The material presented
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I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind.
Anyhow, my question is...am I feeling this way because I want to run away or am I feeling this way because I really want to go back there? At this point my plan is to save and ride out my 6 month lease on my house and then go in the spring when rents are cheaper and I have my tax return. I am telling myself that I want to do this for my kids' education but I am afraid I am just running.
Dear Carolina Girl, I'm glad you posted ... I won't be saying anything that you don't know already when I say that only you know the answer to your question. In your heart you know what is right for you. As I get older, moving gets less easy, still .... I've relocated a couple of times in the past few years -- most recently for me. and many many years ago I relocated to Boulder because of a job. Boulder was beautiful, is beautiful, but either I didn't know how to meet people or it was just not a good fit for me. But this most recent relocation that I did just for me ... it is like HP is guiding me, I know it sounds weird and it is very different for my very analytical mind, but as I've come to accept HP and have prayed/meditated or whatever one might call it, well, in certain respects around this relocation I feel guided by HP. I've met wonderful supportive people, friends, in and out of the program. Opportunities have come to me here like never before. There are aspects of the relocation that have not gone smoothly, so it is not like it is all rosy -- but there is no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision to relocate to here. I feel more at home here than anywhere I have lived. I could list all the reasons why I should not have moved here, all rational reasons and some that made it a very hard decision, but the truth, my truth, is that I know I made the right choice. I don't know if it is "the place" or if I am further along in my recovery, or what made it work. Probably all that and more, cause we all know that when we move we take all of our baggage with us, emotional and other kinds of baggage. Although, I've met a bunch of people here who feel the same way about this place where we all live. So, I'm glad I took the risk and relocated. Only you know the whole that makes up your life. Daily I look to Step 3 -- whenever I need help I keep repeating that I am putting my life and my will in HP's hands, and ask HP to help me to know the next right thing to do. Take care, emma
I relocated two years ago and have learned one important lesson...you get what you give. I made a conscious decision when I moved to make a concerted effort to make new friends. I didn't wait for people I met to call me, I picked up the phone first. I did a lot of volunteer work in my daughter's school so I could meet other Mom's, worked on the Walk America committee, and our local festival committee. I introduced myself and made sure I got other's names. When I was lonely, I called a new acquantance to say hi, talk about our volunteer work, or set a lunch date. Trust me, this was not easy for me for I am generally pretty shy. But, I had been lonely in my last town and realized it was because I was expecting others to do the legwork. I now have 3 very close friends and tons of acquaintances.
Also...changing schools is very hard on children. We moved when we did so that our daughter could start kindergarten and not have to change schools mid-elementary.
Just food for thought. Good luck with your decision
I think part of your prospective right now is clouded by the alcholism disasters you're trying to deal with.
One of the best things I've found to make connections within the community is service work. And already you're making connections, whether you know it or not, by being active in your local al anon. Keep running around with people from the meetings, keep hanging around with the folks there.
The other thing is I would join a YMCA or sometihng like that where you can be physically active and go regularly, with yourself, by yourself. Do something so that you're moving your body, raising your blood pressure, and getting out. That'll make a HUGE difference in how you feel.
