Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

neshema2 · neshema2

When my needs were not only not met, but sabotaged and attacked at home, I being the resourceful one, just went out and got my OWN family....It took some time, becuz its difficult for a 9 year old to get up and shop for a new family, but I did this in my teens.....You saw a picture of my missing sister Gini......

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had a phone conversation with my exAH tonight that took a bad turn. Reason number 1 was because he was drinking, reason number two because he is an active alcoholic. We were discussing getting together for a walk when I take the girls to him on Monday and discussing some things. I told him that I am unsur...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I was at the hospital much of today with my son. He was able to find his own surgeon, get to the hospital, get admitted today with no help from me although he was very glad to see me when I arrived. This morning, it felt like my HP was saying call the hospital. I did. Then, ask for his room. I did. Talk wi...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Hey All - been awhile since I've been here. Sort of funny - I actually got myself a 6-pack of girlie beers a few weeks ago. I drank the whole 6-pack over the course of about a week. My son comments, "Mom, you drank a lot of beers" when he saw the empty package in the recycle bin. AH will drink 10...

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

Well I have decided for the first time in 10 years to fix things with my mom, it is time to let go of the past and move on into the future and have a healthy bond, I am not saying best friends. I am wanting a understanding that yes we can talk and we can go hang out occasionally, however I am not ready for it all. I w...

BeachWife · BeachWife

Hello Everyone, First timer here. I'm not even sure what I want to say. I guess I can start with a little introduction about myself. I have been with my AH for 6 years. (lived together for 5 and married almost one year now.) I knew what I was getting into I suppose. But...ahem...I adore and love him. ...

Ruby1991 · Ruby1991

Hi, First of all let me introduce myself, I'm Ruby, from Hampshire. I am new to the site and looking for a bit of advice. I have been with fiance over 2 and a half years, we started our relationship when he was only 10 months sober, we took our time starting our relationship until we both knew that it was a goo...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Oh lordy...my AH is coming home. He has been working 600 miles away for a month, and has decided he is "too homesick" to stay out there. He will work overtime on Saturday, then stop by a union hall to update his welding papers, then be home on Tuesday.I am fighting very hard NOT to freak out. I do...

rehprof · rehprof

So, I have a new pup. When I first got her home 2 weeks ago, she was a biting, jumping, spazzy ball of puppy energy...she had never had any work done with her (she is about 5mos old). Today, she responds to recall off lead in my back yard, sits when asked, does not jump but only occasionally, and has basicall...

sweeetr · sweeetr

this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my n...

neshema2 · neshema2

In the old Coda days, I HAD to have someone around me....HATED to be alone....I guess I didnt like my own company, but being around the wrong people all my life, I could be in a room full of the old bio family and feel like I was soo alone....dead inside......OR with the AH#1....he would be home , always, af...

Phoenix312 · Phoenix312

do you have those times where all feels out of control? Like everything you learned in meetings doesn't work and you feel like just....nothing. I'm feeling like that right now. I don't have anymore fight in me, I'm tired of struggling. My abf is out of control and I feel like he's dragging me and my daug...

John · John

I hate to put these notifications out here, but we are currently 25.00 in arrears on our message board cost, and that will only bring us current. Anyone who can donate a few dollars to help offset the cost of this expense, please consider doing so as soon asap. Any surplus will be used to pay it in advanc...

SerenitySoon · SerenitySoon

I really had to get to a meeting last night. Emotional day- son turned 40 and he's in the throes of a separation- happy birthday to him, eh? Anyway, I needed to be with other Alanon folk and I have the luxury of having 2 meetings from which to choose. One is far closer to me than the one I usually go to which is o...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. court was interesting and it wasn't good however it wasn't bad. I didn't get the OP extended to the kids .. that's ok .. I've now been able to document that I've been trying to AND I was able to extend MY OP to the 29th of this month with a status update. So really .. NOTHING will happen at that date....

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Not here of course :) but over time I am getting the impression that many who just 'havn't liked me' and I've done nothing wrong to, is because of my constant whining and just lack of positivity. I am starting to notice this now. In life, I am definite late bloomer and felt like I sat back and watched as ever...

AngieP · AngieP

I haven't posted about my situation in quite sometime. I moved out of the cohabitation w/ Afiance Nov 2012 after violent attack (truly the 1st towards me) he had only hurt himself prior. He has gotten sober, worked a good program, but of course the occasional crazy making goes on. I really want to just w...

neshema2 · neshema2

Did my A's help me attract good friends??? NO!! Did they ruin potential good friendships b/c my friends could not handle the chaos and drama??? YES!!! OR did I just give up bringing kids (when child) and friends (when married) home to avoid the inevitable???? YEP!!! What did the A's in my life do re:...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've had some time to process since my Tuesday appointment this week left me in a strange emotional place. 2 weeks ago on Saturday evening my AH acted like an A, and while I've learned to drop the rope, and the conversation ended fairly quickly I was still left frustrated by what had been said, and the apo...

Phyllis · Phyllis

I have been dating a man for a year who claims he is a heavy drinker. We have a great relationship, have a lot in common, finish each others sentences, travel well together and for a senior citizens we enjoy a good physical relationship. What bothers me the most is the anxiety of incoherent text, phone ca...

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

I have been in alanon for 2 months and I need someone to sponsor me... if anyone has been in the program a while and is doing good in their recovery I would like a sponsor

1976love · 1976love

Boy oh boy, I am having a bad week. I have settled in to the fact that my husband will be going to a bachelor party this weekend and going to a strip club and I have to focus on him being an alcoholic and bad things can happen no matter where he goes. So while he has his fun at the bachelor party the soon to be wif...

neshema2 · neshema2

I know.WAAAAY of topic I have a bad back....muscle and soft tissue issues from eons of physical abuse and I think the ptsd added the back spasms that I have had since 1993.....the first ever attack (spasm) was so bad the muscle, I think tore and bled......I had to go to dr. to get sonar treatments on it to g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have discovered that I have to slow down now & always. I am so stressed but mostly because I am tired. I have not been able to resolve any of my issues but at least I can see that it is possible. I have to let things go! I am so grateful for the program because w/o it I wouldn't have as much support as I do. To...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH and I were doing better. Yesterday was a day like old times, we went for a drive, browsed at the flea market, went for a nice lunch, we laughed and held hands. And then today he went to a morning meeting and was 2 hours late coming home. He did his usual routine, came in the back door and went straight to t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Every year AH qualifies for a sales incentive trip. Last year I didn't go with him on his trip to Costa Rica, this year I've turned down the trip to St Thomas. He is taking it quite personally this time around and thinks that I'm embarrassing him by not going. On last year's trip he apparently got plast...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but t...

neshema2 · neshema2

GIVE...but check my motives and make sure it is purely out of love and do NOT allow me to get used anymore.....do it w/my eyes open and sure...Its great to give, but when does Giving become enabling or being used??? I have really come far in this... Love..Love is what makes the world go round for me...Lov...

neshema2 · neshema2

Ok...for me the wishbone is visualizing those "doable" wants and needs that I don't have as yet.......its ok to "wish" "dream" visualize, but sometimes I get up in the stratosphere, and slowly I am making my "wish bone" more realistic Backbone??? ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I hope this helps, not sure where I got it. Hello. As a recovering Alcoholic, I too struggled for years with the acceptance of Alcoholism being a disease...because I had always been taught it had to do with being weak willed,etc. How many times I cried out to God to free me of this horrible desire,crave,...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Jerry's recent post about giving it away and BreakingFree's post about her neighborhood had me thinking at odd times when I'm allowed the luxury of uninterrupted thought. (Like when I'm driving). In my thinking, the two separate posts, speak to the same thing, giving it away. Remember the song, or p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I went from paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it and you can't Control it. QTIP ~ Quit taking it personally Let Go and Let God S-save M-mother O-obsess O-own T-take abuse H-HP (be his or l...

neshema2 · neshema2

Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments... Now some "expectatio...

rehprof · rehprof

Yesterday the exAH spent the day at my home with the kids. I had work to do so I stuck around. The kids have set up this big airsoft course...and the ex had bought new guns and equipment..including an expensive mask for my 11 YO. This with no job, no place to live...living with his sister. And of course he ca...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am looking at one of my character defects and am still trying to put into action handing it over. I come from addict/alcoholic parents and I am so proud that I did not follow suit. My brother drank growing up and I cleaned up after him and of course I grew up and married an A. I have now been divorced from ex...

4my2kids · 4my2kids

So my ex got out of the hospital/psych unit last week. Tonight daughter and I stopped the hotel so he could give me school supply money for daughter and she wanted to see his "apartment" ( he has been at an extended stay hotel for a month). Of course I immediately notice he had drank today despi...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok I'm not going to lie .. I'm terrified .. I don't know what to expect. The offer letter that his atty sent was horrific .. and at the very end basically what was implied not stated is that my kids are horrible brats and that they left that Friday not because their dad was drunk .. because they weren't gett...

sadsusie · sadsusie

My AH has been given privileges in his first week of rehab. He has snuck a phone call to me at 6:30AM. And His counselor let him call me today. Primarily because he was not able (no real idea why) to get online access to our scottrade account. I assume that online access was special too. I was shocked to he...

afglin · afglin

Yesterday I made a God Can. I had bought a little can of peanuts at wal mart for $1 and saved the can. I covered the top with strips of marble-like contact paper. (Strips overlap and smooth better than just one piece.) THen I covered the sides and cut a slit in the top with an x-acto. On the top I wrote with sha...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For once in my life when a friend had an awkward situation happen to him today I didn't jump in with what I thought happened, how difficult it was (it definitely was) and what I think really happened. He certainly did that to me a year ago and I can't say it helped one bit. But then there is a reason he is my f...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, just been writing out some of my amends I intend to make over the next couple of weeks feels good this cleaning house. I am on step 10 and have just developed my own personal checklist for the end of each day I am also going to purchase a new journal and build this activity into my daily routine. At th...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have heard in many meetings that the AA big book is not Al-Anon conference approved literature. This subject was brought up again last night at a meeting. I have been in this wonderful program for a short five years and have yet to see it in print. I have heard it many times but don't remember seeing...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, as I mentioned in my first post, I used to do more than my share of drinking too, so I never really thought too deeply about his- because- well I guess I would have had to look at myself too. So I rescued and argued and felt the stress of being "the responsible one" while he blamed and failed...

DebraAnnRegan · DebraAnnRegan

My boyfriend is a drunk. He drinks 151. Full pints. Whats more he gets violent sometimes whens hes drunk and I left him tonight cause he wanted to go get another pint and was already toasted. Whats worse is that the last time he drank two or three pints he got real violent and hurt my teenagers. That was a ye...

Bettina · Bettina

"Whatever you are not changing, You are choosing." Laurie Buchannon

grateful2be · grateful2be

On Saturday, my organization treated families to a sightseeing trip and then a trip to the beach for a day. One family that I had met early on in my work all went together. The Mom was in her late twenties and her only son at that time young. I lost track of them for awhile and then the Mom resurfaced with t...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I need some E/S/H. Haven't spoken with my son in weeks - not since I called him and he was slurring his words, then jailed, then on the streets, then in a supervised residence, now it seems back at the place he was staying and then arrested for whatever led to it. He came to my office this week and my assist...

hisimage · hisimage

I've never been to an Al anon meeting nor has my AH been to AA. As my Husband would say: I "have just enough information to make me dangerous". I'm under the impression that because my husband owns a successful company, has hobbies, well known and respected in the community and a member of a c...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My relationship with my father saddens me. I am coming closer to really accepting it though, at least I think I am. Because it recreates itself with others in my own adult life, it had to be completely accepted. My father has done everything possible to see that I won't recover after going through the s...

swood31 · swood31

I've attended 3 Al-Anon meetings so far & I guess it just hasn't clicked yet. Everyone is so vague with their sharing. I haven't really heard any real scenarios & how we should handle them. I'm not sure how to NOT worry and be concerned for my husband when he could very well die. On the subject of d...

Venera · Venera

I hope I didn't overwhelemed this forum with all the questions, but here is one more. My frined is doing a baby shower for me this weekend, which is Very nice of her, but she has 3 small children and a husband that likes to drink. So while we will be in her house with the girls, she wants to send her husband wi...

tortuga · tortuga

and we are back in the abuse again. It's not that i didn't see it coming. I just hoped for a while there could be a different outcome, this time. a lesson repeats itself until it is learned and internalized, right! So I separated from A, he moved out, and i try to move on. 2 days ago we settle on a friendly fare...

JustMe2013 · JustMe2013

Hi there, this is going to be a long first post...Hang in there! AH is finally in AA (30 days sober on Monday!) I went to my first face to face alanon meeting last Tues, and am going to try another this Thurs. I have codependency issues from far before meeting my DH. I detached about 6 months ago from him...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

First got a text message of somebody with a really broken face. No nose, chin and two black eyes. That be my son. I then got the call......crying still getting sober and lost in his alcoholism. So sad and pitiful. Just got out of the hospital I asked about him going to the ranch and he proceeded to te...

John · John

Better Days Are Ahead! Before you go any further reading this, take a deep breath and release it. Do it twice. Then read below... I know from personal experience the sorrow your heart feels. I know that right now, you have more questions than answers. I know what it feels like to hold my breath throughou...

neshema2 · neshema2

"looking for love/happiness in all the wrong places"....that old song, "looking for love" it was the big song in Urban cowboy....I so related to it....I used to go to bars, singles places, anywhere to find love, and it evaded me...I didn't love me so I didn't attract love fro...

sadsusie · sadsusie

PREFACE: I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decisions) had escalated to the point where he was putting me in danger as far at the people who were in my home...and I was putting my self in danger because I was at an emotional breaking point from the stress of his behavior as...

1976love · 1976love

Hello all, Sorry it's been a very long time sice I visited you. This disease is tricky, just when you think you are doing good...SMACK, HP brings you back to some more testing. My AH just can't have enough courage to let his old friend vodka leave his side. So, I am letting him live his tortured life and...

oldergal · oldergal

"When the pain of where you are, is greater than the fear of where you will be, you will move" I have read this before I think on this board and I do believe it gets down to the some real roots of life, I don't take credit for it, but I do think it is worth repeating and thinking about, especially wh...

oldergal · oldergal

Or are they just drinking and can't control their emotions? When they sober-up doesn't that change a lot of times? And are people really depressed or is that an over used word? What do you think? oldergal

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	family (Preview) When my needs were not only not met, but sabotaged and attacked at home, I being the resourceful one, just went out and got my OWN family....It took some time, becuz its difficult for a 9 year old to get up and shop for a new family, but I did this in my teens.....You saw a picture of my missing sister Gini......	neshema2	4	313	Aug 11, 2013 by qwerty49
	Not sure if I boarded the crazy train, but I went to the station (Preview) I had a phone conversation with my exAH tonight that took a bad turn. Reason number 1 was because he was drinking, reason number two because he is an active alcoholic. We were discussing getting together for a walk when I take the girls to him on Monday and discussing some things. I told him that I am unsur...	Breakingfree	15	525	Aug 11, 2013 by tortuga
	Son update (Preview) I was at the hospital much of today with my son. He was able to find his own surgeon, get to the hospital, get admitted today with no help from me although he was very glad to see me when I arrived. This morning, it felt like my HP was saying call the hospital. I did. Then, ask for his room. I did. Talk wi...	grateful2be	12	230	Aug 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mom - you drank a lot of beers! (Preview) Hey All - been awhile since I've been here. Sort of funny - I actually got myself a 6-pack of girlie beers a few weeks ago. I drank the whole 6-pack over the course of about a week. My son comments, "Mom, you drank a lot of beers" when he saw the empty package in the recycle bin. AH will drink 10...	Hot Chicka	15	419	Aug 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	me and my mom (Preview) Well I have decided for the first time in 10 years to fix things with my mom, it is time to let go of the past and move on into the future and have a healthy bond, I am not saying best friends. I am wanting a understanding that yes we can talk and we can go hang out occasionally, however I am not ready for it all. I w...	Tiff5484	5	324	Aug 10, 2013 by slogan_jim
	New here...Hello All! (Preview) Hello Everyone, First timer here. I'm not even sure what I want to say. I guess I can start with a little introduction about myself. I have been with my AH for 6 years. (lived together for 5 and married almost one year now.) I knew what I was getting into I suppose. But...ahem...I adore and love him. ...	BeachWife	8	433	Aug 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	Newcomer, advice wanted. (Preview) Hi, First of all let me introduce myself, I'm Ruby, from Hampshire. I am new to the site and looking for a bit of advice. I have been with fiance over 2 and a half years, we started our relationship when he was only 10 months sober, we took our time starting our relationship until we both knew that it was a goo...	Ruby1991	14	553	Aug 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	HP, I need you! (Preview) Oh lordy...my AH is coming home. He has been working 600 miles away for a month, and has decided he is "too homesick" to stay out there. He will work overtime on Saturday, then stop by a union hall to update his welding papers, then be home on Tuesday.I am fighting very hard NOT to freak out. I do...	stephaniej	5	396	Aug 10, 2013 by Pushka
	A Dog Epiphany (Preview) So, I have a new pup. When I first got her home 2 weeks ago, she was a biting, jumping, spazzy ball of puppy energy...she had never had any work done with her (she is about 5mos old). Today, she responds to recall off lead in my back yard, sits when asked, does not jump but only occasionally, and has basicall...	rehprof	7	436	Aug 10, 2013 by Breakingfree
	holding ground (Preview) this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my n...	sweeetr	8	311	Aug 10, 2013 by Pushka
	Alone but not lonely (Preview) In the old Coda days, I HAD to have someone around me....HATED to be alone....I guess I didnt like my own company, but being around the wrong people all my life, I could be in a room full of the old bio family and feel like I was soo alone....dead inside......OR with the AH#1....he would be home , always, af...	neshema2	3	157	Aug 10, 2013 by PP
	Desperate (Preview) do you have those times where all feels out of control? Like everything you learned in meetings doesn't work and you feel like just....nothing. I'm feeling like that right now. I don't have anymore fight in me, I'm tired of struggling. My abf is out of control and I feel like he's dragging me and my daug...	Phoenix312	10	358	Aug 10, 2013 by neshema2
	Donations for Board needed (Preview) I hate to put these notifications out here, but we are currently 25.00 in arrears on our message board cost, and that will only bring us current. Anyone who can donate a few dollars to help offset the cost of this expense, please consider doing so as soon asap. Any surplus will be used to pay it in advanc...	John	10	459	Aug 10, 2013 by neshema2
	My HP at Work (Preview) I really had to get to a meeting last night. Emotional day- son turned 40 and he's in the throes of a separation- happy birthday to him, eh? Anyway, I needed to be with other Alanon folk and I have the luxury of having 2 meetings from which to choose. One is far closer to me than the one I usually go to which is o...	SerenitySoon	1	209	Aug 9, 2013 by neshema2
	Court Update :) (Preview) Well, .. court was interesting and it wasn't good however it wasn't bad. I didn't get the OP extended to the kids .. that's ok .. I've now been able to document that I've been trying to AND I was able to extend MY OP to the 29th of this month with a status update. So really .. NOTHING will happen at that date....	Pushka	6	207	Aug 9, 2013 by stephaniej
	I think my whining has turned some people off (Preview) Not here of course :) but over time I am getting the impression that many who just 'havn't liked me' and I've done nothing wrong to, is because of my constant whining and just lack of positivity. I am starting to notice this now. In life, I am definite late bloomer and felt like I sat back and watched as ever...	slogan_jim	8	676	Aug 9, 2013 by Debilyn
	On total overload (Preview) I haven't posted about my situation in quite sometime. I moved out of the cohabitation w/ Afiance Nov 2012 after violent attack (truly the 1st towards me) he had only hurt himself prior. He has gotten sober, worked a good program, but of course the occasional crazy making goes on. I really want to just w...	AngieP	9	626	Aug 9, 2013 by Debilyn
	A healthy relationship will never...................... (Preview) Did my A's help me attract good friends??? NO!! Did they ruin potential good friendships b/c my friends could not handle the chaos and drama??? YES!!! OR did I just give up bringing kids (when child) and friends (when married) home to avoid the inevitable???? YEP!!! What did the A's in my life do re:...	neshema2	4	294	Aug 9, 2013 by sweeetr
	Processing (Preview) I've had some time to process since my Tuesday appointment this week left me in a strange emotional place. 2 weeks ago on Saturday evening my AH acted like an A, and while I've learned to drop the rope, and the conversation ended fairly quickly I was still left frustrated by what had been said, and the apo...	Jackie11	3	316	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	new to the forum and can use advice (Preview) I have been dating a man for a year who claims he is a heavy drinker. We have a great relationship, have a lot in common, finish each others sentences, travel well together and for a senior citizens we enjoy a good physical relationship. What bothers me the most is the anxiety of incoherent text, phone ca...	Phyllis	7	1188	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	I am looking for a sponsor (Preview) I have been in alanon for 2 months and I need someone to sponsor me... if anyone has been in the program a while and is doing good in their recovery I would like a sponsor	Tiff5484	5	858	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	are you kidding me, I wasn't even looking for it (Preview) Boy oh boy, I am having a bad week. I have settled in to the fact that my husband will be going to a bachelor party this weekend and going to a strip club and I have to focus on him being an alcoholic and bad things can happen no matter where he goes. So while he has his fun at the bachelor party the soon to be wif...	1976love	11	396	Aug 9, 2013 by grateful2be
	tennis ball acupuncture????? (Preview) I know.WAAAAY of topic I have a bad back....muscle and soft tissue issues from eons of physical abuse and I think the ptsd added the back spasms that I have had since 1993.....the first ever attack (spasm) was so bad the muscle, I think tore and bled......I had to go to dr. to get sonar treatments on it to g...	neshema2	4	398	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	so much to say so little time... (Preview) I have discovered that I have to slow down now & always. I am so stressed but mostly because I am tired. I have not been able to resolve any of my issues but at least I can see that it is possible. I have to let things go! I am so grateful for the program because w/o it I wouldn't have as much support as I do. To...	Hoot Nanny	3	243	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	Stay Out of the Basement (Preview) AH and I were doing better. Yesterday was a day like old times, we went for a drive, browsed at the flea market, went for a nice lunch, we laughed and held hands. And then today he went to a morning meeting and was 2 hours late coming home. He did his usual routine, came in the back door and went straight to t...	ParisMemories	11	666	Aug 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Turned down a trip to St Thomas (Preview) Every year AH qualifies for a sales incentive trip. Last year I didn't go with him on his trip to Costa Rica, this year I've turned down the trip to St Thomas. He is taking it quite personally this time around and thinks that I'm embarrassing him by not going. On last year's trip he apparently got plast...	ilovedogs	10	386	Aug 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Love that I found this, a must read, I could never have said it so eloquently! (Preview) Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but t...	Breakingfree	4	289	Aug 9, 2013 by rehprof
	I think it boils down to discernment (Preview) GIVE...but check my motives and make sure it is purely out of love and do NOT allow me to get used anymore.....do it w/my eyes open and sure...Its great to give, but when does Giving become enabling or being used??? I have really come far in this... Love..Love is what makes the world go round for me...Lov...	neshema2	2	284	Aug 8, 2013 by PP
	another 3 things good for recovery (Preview) Ok...for me the wishbone is visualizing those "doable" wants and needs that I don't have as yet.......its ok to "wish" "dream" visualize, but sometimes I get up in the stratosphere, and slowly I am making my "wish bone" more realistic Backbone??? ...	neshema2	3	324	Aug 8, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I saw this this morning and wanted to share here (Preview) I hope this helps, not sure where I got it. Hello. As a recovering Alcoholic, I too struggled for years with the acceptance of Alcoholism being a disease...because I had always been taught it had to do with being weak willed,etc. How many times I cried out to God to free me of this horrible desire,crave,...	Breakingfree	4	331	Aug 8, 2013 by Jackie11
	Musing - Giving Love Away (Preview) Jerry's recent post about giving it away and BreakingFree's post about her neighborhood had me thinking at odd times when I'm allowed the luxury of uninterrupted thought. (Like when I'm driving). In my thinking, the two separate posts, speak to the same thing, giving it away. Remember the song, or p...	likemyheart	9	423	Aug 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Slogans anyone (Preview) I went from paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it and you can't Control it. QTIP ~ Quit taking it personally Let Go and Let God S-save M-mother O-obsess O-own T-take abuse H-HP (be his or l...	Breakingfree	10	445	Aug 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	expectations (Preview) Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments... Now some "expectatio...	neshema2	6	233	Aug 8, 2013 by neshema2
	I'm fresh out of serenity... (Preview) Yesterday the exAH spent the day at my home with the kids. I had work to do so I stuck around. The kids have set up this big airsoft course...and the ex had bought new guns and equipment..including an expensive mask for my 11 YO. This with no job, no place to live...living with his sister. And of course he ca...	rehprof	7	432	Aug 8, 2013 by rehprof
	Me~ Self righteous? (Preview) I am looking at one of my character defects and am still trying to put into action handing it over. I come from addict/alcoholic parents and I am so proud that I did not follow suit. My brother drank growing up and I cleaned up after him and of course I grew up and married an A. I have now been divorced from ex...	Breakingfree	17	768	Aug 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	He has progressed to having the shakes (Preview) So my ex got out of the hospital/psych unit last week. Tonight daughter and I stopped the hotel so he could give me school supply money for daughter and she wanted to see his "apartment" ( he has been at an extended stay hotel for a month). Of course I immediately notice he had drank today despi...	4my2kids	7	414	Aug 8, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Court tomorrow .. (Preview) Ok I'm not going to lie .. I'm terrified .. I don't know what to expect. The offer letter that his atty sent was horrific .. and at the very end basically what was implied not stated is that my kids are horrible brats and that they left that Friday not because their dad was drunk .. because they weren't gett...	Pushka	13	472	Aug 8, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	trying to makes sense of it all while AH is in Rehab (Preview) My AH has been given privileges in his first week of rehab. He has snuck a phone call to me at 6:30AM. And His counselor let him call me today. Primarily because he was not able (no real idea why) to get online access to our scottrade account. I assume that online access was special too. I was shocked to he...	sadsusie	6	332	Aug 8, 2013 by Bettina
	God Can (Preview) Yesterday I made a God Can. I had bought a little can of peanuts at wal mart for $1 and saved the can. I covered the top with strips of marble-like contact paper. (Strips overlap and smooth better than just one piece.) THen I covered the sides and cut a slit in the top with an x-acto. On the top I wrote with sha...	afglin	8	189	Aug 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	Knowing what others need. (Preview) For once in my life when a friend had an awkward situation happen to him today I didn't jump in with what I thought happened, how difficult it was (it definitely was) and what I think really happened. He certainly did that to me a year ago and I can't say it helped one bit. But then there is a reason he is my f...	orchidlover	9	392	Aug 8, 2013 by bud
	Steps (Preview) Hi All, just been writing out some of my amends I intend to make over the next couple of weeks feels good this cleaning house. I am on step 10 and have just developed my own personal checklist for the end of each day I am also going to purchase a new journal and build this activity into my daily routine. At th...	Tracy	4	198	Aug 7, 2013 by hotrod
	Conference approved literature (Preview) I have heard in many meetings that the AA big book is not Al-Anon conference approved literature. This subject was brought up again last night at a meeting. I have been in this wonderful program for a short five years and have yet to see it in print. I have heard it many times but don't remember seeing...	Mobirdie	8	3755	Aug 7, 2013 by anonymous unschooler
	The path of least resistance. (Preview) Well, as I mentioned in my first post, I used to do more than my share of drinking too, so I never really thought too deeply about his- because- well I guess I would have had to look at myself too. So I rescued and argued and felt the stress of being "the responsible one" while he blamed and failed...	Melly1248	5	318	Aug 7, 2013 by Melly1248
	Newby needs listening ear & help! (Preview) My boyfriend is a drunk. He drinks 151. Full pints. Whats more he gets violent sometimes whens hes drunk and I left him tonight cause he wanted to go get another pint and was already toasted. Whats worse is that the last time he drank two or three pints he got real violent and hurt my teenagers. That was a ye...	DebraAnnRegan	13	500	Aug 7, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Perspectives! (Preview) "Whatever you are not changing, You are choosing." Laurie Buchannon	Bettina	7	265	Aug 7, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Coming to the end of the chapter - sweet, sweet experience (Preview) On Saturday, my organization treated families to a sightseeing trip and then a trip to the beach for a day. One family that I had met early on in my work all went together. The Mom was in her late twenties and her only son at that time young. I lost track of them for awhile and then the Mom resurfaced with t...	grateful2be	19	475	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	New development - son (Preview) I need some E/S/H. Haven't spoken with my son in weeks - not since I called him and he was slurring his words, then jailed, then on the streets, then in a supervised residence, now it seems back at the place he was staying and then arrested for whatever led to it. He came to my office this week and my assist...	grateful2be	26	540	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	It's not really functioning (Preview) I've never been to an Al anon meeting nor has my AH been to AA. As my Husband would say: I "have just enough information to make me dangerous". I'm under the impression that because my husband owns a successful company, has hobbies, well known and respected in the community and a member of a c...	hisimage	11	464	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Rejection from Father (Preview) My relationship with my father saddens me. I am coming closer to really accepting it though, at least I think I am. Because it recreates itself with others in my own adult life, it had to be completely accepted. My father has done everything possible to see that I won't recover after going through the s...	WorkingThroughIt	12	526	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling Hopeless alcoholic husband (Preview) I've attended 3 Al-Anon meetings so far & I guess it just hasn't clicked yet. Everyone is so vague with their sharing. I haven't really heard any real scenarios & how we should handle them. I'm not sure how to NOT worry and be concerned for my husband when he could very well die. On the subject of d...	swood31	13	543	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	Still worring too much? (Preview) I hope I didn't overwhelemed this forum with all the questions, but here is one more. My frined is doing a baby shower for me this weekend, which is Very nice of her, but she has 3 small children and a husband that likes to drink. So while we will be in her house with the girls, she wants to send her husband wi...	Venera	8	531	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	letting the storm pass...and breathe. (Preview) and we are back in the abuse again. It's not that i didn't see it coming. I just hoped for a while there could be a different outcome, this time. a lesson repeats itself until it is learned and internalized, right! So I separated from A, he moved out, and i try to move on. 2 days ago we settle on a friendly fare...	tortuga	9	444	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	New to recovery - Not A daughter issues (Preview) Hi there, this is going to be a long first post...Hang in there! AH is finally in AA (30 days sober on Monday!) I went to my first face to face alanon meeting last Tues, and am going to try another this Thurs. I have codependency issues from far before meeting my DH. I detached about 6 months ago from him...	JustMe2013	23	522	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	Found out what happen to my son (Preview) First got a text message of somebody with a really broken face. No nose, chin and two black eyes. That be my son. I then got the call......crying still getting sober and lost in his alcoholism. So sad and pitiful. Just got out of the hospital I asked about him going to the ranch and he proceeded to te...	Cathyinaz	38	711	Aug 6, 2013 by John
	Better Days are ahead.... (Preview) Better Days Are Ahead! Before you go any further reading this, take a deep breath and release it. Do it twice. Then read below... I know from personal experience the sorrow your heart feels. I know that right now, you have more questions than answers. I know what it feels like to hold my breath throughou...	John	12	424	Aug 6, 2013 by neshema2
	how many decades did it take me to learn THIS??? (Preview) "looking for love/happiness in all the wrong places"....that old song, "looking for love" it was the big song in Urban cowboy....I so related to it....I used to go to bars, singles places, anywhere to find love, and it evaded me...I didn't love me so I didn't attract love fro...	neshema2	3	351	Aug 6, 2013 by Bettina
	how to know how I feel now that husband is in recovery (Preview) PREFACE: I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decisions) had escalated to the point where he was putting me in danger as far at the people who were in my home...and I was putting my self in danger because I was at an emotional breaking point from the stress of his behavior as...	sadsusie	10	412	Aug 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Questioning my gut (Preview) Hello all, Sorry it's been a very long time sice I visited you. This disease is tricky, just when you think you are doing good...SMACK, HP brings you back to some more testing. My AH just can't have enough courage to let his old friend vodka leave his side. So, I am letting him live his tortured life and...	1976love	5	743	Aug 6, 2013 by Bettina
	CHANGE (Preview) "When the pain of where you are, is greater than the fear of where you will be, you will move" I have read this before I think on this board and I do believe it gets down to the some real roots of life, I don't take credit for it, but I do think it is worth repeating and thinking about, especially wh...	oldergal	7	298	Aug 6, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Are They Really Bi-Polar? (Preview) Or are they just drinking and can't control their emotions? When they sober-up doesn't that change a lot of times? And are people really depressed or is that an over used word? What do you think? oldergal	oldergal	11	416	Aug 6, 2013 by myjade84
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.