The material presented
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Thank you all so very much for your kind words, compassion, and prayers. I went back to work today (no bereavement leave at my temp job, and if Mama doesn't make money, we can't pay all our bills), and hung in there for six hours. Arrived home to a mailbox filled with a motion filed by my ex-husband's horrible, terrible attorney. He wants me to pay his $4,000 in legal fees. He is also seeking to have sole authority to move our daughters to a different school district. This is after he initially refused to agree to a continuance on our child support dispute last week because he thought I was lying about my mother's condition.
Please give me strength to hand all this over to my HP. Please give me the strength to have faith that this will work out. Please help me remember that my ex's ridiculousness is a reflection on him, and not on me. Because right now, I feel like I am barely hanging on.
Oh I have an ex who played those games. Hugs to you. Attorney fees are in my experience only awarded if one side makes considerably more than the other and they win their argument. Usually that's not the case.
In addition, the courts where I am DETEST making the kids pay for the parents divorce. Moving schools means they lose friends, support systems and change in routine usually. The courts generally see this as a huge deteriment, use the words "unstable" when discussing. They don't like it because kids do worse the more often they have to experience a change as a result of divorce. It's not even a taking sides thing, it's the "what reason could possibly be a good idea to uproot kids going through this".
Hugs to you, these are all attempts he's making in anger. After 5 years of that kind of games, I finally realized 95% of them never worked.
You've been through so much. Bubble bath, turn the phones off, take a break tonight.
(((((Steph))))) been there and done that and never lost anything I wasn't willing to give up in the first place about material things. My kids paid in spades and because of that so did I however they got their Dad without all the trauma, crises and chaos hanging all of him when we had our chances together. I loved "Stronger's" final suggestions. Let it go pick it up when you have to and then let it go again. (((hugs)))
There's nothing you can do today with this situation. I like the whole Easy Does It, pg 67 in (blue book) How Alanon Works .. it really goes into the slogans and what they mean.
For me I know I've been praying that HP (God) will soften my AH's heart regarding me and remember that it's the kids that are so precious and important in all this crap, as well as leading him to help. This guy who is doing what he is doing now .. that's not the man I know and the man I love, I have to let go of the behavior for the kids. They know .. at 8 and 13 they see how much this stuff hurts me and my actions are what speaks louder to them at this point.
I am thinking of you sending love and support. So sorry you are dealing with this as well as the grief of loosing your mom. It's not an easy time for that there is no doubt. At some point way way way down the road the blessing that will come from this will shine through and you will see how instead of being trials will be blessings.
You do have to take care of you and put that first and foremost especially during this time of grief. Everyone needs that time to grieve and time to heal.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
