Well, I finally took the kids to visit my ex ah.  He was released from prison about 6 weeks ago and is living in an oxford house.  He paid $500 on his child support this month and I agreed to bring them down to see him.  He took them to the beach and out shopping and the kids had a good day.  Even the oldest went (because she wanted a new swim suit) and she always swore she would never have anything to do with him again. 

Recently (within the last week) she has expressed feeling like the divorce was her fault (I left him because he said I had to choose between her - she was 11 at the time - and him and she heard the whole thing).  I talked with her last week about how it was definitely not her fault and had no idea she felt that way but I guess it's not surprising considering the circumstances.  She had a lot of fears about seeing him but they got along well yesterday and I'm hoping that she is in a place now where she can begin to forgive him.  He also reiterated that it was not her fault.  I have to wonder if this is a lot of the driving force behind her acting out lately and her anger that seems to have no source.  I hope that resolving this will help her, she has been much better since we have been working with the family counselor. 

The only issues that arose were that he asked frequently about my new boyfriend and our son called him by my boyfriend's name the entire day which really bothered him.  I know that's because my boyfriend has been the only man around him for the past few months so it's just habit and the more time he spends with his dad the better that will get.  I hope he has the patience and understanding to grasp that.

I was questionable about sending them with him but it did work out well and I would like them to have another caring adult in their lives.  Hopefully he will stay on this positive track but I think it will take a long time of convincing for the older two kids.  It put me out a little to have to drive them to him and pick them up it's about 45 minutes away but he did give me gas money when I picked them up and I had a day to myself with all the kids gone which rarely happens so I guess the trade off was worth it.  The kids came home with new things that they wanted and I NEVER buy new things for them, everything comes from the thrift store so that was a real treat and I appreciated that he paid the money and then bought them new things in addition rather than saying buy it out of the money I paid...

On another note, I have been having ongoing issues with my property management company, I live in a condo complex that is full of retirees who are completely intolerant of children and the things that they do and we are at a point now where they have threatened eviction even though I pay my rent on time every month and have done so for almost two years.  Now I have the added stress of finding a new home and moving my monumental amount of STUFF and that is consuming me.  The support payments are really going to be my saving grace here because I am going to have to come up with a deposit.  Everyone please say a little prayer for me that I find the perfect place for me and my children to live and quick!