The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't really know what to say, only that for the first time in chat today, I was left feeling really angry. I am still a newbie to this and I don't know all the rules yet. Today a person came into chat room, stating he was 21 and looking for insight. I was listening to him, when I noticed a difference in the room. This person was being qiute impertenant, so I asked them to pm me, to relieve tensions. He was nice, no attitude with me, but was continuing the attitude in the room.
He was rude to an op, and I asked him to apologize to the op if he wanted me to talk to him. He did apologize (lol), and continued to talk to me. By this time the op's were getting ready to remove him. Anyway they did remove him.
My anger came because of that, I questioned the op's, I felt they had been too quick to dismiss this person, everyone should have the chance to get help, wether they are AA or Al-Anon.
Well the op explained the rules to me in detail, I told her, I apprecialted that, and I did not mean to offend her.(honestly lol). This person was known to them, he said he was drunk.
I still felt really angry, I kept thinking what If this person had been genuine and needed help. Anyway, I ended up sitting crying about this with sheer anger, I felt really down, for a few hours after that. That made me think. I've spent my life helping others, getting myself upset by others, I am changing for the better now, and I look at this as being a slip on my part today.
I am only human, I have feelings, that showed towards this person today. I thought I could help them. Now I know, I can't fix everybody, or everything, and that's been an important lesson to me. Im still very early into my recovey, and today was a reminder of that.
I would like to say to the ops concerned, I did not mean to question you personally, just the procedure. But as a Scottish lassie, I can't always keep things to myself(as you all know lol)
WOW
Love Ally
Im glad to say my sense of humour returned within a few hours, and I was back in the room causing trouble as usual (rofl)
(((Ally))))) I really miss chat, but I don't get in often anymore because my A gets offended. I do post on the board, when he's not home, but he's often just across the street and likely to pop in anytime. When we were separated, I would spend all day in chat. That's why I don't go in it much anymore, because I don't want to get off if he comes home, and I don't want to fight with him about it. I guess it bothers him cos he's not ready to face his disease. He hates anything "Al-Anon". Imagine that! LOL
Anyway, what I was going to say, was I wasn't there when your incident happened that upset you. But, I am very glad you did not let one instance of anger keep you from the chatroom. As I have heard before, we are all here because we have been affected by someone else's drinking. Sometimes, the way we have been affected clouds our attitude or behavior.
I am glad you chose to continue to visit the chatroom. I learned so much there, and received so much understanding when I needed it most. When I was new, I would spend all day there, as long as someone else was in there too!
What a wonderful post, you really show how this program works. Sometimes even our good intentions offer us insight into ourselves. I'm glad you were able to let the anger go.
I haven't been into chat in a while, but I know it is a wonderful place. The OPs are one reason it is -- but people like you are what truly make it special.
What a good king heart you have, and how sweet for you to reach out.
I know before I was an OP I sometimes didn't get why certain things happened.
Now that I am OPing, I do have a better understanding.
It is good that you saw your part in this (your feelings) and that is all that you can do. Let it go, which by you coming back into the room and "causing trouble" (lol) you did that.
Keep coming back we need a nutjob () just like you in the room.
Yours in recovery,
Mandy
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Interesting... I have done one-on-one chats on line over the years, but I've never cared for group chats. Every medium has its own flavor. I have no problem in a f2f group of people, or on a board like this where everyone can read and post in their own time. The group chat is an odd mix of the on-line prototcols but in real time. It reminds me of my grandpa's ham radio nets. He was a net controller and he had a whole list of rules and procedures to follow. It wasn't the place for casual conversation... more like Roberts Rules of Order on the radio. The group chat is a lot like that, and lacks the intimacy of a real live group meeting.
I'm a very big fan of the no-crosstalk rule in f2f meetings. It lets people finish what they're saying without being interrupted... and a posting board like this works in a similar fashion. Nobody is going to interrupt me while I'm typing. But nobody is forced to read every word of it if I become long-winded (not like that would ever happen)
Anyway, having tried the group chat thing here and there on many different subjects over a number of years, I found it just wasn't for me.
Sometimes I know we have "repeat offenders", people who need AA, and come to Al anon b/c we're much more active. Unfortuneately, they're also drunk/high.
