Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · 13

i dont know what to do... my husband has a drinking problem and its really starting to affect our whole family. i thought it was getting better and now all of a sudden hes drinking and driving, lying about how much hes had or where hes drinking at. i found out he even drank at work... he will lose his job. hes...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't even know where to start. My A gets my mind so twisted like a pretzel that a few hours after the arguement I'm beliving things probably are my fault. I feel like I'm walking through a landmine field lately, one wrong comment and BOOM. My A--who is my BF who is a dry drunk at this point-- used to te...

Holly09 · Holly09

My a boyfriend drove home drunk in my car and is now laying on our bed with dirty disgusting feet and I've told him 2 times to go wash them and he is not moving and I'm getting so pissed off I just want to choke the out of him! I don't want to sleep on the couch tonight I want to sleep in my own bed and I won't with di...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Funny how a single event ( a sentence even) can just take the wind out of my sails and make me feel like I will (or want to) drown. I am not divorced yet. Nothing but procrastination can be blamed at this point. Though nothing is certain, we had determined that most likely, if we were to get divorced and c...

Jozie · Jozie

What a weekend, full of my usual ups and downs and sideways...However, since last weeks melt down..lol.. I have slowly picked up a few lessons along the way.. I have not been speaking to my H for a couple days due to his usual, "Run" effect that seems to happen when I am in need of some assistanc...

wp · wp

Dear God, You saw me working hard for two days clearing out my closet, getting ready for a major wardrobe turnover for your warm and lovely spring , summer. You know I do ALL the work myself...no help lifting, lugging, cleaning. I even patiently controlled my instinct to rip into Hub's gnarly...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

On the way home from my F2F meeting Friday night I had to deal with a problem with my son, and some inappropriate texting to a girl in his class. Needless to say when I got home, we argued, I took his phone, then proceeded after he told me in a rather smart mouth way that "I can live without that cell ph...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Hey everyone. First I want to say I'm so thankfull for this board. I read it ever night I work. I work the graveyard shift. I feel I'm not alone with all of you here and reading all the post. Ok here it My AH has been dinking all our marriage. 30 yrs + I also went out when we were dating but I was never a drinker a d...

Holly09 · Holly09

To make a long story short my A boyfriends cousin is visiting from SC and his family is having a get together this afternoon. I'm not sure if I'm going or not me and my 4 yr old got sunburned yesterday afternoon and my boyfriend isn't sure if there will be any shade at his relatives house (an apartment buil...

chezza · chezza

I would like to say thank for the comfort and encouragement I have received since I started to post on the site. Especially this week. After my first deep share last week on my deepest feelings of resentment I managed to use the al-anon tools to the best of my ability to let of the hurt/expectation I was a...

Alice222 · Alice222

I am not quite sure where to start and sure hope that I am posting in the correct section My AH is very loving and caring person. He is well respected, has many wonderful qualities and makes me feel special for the most part, but he is an A. AH has been a heavy drinker since his teens, and AH is now approachi...

Gailey · Gailey

I am sitting here waiting to hear about my son who was just arrested for a dui. This is just too hard sometimes.

RLC · RLC

Hello To All, For what ever reason that only my AW and HP knows my wife quit drinking 10 days ago. I realized it the day it happened. She had been drinking 12 to 15 beers a day for years. When that day came 10 days ago I could'nt actually believe it, and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wa...

Annie69 · Annie69

It's been awhile. I moved out for awhile so my A could find some place else to live. He was to be moved out yesterday but he was still here. I gave him and his drinkin buddies a choice to get out or I would leave again and turn everything off. He started his crap. But I stood my ground. He left with his bud...

hort7 · hort7

I am learning to let go and let God. I did so with the donation situation (see post on open for thoughts, comments and suggestions a few days ago for the whole story). I let it drop with no answer and did not bring it up again to my AH. I also let it go in MY mind, deciding if it came up again, then I could think a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband got out from detox I have been the model Al-Anon spouse. I've been working my program, going to meetings, and reading my literature - I had everything under control (because I knew my husband was working his program and not drinking). Well today I have a sneaking suspicion that h...

clara · clara

Got the phone call that my friend Helen(that I had mentioned from previous post) passed away today. We never want to loose our loved ones, but she was struggling just to breathe. She was exhausted from the effort. She is now in a far better place than we are now. The Priest came yesterday to adminis...

nycbt · nycbt

HI EVERYONE I wanted to tell you that i have missed all of you. While i was gone I was dealing with my husband telling me that he was and addict he was doing herion. I was having a hard time and I know that when i should of come in but I was so angry over everything. ALso he was getting treated for HEP C so I was deal...

blender_girl · blender_girl

The past couple of days have been up and down for me emotionally. I'm finding that while I can usually maintain my composure during a confrontation or at least physically detach myself from it, the emotional effects inevitably set in the next day.Yesterday I was filled with hurt and sadness. I fel...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

OK, so I took some suggestions from people about my earlier post regarding off-traditions, some might call 'swick' meetings...decided to go do some active practicing 'take what you like and leave the rest'. The highlights: arrived on time, mtg started late. 'How important is it' a woman came in, an...

alizator · alizator

Okay, here is the laundry list for ACOA. I read this everyday as part of my program. This keeps it near the front of my brain. If I get the feeling of dejavu or familiarity, I seem to always find it on the list so I can understand what's going on. Reading the list everyday also allows me to see how mu...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hi Its Lilly, I need to vent..Ive been doing so well, got my sister in law to tell my exAH to leave me alone..I got some silent calls then a nasty one, accusing me of saying things to his ex. Well, I was trying to change my sky account and found emails from him, march 27th (10 days after he went off to his new lif...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hi everyone. I'm new and a little nervous. I'm not sure how to start. I guess my first question is am I supposed to be here only if I've broken off with my ABF? He is going to be 8 years sober this summer, however; he has not been working his program for about a year now and though promised me he'd start ma...

windyturn · windyturn

My step-father is an alcoholic and refuses any sort of help whatsoever. He has been to a meeting in the past, but decided that it wasn't for him. I don't deal with him on any sort of regular basis - but my problem is his drinking and driving. He has a tendency to drink in his truck driving around this rural ar...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I can really see how totally different it is to walk around in your life with being able to detach with love and NOT. Its really just like being able to walk or not. Or read or not. Its that massive and foundational. I could never detach and I certainly could not with love but I am finding that yes I can and...

blender_girl · blender_girl

At the suggestion of my sponsor, I'm putting together lists - what do I want? What am I currently getting? How do I get what I want? This has been very thought-provoking for me and I wanted to share with you what I have discovered so far. What do I want?· To feel valued, cherished, loved, respec...

barisax · barisax

I'm starting a new thread from what Blender Girl started, so as not to spin her thread off in another direction. blender_girl wrote: · To feel valued, cherished, loved, respected, trusted by a partner/spouse/significant other · To be able to trust a partner/spouse/significant other with my thoug...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am obviously a slow learner, but I am learning........slowly. I have learned the HARD way that there are some answers I will never have, and if I did have the EXABF answer them I doubt I would believe him anyway, his version of events tend to change around and mix me up even more. I also am learning...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I'm just wondering how many of you drink even though you are dealing with an alcoholic in your life? I'll admit that I enjoy wine. But I'm the type of person who likes to be relaxed to enjoy a glass or two of wine. These past few weeks have been so stressful, that the thought of having a glass has not been ap...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to take some time to Thank all of you who have held me up the past months, and there have been many of you who have shared ESH, and kept me from falling into the abyss of alcoholism. When I thought I was crazy, I was shown that I wasn't alone, that most of us have been there in one way or another. Ev...

maresie · maresie

My birthday is coming up on May 9th. As many of you know any kind of holiday for me is really difficult. I was falling back into my "poor me" mentality so I've decided to take ownership and try to work on doing things for myself. I can't count on anyone to "do" for me. In fact I don't...

Rora · Rora

I had a long awaited MRI today, which was about an hours drive away. aH, from whom I am separated, knew about the appt at one time, but I didn't remind him or let him know about it. I drove there myself today, which gave me a chance to talk out loud to HP. I realized that often times, what I need is to talk &qu...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Get Sober and Stay Sober! If you want it, just do it. I've had enough, how many chances does he think he will get? How many more chances will I give? Not that many more. This is his last chance. He is on a waiting list for a rehab, I am so looking forward to getting myself together. His next chance is 90 d...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I posted last night about the simple email I was sending my ah regarding the need to have Friday nights be for my recovery and not "date night" with the kids. I appreciated your responses. Just so you know, the reason I did not offer another night is because there isn't one. He i...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

From a book called Choicemaking by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, which is old but I'm getting a lot from it. Symptoms follow (slightly edited because I'm lazy. Typos are all mine, baby!) Fatigue: allowing ourselves to be overly tired and careless about our health. Workaholism: Usually a sign that w...

clara · clara

On May 2nd, our 8 year old twin granddaughters will celebrate their first communion. This is a big event in their lives. We (Hubbie and me) are going to Houston for this occasion; as will their other grandparents from Oklahoma. This also happens to be my AD's birthday!!! I have not told her we ar...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

My life is much simpler than it used to be (AND more serene) but it isn't by choice. About 18 months ago, I fell apart mentally, emotionally, and physically, (which is how I ended up in Al-anon). I've been getting better bit by bit but even now I am physically and mentally unable to do the workload I u...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well, here I am again but this time with a very sad story. I will make it short as possible. I lost my bro in law on Friday. He was very distraught before he died and took off away from home to basically die. We really don't know exactly what he was thinking when he left. He was actually almost a neighbor of ou...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after yesterdays tail spin over EXABF and his possessions. I did the unthinkable, and went on his Myspace page!!! BIG MISTAKE!! Saw that he added yet another new female friend and I went CRAZY! Deleted him from my accto-but that didn't remove any comments etc that I had sent him in the past year...

debilyn · debilyn

Ya know I sit here and it is hard to imagine the horror I went through with the A husband. I mean now, I can just sit and listen to the frogs and see the stars,so good inside and out. Don't have to have that lump in my gut, or be all tore up. No listening to a filthy mouth, complaining, never laughing, no one is me...

Inpain · Inpain

I have to be honest and say I'm learning there is a line here. I also just finished Co-Dependent no more which everyone should read whether they have alcohol in their lives or not. The past 4 months have been a whirlwind. Up and down. Horrible and good. I think that's all part of recovery. My recover...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to say thank you to the people that responded to my post regarding the returning of EXABF's property. I always appreciate input. I don't have a 3rd party that I could utilize to do that sort of thing, and honestly don't feel comfortable involving anyone else in this mess if I did. It's not someo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It was so great to get so many responses--I almost shed a tear. Now the issue is of course being around family that drinks. Most of the family is drowning their sorrows in the bottle. My husband & I decided to spend quality time with all of them but not quantity time. Does that make sense? I am now sort o...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My ex AH has been chemically sober and working an intensive recovery program for about 18 months now. He attends at least 11 recovery-related meetings per week. All of them are 30 min. out of town. I, on the other hand aim for Wednesday and Friday nights, and it is pretty rare that I make both. On Fridays (...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hi Gang! Well, having knowledge of alcholism and knowing more about the disease than my A, and yet still not enough, I saw it coming. As some of you may know, just 1 month ago my Hubby entered in patient rehab. I was excited to attend a weeked alanon retreat the first weekend his was in rehab. Well, he c...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Since saturday my AH has been through the following: Things going awful at work and his boss telling him that its a possibility that the company is gonna close. Getting arrested for fighting with a neighbor, getting beat up by the cops, getting sued by the neighbor... On saturday when he got out of jail...

maresie · maresie

"I am no longer the person described in the first few pages of the this chapter and I am forever grateful for that. I would never want to go back to that life - a sheltered narrow existence fueled by fear and made liveable by isolation, insulation and self indulgence. It was a life lived in a bubble...

Jozie · Jozie

Just for today, I am LETTING GO... I am letting go of all the crap I have been dealing with, I am letting the next step be that of someone else... I have realized that there are somethings that I can not control... I AM POWERLESS... Examples are: I can not control my "Binge"Husband when he gets t...

GypsyRose71 · GypsyRose71

Hi everyone, wanted to post a quick note, I searched around and found some al-anon meetings in my area that i can actually go to!! woohoo!! Twice a week, teusday and fridays, I cant do mondays, due to working at the time the noon meeting is in progress. I am excited and nervouse at the...

Jozie · Jozie

Honestly... I don't know if I am Mad, Hurt, Pissed, or just clear wore out...I think all thee above really... I haven't been on for a couple days, been to much going on with Deseased Afathers "CRAP"... Just when I thought things were looking up, I have realized I was yet again WRONG... NOW aft...

Holly09 · Holly09

I just bought the book last week and finally got a chance to start reading it and it is great so far! Just what I need right now. I'd recommend it to anyone living or having lived in this insanity. Holly

Inpain · Inpain

I went to my individual counselor today. I told her things have been going well in my marriage despite what we have faced in the past 4 months and it's because I'm desperately trying to understand myself and why I control things and trying to let go of that. I have decided to not even ask my husband about...

glad lee · glad lee

I found a powerful quote last week that has stayed with me ever since: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts in the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hope for prote...

maresie · maresie

When I was in a relationship the crucial moments for me was when he said he loved me and when the noun "we" came up. The sooner the better. The crucial moments weren't did we have anything in common, did he have stabiity, did he have an anger issue, did he have a substance abuse problem, did h...

QOD · QOD

My son is in juvie & it has really taken it's toll on me. I thought he'd go to juvie, I'd go visit him a few times and that would be that. But it is so complicated. There are set visitation days and hours. I have to provide him w/any medicine he may need. I even had to make an appt to go in and cut his hair...

chezza · chezza

Hello people Am feeling very emotional tonight as i've been very honest about my feeling to people very close to me this week. I feel I have let loose stuff from inside of me though it does feel incredibly uncomfortable. I have hurt my moms feeling cause I was honest in saying I did not want to go on holida...

J.R. · J.R.

I havent been around too much to post like I used to, but I have been getting in some reading here and there. I just wanted to leave a note to let any who were wondering where I was, so that they wouldnt worry too much and know that I was doing well.

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Take a look at Jerry's recent post on ESH. As always it's honest, encouraging and full of knowledge. I came across a daily reading from our: Courage to Change for April 15. It talks about Alanon's position on safety. Here's part of it: "....Alanon's position is that we must e...

hort7 · hort7

Here's the situation. My A husband had been sober 9 months, attends AA 2-3 times weekly, 2 times with his homegroup. After his meeting the other night, he brought up the fact that a lady in his homegroup is unemployed and has a soft top on her Jeep that is held together by duct tape. It leaks and is miserabl...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Haven't been here for a bit, still trying to find my way back to my program. Haven't let go of it and feel stronger daily but still a far cry from where I need to be. ExABF has told a mutual friend that he will need to be contacting me at some point to get his things (the only things he has left at my house is his g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	dont know what to do (Preview) i dont know what to do... my husband has a drinking problem and its really starting to affect our whole family. i thought it was getting better and now all of a sudden hes drinking and driving, lying about how much hes had or where hes drinking at. i found out he even drank at work... he will lose his job. hes...	13	8	695	Apr 27, 2009 by maresie
	It's official, I'm crazy. (Preview) I don't even know where to start. My A gets my mind so twisted like a pretzel that a few hours after the arguement I'm beliving things probably are my fault. I feel like I'm walking through a landmine field lately, one wrong comment and BOOM. My A--who is my BF who is a dry drunk at this point-- used to te...	lizzakiss	5	1388	Apr 27, 2009 by maresie
	I'm so irritated! (Preview) My a boyfriend drove home drunk in my car and is now laying on our bed with dirty disgusting feet and I've told him 2 times to go wash them and he is not moving and I'm getting so pissed off I just want to choke the out of him! I don't want to sleep on the couch tonight I want to sleep in my own bed and I won't with di...	Holly09	5	810	Apr 27, 2009 by maresie
	avoiding the inevitable... (Preview) Funny how a single event ( a sentence even) can just take the wind out of my sails and make me feel like I will (or want to) drown. I am not divorced yet. Nothing but procrastination can be blamed at this point. Though nothing is certain, we had determined that most likely, if we were to get divorced and c...	Loupiness	2	386	Apr 27, 2009 by carolinagirl
	My Roller Coaster is going forward again : ) (Preview) What a weekend, full of my usual ups and downs and sideways...However, since last weeks melt down..lol.. I have slowly picked up a few lessons along the way.. I have not been speaking to my H for a couple days due to his usual, "Run" effect that seems to happen when I am in need of some assistanc...	Jozie	3	1025	Apr 27, 2009 by blender_girl
	Spring volcano in my shed...WHY (Preview) Dear God, You saw me working hard for two days clearing out my closet, getting ready for a major wardrobe turnover for your warm and lovely spring , summer. You know I do ALL the work myself...no help lifting, lugging, cleaning. I even patiently controlled my instinct to rip into Hub's gnarly...	wp	7	533	Apr 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	Being Grateful (Preview) On the way home from my F2F meeting Friday night I had to deal with a problem with my son, and some inappropriate texting to a girl in his class. Needless to say when I got home, we argued, I took his phone, then proceeded after he told me in a rather smart mouth way that "I can live without that cell ph...	shellyj123	5	551	Apr 27, 2009 by Rora
	Need some help with my son. (Preview) Hey everyone. First I want to say I'm so thankfull for this board. I read it ever night I work. I work the graveyard shift. I feel I'm not alone with all of you here and reading all the post. Ok here it My AH has been dinking all our marriage. 30 yrs + I also went out when we were dating but I was never a drinker a d...	peacewithin	6	660	Apr 27, 2009 by peacewithin
	trying to stay focused on me (Preview) To make a long story short my A boyfriends cousin is visiting from SC and his family is having a get together this afternoon. I'm not sure if I'm going or not me and my 4 yr old got sunburned yesterday afternoon and my boyfriend isn't sure if there will be any shade at his relatives house (an apartment buil...	Holly09	3	509	Apr 26, 2009 by Jozie
	Showing gratitude (Preview) I would like to say thank for the comfort and encouragement I have received since I started to post on the site. Especially this week. After my first deep share last week on my deepest feelings of resentment I managed to use the al-anon tools to the best of my ability to let of the hurt/expectation I was a...	chezza	2	528	Apr 26, 2009 by Jozie
	I Guess this is a Start in the Rigth Direction (Preview) I am not quite sure where to start and sure hope that I am posting in the correct section My AH is very loving and caring person. He is well respected, has many wonderful qualities and makes me feel special for the most part, but he is an A. AH has been a heavy drinker since his teens, and AH is now approachi...	Alice222	4	474	Apr 26, 2009 by Christy
	my son's relapse (Preview) I am sitting here waiting to hear about my son who was just arrested for a dui. This is just too hard sometimes.	Gailey	8	609	Apr 26, 2009 by Christy
	To My MIP Family (Preview) Hello To All, For what ever reason that only my AW and HP knows my wife quit drinking 10 days ago. I realized it the day it happened. She had been drinking 12 to 15 beers a day for years. When that day came 10 days ago I could'nt actually believe it, and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wa...	RLC	8	602	Apr 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	Can't stand no more (Preview) It's been awhile. I moved out for awhile so my A could find some place else to live. He was to be moved out yesterday but he was still here. I gave him and his drinkin buddies a choice to get out or I would leave again and turn everything off. He started his crap. But I stood my ground. He left with his bud...	Annie69	4	474	Apr 25, 2009 by shellyj123
	Update on Open for thoughts, comments, suggestions (Preview) I am learning to let go and let God. I did so with the donation situation (see post on open for thoughts, comments and suggestions a few days ago for the whole story). I let it drop with no answer and did not bring it up again to my AH. I also let it go in MY mind, deciding if it came up again, then I could think a...	hort7	4	479	Apr 25, 2009 by hort7
	Everything's great until the suspicion comes in. (Preview) Ever since my husband got out from detox I have been the model Al-Anon spouse. I've been working my program, going to meetings, and reading my literature - I had everything under control (because I knew my husband was working his program and not drinking). Well today I have a sneaking suspicion that h...	N8SMOM	7	729	Apr 25, 2009 by SLS
	My friend passed away today (Preview) Got the phone call that my friend Helen(that I had mentioned from previous post) passed away today. We never want to loose our loved ones, but she was struggling just to breathe. She was exhausted from the effort. She is now in a far better place than we are now. The Priest came yesterday to adminis...	clara	17	1828	Apr 25, 2009 by Aerion
	I AM BACK (Preview) HI EVERYONE I wanted to tell you that i have missed all of you. While i was gone I was dealing with my husband telling me that he was and addict he was doing herion. I was having a hard time and I know that when i should of come in but I was so angry over everything. ALso he was getting treated for HEP C so I was deal...	nycbt	5	532	Apr 25, 2009 by Karilynn
	Clawing my way out of that hole in the road (Preview) The past couple of days have been up and down for me emotionally. I'm finding that while I can usually maintain my composure during a confrontation or at least physically detach myself from it, the emotional effects inevitably set in the next day.Yesterday I was filled with hurt and sadness. I fel...	blender_girl	5	467	Apr 25, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	nutty meeting today... (Preview) OK, so I took some suggestions from people about my earlier post regarding off-traditions, some might call 'swick' meetings...decided to go do some active practicing 'take what you like and leave the rest'. The highlights: arrived on time, mtg started late. 'How important is it' a woman came in, an...	alanonicScotland	6	711	Apr 25, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	The ACOA Laundry List (Preview) Okay, here is the laundry list for ACOA. I read this everyday as part of my program. This keeps it near the front of my brain. If I get the feeling of dejavu or familiarity, I seem to always find it on the list so I can understand what's going on. Reading the list everyday also allows me to see how mu...	alizator	5	9410	Apr 25, 2009 by Melissa21
	So upset/mad/hurt (Preview) Hi Its Lilly, I need to vent..Ive been doing so well, got my sister in law to tell my exAH to leave me alone..I got some silent calls then a nasty one, accusing me of saying things to his ex. Well, I was trying to change my sky account and found emails from him, march 27th (10 days after he went off to his new lif...	Lilly Burn	8	512	Apr 25, 2009 by kitty
	Hi, I'm new... (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new and a little nervous. I'm not sure how to start. I guess my first question is am I supposed to be here only if I've broken off with my ABF? He is going to be 8 years sober this summer, however; he has not been working his program for about a year now and though promised me he'd start ma...	lizzakiss	9	607	Apr 25, 2009 by kitty
	A moral problem that I'm having (Preview) My step-father is an alcoholic and refuses any sort of help whatsoever. He has been to a meeting in the past, but decided that it wasn't for him. I don't deal with him on any sort of regular basis - but my problem is his drinking and driving. He has a tendency to drink in his truck driving around this rural ar...	windyturn	5	617	Apr 25, 2009 by kitty
	learning to detach with love is like learning to walk... (Preview) I can really see how totally different it is to walk around in your life with being able to detach with love and NOT. Its really just like being able to walk or not. Or read or not. Its that massive and foundational. I could never detach and I certainly could not with love but I am finding that yes I can and...	Jean4444	4	2239	Apr 25, 2009 by GypsyRose71
	What I want vs what am I getting (Preview) At the suggestion of my sponsor, I'm putting together lists - what do I want? What am I currently getting? How do I get what I want? This has been very thought-provoking for me and I wanted to share with you what I have discovered so far. What do I want?· To feel valued, cherished, loved, respec...	blender_girl	4	579	Apr 25, 2009 by BBGIRL
	Accepting Gifts (Preview) I'm starting a new thread from what Blender Girl started, so as not to spin her thread off in another direction. blender_girl wrote: · To feel valued, cherished, loved, respected, trusted by a partner/spouse/significant other · To be able to trust a partner/spouse/significant other with my thoug...	barisax	2	569	Apr 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	I am learning.........S-L-O-W-L-Y (Preview) I am obviously a slow learner, but I am learning........slowly. I have learned the HARD way that there are some answers I will never have, and if I did have the EXABF answer them I doubt I would believe him anyway, his version of events tend to change around and mix me up even more. I also am learning...	shellyj123	1	449	Apr 24, 2009 by Rora
	Do you Drink? (Preview) I'm just wondering how many of you drink even though you are dealing with an alcoholic in your life? I'll admit that I enjoy wine. But I'm the type of person who likes to be relaxed to enjoy a glass or two of wine. These past few weeks have been so stressful, that the thought of having a glass has not been ap...	N8SMOM	24	809	Apr 24, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Letting go, letting God and holding on with all I've got... (Preview) I wanted to take some time to Thank all of you who have held me up the past months, and there have been many of you who have shared ESH, and kept me from falling into the abyss of alcoholism. When I thought I was crazy, I was shown that I wasn't alone, that most of us have been there in one way or another. Ev...	shellyj123	8	696	Apr 24, 2009 by Christy
	Birthdays. (Preview) My birthday is coming up on May 9th. As many of you know any kind of holiday for me is really difficult. I was falling back into my "poor me" mentality so I've decided to take ownership and try to work on doing things for myself. I can't count on anyone to "do" for me. In fact I don't...	maresie	3	450	Apr 24, 2009 by blender_girl
	Feeling alone... because I am...and it's okay. (Preview) I had a long awaited MRI today, which was about an hours drive away. aH, from whom I am separated, knew about the appt at one time, but I didn't remind him or let him know about it. I drove there myself today, which gave me a chance to talk out loud to HP. I realized that often times, what I need is to talk &qu...	Rora	6	519	Apr 24, 2009 by maresie
	Just Do It Already!!! (Preview) Get Sober and Stay Sober! If you want it, just do it. I've had enough, how many chances does he think he will get? How many more chances will I give? Not that many more. This is his last chance. He is on a waiting list for a rehab, I am so looking forward to getting myself together. His next chance is 90 d...	Sincerely	4	634	Apr 24, 2009 by Ness
	Well, who woulda thunk? (Preview) Hi Friends, I posted last night about the simple email I was sending my ah regarding the need to have Friday nights be for my recovery and not "date night" with the kids. I appreciated your responses. Just so you know, the reason I did not offer another night is because there isn't one. He i...	Loupiness	2	568	Apr 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	Co-dependent relapse symptoms (Preview) From a book called Choicemaking by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, which is old but I'm getting a lot from it. Symptoms follow (slightly edited because I'm lazy. Typos are all mine, baby!) Fatigue: allowing ourselves to be overly tired and careless about our health. Workaholism: Usually a sign that w...	gngcrzy	6	734	Apr 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	It's supposed to be a Happy Event (Preview) On May 2nd, our 8 year old twin granddaughters will celebrate their first communion. This is a big event in their lives. We (Hubbie and me) are going to Houston for this occasion; as will their other grandparents from Oklahoma. This also happens to be my AD's birthday!!! I have not told her we ar...	clara	5	523	Apr 23, 2009 by clara
	Frustrated by "simplicity" (Preview) My life is much simpler than it used to be (AND more serene) but it isn't by choice. About 18 months ago, I fell apart mentally, emotionally, and physically, (which is how I ended up in Al-anon). I've been getting better bit by bit but even now I am physically and mentally unable to do the workload I u...	gngcrzy	8	709	Apr 23, 2009 by abbyal
	Experienced a losss (Preview) Well, here I am again but this time with a very sad story. I will make it short as possible. I lost my bro in law on Friday. He was very distraught before he died and took off away from home to basically die. We really don't know exactly what he was thinking when he left. He was actually almost a neighbor of ou...	Hoot Nanny	10	596	Apr 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	Can someone please tell me when I lost my mind? (Preview) Well after yesterdays tail spin over EXABF and his possessions. I did the unthinkable, and went on his Myspace page!!! BIG MISTAKE!! Saw that he added yet another new female friend and I went CRAZY! Deleted him from my accto-but that didn't remove any comments etc that I had sent him in the past year...	shellyj123	13	669	Apr 23, 2009 by clara
	Being A-less (Preview) Ya know I sit here and it is hard to imagine the horror I went through with the A husband. I mean now, I can just sit and listen to the frogs and see the stars,so good inside and out. Don't have to have that lump in my gut, or be all tore up. No listening to a filthy mouth, complaining, never laughing, no one is me...	debilyn	9	605	Apr 23, 2009 by tiredtonite
	helping vs. enabling (Preview) I have to be honest and say I'm learning there is a line here. I also just finished Co-Dependent no more which everyone should read whether they have alcohol in their lives or not. The past 4 months have been a whirlwind. Up and down. Horrible and good. I think that's all part of recovery. My recover...	Inpain	7	681	Apr 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Returning his possessions update.......WHY can't EXABF see what he is doing to me and just let me be???? (Preview) I wanted to say thank you to the people that responded to my post regarding the returning of EXABF's property. I always appreciate input. I don't have a 3rd party that I could utilize to do that sort of thing, and honestly don't feel comfortable involving anyone else in this mess if I did. It's not someo...	shellyj123	10	838	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Thanks for the ESH & all the love... (Preview) It was so great to get so many responses--I almost shed a tear. Now the issue is of course being around family that drinks. Most of the family is drowning their sorrows in the bottle. My husband & I decided to spend quality time with all of them but not quantity time. Does that make sense? I am now sort o...	Hoot Nanny	0	475	Apr 23, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	there is serenity in simplicity.... (Preview) My ex AH has been chemically sober and working an intensive recovery program for about 18 months now. He attends at least 11 recovery-related meetings per week. All of them are 30 min. out of town. I, on the other hand aim for Wednesday and Friday nights, and it is pretty rare that I make both. On Fridays (...	Loupiness	6	629	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Rehab Round 2 (Preview) Hi Gang! Well, having knowledge of alcholism and knowing more about the disease than my A, and yet still not enough, I saw it coming. As some of you may know, just 1 month ago my Hubby entered in patient rehab. I was excited to attend a weeked alanon retreat the first weekend his was in rehab. Well, he c...	Sincerely	2	480	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Trying NOT to get my hopes up (Preview) Since saturday my AH has been through the following: Things going awful at work and his boss telling him that its a possibility that the company is gonna close. Getting arrested for fighting with a neighbor, getting beat up by the cops, getting sued by the neighbor... On saturday when he got out of jail...	Priscilla83	8	677	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	feeling lucky (Preview) "I am no longer the person described in the first few pages of the this chapter and I am forever grateful for that. I would never want to go back to that life - a sheltered narrow existence fueled by fear and made liveable by isolation, insulation and self indulgence. It was a life lived in a bubble...	maresie	0	375	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Todays New Face.... (Preview) Just for today, I am LETTING GO... I am letting go of all the crap I have been dealing with, I am letting the next step be that of someone else... I have realized that there are somethings that I can not control... I AM POWERLESS... Examples are: I can not control my "Binge"Husband when he gets t...	Jozie	5	547	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Found meetings (Preview) Hi everyone, wanted to post a quick note, I searched around and found some al-anon meetings in my area that i can actually go to!! woohoo!! Twice a week, teusday and fridays, I cant do mondays, due to working at the time the noon meeting is in progress. I am excited and nervouse at the...	GypsyRose71	3	491	Apr 23, 2009 by Jozie
	More Bumps In My Road... :( (Preview) Honestly... I don't know if I am Mad, Hurt, Pissed, or just clear wore out...I think all thee above really... I haven't been on for a couple days, been to much going on with Deseased Afathers "CRAP"... Just when I thought things were looking up, I have realized I was yet again WRONG... NOW aft...	Jozie	2	642	Apr 23, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Getting Them Sober (the book) (Preview) I just bought the book last week and finally got a chance to start reading it and it is great so far! Just what I need right now. I'd recommend it to anyone living or having lived in this insanity. Holly	Holly09	3	709	Apr 22, 2009 by canadianguy
	How far does Co-Dependency reach? (Preview) I went to my individual counselor today. I told her things have been going well in my marriage despite what we have faced in the past 4 months and it's because I'm desperately trying to understand myself and why I control things and trying to let go of that. I have decided to not even ask my husband about...	Inpain	9	1229	Apr 22, 2009 by maresie
	I did not disintegrate! (Preview) I found a powerful quote last week that has stayed with me ever since: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts in the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hope for prote...	glad lee	8	693	Apr 22, 2009 by maresie
	Getting to We (Preview) When I was in a relationship the crucial moments for me was when he said he loved me and when the noun "we" came up. The sooner the better. The crucial moments weren't did we have anything in common, did he have stabiity, did he have an anger issue, did he have a substance abuse problem, did h...	maresie	5	778	Apr 22, 2009 by maresie
	It's all so confusing (Preview) My son is in juvie & it has really taken it's toll on me. I thought he'd go to juvie, I'd go visit him a few times and that would be that. But it is so complicated. There are set visitation days and hours. I have to provide him w/any medicine he may need. I even had to make an appt to go in and cut his hair...	QOD	6	781	Apr 22, 2009 by QOD
	feeling a whole load of emotions (Preview) Hello people Am feeling very emotional tonight as i've been very honest about my feeling to people very close to me this week. I feel I have let loose stuff from inside of me though it does feel incredibly uncomfortable. I have hurt my moms feeling cause I was honest in saying I did not want to go on holida...	chezza	4	766	Apr 22, 2009 by Mariner
	One day at a time (Preview) I havent been around too much to post like I used to, but I have been getting in some reading here and there. I just wanted to leave a note to let any who were wondering where I was, so that they wouldnt worry too much and know that I was doing well.	J.R.	2	578	Apr 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Safety first. (Preview) ((((Family))), Take a look at Jerry's recent post on ESH. As always it's honest, encouraging and full of knowledge. I came across a daily reading from our: Courage to Change for April 15. It talks about Alanon's position on safety. Here's part of it: "....Alanon's position is that we must e...	Karilynn	2	1045	Apr 21, 2009 by wp
	Open for thoughts, comments, suggestions (Preview) Here's the situation. My A husband had been sober 9 months, attends AA 2-3 times weekly, 2 times with his homegroup. After his meeting the other night, he brought up the fact that a lady in his homegroup is unemployed and has a soft top on her Jeep that is held together by duct tape. It leaks and is miserabl...	hort7	6	968	Apr 21, 2009 by hort7
	In need of some input and ESH.....not strong enough for this yet... I know it. (Preview) Haven't been here for a bit, still trying to find my way back to my program. Haven't let go of it and feel stronger daily but still a far cry from where I need to be. ExABF has told a mutual friend that he will need to be contacting me at some point to get his things (the only things he has left at my house is his g...	shellyj123	4	934	Apr 21, 2009 by Mariner
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.