Husband in rehab - Al-Anon Family Group

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

Husband in rehab

Timid · Newbie

This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is worried to go back to work so now I am panicky about paying bills, and how he will handle it. I know it's his burden not mine but I feel so frightened.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Timid Welcome to Miracle in Progress

I understand your feelings and have been just where you are now. Thank good ness someone recommended that I attend alanon face to face meetings in my community. I would like to suggest that you follow what so many others have done while living with this disease of alcoholism. Look for alanon meetings in the community and attend . Meetings can be found by going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

It is not necessary that you speak It is important to break the isolation caused by this disease. Here you will learn new constructive tools to live your life. You will learn how to focus on yourself, Live one day at a time and how to say what you mean and mean what you say without saying it mean

It was at alanon meetings and here on this Board I finally learned how to live without fear, anger or resentment.

Please keep coming back and sharing here

You are worth it

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Timid))) Hugs to you, and welcome to MIP. I have no specific advice to share because my A has never been to rehab. I'm glad yours has and I hope it's a new beginning for him. As far as being afraid of your own behavior, I CAN relate to that. I invite you to read other posts on this board, there's a lot to be learned from them. I second Betty's recommendation of Al-anon. It's true that living with an alcoholic can make us crazy. But Alanon can give you the tools to find your way back to sanity.Wishing the best to you and your husband. Keep coming back.

Timid · Newbie

I am not usually shy person but I am encouraged when you say I can just listen. I'm intimidated at al anon meetings, I don't know why. I think it's another symptom of this wicked disease.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Again Timid

I agree I too was quiet at meetings. Just showing up and listening helped me. After a while I shared my name and how I felt . It was a gradual process but so very powerful .

I have a sponsee who did not speak at a meeting for over a year. She did listen and learn and is on her way

Just show up and feel the security and warmth of being connected.

You are not alone

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. Listening in early recovery was much more helpful for me than speaking at face to face meetings, until I got to know people. Al-anon has helped me to face nad conquer a lot of my fears. Sending you love and support!

Wolfie55 · Senior Member

Welcome, Timid. i agree with Betty. Get to some meetings.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.