Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

willowtree · willowtree

I am getting ready to start the 12 steps and I have some questions for the people who have done the 12 steps. How long did it take you to do all of them? Was there any certain step that was a major turning point for you and why? I would love to hear any experiences you had with the steps since that is what I am o...

mmerc · mmerc

I just found this forum in my soul searching... After 18 years of marriage and living with my husbands multiple addictions (alcohol 26 years ago, gambling, weed) and accompanying bouts of depression, I told him that I want a divorce. We have three teenage children and I don't want them to continue to s...

sober-son · sober-son

Hi all, I am a sober son of a raging life long alcoholic. To keep it short, my dad was raised by a drug addicted, alcoholic party girl with no father (he died early in my dads life). He has been on and off (mostly on) drinking for his entire life and is now 72 years old, cant work, broke, and drinks vodka straig...

Oksie · Oksie

As some of you may remember, my Dad has been in AA since 1979. He has not had a drop of alcohol in that time, and still talks about one day at a time. As you may also remember, he is here visiting with my Mum for three months and living in my unit under my house. Every time they visit I know there will be fights et...

ConcernedSister · ConcernedSister

I don't mean to bother anyone with a long backstory, but I'm a first time poster and not sure where to start. I'm 22 and my older brother (25) is completely tearing my family apart with his drinking. He has thyroid and ADHD problems, but started drinking in 7th grade and then smoking marijuana almost dai...

Pushka · Pushka

So I had to share this .. holy cow I don't think I have laughed this hard with my kids for the LONGEST time. Yesterday we spent the day at an amusement park and it was the best time EVER!! Those were the words of the youngest. We were all tired in a good way and the day just went so fast it was crazy!! As we ge...

Diva · Diva

I have told him to leave again and again. He has no interest in the ownership of the home, and he has no lease, nor does he pay rent, so as I understand FLorida law, he has no legal residency in my house. I have insisted he leave my house so that I can get on with my life. He goes, packs nothing, then returns d...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Well... I finally want to go to a F2F meeting. I mean REALLY want to. Checked online and there are absolutely NONE that will work for me. (time/location/lack of babysitting, etc). Now what?

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

So A went to his 3 hour counseling session as well as his mandatory AA meeting this past week. Things have actually calmed down here. I know he'll never admit it but I think he actually got something out of his meeting. Anyway, I have a question regarding those meetings. I understand the concept abo...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting as I am out of town. Hoping someone will step up and chair for me. Thanks

justme777 · justme777

My A uses our account and spends money that should be spend on bills to drink. I make most of the money because his addiction has affected his ability to make a good living. How do you deal with finances? I am ready to transfered my direct deposit to another account but I have so many automatic bills. Askin...

PittBullLover · PittBullLover

I live in Montana in a small college town. We have 8 meetings total: Monday noon, Tuesday noon, Tuesday evening all womens group, Wednesday noon, wednesday evening, thursday evening, Friday noon and Saturday morning. There are three times as many AA meetings around here. Now, I have a few issues tha...

rehprof · rehprof

Since my exA moved out -- he has a new obsession. Guns. It's almost like a new source of esteem for him, as he has lost everything else.... I unfriended my exA on FB in part because he kept posting all these new guns he has, and not giving me a penny of child support and it made me really angry. So this morning I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Wow, I can't believe that I've been gone a month. My AH has made efforts to be nice on the phone but he doesn't contact me at all other than the 1 phone call a day. He sent flowers and a silly postcard while we were gone. I think he thinks that all will be well when I get home and that I will forget(or overlook...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Having a really hard time today. My husband has been in fine form for the past couple of days. I have not taken him up on the argument for 3 days now but it is so hard to listen to the trash talk about myself and not respond to it. His temper is starting to scare me again and if I defend myself even in the slight...

Pecan · Pecan

I am new to this site and this is my first post. I am a 30 year old, pregnant female with an alcoholic husband. I am having a lot of difficulty dealing with him. Usually I just ignore him until he is sober. Then we talk and he is always "so sorry" and he is going to stop. Today I saw him drinking...

Elizabeth10 · Elizabeth10

The enabling doesn't have to do with my alcoholic but with others around me. I have trouble distinguishing whether I am just being selfish or not wanting to enable. It happens a lot with my best friend who grew up homeless and with two addicted parents. She asks for help with things that she could figure...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I am sitting here reading posts, reading replies on my previous post and my AH is playing video games and drinking beer. I am thinking of going to a meeting tonight, but I am so ANGRY that I am having to do this and he is doing NOTHING! The more he drinks, the louder he gets. He is talking to "friend...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I cannot tell anyone that my husband has started drinking heavily again. We recently moved almost 300 miles away from my family and he has been drunk every day for the last week. We have been together for 2 years, married for 3 months. The first year we live...

Amandakay · Amandakay

nyc018 · nyc018

I haven't posted in a while but have been reading. I'm having a tough time. Almost a year ago my life was spinning out of control. AH was on the descent, and long story short, almost gave himself alcohol poisoning, went crazy, got fired from his job, and finally checked into 3 wk rehab. Fast forward a year...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So..my ah is out again...staying over at a friends house an hour from here. Heres the thing...as much as I dont like the drinking, I do enjoy an evening ALONE once in awhile. Stupid as it sounds...i feel guilty for being happy having the night to myself. Ifeel as if it is a sub consious way of condoning the...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I have been reading these boards for about a week now, bout several books, more on the way. I'm trying to grasp 'the program'. I read a meditation this morning that mentions how we can turn our will over to our HP, and that all that is needed is a beginning. Just open the door a tiny bit...we can open the d...

katfshh · katfshh

I have blocked him every which way. But, last night I got another message. This time he contacted me by sending me a message through a reunion website that I had rsvp to. I worked for an airline from 1984-1990, and they are having a reunion next month. Somehow he sent me a message through there. He said, Yo...

Country Boy · Country Boy

Uuuggghhh. Just had a consultation with a divorce lawyer today. I'm feeling pretty sad that marriage to AW is heading this way. She doesn't know I went to see a lawyer, for all I know, she's already seen one herself. About a month ago we both agreed we couldn't live this way any longer. I have been working...

amills4294 · amills4294

It's amazing how reading these messages and daily events can dredge up so much crap. I have to admit that I still have sooooo much anger welled up inside me at my A mom. I don't know if it's anger that's burying the hurt or it's just anger. I know what the program says to do with it. I know I should just turn...

orchidlover · orchidlover

One of the core issues I had with the ex A and all A's and addicts really was their inability to say No. I would set a limit and they'd test it to the ceiling. They resented, loathed and scapegoated me for daring to say no. After a couple of years of working on No and meaning it I am able to see that I had my own i...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

For the last few days I've been praying the serenity prayer to help me with not relapsing and getting back into my insanity. My 17 y.o. grandson got sick last Thursday, Friday he called and asked me if he could stay at my house, he said I knew how to take care of him. I said OK and picked him up, Mon. I had to...

imom · imom

I am watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony with my kids while my AH is out drinking with his dad. I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my kids. I feel sad for him that he continues to miss out on so many moments with them. I am resentful for the fact that my daughter has so much daddy anxiety about when he...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello My Friend, Having a grand child is an amazing experience. I am lucky, my graddaughter lives with me. I am glad to hear that you are smiling again. That is an amazing feeling to have. I hope you are finding peace and joy as life progresses. Just remember everyday above ground is a good day. And...

Nickie Jo · Nickie Jo

How do you condense a life time of alcoholic family members? My adopted Dad, and Mom and AH, and son in law too... The main reason I have come here is I work shift work, and 10 to 12 hour shifts, I have not gotten to where I can go to a f2f meeting so, I am absorbing all I can right now. I am not a spring chicken...

silent · silent

why is my a b/f keeps teiing me i should have more faith in him he even sent me a poster that said marriege is only a peice of paper that haveing faith and respect etc.in yur partner is most important,lol,am i missing something here ,lol im beginning to feel like he is twisting my brain,or trying,guess he f...

Gailey · Gailey

Wow....I am feeling so much gratitude today. My son has worked very hard on his recovery this past year. He doesn't think of it as hard work because he loves AA meetings and working with a sponser on the 12 steps. If he goes 2 days without a meeting he can feel some feelings that only contact with someone in...

Neesabean · Neesabean

So......I know my son is an addict. I have accepted this fact and am beginning to learn how to deal with it. Up until now I have always believed he was a good person with bad habit. I guess he is still a good person but has begun (or hidden very well) the things that cross the line into....what....bad...

lnc12 · lnc12

Hello everyone! I've been reading through the forum for about a month now, but I've been too afraid to start a topic of my own. I'm doing it now, because I am almost at my wits' end. I'm 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for going on 7 years, and married for almost 2. I knew he drank a lot when we we...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

In our ODAT reading for today it talks about changing the environment and the A desiring sobriety as a result. I kind of think that's the situation but there is that whole giant leap of him wanting to be sober and actually being able to make it happen. I'm really good at the detachment factor. However, I d...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

BF is sober again now 17 days since his relapse. He found a place to live and will be moving in on the 1st. He was homeless a bit but once he got back into his meetings, had resolved his living situation and accepted my boundaries, he can stay here temporarily. Moving in is not an option... I only allowe...

tortuga · tortuga

Things came to an end with my ABF, I cut the cords. Not that the biggest work has been done, the hardest is yet to come, because as I triggered his awareness, well he triggered mine. So now I face my own addiction, the addiction to this realtionship, the addiction to be needed, the addiction to care more fo...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi I will be out of town for over a week and have posted the 7th Tradition to the Step Work Board Join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50177844/alanon-tradition-7/

Pushka · Pushka

I heard this statement recently and loved it .. I was pre-qualified for alanon and boy is there a lot of truth to that!! Last night I went to a wonderful meeting in town and it was nice to know that all I had to do was change location not my schedule. I would have been at a meeting during that time on a Tuesday...

Jozie · Jozie

Have you ever had those Moments where Your Spirt Contracts, & retracts to the Point of a Roller Coaster... For Example... I resently returned from Vacation, and I had an Amazing Time, However there where Moments when I would Feel Over the Moon, and Feel HP Standing Right There, Present, and then O...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Only one thing to really complain about & it really isn't a complaint. Sometimes when it rains it pours but I am still optimistic. My husband had a crack in his denturs & then lost a tooth on his top plate. Ouch! So, on Weds. we went to a denturist 60 miles away of course--we live in a small town so th...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi All, I'm so glad this is here for me. I am a wreck this morning. After 7 years of marriage, we are still in the same place. AH still drinks, but at least it was getting better for a while--not as drunk, or not as often. I could sort of manage that. I was also trying my best not to hide his beer, con...

Inawhirl · Inawhirl

I suppose this is as much a vent as anything. AD (23 yo) has been in the program and sober for over 3 months after a DUI - her second. I'm so glad she's doing it. Better to do it at this age than later, etc. She is having difficulties dealing with the idea of jail, won't apply for jobs with the pending court a...

Wanderer · Wanderer

This is just a bit of a vent... Before I got married and had kids, I kind of expected that those things would change my life. I would have to make compromises, sacrifices even, and that it would be a lot of work. But that it would all be worth it. The joy of having a husband and children would balance out the wo...

Oksie · Oksie

NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...

tortuga · tortuga

I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...

imom · imom

My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...

katfshh · katfshh

Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Question about your 12 step experience (Preview) I am getting ready to start the 12 steps and I have some questions for the people who have done the 12 steps. How long did it take you to do all of them? Was there any certain step that was a major turning point for you and why? I would love to hear any experiences you had with the steps since that is what I am o...	willowtree	4	562	Jul 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Can a person change? (Preview) I just found this forum in my soul searching... After 18 years of marriage and living with my husbands multiple addictions (alcohol 26 years ago, gambling, weed) and accompanying bouts of depression, I told him that I want a divorce. We have three teenage children and I don't want them to continue to s...	mmerc	15	612	Jul 31, 2012 by Oksie
	>>Help with Dad (Preview) Hi all, I am a sober son of a raging life long alcoholic. To keep it short, my dad was raised by a drug addicted, alcoholic party girl with no father (he died early in my dads life). He has been on and off (mostly on) drinking for his entire life and is now 72 years old, cant work, broke, and drinks vodka straig...	sober-son	13	606	Jul 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	A truce (Preview) As some of you may remember, my Dad has been in AA since 1979. He has not had a drop of alcohol in that time, and still talks about one day at a time. As you may also remember, he is here visiting with my Mum for three months and living in my unit under my house. Every time they visit I know there will be fights et...	Oksie	13	599	Jul 31, 2012 by Oksie
	First Time Poster.... Help! (Preview) I don't mean to bother anyone with a long backstory, but I'm a first time poster and not sure where to start. I'm 22 and my older brother (25) is completely tearing my family apart with his drinking. He has thyroid and ADHD problems, but started drinking in 7th grade and then smoking marijuana almost dai...	ConcernedSister	6	706	Jul 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Life with Mom (Preview) So I had to share this .. holy cow I don't think I have laughed this hard with my kids for the LONGEST time. Yesterday we spent the day at an amusement park and it was the best time EVER!! Those were the words of the youngest. We were all tired in a good way and the day just went so fast it was crazy!! As we ge...	Pushka	7	409	Jul 31, 2012 by amills4294
	Good God, he is crazy! And I will not allow him to take me down with him! (Preview) I have told him to leave again and again. He has no interest in the ownership of the home, and he has no lease, nor does he pay rent, so as I understand FLorida law, he has no legal residency in my house. I have insisted he leave my house so that I can get on with my life. He goes, packs nothing, then returns d...	Diva	5	770	Jul 31, 2012 by Rocky38
	F2F Meeting... Or not. (Preview) Well... I finally want to go to a F2F meeting. I mean REALLY want to. Checked online and there are absolutely NONE that will work for me. (time/location/lack of babysitting, etc). Now what?	ELEKTRAWMN	3	507	Jul 30, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Question about AA and religion (Preview) So A went to his 3 hour counseling session as well as his mandatory AA meeting this past week. Things have actually calmed down here. I know he'll never admit it but I think he actually got something out of his meeting. Anyway, I have a question regarding those meetings. I understand the concept abo...	ELEKTRAWMN	9	611	Jul 30, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting as I am out of town. Hoping someone will step up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	206	Jul 30, 2012 by shimo
	financial problems how do you cope. (Preview) My A uses our account and spends money that should be spend on bills to drink. I make most of the money because his addiction has affected his ability to make a good living. How do you deal with finances? I am ready to transfered my direct deposit to another account but I have so many automatic bills. Askin...	justme777	7	656	Jul 30, 2012 by Debilyn
	Alcoholics in Al Anon (Preview) I live in Montana in a small college town. We have 8 meetings total: Monday noon, Tuesday noon, Tuesday evening all womens group, Wednesday noon, wednesday evening, thursday evening, Friday noon and Saturday morning. There are three times as many AA meetings around here. Now, I have a few issues tha...	PittBullLover	8	725	Jul 30, 2012 by PittBullLover
	New Obsession - Gu ns (Preview) Since my exA moved out -- he has a new obsession. Guns. It's almost like a new source of esteem for him, as he has lost everything else.... I unfriended my exA on FB in part because he kept posting all these new guns he has, and not giving me a penny of child support and it made me really angry. So this morning I...	rehprof	6	770	Jul 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Going back home tomorrow night! (Preview) Wow, I can't believe that I've been gone a month. My AH has made efforts to be nice on the phone but he doesn't contact me at all other than the 1 phone call a day. He sent flowers and a silly postcard while we were gone. I think he thinks that all will be well when I get home and that I will forget(or overlook...	ilovedogs	1	327	Jul 29, 2012 by katfshh
	NEED some support (Preview) Having a really hard time today. My husband has been in fine form for the past couple of days. I have not taken him up on the argument for 3 days now but it is so hard to listen to the trash talk about myself and not respond to it. His temper is starting to scare me again and if I defend myself even in the slight...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	504	Jul 29, 2012 by katfshh
	I am feeling drained (Preview) I am new to this site and this is my first post. I am a 30 year old, pregnant female with an alcoholic husband. I am having a lot of difficulty dealing with him. Usually I just ignore him until he is sober. Then we talk and he is always "so sorry" and he is going to stop. Today I saw him drinking...	Pecan	4	423	Jul 29, 2012 by Pecan
	Struggling with Enabling/Resentment (Preview) The enabling doesn't have to do with my alcoholic but with others around me. I have trouble distinguishing whether I am just being selfish or not wanting to enable. It happens a lot with my best friend who grew up homeless and with two addicted parents. She asks for help with things that she could figure...	Elizabeth10	9	693	Jul 29, 2012 by flinn66
	Resentment is a horrible feeling! (vent) (Preview) I am sitting here reading posts, reading replies on my previous post and my AH is playing video games and drinking beer. I am thinking of going to a meeting tonight, but I am so ANGRY that I am having to do this and he is doing NOTHING! The more he drinks, the louder he gets. He is talking to "friend...	almostgivenup	9	991	Jul 29, 2012 by flinn66
	So sad (Preview) I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I cannot tell anyone that my husband has started drinking heavily again. We recently moved almost 300 miles away from my family and he has been drunk every day for the last week. We have been together for 2 years, married for 3 months. The first year we live...	almostgivenup	15	778	Jul 29, 2012 by katfshh
	Good 'ole fashion Winnie the Pooh Wisdom (Preview)	Amandakay	6	443	Jul 29, 2012 by katfshh
	More family problems (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but have been reading. I'm having a tough time. Almost a year ago my life was spinning out of control. AH was on the descent, and long story short, almost gave himself alcohol poisoning, went crazy, got fired from his job, and finally checked into 3 wk rehab. Fast forward a year...	nyc018	4	519	Jul 29, 2012 by rehprof
	hes out again...not sure I care (Preview) So..my ah is out again...staying over at a friends house an hour from here. Heres the thing...as much as I dont like the drinking, I do enjoy an evening ALONE once in awhile. Stupid as it sounds...i feel guilty for being happy having the night to myself. Ifeel as if it is a sub consious way of condoning the...	Theoceancalls	1	334	Jul 28, 2012 by pinkchip
	Healthy relationships (Preview) I have been reading these boards for about a week now, bout several books, more on the way. I'm trying to grasp 'the program'. I read a meditation this morning that mentions how we can turn our will over to our HP, and that all that is needed is a beginning. Just open the door a tiny bit...we can open the d...	Neesabean	6	1069	Jul 28, 2012 by manalanon
	Now he is jumping through hoops to contact me. (Preview) I have blocked him every which way. But, last night I got another message. This time he contacted me by sending me a message through a reunion website that I had rsvp to. I worked for an airline from 1984-1990, and they are having a reunion next month. Somehow he sent me a message through there. He said, Yo...	katfshh	9	730	Jul 28, 2012 by katfshh
	Consultation with lawyer (Preview) Uuuggghhh. Just had a consultation with a divorce lawyer today. I'm feeling pretty sad that marriage to AW is heading this way. She doesn't know I went to see a lawyer, for all I know, she's already seen one herself. About a month ago we both agreed we couldn't live this way any longer. I have been working...	Country Boy	10	634	Jul 28, 2012 by Pushka
	drama and pent up anger (Preview) It's amazing how reading these messages and daily events can dredge up so much crap. I have to admit that I still have sooooo much anger welled up inside me at my A mom. I don't know if it's anger that's burying the hurt or it's just anger. I know what the program says to do with it. I know I should just turn...	amills4294	4	528	Jul 28, 2012 by Pushka
	In ability to hear no. (Preview) One of the core issues I had with the ex A and all A's and addicts really was their inability to say No. I would set a limit and they'd test it to the ceiling. They resented, loathed and scapegoated me for daring to say no. After a couple of years of working on No and meaning it I am able to see that I had my own i...	orchidlover	2	521	Jul 28, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Changing what I can! (Preview) For the last few days I've been praying the serenity prayer to help me with not relapsing and getting back into my insanity. My 17 y.o. grandson got sick last Thursday, Friday he called and asked me if he could stay at my house, he said I knew how to take care of him. I said OK and picked him up, Mon. I had to...	Highlyfavored	2	322	Jul 28, 2012 by Nickie Jo
	sad or resentful? i don't know...maybe both (Preview) I am watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony with my kids while my AH is out drinking with his dad. I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my kids. I feel sad for him that he continues to miss out on so many moments with them. I am resentful for the fact that my daughter has so much daddy anxiety about when he...	imom	2	323	Jul 28, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Peace Rocky (Preview) Hello My Friend, Having a grand child is an amazing experience. I am lucky, my graddaughter lives with me. I am glad to hear that you are smiling again. That is an amazing feeling to have. I hope you are finding peace and joy as life progresses. Just remember everyday above ground is a good day. And...	Andrea12	2	318	Jul 28, 2012 by Rocky38
	So thankful you are here! (Preview) How do you condense a life time of alcoholic family members? My adopted Dad, and Mom and AH, and son in law too... The main reason I have come here is I work shift work, and 10 to 12 hour shifts, I have not gotten to where I can go to a f2f meeting so, I am absorbing all I can right now. I am not a spring chicken...	Nickie Jo	4	508	Jul 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	feeling drained (Preview) why is my a b/f keeps teiing me i should have more faith in him he even sent me a poster that said marriege is only a peice of paper that haveing faith and respect etc.in yur partner is most important,lol,am i missing something here ,lol im beginning to feel like he is twisting my brain,or trying,guess he f...	silent	4	475	Jul 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	son is celebrating 1 year today (Preview) Wow....I am feeling so much gratitude today. My son has worked very hard on his recovery this past year. He doesn't think of it as hard work because he loves AA meetings and working with a sponser on the 12 steps. If he goes 2 days without a meeting he can feel some feelings that only contact with someone in...	Gailey	8	455	Jul 27, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Reality??? (Preview) So......I know my son is an addict. I have accepted this fact and am beginning to learn how to deal with it. Up until now I have always believed he was a good person with bad habit. I guess he is still a good person but has begun (or hidden very well) the things that cross the line into....what....bad...	Neesabean	12	595	Jul 27, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Thoughts of leaving (Preview) Hello everyone! I've been reading through the forum for about a month now, but I've been too afraid to start a topic of my own. I'm doing it now, because I am almost at my wits' end. I'm 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for going on 7 years, and married for almost 2. I knew he drank a lot when we we...	lnc12	9	624	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Detachment, yet showing support, yet not enabling, ESH please (Preview) In our ODAT reading for today it talks about changing the environment and the A desiring sobriety as a result. I kind of think that's the situation but there is that whole giant leap of him wanting to be sober and actually being able to make it happen. I'm really good at the detachment factor. However, I d...	Jackie11	11	581	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Progress (Preview) BF is sober again now 17 days since his relapse. He found a place to live and will be moving in on the 1st. He was homeless a bit but once he got back into his meetings, had resolved his living situation and accepted my boundaries, he can stay here temporarily. Moving in is not an option... I only allowe...	AStrongerMe	3	312	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	24/7 struggle! (Preview) Things came to an end with my ABF, I cut the cords. Not that the biggest work has been done, the hardest is yet to come, because as I triggered his awareness, well he triggered mine. So now I face my own addiction, the addiction to this realtionship, the addiction to be needed, the addiction to care more fo...	tortuga	4	539	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	7th Tradition (Preview) Hi I will be out of town for over a week and have posted the 7th Tradition to the Step Work Board Join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50177844/alanon-tradition-7/	hotrod	0	676	Jul 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Pre-Qualified (Preview) I heard this statement recently and loved it .. I was pre-qualified for alanon and boy is there a lot of truth to that!! Last night I went to a wonderful meeting in town and it was nice to know that all I had to do was change location not my schedule. I would have been at a meeting during that time on a Tuesday...	Pushka	8	492	Jul 27, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Tryin to Find My Spirit... (Preview) Have you ever had those Moments where Your Spirt Contracts, & retracts to the Point of a Roller Coaster... For Example... I resently returned from Vacation, and I had an Amazing Time, However there where Moments when I would Feel Over the Moon, and Feel HP Standing Right There, Present, and then O...	Jozie	7	569	Jul 27, 2012 by likemyheart
	still a good week & counting! (Preview) Only one thing to really complain about & it really isn't a complaint. Sometimes when it rains it pours but I am still optimistic. My husband had a crack in his denturs & then lost a tooth on his top plate. Ouch! So, on Weds. we went to a denturist 60 miles away of course--we live in a small town so th...	Hoot Nanny	1	228	Jul 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Back here again (long post) (Preview) Hi All, I'm so glad this is here for me. I am a wreck this morning. After 7 years of marriage, we are still in the same place. AH still drinks, but at least it was getting better for a while--not as drunk, or not as often. I could sort of manage that. I was also trying my best not to hide his beer, con...	Minaret	11	573	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Change takes awhile (Preview) I suppose this is as much a vent as anything. AD (23 yo) has been in the program and sober for over 3 months after a DUI - her second. I'm so glad she's doing it. Better to do it at this age than later, etc. She is having difficulties dealing with the idea of jail, won't apply for jobs with the pending court a...	Inawhirl	5	453	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	why does it have to be so difficult?? (Preview) This is just a bit of a vent... Before I got married and had kids, I kind of expected that those things would change my life. I would have to make compromises, sacrifices even, and that it would be a lot of work. But that it would all be worth it. The joy of having a husband and children would balance out the wo...	Wanderer	2	446	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	my expectations were not met (Preview) NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...	Oksie	6	434	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	positive attitude! (Preview) I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream	tortuga	2	572	Jul 26, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	step 4 (Preview) I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...	Jackie11	7	1133	Jul 26, 2012 by hotrod
	to speak or not to speak (Preview) My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...	imom	3	632	Jul 26, 2012 by Mattie
	world convention 2013 (Preview) Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...	Tracy	2	598	Jul 26, 2012 by Tracy
	DOUBLE DIPPING! (Preview) Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...	Hoot Nanny	2	423	Jul 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Intoxicating mixes (Preview) I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...	orchidlover	2	685	Jul 26, 2012 by hotrod
	UGH! How can I NOT react???? (vent) (Preview) I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...	ELEKTRAWMN	3	499	Jul 26, 2012 by Pushka
	What am I? Who am I? (Preview) I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...	Neesabean	5	599	Jul 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Not as nice contact today... (Preview) Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...	katfshh	7	628	Jul 25, 2012 by katfshh
	Mommy guilt..lets call it that (Preview) So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......	Theoceancalls	16	607	Jul 25, 2012 by Inawhirl
	good week & hoping! (Preview) I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...	Hoot Nanny	1	260	Jul 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Ashamed to admit this..... (Preview) So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...	ilovedogs	10	815	Jul 25, 2012 by orchidlover
	Well... I'm back. (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	621	Jul 25, 2012 by Minaret
	Again....3am...:() (Preview) Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...	Theoceancalls	4	511	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.