The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Before I found the ES&H here at MIP, and my f2f meetings, I would not have been able to do what I'm doing now to give support to my son.
I feel I have progressed (slowly), step by step, since January when the days seemed so dark I didn't want to get out of bed ever again.
In detaching from my A son's disease I am able to support him, at home, on his recovery programme. As he works his I am working mine.
He was drinking himself to death and in return slowly killing us with the worry.
For me.....gone is the searching for bottles, the phone call checks if he is out all day, the suggestions as to how he could fill his day etc etc....I was definately sick
For him....he's been 'dry' 14 days.
Taking it a day at a time...if he drinks it's his choice and I too have choices and a growing 'tool box' to help me in making them.
So thank you all my MIP family for sharing your ES&H
The love you have for your son is very apparent. So hard to know what boundaries to set when it is your own child who you want/need to nurture.
We have to love them enough to let them fall. Hard stuff. I would not focus on his disease but focus on him. Maybe think about how you can encourage him to get into what he loves.
THEN do something you want to do. It is hard,but the Fake it, until you make it does work.
We can still plant flowers, go thriftshopping, go to movies, run the dog etc. Seems all the hard stuff sofocates us. Sophocate? sigh
We can all "do" the taking small steps into our own recovery.
Love & gratitude .....Ness 