|
|
my expectations were not met
(Preview)
NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...
|
Oksie
|
6
|
404
|
|
|
|
positive attitude!
(Preview)
I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream 
|
tortuga
|
2
|
545
|
|
|
|
step 4
(Preview)
I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...
|
Jackie11
|
7
|
1034
|
|
|
|
to speak or not to speak
(Preview)
My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...
|
imom
|
3
|
604
|
|
|
|
world convention 2013
(Preview)
Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...
|
Tracy
|
2
|
569
|
|
|
|
DOUBLE DIPPING!
(Preview)
Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
2
|
394
|
|
|
|
Intoxicating mixes
(Preview)
I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...
|
orchidlover
|
2
|
656
|
|
|
|
UGH! How can I NOT react???? (vent)
(Preview)
I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...
|
ELEKTRAWMN
|
3
|
460
|
|
|
|
What am I? Who am I?
(Preview)
I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...
|
Neesabean
|
5
|
570
|
|
|
|
Not as nice contact today...
(Preview)
Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...
|
katfshh
|
7
|
597
|
|
|
|
Mommy guilt..lets call it that
(Preview)
So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......
|
Theoceancalls
|
16
|
574
|
|
|
|
good week & hoping!
(Preview)
I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
1
|
225
|
|
|
|
Ashamed to admit this.....
(Preview)
So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...
|
ilovedogs
|
10
|
779
|
|
|
|
Well... I'm back.
(Preview)
Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...
|
ELEKTRAWMN
|
11
|
587
|
|
|
|
Again....3am...:()
(Preview)
Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...
|
Theoceancalls
|
4
|
483
|
|
|
|
bad day with family of origin
(Preview)
I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...
|
amills4294
|
5
|
680
|
|
|
|
need help
(Preview)
i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...
|
silent
|
4
|
403
|
|
|
|
An Old Post Worth Reading Again & Again
(Preview)
This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...
|
GailMichelle
|
6
|
502
|
|
|
|
what to do
(Preview)
My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...
|
gyzer02
|
6
|
640
|
|
|
|
new here and trying to find my balance
(Preview)
I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...
|
justme777
|
6
|
503
|
|
|
|
Tired of the guilt and anger
(Preview)
I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info.
I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...
|
Dazzy
|
3
|
417
|
|
|
|
Recovery and relapse
(Preview)
Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...
|
KLotus
|
5
|
501
|
|
|
|
Did I say something wrong? Should I not say how I feel, when they ask?
(Preview)
My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...
|
dragonflys
|
9
|
700
|
|
|
|
Just need to mind-dump
(Preview)
I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...
|
Aloha
|
6
|
582
|
|
|
|
He made first contact..
(Preview)
OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...
|
katfshh
|
20
|
824
|
|
|
|
Today is exactly 1 year I have been divorced
(Preview)
and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...
|
Breakingfree
|
10
|
459
|
|
|
|
Neat Saying
(Preview)
I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)
|
Pushka
|
7
|
427
|
|
|
|
today is my day!
(Preview)
Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
1
|
239
|
|
|
|
keeping the focus on us .. Trying ..
(Preview)
This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...
|
MeTwo2
|
2
|
475
|
|
|
|
Busy busy busy ..
(Preview)
I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...
|
Pushka
|
6
|
507
|
|
|
|
Dont know this person
(Preview)
I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...
|
Wantoutdone
|
3
|
753
|
|
|
|
good samaritan
(Preview)
I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!
|
Hoot Nanny
|
1
|
324
|
|
|
|
how do you start your day?
(Preview)
Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...
|
Katy
|
10
|
858
|
|
|
|
Responding to the silent treatment(vent)
(Preview)
Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...
|
ilovedogs
|
9
|
814
|
|
|
|
death in the family
(Preview)
Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...
|
Oksie
|
8
|
494
|
|
|
|
Neighbor breaking boundaries
(Preview)
My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...
|
Breakingfree
|
4
|
542
|
|
|
|
A good vent
(Preview)
NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....
|
CDK
|
7
|
557
|
|
|
|
I am going to make this quick!
(Preview)
Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
0
|
210
|
|
|
|
sudden surge of anger
(Preview)
my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...
|
debhud
|
5
|
698
|
|
|
|
parents addiction
(Preview)
i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...
|
Louisep
|
4
|
362
|
|
|
|
Brain Fog Heart Fog
(Preview)
Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...
|
CDK
|
2
|
350
|
|
|
|
A good post for a change of pace
(Preview)
Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...
|
Country Boy
|
6
|
397
|
|
|
|
Strange (but good) experience...
(Preview)
Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...
|
Wanderer
|
5
|
489
|
|
|
|
need advice on dating a man in recovery
(Preview)
I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...
|
teachmath
|
18
|
718
|
|
|
|
Yup, I'm a mess
(Preview)
I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...
|
Country Boy
|
9
|
628
|
|
|
|
Mom of an Alcoholic/addicted person
(Preview)
I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.
|
Neesabean
|
5
|
426
|
|
|
|
AH out of detox, and I filed the papers today
(Preview)
I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...
|
holivex
|
10
|
698
|
|
|
|
Good Days and Bad Days
(Preview)
It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...
|
katfshh
|
9
|
600
|
|
|
|
A question regarding intimacy and our A's.
(Preview)
Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...
|
ELEKTRAWMN
|
11
|
835
|
|
|
|
just got my ass kicked by ABF
(Preview)
Today wasn't a good day. ABF out of rehab, me available to talk (what was i thinking again??), him torn between 'I hate you' -'i love you', accusing me, that he has been through hell, and all of it just for our love (he was a non-discovered alcoholic when we met, with my presence and awareness he had to come...
|
tortuga
|
12
|
718
|
|
|
|
On the strength of what I have read here this morning,
(Preview)
And so as not to hijack anyones thread, I lay in bed this morning reflecting on my relationships and there was soooooooooooo much I didn't notice about myself when I am busy evaluating everyone else, i can see how ron out it would make a person trying to figure everyone else out and then having such an hig...
|
Katy
|
1
|
324
|
|
|
|
sometimes it pays to be the bigger person.
(Preview)
Maybe this is principles over personalities, I had words with mydaughter last night, I found her to be a little harsh and short with me, so I told her that maybe she needs a change of attitude towards people as she seems to have alot of problems alot of the time, I could never do this before but for her sake a...
|
Katy
|
2
|
433
|
|
|
|
When they know
(Preview)
I've been here. Not frequently but reading and trying to sometimes comment. I read my daily readers, ODAT and C2C daily, they are amazing!!! I have my meeting, no matter how tired I am I never regret going!!! Last night I got home after a long day, and I could see it in his eyes, that he wasn't there. It was t...
|
Jackie11
|
7
|
602
|
|
|
|
Thinking of leaving....
(Preview)
So tonight was good then turbed bad. Isnt that the way in a active alcohoic marriage.i spent the day on lake without ah...he was working but it was saturday so drinking was involved. Id had a few on the lake too....we met back up around dinner time...it was clear he had "had a few" buf I ignored...
|
Theoceancalls
|
7
|
584
|
|
|
|
How do you detach from family
(Preview)
How in the world do you detach from and set boundaries with family - that seems to be where I get stuck the most? I have such guilt when it comes it. I would love to hear your experiences and how you do it.
|
daisy31
|
7
|
915
|
|
|
|
LOL, having fun in FL!
(Preview)
So, I've been on vacation in FL for the past 2.5 weeks. My 13 year old is currently playing in a top national tennis tournament and he's really enjoying the higher level competition. He lost all his matches but he's got a great attitude and is handling the losses really well. Also, I have been hit on 3 ti...
|
ilovedogs
|
3
|
319
|
|
|
|
Divorce or not??
(Preview)
After a 30-day treatment and a few months of unsuccesful meetings I finally left my husband when the pain of living became too unbearable. We have two very small children (the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge) and I am completely capable of raising them alone...but the allure of a norm...
|
Outsider
|
12
|
640
|
|
|
|
13th anniversary & it is a miracle!
(Preview)
So, here I go: It is a miracle that my AH is still married to me. Many reasons, many bad experiences to tell but I will be brief because I need to stop bringing up the past like it says in the do's & don'ts. It has been 13 years today since I married my husband on a beautiful sunny day! We started off strong b...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
2
|
350
|
|
|
|
im very new to this but would like to get to talk to ppl from ireland for support.
(Preview)
As i have said i am very new here but i am lookn for advice n help as to how i can change my life for the better....
|
pam2012
|
1
|
272
|
|
|
|
these help me:-)
(Preview)
Let your smile change the world, But don't ever let the world change your smile .
|
Katy
|
3
|
272
|
|