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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> consrtant miserable self medicaring depressed husband
Post Info TOPIC: consrtant miserable self medicaring depressed husband
sandydv


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consrtant miserable self medicaring depressed husband
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I am trtying so very hard to not cmpletley loose it, he has been so irritable moody miserable   - am starting to come to the reallization he suffers from depresson and self mdicates with pot and booze 

I was awa on holiday with daughter without him for a week - I was looking forward to seeing him only to come home to a miserable person! My sexond day home and he is sappimng at eberything! a simple question like are you eating these grapes still (I'm allergic to them) or shoiuld trow them out gets a snoTty remark and anger. Isay to him it was juist a question no need to gewt upset wth me , theb he unleashes telling its me that is upset, saying you can nver be wrong, you never could .  Its crazymaking at its best - I just be slent and fnish up what doing t get the hell out of there and that even gets attacked! He says oh now your tying to wn whatever the hell that means Its just bizarre, mkes no sense ad is s hurtful and frustratng  i want to scream! 

I am now sitting in my basement crying my eyes out If he sees me I knbow for a fact he will hve some ignorant thing to say  I tell you I could really use a drink myself   why xnt just be with ahappy person who actully shows he cares 



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rehprof


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Posts: 689
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HI there!

you wrote "why can't he be a happy person...etc"

that's like asking a paralyzed person to walk...alcoholism is a disease that deeply affects people in mostly negative ways, physiologically and psychologically...

we can't change it...only the A can change it. Maddening, isn't it? I hung on for 28 years with my A, hoping that someday he would be a happy person. I finally had to face reality..that I couldn't live with hoping for things to be different...because for me, they just never would be.

that's why step one is step one...we are powerless over this darned disease...we didn't cause it, can't cure it, can't control it. 

what we can do is focus on ourselves...and keeping ourselves safe, stable, and happy...and alanon tools and fellowship has really helped me along the way...helps me stay out of crazy town.

take what makes sense to you and ditch the rest  biggrin and keep coming back, 

RP



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PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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Good morning, It is tough living with addictions, we all know this pain and torture.  You cannot do anything for your husband, but you can do something for you.  Addictions make us sick, too.  I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that if you begin attending regular al anon meetings, you may, as I did, begin to feel better.  It sounds like both of you are miserable, but you can only help you.  Keep coming back.....as one of the hotels advertised years ago, we will keep the light on!



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Paula
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> consrtant miserable self medicaring depressed husband