Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maire rua · maire rua

I just been reading your posts and finding them so insightful. Thank you all. My post today concerns my A-Mother, deceased, she died of cancer. She had always maintained that she never knew her mother as a result of her illegitimacy. It was true in one way but not in all and in fact did know her and visited...

jrules611 · jrules611

So I am new to this forum, but I need some advice or at least some help with coping. I have been with my ABF for about a year. When I started dating him, he had been in recovery for over a year. He was kind, hilariously funny, and one of the smartest people i'd ever met. about 2 months ago, he relapsed. I did...

newday · newday

I've been trying really hard to stay detached from my ex-abf. I've posted some of the things that have happened in the past few weeks. He is with someone else now because I will not enable him to have a terrific life with me and still use. I received a text from him Friday..."I love u" was all it...

QOD · QOD

First I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all that responded to my Ruined Memorial Day Weekend post. All great ESH!! Much appreciated. So here is how my weekend panned out. The probation officer told my son that he had a choice to make. He could get out of Juvie on Friday BUT he had to go w/me to the beach on...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Alright, I am a broken record. Over and over SOS. Sometimes I feel like there's just not alot I can do. I am just a big goofy kid. I have done alot, I have become much more independant. Now I will have to be fully independant. Ugh I'm just back where I started saying to myself "what am I supposed to do?&q...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've done very little this weekend, and learned a lot in doing so. Maybe it was some quite time that I needed. I learned that a "sober and in recovery" person does not necessarily equal a healthy person all the time, that rain drops from the back of a motorcycle feel similiar to what I think a...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((Friends)))))), Here's hoping you all have an enjoyable weekend....let's try and remember kindly and fondly the one's we lost to this terrible disease... I will remember with love my husband, I try and let all the garbage where it belongs. I have noticed even my son has left the garbage behind...

debilyn · debilyn

An old member from the past is my dear friend. Please give a thought or two to his son. the kid got bit by a copperhead snake today. He feels awful. love and thanks,debilyn

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I posted something a while back about drinking when you're with an alcoholic and I got a lot of responses, so I'm hoping that this brings a lot of responses too. OK, here's a little recap for those who don't know. . . . . When my husband got out of detox in April, I told him that there should be no more drinkin...

luvinmom · luvinmom

After I slipped in my recovery (worrying, crying, calling my son) I felt terrible. But then I remember the great thing about Alanon. Its ok to make a mistake. I can start over today. It is a lovely bright sunny day. I could sit in the house and worry more...or I can sit and beat myself up. I chose to go o...

Robinks · Robinks

He starts June 1st. I am soooo happy

clara · clara

Good news for me anyway. My husband and I will have a night on the town next Saturday, A real date. And this is a "dream date". Every since this man has burst on the music scene, I have wanted to see him!!!!! STRAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Sincerely · Sincerely

My family is growning! In July of last year I became a member of this wonderful family at MIP. Then today I realized that I am a part of another wonderful family. My family at my church. My A Hubby and I have been going to this church for about 5 years now. It's through our trials that our faith is sharpe...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I can be such a dork sometimes. Ive been insisting that my procedure wasnt surgery as it didnt involve any incisions, staples, sutures, etc. therefore it wasn't that big of a deal. Others continued to call it surgery, so I being the geek that I am, I looked up the term "surgery" in Wiki lo a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I'm grouchy. PMS'ing. Aware of it. Trying my best to say what I have to say nicely. Asking HP for patience. A Hubby seems sober and sweet. Hate hormones!!!! Hugs, Sincerely, Tonya

luvinmom · luvinmom

Have been to extra meetings this week to try to let go of my fear and anxiety. Not doing so well. My AS has been in recovery for almost 6 months. Has been living in 3/4 house and working fulltime. Memorial Day weekends have not been a good experieince for the past 4 years, usually something "bi...

maresie · maresie

I am losing weight and on an exercise regimen. I find myself thinking how much I want to "show" other people how attractive I can be and craving attention. I had no idea I did so many things for other people's reactions. I am enjoying losing weight because it gives me a sense of power. I feel...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Everythign I am about to tell you I am ok with. I have made peace with, and the program delivered me through it yesterday. I have no other explanation how I could have survived it. I get a call yesterday from the boss in Topeka, KS. They recinded the job. Apparently, there was a cosmic screw up on their en...

blender_girl · blender_girl

This may be a bit long, so be forewarned! This past Monday, I realized that I have been in denial about the emotional and verbal abuse that I have been putting up with over the years (even though you lovely people have pointed it out to me on more than one occasion ). I realized that I have been excusing i...

Inpain · Inpain

I've been in my F2f wednesdays group for almost 3 months. One woman and I have been talking after meetings. Tonight we talked again a bit and we both have a lot in common. We exchanged contact info and I really thought I would contact her first but she reached right out to me. I'd love to go do lunch or som...

QOD · QOD

I got a call from my son's probation officer this morning (Friday). He has been in juvie for a week b/c he tested positive for pot. His new lab tests came back this morning. They weren't due back until Tuesday. So now I have to go pick him up this afternoon @ 5:00. He will be on House Arrest all weekend un...

stillkickin · stillkickin

I've been feeling pretty down the last few days. I found out last night that I missed out on an opportunity to get a different job....cut off date for applications was 2 weeks ago. I would have been a shoe in for the job. Last night at work it was all I could do to not break down....seems like things just wann...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got home from work, and found that EXABF WAS here while I was at work. Came by in his big shiny new red truck and picked up all HIS stuff. The kicker to it all is he brought back NOTHING of mine that I asked him for, NOTHING! Two items totalling over $200.00 and a marble "plate" that I had fr...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...that is just one of the signatures that I have had on my profile, and I changed it perhaps a year ago, Well, I am not sure that I should have for it is constantly on my mind on an hour by hour basis, so I am putting it back on again. Anyway, I keep on thinking on this and every time I DO think on it, it works fo...

SLS · SLS

I didn't want to highjack Maria123's thread, so I thought I would finally start one of my own. The Arizona Al-Anon Convention is June 5-7, 2009, in Tucson. Our theme is "Deep in the Heart of Al-Anon." Here is a link to the registration information: http://www.al-anon-az.org/events....

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I have been thinking a lot yesterday and today about moving back with my A. My motive to go back would be for financial support. He wont give me any money while I am not there and with the horrible economy I need some help. I thought once I packed everything and left the county would help, but they wont even g...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Let me wish you all a Happy Memorial Day weekend. While this is the unofficial start of the summer season, let us pause and remember what this day truly is all about. Let us remember those who gave thier lives for this country and all around the world. My father was a vet, my grandfa...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am sure this post will be a bit of a vent - so anyone who reads and responds in advance - THANK YOU. I am just so frustrated. I had posted about a week ago, my agitation and my need to let go of my A's decision to take care of his medication refills. My A, who is in recovery (to my knowledge) does not have health i...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

When my husband got out of detox, I had some "normal expectations" of him. They were quite simple: 1. No beer or booze in the house, and 2. Since he's not working, he has to wake up at a normal time and be a functioning member of this family. I never made any threats (Like if you drink I'm leaving...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am truly grateful for this board. I've been in knots all morning and am glad I have a place to post, since I am at work and unable to make it to a meeting this morning. I am trying to be gentle with myself during this time of uncertainty and learning to detach. I'm not doing it perfectly and most of the time it...

clara · clara

ADaughter is getting an apartment. She and hubby have reached an agreement that he will pay for the apartment for 1 year. Sound too good to be true??? Well, it is. What he is doing is giving her $1,000 a month to live on. This has to cover the apartment rent, utilities, groceries and food and gas mone...

debilyn · debilyn

I was thinking about this post from yesterday all day today. That is how we just do not think like an A does. I mean I would never have thought that when AH was here for awhile one time, that when I left to town, he would be right behind me going to get bottle, and be home before me. I never saw him drink rememb...

newday · newday

Haven't heard from my ex-bfA (we were seeing each other again) for 5 days since I explained he could not come over because my kids (13/15) were home. I felt if I was going to see him...it should involve my kids. He threw a fit and went back to the enabling woman he's been seeing since we split 2 years ago...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Ones, A few years ago, I realized that I habitually reacted to situations from very trivial/minor to major at the same level. For instance, whether my partner was a few minutes late to pick me up, changed a date in advance, stood me up, or broke up with me, I had the same level of intensity of reaction...

M's Mommy · M's Mommy

Hi everyone. I love these boards and the online meetings, they have really been a huge lifesaver for me. Its so amazing to know I can come here anytime and you are all here, you all understand. I just want some opinions. I have an ah and I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to drink, I cant contro...

newday · newday

My ex-Abf (together 7years) has been trying to rekindle our relationship after I threw him out 2 years ago. Since then he's been seeing a woman who enables/participates in his addictions. Over the past few weeks I have fallen weak to his pleas. Believing he was staying away from "her"...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

So my cell phone was shut off today :( But to turn it positive I just keep thinking well that's the best excuse I can give him to not have to talk to him! Because I was gong to take a couple weeks and ignore all his calls! He will call and it's shut off so he can't get mad at me for not answering and I wont have to lis...

java · java

We had a greet meeting this morning in which "savior behavior" was brought up. I know I do it a lot when I try to take care of someone else's stuff , that is theirs to take care of, enabling if you will. But I've also had it done to me. This is what I what to talk about and in a sense warn others of. Afte...

maire rua · maire rua

In the past few weeks, I have felt quite sad without expressing it really, this board has helped an awful lot and I have felt the benefit of all the posts here. Without it I feel I would have gone into a full scale depression, it has helped me put things in perspective. There are many things at the moment tha...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

######Rosie's note.......Oh I remember when I read this how I apologized for EVERYTHING!!! I was soo shamed based, if a person cut in front of me at the super market, I would apoligize.....I was always saying "I'm sorry".....Its like my upbringing, my parents always made me feel with the...

Jozie · Jozie

Today I was reading in my LoLG Daily reader... and remembered that after all the excitement yesterday.. That was one reader I never got to read... So I back stepped to yesterday, and knew I had to miss something good :) The Prayer for Yesterday was: God...Help Me Fully Embrace & finish My Endings, S...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am, after a good nights sleep (for a change) and first thing I did was RE READ everyone's comments to my posts yesterday. Let me thank each and everyone of you for being there and the Hug the whole way from Costa Rica was just what I needed:) Decided that TODAY I am going to keep asking myself &...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Thanks everyone for all of the support!! The interveiw went wonderfully! It is not required to relocate for this position, but it will require alot of disaplin. It is 40 miles away from my home and I would have 10 stores and have to visit each of them twice a month. LOTS OF TRAVELING but all stores are with...

kissers · kissers

Here's a recovery program for artists..... http://www.artsanonymous.org/index.html

Jozie · Jozie

My D Day, 11 Days Early... Today was just awesome... I got up this morning, with a little Nervousness running thru me not knowing how the day would be... But Charged on, Stopped at the Local Gas Station for a Cup of Joe, and just when I was getting ready to walk out, There was My BEST Friend from High School...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've decided that just for today I am not going to respond to EXABF's email. I just have nothing left at this point and am not feeling really well right now. I've read, posted, read and contacted my sponsor. I am spent today. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place........What I want was to have NC...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I emailed EXABF last night and told him he could come by Thursday while I was at work and get his stuff and that I would NOT be there. Also told him that I was feeling very sad and depleted over the entire situation. He emails me back last night and says Cant say for sure yet about Thursday. Im supposed to...

kitty · kitty

I have been thinking about how vicitmizing English can be at times or maybe it's our society, idk. You know how we say, "youre giving me a headache" or "this is a pain in my neck" or "look how you made me feel!" It is funny how we throw our energy away & leave ourselv...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

This is just a little thing, but I do wish I didnt feel the need to tell people my husband has left me! This is so negative, I did it tonight when this guy in a lovely country pub pointed out that we seemed to be on a strict budget...ive done it quite a few times, why dont I just say nothing, or that ive separated...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I've been doing pretty good since I left my A, but as days go by it gets harder and harder. I have no money, I don't have my own house, I have 2 kids to care for somehow on my own. All my stuff is in storage collecting dust. I have 5 weeks of one college class to finish online with no internet. And he calls to see th...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

It seems like it never ends!!! Through this program and checking in with people and reading some of the lit, I find that I can watch it go round instead of hopping on and going with it. Just this morning I was able to find my AH using and somewhere deep inside, I found a different response. And guess what, He...

Gailey · Gailey

This is something I have wanted to do for several years now but would not allow myself the expense. The day after my son got his dui I decided that I was going to give that gift to myself. After all, I would go to the earth's end in the past to help my children out financially. Why wouldn't I do the same for myse...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Hello everyone!! My husband was in rehab and I was soooo happy he decided to stay a second month. But he just called, he's out and he's gonna stay in treatment, in ambulatory. I'm just freaked out, scared, terrified honestly. And, also, as a control freak I am, this out of control type of encounter just c...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

I work for the 2 nice sons and their father who is a nasty old fart....He does not like me and today it came out in a veangance I am drinking my shake (if worker is there more than 4 hours they get 15 min break...FED. law)....He comes up to me and wants to know why I am "not busy"...I said I was busy, d...

Jozie · Jozie

Well today was a rough one, I went to work did what I had to do there, knocked off a little early, headed to the basement to sift through some of my Afather things, and pick out "some" things for the goodwill, I have a Long way to go, but I have made the extra mile and I did it with me & HP... My mom...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends)))))))))))), I just came from a funeral of a wonderful 20 yr young man whom I watched grow up. I watched as his parents and families hearts were breaking, I watched these macho young men my son included cry like babies as they saw there friend for the last time. Brad was killed while ri...

Barbarajo05 · Barbarajo05

Hello, This is my first post. I need some help from everyone. My Story- I was married to my husband for 11 years. We have 2 children (now ages 6 and 7). In the summer of 2005 my husband had an affair with a woman and got her pregnant. This I never though he would do. We divorced in Dec 2005. Since then i...

debilyn · debilyn

Geez, dang why did my AH have to have a stupid brain tumor and have a medical relapse then be too retarded to get back on program????? This is so awful sometimes. I used to tell the people who said why do you stay, hey what if your husband all of a sudden was not him anymore? What if it was from a brain cancer? Wo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

EXABF emailed Sat to basically tell me he is coming to get his stuff and I can let him know if I want to be there or not when he does. Didn't really ask-what's new? He hasn't asked how I've felt in MONTHS. He also informed me that he will be "redoing" his Myspace page and for me to please not be of...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I got into an argument with my bf the other night, not really an argument but I was mad at him. He dumped me for the third weekend in a row for his family and I was mad mad mad and I think justifiably so. I am still a secret and that is the heart of the problem. What I realized the other night as we were talkin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Forgiveness of denial and enabling (Preview) I just been reading your posts and finding them so insightful. Thank you all. My post today concerns my A-Mother, deceased, she died of cancer. She had always maintained that she never knew her mother as a result of her illegitimacy. It was true in one way but not in all and in fact did know her and visited...	maire rua	2	783	May 26, 2009 by maresie
	Afraid for his life... and mine (Preview) So I am new to this forum, but I need some advice or at least some help with coping. I have been with my ABF for about a year. When I started dating him, he had been in recovery for over a year. He was kind, hilariously funny, and one of the smartest people i'd ever met. about 2 months ago, he relapsed. I did...	jrules611	8	864	May 26, 2009 by maresie
	Progress...not perfection. (Preview) I've been trying really hard to stay detached from my ex-abf. I've posted some of the things that have happened in the past few weeks. He is with someone else now because I will not enable him to have a terrific life with me and still use. I received a text from him Friday..."I love u" was all it...	newday	8	678	May 26, 2009 by Jozie
	Update on my Memorial Day Weekend (Preview) First I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all that responded to my Ruined Memorial Day Weekend post. All great ESH!! Much appreciated. So here is how my weekend panned out. The probation officer told my son that he had a choice to make. He could get out of Juvie on Friday BUT he had to go w/me to the beach on...	QOD	2	597	May 26, 2009 by barisax
	just have to move forward (Preview) Alright, I am a broken record. Over and over SOS. Sometimes I feel like there's just not alot I can do. I am just a big goofy kid. I have done alot, I have become much more independant. Now I will have to be fully independant. Ugh I'm just back where I started saying to myself "what am I supposed to do?&q...	RainyJamie	4	543	May 25, 2009 by nmike
	Still learning..... (Preview) I've done very little this weekend, and learned a lot in doing so. Maybe it was some quite time that I needed. I learned that a "sober and in recovery" person does not necessarily equal a healthy person all the time, that rain drops from the back of a motorcycle feel similiar to what I think a...	shellyj123	2	566	May 25, 2009 by Jozie
	Memorial Day Rememberance (Preview) ((((((Friends)))))), Here's hoping you all have an enjoyable weekend....let's try and remember kindly and fondly the one's we lost to this terrible disease... I will remember with love my husband, I try and let all the garbage where it belongs. I have noticed even my son has left the garbage behind...	Andrea12	3	606	May 25, 2009 by rosielightshines
	please pray for my friends son (Preview) An old member from the past is my dear friend. Please give a thought or two to his son. the kid got bit by a copperhead snake today. He feels awful. love and thanks,debilyn	debilyn	6	711	May 25, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Can Someone Please Tell Me Why I Am Doing This? (Preview) I posted something a while back about drinking when you're with an alcoholic and I got a lot of responses, so I'm hoping that this brings a lot of responses too. OK, here's a little recap for those who don't know. . . . . When my husband got out of detox in April, I told him that there should be no more drinkin...	N8SMOM	14	976	May 25, 2009 by kitty
	Thankful for a New Day (Preview) After I slipped in my recovery (worrying, crying, calling my son) I felt terrible. But then I remember the great thing about Alanon. Its ok to make a mistake. I can start over today. It is a lovely bright sunny day. I could sit in the house and worry more...or I can sit and beat myself up. I chose to go o...	luvinmom	3	661	May 25, 2009 by kitty
	my husband got a job (Preview) He starts June 1st. I am soooo happy	Robinks	3	599	May 25, 2009 by aunitedway
	Good news, good news, good news at last (for me anyway) (Preview) Good news for me anyway. My husband and I will have a night on the town next Saturday, A real date. And this is a "dream date". Every since this man has burst on the music scene, I have wanted to see him!!!!! STRAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...	clara	7	684	May 24, 2009 by wp
	My family is growning! (Preview) My family is growning! In July of last year I became a member of this wonderful family at MIP. Then today I realized that I am a part of another wonderful family. My family at my church. My A Hubby and I have been going to this church for about 5 years now. It's through our trials that our faith is sharpe...	Sincerely	2	671	May 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	Laughing at myself as I uncover more denial (Preview) I can be such a dork sometimes. Ive been insisting that my procedure wasnt surgery as it didnt involve any incisions, staples, sutures, etc. therefore it wasn't that big of a deal. Others continued to call it surgery, so I being the geek that I am, I looked up the term "surgery" in Wiki lo a...	blender_girl	5	748	May 24, 2009 by Inpain
	I'm grouchy! (Preview) I'm grouchy. PMS'ing. Aware of it. Trying my best to say what I have to say nicely. Asking HP for patience. A Hubby seems sober and sweet. Hate hormones!!!! Hugs, Sincerely, Tonya	Sincerely	4	526	May 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Difficulty Working My Program Today (Preview) Have been to extra meetings this week to try to let go of my fear and anxiety. Not doing so well. My AS has been in recovery for almost 6 months. Has been living in 3/4 house and working fulltime. Memorial Day weekends have not been a good experieince for the past 4 years, usually something "bi...	luvinmom	4	786	May 24, 2009 by Ness
	People Pleasing. (Preview) I am losing weight and on an exercise regimen. I find myself thinking how much I want to "show" other people how attractive I can be and craving attention. I had no idea I did so many things for other people's reactions. I am enjoying losing weight because it gives me a sense of power. I feel...	maresie	8	1327	May 24, 2009 by emma
	Job recinded (Preview) *Everythign I am about to tell you I am ok with. I have made peace with, and the program delivered me through it yesterday. I have no other explanation how I could have survived it.* I get a call yesterday from the boss in Topeka, KS. They recinded the job. Apparently, there was a cosmic screw up on their en...	Tiger2006	11	1255	May 24, 2009 by emma
	Finally Realized My Denial and Stood Up For Myself (Preview) This may be a bit long, so be forewarned! This past Monday, I realized that I have been in denial about the emotional and verbal abuse that I have been putting up with over the years (even though you lovely people have pointed it out to me on more than one occasion ). I realized that I have been excusing i...	blender_girl	10	939	May 24, 2009 by kitty
	I made a friend! (Preview) I've been in my F2f wednesdays group for almost 3 months. One woman and I have been talking after meetings. Tonight we talked again a bit and we both have a lot in common. We exchanged contact info and I really thought I would contact her first but she reached right out to me. I'd love to go do lunch or som...	Inpain	14	894	May 24, 2009 by blender_girl
	Memorial Day Weekend Ruined Before It Even Began!! (Preview) I got a call from my son's probation officer this morning (Friday). He has been in juvie for a week b/c he tested positive for pot. His new lab tests came back this morning. They weren't due back until Tuesday. So now I have to go pick him up this afternoon @ 5:00. He will be on House Arrest all weekend un...	QOD	20	795	May 24, 2009 by clara
	Hope? (Preview) I've been feeling pretty down the last few days. I found out last night that I missed out on an opportunity to get a different job....cut off date for applications was 2 weeks ago. I would have been a shoe in for the job. Last night at work it was all I could do to not break down....seems like things just wann...	stillkickin	10	899	May 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	You have GOT to be freakin kidding me.........and so it continues!! (Preview) Just got home from work, and found that EXABF WAS here while I was at work. Came by in his big shiny new red truck and picked up all HIS stuff. The kicker to it all is he brought back NOTHING of mine that I asked him for, NOTHING! Two items totalling over $200.00 and a marble "plate" that I had fr...	shellyj123	7	820	May 23, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Kindness is the highest form of wisdom... (Preview) ...that is just one of the signatures that I have had on my profile, and I changed it perhaps a year ago, Well, I am not sure that I should have for it is constantly on my mind on an hour by hour basis, so I am putting it back on again. Anyway, I keep on thinking on this and every time I DO think on it, it works fo...	Suzannah	7	5055	May 23, 2009 by tiredtonite
	2009 Arizona Al-Anon Convention June 5-7 (with AA and Alateen participation) (Preview) I didn't want to highjack Maria123's thread, so I thought I would finally start one of my own. The Arizona Al-Anon Convention is June 5-7, 2009, in Tucson. Our theme is "Deep in the Heart of Al-Anon." Here is a link to the registration information: http://www.al-anon-az.org/events....	SLS	3	1205	May 23, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Im thinking about moving back (Preview) I have been thinking a lot yesterday and today about moving back with my A. My motive to go back would be for financial support. He wont give me any money while I am not there and with the horrible economy I need some help. I thought once I packed everything and left the county would help, but they wont even g...	Melissa21	10	812	May 23, 2009 by blender_girl
	Happy Memorial Day (Preview) ((((Family)))), Let me wish you all a Happy Memorial Day weekend. While this is the unofficial start of the summer season, let us pause and remember what this day truly is all about. Let us remember those who gave thier lives for this country and all around the world. My father was a vet, my grandfa...	Karilynn	1	470	May 23, 2009 by clara
	Frustrated (Preview) I am sure this post will be a bit of a vent - so anyone who reads and responds in advance - THANK YOU. I am just so frustrated. I had posted about a week ago, my agitation and my need to let go of my A's decision to take care of his medication refills. My A, who is in recovery (to my knowledge) does not have health i...	RunnerChick	7	653	May 22, 2009 by cart456
	Help with ignoring the beer (Preview) When my husband got out of detox, I had some "normal expectations" of him. They were quite simple: 1. No beer or booze in the house, and 2. Since he's not working, he has to wake up at a normal time and be a functioning member of this family. I never made any threats (Like if you drink I'm leaving...	N8SMOM	16	592	May 22, 2009 by florida
	Being Gentle With Myself (Preview) I am truly grateful for this board. I've been in knots all morning and am glad I have a place to post, since I am at work and unable to make it to a meeting this morning. I am trying to be gentle with myself during this time of uncertainty and learning to detach. I'm not doing it perfectly and most of the time it...	RunnerChick	4	797	May 22, 2009 by rosielightshines
	ADaughter is getting an apartment; worried!!!!!! (Preview) ADaughter is getting an apartment. She and hubby have reached an agreement that he will pay for the apartment for 1 year. Sound too good to be true??? Well, it is. What he is doing is giving her $1,000 a month to live on. This has to cover the apartment rent, utilities, groceries and food and gas mone...	clara	7	425	May 22, 2009 by maresie
	being shocked by A behavior (Preview) I was thinking about this post from yesterday all day today. That is how we just do not think like an A does. I mean I would never have thought that when AH was here for awhile one time, that when I left to town, he would be right behind me going to get bottle, and be home before me. I never saw him drink rememb...	debilyn	2	839	May 22, 2009 by maresie
	Trying hard to keep the focus on myself today. (Preview) Haven't heard from my ex-bfA (we were seeing each other again) for 5 days since I explained he could not come over because my kids (13/15) were home. I felt if I was going to see him...it should involve my kids. He threw a fit and went back to the enabling woman he's been seeing since we split 2 years ago...	newday	5	595	May 22, 2009 by maresie
	Dealing With Fear/And then What? (Preview) Dear Ones, A few years ago, I realized that I habitually reacted to situations from very trivial/minor to major at the same level. For instance, whether my partner was a few minutes late to pick me up, changed a date in advance, stood me up, or broke up with me, I had the same level of intensity of reaction...	BlueCloud	3	614	May 22, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Expectations? (Preview) Hi everyone. I love these boards and the online meetings, they have really been a huge lifesaver for me. Its so amazing to know I can come here anytime and you are all here, you all understand. I just want some opinions. I have an ah and I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to drink, I cant contro...	M's Mommy	11	1437	May 22, 2009 by M's Mommy
	Detachment attempted...once again. (Preview) My ex-Abf (together 7years) has been trying to rekindle our relationship after I threw him out 2 years ago. Since then he's been seeing a woman who enables/participates in his addictions. Over the past few weeks I have fallen weak to his pleas. Believing he was staying away from "her"...	newday	9	623	May 21, 2009 by BrightStar
	Trying to think postive about the negatives (Preview) So my cell phone was shut off today :( But to turn it positive I just keep thinking well that's the best excuse I can give him to not have to talk to him! Because I was gong to take a couple weeks and ignore all his calls! He will call and it's shut off so he can't get mad at me for not answering and I wont have to lis...	Melissa21	6	503	May 21, 2009 by debilyn
	Savior Behavior (Preview) We had a greet meeting this morning in which "savior behavior" was brought up. I know I do it a lot when I try to take care of someone else's stuff , that is theirs to take care of, enabling if you will. But I've also had it done to me. This is what I what to talk about and in a sense warn others of. Afte...	java	5	1864	May 21, 2009 by maresie
	Feeling sad (Preview) In the past few weeks, I have felt quite sad without expressing it really, this board has helped an awful lot and I have felt the benefit of all the posts here. Without it I feel I would have gone into a full scale depression, it has helped me put things in perspective. There are many things at the moment tha...	maire rua	9	610	May 21, 2009 by clara
	APOLOGIES----shame based?? or healthy?? (Preview) ######Rosie's note.......Oh I remember when I read this how I apologized for EVERYTHING!!! I was soo shamed based, if a person cut in front of me at the super market, I would apoligize.....I was always saying "I'm sorry".....Its like my upbringing, my parents always made me feel with the...	rosielightshines	2	958	May 21, 2009 by kitty
	The Language of Letting Go!!! :) (Preview) Today I was reading in my LoLG Daily reader... and remembered that after all the excitement yesterday.. That was one reader I never got to read... So I back stepped to yesterday, and knew I had to miss something good :) The Prayer for Yesterday was: *God...Help Me Fully Embrace & finish My Endings, S...*	Jozie	2	443	May 21, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Just for today~progress not perfection (Preview) Woke up this am, after a good nights sleep (for a change) and first thing I did was RE READ everyone's comments to my posts yesterday. Let me thank each and everyone of you for being there and the Hug the whole way from Costa Rica was just what I needed:) Decided that TODAY I am going to keep asking myself &...	shellyj123	4	1382	May 21, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Job Interview Part 2--Update (Preview) Thanks everyone for all of the support!! The interveiw went wonderfully! It is not required to relocate for this position, but it will require alot of disaplin. It is 40 miles away from my home and I would have 10 stores and have to visit each of them twice a month. LOTS OF TRAVELING but all stores are with...	Sincerely	6	527	May 21, 2009 by Jean4444
	Anyone an artist? (Preview) Here's a recovery program for artists..... http://www.artsanonymous.org/index.html	kissers	3	388	May 21, 2009 by Jean4444
	Miracles Amaze Me Today :) (Preview) My D Day, 11 Days Early... Today was just awesome... I got up this morning, with a little Nervousness running thru me not knowing how the day would be... But Charged on, Stopped at the Local Gas Station for a Cup of Joe, and just when I was getting ready to walk out, There was My BEST Friend from High School...	Jozie	4	488	May 21, 2009 by Christy
	Just for today~Very confused between a rock and a hard place. (Preview) I've decided that just for today I am not going to respond to EXABF's email. I just have nothing left at this point and am not feeling really well right now. I've read, posted, read and contacted my sponsor. I am spent today. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place........What I want was to have NC...	shellyj123	6	385	May 21, 2009 by Mariner
	Unbelievable~~~ Will it just ever be done???? (Preview) I emailed EXABF last night and told him he could come by Thursday while I was at work and get his stuff and that I would NOT be there. Also told him that I was feeling very sad and depleted over the entire situation. He emails me back last night and says Cant say for sure yet about Thursday. Im supposed to...	shellyj123	12	606	May 21, 2009 by rosielightshines
	you're making me sick (Preview) I have been thinking about how vicitmizing English can be at times or maybe it's our society, idk. You know how we say, "youre giving me a headache" or "this is a pain in my neck" or "look how you made me feel!" It is funny how we throw our energy away & leave ourselv...	kitty	5	447	May 20, 2009 by angelchar375
	I wish I would stop telling people (Preview) This is just a little thing, but I do wish I didnt feel the need to tell people my husband has left me! This is so negative, I did it tonight when this guy in a lovely country pub pointed out that we seemed to be on a strict budget...ive done it quite a few times, why dont I just say nothing, or that ive separated...	Lilly Burn	8	408	May 20, 2009 by drucilla06
	It's not fair (Preview) I've been doing pretty good since I left my A, but as days go by it gets harder and harder. I have no money, I don't have my own house, I have 2 kids to care for somehow on my own. All my stuff is in storage collecting dust. I have 5 weeks of one college class to finish online with no internet. And he calls to see th...	Melissa21	9	490	May 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Merry go round, round, round... (Preview) It seems like it never ends!!! Through this program and checking in with people and reading some of the lit, I find that I can watch it go round instead of hopping on and going with it. Just this morning I was able to find my AH using and somewhere deep inside, I found a different response. And guess what, He...	angelchar375	5	441	May 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	My adventure (Preview) This is something I have wanted to do for several years now but would not allow myself the expense. The day after my son got his dui I decided that I was going to give that gift to myself. After all, I would go to the earth's end in the past to help my children out financially. Why wouldn't I do the same for myse...	Gailey	11	510	May 20, 2009 by Becky1
	Freaked Out (Preview) Hello everyone!! My husband was in rehab and I was soooo happy he decided to stay a second month. But he just called, he's out and he's gonna stay in treatment, in ambulatory. I'm just freaked out, scared, terrified honestly. And, also, as a control freak I am, this out of control type of encounter just c...	Priscilla83	5	457	May 20, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Boss bully----I could really use some support!!!!! (Preview) I work for the 2 nice sons and their father who is a nasty old fart....He does not like me and today it came out in a veangance I am drinking my shake (if worker is there more than 4 hours they get 15 min break...FED. law)....He comes up to me and wants to know why I am "not busy"...I said I was busy, d...	rosielightshines	13	1311	May 20, 2009 by kitty
	I've Done It :) ME!!!! (Preview) Well today was a rough one, I went to work did what I had to do there, knocked off a little early, headed to the basement to sift through some of my Afather things, and pick out "some" things for the goodwill, I have a Long way to go, but I have made the extra mile and I did it with me & HP... My mom...	Jozie	6	538	May 20, 2009 by Ness
	In the Darkest of Times God Carries Us (Preview) (((((((Friends)))))))))))), I just came from a funeral of a wonderful 20 yr young man whom I watched grow up. I watched as his parents and families hearts were breaking, I watched these macho young men my son included cry like babies as they saw there friend for the last time. Brad was killed while ri...	Andrea12	6	426	May 20, 2009 by Peggy7
	New Here and Need Advise and Help (Preview) Hello, This is my first post. I need some help from everyone. My Story- I was married to my husband for 11 years. We have 2 children (now ages 6 and 7). In the summer of 2005 my husband had an affair with a woman and got her pregnant. This I never though he would do. We divorced in Dec 2005. Since then i...	Barbarajo05	12	567	May 20, 2009 by kitty
	I must be ugly? (Preview) Geez, dang why did my AH have to have a stupid brain tumor and have a medical relapse then be too retarded to get back on program????? This is so awful sometimes. I used to tell the people who said why do you stay, hey what if your husband all of a sudden was not him anymore? What if it was from a brain cancer? Wo...	debilyn	9	608	May 20, 2009 by tiredtonite
	WHAT is WRONG with me???? Something has to be...... (Preview) EXABF emailed Sat to basically tell me he is coming to get his stuff and I can let him know if I want to be there or not when he does. Didn't really ask-what's new? He hasn't asked how I've felt in MONTHS. He also informed me that he will be "redoing" his Myspace page and for me to please not be of...	shellyj123	11	555	May 20, 2009 by debilyn
	Realization (Preview) So I got into an argument with my bf the other night, not really an argument but I was mad at him. He dumped me for the third weekend in a row for his family and I was mad mad mad and I think justifiably so. I am still a secret and that is the heart of the problem. What I realized the other night as we were talkin...	carolinagirl	6	532	May 20, 2009 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.