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Job recinded
(Preview)
Everythign I am about to tell you I am ok with. I have made peace with, and the program delivered me through it yesterday. I have no other explanation how I could have survived it. I get a call yesterday from the boss in Topeka, KS. They recinded the job. Apparently, there was a cosmic screw up on their en...
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Tiger2006
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11
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1238
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Finally Realized My Denial and Stood Up For Myself
(Preview)
This may be a bit long, so be forewarned! This past Monday, I realized that I have been in denial about the emotional and verbal abuse that I have been putting up with over the years (even though you lovely people have pointed it out to me on more than one occasion ). I realized that I have been excusing i...
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blender_girl
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10
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914
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I made a friend!
(Preview)
I've been in my F2f wednesdays group for almost 3 months. One woman and I have been talking after meetings. Tonight we talked again a bit and we both have a lot in common. We exchanged contact info and I really thought I would contact her first but she reached right out to me. I'd love to go do lunch or som...
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Inpain
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14
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879
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Memorial Day Weekend Ruined Before It Even Began!!
(Preview)
I got a call from my son's probation officer this morning (Friday). He has been in juvie for a week b/c he tested positive for pot. His new lab tests came back this morning. They weren't due back until Tuesday. So now I have to go pick him up this afternoon @ 5:00. He will be on House Arrest all weekend un...
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QOD
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20
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782
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Hope?
(Preview)
I've been feeling pretty down the last few days. I found out last night that I missed out on an opportunity to get a different job....cut off date for applications was 2 weeks ago. I would have been a shoe in for the job. Last night at work it was all I could do to not break down....seems like things just wann...
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stillkickin
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10
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878
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You have GOT to be freakin kidding me.........and so it continues!!
(Preview)
Just got home from work, and found that EXABF WAS here while I was at work. Came by in his big shiny new red truck and picked up all HIS stuff. The kicker to it all is he brought back NOTHING of mine that I asked him for, NOTHING! Two items totalling over $200.00 and a marble "plate" that I had fr...
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shellyj123
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7
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798
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Kindness is the highest form of wisdom...
(Preview)
...that is just one of the signatures that I have had on my profile, and I changed it perhaps a year ago, Well, I am not sure that I should have for it is constantly on my mind on an hour by hour basis, so I am putting it back on again. Anyway, I keep on thinking on this and every time I DO think on it, it works fo...
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Suzannah
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7
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4726
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2009 Arizona Al-Anon Convention June 5-7 (with AA and Alateen participation)
(Preview)
I didn't want to highjack Maria123's thread, so I thought I would finally start one of my own. The Arizona Al-Anon Convention is June 5-7, 2009, in Tucson. Our theme is "Deep in the Heart of Al-Anon." Here is a link to the registration information: http://www.al-anon-az.org/events....
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SLS
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3
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1184
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Im thinking about moving back
(Preview)
I have been thinking a lot yesterday and today about moving back with my A. My motive to go back would be for financial support. He wont give me any money while I am not there and with the horrible economy I need some help. I thought once I packed everything and left the county would help, but they wont even g...
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Melissa21
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10
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796
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Happy Memorial Day
(Preview)
((((Family)))), Let me wish you all a Happy Memorial Day weekend. While this is the unofficial start of the summer season, let us pause and remember what this day truly is all about. Let us remember those who gave thier lives for this country and all around the world. My father was a vet, my grandfa...
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Karilynn
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1
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457
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Frustrated
(Preview)
I am sure this post will be a bit of a vent - so anyone who reads and responds in advance - THANK YOU. I am just so frustrated. I had posted about a week ago, my agitation and my need to let go of my A's decision to take care of his medication refills. My A, who is in recovery (to my knowledge) does not have health i...
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RunnerChick
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7
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637
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Help with ignoring the beer
(Preview)
When my husband got out of detox, I had some "normal expectations" of him. They were quite simple: 1. No beer or booze in the house, and 2. Since he's not working, he has to wake up at a normal time and be a functioning member of this family. I never made any threats (Like if you drink I'm leaving...
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N8SMOM
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16
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581
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Being Gentle With Myself
(Preview)
I am truly grateful for this board. I've been in knots all morning and am glad I have a place to post, since I am at work and unable to make it to a meeting this morning. I am trying to be gentle with myself during this time of uncertainty and learning to detach. I'm not doing it perfectly and most of the time it...
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RunnerChick
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4
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782
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ADaughter is getting an apartment; worried!!!!!!
(Preview)
ADaughter is getting an apartment. She and hubby have reached an agreement that he will pay for the apartment for 1 year. Sound too good to be true??? Well, it is. What he is doing is giving her $1,000 a month to live on. This has to cover the apartment rent, utilities, groceries and food and gas mone...
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clara
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7
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412
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being shocked by A behavior
(Preview)
I was thinking about this post from yesterday all day today. That is how we just do not think like an A does. I mean I would never have thought that when AH was here for awhile one time, that when I left to town, he would be right behind me going to get bottle, and be home before me. I never saw him drink rememb...
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debilyn
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2
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824
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Trying hard to keep the focus on myself today.
(Preview)
Haven't heard from my ex-bfA (we were seeing each other again) for 5 days since I explained he could not come over because my kids (13/15) were home. I felt if I was going to see him...it should involve my kids. He threw a fit and went back to the enabling woman he's been seeing since we split 2 years ago...
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newday
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5
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583
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Dealing With Fear/And then What?
(Preview)
Dear Ones, A few years ago, I realized that I habitually reacted to situations from very trivial/minor to major at the same level. For instance, whether my partner was a few minutes late to pick me up, changed a date in advance, stood me up, or broke up with me, I had the same level of intensity of reaction...
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BlueCloud
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3
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601
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Expectations?
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I love these boards and the online meetings, they have really been a huge lifesaver for me. Its so amazing to know I can come here anytime and you are all here, you all understand. I just want some opinions. I have an ah and I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to drink, I cant contro...
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M's Mommy
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11
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1424
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Detachment attempted...once again.
(Preview)
My ex-Abf (together 7years) has been trying to rekindle our relationship after I threw him out 2 years ago. Since then he's been seeing a woman who enables/participates in his addictions. Over the past few weeks I have fallen weak to his pleas. Believing he was staying away from "her"...
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newday
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9
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607
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Trying to think postive about the negatives
(Preview)
So my cell phone was shut off today :( But to turn it positive I just keep thinking well that's the best excuse I can give him to not have to talk to him! Because I was gong to take a couple weeks and ignore all his calls! He will call and it's shut off so he can't get mad at me for not answering and I wont have to lis...
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Melissa21
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6
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487
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Savior Behavior
(Preview)
We had a greet meeting this morning in which "savior behavior" was brought up. I know I do it a lot when I try to take care of someone else's stuff , that is theirs to take care of, enabling if you will. But I've also had it done to me. This is what I what to talk about and in a sense warn others of. Afte...
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java
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5
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1840
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Feeling sad
(Preview)
In the past few weeks, I have felt quite sad without expressing it really, this board has helped an awful lot and I have felt the benefit of all the posts here. Without it I feel I would have gone into a full scale depression, it has helped me put things in perspective. There are many things at the moment tha...
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maire rua
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9
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594
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APOLOGIES----shame based?? or healthy??
(Preview)
######Rosie's note.......Oh I remember when I read this how I apologized for EVERYTHING!!! I was soo shamed based, if a person cut in front of me at the super market, I would apoligize.....I was always saying "I'm sorry".....Its like my upbringing, my parents always made me feel with the...
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rosielightshines
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2
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941
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The Language of Letting Go!!! :)
(Preview)
Today I was reading in my LoLG Daily reader... and remembered that after all the excitement yesterday.. That was one reader I never got to read... So I back stepped to yesterday, and knew I had to miss something good :) The Prayer for Yesterday was: God...Help Me Fully Embrace & finish My Endings, S...
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Jozie
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2
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428
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Just for today~progress not perfection
(Preview)
Woke up this am, after a good nights sleep (for a change) and first thing I did was RE READ everyone's comments to my posts yesterday. Let me thank each and everyone of you for being there and the Hug the whole way from Costa Rica was just what I needed:) Decided that TODAY I am going to keep asking myself &...
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shellyj123
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4
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1369
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Job Interview Part 2--Update
(Preview)
Thanks everyone for all of the support!! The interveiw went wonderfully! It is not required to relocate for this position, but it will require alot of disaplin. It is 40 miles away from my home and I would have 10 stores and have to visit each of them twice a month. LOTS OF TRAVELING but all stores are with...
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Sincerely
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6
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502
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Anyone an artist?
(Preview)
Here's a recovery program for artists..... http://www.artsanonymous.org/index.html
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kissers
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3
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373
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Miracles Amaze Me Today :)
(Preview)
My D Day, 11 Days Early... Today was just awesome... I got up this morning, with a little Nervousness running thru me not knowing how the day would be... But Charged on, Stopped at the Local Gas Station for a Cup of Joe, and just when I was getting ready to walk out, There was My BEST Friend from High School...
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Jozie
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4
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474
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Just for today~Very confused between a rock and a hard place.
(Preview)
I've decided that just for today I am not going to respond to EXABF's email. I just have nothing left at this point and am not feeling really well right now. I've read, posted, read and contacted my sponsor. I am spent today. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place........What I want was to have NC...
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shellyj123
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6
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371
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Unbelievable~~~ Will it just ever be done????
(Preview)
I emailed EXABF last night and told him he could come by Thursday while I was at work and get his stuff and that I would NOT be there. Also told him that I was feeling very sad and depleted over the entire situation. He emails me back last night and says Cant say for sure yet about Thursday. Im supposed to...
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shellyj123
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12
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594
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you're making me sick
(Preview)
I have been thinking about how vicitmizing English can be at times or maybe it's our society, idk. You know how we say, "youre giving me a headache" or "this is a pain in my neck" or "look how you made me feel!" It is funny how we throw our energy away & leave ourselv...
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kitty
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5
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436
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I wish I would stop telling people
(Preview)
This is just a little thing, but I do wish I didnt feel the need to tell people my husband has left me! This is so negative, I did it tonight when this guy in a lovely country pub pointed out that we seemed to be on a strict budget...ive done it quite a few times, why dont I just say nothing, or that ive separated...
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Lilly Burn
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8
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388
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It's not fair
(Preview)
I've been doing pretty good since I left my A, but as days go by it gets harder and harder. I have no money, I don't have my own house, I have 2 kids to care for somehow on my own. All my stuff is in storage collecting dust. I have 5 weeks of one college class to finish online with no internet. And he calls to see th...
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Melissa21
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9
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473
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Merry go round, round, round...
(Preview)
It seems like it never ends!!! Through this program and checking in with people and reading some of the lit, I find that I can watch it go round instead of hopping on and going with it. Just this morning I was able to find my AH using and somewhere deep inside, I found a different response. And guess what, He...
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angelchar375
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5
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423
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My adventure
(Preview)
This is something I have wanted to do for several years now but would not allow myself the expense. The day after my son got his dui I decided that I was going to give that gift to myself. After all, I would go to the earth's end in the past to help my children out financially. Why wouldn't I do the same for myse...
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Gailey
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11
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495
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Freaked Out
(Preview)
Hello everyone!! My husband was in rehab and I was soooo happy he decided to stay a second month. But he just called, he's out and he's gonna stay in treatment, in ambulatory. I'm just freaked out, scared, terrified honestly. And, also, as a control freak I am, this out of control type of encounter just c...
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Priscilla83
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5
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433
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Boss bully----I could really use some support!!!!!
(Preview)
I work for the 2 nice sons and their father who is a nasty old fart....He does not like me and today it came out in a veangance I am drinking my shake (if worker is there more than 4 hours they get 15 min break...FED. law)....He comes up to me and wants to know why I am "not busy"...I said I was busy, d...
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rosielightshines
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13
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1290
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I've Done It :) ME!!!!
(Preview)
Well today was a rough one, I went to work did what I had to do there, knocked off a little early, headed to the basement to sift through some of my Afather things, and pick out "some" things for the goodwill, I have a Long way to go, but I have made the extra mile and I did it with me & HP... My mom...
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Jozie
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6
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521
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In the Darkest of Times God Carries Us
(Preview)
(((((((Friends)))))))))))), I just came from a funeral of a wonderful 20 yr young man whom I watched grow up. I watched as his parents and families hearts were breaking, I watched these macho young men my son included cry like babies as they saw there friend for the last time. Brad was killed while ri...
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Andrea12
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6
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412
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New Here and Need Advise and Help
(Preview)
Hello, This is my first post. I need some help from everyone. My Story- I was married to my husband for 11 years. We have 2 children (now ages 6 and 7). In the summer of 2005 my husband had an affair with a woman and got her pregnant. This I never though he would do. We divorced in Dec 2005. Since then i...
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Barbarajo05
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12
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552
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I must be ugly?
(Preview)
Geez, dang why did my AH have to have a stupid brain tumor and have a medical relapse then be too retarded to get back on program????? This is so awful sometimes. I used to tell the people who said why do you stay, hey what if your husband all of a sudden was not him anymore? What if it was from a brain cancer? Wo...
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debilyn
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9
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593
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WHAT is WRONG with me???? Something has to be......
(Preview)
EXABF emailed Sat to basically tell me he is coming to get his stuff and I can let him know if I want to be there or not when he does. Didn't really ask-what's new? He hasn't asked how I've felt in MONTHS. He also informed me that he will be "redoing" his Myspace page and for me to please not be of...
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shellyj123
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11
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538
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Realization
(Preview)
So I got into an argument with my bf the other night, not really an argument but I was mad at him. He dumped me for the third weekend in a row for his family and I was mad mad mad and I think justifiably so. I am still a secret and that is the heart of the problem. What I realized the other night as we were talkin...
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carolinagirl
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6
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519
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Detachment Question
(Preview)
I'm reading this Al-Anon pamphlet on Detachment. One of the last things it says is: -Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events. The thing that is so hard for me to understand is, how can I not try to stop something that will ultimately affect my son and me? For instance, my husband dr...
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N8SMOM
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7
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488
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Made it thru Day 1... One Moment at A Time...
(Preview)
Well once I had it in my head, what i was going to do next, I put it in motion and got to it. I first went up by myself and got things going into boxes, and bags, and totes, to which I really didn't "Go" thru any of it, for now it is in my basement, and I have hopes today of getting thru some of it. because...
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Jozie
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4
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415
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Need Guidance..Husband is an alcoholic
(Preview)
I have been married for 18 years and we have a 10 year old child. I am almost 40 My husband is an alcoholic, and he says he wants to get help but he never does anything about it. He was in rehab in 2000 and only stayed for 4 days (thats all insurance would cover). He does not go to AA because he said that all people...
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xrayr
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8
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416
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Update & Doing Good
(Preview)
((((((Family)))), Good morning to you all. I just wanted to give you an update on the robbery. The neighbor was charged and arraigned with a class E felony for possession of stolen goods. ( I will not get them back as they have all been melted down.) The judge gave me a temporary order of protectio...
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Karilynn
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6
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449
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I think I am in the right place?
(Preview)
Hi, I am new here, gotta start somewhere. My husband is an Alcoholic. ( I think) He is a functional one I guess is what you call it. He is able to maintain and drink. By that I mean he is not messy, and in fact cleans the house, keeps the shop clean, mowes the lawn, does his own laundry I never have to take ou...
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Josie46
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8
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472
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I'm doing alright
(Preview)
I left him almost a week ago. Doing much better than I thought I would. I did bring the baby to see him last night. He called and asked if we would spend the night there. It was hard, but I can't let the baby go with him without me because he always passes out. I almost didn't even let him see our son, but I know it...
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Melissa21
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6
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583
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Hello - New Here
(Preview)
Hello Everyone! I'm new to this forum and haven't attended an Al-Anon meeting as yet. I plan to. I've been reading various threads and hope for some guidance. Can a person abuse alcohol and not be an alcoholic? Not making excuses for my hubby......had a threapist tell me some abuse alcohol and others...
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meme1114
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5
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449
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Friends
(Preview)
My dry AH and I are struggling in this 24 hours. I realize we have NO friends that don't drink. We are both struggling with this. We know there are many activities open to us, but there are no real dry events. I'm here because of him AND me. The only people I know who are dry, are in al-anon. I'm greatfu...
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Inpain
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10
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771
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Jobs and managing stress
(Preview)
The more I try to work on staying in the present, the more I begin to value how my time IS spent in the present. When I read others post about 'Enjoying today' it triggered a reaction in me that wondered - "I can't enjoy today since my job is so incredibly unenjoyable." So then I wonder - am I not ch...
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RunnerChick
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8
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388
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Walking--helps mental, spriritual & physical
(Preview)
I enjoy walking because I know that when I do, I get so much out of it! It affects me mentally, spiritually & physically. I get closer to nature, my mind is clearer & I feel so much better physically although I get very tired sometimes, I think that kind of tired is good for you. Lately the weathe...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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548
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UPDATE on AH medical condition
(Preview)
I haven't had a chance to be on the computer much in the last couple weeks. My husbands symptoms are progressively worse. On 5/5 he was admitted to a skilled nursing facility because of confusion and problems walking. Within 3 days he went from normal kidney function tests to hepatorenal syndrome....
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andica
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8
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487
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Stress of drinking.... stress of recovery AAAArrrrgggghhhh
(Preview)
I'm back on step one...again! I was stressed when my son was drinking and I'm still stressed now he is in recovery. My serenity is hard won! My son is at home with us and I think this is week 8 of his recovery but, as I'm trying to live one day at a time, I've lost count. He's doing ok, probably better than m...
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Ness
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5
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740
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The world has surely tilted on its axis
(Preview)
Not only did Jennifer come through for me, another family member who has a history of drugs, alchol, etc. came through for me, in a big way. Jen came out to watch Bonnie. Jenn loves Bonnie Lou dearly and I knew she would be in good hands . And I honestly think Jenn was proud of herself for stepping up to...
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clara
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10
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523
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feeling lost - how do i find myself once again?
(Preview)
end of dec drove to fl from ma - getting divorced after 28yrs, 17 yr son still in ma lost my license in fl - (someone elses DUI, I switched seats) met someone new end of feb somehow i cant get myself back into my routine - feel lost, need to get my life here but dont know how to start - any thoughts?
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florida
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6
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513
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Today! I Ask for Strength to See Me Thru...
(Preview)
Well the final week of D-Day has come... I can no longer put off, or delay the fact any longer, I have to charge forward, and do the dreaded things that I have been regretting for some time. I have to remove all the contence of my Deseased Afathers belonging! I have so many mixed emotions about the whole de...
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Jozie
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5
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474
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Making choices
(Preview)
I used to torture myself over choices. I would find myself totally fixated on what I could not do and not be able to do what I needed to do. Al anon has really helped me with that. Making a plan be was a start. I didn't like any of it but I saw the choice I had clearly ahead. Rignt now I can't say I really like my...
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maresie
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4
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472
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Trust and boundaries
(Preview)
5 months out. I'm 5 months out from when I found my husband cheated and when it all came to a head he quit drinking. We've tremendous strides in our marriage. I've felt closer than I ever had in 10 years. The trust is gone, reasonably so, and we're working toward re-building it. He is a dry drunk. Goes...
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Inpain
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10
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522
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