How to deal with a disruptive mentally ill person during a meeting - Al-Anon Family Group

Sweet Stanley · ~*Service Worker*~

How to deal with a disruptive mentally ill person during a meeting

SunnySkies · Newbie

One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consistent with Al Anon principles?

gingerfizz · Veteran Member

26 views and no replies! Tough situation! I guess I would let her share even if it seems a bit off topic to those around her? And try to accept/ignore the talking to herself? Depends how distracting or intrusive each of these behaviors are and whether the meeting is able to continue to stay on track...?

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

This is something that I'd let the group facilitator for the meeting handle. Could be another one of those didn't cause, can't cure and can't control type of issues for your group to consider?

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

We have a gentlemen who comes to meeting who mumbles to himself during the entire meeting, but I don't find him that disruptive unless I'm sitting right next to him. None of us can understand what he says half the time because of the mumbling but we've all been able to figure out his name. Since he's not a problem, there really is nothing to address. My son has Tourette's syndrome and that sometimes can cause him to make noises or weird breathing, etc and it can be a distraction to others, do you think it's something along these lines? I would probably put this forth as an issue at the group's business meetings or possibly bring it up to the local group leadership and see if they can recommend a solution.

slogan_jim · Senior Member

We had a man who would constantly get up and walk around during open meetings, get coffee, walk in and out of the room, shuffle through his bag. He was told once it was disruptive and he got very defensive. It happened a second time and he got loud and stormed out. I havn't seen him since.

Oh well.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Maybe take this person aside in the meetings beginning or end. Ask them what brings them to Al Anon.Maybe this person is needing a different kind of meeting? Possibly find out who monitors this person and call as you are concerned.

If this person does not have a qualifier, is not talking about Al Anon issues, its not fair to everyone else if they are disruptive.

debilyn

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi

A few of my alanon meetings have encountered a few such problems. We have held a group conscience about the issue and decided that with 4 minute timed shares at the meeting, the person is allowed to speak just as any other member. If they interrupt others, just as each of us are held accountable, the Chair will remind them of the " no cross talk format and asked to stop.

There is a women in my meetings these days who was such a problem over 20 years ago. She had been deeply affected by this disease from childhood and was difficult to understand and often mumbled incoherently. Today she is a contributing member of the group and a miracle. If at all possible I believe alanon principles suggest that she be permitted her seat.

Good Luck

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with Deb,

I would find out what brings them to Alanon, sometimes there not where they think they are.

Bettina

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

We have one lady that when its her turn to share she can take up to 15-20 minutes. Sometimes I just want to say something but it's not my place. Everyone in the room as I look at them are in the same mind set as me but none of us say a thing. What I see happening how is we kind of share before her and that doesn't leave much time left at the end of the meeting but maybe the 5 minutes. If it was something really serious I would understand but usually not.

I feel for her....

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

We have some regulars who have some mental health issues who go pretty much to ALL the meetings in our location. A few of them tend to go beyond the time limit consistently - way beyond it - sharing on Step 1 for newcomers. There are times I have wondered why our group facilitator/chair doesn't call time, but they don't seem to do that. One evening, I was frustrated with yet another Step 1 share by one of our meeting regulars who ALWAYS shares and then shares again which interrupts many other shares since our groups number often over 30 in small areas and meetings last a strict 60 minutes. It came to me that maybe those chairs knew more about the people sharing and let it go for a reason unknown to me. On nights I chair, I can limit the shares if necessary, but on other chairs' nights, I figure we've trusted them to lead our group, best to allow what is happening and make sure my own share is necessary and according to the time limit. Even though I've heard the same shares on Step 1 by the same persons many, many times - our newcomers haven't and may need to hear the shares?

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

There is a very mentally ill guy that goes to my home group. None of his share make sense. Someone pointed out one day "What is the lesson from God for us in this?" It is a lesson in patience and tolerance. His shares may also be the only time during his life where he gets to talk and feel like a group of people are listening to him. Not sure how much this applies to this situation but it's just my ESH.

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

smile I was that person once. Nobody turned me away.

There but for the grace of God go I. aww

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank You David That was a beautiful share

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