Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Bettina · Bettina

"True Ease and comfort are not found in a quiet,uneventful life. This may sound paradoxical, but hardships bring about ease and comfort. For only by establising strong individual lives capable of boldly challenging difficult obstacles can we find true Peace and security in this lifetime....

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I can't take anymore. Do I have to take abuse? What do you do when you work and make too much for help, yet not enough to even pay house and ulities. I have serious health issues too. I'm 3 years from retirement and I have to keep my health insurance? I have faith in God but I have to be realistic too.

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

It seems the better I get at detaching from my A/A's (daughter and her son), I feel spiritually disconnected from them, I know I still love them, but I mostly feel sadness/fear when I think of them, sad because of their bad choices/circumstances they are in and fear they will try to con/manipulate me in...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

This evening- as my AB was getting himself good and drunk in celebration of it being Friday, he mentioned to me that a house we had previously looked at was up for rent again, and that he would like to take another look at it. Then he grew serious and said "I have a concern though. The house has a lot of s...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-My life got so hectic and busy and I have felt pressure from work, 90 yr old mom, son and spouse issues, etc., etc., etc. However, I have missed the board and hopefully can get back to checking in as I used to. Each day I couldn't get here I wondered howall wondered how everyone was doing and I wanted t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was at my physical therapy session and had the early good fortune of almost being one on one with my therapist which was cool. She is a young doctor and good at what she does and I was expressing honest gratitude. Over a bit of time others started to come into the place and I went from massage table to e...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me. I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning. A woman is lost...

DavidG · DavidG

I was at an AA open meeting a month or two ago. After the meeting I was talking to a younger member. She said that when she got a few things sorted out in AA she would like to come along to Alanon. I turned to her, and smiled. I said, as far as I was concerned, if you are sober on the day, you are welcome. It is mayb...

rehprof · rehprof

the exA is at a family cottage on a lake for a week. the 11 yo and 16 yo boys are with him. One of the 11 yo's friends couldn't come with him bc his mom is not comfortable with the exA. When my son left at the beginning of the week, it was okay bc another friend would be able to come visit on thurs. I don't know wha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am learning to face reality head on especially now that my mom is in the hospital & I am powerless over what happens to her from here. My hands are tied. My husband is her contact person not me. She chose him over me which I am finally getting over after less than a week. I am still at this point not talki...

neshema2 · neshema2

My issues, right now, are not alanon related....Its this financial fear, inability to find more income, depression and fighting off this financial fear.... Sadness and grief and yea, anger how my life could be taken from me and I kick myself for not knowing about alanon, coda till so late in my life...

John · John

Melly1248 · Melly1248

<- love this one, it's just perfect for today. What a night/morning. 'Scuse me posting a bit but it's really helping me stay focused to speak this stuff "out loud" and make myself face it. It's all much less confusing and stressful when I share it here because there's a clear path that I ne...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

So, first f2f meeting tomorrow at 1pm. I live in an extremely small town. There's one daytime and one night-time meeting per week. What if the people there don't like me? What if there is someone there from my daughter's school? One of the other parents? A teacher? What if someone sees me go in? The dog wo...

SunnySkies · SunnySkies

One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consi...

big dave · big dave

First timer on this forum. I am struggling with going down the same road again. Mom is reporting how good she is doing and asking for "another chance" but the last time I vowed not to deal with this ever again.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: In addition to checking in here for ESH several times a day, I have also been reading posts that I have started to pay attention to the progression of where I was when I came here at the start of 2012, and where I am today.. It has been helpful to see that I started as desperate, angry, bitter r...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, I am typing from my phone. My father texted me to advise that last night he got his second DUI. He didn't go into specifics but my sister, who lives with him, called to tell me. My dad texted me saying 'I **** up and got my 2nd dui. I am going to lose everything.' I am oddly serene about this. Feels...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Today I'm grateful to be alive and healthy and able to see things in another way. Today I choose to be happy and positive , I accept the fact that my husband is still sick and the fact he states he healthy, it's ok . Not to agree with it. I hold no resentment for Sunday night , if I had to go back and do that night o...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have worked really really hard on myself this last week or so. Taking care of me the best way I can. I have my ups and downs but reality has set in and I have come to terms with it all. Peace is setting in. Al-anon has been my rock.......and HP my savior. So.......I get another text today from my s...

simonpopcorn · simonpopcorn

I have been friends with this person for roughly six years. She has a history of reckless behavior growing up, which supposedly ended with the birth of her son, but in reality just changed to accommodate him. She has created an identity as a fearless person who never backs down from life (fun), and woul...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I was driving one day with my list of complaints neatly tucked into a brain's compartment to my doctor's office. A driver cut in front of me. On the back of his car bumper a sticker - "Stop Global Whining." By the time I got to the doctor's office and he asked how I was doing, my answer was: &q...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Hi All, I am new here. I have attended a few online meetings and one F2F meeting last week. My A husband was so angry that I went to a F2F meeting. He doesn't know about the online ones. He has been dry a week. This resulted from an incident in which he drank way too much, embarrassed himself, and embarr...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54653559/alanon-step-10/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 14th of Augus...

Mom2beans · Mom2beans

This has been coming for a while. We have 2 girls 7 and 8. My husband drinks like a fish, and is now mixing pain pills and alcohol. I have been begging and threatening him for a year to get help or we were leaving. I feel like all I have done for the past year is bitch. On my way home from work last Tuesday I call to...

recoverylove101 · recoverylove101

Hi everyone. I am a double dipper of both AA and Al Anon and I have completed the 12 steps in AA. My lover and I have been together for 3 years. He has recently gone to Al Anon, gotten a sponsor and begun the 12 steps. His father is in AA, his step father was a rage-a-holic and I am in AA (he is surrounded!). He rec...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

today I went to an Alanon open discussion mtg. this one older lady was sort of looking at me, just noticing me I guessed. I'm fairly new to that meeting. she spoke about God and how Alanon is a safe place. She seemed to be a more "senior member". what she said was met with widespread approval. i h...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I developed a pattern of rescuing ppeople at a fairly young age. as I got older my patterns became worse. I began to rescue abusive/unsafe guys. i always want the truth and am looking at this deeper. it believe it has to do with believing I am worthless and saving someone else to create my own self-esteem...

hisimage · hisimage

Is what my AH had to say to me last Friday. He is leaving for a week tomorrow and he thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes. I've been praying and pleading that I can get over myself and stop being so miserable. He sometimes will call me a sourpuss and he is right, I am. I don't want...

sandydv · sandydv

I am trtying so very hard to not cmpletley loose it, he has been so irritable moody miserable - am starting to come to the reallization he suffers from depresson and self mdicates with pot and booze I was awa on holiday with daughter without him for a week - I was looking forward to seeing him only to come...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight was the first time I've spoken with my son since his surgery mid-week. My fears for him included his return to drugs after receiving drugs for the surgery AND I stayed out of it. Let him handle his own stuff with the surgeon he found in ways unknown to me. Kept my mouth shut. Since that day, he h...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I realize I'm top-posting a lot today but want to finish off with Solution. I am realizing that my disease (esp the Adult Child stuff) causes me to get very upset easily. I take things personally and am highly sensitive. It is time for me to do another brief inventory. Once a year or so when I feel it build u...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Arriving home from the gym AH is on the phone with the cable company. We lost power and internet last night due to a big storm so on arriving home I learn that we still don't have internet, and the power was just restored. Apparently he has decided to call about the offer to have both cable and internet an...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Ive shared on this before, but am having a hard time accepting it. I feel like I am the one doing something wrong.Since I have come to al-anon, my attitude has changed for the better regarding who to socialize with. I find myself less insecure, not as argumentative, judgemental, I find I really dont car...

ohcarolina · ohcarolina

In a 3 year relationship with a recovering alcoholic...he is making great strides in his emotional recovery...coming back to Christ and his morals. In the process he has distanced himself from our relationship to get to a place of peace, expresses his love for me, but not sure of our future. I stood b...

andreaj · andreaj

Long time coming.. I suppose Feel very little support from friends but they all have their own ***** I suppose 9 years into watching someone really destroy themselves and watching my own drinking escalate Watching someone's health get worse- begging , pleading, ultimatums - I am sure you have hear...

Confused33 · Confused33

Hi, everyone. I posted some stuff under Amers (something, I can't remember) about 2 months ago. My update is I moved back in with my AH a month ago. We were separated. He got fired, however, and I felt so bad that I wanted to be a support for him. So I moved in and I told him that I will help him through thi...

willowtree · willowtree

I am going to be seeing my parents this weekend and camping with them. I feel so terrible physically because of the stress. I always try and be nice and invite others and now I wish I didn't because my anxiety leading up to it is so bad. I can barely clean my house and my body is hurting all over. I honestl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to make this real quick--a lot of you know that my mom has been sick. She is now in a psychiatric ward. She checked herself in but we had to take her to the hospital in the early morning hours so needless to say, I am exhausted & ready to get healthier myself. It was Saturday morning & I am st...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well I see threw the fog in my brain I see the slogans that are guiding me threw this crazy disease . I'm not sure how I'm doing it . It's like I'm being lead to the right place . My kids came back from nc 2 weeks ago and ah moved back in with out my invite . Dam that was a tought week for me.i hit every day meeting 3 we...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm going to try to say this the right way . I love al Alon I feel getting a little of what I need at this time to stay afloat . My ah spouse see the new healthy ways I been making and sure enough I new he would not like them. He started to make his own Boundarys for me to follow . He not liking it that I'm excited abou...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's been a good day so far. I'm putting together my new patio furniture and just stopped to get a bite to eat and something to drink. I check my phone and there is a text from my son. Quote: I have the ranch job...... OK......I don't even want to respond to his text. I think it will just give him hope...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I had an argument with my AM about her drinking and her denial about it. She was angry because she didn't want to talk about it and I was angry because this disease just robs myself and my family of the woman we used to know... its so painful to watch and experience. To top it off, I took a Statistics class f...

John · John

I wrote not so long ago, how big of a mess I was, and yes, I'm still a mess, just with a different perspective and a lot of gratitude. If my wealth were to be measured by what is in my pockets, I would qualify for the Federal Emergency Management Agency to step in! LMAO But my wealth is not in my pockets, its...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I'm sitting on my porch in a new old rocking chair I bought at one of the many garage sales around town this weekend, big sale weekend because its our one big event for this small town, parade and everything. There's a storm going on in the west, lightening (which makes the fire guys and wheat farmers nerv...

John · John

ANNE Morshead met her husband in a pub. Which is ironic, because alcohol eventually threatened to destroy their relationship."Anyone can become addicted if they drink enough for long enough," Anne told news.com.au. Her husband certainly did."He had a miserable Irish childhood, a father who wa...

LeeMarie · LeeMarie

Hi everyone. I've been going to F2F meetings since January and have yet to share. It's so hard for me because not only is my AH in denial, but I was in denial for more than 20 years. After much therapy and alanon, I've come to the decision of divorce. He would not leave voluntarily so I had to hire a lawy...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I had a great moment this afternoon. I was on my way to meet my daughter on her way home from school. I ride my bike, my devastatingly handsome dog runs along next to me and says hello to everyone we pass, and people smile and wave and make nice comments ("goodness what a lovely dog!), because he real...

neshema2 · neshema2

When my needs were not only not met, but sabotaged and attacked at home, I being the resourceful one, just went out and got my OWN family....It took some time, becuz its difficult for a 9 year old to get up and shop for a new family, but I did this in my teens.....You saw a picture of my missing sister Gini......

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had a phone conversation with my exAH tonight that took a bad turn. Reason number 1 was because he was drinking, reason number two because he is an active alcoholic. We were discussing getting together for a walk when I take the girls to him on Monday and discussing some things. I told him that I am unsur...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I was at the hospital much of today with my son. He was able to find his own surgeon, get to the hospital, get admitted today with no help from me although he was very glad to see me when I arrived. This morning, it felt like my HP was saying call the hospital. I did. Then, ask for his room. I did. Talk wi...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Hey All - been awhile since I've been here. Sort of funny - I actually got myself a 6-pack of girlie beers a few weeks ago. I drank the whole 6-pack over the course of about a week. My son comments, "Mom, you drank a lot of beers" when he saw the empty package in the recycle bin. AH will drink 10...

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

Well I have decided for the first time in 10 years to fix things with my mom, it is time to let go of the past and move on into the future and have a healthy bond, I am not saying best friends. I am wanting a understanding that yes we can talk and we can go hang out occasionally, however I am not ready for it all. I w...

BeachWife · BeachWife

Hello Everyone, First timer here. I'm not even sure what I want to say. I guess I can start with a little introduction about myself. I have been with my AH for 6 years. (lived together for 5 and married almost one year now.) I knew what I was getting into I suppose. But...ahem...I adore and love him. ...

Ruby1991 · Ruby1991

Hi, First of all let me introduce myself, I'm Ruby, from Hampshire. I am new to the site and looking for a bit of advice. I have been with fiance over 2 and a half years, we started our relationship when he was only 10 months sober, we took our time starting our relationship until we both knew that it was a goo...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Oh lordy...my AH is coming home. He has been working 600 miles away for a month, and has decided he is "too homesick" to stay out there. He will work overtime on Saturday, then stop by a union hall to update his welding papers, then be home on Tuesday.I am fighting very hard NOT to freak out. I do...

rehprof · rehprof

So, I have a new pup. When I first got her home 2 weeks ago, she was a biting, jumping, spazzy ball of puppy energy...she had never had any work done with her (she is about 5mos old). Today, she responds to recall off lead in my back yard, sits when asked, does not jump but only occasionally, and has basicall...

sweeetr · sweeetr

this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my n...

neshema2 · neshema2

In the old Coda days, I HAD to have someone around me....HATED to be alone....I guess I didnt like my own company, but being around the wrong people all my life, I could be in a room full of the old bio family and feel like I was soo alone....dead inside......OR with the AH#1....he would be home , always, af...

Phoenix312 · Phoenix312

do you have those times where all feels out of control? Like everything you learned in meetings doesn't work and you feel like just....nothing. I'm feeling like that right now. I don't have anymore fight in me, I'm tired of struggling. My abf is out of control and I feel like he's dragging me and my daug...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Perspectives (Preview) "True Ease and comfort are not found in a quiet,uneventful life. This may sound paradoxical, but hardships bring about ease and comfort. For only by establising strong individual lives capable of boldly challenging difficult obstacles can we find true Peace and security in this lifetime....	Bettina	1	241	Aug 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Does it ever end? (Preview) I can't take anymore. Do I have to take abuse? What do you do when you work and make too much for help, yet not enough to even pay house and ulities. I have serious health issues too. I'm 3 years from retirement and I have to keep my health insurance? I have faith in God but I have to be realistic too.	wings of a dove	6	496	Aug 17, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Feeling lost and empty! (Preview) It seems the better I get at detaching from my A/A's (daughter and her son), I feel spiritually disconnected from them, I know I still love them, but I mostly feel sadness/fear when I think of them, sad because of their bad choices/circumstances they are in and fear they will try to con/manipulate me in...	Highlyfavored	9	400	Aug 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	lol?? (Preview) This evening- as my AB was getting himself good and drunk in celebration of it being Friday, he mentioned to me that a house we had previously looked at was up for rent again, and that he would like to take another look at it. Then he grew serious and said "I have a concern though. The house has a lot of s...	Melly1248	9	370	Aug 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Didn't mean to take a break (Preview) Hi all-My life got so hectic and busy and I have felt pressure from work, 90 yr old mom, son and spouse issues, etc., etc., etc. However, I have missed the board and hopefully can get back to checking in as I used to. Each day I couldn't get here I wondered howall wondered how everyone was doing and I wanted t...	Lyne	4	289	Aug 17, 2013 by pinkchip
	Had to laugh.... (Preview) I was at my physical therapy session and had the early good fortune of almost being one on one with my therapist which was cool. She is a young doctor and good at what she does and I was expressing honest gratitude. Over a bit of time others started to come into the place and I went from massage table to e...	Jerry F	6	300	Aug 17, 2013 by Tasha
	Rowing (Preview) I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me. I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning. A woman is lost...	Melly1248	7	526	Aug 17, 2013 by Tasha
	You're welcome... (Preview) I was at an AA open meeting a month or two ago. After the meeting I was talking to a younger member. She said that when she got a few things sorted out in AA she would like to come along to Alanon. I turned to her, and smiled. I said, as far as I was concerned, if you are sober on the day, you are welcome. It is mayb...	DavidG	10	258	Aug 17, 2013 by DavidG
	kids and disappointment (Preview) the exA is at a family cottage on a lake for a week. the 11 yo and 16 yo boys are with him. One of the 11 yo's friends couldn't come with him bc his mom is not comfortable with the exA. When my son left at the beginning of the week, it was okay bc another friend would be able to come visit on thurs. I don't know wha...	rehprof	5	468	Aug 17, 2013 by abbyal
	facing reality head on. (Preview) I am learning to face reality head on especially now that my mom is in the hospital & I am powerless over what happens to her from here. My hands are tied. My husband is her contact person not me. She chose him over me which I am finally getting over after less than a week. I am still at this point not talki...	Hoot Nanny	2	379	Aug 17, 2013 by hotrod
	I , too, am taking a small break from the board.. (Preview) My issues, right now, are not alanon related....Its this financial fear, inability to find more income, depression and fighting off this financial fear.... Sadness and grief and yea, anger how my life could be taken from me and I kick myself for not knowing about alanon, coda till so late in my life...	neshema2	10	558	Aug 16, 2013 by Turris
	True Entertainment with a great message! (Preview)	John	7	619	Aug 16, 2013 by DavidG
	What a craptacular morning. (Preview) <- love this one, it's just perfect for today. What a night/morning. 'Scuse me posting a bit but it's really helping me stay focused to speak this stuff "out loud" and make myself face it. It's all much less confusing and stressful when I share it here because there's a clear path that I ne...	Melly1248	11	626	Aug 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	1st f2f tomorrow. (Preview) So, first f2f meeting tomorrow at 1pm. I live in an extremely small town. There's one daytime and one night-time meeting per week. What if the people there don't like me? What if there is someone there from my daughter's school? One of the other parents? A teacher? What if someone sees me go in? The dog wo...	Melly1248	15	471	Aug 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	How to deal with a disruptive mentally ill person during a meeting (Preview) One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consi...	SunnySkies	13	1058	Aug 16, 2013 by hotrod
	going back on ultimatums? (Preview) First timer on this forum. I am struggling with going down the same road again. Mom is reporting how good she is doing and asking for "another chance" but the last time I vowed not to deal with this ever again.	big dave	8	590	Aug 15, 2013 by DavidG
	looking back, forward and trying to live in the present (Preview) Hi Everybody: In addition to checking in here for ESH several times a day, I have also been reading posts that I have started to pay attention to the progression of where I was when I came here at the start of 2012, and where I am today.. It has been helpful to see that I started as desperate, angry, bitter r...	yanksfan51	10	414	Aug 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	My father got his 2nd DUI (Preview) Hi everyone, I am typing from my phone. My father texted me to advise that last night he got his second DUI. He didn't go into specifics but my sister, who lives with him, called to tell me. My dad texted me saying 'I **** up and got my 2nd dui. I am going to lose everything.' I am oddly serene about this. Feels...	slogan_jim	23	5014	Aug 15, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	What is wrong with me? (Preview) Today I'm grateful to be alive and healthy and able to see things in another way. Today I choose to be happy and positive , I accept the fact that my husband is still sick and the fact he states he healthy, it's ok . Not to agree with it. I hold no resentment for Sunday night , if I had to go back and do that night o...	Ms co-dependent	5	491	Aug 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Doing Better (Preview) Hi All I have worked really really hard on myself this last week or so. Taking care of me the best way I can. I have my ups and downs but reality has set in and I have come to terms with it all. Peace is setting in. Al-anon has been my rock.......and HP my savior. So.......I get another text today from my s...	Cathyinaz	8	291	Aug 15, 2013 by John
	Alcoholic/addict friend with cancer, how do I deal with that? cancer addiction pills friendship feelings alcohol trust boundaries (Preview) I have been friends with this person for roughly six years. She has a history of reckless behavior growing up, which supposedly ended with the birth of her son, but in reality just changed to accommodate him. She has created an identity as a fearless person who never backs down from life (fun), and woul...	simonpopcorn	8	9868	Aug 15, 2013 by maryjane
	Bumper sticker (Preview) I was driving one day with my list of complaints neatly tucked into a brain's compartment to my doctor's office. A driver cut in front of me. On the back of his car bumper a sticker - "Stop Global Whining." By the time I got to the doctor's office and he asked how I was doing, my answer was: &q...	grateful2be	11	420	Aug 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	AH dry but not in recovery (Preview) Hi All, I am new here. I have attended a few online meetings and one F2F meeting last week. My A husband was so angry that I went to a F2F meeting. He doesn't know about the online ones. He has been dry a week. This resulted from an incident in which he drank way too much, embarrassed himself, and embarr...	gingerfizz	16	582	Aug 14, 2013 by Jackie11
	STEP 10 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54653559/alanon-step-10/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 14th of Augus...	hotrod	2	2832	Aug 14, 2013 by hotrod
	New to this; just left my alcoholic husband (Preview) This has been coming for a while. We have 2 girls 7 and 8. My husband drinks like a fish, and is now mixing pain pills and alcohol. I have been begging and threatening him for a year to get help or we were leaving. I feel like all I have done for the past year is bitch. On my way home from work last Tuesday I call to...	Mom2beans	12	559	Aug 14, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Need some advice on how to support through Step 4 (Preview) Hi everyone. I am a double dipper of both AA and Al Anon and I have completed the 12 steps in AA. My lover and I have been together for 3 years. He has recently gone to Al Anon, gotten a sponsor and begun the 12 steps. His father is in AA, his step father was a rage-a-holic and I am in AA (he is surrounded!). He rec...	recoverylove101	10	1014	Aug 14, 2013 by recoverylove101
	Strange phenomenon in Meetings (Preview) today I went to an Alanon open discussion mtg. this one older lady was sort of looking at me, just noticing me I guessed. I'm fairly new to that meeting. she spoke about God and how Alanon is a safe place. She seemed to be a more "senior member". what she said was met with widespread approval. i h...	WorkingThroughIt	21	703	Aug 14, 2013 by John
	Rescuing People (Preview) I developed a pattern of rescuing ppeople at a fairly young age. as I got older my patterns became worse. I began to rescue abusive/unsafe guys. i always want the truth and am looking at this deeper. it believe it has to do with believing I am worthless and saving someone else to create my own self-esteem...	WorkingThroughIt	21	673	Aug 14, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Nice to see you smile (Preview) Is what my AH had to say to me last Friday. He is leaving for a week tomorrow and he thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes. I've been praying and pleading that I can get over myself and stop being so miserable. He sometimes will call me a sourpuss and he is right, I am. I don't want...	hisimage	5	381	Aug 14, 2013 by tiredtonite
	consrtant miserable self medicaring depressed husband (Preview) I am trtying so very hard to not cmpletley loose it, he has been so irritable moody miserable - am starting to come to the reallization he suffers from depresson and self mdicates with pot and booze I was awa on holiday with daughter without him for a week - I was looking forward to seeing him only to come...	sandydv	2	374	Aug 14, 2013 by PP
	My son - the wonder (Preview) Tonight was the first time I've spoken with my son since his surgery mid-week. My fears for him included his return to drugs after receiving drugs for the surgery AND I stayed out of it. Let him handle his own stuff with the surgeon he found in ways unknown to me. Kept my mouth shut. Since that day, he h...	grateful2be	9	474	Aug 14, 2013 by xeno59
	Why Being A "Victim" Is Awful (Preview) I realize I'm top-posting a lot today but want to finish off with Solution. I am realizing that my disease (esp the Adult Child stuff) causes me to get very upset easily. I take things personally and am highly sensitive. It is time for me to do another brief inventory. Once a year or so when I feel it build u...	WorkingThroughIt	14	1023	Aug 13, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Detachment (Preview) Arriving home from the gym AH is on the phone with the cable company. We lost power and internet last night due to a big storm so on arriving home I learn that we still don't have internet, and the power was just restored. Apparently he has decided to call about the offer to have both cable and internet an...	Jackie11	2	355	Aug 13, 2013 by PP
	I still can't get over this. (Preview) Ive shared on this before, but am having a hard time accepting it. I feel like I am the one doing something wrong.Since I have come to al-anon, my attitude has changed for the better regarding who to socialize with. I find myself less insecure, not as argumentative, judgemental, I find I really dont car...	slogan_jim	6	541	Aug 13, 2013 by abbyal
	Codependent and trying to Overcome (Preview) In a 3 year relationship with a recovering alcoholic...he is making great strides in his emotional recovery...coming back to Christ and his morals. In the process he has distanced himself from our relationship to get to a place of peace, expresses his love for me, but not sure of our future. I stood b...	ohcarolina	4	463	Aug 13, 2013 by ohcarolina
	I just felt unsafe... (Preview) Long time coming.. I suppose Feel very little support from friends but they all have their own ***** I suppose 9 years into watching someone really destroy themselves and watching my own drinking escalate Watching someone's health get worse- begging , pleading, ultimatums - I am sure you have hear...	andreaj	5	433	Aug 13, 2013 by PP
	Help. (Preview) Hi, everyone. I posted some stuff under Amers (something, I can't remember) about 2 months ago. My update is I moved back in with my AH a month ago. We were separated. He got fired, however, and I felt so bad that I wanted to be a support for him. So I moved in and I told him that I will help him through thi...	Confused33	12	507	Aug 13, 2013 by Confused33
	Going to be seeing my family this weekend -need strength (Preview) I am going to be seeing my parents this weekend and camping with them. I feel so terrible physically because of the stress. I always try and be nice and invite others and now I wish I didn't because my anxiety leading up to it is so bad. I can barely clean my house and my body is hurting all over. I honestl...	willowtree	5	390	Aug 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Things can only get better... (Preview) I am going to make this real quick--a lot of you know that my mom has been sick. She is now in a psychiatric ward. She checked herself in but we had to take her to the hospital in the early morning hours so needless to say, I am exhausted & ready to get healthier myself. It was Saturday morning & I am st...	Hoot Nanny	3	204	Aug 13, 2013 by hotrod
	Improving ms co-dependent ðŸ˜„ (Preview) Well I see threw the fog in my brain I see the slogans that are guiding me threw this crazy disease . I'm not sure how I'm doing it . It's like I'm being lead to the right place . My kids came back from nc 2 weeks ago and ah moved back in with out my invite . Dam that was a tought week for me.i hit every day meeting 3 we...	Ms co-dependent	11	491	Aug 13, 2013 by el-cee
	The fog is back (Preview) I'm going to try to say this the right way . I love al Alon I feel getting a little of what I need at this time to stay afloat . My ah spouse see the new healthy ways I been making and sure enough I new he would not like them. He started to make his own Boundarys for me to follow . He not liking it that I'm excited abou...	Ms co-dependent	6	492	Aug 13, 2013 by Aloha
	Text (Preview) It's been a good day so far. I'm putting together my new patio furniture and just stopped to get a bite to eat and something to drink. I check my phone and there is a text from my son. Quote: I have the ranch job...... OK......I don't even want to respond to his text. I think it will just give him hope...	Cathyinaz	16	617	Aug 12, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Argument with my in denial AM and failed my Statistics class (Preview) I had an argument with my AM about her drinking and her denial about it. She was angry because she didn't want to talk about it and I was angry because this disease just robs myself and my family of the woman we used to know... its so painful to watch and experience. To top it off, I took a Statistics class f...	phoenixmagicgirl	9	494	Aug 12, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Good Morning, join me for a cup of coffee? (Preview) I wrote not so long ago, how big of a mess I was, and yes, I'm still a mess, just with a different perspective and a lot of gratitude. If my wealth were to be measured by what is in my pockets, I would qualify for the Federal Emergency Management Agency to step in! LMAO But my wealth is not in my pockets, its...	John	7	515	Aug 12, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Another Saturday Night (Preview) I'm sitting on my porch in a new old rocking chair I bought at one of the many garage sales around town this weekend, big sale weekend because its our one big event for this small town, parade and everything. There's a storm going on in the west, lightening (which makes the fire guys and wheat farmers nerv...	likemyheart	6	501	Aug 12, 2013 by likemyheart
	Anne M article I found in online newspaper (Preview) ANNE Morshead met her husband in a pub. Which is ironic, because alcohol eventually threatened to destroy their relationship."Anyone can become addicted if they drink enough for long enough," Anne told news.com.au. Her husband certainly did."He had a miserable Irish childhood, a father who wa...	John	17	530	Aug 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	First Time Sharing (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been going to F2F meetings since January and have yet to share. It's so hard for me because not only is my AH in denial, but I was in denial for more than 20 years. After much therapy and alanon, I've come to the decision of divorce. He would not leave voluntarily so I had to hire a lawy...	LeeMarie	8	460	Aug 12, 2013 by Mimi3
	Enjoying freedom. (Preview) I had a great moment this afternoon. I was on my way to meet my daughter on her way home from school. I ride my bike, my devastatingly handsome dog runs along next to me and says hello to everyone we pass, and people smile and wave and make nice comments ("goodness what a lovely dog!), because he real...	Melly1248	8	496	Aug 11, 2013 by likemyheart
	family (Preview) When my needs were not only not met, but sabotaged and attacked at home, I being the resourceful one, just went out and got my OWN family....It took some time, becuz its difficult for a 9 year old to get up and shop for a new family, but I did this in my teens.....You saw a picture of my missing sister Gini......	neshema2	4	383	Aug 11, 2013 by qwerty49
	Not sure if I boarded the crazy train, but I went to the station (Preview) I had a phone conversation with my exAH tonight that took a bad turn. Reason number 1 was because he was drinking, reason number two because he is an active alcoholic. We were discussing getting together for a walk when I take the girls to him on Monday and discussing some things. I told him that I am unsur...	Breakingfree	15	588	Aug 11, 2013 by tortuga
	Son update (Preview) I was at the hospital much of today with my son. He was able to find his own surgeon, get to the hospital, get admitted today with no help from me although he was very glad to see me when I arrived. This morning, it felt like my HP was saying call the hospital. I did. Then, ask for his room. I did. Talk wi...	grateful2be	12	294	Aug 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mom - you drank a lot of beers! (Preview) Hey All - been awhile since I've been here. Sort of funny - I actually got myself a 6-pack of girlie beers a few weeks ago. I drank the whole 6-pack over the course of about a week. My son comments, "Mom, you drank a lot of beers" when he saw the empty package in the recycle bin. AH will drink 10...	Hot Chicka	15	484	Aug 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	me and my mom (Preview) Well I have decided for the first time in 10 years to fix things with my mom, it is time to let go of the past and move on into the future and have a healthy bond, I am not saying best friends. I am wanting a understanding that yes we can talk and we can go hang out occasionally, however I am not ready for it all. I w...	Tiff5484	5	389	Aug 10, 2013 by slogan_jim
	New here...Hello All! (Preview) Hello Everyone, First timer here. I'm not even sure what I want to say. I guess I can start with a little introduction about myself. I have been with my AH for 6 years. (lived together for 5 and married almost one year now.) I knew what I was getting into I suppose. But...ahem...I adore and love him. ...	BeachWife	8	497	Aug 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	Newcomer, advice wanted. (Preview) Hi, First of all let me introduce myself, I'm Ruby, from Hampshire. I am new to the site and looking for a bit of advice. I have been with fiance over 2 and a half years, we started our relationship when he was only 10 months sober, we took our time starting our relationship until we both knew that it was a goo...	Ruby1991	14	621	Aug 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	HP, I need you! (Preview) Oh lordy...my AH is coming home. He has been working 600 miles away for a month, and has decided he is "too homesick" to stay out there. He will work overtime on Saturday, then stop by a union hall to update his welding papers, then be home on Tuesday.I am fighting very hard NOT to freak out. I do...	stephaniej	5	458	Aug 10, 2013 by Pushka
	A Dog Epiphany (Preview) So, I have a new pup. When I first got her home 2 weeks ago, she was a biting, jumping, spazzy ball of puppy energy...she had never had any work done with her (she is about 5mos old). Today, she responds to recall off lead in my back yard, sits when asked, does not jump but only occasionally, and has basicall...	rehprof	7	501	Aug 10, 2013 by Breakingfree
	holding ground (Preview) this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my n...	sweeetr	8	376	Aug 10, 2013 by Pushka
	Alone but not lonely (Preview) In the old Coda days, I HAD to have someone around me....HATED to be alone....I guess I didnt like my own company, but being around the wrong people all my life, I could be in a room full of the old bio family and feel like I was soo alone....dead inside......OR with the AH#1....he would be home , always, af...	neshema2	3	224	Aug 10, 2013 by PP
	Desperate (Preview) do you have those times where all feels out of control? Like everything you learned in meetings doesn't work and you feel like just....nothing. I'm feeling like that right now. I don't have anymore fight in me, I'm tired of struggling. My abf is out of control and I feel like he's dragging me and my daug...	Phoenix312	10	424	Aug 10, 2013 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.