Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54653559/alanon-step-10/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 14th of Augus...

Mom2beans · Mom2beans

This has been coming for a while. We have 2 girls 7 and 8. My husband drinks like a fish, and is now mixing pain pills and alcohol. I have been begging and threatening him for a year to get help or we were leaving. I feel like all I have done for the past year is bitch. On my way home from work last Tuesday I call to...

recoverylove101 · recoverylove101

Hi everyone. I am a double dipper of both AA and Al Anon and I have completed the 12 steps in AA. My lover and I have been together for 3 years. He has recently gone to Al Anon, gotten a sponsor and begun the 12 steps. His father is in AA, his step father was a rage-a-holic and I am in AA (he is surrounded!). He rec...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

today I went to an Alanon open discussion mtg. this one older lady was sort of looking at me, just noticing me I guessed. I'm fairly new to that meeting. she spoke about God and how Alanon is a safe place. She seemed to be a more "senior member". what she said was met with widespread approval. i h...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I developed a pattern of rescuing ppeople at a fairly young age. as I got older my patterns became worse. I began to rescue abusive/unsafe guys. i always want the truth and am looking at this deeper. it believe it has to do with believing I am worthless and saving someone else to create my own self-esteem...

hisimage · hisimage

Is what my AH had to say to me last Friday. He is leaving for a week tomorrow and he thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes. I've been praying and pleading that I can get over myself and stop being so miserable. He sometimes will call me a sourpuss and he is right, I am. I don't want...

sandydv · sandydv

I am trtying so very hard to not cmpletley loose it, he has been so irritable moody miserable - am starting to come to the reallization he suffers from depresson and self mdicates with pot and booze I was awa on holiday with daughter without him for a week - I was looking forward to seeing him only to come...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight was the first time I've spoken with my son since his surgery mid-week. My fears for him included his return to drugs after receiving drugs for the surgery AND I stayed out of it. Let him handle his own stuff with the surgeon he found in ways unknown to me. Kept my mouth shut. Since that day, he h...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I realize I'm top-posting a lot today but want to finish off with Solution. I am realizing that my disease (esp the Adult Child stuff) causes me to get very upset easily. I take things personally and am highly sensitive. It is time for me to do another brief inventory. Once a year or so when I feel it build u...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Arriving home from the gym AH is on the phone with the cable company. We lost power and internet last night due to a big storm so on arriving home I learn that we still don't have internet, and the power was just restored. Apparently he has decided to call about the offer to have both cable and internet an...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Ive shared on this before, but am having a hard time accepting it. I feel like I am the one doing something wrong.Since I have come to al-anon, my attitude has changed for the better regarding who to socialize with. I find myself less insecure, not as argumentative, judgemental, I find I really dont car...

ohcarolina · ohcarolina

In a 3 year relationship with a recovering alcoholic...he is making great strides in his emotional recovery...coming back to Christ and his morals. In the process he has distanced himself from our relationship to get to a place of peace, expresses his love for me, but not sure of our future. I stood b...

andreaj · andreaj

Long time coming.. I suppose Feel very little support from friends but they all have their own ***** I suppose 9 years into watching someone really destroy themselves and watching my own drinking escalate Watching someone's health get worse- begging , pleading, ultimatums - I am sure you have hear...

Confused33 · Confused33

Hi, everyone. I posted some stuff under Amers (something, I can't remember) about 2 months ago. My update is I moved back in with my AH a month ago. We were separated. He got fired, however, and I felt so bad that I wanted to be a support for him. So I moved in and I told him that I will help him through thi...

willowtree · willowtree

I am going to be seeing my parents this weekend and camping with them. I feel so terrible physically because of the stress. I always try and be nice and invite others and now I wish I didn't because my anxiety leading up to it is so bad. I can barely clean my house and my body is hurting all over. I honestl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to make this real quick--a lot of you know that my mom has been sick. She is now in a psychiatric ward. She checked herself in but we had to take her to the hospital in the early morning hours so needless to say, I am exhausted & ready to get healthier myself. It was Saturday morning & I am st...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well I see threw the fog in my brain I see the slogans that are guiding me threw this crazy disease . I'm not sure how I'm doing it . It's like I'm being lead to the right place . My kids came back from nc 2 weeks ago and ah moved back in with out my invite . Dam that was a tought week for me.i hit every day meeting 3 we...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm going to try to say this the right way . I love al Alon I feel getting a little of what I need at this time to stay afloat . My ah spouse see the new healthy ways I been making and sure enough I new he would not like them. He started to make his own Boundarys for me to follow . He not liking it that I'm excited abou...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's been a good day so far. I'm putting together my new patio furniture and just stopped to get a bite to eat and something to drink. I check my phone and there is a text from my son. Quote: I have the ranch job...... OK......I don't even want to respond to his text. I think it will just give him hope...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I had an argument with my AM about her drinking and her denial about it. She was angry because she didn't want to talk about it and I was angry because this disease just robs myself and my family of the woman we used to know... its so painful to watch and experience. To top it off, I took a Statistics class f...

John · John

I wrote not so long ago, how big of a mess I was, and yes, I'm still a mess, just with a different perspective and a lot of gratitude. If my wealth were to be measured by what is in my pockets, I would qualify for the Federal Emergency Management Agency to step in! LMAO But my wealth is not in my pockets, its...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I'm sitting on my porch in a new old rocking chair I bought at one of the many garage sales around town this weekend, big sale weekend because its our one big event for this small town, parade and everything. There's a storm going on in the west, lightening (which makes the fire guys and wheat farmers nerv...

John · John

ANNE Morshead met her husband in a pub. Which is ironic, because alcohol eventually threatened to destroy their relationship."Anyone can become addicted if they drink enough for long enough," Anne told news.com.au. Her husband certainly did."He had a miserable Irish childhood, a father who wa...

LeeMarie · LeeMarie

Hi everyone. I've been going to F2F meetings since January and have yet to share. It's so hard for me because not only is my AH in denial, but I was in denial for more than 20 years. After much therapy and alanon, I've come to the decision of divorce. He would not leave voluntarily so I had to hire a lawy...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I had a great moment this afternoon. I was on my way to meet my daughter on her way home from school. I ride my bike, my devastatingly handsome dog runs along next to me and says hello to everyone we pass, and people smile and wave and make nice comments ("goodness what a lovely dog!), because he real...

neshema2 · neshema2

When my needs were not only not met, but sabotaged and attacked at home, I being the resourceful one, just went out and got my OWN family....It took some time, becuz its difficult for a 9 year old to get up and shop for a new family, but I did this in my teens.....You saw a picture of my missing sister Gini......

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had a phone conversation with my exAH tonight that took a bad turn. Reason number 1 was because he was drinking, reason number two because he is an active alcoholic. We were discussing getting together for a walk when I take the girls to him on Monday and discussing some things. I told him that I am unsur...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I was at the hospital much of today with my son. He was able to find his own surgeon, get to the hospital, get admitted today with no help from me although he was very glad to see me when I arrived. This morning, it felt like my HP was saying call the hospital. I did. Then, ask for his room. I did. Talk wi...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Hey All - been awhile since I've been here. Sort of funny - I actually got myself a 6-pack of girlie beers a few weeks ago. I drank the whole 6-pack over the course of about a week. My son comments, "Mom, you drank a lot of beers" when he saw the empty package in the recycle bin. AH will drink 10...

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

Well I have decided for the first time in 10 years to fix things with my mom, it is time to let go of the past and move on into the future and have a healthy bond, I am not saying best friends. I am wanting a understanding that yes we can talk and we can go hang out occasionally, however I am not ready for it all. I w...

BeachWife · BeachWife

Hello Everyone, First timer here. I'm not even sure what I want to say. I guess I can start with a little introduction about myself. I have been with my AH for 6 years. (lived together for 5 and married almost one year now.) I knew what I was getting into I suppose. But...ahem...I adore and love him. ...

Ruby1991 · Ruby1991

Hi, First of all let me introduce myself, I'm Ruby, from Hampshire. I am new to the site and looking for a bit of advice. I have been with fiance over 2 and a half years, we started our relationship when he was only 10 months sober, we took our time starting our relationship until we both knew that it was a goo...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Oh lordy...my AH is coming home. He has been working 600 miles away for a month, and has decided he is "too homesick" to stay out there. He will work overtime on Saturday, then stop by a union hall to update his welding papers, then be home on Tuesday.I am fighting very hard NOT to freak out. I do...

rehprof · rehprof

So, I have a new pup. When I first got her home 2 weeks ago, she was a biting, jumping, spazzy ball of puppy energy...she had never had any work done with her (she is about 5mos old). Today, she responds to recall off lead in my back yard, sits when asked, does not jump but only occasionally, and has basicall...

sweeetr · sweeetr

this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my n...

neshema2 · neshema2

In the old Coda days, I HAD to have someone around me....HATED to be alone....I guess I didnt like my own company, but being around the wrong people all my life, I could be in a room full of the old bio family and feel like I was soo alone....dead inside......OR with the AH#1....he would be home , always, af...

Phoenix312 · Phoenix312

do you have those times where all feels out of control? Like everything you learned in meetings doesn't work and you feel like just....nothing. I'm feeling like that right now. I don't have anymore fight in me, I'm tired of struggling. My abf is out of control and I feel like he's dragging me and my daug...

John · John

I hate to put these notifications out here, but we are currently 25.00 in arrears on our message board cost, and that will only bring us current. Anyone who can donate a few dollars to help offset the cost of this expense, please consider doing so as soon asap. Any surplus will be used to pay it in advanc...

SerenitySoon · SerenitySoon

I really had to get to a meeting last night. Emotional day- son turned 40 and he's in the throes of a separation- happy birthday to him, eh? Anyway, I needed to be with other Alanon folk and I have the luxury of having 2 meetings from which to choose. One is far closer to me than the one I usually go to which is o...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. court was interesting and it wasn't good however it wasn't bad. I didn't get the OP extended to the kids .. that's ok .. I've now been able to document that I've been trying to AND I was able to extend MY OP to the 29th of this month with a status update. So really .. NOTHING will happen at that date....

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Not here of course :) but over time I am getting the impression that many who just 'havn't liked me' and I've done nothing wrong to, is because of my constant whining and just lack of positivity. I am starting to notice this now. In life, I am definite late bloomer and felt like I sat back and watched as ever...

AngieP · AngieP

I haven't posted about my situation in quite sometime. I moved out of the cohabitation w/ Afiance Nov 2012 after violent attack (truly the 1st towards me) he had only hurt himself prior. He has gotten sober, worked a good program, but of course the occasional crazy making goes on. I really want to just w...

neshema2 · neshema2

Did my A's help me attract good friends??? NO!! Did they ruin potential good friendships b/c my friends could not handle the chaos and drama??? YES!!! OR did I just give up bringing kids (when child) and friends (when married) home to avoid the inevitable???? YEP!!! What did the A's in my life do re:...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've had some time to process since my Tuesday appointment this week left me in a strange emotional place. 2 weeks ago on Saturday evening my AH acted like an A, and while I've learned to drop the rope, and the conversation ended fairly quickly I was still left frustrated by what had been said, and the apo...

Phyllis · Phyllis

I have been dating a man for a year who claims he is a heavy drinker. We have a great relationship, have a lot in common, finish each others sentences, travel well together and for a senior citizens we enjoy a good physical relationship. What bothers me the most is the anxiety of incoherent text, phone ca...

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

I have been in alanon for 2 months and I need someone to sponsor me... if anyone has been in the program a while and is doing good in their recovery I would like a sponsor

1976love · 1976love

Boy oh boy, I am having a bad week. I have settled in to the fact that my husband will be going to a bachelor party this weekend and going to a strip club and I have to focus on him being an alcoholic and bad things can happen no matter where he goes. So while he has his fun at the bachelor party the soon to be wif...

neshema2 · neshema2

I know.WAAAAY of topic I have a bad back....muscle and soft tissue issues from eons of physical abuse and I think the ptsd added the back spasms that I have had since 1993.....the first ever attack (spasm) was so bad the muscle, I think tore and bled......I had to go to dr. to get sonar treatments on it to g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have discovered that I have to slow down now & always. I am so stressed but mostly because I am tired. I have not been able to resolve any of my issues but at least I can see that it is possible. I have to let things go! I am so grateful for the program because w/o it I wouldn't have as much support as I do. To...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH and I were doing better. Yesterday was a day like old times, we went for a drive, browsed at the flea market, went for a nice lunch, we laughed and held hands. And then today he went to a morning meeting and was 2 hours late coming home. He did his usual routine, came in the back door and went straight to t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Every year AH qualifies for a sales incentive trip. Last year I didn't go with him on his trip to Costa Rica, this year I've turned down the trip to St Thomas. He is taking it quite personally this time around and thinks that I'm embarrassing him by not going. On last year's trip he apparently got plast...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but t...

neshema2 · neshema2

GIVE...but check my motives and make sure it is purely out of love and do NOT allow me to get used anymore.....do it w/my eyes open and sure...Its great to give, but when does Giving become enabling or being used??? I have really come far in this... Love..Love is what makes the world go round for me...Lov...

neshema2 · neshema2

Ok...for me the wishbone is visualizing those "doable" wants and needs that I don't have as yet.......its ok to "wish" "dream" visualize, but sometimes I get up in the stratosphere, and slowly I am making my "wish bone" more realistic Backbone??? ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I hope this helps, not sure where I got it. Hello. As a recovering Alcoholic, I too struggled for years with the acceptance of Alcoholism being a disease...because I had always been taught it had to do with being weak willed,etc. How many times I cried out to God to free me of this horrible desire,crave,...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Jerry's recent post about giving it away and BreakingFree's post about her neighborhood had me thinking at odd times when I'm allowed the luxury of uninterrupted thought. (Like when I'm driving). In my thinking, the two separate posts, speak to the same thing, giving it away. Remember the song, or p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I went from paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it and you can't Control it. QTIP ~ Quit taking it personally Let Go and Let God S-save M-mother O-obsess O-own T-take abuse H-HP (be his or l...

neshema2 · neshema2

Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments... Now some "expectatio...

rehprof · rehprof

Yesterday the exAH spent the day at my home with the kids. I had work to do so I stuck around. The kids have set up this big airsoft course...and the ex had bought new guns and equipment..including an expensive mask for my 11 YO. This with no job, no place to live...living with his sister. And of course he ca...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am looking at one of my character defects and am still trying to put into action handing it over. I come from addict/alcoholic parents and I am so proud that I did not follow suit. My brother drank growing up and I cleaned up after him and of course I grew up and married an A. I have now been divorced from ex...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STEP 10 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54653559/alanon-step-10/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 14th of Augus...	hotrod	2	2569	Aug 14, 2013 by hotrod
	New to this; just left my alcoholic husband (Preview) This has been coming for a while. We have 2 girls 7 and 8. My husband drinks like a fish, and is now mixing pain pills and alcohol. I have been begging and threatening him for a year to get help or we were leaving. I feel like all I have done for the past year is bitch. On my way home from work last Tuesday I call to...	Mom2beans	12	513	Aug 14, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Need some advice on how to support through Step 4 (Preview) Hi everyone. I am a double dipper of both AA and Al Anon and I have completed the 12 steps in AA. My lover and I have been together for 3 years. He has recently gone to Al Anon, gotten a sponsor and begun the 12 steps. His father is in AA, his step father was a rage-a-holic and I am in AA (he is surrounded!). He rec...	recoverylove101	10	789	Aug 14, 2013 by recoverylove101
	Strange phenomenon in Meetings (Preview) today I went to an Alanon open discussion mtg. this one older lady was sort of looking at me, just noticing me I guessed. I'm fairly new to that meeting. she spoke about God and how Alanon is a safe place. She seemed to be a more "senior member". what she said was met with widespread approval. i h...	WorkingThroughIt	21	656	Aug 14, 2013 by John
	Rescuing People (Preview) I developed a pattern of rescuing ppeople at a fairly young age. as I got older my patterns became worse. I began to rescue abusive/unsafe guys. i always want the truth and am looking at this deeper. it believe it has to do with believing I am worthless and saving someone else to create my own self-esteem...	WorkingThroughIt	21	621	Aug 14, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Nice to see you smile (Preview) Is what my AH had to say to me last Friday. He is leaving for a week tomorrow and he thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes. I've been praying and pleading that I can get over myself and stop being so miserable. He sometimes will call me a sourpuss and he is right, I am. I don't want...	hisimage	5	333	Aug 14, 2013 by tiredtonite
	consrtant miserable self medicaring depressed husband (Preview) I am trtying so very hard to not cmpletley loose it, he has been so irritable moody miserable - am starting to come to the reallization he suffers from depresson and self mdicates with pot and booze I was awa on holiday with daughter without him for a week - I was looking forward to seeing him only to come...	sandydv	2	327	Aug 14, 2013 by PP
	My son - the wonder (Preview) Tonight was the first time I've spoken with my son since his surgery mid-week. My fears for him included his return to drugs after receiving drugs for the surgery AND I stayed out of it. Let him handle his own stuff with the surgeon he found in ways unknown to me. Kept my mouth shut. Since that day, he h...	grateful2be	9	428	Aug 14, 2013 by xeno59
	Why Being A "Victim" Is Awful (Preview) I realize I'm top-posting a lot today but want to finish off with Solution. I am realizing that my disease (esp the Adult Child stuff) causes me to get very upset easily. I take things personally and am highly sensitive. It is time for me to do another brief inventory. Once a year or so when I feel it build u...	WorkingThroughIt	14	962	Aug 13, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Detachment (Preview) Arriving home from the gym AH is on the phone with the cable company. We lost power and internet last night due to a big storm so on arriving home I learn that we still don't have internet, and the power was just restored. Apparently he has decided to call about the offer to have both cable and internet an...	Jackie11	2	310	Aug 13, 2013 by PP
	I still can't get over this. (Preview) Ive shared on this before, but am having a hard time accepting it. I feel like I am the one doing something wrong.Since I have come to al-anon, my attitude has changed for the better regarding who to socialize with. I find myself less insecure, not as argumentative, judgemental, I find I really dont car...	slogan_jim	6	489	Aug 13, 2013 by abbyal
	Codependent and trying to Overcome (Preview) In a 3 year relationship with a recovering alcoholic...he is making great strides in his emotional recovery...coming back to Christ and his morals. In the process he has distanced himself from our relationship to get to a place of peace, expresses his love for me, but not sure of our future. I stood b...	ohcarolina	4	415	Aug 13, 2013 by ohcarolina
	I just felt unsafe... (Preview) Long time coming.. I suppose Feel very little support from friends but they all have their own ***** I suppose 9 years into watching someone really destroy themselves and watching my own drinking escalate Watching someone's health get worse- begging , pleading, ultimatums - I am sure you have hear...	andreaj	5	386	Aug 13, 2013 by PP
	Help. (Preview) Hi, everyone. I posted some stuff under Amers (something, I can't remember) about 2 months ago. My update is I moved back in with my AH a month ago. We were separated. He got fired, however, and I felt so bad that I wanted to be a support for him. So I moved in and I told him that I will help him through thi...	Confused33	12	461	Aug 13, 2013 by Confused33
	Going to be seeing my family this weekend -need strength (Preview) I am going to be seeing my parents this weekend and camping with them. I feel so terrible physically because of the stress. I always try and be nice and invite others and now I wish I didn't because my anxiety leading up to it is so bad. I can barely clean my house and my body is hurting all over. I honestl...	willowtree	5	341	Aug 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Things can only get better... (Preview) I am going to make this real quick--a lot of you know that my mom has been sick. She is now in a psychiatric ward. She checked herself in but we had to take her to the hospital in the early morning hours so needless to say, I am exhausted & ready to get healthier myself. It was Saturday morning & I am st...	Hoot Nanny	3	159	Aug 13, 2013 by hotrod
	Improving ms co-dependent ðŸ˜„ (Preview) Well I see threw the fog in my brain I see the slogans that are guiding me threw this crazy disease . I'm not sure how I'm doing it . It's like I'm being lead to the right place . My kids came back from nc 2 weeks ago and ah moved back in with out my invite . Dam that was a tought week for me.i hit every day meeting 3 we...	Ms co-dependent	11	442	Aug 13, 2013 by el-cee
	The fog is back (Preview) I'm going to try to say this the right way . I love al Alon I feel getting a little of what I need at this time to stay afloat . My ah spouse see the new healthy ways I been making and sure enough I new he would not like them. He started to make his own Boundarys for me to follow . He not liking it that I'm excited abou...	Ms co-dependent	6	441	Aug 13, 2013 by Aloha
	Text (Preview) It's been a good day so far. I'm putting together my new patio furniture and just stopped to get a bite to eat and something to drink. I check my phone and there is a text from my son. Quote: I have the ranch job...... OK......I don't even want to respond to his text. I think it will just give him hope...	Cathyinaz	16	570	Aug 12, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Argument with my in denial AM and failed my Statistics class (Preview) I had an argument with my AM about her drinking and her denial about it. She was angry because she didn't want to talk about it and I was angry because this disease just robs myself and my family of the woman we used to know... its so painful to watch and experience. To top it off, I took a Statistics class f...	phoenixmagicgirl	9	429	Aug 12, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Good Morning, join me for a cup of coffee? (Preview) I wrote not so long ago, how big of a mess I was, and yes, I'm still a mess, just with a different perspective and a lot of gratitude. If my wealth were to be measured by what is in my pockets, I would qualify for the Federal Emergency Management Agency to step in! LMAO But my wealth is not in my pockets, its...	John	7	469	Aug 12, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Another Saturday Night (Preview) I'm sitting on my porch in a new old rocking chair I bought at one of the many garage sales around town this weekend, big sale weekend because its our one big event for this small town, parade and everything. There's a storm going on in the west, lightening (which makes the fire guys and wheat farmers nerv...	likemyheart	6	453	Aug 12, 2013 by likemyheart
	Anne M article I found in online newspaper (Preview) ANNE Morshead met her husband in a pub. Which is ironic, because alcohol eventually threatened to destroy their relationship."Anyone can become addicted if they drink enough for long enough," Anne told news.com.au. Her husband certainly did."He had a miserable Irish childhood, a father who wa...	John	17	485	Aug 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	First Time Sharing (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been going to F2F meetings since January and have yet to share. It's so hard for me because not only is my AH in denial, but I was in denial for more than 20 years. After much therapy and alanon, I've come to the decision of divorce. He would not leave voluntarily so I had to hire a lawy...	LeeMarie	8	413	Aug 12, 2013 by Mimi3
	Enjoying freedom. (Preview) I had a great moment this afternoon. I was on my way to meet my daughter on her way home from school. I ride my bike, my devastatingly handsome dog runs along next to me and says hello to everyone we pass, and people smile and wave and make nice comments ("goodness what a lovely dog!), because he real...	Melly1248	8	443	Aug 11, 2013 by likemyheart
	family (Preview) When my needs were not only not met, but sabotaged and attacked at home, I being the resourceful one, just went out and got my OWN family....It took some time, becuz its difficult for a 9 year old to get up and shop for a new family, but I did this in my teens.....You saw a picture of my missing sister Gini......	neshema2	4	329	Aug 11, 2013 by qwerty49
	Not sure if I boarded the crazy train, but I went to the station (Preview) I had a phone conversation with my exAH tonight that took a bad turn. Reason number 1 was because he was drinking, reason number two because he is an active alcoholic. We were discussing getting together for a walk when I take the girls to him on Monday and discussing some things. I told him that I am unsur...	Breakingfree	15	543	Aug 11, 2013 by tortuga
	Son update (Preview) I was at the hospital much of today with my son. He was able to find his own surgeon, get to the hospital, get admitted today with no help from me although he was very glad to see me when I arrived. This morning, it felt like my HP was saying call the hospital. I did. Then, ask for his room. I did. Talk wi...	grateful2be	12	246	Aug 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mom - you drank a lot of beers! (Preview) Hey All - been awhile since I've been here. Sort of funny - I actually got myself a 6-pack of girlie beers a few weeks ago. I drank the whole 6-pack over the course of about a week. My son comments, "Mom, you drank a lot of beers" when he saw the empty package in the recycle bin. AH will drink 10...	Hot Chicka	15	435	Aug 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	me and my mom (Preview) Well I have decided for the first time in 10 years to fix things with my mom, it is time to let go of the past and move on into the future and have a healthy bond, I am not saying best friends. I am wanting a understanding that yes we can talk and we can go hang out occasionally, however I am not ready for it all. I w...	Tiff5484	5	340	Aug 10, 2013 by slogan_jim
	New here...Hello All! (Preview) Hello Everyone, First timer here. I'm not even sure what I want to say. I guess I can start with a little introduction about myself. I have been with my AH for 6 years. (lived together for 5 and married almost one year now.) I knew what I was getting into I suppose. But...ahem...I adore and love him. ...	BeachWife	8	450	Aug 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	Newcomer, advice wanted. (Preview) Hi, First of all let me introduce myself, I'm Ruby, from Hampshire. I am new to the site and looking for a bit of advice. I have been with fiance over 2 and a half years, we started our relationship when he was only 10 months sober, we took our time starting our relationship until we both knew that it was a goo...	Ruby1991	14	571	Aug 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	HP, I need you! (Preview) Oh lordy...my AH is coming home. He has been working 600 miles away for a month, and has decided he is "too homesick" to stay out there. He will work overtime on Saturday, then stop by a union hall to update his welding papers, then be home on Tuesday.I am fighting very hard NOT to freak out. I do...	stephaniej	5	411	Aug 10, 2013 by Pushka
	A Dog Epiphany (Preview) So, I have a new pup. When I first got her home 2 weeks ago, she was a biting, jumping, spazzy ball of puppy energy...she had never had any work done with her (she is about 5mos old). Today, she responds to recall off lead in my back yard, sits when asked, does not jump but only occasionally, and has basicall...	rehprof	7	452	Aug 10, 2013 by Breakingfree
	holding ground (Preview) this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my n...	sweeetr	8	327	Aug 10, 2013 by Pushka
	Alone but not lonely (Preview) In the old Coda days, I HAD to have someone around me....HATED to be alone....I guess I didnt like my own company, but being around the wrong people all my life, I could be in a room full of the old bio family and feel like I was soo alone....dead inside......OR with the AH#1....he would be home , always, af...	neshema2	3	170	Aug 10, 2013 by PP
	Desperate (Preview) do you have those times where all feels out of control? Like everything you learned in meetings doesn't work and you feel like just....nothing. I'm feeling like that right now. I don't have anymore fight in me, I'm tired of struggling. My abf is out of control and I feel like he's dragging me and my daug...	Phoenix312	10	371	Aug 10, 2013 by neshema2
	Donations for Board needed (Preview) I hate to put these notifications out here, but we are currently 25.00 in arrears on our message board cost, and that will only bring us current. Anyone who can donate a few dollars to help offset the cost of this expense, please consider doing so as soon asap. Any surplus will be used to pay it in advanc...	John	10	477	Aug 10, 2013 by neshema2
	My HP at Work (Preview) I really had to get to a meeting last night. Emotional day- son turned 40 and he's in the throes of a separation- happy birthday to him, eh? Anyway, I needed to be with other Alanon folk and I have the luxury of having 2 meetings from which to choose. One is far closer to me than the one I usually go to which is o...	SerenitySoon	1	227	Aug 9, 2013 by neshema2
	Court Update :) (Preview) Well, .. court was interesting and it wasn't good however it wasn't bad. I didn't get the OP extended to the kids .. that's ok .. I've now been able to document that I've been trying to AND I was able to extend MY OP to the 29th of this month with a status update. So really .. NOTHING will happen at that date....	Pushka	6	224	Aug 9, 2013 by stephaniej
	I think my whining has turned some people off (Preview) Not here of course :) but over time I am getting the impression that many who just 'havn't liked me' and I've done nothing wrong to, is because of my constant whining and just lack of positivity. I am starting to notice this now. In life, I am definite late bloomer and felt like I sat back and watched as ever...	slogan_jim	8	697	Aug 9, 2013 by Debilyn
	On total overload (Preview) I haven't posted about my situation in quite sometime. I moved out of the cohabitation w/ Afiance Nov 2012 after violent attack (truly the 1st towards me) he had only hurt himself prior. He has gotten sober, worked a good program, but of course the occasional crazy making goes on. I really want to just w...	AngieP	9	645	Aug 9, 2013 by Debilyn
	A healthy relationship will never...................... (Preview) Did my A's help me attract good friends??? NO!! Did they ruin potential good friendships b/c my friends could not handle the chaos and drama??? YES!!! OR did I just give up bringing kids (when child) and friends (when married) home to avoid the inevitable???? YEP!!! What did the A's in my life do re:...	neshema2	4	310	Aug 9, 2013 by sweeetr
	Processing (Preview) I've had some time to process since my Tuesday appointment this week left me in a strange emotional place. 2 weeks ago on Saturday evening my AH acted like an A, and while I've learned to drop the rope, and the conversation ended fairly quickly I was still left frustrated by what had been said, and the apo...	Jackie11	3	331	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	new to the forum and can use advice (Preview) I have been dating a man for a year who claims he is a heavy drinker. We have a great relationship, have a lot in common, finish each others sentences, travel well together and for a senior citizens we enjoy a good physical relationship. What bothers me the most is the anxiety of incoherent text, phone ca...	Phyllis	7	1213	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	I am looking for a sponsor (Preview) I have been in alanon for 2 months and I need someone to sponsor me... if anyone has been in the program a while and is doing good in their recovery I would like a sponsor	Tiff5484	5	875	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	are you kidding me, I wasn't even looking for it (Preview) Boy oh boy, I am having a bad week. I have settled in to the fact that my husband will be going to a bachelor party this weekend and going to a strip club and I have to focus on him being an alcoholic and bad things can happen no matter where he goes. So while he has his fun at the bachelor party the soon to be wif...	1976love	11	411	Aug 9, 2013 by grateful2be
	tennis ball acupuncture????? (Preview) I know.WAAAAY of topic I have a bad back....muscle and soft tissue issues from eons of physical abuse and I think the ptsd added the back spasms that I have had since 1993.....the first ever attack (spasm) was so bad the muscle, I think tore and bled......I had to go to dr. to get sonar treatments on it to g...	neshema2	4	415	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	so much to say so little time... (Preview) I have discovered that I have to slow down now & always. I am so stressed but mostly because I am tired. I have not been able to resolve any of my issues but at least I can see that it is possible. I have to let things go! I am so grateful for the program because w/o it I wouldn't have as much support as I do. To...	Hoot Nanny	3	259	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	Stay Out of the Basement (Preview) AH and I were doing better. Yesterday was a day like old times, we went for a drive, browsed at the flea market, went for a nice lunch, we laughed and held hands. And then today he went to a morning meeting and was 2 hours late coming home. He did his usual routine, came in the back door and went straight to t...	ParisMemories	11	686	Aug 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Turned down a trip to St Thomas (Preview) Every year AH qualifies for a sales incentive trip. Last year I didn't go with him on his trip to Costa Rica, this year I've turned down the trip to St Thomas. He is taking it quite personally this time around and thinks that I'm embarrassing him by not going. On last year's trip he apparently got plast...	ilovedogs	10	402	Aug 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Love that I found this, a must read, I could never have said it so eloquently! (Preview) Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but t...	Breakingfree	4	307	Aug 9, 2013 by rehprof
	I think it boils down to discernment (Preview) GIVE...but check my motives and make sure it is purely out of love and do NOT allow me to get used anymore.....do it w/my eyes open and sure...Its great to give, but when does Giving become enabling or being used??? I have really come far in this... Love..Love is what makes the world go round for me...Lov...	neshema2	2	302	Aug 8, 2013 by PP
	another 3 things good for recovery (Preview) Ok...for me the wishbone is visualizing those "doable" wants and needs that I don't have as yet.......its ok to "wish" "dream" visualize, but sometimes I get up in the stratosphere, and slowly I am making my "wish bone" more realistic Backbone??? ...	neshema2	3	340	Aug 8, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I saw this this morning and wanted to share here (Preview) I hope this helps, not sure where I got it. Hello. As a recovering Alcoholic, I too struggled for years with the acceptance of Alcoholism being a disease...because I had always been taught it had to do with being weak willed,etc. How many times I cried out to God to free me of this horrible desire,crave,...	Breakingfree	4	347	Aug 8, 2013 by Jackie11
	Musing - Giving Love Away (Preview) Jerry's recent post about giving it away and BreakingFree's post about her neighborhood had me thinking at odd times when I'm allowed the luxury of uninterrupted thought. (Like when I'm driving). In my thinking, the two separate posts, speak to the same thing, giving it away. Remember the song, or p...	likemyheart	9	439	Aug 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Slogans anyone (Preview) I went from paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it and you can't Control it. QTIP ~ Quit taking it personally Let Go and Let God S-save M-mother O-obsess O-own T-take abuse H-HP (be his or l...	Breakingfree	10	463	Aug 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	expectations (Preview) Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments... Now some "expectatio...	neshema2	6	249	Aug 8, 2013 by neshema2
	I'm fresh out of serenity... (Preview) Yesterday the exAH spent the day at my home with the kids. I had work to do so I stuck around. The kids have set up this big airsoft course...and the ex had bought new guns and equipment..including an expensive mask for my 11 YO. This with no job, no place to live...living with his sister. And of course he ca...	rehprof	7	452	Aug 8, 2013 by rehprof
	Me~ Self righteous? (Preview) I am looking at one of my character defects and am still trying to put into action handing it over. I come from addict/alcoholic parents and I am so proud that I did not follow suit. My brother drank growing up and I cleaned up after him and of course I grew up and married an A. I have now been divorced from ex...	Breakingfree	17	784	Aug 8, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.