Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So..my ah is out again...staying over at a friends house an hour from here. Heres the thing...as much as I dont like the drinking, I do enjoy an evening ALONE once in awhile. Stupid as it sounds...i feel guilty for being happy having the night to myself. Ifeel as if it is a sub consious way of condoning the...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I have been reading these boards for about a week now, bout several books, more on the way. I'm trying to grasp 'the program'. I read a meditation this morning that mentions how we can turn our will over to our HP, and that all that is needed is a beginning. Just open the door a tiny bit...we can open the d...

katfshh · katfshh

I have blocked him every which way. But, last night I got another message. This time he contacted me by sending me a message through a reunion website that I had rsvp to. I worked for an airline from 1984-1990, and they are having a reunion next month. Somehow he sent me a message through there. He said, Yo...

Country Boy · Country Boy

Uuuggghhh. Just had a consultation with a divorce lawyer today. I'm feeling pretty sad that marriage to AW is heading this way. She doesn't know I went to see a lawyer, for all I know, she's already seen one herself. About a month ago we both agreed we couldn't live this way any longer. I have been working...

amills4294 · amills4294

It's amazing how reading these messages and daily events can dredge up so much crap. I have to admit that I still have sooooo much anger welled up inside me at my A mom. I don't know if it's anger that's burying the hurt or it's just anger. I know what the program says to do with it. I know I should just turn...

orchidlover · orchidlover

One of the core issues I had with the ex A and all A's and addicts really was their inability to say No. I would set a limit and they'd test it to the ceiling. They resented, loathed and scapegoated me for daring to say no. After a couple of years of working on No and meaning it I am able to see that I had my own i...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

For the last few days I've been praying the serenity prayer to help me with not relapsing and getting back into my insanity. My 17 y.o. grandson got sick last Thursday, Friday he called and asked me if he could stay at my house, he said I knew how to take care of him. I said OK and picked him up, Mon. I had to...

imom · imom

I am watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony with my kids while my AH is out drinking with his dad. I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my kids. I feel sad for him that he continues to miss out on so many moments with them. I am resentful for the fact that my daughter has so much daddy anxiety about when he...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello My Friend, Having a grand child is an amazing experience. I am lucky, my graddaughter lives with me. I am glad to hear that you are smiling again. That is an amazing feeling to have. I hope you are finding peace and joy as life progresses. Just remember everyday above ground is a good day. And...

Nickie Jo · Nickie Jo

How do you condense a life time of alcoholic family members? My adopted Dad, and Mom and AH, and son in law too... The main reason I have come here is I work shift work, and 10 to 12 hour shifts, I have not gotten to where I can go to a f2f meeting so, I am absorbing all I can right now. I am not a spring chicken...

silent · silent

why is my a b/f keeps teiing me i should have more faith in him he even sent me a poster that said marriege is only a peice of paper that haveing faith and respect etc.in yur partner is most important,lol,am i missing something here ,lol im beginning to feel like he is twisting my brain,or trying,guess he f...

Gailey · Gailey

Wow....I am feeling so much gratitude today. My son has worked very hard on his recovery this past year. He doesn't think of it as hard work because he loves AA meetings and working with a sponser on the 12 steps. If he goes 2 days without a meeting he can feel some feelings that only contact with someone in...

Neesabean · Neesabean

So......I know my son is an addict. I have accepted this fact and am beginning to learn how to deal with it. Up until now I have always believed he was a good person with bad habit. I guess he is still a good person but has begun (or hidden very well) the things that cross the line into....what....bad...

lnc12 · lnc12

Hello everyone! I've been reading through the forum for about a month now, but I've been too afraid to start a topic of my own. I'm doing it now, because I am almost at my wits' end. I'm 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for going on 7 years, and married for almost 2. I knew he drank a lot when we we...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

In our ODAT reading for today it talks about changing the environment and the A desiring sobriety as a result. I kind of think that's the situation but there is that whole giant leap of him wanting to be sober and actually being able to make it happen. I'm really good at the detachment factor. However, I d...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

BF is sober again now 17 days since his relapse. He found a place to live and will be moving in on the 1st. He was homeless a bit but once he got back into his meetings, had resolved his living situation and accepted my boundaries, he can stay here temporarily. Moving in is not an option... I only allowe...

tortuga · tortuga

Things came to an end with my ABF, I cut the cords. Not that the biggest work has been done, the hardest is yet to come, because as I triggered his awareness, well he triggered mine. So now I face my own addiction, the addiction to this realtionship, the addiction to be needed, the addiction to care more fo...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi I will be out of town for over a week and have posted the 7th Tradition to the Step Work Board Join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50177844/alanon-tradition-7/

Pushka · Pushka

I heard this statement recently and loved it .. I was pre-qualified for alanon and boy is there a lot of truth to that!! Last night I went to a wonderful meeting in town and it was nice to know that all I had to do was change location not my schedule. I would have been at a meeting during that time on a Tuesday...

Jozie · Jozie

Have you ever had those Moments where Your Spirt Contracts, & retracts to the Point of a Roller Coaster... For Example... I resently returned from Vacation, and I had an Amazing Time, However there where Moments when I would Feel Over the Moon, and Feel HP Standing Right There, Present, and then O...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Only one thing to really complain about & it really isn't a complaint. Sometimes when it rains it pours but I am still optimistic. My husband had a crack in his denturs & then lost a tooth on his top plate. Ouch! So, on Weds. we went to a denturist 60 miles away of course--we live in a small town so th...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi All, I'm so glad this is here for me. I am a wreck this morning. After 7 years of marriage, we are still in the same place. AH still drinks, but at least it was getting better for a while--not as drunk, or not as often. I could sort of manage that. I was also trying my best not to hide his beer, con...

Inawhirl · Inawhirl

I suppose this is as much a vent as anything. AD (23 yo) has been in the program and sober for over 3 months after a DUI - her second. I'm so glad she's doing it. Better to do it at this age than later, etc. She is having difficulties dealing with the idea of jail, won't apply for jobs with the pending court a...

Wanderer · Wanderer

This is just a bit of a vent... Before I got married and had kids, I kind of expected that those things would change my life. I would have to make compromises, sacrifices even, and that it would be a lot of work. But that it would all be worth it. The joy of having a husband and children would balance out the wo...

Oksie · Oksie

NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...

tortuga · tortuga

I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...

imom · imom

My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...

katfshh · katfshh

Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...

amills4294 · amills4294

I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...

silent · silent

i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...

gyzer02 · gyzer02

My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...

justme777 · justme777

I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...

Dazzy · Dazzy

I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info. I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...

KLotus · KLotus

Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...

katfshh · katfshh

OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...

Pushka · Pushka

I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...

Wantoutdone · Wantoutdone

I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!

Katy · Katy

Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	hes out again...not sure I care (Preview) So..my ah is out again...staying over at a friends house an hour from here. Heres the thing...as much as I dont like the drinking, I do enjoy an evening ALONE once in awhile. Stupid as it sounds...i feel guilty for being happy having the night to myself. Ifeel as if it is a sub consious way of condoning the...	Theoceancalls	1	306	Jul 28, 2012 by pinkchip
	Healthy relationships (Preview) I have been reading these boards for about a week now, bout several books, more on the way. I'm trying to grasp 'the program'. I read a meditation this morning that mentions how we can turn our will over to our HP, and that all that is needed is a beginning. Just open the door a tiny bit...we can open the d...	Neesabean	6	1018	Jul 28, 2012 by manalanon
	Now he is jumping through hoops to contact me. (Preview) I have blocked him every which way. But, last night I got another message. This time he contacted me by sending me a message through a reunion website that I had rsvp to. I worked for an airline from 1984-1990, and they are having a reunion next month. Somehow he sent me a message through there. He said, Yo...	katfshh	9	697	Jul 28, 2012 by katfshh
	Consultation with lawyer (Preview) Uuuggghhh. Just had a consultation with a divorce lawyer today. I'm feeling pretty sad that marriage to AW is heading this way. She doesn't know I went to see a lawyer, for all I know, she's already seen one herself. About a month ago we both agreed we couldn't live this way any longer. I have been working...	Country Boy	10	610	Jul 28, 2012 by Pushka
	drama and pent up anger (Preview) It's amazing how reading these messages and daily events can dredge up so much crap. I have to admit that I still have sooooo much anger welled up inside me at my A mom. I don't know if it's anger that's burying the hurt or it's just anger. I know what the program says to do with it. I know I should just turn...	amills4294	4	501	Jul 28, 2012 by Pushka
	In ability to hear no. (Preview) One of the core issues I had with the ex A and all A's and addicts really was their inability to say No. I would set a limit and they'd test it to the ceiling. They resented, loathed and scapegoated me for daring to say no. After a couple of years of working on No and meaning it I am able to see that I had my own i...	orchidlover	2	499	Jul 28, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Changing what I can! (Preview) For the last few days I've been praying the serenity prayer to help me with not relapsing and getting back into my insanity. My 17 y.o. grandson got sick last Thursday, Friday he called and asked me if he could stay at my house, he said I knew how to take care of him. I said OK and picked him up, Mon. I had to...	Highlyfavored	2	300	Jul 28, 2012 by Nickie Jo
	sad or resentful? i don't know...maybe both (Preview) I am watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony with my kids while my AH is out drinking with his dad. I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my kids. I feel sad for him that he continues to miss out on so many moments with them. I am resentful for the fact that my daughter has so much daddy anxiety about when he...	imom	2	302	Jul 28, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Peace Rocky (Preview) Hello My Friend, Having a grand child is an amazing experience. I am lucky, my graddaughter lives with me. I am glad to hear that you are smiling again. That is an amazing feeling to have. I hope you are finding peace and joy as life progresses. Just remember everyday above ground is a good day. And...	Andrea12	2	290	Jul 28, 2012 by Rocky38
	So thankful you are here! (Preview) How do you condense a life time of alcoholic family members? My adopted Dad, and Mom and AH, and son in law too... The main reason I have come here is I work shift work, and 10 to 12 hour shifts, I have not gotten to where I can go to a f2f meeting so, I am absorbing all I can right now. I am not a spring chicken...	Nickie Jo	4	479	Jul 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	feeling drained (Preview) why is my a b/f keeps teiing me i should have more faith in him he even sent me a poster that said marriege is only a peice of paper that haveing faith and respect etc.in yur partner is most important,lol,am i missing something here ,lol im beginning to feel like he is twisting my brain,or trying,guess he f...	silent	4	451	Jul 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	son is celebrating 1 year today (Preview) Wow....I am feeling so much gratitude today. My son has worked very hard on his recovery this past year. He doesn't think of it as hard work because he loves AA meetings and working with a sponser on the 12 steps. If he goes 2 days without a meeting he can feel some feelings that only contact with someone in...	Gailey	8	432	Jul 27, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Reality??? (Preview) So......I know my son is an addict. I have accepted this fact and am beginning to learn how to deal with it. Up until now I have always believed he was a good person with bad habit. I guess he is still a good person but has begun (or hidden very well) the things that cross the line into....what....bad...	Neesabean	12	575	Jul 27, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Thoughts of leaving (Preview) Hello everyone! I've been reading through the forum for about a month now, but I've been too afraid to start a topic of my own. I'm doing it now, because I am almost at my wits' end. I'm 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for going on 7 years, and married for almost 2. I knew he drank a lot when we we...	lnc12	9	599	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Detachment, yet showing support, yet not enabling, ESH please (Preview) In our ODAT reading for today it talks about changing the environment and the A desiring sobriety as a result. I kind of think that's the situation but there is that whole giant leap of him wanting to be sober and actually being able to make it happen. I'm really good at the detachment factor. However, I d...	Jackie11	11	556	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Progress (Preview) BF is sober again now 17 days since his relapse. He found a place to live and will be moving in on the 1st. He was homeless a bit but once he got back into his meetings, had resolved his living situation and accepted my boundaries, he can stay here temporarily. Moving in is not an option... I only allowe...	AStrongerMe	3	287	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	24/7 struggle! (Preview) Things came to an end with my ABF, I cut the cords. Not that the biggest work has been done, the hardest is yet to come, because as I triggered his awareness, well he triggered mine. So now I face my own addiction, the addiction to this realtionship, the addiction to be needed, the addiction to care more fo...	tortuga	4	513	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	7th Tradition (Preview) Hi I will be out of town for over a week and have posted the 7th Tradition to the Step Work Board Join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50177844/alanon-tradition-7/	hotrod	0	654	Jul 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Pre-Qualified (Preview) I heard this statement recently and loved it .. I was pre-qualified for alanon and boy is there a lot of truth to that!! Last night I went to a wonderful meeting in town and it was nice to know that all I had to do was change location not my schedule. I would have been at a meeting during that time on a Tuesday...	Pushka	8	466	Jul 27, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Tryin to Find My Spirit... (Preview) Have you ever had those Moments where Your Spirt Contracts, & retracts to the Point of a Roller Coaster... For Example... I resently returned from Vacation, and I had an Amazing Time, However there where Moments when I would Feel Over the Moon, and Feel HP Standing Right There, Present, and then O...	Jozie	7	548	Jul 27, 2012 by likemyheart
	still a good week & counting! (Preview) Only one thing to really complain about & it really isn't a complaint. Sometimes when it rains it pours but I am still optimistic. My husband had a crack in his denturs & then lost a tooth on his top plate. Ouch! So, on Weds. we went to a denturist 60 miles away of course--we live in a small town so th...	Hoot Nanny	1	206	Jul 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Back here again (long post) (Preview) Hi All, I'm so glad this is here for me. I am a wreck this morning. After 7 years of marriage, we are still in the same place. AH still drinks, but at least it was getting better for a while--not as drunk, or not as often. I could sort of manage that. I was also trying my best not to hide his beer, con...	Minaret	11	553	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Change takes awhile (Preview) I suppose this is as much a vent as anything. AD (23 yo) has been in the program and sober for over 3 months after a DUI - her second. I'm so glad she's doing it. Better to do it at this age than later, etc. She is having difficulties dealing with the idea of jail, won't apply for jobs with the pending court a...	Inawhirl	5	430	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	why does it have to be so difficult?? (Preview) This is just a bit of a vent... Before I got married and had kids, I kind of expected that those things would change my life. I would have to make compromises, sacrifices even, and that it would be a lot of work. But that it would all be worth it. The joy of having a husband and children would balance out the wo...	Wanderer	2	420	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	my expectations were not met (Preview) NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...	Oksie	6	406	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	positive attitude! (Preview) I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream	tortuga	2	549	Jul 26, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	step 4 (Preview) I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...	Jackie11	7	1047	Jul 26, 2012 by hotrod
	to speak or not to speak (Preview) My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...	imom	3	605	Jul 26, 2012 by Mattie
	world convention 2013 (Preview) Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...	Tracy	2	573	Jul 26, 2012 by Tracy
	DOUBLE DIPPING! (Preview) Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...	Hoot Nanny	2	398	Jul 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Intoxicating mixes (Preview) I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...	orchidlover	2	660	Jul 26, 2012 by hotrod
	UGH! How can I NOT react???? (vent) (Preview) I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...	ELEKTRAWMN	3	466	Jul 26, 2012 by Pushka
	What am I? Who am I? (Preview) I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...	Neesabean	5	574	Jul 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Not as nice contact today... (Preview) Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...	katfshh	7	603	Jul 25, 2012 by katfshh
	Mommy guilt..lets call it that (Preview) So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......	Theoceancalls	16	578	Jul 25, 2012 by Inawhirl
	good week & hoping! (Preview) I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...	Hoot Nanny	1	229	Jul 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Ashamed to admit this..... (Preview) So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...	ilovedogs	10	783	Jul 25, 2012 by orchidlover
	Well... I'm back. (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	595	Jul 25, 2012 by Minaret
	Again....3am...:() (Preview) Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...	Theoceancalls	4	487	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	bad day with family of origin (Preview) I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...	amills4294	5	687	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	need help (Preview) i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...	silent	4	411	Jul 24, 2012 by silent
	An Old Post Worth Reading Again & Again (Preview) This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...	GailMichelle	6	506	Jul 24, 2012 by GailMichelle
	what to do (Preview) My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...	gyzer02	6	643	Jul 24, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	new here and trying to find my balance (Preview) I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...	justme777	6	506	Jul 24, 2012 by Eddie1248
	Tired of the guilt and anger (Preview) I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info. I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...	Dazzy	3	421	Jul 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recovery and relapse (Preview) Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...	KLotus	5	502	Jul 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	Did I say something wrong? Should I not say how I feel, when they ask? (Preview) My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...	dragonflys	9	708	Jul 24, 2012 by dragonflys
	Just need to mind-dump (Preview) I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...	Aloha	6	588	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	He made first contact.. (Preview) OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...	katfshh	20	829	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Today is exactly 1 year I have been divorced (Preview) and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...	Breakingfree	10	464	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Neat Saying (Preview) I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)	Pushka	7	431	Jul 23, 2012 by willowtree
	today is my day! (Preview) Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...	Hoot Nanny	1	243	Jul 23, 2012 by Jen
	keeping the focus on us .. Trying .. (Preview) This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...	MeTwo2	2	482	Jul 23, 2012 by hotrod
	Busy busy busy .. (Preview) I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...	Pushka	6	511	Jul 23, 2012 by Pushka
	Dont know this person divorce the only answer? (Preview) I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...	Wantoutdone	3	757	Jul 23, 2012 by lacewing
	good samaritan (Preview) I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!	Hoot Nanny	1	328	Jul 23, 2012 by luv123
	how do you start your day? (Preview) Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...	Katy	10	887	Jul 23, 2012 by 1911A1
	Responding to the silent treatment(vent) (Preview) Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...	ilovedogs	9	842	Jul 23, 2012 by dragonflys
	death in the family (Preview) Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...	Oksie	8	498	Jul 23, 2012 by Oksie
	Neighbor breaking boundaries (Preview) My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...	Breakingfree	4	544	Jul 22, 2012 by Jen
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.