Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rainydayz · rainydayz

(((Hello everyone))) I have been in a relationship with an A/addict for a year now. I moved from my home town, 4000 miles to where he lives, giving up my home my family and my business. He promised me alot of things but only came through with a few. He was clean and sober when we got...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((friends)))))) First, I would like to thank those of you who are praying for my son. His court case has to be rescheduled yet AGAIN. The doctor that was to testify on my son's behalf had to have surgery and will not be able to testify on the scheduled date. This is the never en...

sandie123 · sandie123

I went to a meeting last night and the topic was honesty. I realize how important it is to be honest both with others and yourself. I know that as I am working the program and am getting more honest with myself, especially those hard times with things I don’t want to hear, I am slowl...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I've been praying for my HP to send the person who needs my house as much as I need to leave my house ASAP, well there is a young woman who wants to finish the restoring I have started on it coming to look for a second time tomorrow. I've dropped the price, and made as many repairs as poss...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((Roomies))))))))) So many of you asked me to keep you posted on my health issues I thought this would be the easiest way. My biopsy came back ok thank God. There are still issues that the Doc wants to track so i'm in for more tests. That will happen on the 16th of Oct and I will get the resu...

violet · violet

hello everyone. i'm new to this board. i started posting a few days ago under my real name and decided to change to a pseudonym. i started to worry that my Abf would decide to look at the site (AA) and then get curious about whether or not i've been...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) So once again, my wife has asked me to have the papers drawn up for a Legal Seperation. This time is a little different, because I don't think it's a bad idea. Heck people get back together all the time. But of course she is not happy about my matter of factly stating th...

rainydayz · rainydayz

debilyn.... Thank you.. Thank you so much! I don't have anyone to talk to. My friends.. my family.. they don't understand. I need to talk to people who have been through the same thing. I need advice... understanding.. I need help. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.. it means a...

kicky · kicky

You know, I used to dread the weekend. When I actually believed my A's promises. Now I am creating my world. My A will have grandioso plans for going out to a nice dinner Friday, working around the yard on Saturday and Sunday. Oh the plans...and most of the time, he can't seem to get home Friday earl...

Maria123 · Maria123

Recently I had the "opportunity" to share an aspect of the real, true Maria. I allowed myself to be vulnerable being very honest. Things did not turn out as I had thought, so I have been given the "opportunity" of using all the tools available in my Alanon toolbox. To thine own self be true - n...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Anyone outside looking in would call me insane...because I am, lol. Anyone could say, "Hey he left you, he made his choice." Only what I deal w/ is this. Yep, he left, and I've learned to live on my own. The kids and I have found our own way of doing things and life is not bad.&nbs...

Gailey · Gailey

From something Tiger posted: I worked with a therapist on these issues in the past. I forget what the actual form of therapy it was but I would ponder on things from my childhood with the A father and try to feel the feelings that I felt at the time. Somehow, feeling those feelings in therapy was suppo...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well I am going on 7 days of not knowing where my husband is, I saw him on Sunday for a minute and what a sad site it was....how in the world can anyone let the addiction take such control over your very life.... I am hanging on for dear life, as soon as I can, I am filing for divorce.......

bobump · bobump

This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share. It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker. I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had m...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

I have been having trouble getting myself wound up in things that are not mine. I was feeling my A's feeling instead of my own. I was thinking my A dont like what i do. I would become all upset about it. I have been tring to remind myself its not my stuff its my A's stuff. If my A dont like it its my A;s st...

faith · faith

Hello everyone- My AH left yesterday to start his new job in Georgia- He left around 6 pm and it is about 1200 miles from here-He drove late into the nite,slept in the truck to save $ on a hotel and arrived around 3 pm today. I have talked with him all day off and on, was having a crappy day anyw...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My sister is addicted to prescription pain medications. She is on a lot of medications prescribed by physicians. However, they have her so doped up I don't know if she really knows what is going on at any given point. One of the medications she takes daily is Morphine...

Lindy · Lindy

I've been posting that I am going through with a divorce from my AH. That is still my plan, but he has other plans. AH says if I stop seeing my male friend in another town (yes, I am seeing someone else for a distraction and it is working) he will stop drinking. I told him I've rarely seen him slow down on drink...

barisax · barisax

When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

"We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...

feelinhopeful · feelinhopeful

((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...

kicky · kicky

So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

"Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...

Barbara · Barbara

not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?

kissers · kissers

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday. As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...

maresie2 · maresie2

This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...

kissers · kissers

My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...

Iguana Girl · Iguana Girl

I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...

kicky · kicky

So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...

Becky1 · Becky1

My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section. Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...

maresie2 · maresie2

A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back

Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...

hersh · hersh

(((Good morning everyone)))) I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world. I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...

lin0606 · lin0606

I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating. The f2f I usually go t...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him. Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...

emma · emma

I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi everyone, I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave.... I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...

acjmom · acjmom

Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...

sld488 · sld488

I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding. Last week he got a call that his oldes...

Becky1 · Becky1

I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope. I had express...

Noni · Noni

My brother's friend has been calling me a lot recently. Four weeks ago my brother (mentally ill, alcoholic & drug user) was found on the floor of his apartment - laying in his own urine. He was unable to stand up. Let me back up just a little. My brother is 69 years old and has been an A/using since he w...

Lexie · Lexie

((((((friends)))))) My son's court date is coming up soon.......one week from today, Oct. 3. It is a sentencing hearing, as a lot of you know. I am once again asking those of you who want to, to join me as I pray for him to have the best outcome possible. He is working his program and...

faraway06 · faraway06

Endured an ugly exchange with my ex (A) last night that I faced with a sense of detachment and calm I dont think I've ever experienced before. I'm so saddened by how things have degenerated between us, but I'm so grateful to Al-Anon for giving me tools, for helping me to understand what I can and ca...

sallyb · sallyb

This evening my ex-fiance visited to discuss step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. What a true blessing AA has been for him - he fought AA for so long and continued to fail at other attempts at sobriety. He l...

horselover58 · horselover58

I found out last night, Sunday, that a former co-worker had commited suicide. A very sad story. She was about 30 years old, single mom of three. Just had her last baby this past summer. All 3 children had been taken away by Dept. of SS. She was an alcoholic. She hung herslef, was found by her boyfriend. App...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello Things have really changed since the last time I posted. A quick recap... I'm divorcing my A/Cokehead husband. He's not dealing well with it at all. He left me a disturbing voicemail message on my phone last week, in which he fired a gun. I guess I was supposed to think he was killing himself. ...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I chatted with my husband online the other day and felt really crappy when done. He threw the old I vowed in sickness and health line at me. How have others dealt with this issue? I feel like saying they said in sickness and health not sickness and hell! Any examples of how othe...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Today I sit here at home, at my computer...when I should be at work. There is nothing physically wrong with me to have kept me home today. Last night the husband ran to the grocery store and only brought home healthy foods, cause he's on a diet. It was as if he was putting me on one too. I di...

mon123 · mon123

I hope I've managed to attach this leaflet ok. I found it very useful, especially when I was a newcomer. I'm sure alot of you know it.

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

This is a follow-up to Gailey's and Maresie's most recent posts--ya' really got me to think! Thank you! It makes me think about how I often secretly believe I can't recover until certain things happen. Of course these other things happening take the power directly out of my hands and put it directly...

barisax · barisax

Well it has only been a little over 24 hours since I joined this board. A lot of experience strength and hope, and a lot of pain being shared. I have noticed in my regular Alanon meetings, new people are often very quiet and don't really get to vent much about their situation. I think here, there is an extra...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) Thanks to all who posted yesterday with their wonderful words of wisdom and experience. I love that we have each other to bounce off difficult situations that pop up with our A's. I was able to have a conversation with my A yesterday about my car. I let him know th...

April306 · April306

Don't really have a question, just need to vent to people that understand and have been there. My A son (age 31) divorced and lives in a grimy little hovel (basement apt) not much better than just being on the street is only allowed to see his two children (ages 10 and 8) when they are totally...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	First Timer (Preview) (((Hello everyone))) I have been in a relationship with an A/addict for a year now. I moved from my home town, 4000 miles to where he lives, giving up my home my family and my business. He promised me alot of things but only came through with a few. He was clean and sober when we got...	rainydayz	3	367	Oct 1, 2006 by Mobirdie
	postponed once again (Preview) (((((((friends)))))) First, I would like to thank those of you who are praying for my son. His court case has to be rescheduled yet AGAIN. The doctor that was to testify on my son's behalf had to have surgery and will not be able to testify on the scheduled date. This is the never en...	Lexie	6	387	Oct 1, 2006 by peewee
	Honesty (Preview) I went to a meeting last night and the topic was honesty. I realize how important it is to be honest both with others and yourself. I know that as I am working the program and am getting more honest with myself, especially those hard times with things I don’t want to hear, I am slowl...	sandie123	4	350	Sep 30, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Prayer request (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I've been praying for my HP to send the person who needs my house as much as I need to leave my house ASAP, well there is a young woman who wants to finish the restoring I have started on it coming to look for a second time tomorrow. I've dropped the price, and made as many repairs as poss...	Jennifer	7	322	Sep 30, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Surgery update (Preview) ((((((((Roomies))))))))) So many of you asked me to keep you posted on my health issues I thought this would be the easiest way. My biopsy came back ok thank God. There are still issues that the Doc wants to track so i'm in for more tests. That will happen on the 16th of Oct and I will get the resu...	shadow1	7	304	Sep 30, 2006 by Dolphin123
	questions about alanon (Preview) hello everyone. i'm new to this board. i started posting a few days ago under my real name and decided to change to a pseudonym. i started to worry that my Abf would decide to look at the site (AA) and then get curious about whether or not i've been...	violet	7	631	Sep 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	The statement that sums up our relationship (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) So once again, my wife has asked me to have the papers drawn up for a Legal Seperation. This time is a little different, because I don't think it's a bad idea. Heck people get back together all the time. But of course she is not happy about my matter of factly stating th...	rtexas	12	546	Sep 30, 2006 by kicky
	Thank you debilyn (Preview) debilyn.... Thank you.. Thank you so much! I don't have anyone to talk to. My friends.. my family.. they don't understand. I need to talk to people who have been through the same thing. I need advice... understanding.. I need help. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.. it means a...	rainydayz	1	262	Sep 30, 2006 by debilyn
	Who's made plans without their A's this weekend...Good for you! (Preview) You know, I used to dread the weekend. When I actually believed my A's promises. Now I am creating my world. My A will have grandioso plans for going out to a nice dinner Friday, working around the yard on Saturday and Sunday. Oh the plans...and most of the time, he can't seem to get home Friday earl...	kicky	2	263	Sep 30, 2006 by lin0606
	To Thine Own Self Be True (Preview) Recently I had the "opportunity" to share an aspect of the real, true Maria. I allowed myself to be vulnerable being very honest. Things did not turn out as I had thought, so I have been given the "opportunity" of using all the tools available in my Alanon toolbox. To thine own self be true - n...	Maria123	6	439	Sep 30, 2006 by Maria123
	My insanity..augh! (Preview) Anyone outside looking in would call me insane...because I am, lol. Anyone could say, "Hey he left you, he made his choice." Only what I deal w/ is this. Yep, he left, and I've learned to live on my own. The kids and I have found our own way of doing things and life is not bad.&nbs...	Lunamoth	4	465	Sep 30, 2006 by Andrea12
	How do you actually let yourself "feel the pain" (Preview) From something Tiger posted: I worked with a therapist on these issues in the past. I forget what the actual form of therapy it was but I would ponder on things from my childhood with the A father and try to feel the feelings that I felt at the time. Somehow, feeling those feelings in therapy was suppo...	Gailey	8	897	Sep 30, 2006 by afglin
	Hanging on for my Life (Preview) Hello Friends, Well I am going on 7 days of not knowing where my husband is, I saw him on Sunday for a minute and what a sad site it was....how in the world can anyone let the addiction take such control over your very life.... I am hanging on for dear life, as soon as I can, I am filing for divorce.......	Andrea12	9	382	Sep 30, 2006 by mel123
	my men's group Anniversary meeting ! :) (Preview) This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share. It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker. I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had m...	bobump	10	439	Sep 30, 2006 by mel123
	owning my stuff (Preview) I have been having trouble getting myself wound up in things that are not mine. I was feeling my A's feeling instead of my own. I was thinking my A dont like what i do. I would become all upset about it. I have been tring to remind myself its not my stuff its my A's stuff. If my A dont like it its my A;s st...	purplebutterfly	0	242	Sep 29, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	He is DRUNK agian (Preview) Hello everyone- My AH left yesterday to start his new job in Georgia- He left around 6 pm and it is about 1200 miles from here-He drove late into the nite,slept in the truck to save $ on a hotel and arrived around 3 pm today. I have talked with him all day off and on, was having a crappy day anyw...	faith	5	399	Sep 29, 2006 by peewee
	ESH please (Preview) My sister is addicted to prescription pain medications. She is on a lot of medications prescribed by physicians. However, they have her so doped up I don't know if she really knows what is going on at any given point. One of the medications she takes daily is Morphine...	Mobirdie	6	417	Sep 29, 2006 by Mobirdie
	AH wants to make a deal (Preview) I've been posting that I am going through with a divorce from my AH. That is still my plan, but he has other plans. AH says if I stop seeing my male friend in another town (yes, I am seeing someone else for a distraction and it is working) he will stop drinking. I told him I've rarely seen him slow down on drink...	Lindy	5	461	Sep 29, 2006 by debilyn
	The Great Bug Out (Preview) When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...	barisax	4	409	Sep 29, 2006 by barisax
	Moving or running? (Preview) I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...	carolinagirl	3	442	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Moral dilemma need help... (Preview) Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...	carolinagirl	9	453	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Made a decission to turn our will and our lives over to the God of our understanding (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...	rtexas	8	399	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	why is this so hard? (Preview) I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...	carolinagirl	5	400	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Removing the victim (Preview) "We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...	twinmom2	6	476	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	confused and torn (Preview) ((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...	feelinhopeful	3	411	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	Took a step to stop enabling. (Preview) So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...	kicky	5	437	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	scrambling for the few crumbs (Preview) I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...	maresie2	5	417	Sep 29, 2006 by leo
	My fortune Cookie said..... (Preview) "Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...	Lunamoth	5	448	Sep 29, 2006 by twinmom2
	how do you handle it when the world is crapping on you? (Preview) not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?	Barbara	8	417	Sep 29, 2006 by maire rua
	AA May Prevent Murders (Preview) WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday. As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...	kissers	4	398	Sep 29, 2006 by Phil
	getting back on the horse (Preview) This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...	maresie2	4	424	Sep 29, 2006 by Jerry F
	Crazy Stuff (Preview) My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...	kissers	1	285	Sep 29, 2006 by Christy
	New, Depressed and Hopeless (Preview) I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...	Iguana Girl	10	414	Sep 28, 2006 by Iguana Girl
	A's out drinking...go figure. (Preview) So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...	kicky	3	391	Sep 28, 2006 by kicky
	Please Pray for a Newborn (Preview) My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section. Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...	Becky1	9	282	Sep 28, 2006 by peewee
	a friend of mine is sick talk about an exercise in detachment. (Preview) A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...	maresie2	4	363	Sep 28, 2006 by Christy
	Hurray I can see the screen!!! (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...	Jennifer	2	284	Sep 28, 2006 by rtexas
	What I am learning... (Preview) (((Good morning everyone)))) I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world. I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...	hersh	4	282	Sep 28, 2006 by Tammy
	Your face to face (Preview) I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating. The f2f I usually go t...	lin0606	1	381	Sep 28, 2006 by rtexas
	resigning certain roles (Preview) I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him. Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...	maresie2	7	399	Sep 28, 2006 by maresie2
	the 3 C's in practice - ESH please (Preview) I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...	emma	3	419	Sep 28, 2006 by Lunamoth
	a little help? (Preview) Hi everyone, I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave.... I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...	carolinagirl	5	372	Sep 28, 2006 by Diva
	I've got to get off of this rollercoaster (Preview) okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...	katrina2000	4	471	Sep 28, 2006 by Diva
	In Limbo.... (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...	hersh	7	388	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Just thinking (Preview) Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...	acjmom	6	426	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	who am I to say his an A ? (Preview) I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding. Last week he got a call that his oldes...	sld488	3	307	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	What I've Always Wanted! (Preview) I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope. I had express...	Becky1	6	356	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Mental illness and alcoholism really doesn't mix (Preview) My brother's friend has been calling me a lot recently. Four weeks ago my brother (mentally ill, alcoholic & drug user) was found on the floor of his apartment - laying in his own urine. He was unable to stand up. Let me back up just a little. My brother is 69 years old and has been an A/using since he w...	Noni	3	283	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	asking for prayers for son, once again.... (Preview) ((((((friends)))))) My son's court date is coming up soon.......one week from today, Oct. 3. It is a sentencing hearing, as a lot of you know. I am once again asking those of you who want to, to join me as I pray for him to have the best outcome possible. He is working his program and...	Lexie	8	308	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	detachment with a little self-doubt (Preview) Endured an ugly exchange with my ex (A) last night that I faced with a sense of detachment and calm I dont think I've ever experienced before. I'm so saddened by how things have degenerated between us, but I'm so grateful to Al-Anon for giving me tools, for helping me to understand what I can and ca...	faraway06	4	418	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	A healing day (Preview) This evening my ex-fiance visited to discuss step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. What a true blessing AA has been for him - he fought AA for so long and continued to fail at other attempts at sobriety. He l...	sallyb	4	264	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Alcohol claims another life (Preview) I found out last night, Sunday, that a former co-worker had commited suicide. A very sad story. She was about 30 years old, single mom of three. Just had her last baby this past summer. All 3 children had been taken away by Dept. of SS. She was an alcoholic. She hung herslef, was found by her boyfriend. App...	horselover58	10	525	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Artygirl update (Preview) Hello Things have really changed since the last time I posted. A quick recap... I'm divorcing my A/Cokehead husband. He's not dealing well with it at all. He left me a disturbing voicemail message on my phone last week, in which he fired a gun. I guess I was supposed to think he was killing himself. ...	artygirl	7	255	Sep 28, 2006 by artygirl
	the marriage vow question... (Preview) I chatted with my husband online the other day and felt really crappy when done. He threw the old I vowed in sickness and health line at me. How have others dealt with this issue? I feel like saying they said in sickness and health not sickness and hell! Any examples of how othe...	carolinagirl	9	652	Sep 27, 2006 by Jeannie
	Control Issues (Preview) Today I sit here at home, at my computer...when I should be at work. There is nothing physically wrong with me to have kept me home today. Last night the husband ran to the grocery store and only brought home healthy foods, cause he's on a diet. It was as if he was putting me on one too. I di...	Peggy7	3	397	Sep 27, 2006 by maresie2
	Merry Go Round called Denial for Bluebelle (Preview) I hope I've managed to attach this leaflet ok. I found it very useful, especially when I was a newcomer. I'm sure alot of you know it.	mon123	0	331	Sep 27, 2006 by mon123
	I can't recover until... (Preview) This is a follow-up to Gailey's and Maresie's most recent posts--ya' really got me to think! Thank you! It makes me think about how I often secretly believe I can't recover until certain things happen. Of course these other things happening take the power directly out of my hands and put it directly...	BlueCloud	4	322	Sep 27, 2006 by maresie2
	In the Trenches (Preview) Well it has only been a little over 24 hours since I joined this board. A lot of experience strength and hope, and a lot of pain being shared. I have noticed in my regular Alanon meetings, new people are often very quiet and don't really get to vent much about their situation. I think here, there is an extra...	barisax	4	406	Sep 27, 2006 by barisax
	Some answered prayers... I hope (Preview) (((MIP Family))) Thanks to all who posted yesterday with their wonderful words of wisdom and experience. I love that we have each other to bounce off difficult situations that pop up with our A's. I was able to have a conversation with my A yesterday about my car. I let him know th...	twinmom2	2	356	Sep 27, 2006 by Rita G
	Supervised Visits with A (Preview) Don't really have a question, just need to vent to people that understand and have been there. My A son (age 31) divorced and lives in a grimy little hovel (basement apt) not much better than just being on the street is only allowed to see his two children (ages 10 and 8) when they are totally...	April306	5	286	Sep 27, 2006 by nycbt
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.