The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As you all know I have a job, albeit a part time job that is sometimes full time when they have no one else to do it. I hate it that I am not in a position to turn down work there yet. I am looking very very hard for something else but I am human and I can only move at a certain pace. I am also decluttering and organizing my stuff and seeking out support in other areas (over eaters anonymous and therapy). Sometimes I put huge pressure on myself to make huge leaps and act rashly. I am today willing to say I am exactly where my HP wants me to be and will accept this. I deal with a tremendous amount of dysfunction at work (I guess I always will that is some of the nature of work...it is dysfunctional) and I sometimes deeply resent that. Nevertheless I am able to say that I detach better than I did before and that helps tremendously. Right now there are some days I am overwhelmed, sometimes frustrated, I get so close to getting a better job then I miss out once again for various reasons, logistics, timing, not feeling well, not being able to get everything together, there are lots of reasons I know and there are lots of reasons I will never know. Through it all I know that I have the support of this group. When I went on some interviews recently I felt so buoyed by all your encouragement and support. So I want to say thank you to everyone who posted and those who read my stuff about how hard it is somedays and know that I am keeping on with plan b regardless of how slow moving I am somedays.
Hey you, I am afraid to ask. you have been working a long time now, though a low paying job, are you putting the money away or are you paying his bills again?
I am about to rent a uhaul and come and get you and drag you here....
You are doing great, you sound positive and you are moving forward.
Maresie de cluttering is good. I am into feng shui. Any time you go through this process it opens up positive energies and brings change into your life. You are doing great good things will come your way. You may not have achieved what you want as yet but there is movement. ((()) Stay safe. Luv Leo xx
There are some days like today where I rise above his chaos. I do not make enough money hardly to pay my own bills. I gave up helping him with his bills (they call night and day!). He claims to be working night and day but never has a penny. When I work night and day I pay my bills and I earn about a tenth of what he does. The two stories don't correlate. For years he has been saying he is not getting paid. Next time he asks me for money I will recite that back to him. I work but I don't get paid you know how that is.
I just know that a job would help me a great deal. I have only been working this low income job for 3 months, I am on track with my bills but I don't get any to save or to put for needs that are real, like shoes and glasses and dental work. Well it is my responsibility to deal with it so I will whatever I have to do, work 10 jobs I will do it because I know I am sick to the back teeth of dealing with his addiction. As long as it takes me it will take me and I will move ahead.
