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Should I contact his family...
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is Patty and I have a very good friend who I am very concerned about. Over the past couple years we have become very close. He has confided in me that he is a functional alcoholic... he knows there is a problem, but he is unwilling or unable to seek help. He is a wonderful and amazing...
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PattyW
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11
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1073
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Day five and doing well.
(Preview)
Today I found out I can start the mower, and I got most of the lawns mowed. Tomorrow I try the weedeater! LOL I am taking care of the animals singlehandedly; even hired a reputable painter to finish the outside of the house. (the A just dropped everything and walked out.) Calling that "walking o...
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Diva
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9
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1019
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Just when my boundaries were slipping.........
(Preview)
Travelling back from the funeral of my sis-in-law last week, a long 600 mile trip, my Ason was foremost in my thoughts. Love and loss, funerals trigger many things. I was thinking I feel a bit stronger now in Alanon, maybe I will tweak the boundary a bit and let him come home for a weekend.Well around a 100...
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Ness
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6
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951
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AH just wont go away and leave me in peace.
(Preview)
i am so frustrated with AH right now i could cheerfully ............ i dont know what i could cheerfully do? the final decision was taken by me that enough was enough as you know earlier this week. since then AH has been a right royal pain in the you know what!!! he has deliberately come past where i l...
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miss lucy
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6
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820
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dreams, what does it all mean
(Preview)
Been sick, my med makes me sleep. Which is ok as I have not had my shoulder fixed yet, pain makes it hard to sleep. Anyway I had a horrible dream. I tend to dream in this same sorta way. Everyone who passed in my life, which is almost everyone, hates me. I mean is so disgusted and ashamed of me. My family was ver...
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lyndebi
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2
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727
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Got roped again
(Preview)
It's been a while since I've posted here. My sponsor, god bless her, isn't available for a phone call, though I did call another member and chat for a while... feel a little better but I know my mind and I know my head's going to chew on this for a good deal of time. And it ticks me off because it's the evening a...
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Aloha
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5
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819
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Isolation
(Preview)
I feel so shut off from the world around me. I get up, I go to work, I take care of my house and everyone in it. I had to hear today at work the endless talk of successful children, loving grandchildren, lives that seem to glide through life from one accomplishment to the next. I am just relieved if I make it t...
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DreamsOver
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9
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1007
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Sometimes the consequences of powerlessness...
(Preview)
is relief and relaxation, sometimes its relief and happiness and sometimes it is sadness and grief. Got some extra undirected prayers? Got some whispers to your Higher Power ready to go. I'd like to use a couple of them if I may along with my own...Our family just lost a young 29 year old female cousi...
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Jerry F
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21
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1087
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feeling guilty... should I?
(Preview)
My ah and I keep separate checking accounts... for obvious reasons... Unbeknownst to him, I keep tabs on his acc't. Why? Becasue he usually keeps about $150 a week for his crap and I get resentfull if he has got overtime and he doens't offer it up for bills...He doesn't do a good job at this. he has no i...
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angelbreeze127
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7
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899
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struggling with higher power
(Preview)
I've attended a bunch of meetings in the last two weeks. i've purchased one of the books. i'm struggling with letting go control - ie a higher power. i am realizing i am a control freak and one of the reasons i can't believe in "god" or a higher power is that i can't admit that i am powerless/lack...
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maybethistime
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14
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1593
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He finally hit rock bottom literally
(Preview)
I havent been here in awhile, but I wanted to share the following, cause even though we are divorced I suppose this still affects me and the kids. On February 4, 2010 my X moved back to the small island he was raised on, this after he was arrested and had his license suspended at the end of January for a DUI, a...
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doublesmommy
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13
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857
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I hit my AH today.
(Preview)
I hit him twice. One was a punch in the face. I'm so incredibly guilty and sick over it. I've been beating myself up since. He disappeared again on Thursday and didn't come back or call. Called Saturday and left me a suicide message again. This is 3 times now. When I didn't respond, he went to the ER...
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Destynee
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12
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796
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My kids were clueless to the problem
(Preview)
Everyone has told me over and over my kids will benefit from this split with the A and myself. I have told them that i hid it so well from my kids, my A didn't drink at home...he would disappear and be gone for long periods of time. My kids would think he was working out of town. Everyone says...including...
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sdisnie
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6
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925
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I am Lyn... I am new to all this and really hurting right now
(Preview)
I haven't slept in days....all I do is cry...looking for some peace and inspiration. I have an adult son, a police officer, who is an alcoholic. He was careful...never drank on a day when he was working, but when he was off duty, he drank much more than I realized. A few days into 2010, he had a seizure on...
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LynW
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13
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1352
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Still Learning... Still Growing :)
(Preview)
Welp... yesterday I Finally got to spend some Much needed time with my Sponser, we hung out & chatted for hours on end ;) it is amazing how after speaking I can feel so much better... She has been helping me work on some issues that I am attemping to come to terms with... I never realized how much I make m...
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Jozie
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1
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764
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needing someone to" listen ", please
(Preview)
I am desperately hoping someone can guide me in the right direction and offer some kind of advice because right now I am feeling so lost and alone. Father in law is an alcoholic. My husband or sister in law doesn't know what to do now. My husband and I have opened our home up to him twice in the past even when w...
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beacheemom
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7
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759
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Is it healthy or not healthy to just flat out not communicate with the ex-AH
(Preview)
It kind of makes me feel better to not deal with him...to speak to him, to not look at him, to not be anywhere near him. When I see a text or an email come through I absolutely cringe. I can't deal with anything that he's doing or how he's living his life right now, so completely shutting myself off from it...
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sdisnie
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2
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842
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Morning After Again......
(Preview)
I came home from work yesterday to a empty house, I knew my A was out drinking again. I went about my business, took shower, read a lilttle, pray, watched dancing with the stars....My A calls me 4 times on the phone and I did not pick up. I am thinking he is drunk and the bar is calling me to pick him up or he is...
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weggie
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6
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900
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Letting go (new personal recovery awareness)
(Preview)
Hi people. I thought I would share my new awareness with you guys. I read this reading the other night in Hope For Today page 17 as I become overwhelmed with my struggle to detach from family with it being easter weekend. To give a little bit of insight I was feeling lonely due to not spending time with my n...
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chezza
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4
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1177
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Today's Birthday Gal - Kerry5
(Preview)
Happy Birthday (((Kerry))), May your day be just as beautiful as you Hope you and your little ones have a wonderful day together to celebrate your :birthday: Enjoy love in recovery, Maria
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Maria123
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8
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819
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trying to break free
(Preview)
Finally I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself .I gathered up my courage and prayed I could hold it together.I went to speak to lawyer about my situation and he advised me to get out that very day .He said he was worried for my safety and my children.He asked me to contact my parents for...
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cassidy2010
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5
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842
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Hoping for some insight...ESH...sanity?
(Preview)
Hello! I always get such good advice, wisdom and a feeling of peace on these boards that I wanted to share something that has been bothering me involving my Abf-sober's ex-gf. Recently I have been posting alot about both my and my bf working our programs, treating each other gently, communicating...
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lizzakiss
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4
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865
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Something I found funny
(Preview)
I may be a bit giddy at 1AM after 12 hours of homework but hearing the TV playing a late night movie, Dukes of Hazard. When all of a sudden clear as a bell I heard the line of the narrator say, "When you're flying by the seat of your pants nothing sounds more official than a Plan B" and had flashback...
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Jennifer
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1
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615
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Desperately need ESH
(Preview)
My A fiance just walked out on me about an hour or so ago. I don't know where he is, if he's coming back, or what to do at this point. I did try and call him about a million times to find out if he's coming back. I don't like to be left in the air like this let alone sad and hurt. We had a disagreement and he just l...
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Ragdolls
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12
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1030
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Hi, returning to the forum ...again
(Preview)
Hi , I thought I might introduce myself again. I'm English so I have found it hard to join in with the chat room meetings. The times are terrible for me. I used to use the chat room a lot when my husband was drinking. Ranting in the middle of the night to people who understood really helped me sleep and move in...
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mon123
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5
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797
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I think im starting to be touched by the hp
(Preview)
I am on a rollercoaster of emotions, after a rollercoaster relationship with my ex who is in NA and AA and been clean for 7 years almost. I have mentioned im pregnant and due in around 9 weeks to give birth. So hormones and the prospect of being alone when im quite vulnerable adds to my stress. I have thi...
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ayjay
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4
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829
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Moved out, but haven't moved on...
(Preview)
Finally have Internet set up in my new apartment. Most of you know I moved out of the house with my ex-abf - bf? I don't even know what is going on between us now... While I have MOVED out - I have not MOVED on. I am terrified to ask for space. Terrified of losing him forever - OR of him meeting someone else. Ther...
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RunnerChick
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12
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1087
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Is this insane?!
(Preview)
I don't know why I think I have to find a place for my A ex-husband to go to when I keep my promise that he must leave when he starts drinking again. (we're together in my house). The house use to be ours but due to his legal issues, the house was put in my name. He started drinking yesterday and I want him out. He...
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victoria
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7
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1138
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Happy Easter!
(Preview)
((((((Family))))), A very Happy Easter to all of you. The has risen and it is truely a glorious Sunday. Enjoy the day and all that it has to offer. Enjoy the promise of a new day and new beginnings. Hope springs eternal. I hope the Easter Bunny and Easter Beagle (remember Charilie Brown?) is extra g...
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Karilynn
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3
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607
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clarification to looking for a book
(Preview)
I guess I should have said that its an inner child book not an acoa book...sorry for the confusion.
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seekingserenity
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1
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622
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Need Op to chair tonights meeting
(Preview)
Can not chair tonights meeting would appreciate another op to chair Thanks kERry
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kerry5
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0
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583
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Hawaii calls...even without him...
(Preview)
So he left...What else is new? He has left and I have taken him back so many times, my door is coming off the hinges. This time I have made it clear to him that I do not want him back. Oh, I see some lonely days and nights ahead, but all in all, I have my life back and I feel good about my future. We had a trip to Ha...
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Diva
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15
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1068
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progress report
(Preview)
The good news is AH has been not drinking for about 6 weeks now. The bad news is he would still be driving me crazy if I let it get to me. I guess he is in that stage that I've heard called ¨stark raving sober¨. He has tons of energy, a million different projects started, is critical of things I've done or decis...
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pineapple
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7
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1171
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Just for today..........
(Preview)
I will not ask my A son anything that will give him the opportunity to lie....especially if I already know the answer.
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Gailey
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6
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961
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recipe:- HAPPINESS PUDDING!
(Preview)
Two equal quantities of generosity and thought for others, add a few dozen pleasant smiles, followed by the same number of kind words. Sprinkle freely with fun and merriment, flavour with wit and humour and mix thoroughly with the spirit of love. Warm with bright looks and serve often. Katyx
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Katy
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5
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794
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Know that image of the angel on one shoulder devil on the other
(Preview)
They're sitting on mine right now. Another letter came in the mail today. And I quote, "I know you asked for no contact but I just can't do it." "I think I know I screwed up, but come on ..." "you are my only friend" I am the least violent person in the world but I swear right...
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Jennifer
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7
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1115
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Starting a new group wish me luck
(Preview)
I have found myself dealing with a lot of other people's junk lately and one day something (probably my HP) said "get busy". So long story short I am starting a new Al-Anon group today at noon. My area has not had a daytime meeting for as far back as I can remember. I've gotten a lot of positive...
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Mobirdie
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8
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705
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Women who love too much
(Preview)
HI I am new to al-anon, but have been considering joining for around 12 years, when I first read the book 'women who love too much'. I went to my first meeting 3 weeks ago and plan to attend regular after some time reflecting. I wasn't sure if it could help me, I am not here because im pregnant to a guy in NA, a...
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ayjay
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8
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2008
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April Business Meeting Agenda (4/11/10)
(Preview)
Agenda Open with Serenity Prayer Review of OP Meeting Chair Schedule Old Business none at present New Business election of Business Meeting Chair election of Business Meeting Secretary Closing with Al-Anon Declaration -- Edited by Courage on Saturday 3rd of April 2010 09:23:37 PM
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Courage
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0
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496
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Smell
(Preview)
So I went away from our house for a week for a funeral and a business trip. When I got back, I swear, the house smells like beer breath. That alcoholic smell. You know the one. It makes me sick. So what am I doing? NOT going to sit here smelling it and freaking out silently, hating my AH more with every passing...
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intothewoods
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4
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809
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Am I being Unreasonable?
(Preview)
Okay so this is getting a little on the personal side and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone... Is it unreasonable of me to refuse sex to my A when he is drunk? He is acting like I'm the most unreasonable callous person on the planet and I just tried to nicely explain that I'm not interested in intima...
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Love Always Hopes
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26
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1363
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looking for the name of a book
(Preview)
A while ago someone told me the name of an ACOA book that I could read online. I thought I put it in my favorites but it's gone. Anyway, I would appreciate any help. Thanks
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seekingserenity
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2
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716
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freedom is the strangest feeling
(Preview)
hello again. sorry its been a while. i have been heavily into my studying. am pleased to report that i have passed two of my six tests and am shortly to take number three. my business plan is slowly coming together and i have now got a car so i am completely independant. life should be so good now but i a...
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miss lucy
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7
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943
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Feeling held hostage
(Preview)
My daughter A was sober for 60 days going to meetings everyday had a caring sponsor and I thought we were well on our way to sobriety.....until her court hearing. Since her BA level was .404 she was charged with a super extreme dui with a minimum jail sentence of 6 months. We got home and she immediately...
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KRS
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4
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946
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Update
(Preview)
Saw my AH-separated on Wed night. My daughter and I had dinner with him, then she went with him for the weekend. The atmosphere at dinner was very amiable, so yesterday I sent him an email suggesting he withdraw his court filing, and we sit down to discuss what will truly be best for all involved regardin...
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babysteps
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2
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730
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Hooks......I think I swallowed it this time!! UGH!!
(Preview)
My STB ex-AH called yesterday afternoon and what did I do?? Oh no, I didn't hit reject or just ignore the call, yes, I answered it!! Why?? I have NO idea. Maybe I wanted to see what the fisherman was up to this time or I was feeling lonley, abandoned, afraid and whatever contact I could have was better...
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farmgirlmay
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4
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926
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What might happen...
(Preview)
When he/she (alcoholic) is in recovery and attending to their own growth and I am not. This is something China woke me up to; an experience I use to witness in the past (Don't focus on it now) and have seen happen in the area I got into recovery. The alcoholic got sober and grew, often very well, in recove...
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Jerry F
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10
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800
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broken hearted
(Preview)
I have been in a yo-yo relationship with an alcoholic for a year and 1/2. He is an amazing man when sober. He is a successful builder, intelligent, passionate, caring, romantic, is always thinking of me, treats me like a princess and rocks my world. When he drinks... he becomes insecure and child...
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daisygirl
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5
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1295
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Hello, my name is Jennifer
(Preview)
and I am an addict addict. Otherwise known as an professional enabler, and codependent. I once thought I was as powerful as a savior, ready to take on the world of addictions, though not my own, caffeine is my friend ... just my A's or any of the A's in my life. I was a sounding board, knightess in tarnishe...
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Jennifer
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7
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1183
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Seeing AH tonight
(Preview)
Out of the blue my AH-separated filed for custody of our daughter, alimony and child support. He moved out 15 months ago to a town 4 hours away. Our daughter visits him as often as practical given the distance. I have been her primary caretaker since birth and she has lived with me since he left. I talked t...
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babysteps
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6
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832
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Not sure how to feel
(Preview)
Things have been going pretty well lately. Abf-sober has been making meetings, as have I. Working steps, trying to break old patterns and though there has been a bump or two along the way the last month or more, for the most part it's been a pretty "normal" time. Then yesterday happened. ...
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lizzakiss
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12
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877
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Frustrated disappointment
(Preview)
I have lost track of how many serious talks my A and I have had where he tells me his plan to stop drinking. I ask him what will be different this time and there is always some way that he appeals to the hope in me and I am happy and relieved and grateful and totally behind him - I'll plan the evenings so there's...
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Love Always Hopes
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12
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816
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What to do next?
(Preview)
Hi, it has been a while since my last post. I finally moved out and doing very well. This summer is going to be two years. My Ex-A is been sober for a little more than a year. It looks like everything is going well. But it is me. I don't want to go back to him even though he is showing a great effort in keeping u...
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China
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6
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1085
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Hooks...
(Preview)
My soon to be ex-AH is still sending the hooks and i'm still a fish swimming in that pond!! Today was his payday so I sent an e-mail asking about money for myself and the kids. His response was he could spare $100 (after he has payed for all his own expenses) and that he "hoped" i understood he c...
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farmgirlmay
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6
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851
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AH Home from Rehab, The Spiral Continues
(Preview)
Last night as I am trying to fall asleep, my Ah calls me to let me know he is home. And he is furious. He was told while in rehab that I had moved out. He was very angry that I had taken all my clothes, not just a few to tide me over. Then he procedes with the guilt trip on how horrible rehab was and how he was doing it...
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Acatnip
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8
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1062
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Morning After
(Preview)
Well, I was wondering when this would happen. My A woke up this am and didn't remember anything about last night. He begged me to stay with him as I am leaving for church. I said no and left....Please God fixed this problem, as he and I are hurting.
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weggie
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4
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639
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Feel so broken
(Preview)
I am really feeling broken today and wondering "Can you really ever have a happy marriage with your A"? Right now I have such a hate for him and how much he has hurt me over the years, I just can't see any type of relationship with him. I was looking back yesterday at when I first joined MIP and I ca...
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Rose
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7
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845
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Message Board Mailing List
(Preview)
The Al-Anon Message Board Decision Meeting Mailing list, which you can sign up to recieve is located at the top of this message board page. The purpose of this mailing list is so that those who want to be informed of our decision meeting schedule, whats on the agenda for those meetings and the results o...
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John
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0
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526
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Soon Legally Unhitched, But Still Emotionally Attached
(Preview)
It looks as though by the end of June I will be divorced from my AH; we've been married for 36 years. We have been separated since his last DUI in Nov. 2009. I'm so ready to be legally detached from him, even though I'm concerned that he might drink and drive again, resulting in a fatality. Being legal...
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GailMichelle
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2
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990
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Can someone behave totally different under the influence of alcohol
(Preview)
Hi, I am so drained after a six month relationship with an alcoholic that I missed my first al anon meeting I had intended to go to. I have never dealt with an alcoholic before so my question my sound really naive to those of you who have the experience. My boyfriend would call me in his after bar hours, waki...
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shannah
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10
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1091
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