The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon.
My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward working on our marriage. Doing individual counseling, working up to couples counseling - he, for the first time in 30 years, opened up to spritual work.
His one year sobriety date was in May. He hasn't been in AA in almost a year.
3 weeks ago he told me he drank, probably starting a couple of weeks before he actually told me. I didn't panic, I reiterated that it is his to deal with, and that I was proud of all of the effort he's been putting in to working on himself. I can tell that the disease is progressing, however. More hiding the drinking, a little paranoia, less spending time working on himself, more moodiness. I told him recently that we have to be careful about jumping back in to the relationship too fast - that we need to continue working on ourselves and taking time for ourselves (i.e. maybe not spending 7 days a week together - it's not ok for him to move back home yet). He still thinks he can control his drinking, because "it's different now."
DEEP BREATH.
__________________
"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
When my AH and I separated the last time I told him that he would not be moving back in for at least a year. I knew I could not go through him yo-yoing in and out of our house every time I caught him using and I refused to live with an active addict. So we were separated for a long time, but it was good for us. We each needed the time to learn to stand on our own.
Hugs in support,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
What is different about his drinking now? Nothing. He can fool himself, but please don't fall for it. You are saying he opened up and "made progress" in counseling and at the same time you are describing relapse, denial, and lying when it comes to his disease. Does not sound like progress. Sounds like more of the same.
