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Update
(Preview)
Saw my AH-separated on Wed night. My daughter and I had dinner with him, then she went with him for the weekend. The atmosphere at dinner was very amiable, so yesterday I sent him an email suggesting he withdraw his court filing, and we sit down to discuss what will truly be best for all involved regardin...
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babysteps
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2
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653
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Hooks......I think I swallowed it this time!! UGH!!
(Preview)
My STB ex-AH called yesterday afternoon and what did I do?? Oh no, I didn't hit reject or just ignore the call, yes, I answered it!! Why?? I have NO idea. Maybe I wanted to see what the fisherman was up to this time or I was feeling lonley, abandoned, afraid and whatever contact I could have was better...
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farmgirlmay
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4
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852
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What might happen...
(Preview)
When he/she (alcoholic) is in recovery and attending to their own growth and I am not. This is something China woke me up to; an experience I use to witness in the past (Don't focus on it now) and have seen happen in the area I got into recovery. The alcoholic got sober and grew, often very well, in recove...
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Jerry F
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10
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725
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broken hearted
(Preview)
I have been in a yo-yo relationship with an alcoholic for a year and 1/2. He is an amazing man when sober. He is a successful builder, intelligent, passionate, caring, romantic, is always thinking of me, treats me like a princess and rocks my world. When he drinks... he becomes insecure and child...
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daisygirl
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5
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1206
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Hello, my name is Jennifer
(Preview)
and I am an addict addict. Otherwise known as an professional enabler, and codependent. I once thought I was as powerful as a savior, ready to take on the world of addictions, though not my own, caffeine is my friend ... just my A's or any of the A's in my life. I was a sounding board, knightess in tarnishe...
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Jennifer
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7
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1101
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Seeing AH tonight
(Preview)
Out of the blue my AH-separated filed for custody of our daughter, alimony and child support. He moved out 15 months ago to a town 4 hours away. Our daughter visits him as often as practical given the distance. I have been her primary caretaker since birth and she has lived with me since he left. I talked t...
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babysteps
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6
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755
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Not sure how to feel
(Preview)
Things have been going pretty well lately. Abf-sober has been making meetings, as have I. Working steps, trying to break old patterns and though there has been a bump or two along the way the last month or more, for the most part it's been a pretty "normal" time. Then yesterday happened. ...
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lizzakiss
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12
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804
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Frustrated disappointment
(Preview)
I have lost track of how many serious talks my A and I have had where he tells me his plan to stop drinking. I ask him what will be different this time and there is always some way that he appeals to the hope in me and I am happy and relieved and grateful and totally behind him - I'll plan the evenings so there's...
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Love Always Hopes
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12
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747
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What to do next?
(Preview)
Hi, it has been a while since my last post. I finally moved out and doing very well. This summer is going to be two years. My Ex-A is been sober for a little more than a year. It looks like everything is going well. But it is me. I don't want to go back to him even though he is showing a great effort in keeping u...
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China
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6
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1008
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Hooks...
(Preview)
My soon to be ex-AH is still sending the hooks and i'm still a fish swimming in that pond!! Today was his payday so I sent an e-mail asking about money for myself and the kids. His response was he could spare $100 (after he has payed for all his own expenses) and that he "hoped" i understood he c...
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farmgirlmay
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6
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773
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AH Home from Rehab, The Spiral Continues
(Preview)
Last night as I am trying to fall asleep, my Ah calls me to let me know he is home. And he is furious. He was told while in rehab that I had moved out. He was very angry that I had taken all my clothes, not just a few to tide me over. Then he procedes with the guilt trip on how horrible rehab was and how he was doing it...
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Acatnip
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8
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986
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Morning After
(Preview)
Well, I was wondering when this would happen. My A woke up this am and didn't remember anything about last night. He begged me to stay with him as I am leaving for church. I said no and left....Please God fixed this problem, as he and I are hurting.
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weggie
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4
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571
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Feel so broken
(Preview)
I am really feeling broken today and wondering "Can you really ever have a happy marriage with your A"? Right now I have such a hate for him and how much he has hurt me over the years, I just can't see any type of relationship with him. I was looking back yesterday at when I first joined MIP and I ca...
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Rose
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7
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771
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Message Board Mailing List
(Preview)
The Al-Anon Message Board Decision Meeting Mailing list, which you can sign up to recieve is located at the top of this message board page. The purpose of this mailing list is so that those who want to be informed of our decision meeting schedule, whats on the agenda for those meetings and the results o...
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John
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0
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452
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Soon Legally Unhitched, But Still Emotionally Attached
(Preview)
It looks as though by the end of June I will be divorced from my AH; we've been married for 36 years. We have been separated since his last DUI in Nov. 2009. I'm so ready to be legally detached from him, even though I'm concerned that he might drink and drive again, resulting in a fatality. Being legal...
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GailMichelle
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2
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916
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Can someone behave totally different under the influence of alcohol
(Preview)
Hi, I am so drained after a six month relationship with an alcoholic that I missed my first al anon meeting I had intended to go to. I have never dealt with an alcoholic before so my question my sound really naive to those of you who have the experience. My boyfriend would call me in his after bar hours, waki...
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shannah
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10
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1014
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Why do they lie and when does the damage stop?
(Preview)
AH has been estranged from his children and family for years, for which it was explained to me because of his drinking and controlling manner. I reached out to his only remianing son that would speak to him when AH began his binging and first suicide attempt. I sought out some help from him and to make him...
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Acatnip
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10
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979
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Everthing Is Broken
(Preview)
Take a deep breath Feels like your choking Everything is broken.. Bob Dylan These are a few lines from one of my favorite Dylan songs, it expresses exactly how I feel at this moment. I feel so low, I know I shouldn't be disappointed when my A son does what comes n...
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DreamsOver
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6
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835
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Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
(Preview)
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.A loss of interest in judging other people.A loss of interest in judging self.A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.A loss of interest in confli...
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John
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9
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1079
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MY MIRACLE
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Just wanted to touch base with all about Ason. He is out of hosiptal and now in a 6 month program with the Salvation Army... He is very excited to start a new life. A sober life. I told him one day at a time. I let go and let HP take control .... Now I can sleep knowing that my son is in a safe place. T...
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moonchild
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10
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727
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Progress.
(Preview)
This last weekend someone I don't really know went off on me. In the past I would have spent a lot of time wondering why someone did that. Now that I have boundaries I have a good idea when to pull the plug. I also would have really personalized the attack. I don't do that anymore. I spent years in purga...
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maresie
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4
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955
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9 yrs and 3 months sober
(Preview)
I finelly made it thanks to my sponsor and the program and my home Group
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Rodney2009
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4
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673
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my messages
(Preview)
sorry all for the confusions I just been so angry and up set here and I guess I should of signed up for the AA room. Anyhow I will shut up for now Rodney I hope to come back. I had suicidal ideas last night and said this on face book as well.thanks to a reletive who called me talked me out of this.
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Rodney2009
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5
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809
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We cant help who we fall in love with ????
(Preview)
Those were words I heard from alot of people in my life. The problem with that was that if it were true I was in serious trouble. I reached a point where I was just not willing to take that as truth. I knew something was very wrong with my attraction, misplaced loyalty, and downright broken heartedness...
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DreamXL
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12
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669
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Change
(Preview)
I think the biggest change for me in recent years is not only the boundary issue. What I have stopped doing is thinking any alcoholic can understand me, meet my emotional needs or have empathy for me. I've spent decades trying to convert alcoholics and trying to squeeze out something from active alc...
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maresie
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3
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664
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Questions on what I'm learning here
(Preview)
This is my first week of exploring this website or even really learning what al-anon is all about. There are two themes I'm hearing that I have questions about. Hopefully, you will understand that I am not trying to argue but really just want to answer the honest question that pops up in my heart... 1...
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Love Always Hopes
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10
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856
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Back again - Lost and angry
(Preview)
Hi all, I haven't posted much but I read a lot of the messages and just want to scream at the world that the majority of the posts are exactly what I am feeling. This is a great place to come to know that you are not alone in this world. So my story continues.......my AH is still drinking. Can't seem to make it...
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Rose
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10
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906
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Today is THAT Day...
(Preview)
What Day... THAT Day :) I sat down at my kitchen table, 10 years ago today... I sat down & wrote a letter to My Grandma in heaven... I wanted to share a piece of it with you... "I can sit down here & I can write my memories of her: Her memory will live with me forever, along with her STRENGTH, her C...
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Jozie
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2
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801
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What To Do?? Need Serious Advice
(Preview)
AH has been hitting the bottle pretty hard, starting early yesterday with much drama as evident by my last post. He keeps telling me he loves me but I know he loves the bottle more. So today, left AH at home and spent the day with my daughter. I missed a call from him and he left a message saying he was "...
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Acatnip
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9
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923
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my new granddaughter.......
(Preview)
has just arrived. I am so excited but will not get to meet her until 4/17. We will be leaving for Japan that day. Her name is Julia and they have waited a long time for a baby. What a joy!!!!!
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Gailey
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8
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748
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half way there
(Preview)
My AH is half way through his treatment. I am more confused now more than ever. I have been talking to him almost nightly since he went in. Some things are really troubling me... I'm thoroughly enjoying him being gone. I like that I can do what I want and don't have to even think about what he is doing. I li...
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Sweet Stanley
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4
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574
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Very down
(Preview)
Hi All. Just feeling down. My dear father died a week ago in hospital. They rang but I live 2 hours away and didn't get there in time. He would have been 89 next month and he has been ill for some time so in some ways it was a relief and a release for him. At last he is in peace. I have spent the last 2 days sorting ou...
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Tattyhead
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6
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765
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dont belong here oviouselly
(Preview)
I am still struggling here re my family still using I cant seam to get a sponsor face to face for this program what is your advice thanks Rod from Canada
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Rodney2009
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9
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938
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Postings
(Preview)
Hi Everyone It seems strange that there has been no new posts on this board in several hours . I was unable to attend last nights meeting, as I could not connect to the chat room Just wondering about the results. Hope everyone has a great day
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hotrod
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2
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665
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loss a family member
(Preview)
I have had desire to drink in the past while thank God i did not do it but please keep me in prayers thanks Rod
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Rodney2009
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8
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834
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Happy Passover
(Preview)
To all of my MIP that celebrates Passover this week, I wish you much joy & blessings. Enjoy the celebration. Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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Karilynn
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0
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330
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Step 2
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone A few weeks ago we decided to post a Step a week on the Step Board. We did begin with Step One and since it has been 2 weeks since the last post I have Posted my experience with Step 2 on the Step Board. I would love to read your experience with this Step Thanks
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hotrod
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3
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651
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Why do Weekends SUCK????
(Preview)
What the heck is it about weekends? I don't get it. My husband and I pass in the night all week long and when Thursday night comes Dr. Jekyll starts to appear. Our weekends and holidays SUCK. Like I have mentioned before, my husband's drinking is not active all the time, in fact, he has not gotten drun...
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rachweb
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8
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850
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Ugly divorce
(Preview)
Thank God for this website. My AH and I have been separated for 15 months. He has lived 4 hours away from me and our daughter since separating. He was/is a chronic alcoholic. He has seen our daughter for holidays, long weekends once a month, and five weeks last summer. He has only come to our town once sinc...
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babysteps
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5
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731
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Pain
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I have been to weekend convention this weekend and had a very strange experience. I asked my Hp before I left to help me to keep the focus on me. The convention is called new beginnings and I wanted to really start to focus on my recovery. My sober ABF was attending the convention also and a...
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Tracy
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3
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647
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Rehab/3 day hold question
(Preview)
AH checked himself in last night for a voluntary three day hold to get help. I do not know if he did it to quit drinking or to prevent another suicide attempt. I was not home and he sought out his son to assist him. As a result, I have no idea what to expect. I am planning to move out and am fearful that they are go...
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Acatnip
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2
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663
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New here!
(Preview)
Hi. I'm new on here and hope to benefit from your advice and posts and to 'let off some steam' if I'm honest!! My 44 yr old sister ... married with 3 kids ... is an alcoholic and has been for years. She spent 6 weeks in a clinic on a de-tox programme 5 years ago and spent a considerable time sober. I took her...
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fingersxd
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10
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851
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My meeting after being absent over 1 year
(Preview)
Hi Everybody, You have all encouraged me. My husband relapsed 3 weeks ago and I have gone through alot of soul searching and prayer. After reading all the posts on this board and the inspiring messages, I decided to go to an Al-Anon meeting after being absent for over a year. I am so glad I went!!!! It w...
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wifeofalcoholic
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7
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756
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Pray
(Preview)
Another lonely night thinking where is he. My A just came home awhile ago and of course...drunk. ..As he passed out on the bed, I cried out to my God "Plese take him or me, I can't take this anymore." I must have cried out for 1/2 hour repeating the same words to God..." Please, him or me,,...
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weggie
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4
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740
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Don't Even Know Where to Start
(Preview)
I am currently sitting at home with my ten month old baby. Monday I pick my AH from rehab. I am such a ball of stress, I do not know what to do, where to go, how to act. I have seen him twice since he went in. I like the guy I have talked to. I just don't know him and I don't trust ANY of it. Logically, in my head I t...
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CharlieDog
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4
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748
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I am New to Al-anon and could really use some help
(Preview)
Well, I am new to Al-Anon and brand new to this site. I just stumbled upon it. I could really use some advice/help. My first Al-anon meeting was Thursday, March 11. I felt invincible after the meeting. I loved it. I felt a bit sad when I got home and couldn't share any of what I learned with my husband....
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rachweb
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11
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928
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New Here and God, do I need help
(Preview)
My boyfriend of 1 year is an alcoholic. A month ago he called me and said "I think we need to take a break, I need to work on myself" Up to this point his drinking went from drinking on weekends to drinking every night. So I gave him his space, thinking maybe he was going to get help. But now I find ou...
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Hurt Nurse
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11
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853
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haaaate myself
(Preview)
my AH moved out and i immediately took up with someone else. another A. it was all physical at first. i thought i deserved it, i thought i could handle it and keep my emotions out of it. but then i stopped going to al anon, and i fell head over heels for this guy. he was great at first. of course. but the p...
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xter
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14
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1216
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tough morning
(Preview)
ex ABF showed up to a work event with his pregnant wife last night and i feel so low because of it. my apartment is a mess and i have no time to clean until tomorrow after my meeting and i feel so guilty about it. there's so much to do at the office, i'm overwhelmed. i was crying this morning already and i'm reac...
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xter
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7
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568
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Stinky thoughts on replay in my head
(Preview)
Hey Gang, Been a long time since I have been able to get here. HALT ... I am not hungry or angry, I am lonely and tired. Full time work, 3/4 time school and that leaves enough time to sleep and play with the moostiff. My apologies for not being here to give back as much as I have recieved. It re-entered my head t...
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Jennifer
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4
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722
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Crazy Making
(Preview)
My AH and I have been separated for the last year, he just recently spent 30 days in rehab after totalling his car on Valentines. About 2 weeks ago I learned that he had been having a year long affair with a former student of his who is all of 22 now (he is twice that age). My son and I visited him in treatment a...
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farmgirlmay
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9
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1665
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Struggling lately with missing the A and maybe the chaos with it
(Preview)
The past week I've been struggling with missing the ex AH. This surprises me in a way because there was quite awhile that I felt ok with him being gone. However.....this time last year, he was sober and things were pretty good. He had been sober from the fall on (2008) after being hospitalized for bi...
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sdisnie
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4
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1227
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New & Possibly Unwise to Ignore ABF request by being here?
(Preview)
Hi I'm new here. And new to Al-Anon. Actually, I've never even been to a meeting. I am in a committed relationship with an alcoholic. When we met, he had completed a full year in-house recovery program. Last June he started drinking occasionally and now is full blown drunk most of the time. Befor...
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Love Always Hopes
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11
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911
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Starting Again
(Preview)
I have been away from Alaon for whatever reason, work, family, no time, I thought I could handle it myself. etc..I have been reading all the lit on Alaon with some great results for myself. I am starting back with my f to f meeting on Wed. I am going thru a bad time with my A as I really think he has reached ro...
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weggie
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4
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749
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Newbie wondering if there is "too much water under the bridge"
(Preview)
Long (10 year relationship) story in a shortened version... We met and I fell head over heels for his passion, anger and screw you attitude. We partied A LOT. Our relationship was tumultous from the start. Lots of fighting that accompained the drinking. He asked me to marry him. While planning the...
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maybethistime
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10
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2887
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Situation with my brother
(Preview)
Dear All, When I first started my posts almost four years ago, I had come out of a terrible dilemma with one of my brothers. He had taken me for a complete rid for about 7 months and I was very upset when we fell out. However, it forced me to address issues that I had with my family situation and my life improve...
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maire rua
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5
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785
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Just Insights
(Preview)
Just some thoughts, now that I have reached the ripe young age of 64 its kind of freeing. Looking back over my life, I took some turns that I would like to do over, but glad Im where I am at and have few regrets. Im divorced from the xah that I was married too for 26 years and would you believe I even managed to...
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Bettina
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5
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716
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Feeling Angry
(Preview)
Hi all, I am needing to vent. Things have been going very well for me. I have been focusing on me and taking care of me as never before. It has been a while since I have allowed myself to obsess about somthing that I have almost forgot what the hampster wheel sounded like, but the hampster is back and he is spi...
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Mandy123
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6
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768
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I went to my first Al Anon meeting
(Preview)
I must say what an eye opener it was for me. I wish I would have been going through out the entire relationship. But now I know I can start working on healing myself even if he isn't going to get help for himself.
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Hurt Nurse
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9
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609
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stuck, angry, question about housing
(Preview)
Hi- I am just...lost, My Afiance has been dry for 2 months now and this is like a rollercoaster ride! I can't help but have so much anger and try to keep things in when the kids are around. I just don't know how to NOT be angry. I am trying to be happy around him, but it just crumbles-every little thing sets hi...
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lindseymommyof2
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3
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886
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