon-step-10/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 14th of Augus...	hotrod	2	2927	Aug 14, 2013 by hotrod
	New to this; just left my alcoholic husband (Preview) This has been coming for a while. We have 2 girls 7 and 8. My husband drinks like a fish, and is now mixing pain pills and alcohol. I have been begging and threatening him for a year to get help or we were leaving. I feel like all I have done for the past year is bitch. On my way home from work last Tuesday I call to...	Mom2beans	12	583	Aug 14, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Need some advice on how to support through Step 4 (Preview) Hi everyone. I am a double dipper of both AA and Al Anon and I have completed the 12 steps in AA. My lover and I have been together for 3 years. He has recently gone to Al Anon, gotten a sponsor and begun the 12 steps. His father is in AA, his step father was a rage-a-holic and I am in AA (he is surrounded!). He rec...	recoverylove101	10	1088	Aug 14, 2013 by recoverylove101
	Strange phenomenon in Meetings (Preview) today I went to an Alanon open discussion mtg. this one older lady was sort of looking at me, just noticing me I guessed. I'm fairly new to that meeting. she spoke about God and how Alanon is a safe place. She seemed to be a more "senior member". what she said was met with widespread approval. i h...	WorkingThroughIt	21	728	Aug 14, 2013 by John
	Rescuing People (Preview) I developed a pattern of rescuing ppeople at a fairly young age. as I got older my patterns became worse. I began to rescue abusive/unsafe guys. i always want the truth and am looking at this deeper. it believe it has to do with believing I am worthless and saving someone else to create my own self-esteem...	WorkingThroughIt	21	698	Aug 14, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Nice to see you smile (Preview) Is what my AH had to say to me last Friday. He is leaving for a week tomorrow and he thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes. I've been praying and pleading that I can get over myself and stop being so miserable. He sometimes will call me a sourpuss and he is right, I am. I don't want...	hisimage	5	407	Aug 14, 2013 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.