You know Deb, what I sat there thinking was how wonderful it was to be free to do something so simple yet so fulfilling. Mr Ex would talk about wanting to sit on the porch, but then stay on the couch, unless he was mad, then he'd pout on the porch. I have a beautiful (in between streetlights) view of the mountain here, Mt. Hood, and when there are fires out there, the sun turns the smoke red and its even more beautiful. The wind blows in my neighbors trees and makes that whooshing sound, the birds chirp, cars go by, neighbors go by, my animals linger nearby and I often find myself just letting myself enjoy whatever moment I am in with no more worries about the other shoe dropping; no fear of "him" coming home and ruining my peace. I treasure my peace so much now - truthfully I did not treasure my freedom and peace before hurricane "inserthisnamehere" entered my life.

I bought the chair for five bucks and originally was gonna refinish it in its wood look for my living room; but after talking with my daughter and sitting in it myself on the porch, we both want it on the porch (even though its really too big to be where it is, small porch and all, its really nice to sit and rock and watch the evening, feel the air finally begin to cool from a hot day. So - I'm gonna paint it white, take it in during the winter months, but consider it porch furniture because it fits us even if it doesn't fit the porch.

I went down to the concert, which was good, relaxed, we have a sweet city park and the kids ran free playing in the grass while their parents watched the band and socialized with friends. I love my small town for that feel of stepping back a few years.

There are so many times when I catch myself stopping to appreciate where I've gotten to in life. Before the hurricane of alcoholism wrecked havoc with my life, I was lonely, painfully. I lived the same life I live now, but I was sad and moping and desperately seeking someone to complete me. Now I relish in these peaceful moments - enjoy the people who stop to chat on their way by, enjoy the nice air, the way my yard is so nice and green, my half done fence, the flowers I tend - sometimes I get overwhelmed with how damn lucky I am to have gone through the fire and survived to find such intense appreciation for this other side of the same life.