Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kingston · kingston

What do I do? I find my self trapped in a horrible life. My next door neighbors called the police on my Abf and he got a 2nd DUI, now mind you my neighbors are scum bags but if my A hadn’t been drinking and blew a 2.08 he wouldn’t have gotten a DUI. Now this was a year ago my A started drinking...

Akasha · Akasha

I've not been around for quite some time due to a move out of state, getting internet set up, finding a job, etc. Happy to say that my boys and I have a roof over our heads (although we share it with my mother - an A herself). I also found a fantastic job that I love (9-1-1 Dispatcher) and have sta...

lilms · lilms

Okay, I really am being a nutjob today. Hope some of you are enjoying my wacky humour. I will quit now I promise. The stuff in paranthesis is mine ( ) lilms 1. Does a clean house indicate there is a broken computer in it? (Yep, my house) 2. Why is it that no matter wha...

shadow1 · shadow1

Today I had to tell my boss about my back surgery, and that I need 4-6 weeks recovery time. I have worked for him for 20 years. The jerk has all the compassion of a dead trout. He told me that I have to find someone to cover for me or I have to quit. He told me that I don't need to worry a...

curious · curious

Okay, here is the deal. I understand that Al Anon is for me. That I have things to work on too. But, How really am I suppose to take all of this. We spent 10 thousand dollars to send my husband to rehab. The first week he is out he relapses, goes on a rampage and accuses me of a...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

((Hello group)) It has been a topsy turvy few days that started Friday evening. I got home and my neighbor told me that a certified letter was waiting for me from my condo association to say that I had 10 days to pay any back maintenance fees or they'd put a lien on my condo. Well, I realized...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Lots has happened since I last posted. First I want to start with the positive stuff. I thought very hard about my marriage and decided I didn't want to give up yet. I asked my H to stay and give us another chance. Now the sad, Tuesday I got a call that my 31 year old A brother was killed...

rxygrl · rxygrl

I have been going to face to face meetings for about 6 months now..I am trying to work my program and I do see changes. But I was wondering has anyone had problems when you start to recover in dealing with the A in your life? My A is sober and has been but at best he is not actively working a progra...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Leading up to this weekend I had many thoughts going through my mind. As with other times when my AW would propose seperation I would get so nervious and anxious. Why? Because I love the way this is going? No... Because I am afraid of what the kids will say? N...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah has been hanging around my house alot and he and i have gone out a few times to dinner and movie. i haven't "slipped" intimatly with him since that one time on labor day. but i have fallen back into "our pattern". he acts a certain way when getting sober in aa and i know what to do. i did it for 12 years. i...

afmom03 · afmom03

MSKM301 · MSKM301

I sit here, completely exhausted from my day. My husband is out smoking crack again. Who knows where. My emotions have gone from not caring to crazy rages on his cell phone voice mail, to calming down and reading my kids a book to help them sleep. Now I have logged on here, if for nothing else to keep me focu...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Dear Friends, My life has taken a total change, some things by choice, and in many ways just were no alternative avenues to take. I have heard from my so called husband, he is in detox, he is in for a big reality check when he gets out, I am saleing his car today, no one has the right to be on the r...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was talking to my A today when he called to see if he could come over and if I would give him some gas money...could I come by and get him so he could see the kids and take him home... I told him no I don't want him over every day (seems like that would defeat the purpose of moving) BUT I did say I was thinking ab...

marmare · marmare

I know all the healthy ways to take care of me.....I know all the phrases to help me stay healthy. I know being honest about my feelings is a good thing when my A is sober. Then why do I keep trying to explain to him how left out of his life I am. Why do I keep going in circles. He truly...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

(((Hi all))), Ok this was weird and funny so I wanted to share it. Last night I was dreaming. I was trying to find an oyster burried in a shrimp. (yes strange, but hey it's me). While I was hunting for it I felt the tingle of my body trying to wake me up because I had to go to the restroom. Well in my deam I tol...

lilms · lilms

Hi all, Was getting some stuff ready for work today and came across this. It seems that so many of us are looking for normal (whatever the heck that is). Well today I opened my email at work and found the answer. Normal is a setting on your washing machine. Thank goodness now I c...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Okay -- I'm riding the "pink cloud" and it is soooo wonderful. Thank you thank you for all your replies, they have helped so much. Today, I did what was good for me! The A came to fix the riding mower and all I could do was think about the other week when he asked me to help him lift it up&...

ally · ally

Hi I don't really know what to say, only that for the first time in chat today, I was left feeling really angry. I am still a newbie to this and I don't know all the rules yet. Today a person came into chat room, stating he was 21 and looking for insight. I was listening to him, when I noticed a difference in t...

Barbara · Barbara

how long were you on? were you able to stop? any side effects when first going on? doc just started me on 50mg, wants me to call him after a month

kissers · kissers

I looked up the definition of humble and one of the definitions is to not be assertive. This makes no sense to me. This seems to teach that you are not to ask for what you need or want, but to settle for what comes your way.....which has always been crumbs. Don't we all have a right to assert ourselves? We may...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Hello ((everyone)) I wrote a little bit about my situation in my last post, but not about whats going on at the present. 2 weeks ago me and my Ab came to my home town to visit my family. I begged him to stay home and let me come alone because he is drinking and using. He wouldn't hear of it.. he s...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

HI ala-pals, My counselor asked me to do some homework... so I hope you don't mind if I use this board to work on it. I have been working on accepting that my relationship with my father is not ever going to be what I want it to be. After two years of wondering why -- why is he acting so cold, so insensitive...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi all, Just wanted to give an update with my progress in dealing with my A. He returned to town Friday afternoon and came straight to my house. Called about 3 hours before showing up saying he was stuck in a town 45 mins. away with no gas bla bla bla and I told him he'd figure it out. He...

tippergirl · tippergirl

I just wanted to vent here. My A left AA and started drinking again. I am the only one of us working a program any longer. I try and be patient. It is very very very hard for me sometimes. He will be testy and ill tempered all day and then I finally reach my breaking point. The only time I seem to be happy is when I...

greta · greta

While visiting with a long time girlfriend, we started talking about negative thinking. Negative thinking about ourselves. We were both raised in alcoholic families and can really relate to each other on this subject. She was talking about how her dad would call them stupid wh...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Hello ((everyone)) I am looking for f2f meetings in my area to attend but it seems they are scarce...any suggestions how to find meetings in my area? I am going to do this for myself. I also want to start the steps but I'm not sure how. I know I need to take care of me.. I do, and I unde...

Maria123 · Maria123

To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do No...

John · John

Hello everyone, This is Rose, From time to time I have been in the rooms and I have found that people are talking about food. Who is cooking what, oh let me have that recipe, Oh that sounds good. All it does is make everyone hungry!! So I have decided to put all this food talk to...

Barbara · Barbara

does anyone take classes w/either yoga or pilates? Thinking of joining a new gym and they offer both

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I have a job, albeit a part time job that is sometimes full time when they have no one else to do it. I hate it that I am not in a position to turn down work there yet. I am looking very very hard for something else but I am human and I can only move at a certain pace. I am also decl...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

Well I think ive got one for you. My dry A who isnt working says that will do the dishes and dust in return if I pay my A the 3.00 I give my daughter for allowence. Which my daughter does a lot more then that as im sick and she has helped me daily. Yeah we know kids do miss things when there doing chores but the...

rainydayz · rainydayz

(((Hello everyone))) I have been in a relationship with an A/addict for a year now. I moved from my home town, 4000 miles to where he lives, giving up my home my family and my business. He promised me alot of things but only came through with a few. He was clean and sober when we got...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((friends)))))) First, I would like to thank those of you who are praying for my son. His court case has to be rescheduled yet AGAIN. The doctor that was to testify on my son's behalf had to have surgery and will not be able to testify on the scheduled date. This is the never en...

sandie123 · sandie123

I went to a meeting last night and the topic was honesty. I realize how important it is to be honest both with others and yourself. I know that as I am working the program and am getting more honest with myself, especially those hard times with things I don’t want to hear, I am slowl...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I've been praying for my HP to send the person who needs my house as much as I need to leave my house ASAP, well there is a young woman who wants to finish the restoring I have started on it coming to look for a second time tomorrow. I've dropped the price, and made as many repairs as poss...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((Roomies))))))))) So many of you asked me to keep you posted on my health issues I thought this would be the easiest way. My biopsy came back ok thank God. There are still issues that the Doc wants to track so i'm in for more tests. That will happen on the 16th of Oct and I will get the resu...

violet · violet

hello everyone. i'm new to this board. i started posting a few days ago under my real name and decided to change to a pseudonym. i started to worry that my Abf would decide to look at the site (AA) and then get curious about whether or not i've been...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) So once again, my wife has asked me to have the papers drawn up for a Legal Seperation. This time is a little different, because I don't think it's a bad idea. Heck people get back together all the time. But of course she is not happy about my matter of factly stating th...

rainydayz · rainydayz

debilyn.... Thank you.. Thank you so much! I don't have anyone to talk to. My friends.. my family.. they don't understand. I need to talk to people who have been through the same thing. I need advice... understanding.. I need help. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.. it means a...

kicky · kicky

You know, I used to dread the weekend. When I actually believed my A's promises. Now I am creating my world. My A will have grandioso plans for going out to a nice dinner Friday, working around the yard on Saturday and Sunday. Oh the plans...and most of the time, he can't seem to get home Friday earl...

Maria123 · Maria123

Recently I had the "opportunity" to share an aspect of the real, true Maria. I allowed myself to be vulnerable being very honest. Things did not turn out as I had thought, so I have been given the "opportunity" of using all the tools available in my Alanon toolbox. To thine own self be true - n...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Anyone outside looking in would call me insane...because I am, lol. Anyone could say, "Hey he left you, he made his choice." Only what I deal w/ is this. Yep, he left, and I've learned to live on my own. The kids and I have found our own way of doing things and life is not bad.&nbs...

Gailey · Gailey

From something Tiger posted: I worked with a therapist on these issues in the past. I forget what the actual form of therapy it was but I would ponder on things from my childhood with the A father and try to feel the feelings that I felt at the time. Somehow, feeling those feelings in therapy was suppo...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well I am going on 7 days of not knowing where my husband is, I saw him on Sunday for a minute and what a sad site it was....how in the world can anyone let the addiction take such control over your very life.... I am hanging on for dear life, as soon as I can, I am filing for divorce.......

bobump · bobump

This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share. It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker. I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had m...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

I have been having trouble getting myself wound up in things that are not mine. I was feeling my A's feeling instead of my own. I was thinking my A dont like what i do. I would become all upset about it. I have been tring to remind myself its not my stuff its my A's stuff. If my A dont like it its my A;s st...

faith · faith

Hello everyone- My AH left yesterday to start his new job in Georgia- He left around 6 pm and it is about 1200 miles from here-He drove late into the nite,slept in the truck to save $ on a hotel and arrived around 3 pm today. I have talked with him all day off and on, was having a crappy day anyw...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My sister is addicted to prescription pain medications. She is on a lot of medications prescribed by physicians. However, they have her so doped up I don't know if she really knows what is going on at any given point. One of the medications she takes daily is Morphine...

Lindy · Lindy

I've been posting that I am going through with a divorce from my AH. That is still my plan, but he has other plans. AH says if I stop seeing my male friend in another town (yes, I am seeing someone else for a distraction and it is working) he will stop drinking. I told him I've rarely seen him slow down on drink...

barisax · barisax

When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

"We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...

feelinhopeful · feelinhopeful

((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...

kicky · kicky

So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

"Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	NEED ADVICE. Thank you (Preview) What do I do? I find my self trapped in a horrible life. My next door neighbors called the police on my Abf and he got a 2nd DUI, now mind you my neighbors are scum bags but if my A hadn’t been drinking and blew a 2.08 he wouldn’t have gotten a DUI. Now this was a year ago my A started drinking...	kingston	15	660	Oct 4, 2006 by Ria
	Angry/Resentful towards A's sobriety (Preview) I've not been around for quite some time due to a move out of state, getting internet set up, finding a job, etc. Happy to say that my boys and I have a roof over our heads (although we share it with my mother - an A herself). I also found a fantastic job that I love (9-1-1 Dispatcher) and have sta...	Akasha	6	577	Oct 4, 2006 by Akasha
	Slice of life lightly toasted (Preview) Okay, I really am being a nutjob today. Hope some of you are enjoying my wacky humour. I will quit now I promise. The stuff in paranthesis is mine ( ) lilms 1. Does a clean house indicate there is a broken computer in it? (Yep, my house) 2. Why is it that no matter wha...	lilms	3	368	Oct 3, 2006 by doxie
	Some people have no compassion (Preview) Today I had to tell my boss about my back surgery, and that I need 4-6 weeks recovery time. I have worked for him for 20 years. The jerk has all the compassion of a dead trout. He told me that I have to find someone to cover for me or I have to quit. He told me that I don't need to worry a...	shadow1	11	645	Oct 3, 2006 by Karilynn
	I get it, BUT (Preview) Okay, here is the deal. I understand that Al Anon is for me. That I have things to work on too. But, How really am I suppose to take all of this. We spent 10 thousand dollars to send my husband to rehab. The first week he is out he relapses, goes on a rampage and accuses me of a...	curious	8	650	Oct 3, 2006 by curious
	The benefits of pausing and observing (Preview) ((Hello group)) It has been a topsy turvy few days that started Friday evening. I got home and my neighbor told me that a certified letter was waiting for me from my condo association to say that I had 10 days to pay any back maintenance fees or they'd put a lien on my condo. Well, I realized...	twinmom2	2	593	Oct 3, 2006 by Rita G
	A very sad week (Preview) Lots has happened since I last posted. First I want to start with the positive stuff. I thought very hard about my marriage and decided I didn't want to give up yet. I asked my H to stay and give us another chance. Now the sad, Tuesday I got a call that my 31 year old A brother was killed...	tishrijo	9	411	Oct 3, 2006 by leo
	question about recovery (Preview) I have been going to face to face meetings for about 6 months now..I am trying to work my program and I do see changes. But I was wondering has anyone had problems when you start to recover in dealing with the A in your life? My A is sober and has been but at best he is not actively working a progra...	rxygrl	7	431	Oct 3, 2006 by Mike5056
	I find myself in a strange place... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Leading up to this weekend I had many thoughts going through my mind. As with other times when my AW would propose seperation I would get so nervious and anxious. Why? Because I love the way this is going? No... Because I am afraid of what the kids will say? N...	rtexas	8	532	Oct 3, 2006 by twinmom2
	feel like someone should reprimand me (Preview) my ex ah has been hanging around my house alot and he and i have gone out a few times to dinner and movie. i haven't "slipped" intimatly with him since that one time on labor day. but i have fallen back into "our pattern". he acts a certain way when getting sober in aa and i know what to do. i did it for 12 years. i...	serendipity	4	530	Oct 3, 2006 by serendipity
	A Break from the Drinking, to write this... (Preview)	afmom03	3	441	Oct 3, 2006 by Mike5056
	here we go again... (Preview) I sit here, completely exhausted from my day. My husband is out smoking crack again. Who knows where. My emotions have gone from not caring to crazy rages on his cell phone voice mail, to calming down and reading my kids a book to help them sleep. Now I have logged on here, if for nothing else to keep me focu...	MSKM301	4	356	Oct 3, 2006 by Tammy
	Holding the Lords Hand tightly (Preview) Hello Dear Friends, My life has taken a total change, some things by choice, and in many ways just were no alternative avenues to take. I have heard from my so called husband, he is in detox, he is in for a big reality check when he gets out, I am saleing his car today, no one has the right to be on the r...	Andrea12	13	520	Oct 3, 2006 by AndiLynn
	Feeling slick (Preview) I was talking to my A today when he called to see if he could come over and if I would give him some gas money...could I come by and get him so he could see the kids and take him home... I told him no I don't want him over every day (seems like that would defeat the purpose of moving) BUT I did say I was thinking ab...	carolinagirl	3	356	Oct 2, 2006 by faith
	What am I doing? (Preview) I know all the healthy ways to take care of me.....I know all the phrases to help me stay healthy. I know being honest about my feelings is a good thing when my A is sober. Then why do I keep trying to explain to him how left out of his life I am. Why do I keep going in circles. He truly...	marmare	8	551	Oct 2, 2006 by nmike
	Hmmmmmmm too much alanon? (Preview) (((Hi all))), Ok this was weird and funny so I wanted to share it. Last night I was dreaming. I was trying to find an oyster burried in a shrimp. (yes strange, but hey it's me). While I was hunting for it I felt the tingle of my body trying to wake me up because I had to go to the restroom. Well in my deam I tol...	Dolphin123	10	555	Oct 2, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Normal (Preview) Hi all, Was getting some stuff ready for work today and came across this. It seems that so many of us are looking for normal (whatever the heck that is). Well today I opened my email at work and found the answer. Normal is a setting on your washing machine. Thank goodness now I c...	lilms	3	331	Oct 2, 2006 by sld488
	Finding me again -- Wooohooo! (Preview) Okay -- I'm riding the "pink cloud" and it is soooo wonderful. Thank you thank you for all your replies, they have helped so much. Today, I did what was good for me! The A came to fix the riding mower and all I could do was think about the other week when he asked me to help him lift it up&...	Lunamoth	8	530	Oct 2, 2006 by tea2
	FEELING ANGER IN CHAT ROOM (Preview) Hi I don't really know what to say, only that for the first time in chat today, I was left feeling really angry. I am still a newbie to this and I don't know all the rules yet. Today a person came into chat room, stating he was 21 and looking for insight. I was listening to him, when I noticed a difference in t...	ally	6	620	Oct 2, 2006 by ally
	zoloft - did it help? (Preview) how long were you on? were you able to stop? any side effects when first going on? doc just started me on 50mg, wants me to call him after a month	Barbara	5	524	Oct 2, 2006 by Barbara
	Confused about being humble (Preview) I looked up the definition of humble and one of the definitions is to not be assertive. This makes no sense to me. This seems to teach that you are not to ask for what you need or want, but to settle for what comes your way.....which has always been crumbs. Don't we all have a right to assert ourselves? We may...	kissers	6	1101	Oct 2, 2006 by barisax
	stranded and hopeless (Preview) Hello ((everyone)) I wrote a little bit about my situation in my last post, but not about whats going on at the present. 2 weeks ago me and my Ab came to my home town to visit my family. I begged him to stay home and let me come alone because he is drinking and using. He wouldn't hear of it.. he s...	rainydayz	11	594	Oct 2, 2006 by carolinagirl
	dealing with what's real (Preview) HI ala-pals, My counselor asked me to do some homework... so I hope you don't mind if I use this board to work on it. I have been working on accepting that my relationship with my father is not ever going to be what I want it to be. After two years of wondering why -- why is he acting so cold, so insensitive...	itsgot2bgd	3	462	Oct 2, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Update on carolinagirl... (Preview) Hi all, Just wanted to give an update with my progress in dealing with my A. He returned to town Friday afternoon and came straight to my house. Called about 3 hours before showing up saying he was stuck in a town 45 mins. away with no gas bla bla bla and I told him he'd figure it out. He...	carolinagirl	2	372	Oct 2, 2006 by Tiger2006
	resent my A (Preview) I just wanted to vent here. My A left AA and started drinking again. I am the only one of us working a program any longer. I try and be patient. It is very very very hard for me sometimes. He will be testy and ill tempered all day and then I finally reach my breaking point. The only time I seem to be happy is when I...	tippergirl	5	464	Oct 2, 2006 by babysteps
	A lie believed becomes the truth? (Preview) While visiting with a long time girlfriend, we started talking about negative thinking. Negative thinking about ourselves. We were both raised in alcoholic families and can really relate to each other on this subject. She was talking about how her dad would call them stupid wh...	greta	4	524	Oct 1, 2006 by drucilla06
	It's me again! (Preview) Hello ((everyone)) I am looking for f2f meetings in my area to attend but it seems they are scarce...any suggestions how to find meetings in my area? I am going to do this for myself. I also want to start the steps but I'm not sure how. I know I need to take care of me.. I do, and I unde...	rainydayz	4	351	Oct 1, 2006 by Christy
	a memo from HP (Preview) To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do No...	Maria123	6	380	Oct 1, 2006 by david62
	Miracles In Progress Cookbook (Preview) Hello everyone, This is Rose, From time to time I have been in the rooms and I have found that people are talking about food. Who is cooking what, oh let me have that recipe, Oh that sounds good. All it does is make everyone hungry!! So I have decided to put all this food talk to...	John	26	2673	Oct 1, 2006 by Becky1
	yoga? pilates? (Preview) does anyone take classes w/either yoga or pilates? Thinking of joining a new gym and they offer both	Barbara	3	382	Oct 1, 2006 by findingmyway
	dealing with the blips in the road (Preview) As you all know I have a job, albeit a part time job that is sometimes full time when they have no one else to do it. I hate it that I am not in a position to turn down work there yet. I am looking very very hard for something else but I am human and I can only move at a certain pace. I am also decl...	maresie2	4	414	Oct 1, 2006 by maresie2
	dry A wants kids allowence (Preview) Well I think ive got one for you. My dry A who isnt working says that will do the dishes and dust in return if I pay my A the 3.00 I give my daughter for allowence. Which my daughter does a lot more then that as im sick and she has helped me daily. Yeah we know kids do miss things when there doing chores but the...	purplebutterfly	3	435	Oct 1, 2006 by Maria123
	First Timer (Preview) (((Hello everyone))) I have been in a relationship with an A/addict for a year now. I moved from my home town, 4000 miles to where he lives, giving up my home my family and my business. He promised me alot of things but only came through with a few. He was clean and sober when we got...	rainydayz	3	445	Oct 1, 2006 by Mobirdie
	postponed once again (Preview) (((((((friends)))))) First, I would like to thank those of you who are praying for my son. His court case has to be rescheduled yet AGAIN. The doctor that was to testify on my son's behalf had to have surgery and will not be able to testify on the scheduled date. This is the never en...	Lexie	6	459	Oct 1, 2006 by peewee
	Honesty (Preview) I went to a meeting last night and the topic was honesty. I realize how important it is to be honest both with others and yourself. I know that as I am working the program and am getting more honest with myself, especially those hard times with things I don’t want to hear, I am slowl...	sandie123	4	425	Sep 30, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Prayer request (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I've been praying for my HP to send the person who needs my house as much as I need to leave my house ASAP, well there is a young woman who wants to finish the restoring I have started on it coming to look for a second time tomorrow. I've dropped the price, and made as many repairs as poss...	Jennifer	7	397	Sep 30, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Surgery update (Preview) ((((((((Roomies))))))))) So many of you asked me to keep you posted on my health issues I thought this would be the easiest way. My biopsy came back ok thank God. There are still issues that the Doc wants to track so i'm in for more tests. That will happen on the 16th of Oct and I will get the resu...	shadow1	7	376	Sep 30, 2006 by Dolphin123
	questions about alanon (Preview) hello everyone. i'm new to this board. i started posting a few days ago under my real name and decided to change to a pseudonym. i started to worry that my Abf would decide to look at the site (AA) and then get curious about whether or not i've been...	violet	7	701	Sep 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	The statement that sums up our relationship (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) So once again, my wife has asked me to have the papers drawn up for a Legal Seperation. This time is a little different, because I don't think it's a bad idea. Heck people get back together all the time. But of course she is not happy about my matter of factly stating th...	rtexas	12	619	Sep 30, 2006 by kicky
	Thank you debilyn (Preview) debilyn.... Thank you.. Thank you so much! I don't have anyone to talk to. My friends.. my family.. they don't understand. I need to talk to people who have been through the same thing. I need advice... understanding.. I need help. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.. it means a...	rainydayz	1	336	Sep 30, 2006 by debilyn
	Who's made plans without their A's this weekend...Good for you! (Preview) You know, I used to dread the weekend. When I actually believed my A's promises. Now I am creating my world. My A will have grandioso plans for going out to a nice dinner Friday, working around the yard on Saturday and Sunday. Oh the plans...and most of the time, he can't seem to get home Friday earl...	kicky	2	342	Sep 30, 2006 by lin0606
	To Thine Own Self Be True (Preview) Recently I had the "opportunity" to share an aspect of the real, true Maria. I allowed myself to be vulnerable being very honest. Things did not turn out as I had thought, so I have been given the "opportunity" of using all the tools available in my Alanon toolbox. To thine own self be true - n...	Maria123	6	521	Sep 30, 2006 by Maria123
	My insanity..augh! (Preview) Anyone outside looking in would call me insane...because I am, lol. Anyone could say, "Hey he left you, he made his choice." Only what I deal w/ is this. Yep, he left, and I've learned to live on my own. The kids and I have found our own way of doing things and life is not bad.&nbs...	Lunamoth	4	541	Sep 30, 2006 by Andrea12
	How do you actually let yourself "feel the pain" (Preview) From something Tiger posted: I worked with a therapist on these issues in the past. I forget what the actual form of therapy it was but I would ponder on things from my childhood with the A father and try to feel the feelings that I felt at the time. Somehow, feeling those feelings in therapy was suppo...	Gailey	8	1116	Sep 30, 2006 by afglin
	Hanging on for my Life (Preview) Hello Friends, Well I am going on 7 days of not knowing where my husband is, I saw him on Sunday for a minute and what a sad site it was....how in the world can anyone let the addiction take such control over your very life.... I am hanging on for dear life, as soon as I can, I am filing for divorce.......	Andrea12	9	460	Sep 30, 2006 by mel123
	my men's group Anniversary meeting ! :) (Preview) This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share. It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker. I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had m...	bobump	10	505	Sep 30, 2006 by mel123
	owning my stuff (Preview) I have been having trouble getting myself wound up in things that are not mine. I was feeling my A's feeling instead of my own. I was thinking my A dont like what i do. I would become all upset about it. I have been tring to remind myself its not my stuff its my A's stuff. If my A dont like it its my A;s st...	purplebutterfly	0	312	Sep 29, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	He is DRUNK agian (Preview) Hello everyone- My AH left yesterday to start his new job in Georgia- He left around 6 pm and it is about 1200 miles from here-He drove late into the nite,slept in the truck to save $ on a hotel and arrived around 3 pm today. I have talked with him all day off and on, was having a crappy day anyw...	faith	5	475	Sep 29, 2006 by peewee
	ESH please (Preview) My sister is addicted to prescription pain medications. She is on a lot of medications prescribed by physicians. However, they have her so doped up I don't know if she really knows what is going on at any given point. One of the medications she takes daily is Morphine...	Mobirdie	6	495	Sep 29, 2006 by Mobirdie
	AH wants to make a deal (Preview) I've been posting that I am going through with a divorce from my AH. That is still my plan, but he has other plans. AH says if I stop seeing my male friend in another town (yes, I am seeing someone else for a distraction and it is working) he will stop drinking. I told him I've rarely seen him slow down on drink...	Lindy	5	543	Sep 29, 2006 by debilyn
	The Great Bug Out (Preview) When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...	barisax	4	492	Sep 29, 2006 by barisax
	Moving or running? (Preview) I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...	carolinagirl	3	529	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Moral dilemma need help... (Preview) Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...	carolinagirl	9	538	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Made a decission to turn our will and our lives over to the God of our understanding (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...	rtexas	8	471	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	why is this so hard? (Preview) I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...	carolinagirl	5	475	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Removing the victim (Preview) "We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...	twinmom2	6	554	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	confused and torn (Preview) ((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...	feelinhopeful	3	483	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	Took a step to stop enabling. (Preview) So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...	kicky	5	508	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	scrambling for the few crumbs (Preview) I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...	maresie2	5	488	Sep 29, 2006 by leo
	My fortune Cookie said..... (Preview) "Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...	Lunamoth	5	526	Sep 29, 2006 by twinmom2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.