The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I got to see and talk to the man that I married. It was the first time I have seen him in over a year. The alcohol was out of his system after a VERY rough detox. He looked so good and was the same caring person that I remember.
I dropped him off at an inpatient rehab facility last night and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have detached from him to the point that I actually relax and enjoy when he's not around but the person that I dropped off last night, I do miss.
I'm hoping and praying that he learns things that will help him to get better but no matter what, last night was a gift.
-- Edited by WornOutMrsFixIt on Saturday 31st of March 2012 01:15:21 PM
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G Llewellyn
I understand and felt the same way when my H moved out last summer. Even now with 7 months of sobriety I don't want him to live with me, but yet I miss him a lot when I don't see him. Especially when I think about the man he was when I met him 7 years ago. I'm glad you were able to enjoy the good time with him. I spend too much time worrying about the what-was and what-if's and not enough enjoying the good things right in front of me. Sounds like you are doing a very good job working your program. In support, nyc
This is only the first step of many to a program of recovery for him. As you work your own program and as you heal, that's where the real stuff is. When I see my AH and he acts normal or like I used to remember him to be I like it. Then I have to remind myself .. it never matters that someone gets sober here's the real deal, .. they will always and I can't stress this enough always be an addict. That is something I have to accept about my own A and if he chooses recovery he will have to accept that about himself as well. It's no different than cancer in that way .. it's in remission it never goes away really. Then it's on the A to work their program of recovery as we work ours.
I'm so glad you guys have a nice memory to hold on to. None of us can breathe yesterday's air. So every day is a new 24 hours for each of us to tackle whatever our stuff is and to take it one day at a time. I wish much recovery to the two of you. :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
This thread reminds me of the lesson "I love you, I like having you here...and I don't need you." Loving her and loving me at the same time in the same place for the same reasons. ((((hugs)))) I have a marriage like that today...go figure!
(((WOMFI))) I can so relate to this. I haven't seen my beloved partner in ages, instead I get his evil drunk twin. I so miss the man I fell in love with. I'm so happy to hear that your A is in rehab, maybe this will be what it takes for him to turn his life around. Wishing you both all the best. Keep us posted.
I don't know your husband, but in my experience, when I think I see glimpses of the old, normal person I married, it is an act, a lie. He sort of knows what I would like to hear so he says it. But when the actions and the words don't match up, I know it's an act. I'm not saying this is true in your case, it's how I feel about my case. Try not to let him pull your heart strings especially at such an early stage of his recovery. In my experience my husbands disease does all the talking for him. Who he used to be is gone.
I have a marriage like that today...go figure!