Confused about being humble - Al-Anon Family Group

kissers · Senior Member

Confused about being humble

Cilla · Senior Member

Hi Kissers.....

Here are some other examples of humble found on Web definitions:

Definitions of humble on the Web:

low or inferior in station or quality; "a humble cottage"; "a lowly parish priest"; "a modest man of the people"; "small beginnings"

marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful; "a humble apology"; "essentially humble...and self-effacing, he achieved the highest formal honors and distinctions"- B.K.Malinowski

cause to be unpretentious; "This experience will humble him"

used of unskilled work (especially domestic work)

humiliate: cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of; "He humiliated his colleague by criticising him in front of the boss"

base: of low birth or station (`base' is archaic in this sense); "baseborn wretches with dirty faces"; "of humble (or lowly) birth"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Humility is the state of being humble. A humble person is generally thought to be unpretentious and modest: someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others. Humility is not to be confused with humiliation, which is the act of making someone else feel ashamed, and is seen as something completely different.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humble

I would be puzzled about the assertive definition also. Although we also shouldn't confuse assertive with arrogrant. There can and should be humbleness in our assertiveness. I do think demanding somebody to do what we want is different than stating what we will accept and what we won't accept. But then we are the one to make the change, for example finding a different job or filing the necessary reports to find a solution is the other person doesn't respect the boundary that we are setting for ourself.

Hope that helps some.

Cilla

kissers · Senior Member

Thanks Cilla for your response. Does anyone have Merriam's phone number? I'd like to call to have her/him take the word assertive out of their dictionary? LOL

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello , well to me in relation to our program being humble means to ask for help . I cannot do this alone anymore . Louise

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

I have come to understand that the best idea of humility is that I know who I am completely, with all of my assests and defects, realizing that I am a creation of God, and understanding that each individual walking God's earth is also his creation. Therefore, it is my job to treat each person as I believe God treats me--with love, respect, acceptance, understanding and compassion.

If I am unable to do this (we all have bad days) I need to realize that I am human, I am not God. God does not need my permission to run the world, nor does God need my recommendations as to HOW s/he should run it. If I have caused another pain, I need to first forgive myself for erring (mistake comes from the latin root "err" meaning "to take the wrong road"), and then go directly to those I have harmed in my err and make amends, asking honestly what it will take to set the wrong right.

If I have formed a resentment against a person, I am to pray for them, that God will give them a joyful spirit, a willing mind, a giving life and a hopeful path for all of their days of living. I need to then ask God to give me a joyful spirit, a willing mind, a giving heart, and a hopeful path to do his will in the future.

This, I was taught, was the essence of humility. It comes over time, with step work, prayer, and a sponsor.

mastiff · Senior Member

I too had a hard time with the "humble" part of the program. When i first came here, my thinking on being humble was that i was to be lowely as well, to take the crumbs and shut up about it too! Probably the best thing I've ever heard about what being humble is was from a friend who spoke to me about meekness. Like you said, the word "meek" was in there as a like word.

Way back when farmers only had horses and oxes to work thier fields, a really good, hard working, strong animal who did his job well was refered to as "meek." A for sale ad might read, Meek mule for sale, hard working, strong and listens well. Isn't it interesting that an animal with 2000 lbs of solid muscle can be refered to as meek? The same word we often think of as weak or lowely?

What I learned from that was, meekness or humility is not about weakness or lowness, it's about using my stenghts and assets the way hp intended instead of the way I choose or act out with. I want to be HP's meek horse, I wanta humble myself to him cause when I do, I am so much stronger, so much healthier. I get to do his work, instead of my damage. My arrogence gets out of my way, cause i'm humbling myself enough to let him take the reins for me. When it comes to the a's or others in my life, i don't necessarlity need to humble myself to them, they are not my "owner." What I try to do instead is to let that humilty to hp show through when I'm around them. Instead of being the doormat of the past, I pick myself up off the floor, humble myself to hp, ask his will and go with it. More times then not, just like the ox, I feel i'm able to help others the right way, thru him comes my strenght, powerfulness, so I'm stable enough to listen and do my job well.

Of course, I have my moments where my big fat heads gets in the way and I do things my way again, but it's always a good wake up call for me of how important humilty is, when it's applied correctly of course.

hope that helped, love ya, Trina

-- Edited by mastiff at 14:24, 2006-10-02

barisax · Senior Member

I have to agree with tiger2006. Being humble to me means being self-honest about my weaknesses AND strengths. Beating myself up over my defects is false humility, and I can't be grateful when I'm doing that. When I acknowledge the good things about myself, and in my life, AND I acknowledge they are gifts from God, not the product of my own will, that's a step in the right direction.

Barisax

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