Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hort7 · hort7

I am learning to let go and let God. I did so with the donation situation (see post on open for thoughts, comments and suggestions a few days ago for the whole story). I let it drop with no answer and did not bring it up again to my AH. I also let it go in MY mind, deciding if it came up again, then I could think a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband got out from detox I have been the model Al-Anon spouse. I've been working my program, going to meetings, and reading my literature - I had everything under control (because I knew my husband was working his program and not drinking). Well today I have a sneaking suspicion that h...

clara · clara

Got the phone call that my friend Helen(that I had mentioned from previous post) passed away today. We never want to loose our loved ones, but she was struggling just to breathe. She was exhausted from the effort. She is now in a far better place than we are now. The Priest came yesterday to adminis...

nycbt · nycbt

HI EVERYONE I wanted to tell you that i have missed all of you. While i was gone I was dealing with my husband telling me that he was and addict he was doing herion. I was having a hard time and I know that when i should of come in but I was so angry over everything. ALso he was getting treated for HEP C so I was deal...

blender_girl · blender_girl

The past couple of days have been up and down for me emotionally. I'm finding that while I can usually maintain my composure during a confrontation or at least physically detach myself from it, the emotional effects inevitably set in the next day.Yesterday I was filled with hurt and sadness. I fel...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

OK, so I took some suggestions from people about my earlier post regarding off-traditions, some might call 'swick' meetings...decided to go do some active practicing 'take what you like and leave the rest'. The highlights: arrived on time, mtg started late. 'How important is it' a woman came in, an...

alizator · alizator

Okay, here is the laundry list for ACOA. I read this everyday as part of my program. This keeps it near the front of my brain. If I get the feeling of dejavu or familiarity, I seem to always find it on the list so I can understand what's going on. Reading the list everyday also allows me to see how mu...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hi Its Lilly, I need to vent..Ive been doing so well, got my sister in law to tell my exAH to leave me alone..I got some silent calls then a nasty one, accusing me of saying things to his ex. Well, I was trying to change my sky account and found emails from him, march 27th (10 days after he went off to his new lif...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hi everyone. I'm new and a little nervous. I'm not sure how to start. I guess my first question is am I supposed to be here only if I've broken off with my ABF? He is going to be 8 years sober this summer, however; he has not been working his program for about a year now and though promised me he'd start ma...

windyturn · windyturn

My step-father is an alcoholic and refuses any sort of help whatsoever. He has been to a meeting in the past, but decided that it wasn't for him. I don't deal with him on any sort of regular basis - but my problem is his drinking and driving. He has a tendency to drink in his truck driving around this rural ar...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I can really see how totally different it is to walk around in your life with being able to detach with love and NOT. Its really just like being able to walk or not. Or read or not. Its that massive and foundational. I could never detach and I certainly could not with love but I am finding that yes I can and...

blender_girl · blender_girl

At the suggestion of my sponsor, I'm putting together lists - what do I want? What am I currently getting? How do I get what I want? This has been very thought-provoking for me and I wanted to share with you what I have discovered so far. What do I want?· To feel valued, cherished, loved, respec...

barisax · barisax

I'm starting a new thread from what Blender Girl started, so as not to spin her thread off in another direction. blender_girl wrote: · To feel valued, cherished, loved, respected, trusted by a partner/spouse/significant other · To be able to trust a partner/spouse/significant other with my thoug...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am obviously a slow learner, but I am learning........slowly. I have learned the HARD way that there are some answers I will never have, and if I did have the EXABF answer them I doubt I would believe him anyway, his version of events tend to change around and mix me up even more. I also am learning...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I'm just wondering how many of you drink even though you are dealing with an alcoholic in your life? I'll admit that I enjoy wine. But I'm the type of person who likes to be relaxed to enjoy a glass or two of wine. These past few weeks have been so stressful, that the thought of having a glass has not been ap...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to take some time to Thank all of you who have held me up the past months, and there have been many of you who have shared ESH, and kept me from falling into the abyss of alcoholism. When I thought I was crazy, I was shown that I wasn't alone, that most of us have been there in one way or another. Ev...

maresie · maresie

My birthday is coming up on May 9th. As many of you know any kind of holiday for me is really difficult. I was falling back into my "poor me" mentality so I've decided to take ownership and try to work on doing things for myself. I can't count on anyone to "do" for me. In fact I don't...

Rora · Rora

I had a long awaited MRI today, which was about an hours drive away. aH, from whom I am separated, knew about the appt at one time, but I didn't remind him or let him know about it. I drove there myself today, which gave me a chance to talk out loud to HP. I realized that often times, what I need is to talk &qu...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Get Sober and Stay Sober! If you want it, just do it. I've had enough, how many chances does he think he will get? How many more chances will I give? Not that many more. This is his last chance. He is on a waiting list for a rehab, I am so looking forward to getting myself together. His next chance is 90 d...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I posted last night about the simple email I was sending my ah regarding the need to have Friday nights be for my recovery and not "date night" with the kids. I appreciated your responses. Just so you know, the reason I did not offer another night is because there isn't one. He i...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

From a book called Choicemaking by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, which is old but I'm getting a lot from it. Symptoms follow (slightly edited because I'm lazy. Typos are all mine, baby!) Fatigue: allowing ourselves to be overly tired and careless about our health. Workaholism: Usually a sign that w...

clara · clara

On May 2nd, our 8 year old twin granddaughters will celebrate their first communion. This is a big event in their lives. We (Hubbie and me) are going to Houston for this occasion; as will their other grandparents from Oklahoma. This also happens to be my AD's birthday!!! I have not told her we ar...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

My life is much simpler than it used to be (AND more serene) but it isn't by choice. About 18 months ago, I fell apart mentally, emotionally, and physically, (which is how I ended up in Al-anon). I've been getting better bit by bit but even now I am physically and mentally unable to do the workload I u...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well, here I am again but this time with a very sad story. I will make it short as possible. I lost my bro in law on Friday. He was very distraught before he died and took off away from home to basically die. We really don't know exactly what he was thinking when he left. He was actually almost a neighbor of ou...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after yesterdays tail spin over EXABF and his possessions. I did the unthinkable, and went on his Myspace page!!! BIG MISTAKE!! Saw that he added yet another new female friend and I went CRAZY! Deleted him from my accto-but that didn't remove any comments etc that I had sent him in the past year...

debilyn · debilyn

Ya know I sit here and it is hard to imagine the horror I went through with the A husband. I mean now, I can just sit and listen to the frogs and see the stars,so good inside and out. Don't have to have that lump in my gut, or be all tore up. No listening to a filthy mouth, complaining, never laughing, no one is me...

Inpain · Inpain

I have to be honest and say I'm learning there is a line here. I also just finished Co-Dependent no more which everyone should read whether they have alcohol in their lives or not. The past 4 months have been a whirlwind. Up and down. Horrible and good. I think that's all part of recovery. My recover...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to say thank you to the people that responded to my post regarding the returning of EXABF's property. I always appreciate input. I don't have a 3rd party that I could utilize to do that sort of thing, and honestly don't feel comfortable involving anyone else in this mess if I did. It's not someo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It was so great to get so many responses--I almost shed a tear. Now the issue is of course being around family that drinks. Most of the family is drowning their sorrows in the bottle. My husband & I decided to spend quality time with all of them but not quantity time. Does that make sense? I am now sort o...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My ex AH has been chemically sober and working an intensive recovery program for about 18 months now. He attends at least 11 recovery-related meetings per week. All of them are 30 min. out of town. I, on the other hand aim for Wednesday and Friday nights, and it is pretty rare that I make both. On Fridays (...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hi Gang! Well, having knowledge of alcholism and knowing more about the disease than my A, and yet still not enough, I saw it coming. As some of you may know, just 1 month ago my Hubby entered in patient rehab. I was excited to attend a weeked alanon retreat the first weekend his was in rehab. Well, he c...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Since saturday my AH has been through the following: Things going awful at work and his boss telling him that its a possibility that the company is gonna close. Getting arrested for fighting with a neighbor, getting beat up by the cops, getting sued by the neighbor... On saturday when he got out of jail...

maresie · maresie

"I am no longer the person described in the first few pages of the this chapter and I am forever grateful for that. I would never want to go back to that life - a sheltered narrow existence fueled by fear and made liveable by isolation, insulation and self indulgence. It was a life lived in a bubble...

Jozie · Jozie

Just for today, I am LETTING GO... I am letting go of all the crap I have been dealing with, I am letting the next step be that of someone else... I have realized that there are somethings that I can not control... I AM POWERLESS... Examples are: I can not control my "Binge"Husband when he gets t...

GypsyRose71 · GypsyRose71

Hi everyone, wanted to post a quick note, I searched around and found some al-anon meetings in my area that i can actually go to!! woohoo!! Twice a week, teusday and fridays, I cant do mondays, due to working at the time the noon meeting is in progress. I am excited and nervouse at the...

Jozie · Jozie

Honestly... I don't know if I am Mad, Hurt, Pissed, or just clear wore out...I think all thee above really... I haven't been on for a couple days, been to much going on with Deseased Afathers "CRAP"... Just when I thought things were looking up, I have realized I was yet again WRONG... NOW aft...

Holly09 · Holly09

I just bought the book last week and finally got a chance to start reading it and it is great so far! Just what I need right now. I'd recommend it to anyone living or having lived in this insanity. Holly

Inpain · Inpain

I went to my individual counselor today. I told her things have been going well in my marriage despite what we have faced in the past 4 months and it's because I'm desperately trying to understand myself and why I control things and trying to let go of that. I have decided to not even ask my husband about...

glad lee · glad lee

I found a powerful quote last week that has stayed with me ever since: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts in the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hope for prote...

maresie · maresie

When I was in a relationship the crucial moments for me was when he said he loved me and when the noun "we" came up. The sooner the better. The crucial moments weren't did we have anything in common, did he have stabiity, did he have an anger issue, did he have a substance abuse problem, did h...

QOD · QOD

My son is in juvie & it has really taken it's toll on me. I thought he'd go to juvie, I'd go visit him a few times and that would be that. But it is so complicated. There are set visitation days and hours. I have to provide him w/any medicine he may need. I even had to make an appt to go in and cut his hair...

chezza · chezza

Hello people Am feeling very emotional tonight as i've been very honest about my feeling to people very close to me this week. I feel I have let loose stuff from inside of me though it does feel incredibly uncomfortable. I have hurt my moms feeling cause I was honest in saying I did not want to go on holida...

J.R. · J.R.

I havent been around too much to post like I used to, but I have been getting in some reading here and there. I just wanted to leave a note to let any who were wondering where I was, so that they wouldnt worry too much and know that I was doing well.

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Take a look at Jerry's recent post on ESH. As always it's honest, encouraging and full of knowledge. I came across a daily reading from our: Courage to Change for April 15. It talks about Alanon's position on safety. Here's part of it: "....Alanon's position is that we must e...

hort7 · hort7

Here's the situation. My A husband had been sober 9 months, attends AA 2-3 times weekly, 2 times with his homegroup. After his meeting the other night, he brought up the fact that a lady in his homegroup is unemployed and has a soft top on her Jeep that is held together by duct tape. It leaks and is miserabl...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Haven't been here for a bit, still trying to find my way back to my program. Haven't let go of it and feel stronger daily but still a far cry from where I need to be. ExABF has told a mutual friend that he will need to be contacting me at some point to get his things (the only things he has left at my house is his g...

haasity · haasity

I have just started my journey into my healing process. I'm just starting counseling and trying to learn as much as I can. I've learned I am quite co dependent. I've also learned I am an ACOA. My husband just came out of rehab the beginning of the month for alcohol. has gone to one meeting, and has drank a co...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I have this incredible urge to just get the heck out of town. Since we had to cancel our Hawaii trip, I feel like I've been jipped out of a vacation. I am thinking about driving to San Diego (it's a 6-hour drive from here). I think it would be nice to sit on the beach and maybe take our son to Sea World. My hu...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Hi MIP family. I'm having a HALT moment (ok, a lot of them in a row) today and just need to vent. I'm Hurt, Angry, Lonely and Tired. So here's the story: Last night my AH is telling me about his gig that he played Saturday afternoon. They had a good crowd, everybody loves them, etc, etc.... Some of our frie...

maresie · maresie

I've manged to get some dental insurance. As you all know getting the card and so being able to begin the treatment takes a while. Of course I want the card yesterday. I've always done this and had no idea how destructive this kind of obsessing is! Maresie.

StephanieKay · StephanieKay

Hello all. My name is Stephanie and I'm a 26 - year old daughter of a recovering addict. Make that a daughter, niece, granddaughter, sister, etc of several current / recovering addicts. I have found this place after many years of detaching. The purpose I want to achieve is to let go of the hurt and be...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family....I was out side doing some carpentry stuff and just focusing and then free wheeling with my brain and then I got locked up on some current events that are growing here in the islands and also up where you all are at. Lots of guns sales. Lots of angry out of control guys out there with guns. ...

HangingOn · HangingOn

Hi All...AH came home from 30 day rehab yesterday. He is saying all the right things and attended AA last night and tonight. I left him alone for 1.5 hours tonight after he returned from his AA meeting. When I got back he seemed high. He took one 100 mg. seroquel (provided by his rehab doc) and claimed...

florida · florida

tried to sign up for DUI class (first time offense) in Florida. Told since it was a MA license I need to do the MA hours requirement. In FL first DUI is 12 hrs, subsequent is 22? - anyone know the amount in MA? I may need to take the 2nd offense DUI class hours YES I got stuck for my boyfriends DUI! changed seats...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, I finally took the kids to visit my ex ah. He was released from prison about 6 weeks ago and is living in an oxford house. He paid $500 on his child support this month and I agreed to bring them down to see him. He took them to the beach and out shopping and the kids had a good day. Even the oldest went (...

GypsyRose71 · GypsyRose71

Well, I just wanted to say helllo to all the al-anon members, i have been one for a few years though havent posted in a long time, much has happened since my last post, My A has been on and off the wagon, he made it 16 months, since then he has struggled to get back to where he was. I have learned a lot in the past...

Gailey · Gailey

I had a nice weekend planned at our beach home in Delaware. The weather was about 75 degrees on Saturday. My older A son went to NC for a fishing tournament. My youngerr A son lives in Japan. I could not settle my mind thinking that things were not right with either one of them. I was awake half the night on Sa...

debilyn · debilyn

debilyn here. Karilynn I am so sad about the theft. You are such a nice person and I know you took it hard. When I think about how my aunt did not give me my gma's rings as gma wanted..rrrr I think how I had a special love with grama. I am like you and hold sentimental value for my jewely from others. My daughter...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I went with my AH to the beach this easter weekend. Had fun. This is the fist vacation since I got pregnant that he didn't get drunk. Our daughter is so attached to him, she cries when he leaves for the supermarket. As I posted before, we are not currently living together, although we do have a relation...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Although I've mostly posted about my life with my AH, I have a brother who is an A too. His disease came to a head about the same time as my AH's (about 3 yrs ago) but emotionally I could just barely handle my own life. It became obvious very early on that there was nothing I could do but add to my craziness. M...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update on Open for thoughts, comments, suggestions (Preview) I am learning to let go and let God. I did so with the donation situation (see post on open for thoughts, comments and suggestions a few days ago for the whole story). I let it drop with no answer and did not bring it up again to my AH. I also let it go in MY mind, deciding if it came up again, then I could think a...	hort7	4	461	Apr 25, 2009 by hort7
	Everything's great until the suspicion comes in. (Preview) Ever since my husband got out from detox I have been the model Al-Anon spouse. I've been working my program, going to meetings, and reading my literature - I had everything under control (because I knew my husband was working his program and not drinking). Well today I have a sneaking suspicion that h...	N8SMOM	7	708	Apr 25, 2009 by SLS
	My friend passed away today (Preview) Got the phone call that my friend Helen(that I had mentioned from previous post) passed away today. We never want to loose our loved ones, but she was struggling just to breathe. She was exhausted from the effort. She is now in a far better place than we are now. The Priest came yesterday to adminis...	clara	17	1809	Apr 25, 2009 by Aerion
	I AM BACK (Preview) HI EVERYONE I wanted to tell you that i have missed all of you. While i was gone I was dealing with my husband telling me that he was and addict he was doing herion. I was having a hard time and I know that when i should of come in but I was so angry over everything. ALso he was getting treated for HEP C so I was deal...	nycbt	5	513	Apr 25, 2009 by Karilynn
	Clawing my way out of that hole in the road (Preview) The past couple of days have been up and down for me emotionally. I'm finding that while I can usually maintain my composure during a confrontation or at least physically detach myself from it, the emotional effects inevitably set in the next day.Yesterday I was filled with hurt and sadness. I fel...	blender_girl	5	446	Apr 25, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	nutty meeting today... (Preview) OK, so I took some suggestions from people about my earlier post regarding off-traditions, some might call 'swick' meetings...decided to go do some active practicing 'take what you like and leave the rest'. The highlights: arrived on time, mtg started late. 'How important is it' a woman came in, an...	alanonicScotland	6	690	Apr 25, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	The ACOA Laundry List (Preview) Okay, here is the laundry list for ACOA. I read this everyday as part of my program. This keeps it near the front of my brain. If I get the feeling of dejavu or familiarity, I seem to always find it on the list so I can understand what's going on. Reading the list everyday also allows me to see how mu...	alizator	5	9249	Apr 25, 2009 by Melissa21
	So upset/mad/hurt (Preview) Hi Its Lilly, I need to vent..Ive been doing so well, got my sister in law to tell my exAH to leave me alone..I got some silent calls then a nasty one, accusing me of saying things to his ex. Well, I was trying to change my sky account and found emails from him, march 27th (10 days after he went off to his new lif...	Lilly Burn	8	491	Apr 25, 2009 by kitty
	Hi, I'm new... (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new and a little nervous. I'm not sure how to start. I guess my first question is am I supposed to be here only if I've broken off with my ABF? He is going to be 8 years sober this summer, however; he has not been working his program for about a year now and though promised me he'd start ma...	lizzakiss	9	589	Apr 25, 2009 by kitty
	A moral problem that I'm having (Preview) My step-father is an alcoholic and refuses any sort of help whatsoever. He has been to a meeting in the past, but decided that it wasn't for him. I don't deal with him on any sort of regular basis - but my problem is his drinking and driving. He has a tendency to drink in his truck driving around this rural ar...	windyturn	5	595	Apr 25, 2009 by kitty
	learning to detach with love is like learning to walk... (Preview) I can really see how totally different it is to walk around in your life with being able to detach with love and NOT. Its really just like being able to walk or not. Or read or not. Its that massive and foundational. I could never detach and I certainly could not with love but I am finding that yes I can and...	Jean4444	4	2210	Apr 25, 2009 by GypsyRose71
	What I want vs what am I getting (Preview) At the suggestion of my sponsor, I'm putting together lists - what do I want? What am I currently getting? How do I get what I want? This has been very thought-provoking for me and I wanted to share with you what I have discovered so far. What do I want?· To feel valued, cherished, loved, respec...	blender_girl	4	558	Apr 25, 2009 by BBGIRL
	Accepting Gifts (Preview) I'm starting a new thread from what Blender Girl started, so as not to spin her thread off in another direction. blender_girl wrote: · To feel valued, cherished, loved, respected, trusted by a partner/spouse/significant other · To be able to trust a partner/spouse/significant other with my thoug...	barisax	2	552	Apr 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	I am learning.........S-L-O-W-L-Y (Preview) I am obviously a slow learner, but I am learning........slowly. I have learned the HARD way that there are some answers I will never have, and if I did have the EXABF answer them I doubt I would believe him anyway, his version of events tend to change around and mix me up even more. I also am learning...	shellyj123	1	426	Apr 24, 2009 by Rora
	Do you Drink? (Preview) I'm just wondering how many of you drink even though you are dealing with an alcoholic in your life? I'll admit that I enjoy wine. But I'm the type of person who likes to be relaxed to enjoy a glass or two of wine. These past few weeks have been so stressful, that the thought of having a glass has not been ap...	N8SMOM	24	772	Apr 24, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Letting go, letting God and holding on with all I've got... (Preview) I wanted to take some time to Thank all of you who have held me up the past months, and there have been many of you who have shared ESH, and kept me from falling into the abyss of alcoholism. When I thought I was crazy, I was shown that I wasn't alone, that most of us have been there in one way or another. Ev...	shellyj123	8	673	Apr 24, 2009 by Christy
	Birthdays. (Preview) My birthday is coming up on May 9th. As many of you know any kind of holiday for me is really difficult. I was falling back into my "poor me" mentality so I've decided to take ownership and try to work on doing things for myself. I can't count on anyone to "do" for me. In fact I don't...	maresie	3	428	Apr 24, 2009 by blender_girl
	Feeling alone... because I am...and it's okay. (Preview) I had a long awaited MRI today, which was about an hours drive away. aH, from whom I am separated, knew about the appt at one time, but I didn't remind him or let him know about it. I drove there myself today, which gave me a chance to talk out loud to HP. I realized that often times, what I need is to talk &qu...	Rora	6	500	Apr 24, 2009 by maresie
	Just Do It Already!!! (Preview) Get Sober and Stay Sober! If you want it, just do it. I've had enough, how many chances does he think he will get? How many more chances will I give? Not that many more. This is his last chance. He is on a waiting list for a rehab, I am so looking forward to getting myself together. His next chance is 90 d...	Sincerely	4	613	Apr 24, 2009 by Ness
	Well, who woulda thunk? (Preview) Hi Friends, I posted last night about the simple email I was sending my ah regarding the need to have Friday nights be for my recovery and not "date night" with the kids. I appreciated your responses. Just so you know, the reason I did not offer another night is because there isn't one. He i...	Loupiness	2	553	Apr 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	Co-dependent relapse symptoms (Preview) From a book called Choicemaking by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, which is old but I'm getting a lot from it. Symptoms follow (slightly edited because I'm lazy. Typos are all mine, baby!) Fatigue: allowing ourselves to be overly tired and careless about our health. Workaholism: Usually a sign that w...	gngcrzy	6	709	Apr 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	It's supposed to be a Happy Event (Preview) On May 2nd, our 8 year old twin granddaughters will celebrate their first communion. This is a big event in their lives. We (Hubbie and me) are going to Houston for this occasion; as will their other grandparents from Oklahoma. This also happens to be my AD's birthday!!! I have not told her we ar...	clara	5	506	Apr 23, 2009 by clara
	Frustrated by "simplicity" (Preview) My life is much simpler than it used to be (AND more serene) but it isn't by choice. About 18 months ago, I fell apart mentally, emotionally, and physically, (which is how I ended up in Al-anon). I've been getting better bit by bit but even now I am physically and mentally unable to do the workload I u...	gngcrzy	8	688	Apr 23, 2009 by abbyal
	Experienced a losss (Preview) Well, here I am again but this time with a very sad story. I will make it short as possible. I lost my bro in law on Friday. He was very distraught before he died and took off away from home to basically die. We really don't know exactly what he was thinking when he left. He was actually almost a neighbor of ou...	Hoot Nanny	10	568	Apr 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	Can someone please tell me when I lost my mind? (Preview) Well after yesterdays tail spin over EXABF and his possessions. I did the unthinkable, and went on his Myspace page!!! BIG MISTAKE!! Saw that he added yet another new female friend and I went CRAZY! Deleted him from my accto-but that didn't remove any comments etc that I had sent him in the past year...	shellyj123	13	653	Apr 23, 2009 by clara
	Being A-less (Preview) Ya know I sit here and it is hard to imagine the horror I went through with the A husband. I mean now, I can just sit and listen to the frogs and see the stars,so good inside and out. Don't have to have that lump in my gut, or be all tore up. No listening to a filthy mouth, complaining, never laughing, no one is me...	debilyn	9	589	Apr 23, 2009 by tiredtonite
	helping vs. enabling (Preview) I have to be honest and say I'm learning there is a line here. I also just finished Co-Dependent no more which everyone should read whether they have alcohol in their lives or not. The past 4 months have been a whirlwind. Up and down. Horrible and good. I think that's all part of recovery. My recover...	Inpain	7	664	Apr 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Returning his possessions update.......WHY can't EXABF see what he is doing to me and just let me be???? (Preview) I wanted to say thank you to the people that responded to my post regarding the returning of EXABF's property. I always appreciate input. I don't have a 3rd party that I could utilize to do that sort of thing, and honestly don't feel comfortable involving anyone else in this mess if I did. It's not someo...	shellyj123	10	820	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Thanks for the ESH & all the love... (Preview) It was so great to get so many responses--I almost shed a tear. Now the issue is of course being around family that drinks. Most of the family is drowning their sorrows in the bottle. My husband & I decided to spend quality time with all of them but not quantity time. Does that make sense? I am now sort o...	Hoot Nanny	0	452	Apr 23, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	there is serenity in simplicity.... (Preview) My ex AH has been chemically sober and working an intensive recovery program for about 18 months now. He attends at least 11 recovery-related meetings per week. All of them are 30 min. out of town. I, on the other hand aim for Wednesday and Friday nights, and it is pretty rare that I make both. On Fridays (...	Loupiness	6	612	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Rehab Round 2 (Preview) Hi Gang! Well, having knowledge of alcholism and knowing more about the disease than my A, and yet still not enough, I saw it coming. As some of you may know, just 1 month ago my Hubby entered in patient rehab. I was excited to attend a weeked alanon retreat the first weekend his was in rehab. Well, he c...	Sincerely	2	464	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Trying NOT to get my hopes up (Preview) Since saturday my AH has been through the following: Things going awful at work and his boss telling him that its a possibility that the company is gonna close. Getting arrested for fighting with a neighbor, getting beat up by the cops, getting sued by the neighbor... On saturday when he got out of jail...	Priscilla83	8	660	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	feeling lucky (Preview) "I am no longer the person described in the first few pages of the this chapter and I am forever grateful for that. I would never want to go back to that life - a sheltered narrow existence fueled by fear and made liveable by isolation, insulation and self indulgence. It was a life lived in a bubble...	maresie	0	354	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Todays New Face.... (Preview) Just for today, I am LETTING GO... I am letting go of all the crap I have been dealing with, I am letting the next step be that of someone else... I have realized that there are somethings that I can not control... I AM POWERLESS... Examples are: I can not control my "Binge"Husband when he gets t...	Jozie	5	533	Apr 23, 2009 by maresie
	Found meetings (Preview) Hi everyone, wanted to post a quick note, I searched around and found some al-anon meetings in my area that i can actually go to!! woohoo!! Twice a week, teusday and fridays, I cant do mondays, due to working at the time the noon meeting is in progress. I am excited and nervouse at the...	GypsyRose71	3	473	Apr 23, 2009 by Jozie
	More Bumps In My Road... :( (Preview) Honestly... I don't know if I am Mad, Hurt, Pissed, or just clear wore out...I think all thee above really... I haven't been on for a couple days, been to much going on with Deseased Afathers "CRAP"... Just when I thought things were looking up, I have realized I was yet again WRONG... NOW aft...	Jozie	2	628	Apr 23, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Getting Them Sober (the book) (Preview) I just bought the book last week and finally got a chance to start reading it and it is great so far! Just what I need right now. I'd recommend it to anyone living or having lived in this insanity. Holly	Holly09	3	686	Apr 22, 2009 by canadianguy
	How far does Co-Dependency reach? (Preview) I went to my individual counselor today. I told her things have been going well in my marriage despite what we have faced in the past 4 months and it's because I'm desperately trying to understand myself and why I control things and trying to let go of that. I have decided to not even ask my husband about...	Inpain	9	1209	Apr 22, 2009 by maresie
	I did not disintegrate! (Preview) I found a powerful quote last week that has stayed with me ever since: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts in the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hope for prote...	glad lee	8	671	Apr 22, 2009 by maresie
	Getting to We (Preview) When I was in a relationship the crucial moments for me was when he said he loved me and when the noun "we" came up. The sooner the better. The crucial moments weren't did we have anything in common, did he have stabiity, did he have an anger issue, did he have a substance abuse problem, did h...	maresie	5	758	Apr 22, 2009 by maresie
	It's all so confusing (Preview) My son is in juvie & it has really taken it's toll on me. I thought he'd go to juvie, I'd go visit him a few times and that would be that. But it is so complicated. There are set visitation days and hours. I have to provide him w/any medicine he may need. I even had to make an appt to go in and cut his hair...	QOD	6	765	Apr 22, 2009 by QOD
	feeling a whole load of emotions (Preview) Hello people Am feeling very emotional tonight as i've been very honest about my feeling to people very close to me this week. I feel I have let loose stuff from inside of me though it does feel incredibly uncomfortable. I have hurt my moms feeling cause I was honest in saying I did not want to go on holida...	chezza	4	747	Apr 22, 2009 by Mariner
	One day at a time (Preview) I havent been around too much to post like I used to, but I have been getting in some reading here and there. I just wanted to leave a note to let any who were wondering where I was, so that they wouldnt worry too much and know that I was doing well.	J.R.	2	560	Apr 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Safety first. (Preview) ((((Family))), Take a look at Jerry's recent post on ESH. As always it's honest, encouraging and full of knowledge. I came across a daily reading from our: Courage to Change for April 15. It talks about Alanon's position on safety. Here's part of it: "....Alanon's position is that we must e...	Karilynn	2	1028	Apr 21, 2009 by wp
	Open for thoughts, comments, suggestions (Preview) Here's the situation. My A husband had been sober 9 months, attends AA 2-3 times weekly, 2 times with his homegroup. After his meeting the other night, he brought up the fact that a lady in his homegroup is unemployed and has a soft top on her Jeep that is held together by duct tape. It leaks and is miserabl...	hort7	6	949	Apr 21, 2009 by hort7
	In need of some input and ESH.....not strong enough for this yet... I know it. (Preview) Haven't been here for a bit, still trying to find my way back to my program. Haven't let go of it and feel stronger daily but still a far cry from where I need to be. ExABF has told a mutual friend that he will need to be contacting me at some point to get his things (the only things he has left at my house is his g...	shellyj123	4	911	Apr 21, 2009 by Mariner
	Not quite sure where to start. (Preview) I have just started my journey into my healing process. I'm just starting counseling and trying to learn as much as I can. I've learned I am quite co dependent. I've also learned I am an ACOA. My husband just came out of rehab the beginning of the month for alcohol. has gone to one meeting, and has drank a co...	haasity	6	866	Apr 21, 2009 by maresie
	Too Soon to Travel? (Preview) I have this incredible urge to just get the heck out of town. Since we had to cancel our Hawaii trip, I feel like I've been jipped out of a vacation. I am thinking about driving to San Diego (it's a 6-hour drive from here). I think it would be nice to sit on the beach and maybe take our son to Sea World. My hu...	N8SMOM	6	10754	Apr 21, 2009 by Inpain
	Touching that hot stove (Preview) Hi MIP family. I'm having a HALT moment (ok, a lot of them in a row) today and just need to vent. I'm Hurt, Angry, Lonely and Tired. So here's the story: Last night my AH is telling me about his gig that he played Saturday afternoon. They had a good crowd, everybody loves them, etc, etc.... Some of our frie...	blender_girl	9	1059	Apr 21, 2009 by blender_girl
	Patience (Preview) I've manged to get some dental insurance. As you all know getting the card and so being able to begin the treatment takes a while. Of course I want the card yesterday. I've always done this and had no idea how destructive this kind of obsessing is! Maresie.	maresie	2	653	Apr 21, 2009 by Mariner
	Starting (Preview) Hello all. My name is Stephanie and I'm a 26 - year old daughter of a recovering addict. Make that a daughter, niece, granddaughter, sister, etc of several current / recovering addicts. I have found this place after many years of detaching. The purpose I want to achieve is to let go of the hurt and be...	StephanieKay	5	530	Apr 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	My ESH... (Preview) Aloha Family....I was out side doing some carpentry stuff and just focusing and then free wheeling with my brain and then I got locked up on some current events that are growing here in the islands and also up where you all are at. Lots of guns sales. Lots of angry out of control guys out there with guns. ...	Jerry F	7	978	Apr 20, 2009 by Jean4444
	AH home yesterday from rehab...seroquel response or booze???? (Preview) Hi All...AH came home from 30 day rehab yesterday. He is saying all the right things and attended AA last night and tonight. I left him alone for 1.5 hours tonight after he returned from his AA meeting. When I got back he seemed high. He took one 100 mg. seroquel (provided by his rehab doc) and claimed...	HangingOn	9	1056	Apr 20, 2009 by HangingOn
	how many hours first time DUI in Massachusetts? (Preview) tried to sign up for DUI class (first time offense) in Florida. Told since it was a MA license I need to do the MA hours requirement. In FL first DUI is 12 hrs, subsequent is 22? - anyone know the amount in MA? I may need to take the 2nd offense DUI class hours YES I got stuck for my boyfriends DUI! changed seats...	florida	3	3235	Apr 20, 2009 by Sincerely
	Took the kids to visit (Preview) Well, I finally took the kids to visit my ex ah. He was released from prison about 6 weeks ago and is living in an oxford house. He paid $500 on his child support this month and I agreed to bring them down to see him. He took them to the beach and out shopping and the kids had a good day. Even the oldest went (...	carolinagirl	3	587	Apr 20, 2009 by wildthang86
	I have returned (Preview) Well, I just wanted to say helllo to all the al-anon members, i have been one for a few years though havent posted in a long time, much has happened since my last post, My A has been on and off the wagon, he made it 16 months, since then he has struggled to get back to where he was. I have learned a lot in the past...	GypsyRose71	1	552	Apr 20, 2009 by Karilynn
	my immagination ruined my weekend (Preview) I had a nice weekend planned at our beach home in Delaware. The weather was about 75 degrees on Saturday. My older A son went to NC for a fishing tournament. My youngerr A son lives in Japan. I could not settle my mind thinking that things were not right with either one of them. I was awake half the night on Sa...	Gailey	8	831	Apr 20, 2009 by abbyal
	Hi, missed ya'll so much (Preview) debilyn here. Karilynn I am so sad about the theft. You are such a nice person and I know you took it hard. When I think about how my aunt did not give me my gma's rings as gma wanted..rrrr I think how I had a special love with grama. I am like you and hold sentimental value for my jewely from others. My daughter...	debilyn	6	850	Apr 20, 2009 by Rita G
	This is so hard! (Preview) So, I went with my AH to the beach this easter weekend. Had fun. This is the fist vacation since I got pregnant that he didn't get drunk. Our daughter is so attached to him, she cries when he leaves for the supermarket. As I posted before, we are not currently living together, although we do have a relation...	Priscilla83	7	1851	Apr 20, 2009 by maresie
	is it worth it? (Preview) Although I've mostly posted about my life with my AH, I have a brother who is an A too. His disease came to a head about the same time as my AH's (about 3 yrs ago) but emotionally I could just barely handle my own life. It became obvious very early on that there was nothing I could do but add to my craziness. M...	Loupiness	8	1030	Apr 20, 2009 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.