Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Barbara · Barbara

how long were you on? were you able to stop? any side effects when first going on? doc just started me on 50mg, wants me to call him after a month

kissers · kissers

I looked up the definition of humble and one of the definitions is to not be assertive. This makes no sense to me. This seems to teach that you are not to ask for what you need or want, but to settle for what comes your way.....which has always been crumbs. Don't we all have a right to assert ourselves? We may...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Hello ((everyone)) I wrote a little bit about my situation in my last post, but not about whats going on at the present. 2 weeks ago me and my Ab came to my home town to visit my family. I begged him to stay home and let me come alone because he is drinking and using. He wouldn't hear of it.. he s...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

HI ala-pals, My counselor asked me to do some homework... so I hope you don't mind if I use this board to work on it. I have been working on accepting that my relationship with my father is not ever going to be what I want it to be. After two years of wondering why -- why is he acting so cold, so insensitive...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi all, Just wanted to give an update with my progress in dealing with my A. He returned to town Friday afternoon and came straight to my house. Called about 3 hours before showing up saying he was stuck in a town 45 mins. away with no gas bla bla bla and I told him he'd figure it out. He...

tippergirl · tippergirl

I just wanted to vent here. My A left AA and started drinking again. I am the only one of us working a program any longer. I try and be patient. It is very very very hard for me sometimes. He will be testy and ill tempered all day and then I finally reach my breaking point. The only time I seem to be happy is when I...

greta · greta

While visiting with a long time girlfriend, we started talking about negative thinking. Negative thinking about ourselves. We were both raised in alcoholic families and can really relate to each other on this subject. She was talking about how her dad would call them stupid wh...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Hello ((everyone)) I am looking for f2f meetings in my area to attend but it seems they are scarce...any suggestions how to find meetings in my area? I am going to do this for myself. I also want to start the steps but I'm not sure how. I know I need to take care of me.. I do, and I unde...

Maria123 · Maria123

To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do No...

John · John

Hello everyone, This is Rose, From time to time I have been in the rooms and I have found that people are talking about food. Who is cooking what, oh let me have that recipe, Oh that sounds good. All it does is make everyone hungry!! So I have decided to put all this food talk to...

Barbara · Barbara

does anyone take classes w/either yoga or pilates? Thinking of joining a new gym and they offer both

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I have a job, albeit a part time job that is sometimes full time when they have no one else to do it. I hate it that I am not in a position to turn down work there yet. I am looking very very hard for something else but I am human and I can only move at a certain pace. I am also decl...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

Well I think ive got one for you. My dry A who isnt working says that will do the dishes and dust in return if I pay my A the 3.00 I give my daughter for allowence. Which my daughter does a lot more then that as im sick and she has helped me daily. Yeah we know kids do miss things when there doing chores but the...

rainydayz · rainydayz

(((Hello everyone))) I have been in a relationship with an A/addict for a year now. I moved from my home town, 4000 miles to where he lives, giving up my home my family and my business. He promised me alot of things but only came through with a few. He was clean and sober when we got...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((friends)))))) First, I would like to thank those of you who are praying for my son. His court case has to be rescheduled yet AGAIN. The doctor that was to testify on my son's behalf had to have surgery and will not be able to testify on the scheduled date. This is the never en...

sandie123 · sandie123

I went to a meeting last night and the topic was honesty. I realize how important it is to be honest both with others and yourself. I know that as I am working the program and am getting more honest with myself, especially those hard times with things I don’t want to hear, I am slowl...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I've been praying for my HP to send the person who needs my house as much as I need to leave my house ASAP, well there is a young woman who wants to finish the restoring I have started on it coming to look for a second time tomorrow. I've dropped the price, and made as many repairs as poss...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((Roomies))))))))) So many of you asked me to keep you posted on my health issues I thought this would be the easiest way. My biopsy came back ok thank God. There are still issues that the Doc wants to track so i'm in for more tests. That will happen on the 16th of Oct and I will get the resu...

violet · violet

hello everyone. i'm new to this board. i started posting a few days ago under my real name and decided to change to a pseudonym. i started to worry that my Abf would decide to look at the site (AA) and then get curious about whether or not i've been...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) So once again, my wife has asked me to have the papers drawn up for a Legal Seperation. This time is a little different, because I don't think it's a bad idea. Heck people get back together all the time. But of course she is not happy about my matter of factly stating th...

rainydayz · rainydayz

debilyn.... Thank you.. Thank you so much! I don't have anyone to talk to. My friends.. my family.. they don't understand. I need to talk to people who have been through the same thing. I need advice... understanding.. I need help. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.. it means a...

kicky · kicky

You know, I used to dread the weekend. When I actually believed my A's promises. Now I am creating my world. My A will have grandioso plans for going out to a nice dinner Friday, working around the yard on Saturday and Sunday. Oh the plans...and most of the time, he can't seem to get home Friday earl...

Maria123 · Maria123

Recently I had the "opportunity" to share an aspect of the real, true Maria. I allowed myself to be vulnerable being very honest. Things did not turn out as I had thought, so I have been given the "opportunity" of using all the tools available in my Alanon toolbox. To thine own self be true - n...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Anyone outside looking in would call me insane...because I am, lol. Anyone could say, "Hey he left you, he made his choice." Only what I deal w/ is this. Yep, he left, and I've learned to live on my own. The kids and I have found our own way of doing things and life is not bad.&nbs...

Gailey · Gailey

From something Tiger posted: I worked with a therapist on these issues in the past. I forget what the actual form of therapy it was but I would ponder on things from my childhood with the A father and try to feel the feelings that I felt at the time. Somehow, feeling those feelings in therapy was suppo...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well I am going on 7 days of not knowing where my husband is, I saw him on Sunday for a minute and what a sad site it was....how in the world can anyone let the addiction take such control over your very life.... I am hanging on for dear life, as soon as I can, I am filing for divorce.......

bobump · bobump

This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share. It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker. I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had m...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

I have been having trouble getting myself wound up in things that are not mine. I was feeling my A's feeling instead of my own. I was thinking my A dont like what i do. I would become all upset about it. I have been tring to remind myself its not my stuff its my A's stuff. If my A dont like it its my A;s st...

faith · faith

Hello everyone- My AH left yesterday to start his new job in Georgia- He left around 6 pm and it is about 1200 miles from here-He drove late into the nite,slept in the truck to save $ on a hotel and arrived around 3 pm today. I have talked with him all day off and on, was having a crappy day anyw...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My sister is addicted to prescription pain medications. She is on a lot of medications prescribed by physicians. However, they have her so doped up I don't know if she really knows what is going on at any given point. One of the medications she takes daily is Morphine...

Lindy · Lindy

I've been posting that I am going through with a divorce from my AH. That is still my plan, but he has other plans. AH says if I stop seeing my male friend in another town (yes, I am seeing someone else for a distraction and it is working) he will stop drinking. I told him I've rarely seen him slow down on drink...

barisax · barisax

When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

"We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...

feelinhopeful · feelinhopeful

((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...

kicky · kicky

So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

"Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...

Barbara · Barbara

not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?

kissers · kissers

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday. As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...

maresie2 · maresie2

This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...

kissers · kissers

My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...

Iguana Girl · Iguana Girl

I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...

kicky · kicky

So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...

Becky1 · Becky1

My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section. Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...

maresie2 · maresie2

A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back

Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...

hersh · hersh

(((Good morning everyone)))) I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world. I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...

lin0606 · lin0606

I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating. The f2f I usually go t...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him. Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...

emma · emma

I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi everyone, I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave.... I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...

acjmom · acjmom

Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...

sld488 · sld488

I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding. Last week he got a call that his oldes...

Becky1 · Becky1

I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope. I had express...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	zoloft - did it help? (Preview) how long were you on? were you able to stop? any side effects when first going on? doc just started me on 50mg, wants me to call him after a month	Barbara	5	485	Oct 2, 2006 by Barbara
	Confused about being humble (Preview) I looked up the definition of humble and one of the definitions is to not be assertive. This makes no sense to me. This seems to teach that you are not to ask for what you need or want, but to settle for what comes your way.....which has always been crumbs. Don't we all have a right to assert ourselves? We may...	kissers	6	1064	Oct 2, 2006 by barisax
	stranded and hopeless (Preview) Hello ((everyone)) I wrote a little bit about my situation in my last post, but not about whats going on at the present. 2 weeks ago me and my Ab came to my home town to visit my family. I begged him to stay home and let me come alone because he is drinking and using. He wouldn't hear of it.. he s...	rainydayz	11	553	Oct 2, 2006 by carolinagirl
	dealing with what's real (Preview) HI ala-pals, My counselor asked me to do some homework... so I hope you don't mind if I use this board to work on it. I have been working on accepting that my relationship with my father is not ever going to be what I want it to be. After two years of wondering why -- why is he acting so cold, so insensitive...	itsgot2bgd	3	429	Oct 2, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Update on carolinagirl... (Preview) Hi all, Just wanted to give an update with my progress in dealing with my A. He returned to town Friday afternoon and came straight to my house. Called about 3 hours before showing up saying he was stuck in a town 45 mins. away with no gas bla bla bla and I told him he'd figure it out. He...	carolinagirl	2	336	Oct 2, 2006 by Tiger2006
	resent my A (Preview) I just wanted to vent here. My A left AA and started drinking again. I am the only one of us working a program any longer. I try and be patient. It is very very very hard for me sometimes. He will be testy and ill tempered all day and then I finally reach my breaking point. The only time I seem to be happy is when I...	tippergirl	5	423	Oct 2, 2006 by babysteps
	A lie believed becomes the truth? (Preview) While visiting with a long time girlfriend, we started talking about negative thinking. Negative thinking about ourselves. We were both raised in alcoholic families and can really relate to each other on this subject. She was talking about how her dad would call them stupid wh...	greta	4	480	Oct 1, 2006 by drucilla06
	It's me again! (Preview) Hello ((everyone)) I am looking for f2f meetings in my area to attend but it seems they are scarce...any suggestions how to find meetings in my area? I am going to do this for myself. I also want to start the steps but I'm not sure how. I know I need to take care of me.. I do, and I unde...	rainydayz	4	315	Oct 1, 2006 by Christy
	a memo from HP (Preview) To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do No...	Maria123	6	342	Oct 1, 2006 by david62
	Miracles In Progress Cookbook (Preview) Hello everyone, This is Rose, From time to time I have been in the rooms and I have found that people are talking about food. Who is cooking what, oh let me have that recipe, Oh that sounds good. All it does is make everyone hungry!! So I have decided to put all this food talk to...	John	26	2613	Oct 1, 2006 by Becky1
	yoga? pilates? (Preview) does anyone take classes w/either yoga or pilates? Thinking of joining a new gym and they offer both	Barbara	3	341	Oct 1, 2006 by findingmyway
	dealing with the blips in the road (Preview) As you all know I have a job, albeit a part time job that is sometimes full time when they have no one else to do it. I hate it that I am not in a position to turn down work there yet. I am looking very very hard for something else but I am human and I can only move at a certain pace. I am also decl...	maresie2	4	371	Oct 1, 2006 by maresie2
	dry A wants kids allowence (Preview) Well I think ive got one for you. My dry A who isnt working says that will do the dishes and dust in return if I pay my A the 3.00 I give my daughter for allowence. Which my daughter does a lot more then that as im sick and she has helped me daily. Yeah we know kids do miss things when there doing chores but the...	purplebutterfly	3	398	Oct 1, 2006 by Maria123
	First Timer (Preview) (((Hello everyone))) I have been in a relationship with an A/addict for a year now. I moved from my home town, 4000 miles to where he lives, giving up my home my family and my business. He promised me alot of things but only came through with a few. He was clean and sober when we got...	rainydayz	3	403	Oct 1, 2006 by Mobirdie
	postponed once again (Preview) (((((((friends)))))) First, I would like to thank those of you who are praying for my son. His court case has to be rescheduled yet AGAIN. The doctor that was to testify on my son's behalf had to have surgery and will not be able to testify on the scheduled date. This is the never en...	Lexie	6	420	Oct 1, 2006 by peewee
	Honesty (Preview) I went to a meeting last night and the topic was honesty. I realize how important it is to be honest both with others and yourself. I know that as I am working the program and am getting more honest with myself, especially those hard times with things I don’t want to hear, I am slowl...	sandie123	4	385	Sep 30, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Prayer request (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I've been praying for my HP to send the person who needs my house as much as I need to leave my house ASAP, well there is a young woman who wants to finish the restoring I have started on it coming to look for a second time tomorrow. I've dropped the price, and made as many repairs as poss...	Jennifer	7	355	Sep 30, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Surgery update (Preview) ((((((((Roomies))))))))) So many of you asked me to keep you posted on my health issues I thought this would be the easiest way. My biopsy came back ok thank God. There are still issues that the Doc wants to track so i'm in for more tests. That will happen on the 16th of Oct and I will get the resu...	shadow1	7	338	Sep 30, 2006 by Dolphin123
	questions about alanon (Preview) hello everyone. i'm new to this board. i started posting a few days ago under my real name and decided to change to a pseudonym. i started to worry that my Abf would decide to look at the site (AA) and then get curious about whether or not i've been...	violet	7	667	Sep 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	The statement that sums up our relationship (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) So once again, my wife has asked me to have the papers drawn up for a Legal Seperation. This time is a little different, because I don't think it's a bad idea. Heck people get back together all the time. But of course she is not happy about my matter of factly stating th...	rtexas	12	581	Sep 30, 2006 by kicky
	Thank you debilyn (Preview) debilyn.... Thank you.. Thank you so much! I don't have anyone to talk to. My friends.. my family.. they don't understand. I need to talk to people who have been through the same thing. I need advice... understanding.. I need help. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.. it means a...	rainydayz	1	297	Sep 30, 2006 by debilyn
	Who's made plans without their A's this weekend...Good for you! (Preview) You know, I used to dread the weekend. When I actually believed my A's promises. Now I am creating my world. My A will have grandioso plans for going out to a nice dinner Friday, working around the yard on Saturday and Sunday. Oh the plans...and most of the time, he can't seem to get home Friday earl...	kicky	2	299	Sep 30, 2006 by lin0606
	To Thine Own Self Be True (Preview) Recently I had the "opportunity" to share an aspect of the real, true Maria. I allowed myself to be vulnerable being very honest. Things did not turn out as I had thought, so I have been given the "opportunity" of using all the tools available in my Alanon toolbox. To thine own self be true - n...	Maria123	6	479	Sep 30, 2006 by Maria123
	My insanity..augh! (Preview) Anyone outside looking in would call me insane...because I am, lol. Anyone could say, "Hey he left you, he made his choice." Only what I deal w/ is this. Yep, he left, and I've learned to live on my own. The kids and I have found our own way of doing things and life is not bad.&nbs...	Lunamoth	4	498	Sep 30, 2006 by Andrea12
	How do you actually let yourself "feel the pain" (Preview) From something Tiger posted: I worked with a therapist on these issues in the past. I forget what the actual form of therapy it was but I would ponder on things from my childhood with the A father and try to feel the feelings that I felt at the time. Somehow, feeling those feelings in therapy was suppo...	Gailey	8	1015	Sep 30, 2006 by afglin
	Hanging on for my Life (Preview) Hello Friends, Well I am going on 7 days of not knowing where my husband is, I saw him on Sunday for a minute and what a sad site it was....how in the world can anyone let the addiction take such control over your very life.... I am hanging on for dear life, as soon as I can, I am filing for divorce.......	Andrea12	9	419	Sep 30, 2006 by mel123
	my men's group Anniversary meeting ! :) (Preview) This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share. It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker. I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had m...	bobump	10	468	Sep 30, 2006 by mel123
	owning my stuff (Preview) I have been having trouble getting myself wound up in things that are not mine. I was feeling my A's feeling instead of my own. I was thinking my A dont like what i do. I would become all upset about it. I have been tring to remind myself its not my stuff its my A's stuff. If my A dont like it its my A;s st...	purplebutterfly	0	275	Sep 29, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	He is DRUNK agian (Preview) Hello everyone- My AH left yesterday to start his new job in Georgia- He left around 6 pm and it is about 1200 miles from here-He drove late into the nite,slept in the truck to save $ on a hotel and arrived around 3 pm today. I have talked with him all day off and on, was having a crappy day anyw...	faith	5	436	Sep 29, 2006 by peewee
	ESH please (Preview) My sister is addicted to prescription pain medications. She is on a lot of medications prescribed by physicians. However, they have her so doped up I don't know if she really knows what is going on at any given point. One of the medications she takes daily is Morphine...	Mobirdie	6	452	Sep 29, 2006 by Mobirdie
	AH wants to make a deal (Preview) I've been posting that I am going through with a divorce from my AH. That is still my plan, but he has other plans. AH says if I stop seeing my male friend in another town (yes, I am seeing someone else for a distraction and it is working) he will stop drinking. I told him I've rarely seen him slow down on drink...	Lindy	5	502	Sep 29, 2006 by debilyn
	The Great Bug Out (Preview) When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...	barisax	4	447	Sep 29, 2006 by barisax
	Moving or running? (Preview) I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...	carolinagirl	3	487	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Moral dilemma need help... (Preview) Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...	carolinagirl	9	491	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Made a decission to turn our will and our lives over to the God of our understanding (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...	rtexas	8	434	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	why is this so hard? (Preview) I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...	carolinagirl	5	436	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Removing the victim (Preview) "We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...	twinmom2	6	514	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	confused and torn (Preview) ((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...	feelinhopeful	3	446	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	Took a step to stop enabling. (Preview) So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...	kicky	5	472	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	scrambling for the few crumbs (Preview) I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...	maresie2	5	453	Sep 29, 2006 by leo
	My fortune Cookie said..... (Preview) "Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...	Lunamoth	5	486	Sep 29, 2006 by twinmom2
	how do you handle it when the world is crapping on you? (Preview) not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?	Barbara	8	449	Sep 29, 2006 by maire rua
	AA May Prevent Murders (Preview) WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday. As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...	kissers	4	440	Sep 29, 2006 by Phil
	getting back on the horse (Preview) This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...	maresie2	4	460	Sep 29, 2006 by Jerry F
	Crazy Stuff (Preview) My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...	kissers	1	319	Sep 29, 2006 by Christy
	New, Depressed and Hopeless (Preview) I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...	Iguana Girl	10	455	Sep 28, 2006 by Iguana Girl
	A's out drinking...go figure. (Preview) So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...	kicky	3	431	Sep 28, 2006 by kicky
	Please Pray for a Newborn (Preview) My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section. Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...	Becky1	9	317	Sep 28, 2006 by peewee
	a friend of mine is sick talk about an exercise in detachment. (Preview) A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...	maresie2	4	407	Sep 28, 2006 by Christy
	Hurray I can see the screen!!! (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...	Jennifer	2	327	Sep 28, 2006 by rtexas
	What I am learning... (Preview) (((Good morning everyone)))) I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world. I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...	hersh	4	324	Sep 28, 2006 by Tammy
	Your face to face (Preview) I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating. The f2f I usually go t...	lin0606	1	424	Sep 28, 2006 by rtexas
	resigning certain roles (Preview) I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him. Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...	maresie2	7	435	Sep 28, 2006 by maresie2
	the 3 C's in practice - ESH please (Preview) I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...	emma	3	467	Sep 28, 2006 by Lunamoth
	a little help? (Preview) Hi everyone, I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave.... I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...	carolinagirl	5	416	Sep 28, 2006 by Diva
	I've got to get off of this rollercoaster (Preview) okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...	katrina2000	4	519	Sep 28, 2006 by Diva
	In Limbo.... (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...	hersh	7	423	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Just thinking (Preview) Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...	acjmom	6	476	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	who am I to say his an A ? (Preview) I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding. Last week he got a call that his oldes...	sld488	3	352	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	What I've Always Wanted! (Preview) I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope. I had express...	Becky1	6	406	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.