Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I've been absent from the board for a little while because my computer moved out with my husband in early February. But I need some help working through my latest heartbreak, so I'm sneaking on my work computer. My AH husband moved out in Feb, after a 18 year relationship because I said NO MORE. This l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all...the Easter Feaster is my home groups (AA) annual tradition breakfast potluck after the meeting. I draws a crowd and part of the crowd is made up of members who haven't seen each other for a while...at least a year. The fallout came this morning as I was talking with one of my friends who at...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH and I have decided to proceed with a divorce. We've been separated for a year as of this weekend and between his continued drinking problem and our financial mess due to his poor business decisions (albeit, decisions that were made with a pickled brain), there were really no other options left. I...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I need help and I know its the right place! I am about to separate from my AH end of June, which is end of school. My daughter doesnt know yet, reason being she needs to write her exams without extra stress, which is fine. My Ah and I have never agreed on parenting rules, him wanting to be her friend, me acting...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone, lap top is broken yet again so I don't have as much access to this site as I usually do. Just wanted to say that I hope you all had a wonderful Easter as mine was very quiet and peaceful. All the best <3 Corgi

sam1609 · sam1609

How do you detach from your kids. They are hurting so much from the chaos that was caused in their lives and are causing even more chaos, because they don't know any better.

willowtree · willowtree

Hello everyone. I have been struggeling somewhat with being organized. I made 2 scheduling mistakes with my kids basketball games today and they missed them both. My husband was very frusterated with me. I do tend to not follow through with things sometimes and I remember that I have been aware t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all my ex ABf started drinking again about 6 weeks ago and is in a really bad place. We had a chat couple of days agao I seperated from him as soon as he picked up I can not live with active drinking. He has been in AA for 3 years and maanged 9 months sober once. I have uped my meetings and just started attenin...

nicoleinrecovery · nicoleinrecovery

Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I think I already know the answer, I've a situation where my daughter and I are not talking agggain, she isn't returning my calls. I spoke to my 7 y.o. granddaughter's father who she lives with, he told me is very excited about coming on spring break, she has been gone since Dec. she is 4-5hrs. driv...

thechee · thechee

I'm getting a little more comfortable and share a bit. The people are SO nice and caring. I'm learning little by little (I know it's a long haul), but I'm motivated. What I'm feeling now is the sadness when I get the 'blocked' phone calls that I know are from him....that he is thinking about me, and unfort...

pickles77 · pickles77

Hi- i went to my first al anon meeting today. it was great! everyone was so nice to me and i felt really welcomed. i was given a newcomers packet and i can't believe how much i've learned already. i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm ready. i look forward to getting to know you guys.

CCM35 · CCM35

My dad committed sucide last year and now I'm taking care of my mother in her late 70's. Mom was always a "functional alcoholic" who drank at lunch but held down a job and just got wasted with dad over the weekends. Last night I seriously thought she had overdosed taking ambein as well as drink...

Pushka · Pushka

Or maybe it's falling down and learning. Nothing changes .. nothing changes. Well, seriously nothing has changed, I'm not here to take his inventory .. with no program of recovery, with no follow through on his part. It is what it is .. I just can't allow the chaos back into our home. I know I deserve...

stacie · stacie

I am new and this is my first post, my son has drank 7 nights a week for the last 7 years and says he doesnt have a problem, he lost his job last year, and seems more than happy to sit round, doing nothing, and letting everyone run round after him, I threw him out of the family home a year ago and he has never forgi...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Have you been there? Just feeling *off* somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you? At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the firs...

glad · glad

I think it's been about six months since my last post. 19 months since my ex alcoholic long term boyfriend and I split 10 months since we officially called it DONE about 3 months since I've been less than miserably depressed and not thinking of either him or how much I wasted with him and one day since I...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am moving forward.. but man, I am emotionally exhausted. All the meditation is starting to wear me out. I don't think I can handle the spiritual overload. I came from no faith so this is all new. My soul if probably happy but my brain hurts. I asked my husband if he was high tonight. Why did I do that? I kn...

Sunshine daydream · Sunshine daydream

Now that I've begun to see it, I see my A's selfishness daily. When I walk in the door I give him a hug and then he stairs at me. "do I get a kiss?". It's like a twisted test of love. Then I notice he never asks "how are YOU?". Even after I told him earlier that I was feeling miserable. Ju...

rehprof · rehprof

Remember the character from Charlie Brown who had the cloud of dirt around him? That's me -- only it isn't dirt, it is negative attitude. I know it's HALT..but I had a meltdown last night...I'm SO tired, and can't keep up with the demands on me. This morning I'm feeling guilty..I don't want to be that per...

michellelong · michellelong

Hello again, well my AH started texting me yesterday morning and calling telling me he was dying.....asking for help. He kept asking to come home but I said that I was not counselor nor a rehad facility and that (I) could not help him. He was coming down off off cocaine and alcohol at this point so he was go...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post from yesterday titled something like 'how many times can your heart break'. I needed perspective, I needed support, and you gave it to me. Last night I went home after work to a quiet, peaceful house with my two sweet baby dogs, and I thought about...

Timid · Timid

This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is...

Bead · Bead

Just got home from my face to face meeting. I finally had the opprotunity and the nerve to ask the person I wanted to be my sponser. I just feel like I've made a huge step in recovery and it feels great. Just wanted to share.

living for me · living for me

I've been married for 13 years and have 3 and 5 year old little girls. My husband is a binge drinker and a pot smoker. He has been in a 12 step program since July 2011 when I found out he drove drunk with our daughters in the car and told him I'd reached the end of my rope. I knew he was going to continue with this b...

nola · nola

Please help me. Been in the program for three months and I can barely hold on. I don't know how to move on. I just keep getting hit with one crisis after another which I have no control over. I doubt Gods plan for me is working. My father is dying and I don't know how much more I can take. I have no one to turn to. M...

rehprof · rehprof

Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

Where to begin. This is my first time here looking for guidance and strength. I grew up with an addict & alcoholic parents. My personal life has been a mess forever. Now in my 40's I'm here trying to fix me, my thinking and behaviors. I've only had 2 serious relationships with men, both were active a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

You'd think that I know by now to NOT set any expectations from my AH. Yet, lately I feel so desperate for attention that I find myself falling into my codie trap all over again. So, for Easter I got him a nice card. I wrote a heartfelt note saying that spring is for renewal and that I was thanking God for g...

Pushka · Pushka

This was something that came up in a discussion I was having today after a meeting. I'm curious to hear what you all think of this .. love as a shield .. How do I get there? Does anyone practice this concept? What does it mean to you? Whatever ESH regarding love as a shield (both for outward to the world a...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I posted a comment just a few minutes ago that was inappropriate. I have no excuse. I deleted the comment and I hope I didn't offend anyone other than the moderator who brought it to my attention.

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so im kind of nervous. It has been over 3 months since I let my crack addict ex-boyfriend go. Heard through the grapevine he could be getting out this Friday. I have slowly growing and working on my happiness and it all was because I put him out of sight and out of mind. I am nervous and I am nervous and anxio...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Another post talks some about being alone on holidays and I wanted to address the issue in a new topic. I have to say, that for the past year I have enjoyed every holiday because I've been able to relax and truly enjoy them, taking them back and making them for me again. No more making it all about him and wha...

nothopeless · nothopeless

i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is livi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know fear is something that is ruling my emotions these days. I sometimes see fear as an inability to trust God, yet I also see it as a means of protection for my soul. As negative an emotion that fear is, I do believe that it has it's place. It's giving me the confidence to believe that things will work...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I'm back home again. I arrived home to a beautiful front yard, flowers in the house and a peaceful environment. I don't know what the future holds but I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I've also complicated the relationship between my AH and my family. My parents have always been where I went whe...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been doing really well and been feeling so strong, my acceptance has been great. Than last night I was lonesome and needed someone to hold me. I went over to my exAH's and it was nice and he was sweet. I however wish I could get my fulfillment some other way by someone else. I have not let anyone else in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I got some of the insurance money that my dad left us. It was a good thing & of course a sad thing. The check even said on the attachment that they were sending comfort or something at the time of our loss. It was quite a big check for me to receive because I haven't had that kind of money to spend...

MaryODAT · MaryODAT

We have good meetings in my area. Their website is nar-anon.org.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling with stress & anxiety so much that I am angry and misunderstanding what people are doing and saying to me! I am forgetful and so tired. I haven't even been doing my regular exercising. I was burning the candle at both ends and finally got sick-physically. I hope I can get back on tr...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I let myself be drawn into the extreme chaos of my AH's detox. I stopped focusing on my recovery. I took back my will and my HP slapped me across the face with it reminding me I need to surrender. I made things worse by being drawn into the control of things I have no control over. No human power will remove my...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up in a home where my parents absolutely felt obligated to attention, drama and whatever crumbs of energy I have. So as a result I've always been prey to others who have a sense of entitlement. In the last year I was approached by someone who used to live next door to me. He dumped his ex girlfriend b...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I'm ready to start my 4th step and am looking around for a sponsor. I've gotten comfortable at one particular weekly meeting, and have just started going to others as I can. I'm not sure how to shop around for a sponsor. I feel hesitant to walk up to a stranger after a meeting and just ask. I know this is...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Please share your opinions on how you feel about this. There's a part of me that wonders if my AH is trying to find ways to drink again and there's a part of me that believes he is just thinking of ways to minimize the frustration of the ignition interlock device. I posted this on another forum and most of...

KDglen · KDglen

Hi all - i've attended a couple of al-anon meetings and find them incredibly helpful. i would probably go nightly if i could! currently, my wife is not supporting my intention to begin attending a late-evening meeting (8:15 start). i could leave the house right around when our youngsters are asleep...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

My father has owned his own painting business for 15 years. With the downturn of the economy he has lost all of his customers. My mother worked with him. So they are both jobless and are being evicted from their trailer. They were only a year away from having the trailer paid for. They've already been thr...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I'm looking at the Al ATeen Meetings in my area, there is a great one nearby and a night I can take my oldest without his younger brother (together at a meeting is a BAD idea, I'll find a separate meeting for middle son Mondays). All kinds of notes. If it says "Al Anon meeting in another room" do...

Sunshine daydream · Sunshine daydream

Hi All, I'm a bit new, so Hi everyone. love the site and find myself coming back every couple of days. I'm engaged to an alcoholic. I've been in denial for 2 years, and interestingly enough, once we got engaged and my life got busy with grad school his drinking picked up significantly. For the past 3 mo...

Pushka · Pushka

My mom is coming to town and I'm very excited, a little nervous and just very excited. We had such a great visit the last time I'm hoping we have a similar experience. The kids are excited. She will be here for 10 days. My hormones are in check woo hoo .. lol .. God is good .. I was a little worried about tha...

michellelong · michellelong

Hi all, It's been awhile but I seem to be in need of some emotional support. The Sunday before Valentines Day my AH went overboard again and took off, this time he came back in the middle of the night in a rage. I was sleeping and was woken by the bedroom light being flicked on and the pillow being yanked from...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I have to write here because any attempt to communicate with my ex is wasted energy and time. He took our kids to counseling appt. Counselor tells him "your kids have an issue with self, they think everything is about them, they don't see the big picture or how they affect others". Ex rel...

srn2 · srn2

My fiancé has been sober for over a year. The last time he drank was when I was gone overnight. Well I had my best friends bachelorette party on Saturday and I return Sunday to a drunk. Of course he becomes extremely angry, blaming everyone but himself saying awful things. It is very ugly. Everything fro...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hi I feel so bad, when I said I would facilitate Tues meetings, I forgot my first Tues of the month obligation:(( Please, anyone jump in and have meeting for me. Thanks and Sincere apologies.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I guess there isn't much to say today. I am doing very well! I have been blessed w/ a somewhat sound mind. I am doing what is that is in front of me. My ah is still sober. He is having a hard time w/ money issues. But then don't we all! He is just so serious about money that sometimes it takes away from the serenit...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I no longer walk around expecting rugs to be pulled out from under me. Most of the time its my "stories" the rest of the time, I see the rug before it happens, if I'm honest with myself. I made myself a priority in the middle of 2010. I began to take care of me. I thought for certain my kids would...

Mattie · Mattie

I've had a week where I've had to set some boundaries with several friends. Two of them have been standing me up when we've agreed to meet. It's not that they're mad or anything, they're just flaky. With another, we get together and then while I'm talking (never while she's talking!), she gets out her...

Laura Baker · Laura Baker

I have plans on leaving this week. My AH is sick with lupus and in denial about his alcoholism. We've been married 35 years and I have been sober and in AA for 7 years. I simply want whats Good, Right and REAL!!! Pray that my decision to turn my will and my life over to God sticks this time.

stephaniej · stephaniej

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, compassion, and prayers. I went back to work today (no bereavement leave at my temp job, and if Mama doesn't make money, we can't pay all our bills), and hung in there for six hours. Arrived home to a mailbox filled with a motion filed by my ex-husband's hor...

Notwaving · Notwaving

Hi what is the best thing to do to help my daughter. She is a functioning alcoholic. Holds down a good job but drinks every day bottle of wine and 4 cans if not more. She every now and then says 'Thats it I'm cutting down / giving up'. If I say anything I get told to mind my own business. I don't want to fall out wi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can I be trusted? these days I feel I can but there were times when I felt I couldn't be trusted at all! I have to deal w/ a lot of situations where I have to keep what I see & hear to myself. I sometimes really don't like this at all. I have to though. In the real world where I live, I have to be trusted. I can't...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How many times can you heart break (Preview) I've been absent from the board for a little while because my computer moved out with my husband in early February. But I need some help working through my latest heartbreak, so I'm sneaking on my work computer. My AH husband moved out in Feb, after a 18 year relationship because I said NO MORE. This l...	Iris lover of dogs	18	749	Apr 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Easter Feaster fallout (Preview) Aloha all...the Easter Feaster is my home groups (AA) annual tradition breakfast potluck after the meeting. I draws a crowd and part of the crowd is made up of members who haven't seen each other for a while...at least a year. The fallout came this morning as I was talking with one of my friends who at...	Jerry F	8	548	Apr 10, 2012 by Aloha
	We're Done- Mixed Feelings Divorce moving forward (Preview) My AH and I have decided to proceed with a divorce. We've been separated for a year as of this weekend and between his continued drinking problem and our financial mess due to his poor business decisions (albeit, decisions that were made with a pickled brain), there were really no other options left. I...	Green Eyes	13	8693	Apr 10, 2012 by Auntyaya
	how to set up boundaries with teenager? (Preview) I need help and I know its the right place! I am about to separate from my AH end of June, which is end of school. My daughter doesnt know yet, reason being she needs to write her exams without extra stress, which is fine. My Ah and I have never agreed on parenting rules, him wanting to be her friend, me acting...	Crazy Frog	12	847	Apr 10, 2012 by sam1609
	Peaceful Easter (Preview) Hey everyone, lap top is broken yet again so I don't have as much access to this site as I usually do. Just wanted to say that I hope you all had a wonderful Easter as mine was very quiet and peaceful. All the best <3 Corgi	Corgi2	4	320	Apr 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	teenagers, drama- detachment (Preview) How do you detach from your kids. They are hurting so much from the chaos that was caused in their lives and are causing even more chaos, because they don't know any better.	sam1609	10	749	Apr 10, 2012 by sam1609
	A pattern of pushing people away (Preview) Hello everyone. I have been struggeling somewhat with being organized. I made 2 scheduling mistakes with my kids basketball games today and they missed them both. My husband was very frusterated with me. I do tend to not follow through with things sometimes and I remember that I have been aware t...	willowtree	7	674	Apr 10, 2012 by abbyal
	tired (Preview) Hi all my ex ABf started drinking again about 6 weeks ago and is in a really bad place. We had a chat couple of days agao I seperated from him as soon as he picked up I can not live with active drinking. He has been in AA for 3 years and maanged 9 months sober once. I have uped my meetings and just started attenin...	Tracy	7	449	Apr 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Final step to recovery. (Preview) Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...	nicoleinrecovery	1	425	Apr 9, 2012 by maryjane
	"Sick and tired of being sick and tired " of A/A daugher's business (Preview) Hi! I think I already know the answer, I've a situation where my daughter and I are not talking agggain, she isn't returning my calls. I spoke to my 7 y.o. granddaughter's father who she lives with, he told me is very excited about coming on spring break, she has been gone since Dec. she is 4-5hrs. driv...	Highlyfavored	2	362	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	3 Al Anon Meetings....yay!!! (Preview) I'm getting a little more comfortable and share a bit. The people are SO nice and caring. I'm learning little by little (I know it's a long haul), but I'm motivated. What I'm feeling now is the sadness when I get the 'blocked' phone calls that I know are from him....that he is thinking about me, and unfort...	thechee	5	323	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	First meeting today! (Preview) Hi- i went to my first al anon meeting today. it was great! everyone was so nice to me and i felt really welcomed. i was given a newcomers packet and i can't believe how much i've learned already. i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm ready. i look forward to getting to know you guys.	pickles77	6	301	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie taking care of mom (Preview) My dad committed sucide last year and now I'm taking care of my mother in her late 70's. Mom was always a "functional alcoholic" who drank at lunch but held down a job and just got wasted with dad over the weekends. Last night I seriously thought she had overdosed taking ambein as well as drink...	CCM35	6	399	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Learning and falling down (Preview) Or maybe it's falling down and learning. Nothing changes .. nothing changes. Well, seriously nothing has changed, I'm not here to take his inventory .. with no program of recovery, with no follow through on his part. It is what it is .. I just can't allow the chaos back into our home. I know I deserve...	Pushka	12	546	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Heartbroken and confused (Preview) I am new and this is my first post, my son has drank 7 nights a week for the last 7 years and says he doesnt have a problem, he lost his job last year, and seems more than happy to sit round, doing nothing, and letting everyone run round after him, I threw him out of the family home a year ago and he has never forgi...	stacie	6	625	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Hard to identify this feeling (Preview) Have you been there? Just feeling off somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you? At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the firs...	Dolly Llama	10	718	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	I need the anger (Preview) I think it's been about six months since my last post. 19 months since my ex alcoholic long term boyfriend and I split 10 months since we officially called it DONE about 3 months since I've been less than miserably depressed and not thinking of either him or how much I wasted with him and one day since I...	glad	6	435	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Overwhelmed (Preview) I am moving forward.. but man, I am emotionally exhausted. All the meditation is starting to wear me out. I don't think I can handle the spiritual overload. I came from no faith so this is all new. My soul if probably happy but my brain hurts. I asked my husband if he was high tonight. Why did I do that? I kn...	Michelle814	11	470	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	The selfishn-ness (Preview) Now that I've begun to see it, I see my A's selfishness daily. When I walk in the door I give him a hug and then he stairs at me. "do I get a kiss?". It's like a twisted test of love. Then I notice he never asks "how are YOU?". Even after I told him earlier that I was feeling miserable. Ju...	Sunshine daydream	11	629	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Channeling "Pig Pen" (Preview) Remember the character from Charlie Brown who had the cloud of dirt around him? That's me -- only it isn't dirt, it is negative attitude. I know it's HALT..but I had a meltdown last night...I'm SO tired, and can't keep up with the demands on me. This morning I'm feeling guilty..I don't want to be that per...	rehprof	4	483	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Husband in detox (Preview) Hello again, well my AH started texting me yesterday morning and calling telling me he was dying.....asking for help. He kept asking to come home but I said that I was not counselor nor a rehad facility and that (I) could not help him. He was coming down off off cocaine and alcohol at this point so he was go...	michellelong	9	854	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Thank you all for your inspiration - I am back on track (Preview) Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post from yesterday titled something like 'how many times can your heart break'. I needed perspective, I needed support, and you gave it to me. Last night I went home after work to a quiet, peaceful house with my two sweet baby dogs, and I thought about...	Iris lover of dogs	2	314	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Husband in rehab (Preview) This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is...	Timid	7	523	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Finally (Preview) Just got home from my face to face meeting. I finally had the opprotunity and the nerve to ask the person I wanted to be my sponser. I just feel like I've made a huge step in recovery and it feels great. Just wanted to share.	Bead	5	314	Apr 9, 2012 by Pushka
	Newbie with Alcoholic Pot Smoking Husband SHM alcoholic pot daughters (Preview) I've been married for 13 years and have 3 and 5 year old little girls. My husband is a binge drinker and a pot smoker. He has been in a 12 step program since July 2011 when I found out he drove drunk with our daughters in the car and told him I'd reached the end of my rope. I knew he was going to continue with this b...	living for me	7	7582	Apr 9, 2012 by living for me
	how to move on (Preview) Please help me. Been in the program for three months and I can barely hold on. I don't know how to move on. I just keep getting hit with one crisis after another which I have no control over. I doubt Gods plan for me is working. My father is dying and I don't know how much more I can take. I have no one to turn to. M...	nola	8	644	Apr 9, 2012 by nmike
	Pig Pen went out last night! (Preview) Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all...	rehprof	6	657	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	No More Catepillar (Preview) Where to begin. This is my first time here looking for guidance and strength. I grew up with an addict & alcoholic parents. My personal life has been a mess forever. Now in my 40's I'm here trying to fix me, my thinking and behaviors. I've only had 2 serious relationships with men, both were active a...	IWannaFly	6	588	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Expectations that lead to resentments, DUH! (Preview) You'd think that I know by now to NOT set any expectations from my AH. Yet, lately I feel so desperate for attention that I find myself falling into my codie trap all over again. So, for Easter I got him a nice card. I wrote a heartfelt note saying that spring is for renewal and that I was thanking God for g...	ilovedogs	6	609	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Love as a shield (Preview) This was something that came up in a discussion I was having today after a meeting. I'm curious to hear what you all think of this .. love as a shield .. How do I get there? Does anyone practice this concept? What does it mean to you? Whatever ESH regarding love as a shield (both for outward to the world a...	Pushka	10	516	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Apology (Preview) I posted a comment just a few minutes ago that was inappropriate. I have no excuse. I deleted the comment and I hope I didn't offend anyone other than the moderator who brought it to my attention.	Wolfie55	1	464	Apr 9, 2012 by hotrod
	He is possibly getting out of jail and I am NERVOUS!! (Preview) so im kind of nervous. It has been over 3 months since I let my crack addict ex-boyfriend go. Heard through the grapevine he could be getting out this Friday. I have slowly growing and working on my happiness and it all was because I put him out of sight and out of mind. I am nervous and I am nervous and anxio...	Julie3310	4	470	Apr 9, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Happy Easter - Holidays Alone (Preview) Another post talks some about being alone on holidays and I wanted to address the issue in a new topic. I have to say, that for the past year I have enjoyed every holiday because I've been able to relax and truly enjoy them, taking them back and making them for me again. No more making it all about him and wha...	likemyheart	9	516	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	detachment (Preview) i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is livi...	nothopeless	2	325	Apr 8, 2012 by Jerry F
	Fear (Preview) I know fear is something that is ruling my emotions these days. I sometimes see fear as an inability to trust God, yet I also see it as a means of protection for my soul. As negative an emotion that fear is, I do believe that it has it's place. It's giving me the confidence to believe that things will work...	ilovedogs	15	2801	Apr 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Sharing (Preview) I'm back home again. I arrived home to a beautiful front yard, flowers in the house and a peaceful environment. I don't know what the future holds but I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I've also complicated the relationship between my AH and my family. My parents have always been where I went whe...	Jackie11	9	543	Apr 8, 2012 by Wolfie55
	My recovery program/acceptance (Preview) I have been doing really well and been feeling so strong, my acceptance has been great. Than last night I was lonesome and needed someone to hold me. I went over to my exAH's and it was nice and he was sweet. I however wish I could get my fulfillment some other way by someone else. I have not let anyone else in...	Breakingfree	7	591	Apr 8, 2012 by Pushka
	bittersweet day! (Preview) Yesterday I got some of the insurance money that my dad left us. It was a good thing & of course a sad thing. The check even said on the attachment that they were sending comfort or something at the time of our loss. It was quite a big check for me to receive because I haven't had that kind of money to spend...	Hoot Nanny	3	332	Apr 7, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Nar-Anon (Preview) We have good meetings in my area. Their website is nar-anon.org.	MaryODAT	0	297	Apr 6, 2012 by MaryODAT
	stress & anxiety! (Preview) I am struggling with stress & anxiety so much that I am angry and misunderstanding what people are doing and saying to me! I am forgetful and so tired. I haven't even been doing my regular exercising. I was burning the candle at both ends and finally got sick-physically. I hope I can get back on tr...	Hoot Nanny	3	1156	Apr 6, 2012 by Bubbles
	My Inventory (Preview) I let myself be drawn into the extreme chaos of my AH's detox. I stopped focusing on my recovery. I took back my will and my HP slapped me across the face with it reminding me I need to surrender. I made things worse by being drawn into the control of things I have no control over. No human power will remove my...	Very Very Tired	12	577	Apr 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Letting go of obligations. (Preview) I grew up in a home where my parents absolutely felt obligated to attention, drama and whatever crumbs of energy I have. So as a result I've always been prey to others who have a sense of entitlement. In the last year I was approached by someone who used to live next door to me. He dumped his ex girlfriend b...	orchidlover	10	625	Apr 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Choosing a sponsor questions (Preview) I'm ready to start my 4th step and am looking around for a sponsor. I've gotten comfortable at one particular weekly meeting, and have just started going to others as I can. I'm not sure how to shop around for a sponsor. I feel hesitant to walk up to a stranger after a meeting and just ask. I know this is...	Dolly Llama	7	682	Apr 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	UGH, lawyers (Preview) Please share your opinions on how you feel about this. There's a part of me that wonders if my AH is trying to find ways to drink again and there's a part of me that believes he is just thinking of ways to minimize the frustration of the ignition interlock device. I posted this on another forum and most of...	ilovedogs	6	544	Apr 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Wife not allowing me attend meeting (Preview) Hi all - i've attended a couple of al-anon meetings and find them incredibly helpful. i would probably go nightly if i could! currently, my wife is not supporting my intention to begin attending a late-evening meeting (8:15 start). i could leave the house right around when our youngsters are asleep...	KDglen	5	800	Apr 5, 2012 by Jennifer
	My alcoholic parents are moving in. (Preview) My father has owned his own painting business for 15 years. With the downturn of the economy he has lost all of his customers. My mother worked with him. So they are both jobless and are being evicted from their trailer. They were only a year away from having the trailer paid for. They've already been thr...	StargazerLily	10	681	Apr 5, 2012 by CCM35
	Al ATeen Meetings - Questions (Preview) I'm looking at the Al ATeen Meetings in my area, there is a great one nearby and a night I can take my oldest without his younger brother (together at a meeting is a BAD idea, I'll find a separate meeting for middle son Mondays). All kinds of notes. If it says "Al Anon meeting in another room" do...	AStrongerMe	4	354	Apr 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Boundaries are working (Preview) Hi All, I'm a bit new, so Hi everyone. love the site and find myself coming back every couple of days. I'm engaged to an alcoholic. I've been in denial for 2 years, and interestingly enough, once we got engaged and my life got busy with grad school his drinking picked up significantly. For the past 3 mo...	Sunshine daydream	6	602	Apr 4, 2012 by Sunshine daydream
	Prayers for a safe trip (Preview) My mom is coming to town and I'm very excited, a little nervous and just very excited. We had such a great visit the last time I'm hoping we have a similar experience. The kids are excited. She will be here for 10 days. My hormones are in check woo hoo .. lol .. God is good .. I was a little worried about tha...	Pushka	8	2398	Apr 4, 2012 by amills4294
	I think I'm doing the right thing (Preview) Hi all, It's been awhile but I seem to be in need of some emotional support. The Sunday before Valentines Day my AH went overboard again and took off, this time he came back in the middle of the night in a rage. I was sleeping and was woken by the bedroom light being flicked on and the pillow being yanked from...	michellelong	9	561	Apr 4, 2012 by Pushka
	Irony (Preview) I have to write here because any attempt to communicate with my ex is wasted energy and time. He took our kids to counseling appt. Counselor tells him "your kids have an issue with self, they think everything is about them, they don't see the big picture or how they affect others". Ex rel...	AStrongerMe	5	527	Apr 4, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Do I stay? (Preview) My fiancé has been sober for over a year. The last time he drank was when I was gone overnight. Well I had my best friends bachelorette party on Saturday and I return Sunday to a drunk. Of course he becomes extremely angry, blaming everyone but himself saying awful things. It is very ugly. Everything fro...	srn2	13	622	Apr 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	Tonights Meeting (Preview) Hi I feel so bad, when I said I would facilitate Tues meetings, I forgot my first Tues of the month obligation:(( Please, anyone jump in and have meeting for me. Thanks and Sincere apologies.	Grace7	0	296	Apr 4, 2012 by Grace7
	I wanna post but what do I say? (Preview) I guess there isn't much to say today. I am doing very well! I have been blessed w/ a somewhat sound mind. I am doing what is that is in front of me. My ah is still sober. He is having a hard time w/ money issues. But then don't we all! He is just so serious about money that sometimes it takes away from the serenit...	Hoot Nanny	2	503	Apr 4, 2012 by Jerry F
	In a good place (Preview) I no longer walk around expecting rugs to be pulled out from under me. Most of the time its my "stories" the rest of the time, I see the rug before it happens, if I'm honest with myself. I made myself a priority in the middle of 2010. I began to take care of me. I thought for certain my kids would...	AStrongerMe	6	424	Apr 4, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Patterns that repeat (Preview) I've had a week where I've had to set some boundaries with several friends. Two of them have been standing me up when we've agreed to meet. It's not that they're mad or anything, they're just flaky. With another, we get together and then while I'm talking (never while she's talking!), she gets out her...	Mattie	8	467	Apr 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	Leaving again... (Preview) I have plans on leaving this week. My AH is sick with lupus and in denial about his alcoholism. We've been married 35 years and I have been sober and in AA for 7 years. I simply want whats Good, Right and REAL!!! Pray that my decision to turn my will and my life over to God sticks this time.	Laura Baker	5	461	Apr 3, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Many thanks to you all (Preview) Thank you all so very much for your kind words, compassion, and prayers. I went back to work today (no bereavement leave at my temp job, and if Mama doesn't make money, we can't pay all our bills), and hung in there for six hours. Arrived home to a mailbox filled with a motion filed by my ex-husband's hor...	stephaniej	5	551	Apr 3, 2012 by Pushka
	What should I do to help daughter ? (Preview) Hi what is the best thing to do to help my daughter. She is a functioning alcoholic. Holds down a good job but drinks every day bottle of wine and 4 cans if not more. She every now and then says 'Thats it I'm cutting down / giving up'. If I say anything I get told to mind my own business. I don't want to fall out wi...	Notwaving	7	489	Apr 3, 2012 by Notwaving
	trust & confidentiality (Preview) Can I be trusted? these days I feel I can but there were times when I felt I couldn't be trusted at all! I have to deal w/ a lot of situations where I have to keep what I see & hear to myself. I sometimes really don't like this at all. I have to though. In the real world where I live, I have to be trusted. I can't...	Hoot Nanny	2	378	Apr 3, 2012 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.