The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just wanted to say thanks for the replies... I guess I was a little short with my info... I am the major bread winner btw the 2 of us... I make twice a smuch as he does per week... my name is on everything and his is on nothing other than his account. so, what did I learn from you wonderful friends... I feel for me... the best advice is to let it go... if I get a bill paid by him.. lucky me.. If I don't keep my budget and sharpness at a peak and do waht I do... take care of business... if he screws it up.. oh well, it comes wihtt he disease.
Yeah I agree, what I would do is just take care of business and consider anything he gives you extra - something you can use to do fun stuff for yourself.
Doesn't mean that you let up on the boundaries or consequences around his need to be responsible... But in your head you stay in reality and do what needs to be done and don't get emotionally hung up on the fact that he does what he does (or doesn't do).
Fine line to walk . . . but with practice anything is possible.
For me, when I snooped, it felt yucky and what I usually found was heart breaking. Besides, being a babysitter for an adult is a great breeding ground for resentments.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
