The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am losing weight and on an exercise regimen. I find myself thinking how much I want to "show" other people how attractive I can be and craving attention. I had no idea I did so many things for other people's reactions. I am enjoying losing weight because it gives me a sense of power. I feel stronger and less on overwhlem. Nevertheless my expectaions of what I can lose and how is way way magical.
Yea, I did stuff for approval outside of me and now, with recovery, yea, I want to be a blessing to others, however I seek MY approval and what I do now is what is best for ME!!!!!
Yea, me too, ... I too have this sort of obsessive thinking of : "if I do this, then they will think/do/feel this..." I need to consciously keep the focus on "if i do this, then I will ..."
Yeah, I get that too but for me, my exercise regimen is such a pivotal factor in my own overall health and well-being. If I do not exercise, my stinking thinking ratio goes WAY up so its easy for me to keep the focus totally on me with that stuff. I have no idea why or how it works but its a tool for me and totally essential. Right now I have injured my foot and cannot jog and its driving me nuts. I need to find a pool! HA! hugs, J.
-- Edited by Jean4444 on Friday 15th of May 2009 05:53:10 AM
I'm doing Atkins and starting to panic because I'm not seeing the results *I* want. I read that sometimes people have to INCREASE their calories to lose weight, because their bodies have gone on starvation mode, and I can feel my heels figuratively digging in - I am SO resistant to changing this old idea! I need to lose about 80 pounds, and it seems so overwhelming - you're right mare, it's a great opportunity to practice my program. So far the only tool I seem able to bring to bear is, trust the process.... results may NOT come in a few weeks, but that doesn't mean it's not working..... aaaaarrrrrgh.
I think that there is a difference between people pleasing and validation. Sometimes we just need people to notice the goodnes in us. Without asking or manipulating.
Exercise is new for me. Nevertheless I do find it helps me with my reactiveness and my mood. So I am going to keep at it. I hope the weight loss comes along with it.
I don't have much experience with grounded validation. I get some at the gymn and I am hoping for some from my doctor this month when he sees my weight loss. Who knows.
I appreciate your insight into wanting to lose weight for how that makes you feel -- but also the people pleasing enters in. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for your insightfulness. Take care, emma
