Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

doublesmommy · doublesmommy

I havent been here in awhile, but I wanted to share the following, cause even though we are divorced I suppose this still affects me and the kids. On February 4, 2010 my X moved back to the small island he was raised on, this after he was arrested and had his license suspended at the end of January for a DUI, a...

Destynee · Destynee

I hit him twice. One was a punch in the face. I'm so incredibly guilty and sick over it. I've been beating myself up since. He disappeared again on Thursday and didn't come back or call. Called Saturday and left me a suicide message again. This is 3 times now. When I didn't respond, he went to the ER...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Everyone has told me over and over my kids will benefit from this split with the A and myself. I have told them that i hid it so well from my kids, my A didn't drink at home...he would disappear and be gone for long periods of time. My kids would think he was working out of town. Everyone says...including...

LynW · LynW

I haven't slept in days....all I do is cry...looking for some peace and inspiration. I have an adult son, a police officer, who is an alcoholic. He was careful...never drank on a day when he was working, but when he was off duty, he drank much more than I realized. A few days into 2010, he had a seizure on...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... yesterday I Finally got to spend some Much needed time with my Sponser, we hung out & chatted for hours on end ;) it is amazing how after speaking I can feel so much better... She has been helping me work on some issues that I am attemping to come to terms with... I never realized how much I make m...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I am desperately hoping someone can guide me in the right direction and offer some kind of advice because right now I am feeling so lost and alone. Father in law is an alcoholic. My husband or sister in law doesn't know what to do now. My husband and I have opened our home up to him twice in the past even when w...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It kind of makes me feel better to not deal with him...to speak to him, to not look at him, to not be anywhere near him. When I see a text or an email come through I absolutely cringe. I can't deal with anything that he's doing or how he's living his life right now, so completely shutting myself off from it...

weggie · weggie

I came home from work yesterday to a empty house, I knew my A was out drinking again. I went about my business, took shower, read a lilttle, pray, watched dancing with the stars....My A calls me 4 times on the phone and I did not pick up. I am thinking he is drunk and the bar is calling me to pick him up or he is...

chezza · chezza

Hi people. I thought I would share my new awareness with you guys. I read this reading the other night in Hope For Today page 17 as I become overwhelmed with my struggle to detach from family with it being easter weekend. To give a little bit of insight I was feeling lonely due to not spending time with my n...

Maria123 · Maria123

Happy Birthday (((Kerry))), May your day be just as beautiful as you Hope you and your little ones have a wonderful day together to celebrate your :birthday: Enjoy love in recovery, Maria

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Finally I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself .I gathered up my courage and prayed I could hold it together.I went to speak to lawyer about my situation and he advised me to get out that very day .He said he was worried for my safety and my children.He asked me to contact my parents for...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hello! I always get such good advice, wisdom and a feeling of peace on these boards that I wanted to share something that has been bothering me involving my Abf-sober's ex-gf. Recently I have been posting alot about both my and my bf working our programs, treating each other gently, communicating...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I may be a bit giddy at 1AM after 12 hours of homework but hearing the TV playing a late night movie, Dukes of Hazard. When all of a sudden clear as a bell I heard the line of the narrator say, "When you're flying by the seat of your pants nothing sounds more official than a Plan B" and had flashback...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

My A fiance just walked out on me about an hour or so ago. I don't know where he is, if he's coming back, or what to do at this point. I did try and call him about a million times to find out if he's coming back. I don't like to be left in the air like this let alone sad and hurt. We had a disagreement and he just l...

mon123 · mon123

Hi , I thought I might introduce myself again. I'm English so I have found it hard to join in with the chat room meetings. The times are terrible for me. I used to use the chat room a lot when my husband was drinking. Ranting in the middle of the night to people who understood really helped me sleep and move in...

ayjay · ayjay

I am on a rollercoaster of emotions, after a rollercoaster relationship with my ex who is in NA and AA and been clean for 7 years almost. I have mentioned im pregnant and due in around 9 weeks to give birth. So hormones and the prospect of being alone when im quite vulnerable adds to my stress. I have thi...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Finally have Internet set up in my new apartment. Most of you know I moved out of the house with my ex-abf - bf? I don't even know what is going on between us now... While I have MOVED out - I have not MOVED on. I am terrified to ask for space. Terrified of losing him forever - OR of him meeting someone else. Ther...

victoria · victoria

I don't know why I think I have to find a place for my A ex-husband to go to when I keep my promise that he must leave when he starts drinking again. (we're together in my house). The house use to be ours but due to his legal issues, the house was put in my name. He started drinking yesterday and I want him out. He...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), A very Happy Easter to all of you. The has risen and it is truely a glorious Sunday. Enjoy the day and all that it has to offer. Enjoy the promise of a new day and new beginnings. Hope springs eternal. I hope the Easter Bunny and Easter Beagle (remember Charilie Brown?) is extra g...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I guess I should have said that its an inner child book not an acoa book...sorry for the confusion.

kerry5 · kerry5

Can not chair tonights meeting would appreciate another op to chair Thanks kERry

Diva · Diva

So he left...What else is new? He has left and I have taken him back so many times, my door is coming off the hinges. This time I have made it clear to him that I do not want him back. Oh, I see some lonely days and nights ahead, but all in all, I have my life back and I feel good about my future. We had a trip to Ha...

pineapple · pineapple

The good news is AH has been not drinking for about 6 weeks now. The bad news is he would still be driving me crazy if I let it get to me. I guess he is in that stage that I've heard called ¨stark raving sober¨. He has tons of energy, a million different projects started, is critical of things I've done or decis...

Gailey · Gailey

I will not ask my A son anything that will give him the opportunity to lie....especially if I already know the answer.

Katy · Katy

Two equal quantities of generosity and thought for others, add a few dozen pleasant smiles, followed by the same number of kind words. Sprinkle freely with fun and merriment, flavour with wit and humour and mix thoroughly with the spirit of love. Warm with bright looks and serve often. Katyx

Jennifer · Jennifer

They're sitting on mine right now. Another letter came in the mail today. And I quote, "I know you asked for no contact but I just can't do it." "I think I know I screwed up, but come on ..." "you are my only friend" I am the least violent person in the world but I swear right...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have found myself dealing with a lot of other people's junk lately and one day something (probably my HP) said "get busy". So long story short I am starting a new Al-Anon group today at noon. My area has not had a daytime meeting for as far back as I can remember. I've gotten a lot of positive...

ayjay · ayjay

HI I am new to al-anon, but have been considering joining for around 12 years, when I first read the book 'women who love too much'. I went to my first meeting 3 weeks ago and plan to attend regular after some time reflecting. I wasn't sure if it could help me, I am not here because im pregnant to a guy in NA, a...

Courage · Courage

Agenda Open with Serenity Prayer Review of OP Meeting Chair Schedule Old Business none at present New Business election of Business Meeting Chair election of Business Meeting Secretary Closing with Al-Anon Declaration -- Edited by Courage on Saturday 3rd of April 2010 09:23:37 PM

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I went away from our house for a week for a funeral and a business trip. When I got back, I swear, the house smells like beer breath. That alcoholic smell. You know the one. It makes me sick. So what am I doing? NOT going to sit here smelling it and freaking out silently, hating my AH more with every passing...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

Okay so this is getting a little on the personal side and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone... Is it unreasonable of me to refuse sex to my A when he is drunk? He is acting like I'm the most unreasonable callous person on the planet and I just tried to nicely explain that I'm not interested in intima...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

A while ago someone told me the name of an ACOA book that I could read online. I thought I put it in my favorites but it's gone. Anyway, I would appreciate any help. Thanks

miss lucy · miss lucy

hello again. sorry its been a while. i have been heavily into my studying. am pleased to report that i have passed two of my six tests and am shortly to take number three. my business plan is slowly coming together and i have now got a car so i am completely independant. life should be so good now but i a...

KRS · KRS

My daughter A was sober for 60 days going to meetings everyday had a caring sponsor and I thought we were well on our way to sobriety.....until her court hearing. Since her BA level was .404 she was charged with a super extreme dui with a minimum jail sentence of 6 months. We got home and she immediately...

babysteps · babysteps

Saw my AH-separated on Wed night. My daughter and I had dinner with him, then she went with him for the weekend. The atmosphere at dinner was very amiable, so yesterday I sent him an email suggesting he withdraw his court filing, and we sit down to discuss what will truly be best for all involved regardin...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My STB ex-AH called yesterday afternoon and what did I do?? Oh no, I didn't hit reject or just ignore the call, yes, I answered it!! Why?? I have NO idea. Maybe I wanted to see what the fisherman was up to this time or I was feeling lonley, abandoned, afraid and whatever contact I could have was better...

Jerry F · Jerry F

When he/she (alcoholic) is in recovery and attending to their own growth and I am not. This is something China woke me up to; an experience I use to witness in the past (Don't focus on it now) and have seen happen in the area I got into recovery. The alcoholic got sober and grew, often very well, in recove...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I have been in a yo-yo relationship with an alcoholic for a year and 1/2. He is an amazing man when sober. He is a successful builder, intelligent, passionate, caring, romantic, is always thinking of me, treats me like a princess and rocks my world. When he drinks... he becomes insecure and child...

Jennifer · Jennifer

and I am an addict addict. Otherwise known as an professional enabler, and codependent. I once thought I was as powerful as a savior, ready to take on the world of addictions, though not my own, caffeine is my friend ... just my A's or any of the A's in my life. I was a sounding board, knightess in tarnishe...

babysteps · babysteps

Out of the blue my AH-separated filed for custody of our daughter, alimony and child support. He moved out 15 months ago to a town 4 hours away. Our daughter visits him as often as practical given the distance. I have been her primary caretaker since birth and she has lived with me since he left. I talked t...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Things have been going pretty well lately. Abf-sober has been making meetings, as have I. Working steps, trying to break old patterns and though there has been a bump or two along the way the last month or more, for the most part it's been a pretty "normal" time. Then yesterday happened. ...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

I have lost track of how many serious talks my A and I have had where he tells me his plan to stop drinking. I ask him what will be different this time and there is always some way that he appeals to the hope in me and I am happy and relieved and grateful and totally behind him - I'll plan the evenings so there's...

China · China

Hi, it has been a while since my last post. I finally moved out and doing very well. This summer is going to be two years. My Ex-A is been sober for a little more than a year. It looks like everything is going well. But it is me. I don't want to go back to him even though he is showing a great effort in keeping u...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My soon to be ex-AH is still sending the hooks and i'm still a fish swimming in that pond!! Today was his payday so I sent an e-mail asking about money for myself and the kids. His response was he could spare $100 (after he has payed for all his own expenses) and that he "hoped" i understood he c...

Acatnip · Acatnip

Last night as I am trying to fall asleep, my Ah calls me to let me know he is home. And he is furious. He was told while in rehab that I had moved out. He was very angry that I had taken all my clothes, not just a few to tide me over. Then he procedes with the guilt trip on how horrible rehab was and how he was doing it...

weggie · weggie

Well, I was wondering when this would happen. My A woke up this am and didn't remember anything about last night. He begged me to stay with him as I am leaving for church. I said no and left....Please God fixed this problem, as he and I are hurting.

Rose · Rose

I am really feeling broken today and wondering "Can you really ever have a happy marriage with your A"? Right now I have such a hate for him and how much he has hurt me over the years, I just can't see any type of relationship with him. I was looking back yesterday at when I first joined MIP and I ca...

John · John

The Al-Anon Message Board Decision Meeting Mailing list, which you can sign up to recieve is located at the top of this message board page. The purpose of this mailing list is so that those who want to be informed of our decision meeting schedule, whats on the agenda for those meetings and the results o...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

It looks as though by the end of June I will be divorced from my AH; we've been married for 36 years. We have been separated since his last DUI in Nov. 2009. I'm so ready to be legally detached from him, even though I'm concerned that he might drink and drive again, resulting in a fatality. Being legal...

shannah · shannah

Hi, I am so drained after a six month relationship with an alcoholic that I missed my first al anon meeting I had intended to go to. I have never dealt with an alcoholic before so my question my sound really naive to those of you who have the experience. My boyfriend would call me in his after bar hours, waki...

Acatnip · Acatnip

AH has been estranged from his children and family for years, for which it was explained to me because of his drinking and controlling manner. I reached out to his only remianing son that would speak to him when AH began his binging and first suicide attempt. I sought out some help from him and to make him...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

Take a deep breath Feels like your choking Everything is broken.. Bob Dylan These are a few lines from one of my favorite Dylan songs, it expresses exactly how I feel at this moment. I feel so low, I know I shouldn't be disappointed when my A son does what comes n...

John · John

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.A loss of interest in judging other people.A loss of interest in judging self.A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.A loss of interest in confli...

moonchild · moonchild

Hi Everyone, Just wanted to touch base with all about Ason. He is out of hosiptal and now in a 6 month program with the Salvation Army... He is very excited to start a new life. A sober life. I told him one day at a time. I let go and let HP take control .... Now I can sleep knowing that my son is in a safe place. T...

maresie · maresie

This last weekend someone I don't really know went off on me. In the past I would have spent a lot of time wondering why someone did that. Now that I have boundaries I have a good idea when to pull the plug. I also would have really personalized the attack. I don't do that anymore. I spent years in purga...

Rodney2009 · Rodney2009

I finelly made it thanks to my sponsor and the program and my home Group

Rodney2009 · Rodney2009

sorry all for the confusions I just been so angry and up set here and I guess I should of signed up for the AA room. Anyhow I will shut up for now Rodney I hope to come back. I had suicidal ideas last night and said this on face book as well.thanks to a reletive who called me talked me out of this.

DreamXL · DreamXL

Those were words I heard from alot of people in my life. The problem with that was that if it were true I was in serious trouble. I reached a point where I was just not willing to take that as truth. I knew something was very wrong with my attraction, misplaced loyalty, and downright broken heartedness...

maresie · maresie

I think the biggest change for me in recent years is not only the boundary issue. What I have stopped doing is thinking any alcoholic can understand me, meet my emotional needs or have empathy for me. I've spent decades trying to convert alcoholics and trying to squeeze out something from active alc...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

This is my first week of exploring this website or even really learning what al-anon is all about. There are two themes I'm hearing that I have questions about. Hopefully, you will understand that I am not trying to argue but really just want to answer the honest question that pops up in my heart... 1...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	He finally hit rock bottom literally (Preview) I havent been here in awhile, but I wanted to share the following, cause even though we are divorced I suppose this still affects me and the kids. On February 4, 2010 my X moved back to the small island he was raised on, this after he was arrested and had his license suspended at the end of January for a DUI, a...	doublesmommy	13	847	Apr 8, 2010 by doublesmommy
	I hit my AH today. (Preview) I hit him twice. One was a punch in the face. I'm so incredibly guilty and sick over it. I've been beating myself up since. He disappeared again on Thursday and didn't come back or call. Called Saturday and left me a suicide message again. This is 3 times now. When I didn't respond, he went to the ER...	Destynee	12	782	Apr 8, 2010 by evaangel
	My kids were clueless to the problem (Preview) Everyone has told me over and over my kids will benefit from this split with the A and myself. I have told them that i hid it so well from my kids, my A didn't drink at home...he would disappear and be gone for long periods of time. My kids would think he was working out of town. Everyone says...including...	sdisnie	6	914	Apr 7, 2010 by mon123
	I am Lyn... I am new to all this and really hurting right now (Preview) I haven't slept in days....all I do is cry...looking for some peace and inspiration. I have an adult son, a police officer, who is an alcoholic. He was careful...never drank on a day when he was working, but when he was off duty, he drank much more than I realized. A few days into 2010, he had a seizure on...	LynW	13	1339	Apr 7, 2010 by Ness
	Still Learning... Still Growing :) (Preview) Welp... yesterday I Finally got to spend some Much needed time with my Sponser, we hung out & chatted for hours on end ;) it is amazing how after speaking I can feel so much better... She has been helping me work on some issues that I am attemping to come to terms with... I never realized how much I make m...	Jozie	1	751	Apr 7, 2010 by hotrod
	needing someone to" listen ", please (Preview) I am desperately hoping someone can guide me in the right direction and offer some kind of advice because right now I am feeling so lost and alone. Father in law is an alcoholic. My husband or sister in law doesn't know what to do now. My husband and I have opened our home up to him twice in the past even when w...	beacheemom	7	748	Apr 6, 2010 by Mattie
	Is it healthy or not healthy to just flat out not communicate with the ex-AH (Preview) It kind of makes me feel better to not deal with him...to speak to him, to not look at him, to not be anywhere near him. When I see a text or an email come through I absolutely cringe. I can't deal with anything that he's doing or how he's living his life right now, so completely shutting myself off from it...	sdisnie	2	831	Apr 6, 2010 by Melissa21
	Morning After Again...... (Preview) I came home from work yesterday to a empty house, I knew my A was out drinking again. I went about my business, took shower, read a lilttle, pray, watched dancing with the stars....My A calls me 4 times on the phone and I did not pick up. I am thinking he is drunk and the bar is calling me to pick him up or he is...	weggie	6	888	Apr 6, 2010 by Jerry F
	Letting go (new personal recovery awareness) (Preview) Hi people. I thought I would share my new awareness with you guys. I read this reading the other night in Hope For Today page 17 as I become overwhelmed with my struggle to detach from family with it being easter weekend. To give a little bit of insight I was feeling lonely due to not spending time with my n...	chezza	4	1164	Apr 6, 2010 by kitty
	Today's Birthday Gal - Kerry5 (Preview) Happy Birthday (((Kerry))), May your day be just as beautiful as you Hope you and your little ones have a wonderful day together to celebrate your :birthday: Enjoy love in recovery, Maria	Maria123	8	809	Apr 6, 2010 by Christy
	trying to break free (Preview) Finally I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself .I gathered up my courage and prayed I could hold it together.I went to speak to lawyer about my situation and he advised me to get out that very day .He said he was worried for my safety and my children.He asked me to contact my parents for...	cassidy2010	5	831	Apr 5, 2010 by Jerry F
	Hoping for some insight...ESH...sanity? (Preview) Hello! I always get such good advice, wisdom and a feeling of peace on these boards that I wanted to share something that has been bothering me involving my Abf-sober's ex-gf. Recently I have been posting alot about both my and my bf working our programs, treating each other gently, communicating...	lizzakiss	4	854	Apr 5, 2010 by Jerry F
	Something I found funny (Preview) I may be a bit giddy at 1AM after 12 hours of homework but hearing the TV playing a late night movie, Dukes of Hazard. When all of a sudden clear as a bell I heard the line of the narrator say, "When you're flying by the seat of your pants nothing sounds more official than a Plan B" and had flashback...	Jennifer	1	601	Apr 5, 2010 by kitty
	Desperately need ESH (Preview) My A fiance just walked out on me about an hour or so ago. I don't know where he is, if he's coming back, or what to do at this point. I did try and call him about a million times to find out if he's coming back. I don't like to be left in the air like this let alone sad and hurt. We had a disagreement and he just l...	Ragdolls	12	1019	Apr 5, 2010 by maresie
	Hi, returning to the forum ...again (Preview) Hi , I thought I might introduce myself again. I'm English so I have found it hard to join in with the chat room meetings. The times are terrible for me. I used to use the chat room a lot when my husband was drinking. Ranting in the middle of the night to people who understood really helped me sleep and move in...	mon123	5	784	Apr 5, 2010 by mon123
	I think im starting to be touched by the hp (Preview) I am on a rollercoaster of emotions, after a rollercoaster relationship with my ex who is in NA and AA and been clean for 7 years almost. I have mentioned im pregnant and due in around 9 weeks to give birth. So hormones and the prospect of being alone when im quite vulnerable adds to my stress. I have thi...	ayjay	4	812	Apr 5, 2010 by ayjay
	Moved out, but haven't moved on... (Preview) Finally have Internet set up in my new apartment. Most of you know I moved out of the house with my ex-abf - bf? I don't even know what is going on between us now... While I have MOVED out - I have not MOVED on. I am terrified to ask for space. Terrified of losing him forever - OR of him meeting someone else. Ther...	RunnerChick	12	1077	Apr 4, 2010 by speck31
	Is this insane?! (Preview) I don't know why I think I have to find a place for my A ex-husband to go to when I keep my promise that he must leave when he starts drinking again. (we're together in my house). The house use to be ours but due to his legal issues, the house was put in my name. He started drinking yesterday and I want him out. He...	victoria	7	1125	Apr 4, 2010 by victoria
	Happy Easter! (Preview) ((((((Family))))), A very Happy Easter to all of you. The has risen and it is truely a glorious Sunday. Enjoy the day and all that it has to offer. Enjoy the promise of a new day and new beginnings. Hope springs eternal. I hope the Easter Bunny and Easter Beagle (remember Charilie Brown?) is extra g...	Karilynn	3	596	Apr 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	clarification to looking for a book (Preview) I guess I should have said that its an inner child book not an acoa book...sorry for the confusion.	seekingserenity	1	609	Apr 4, 2010 by kerry5
	Need Op to chair tonights meeting (Preview) Can not chair tonights meeting would appreciate another op to chair Thanks kERry	kerry5	0	570	Apr 4, 2010 by kerry5
	Hawaii calls...even without him... (Preview) So he left...What else is new? He has left and I have taken him back so many times, my door is coming off the hinges. This time I have made it clear to him that I do not want him back. Oh, I see some lonely days and nights ahead, but all in all, I have my life back and I feel good about my future. We had a trip to Ha...	Diva	15	1055	Apr 4, 2010 by Karilynn
	progress report (Preview) The good news is AH has been not drinking for about 6 weeks now. The bad news is he would still be driving me crazy if I let it get to me. I guess he is in that stage that I've heard called ¨stark raving sober¨. He has tons of energy, a million different projects started, is critical of things I've done or decis...	pineapple	7	1154	Apr 3, 2010 by hotrod
	Just for today.......... (Preview) I will not ask my A son anything that will give him the opportunity to lie....especially if I already know the answer.	Gailey	6	947	Apr 3, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	recipe:- HAPPINESS PUDDING! (Preview) Two equal quantities of generosity and thought for others, add a few dozen pleasant smiles, followed by the same number of kind words. Sprinkle freely with fun and merriment, flavour with wit and humour and mix thoroughly with the spirit of love. Warm with bright looks and serve often. Katyx	Katy	5	777	Apr 3, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Know that image of the angel on one shoulder devil on the other (Preview) They're sitting on mine right now. Another letter came in the mail today. And I quote, "I know you asked for no contact but I just can't do it." "I think I know I screwed up, but come on ..." "you are my only friend" I am the least violent person in the world but I swear right...	Jennifer	7	1103	Apr 3, 2010 by lacewing
	Starting a new group wish me luck (Preview) I have found myself dealing with a lot of other people's junk lately and one day something (probably my HP) said "get busy". So long story short I am starting a new Al-Anon group today at noon. My area has not had a daytime meeting for as far back as I can remember. I've gotten a lot of positive...	Mobirdie	8	694	Apr 3, 2010 by blender_girl
	Women who love too much (Preview) HI I am new to al-anon, but have been considering joining for around 12 years, when I first read the book 'women who love too much'. I went to my first meeting 3 weeks ago and plan to attend regular after some time reflecting. I wasn't sure if it could help me, I am not here because im pregnant to a guy in NA, a...	ayjay	8	1995	Apr 3, 2010 by blender_girl
	April Business Meeting Agenda (4/11/10) (Preview) Agenda Open with Serenity Prayer Review of OP Meeting Chair Schedule Old Business none at present New Business election of Business Meeting Chair election of Business Meeting Secretary Closing with Al-Anon Declaration -- Edited by Courage on Saturday 3rd of April 2010 09:23:37 PM	Courage	0	484	Apr 3, 2010 by Courage
	Smell (Preview) So I went away from our house for a week for a funeral and a business trip. When I got back, I swear, the house smells like beer breath. That alcoholic smell. You know the one. It makes me sick. So what am I doing? NOT going to sit here smelling it and freaking out silently, hating my AH more with every passing...	intothewoods	4	795	Apr 2, 2010 by N8SMOM
	Am I being Unreasonable? (Preview) Okay so this is getting a little on the personal side and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone... Is it unreasonable of me to refuse sex to my A when he is drunk? He is acting like I'm the most unreasonable callous person on the planet and I just tried to nicely explain that I'm not interested in intima...	Love Always Hopes	26	1345	Apr 2, 2010 by Jennifer
	looking for the name of a book (Preview) A while ago someone told me the name of an ACOA book that I could read online. I thought I put it in my favorites but it's gone. Anyway, I would appreciate any help. Thanks	seekingserenity	2	705	Apr 2, 2010 by DreamXL
	freedom is the strangest feeling (Preview) hello again. sorry its been a while. i have been heavily into my studying. am pleased to report that i have passed two of my six tests and am shortly to take number three. my business plan is slowly coming together and i have now got a car so i am completely independant. life should be so good now but i a...	miss lucy	7	932	Apr 2, 2010 by Mattie
	Feeling held hostage (Preview) My daughter A was sober for 60 days going to meetings everyday had a caring sponsor and I thought we were well on our way to sobriety.....until her court hearing. Since her BA level was .404 she was charged with a super extreme dui with a minimum jail sentence of 6 months. We got home and she immediately...	KRS	4	930	Apr 2, 2010 by Gypsy Crow Woman
	Update (Preview) Saw my AH-separated on Wed night. My daughter and I had dinner with him, then she went with him for the weekend. The atmosphere at dinner was very amiable, so yesterday I sent him an email suggesting he withdraw his court filing, and we sit down to discuss what will truly be best for all involved regardin...	babysteps	2	715	Apr 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	Hooks......I think I swallowed it this time!! UGH!! (Preview) My STB ex-AH called yesterday afternoon and what did I do?? Oh no, I didn't hit reject or just ignore the call, yes, I answered it!! Why?? I have NO idea. Maybe I wanted to see what the fisherman was up to this time or I was feeling lonley, abandoned, afraid and whatever contact I could have was better...	farmgirlmay	4	915	Apr 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	What might happen... (Preview) When he/she (alcoholic) is in recovery and attending to their own growth and I am not. This is something China woke me up to; an experience I use to witness in the past (Don't focus on it now) and have seen happen in the area I got into recovery. The alcoholic got sober and grew, often very well, in recove...	Jerry F	10	789	Apr 2, 2010 by Tracy
	broken hearted (Preview) I have been in a yo-yo relationship with an alcoholic for a year and 1/2. He is an amazing man when sober. He is a successful builder, intelligent, passionate, caring, romantic, is always thinking of me, treats me like a princess and rocks my world. When he drinks... he becomes insecure and child...	daisygirl	5	1282	Apr 2, 2010 by maresie
	Hello, my name is Jennifer (Preview) and I am an addict addict. Otherwise known as an professional enabler, and codependent. I once thought I was as powerful as a savior, ready to take on the world of addictions, though not my own, caffeine is my friend ... just my A's or any of the A's in my life. I was a sounding board, knightess in tarnishe...	Jennifer	7	1169	Apr 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	Seeing AH tonight (Preview) Out of the blue my AH-separated filed for custody of our daughter, alimony and child support. He moved out 15 months ago to a town 4 hours away. Our daughter visits him as often as practical given the distance. I have been her primary caretaker since birth and she has lived with me since he left. I talked t...	babysteps	6	820	Apr 1, 2010 by Acatnip
	Not sure how to feel (Preview) Things have been going pretty well lately. Abf-sober has been making meetings, as have I. Working steps, trying to break old patterns and though there has been a bump or two along the way the last month or more, for the most part it's been a pretty "normal" time. Then yesterday happened. ...	lizzakiss	12	866	Apr 1, 2010 by AGO
	Frustrated disappointment (Preview) I have lost track of how many serious talks my A and I have had where he tells me his plan to stop drinking. I ask him what will be different this time and there is always some way that he appeals to the hope in me and I am happy and relieved and grateful and totally behind him - I'll plan the evenings so there's...	Love Always Hopes	12	805	Apr 1, 2010 by xeno59
	What to do next? (Preview) Hi, it has been a while since my last post. I finally moved out and doing very well. This summer is going to be two years. My Ex-A is been sober for a little more than a year. It looks like everything is going well. But it is me. I don't want to go back to him even though he is showing a great effort in keeping u...	China	6	1071	Apr 1, 2010 by Kiki52
	Hooks... (Preview) My soon to be ex-AH is still sending the hooks and i'm still a fish swimming in that pond!! Today was his payday so I sent an e-mail asking about money for myself and the kids. His response was he could spare $100 (after he has payed for all his own expenses) and that he "hoped" i understood he c...	farmgirlmay	6	835	Apr 1, 2010 by ythannah
	AH Home from Rehab, The Spiral Continues (Preview) Last night as I am trying to fall asleep, my Ah calls me to let me know he is home. And he is furious. He was told while in rehab that I had moved out. He was very angry that I had taken all my clothes, not just a few to tide me over. Then he procedes with the guilt trip on how horrible rehab was and how he was doing it...	Acatnip	8	1047	Apr 1, 2010 by ythannah
	Morning After (Preview) Well, I was wondering when this would happen. My A woke up this am and didn't remember anything about last night. He begged me to stay with him as I am leaving for church. I said no and left....Please God fixed this problem, as he and I are hurting.	weggie	4	627	Apr 1, 2010 by weggie
	Feel so broken (Preview) I am really feeling broken today and wondering "Can you really ever have a happy marriage with your A"? Right now I have such a hate for him and how much he has hurt me over the years, I just can't see any type of relationship with him. I was looking back yesterday at when I first joined MIP and I ca...	Rose	7	833	Apr 1, 2010 by Rose
	Message Board Mailing List (Preview) The Al-Anon Message Board Decision Meeting Mailing list, which you can sign up to recieve is located at the top of this message board page. The purpose of this mailing list is so that those who want to be informed of our decision meeting schedule, whats on the agenda for those meetings and the results o...	John	0	514	Mar 31, 2010 by John
	Soon Legally Unhitched, But Still Emotionally Attached (Preview) It looks as though by the end of June I will be divorced from my AH; we've been married for 36 years. We have been separated since his last DUI in Nov. 2009. I'm so ready to be legally detached from him, even though I'm concerned that he might drink and drive again, resulting in a fatality. Being legal...	GailMichelle	2	976	Mar 31, 2010 by mon123
	Can someone behave totally different under the influence of alcohol (Preview) Hi, I am so drained after a six month relationship with an alcoholic that I missed my first al anon meeting I had intended to go to. I have never dealt with an alcoholic before so my question my sound really naive to those of you who have the experience. My boyfriend would call me in his after bar hours, waki...	shannah	10	1080	Mar 31, 2010 by shannah
	Why do they lie and when does the damage stop? (Preview) AH has been estranged from his children and family for years, for which it was explained to me because of his drinking and controlling manner. I reached out to his only remianing son that would speak to him when AH began his binging and first suicide attempt. I sought out some help from him and to make him...	Acatnip	10	1041	Mar 31, 2010 by kitty
	Everthing Is Broken (Preview) Take a deep breath Feels like your choking Everything is broken.. Bob Dylan These are a few lines from one of my favorite Dylan songs, it expresses exactly how I feel at this moment. I feel so low, I know I shouldn't be disappointed when my A son does what comes n...	DreamsOver	6	894	Mar 31, 2010 by DreamsOver
	Some signs and symptoms of inner peace: (Preview) A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.A loss of interest in judging other people.A loss of interest in judging self.A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.A loss of interest in confli...	John	9	1222	Mar 31, 2010 by kitty
	MY MIRACLE (Preview) Hi Everyone, Just wanted to touch base with all about Ason. He is out of hosiptal and now in a 6 month program with the Salvation Army... He is very excited to start a new life. A sober life. I told him one day at a time. I let go and let HP take control .... Now I can sleep knowing that my son is in a safe place. T...	moonchild	10	783	Mar 31, 2010 by Peggy7
	Progress. (Preview) This last weekend someone I don't really know went off on me. In the past I would have spent a lot of time wondering why someone did that. Now that I have boundaries I have a good idea when to pull the plug. I also would have really personalized the attack. I don't do that anymore. I spent years in purga...	maresie	4	1018	Mar 30, 2010 by maresie
	9 yrs and 3 months sober (Preview) I finelly made it thanks to my sponsor and the program and my home Group	Rodney2009	4	737	Mar 30, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	my messages (Preview) sorry all for the confusions I just been so angry and up set here and I guess I should of signed up for the AA room. Anyhow I will shut up for now Rodney I hope to come back. I had suicidal ideas last night and said this on face book as well.thanks to a reletive who called me talked me out of this.	Rodney2009	5	879	Mar 30, 2010 by xeno59
	We cant help who we fall in love with ???? (Preview) Those were words I heard from alot of people in my life. The problem with that was that if it were true I was in serious trouble. I reached a point where I was just not willing to take that as truth. I knew something was very wrong with my attraction, misplaced loyalty, and downright broken heartedness...	DreamXL	12	733	Mar 30, 2010 by DreamXL
	Change (Preview) I think the biggest change for me in recent years is not only the boundary issue. What I have stopped doing is thinking any alcoholic can understand me, meet my emotional needs or have empathy for me. I've spent decades trying to convert alcoholics and trying to squeeze out something from active alc...	maresie	3	723	Mar 30, 2010 by kitty
	Questions on what I'm learning here (Preview) This is my first week of exploring this website or even really learning what al-anon is all about. There are two themes I'm hearing that I have questions about. Hopefully, you will understand that I am not trying to argue but really just want to answer the honest question that pops up in my heart... 1...	Love Always Hopes	10	934	Mar 30, 2010 by Love Always Hopes
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.