Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

oh well. what did i expect? x ah is drinking again. no big deal, he is an a. about 6 weeks ago he said sorry for the damage he caused. people said be cautious. well nothing really changed but somewhere in my mind i hoped! oops silly me! i am resentful again. his pathetic self pity and obvious stupidity, its...

lschoenecker · lschoenecker

"Forgiveness - to forgive - is about you and I clearing our resentments of the past. It is about freeing ourselves from the mistakes we have made. Because don't we beat ourselves up sometimes? And this leads to guilt and/or resentment."

rainlax · rainlax

So, I went to my first meeting tonight! I had to walk around the block a few times before going in, but I went! It was... okay. I felt a bit like I didn't fit in. Everyone there who shared was dealing with a loved one who is currently drinking. I'm not, nor have I ever been, in that situation. I don't drink (ne...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes things are really true to life! I am experiencing all kinds of coincidences which can make me very crazy. The truth is that I am too aware of my surroundings! I have too many moments that scare me & put me in a definite place of fear. I can only focus on one thing at a time but sometimes I get dis...

Lyne · Lyne

Yesterday my A spouse not only drank yesterday so that her speech was slurred, but she refused to let me drive her home and she drove herself. She's not going to change and she could have killed someone. I MUST accept this. Lyne

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

My husband was supposed to be in an IOP program from December 2012 to March 2013. Failed a few tests in January. I never knew - obviously he did not tell me but neither did the treatment center. Think I already mentioned that in here. So I called his counselor at the treatment center, and he had all...

Lyne · Lyne

Ok, so this is what I've learned during the past week: Most likely when my A spouse is talking, they will be lies. All the promises she makes she breaks. I have to take care of myself so all her crap is not affecting me. I have promised myself I will no longer ask what time she is coming home, nor check her...

PP · PP

Last week I posted "I want to see my blind spots"..it was really a prayer, so my HP opted the best way to get me to see (or look up) was to put me on my keister. I spent almost a week suffering because I put my well being in the mudpie of earthbound craziness with my arrogance and pride sprinkled o...

Breezie · Breezie

Wanted to share my eleventh step miracle, amazing how Al-Anon works when you work it. It was a very trying past week. AH (sober) and I were not getting along. I tried to talk to him, it did not go well, put me in a tizzy and things even worse between us. I started praying for knowledge of his will and the p...

blondie99 · blondie99

I've decided to make myself useful today, even though the Daytona 500 is on in the background. I am in the process of packing my AH's belongings away - I don't know where they will go, or when, but I feel I need to put them somewhere away from me for the time being. So I'm putting laundry away, including som...

dponlyme · dponlyme

AW drunk tonight and turns into what I call 'the little god'. When drinking she often expects me to do whatever she wants whenever she wants and if I refuse she threatens to make me pay. In the past I would give in just to get her to leave me alone or I would get angry with her which never ended well. Tonight I r...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey All... I'm having another Tough Spot Again at the loss of Yet another to the disease that makes (3) in (3) months, that last two within 2wks of each other... And tho I know my Friend is in a place of Peace, I am So Angry! Not Just at the Disease its self, but at that Narrow Minded, Small Town ~ Small Mind pla...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Last week was my first week at my new job. I am so, so grateful to have this opportunity. It's with our county, and the benefits are incredible (which will make it much easier to leave my AH, should I make the decision to do so). More importantly, I feel like I fit in more there after one week than I did aft...

John · John

Now, I might not have all the medical terms right, or the process of diabetic episodes correct, but I'll try to tell you what my vet finally told me yesterday. My dog Max is a diabetic... his pancreas is releasing too much insulin into his system and making his glucose and sugar level bottom out to the poi...

tortuga · tortuga

feeling positive and cheerful today, so I just wanted to share with you. I'm looking forward what is yet to come in my life, as I know now that I will be able to kick out all the ugly stuff at some point and replace it with something good. the hurt feeling still lingers around....and that will take a while. B...

imom · imom

I have not been here in a couple of weeks. My life has taken yet another turn thanks to my AH. After having a terrible accident from huffing and drivindecide agreed to check himself a rest residential treatment center in another state. He was in detox for one week during which time he allowed another...

Jen61 · Jen61

I grew up in an alcoholic home. When you are a child this becomes your norm. I constantly watched my parents and became pretty good at reading people. I never had the attention of my dad. To him I was a nuisance and stupid. Things stick with a person after a while. In a lot of ways I never felt like I cou...

MichaelK · MichaelK

I have been dating the woman of my dreams for close to a year. Since the moment our eyes met I was in love, and every single day it got better. About a month ago maybe more I noticed she was becoming more and more distant. Coming home later and later finally on Valentines day, where we had plans to at least be t...

rainlax · rainlax

I am a total newbie to the al-anon world. My partner is in AA (3 years) and I never knew him as a drinker. In an effort to understand and support him better, I'm planning on going to an al-anon meeting. I've been toying with the idea for a couple of months but have come up with one excuse or another for reasons...

Sopes · Sopes

Hi there, i'm new to al-anon! I'm in a relationship with my partner of over 4 years, he's just had his 1 yr anniversary and doing really well and we're getting married later this year. Of course, we've been through a lot! Relationships get tested to the max and on a number of occasions i've wondered, 'is i...

rehprof · rehprof

We got about 6 inches of snow last night...so I went out and used a shovel and snow scoop to clear the driveway (I can't afford a plow guy). ExA shows up to take 10 yo to sledding party...and stands and smokes a cigarette for about 20 min while his 5.2 wife continues to move big mounds of snow out of the drivew...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well I thought OK I need to get out of the house so called a friend and we went out to dinner and then to the casino to have a little fun. Yes I lost a little but enjoy the evening out. One thing though is getting home at 2am makes for a lazy next day...hehe. I'm just not one of those late night people. My son wa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Someone jokingly said that I might have dementia & I took it seriously. My brain is just plain tired. I have been struggling w/ bad short-term memory but it only happens mostly when I am tired. I will take some of your advice & sleep when I am tired & nap when I need one. I usually nap every Thur...

Tracy · Tracy

I need somewhere to hide something so asked a friend where shall I hide it for safe keeping somewhere hard for me to retrieve it easily. The friend said at the bottom og the ocean, "no I will get a subarine " at the tope of a mountain I said No I ca climgb up and get it from there. I know said my fr...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well it sure seems like when you keep him eating he is holding his homeostasis!! His vital signs and his body balance sounds good. soooo make sure you leave food out and water and non salt chicken stock. You know you can always boil a chicken and cut it up and feed that too. Night time is vital for him not to l...

rainlax · rainlax

Hello! I've just found this board and am hoping for some advice. My partner is an alcoholic but has been in AA and sober for 3 years. I didn't know him when he was still drinking. However, I really want to understand where he's coming from, his struggles, be able to support him, etc etc, and it was suggeste...

laurab · laurab

My A son is in Phuket, Thailand. He has stopped his job, classes, friends etc and been holed up in his apartment, drinking beer. It's probably been 3 weeks, at least. We were hoping this would be the bottom, but he is saved again, because we were so scared. This morning we got a facebook private message fr...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear Friends After a very tumultuous week my AH is now in a detox/rehab facility. I had my first good night's sleep in forever last night, and today find myself overwhelmed with the reality that he is fighting for his life with this disease. I have been so angry and resentful recently, not working m...

Determined · Determined

My AH favorite thing to do compromise and negotiate. He is in full belief that he can now control his drinking he is sure that he is capable of only having a few drinks; after all last night he claimed he was so responsible cause he took a cab home instead of driving. Pretty sure he forgot that I told him I was...

1976love · 1976love

So today we are celebrating my daughter's 5th birthday. I had to miss my meeting today because of it. I really could use some uplifting thoughts because I am feeling so resentful towards members of my AH family. I will go and just keep my mouth shut and steer clear of people and things that will trigg...

blondie99 · blondie99

I know that my HP only gives me what I can take, and gently places me in the right place according to HP's plan, not mine. However, today I am struggling. I called my AH's therapist earlier this week, told him I had had enough and that I needed to schedule a family meeting at the rehab facility to hopefully w...

Lyne · Lyne

Tonight my A is going out with her drinking buddies and she is telling me she is working. I asked her to just please tell me the truth-nope. I'm angry but not devastated. I need to stay calm later when I see her after the lies. I probably will shut down and not want to talk to her. She will tell me I have a p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Even long time Al Anoners can mess up. As I have shared my manfriend has filed D from his wife. It takes about 6 months to be final. We had met here at MIP many, many years ago and we have been best friends only. We were both married to a's. I was freed by man by adultery. Now he is also freed by his wife. We both ha...

KELLY88 · KELLY88

I am new here, this is my first post. I really need support.....I will give you my life in a nutshell.....I have two boys..one is 15 and one is 9.....I live with my alcoholic partner....he does not work, and I support all of us......I travel for a living...... My partner and I have been together for 11 y...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52723393/step-10-alanon/

cinders · cinders

I spent some time thinking through my frustrations and anger that I was feeling towards my AH for all the years of let down and finally the abandonment. After some reflection I came to accept that in part, it was that I was angry at myself for having put up with it for so long, allowing myself to be treated...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety. My problem is that this anxiety is unwarranted and it's getting better but it can't stop. One thing I am worried about is that I will one day snap and cause a lot of distress for everyone around me, much like my parents did. They are both menta...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I've been feeling very sad, lonely, anxious and depressed for the past few weeks. My Mom passed unexpectedly in May from stomach cancer - diagnosed and ten days later she died, at the age of 58. My AH has not made any progress in his program and has been (unsuccessfully) trying to persuade me that he's...

John · John

Woke up to my dog Max mouning this morning. He couldn't stand on his legs. I picked him up and he callapsed in my arms. Limp and barely rsponding to me. I rushed him back to the vets office. Please say a "max" prayer this morning. John

cRaZyJaDe · cRaZyJaDe

I've been trying to decide if I wanted to post this or not, mostly because I know when I post this I will sound super-pathetic for keeping him around. Because that is how I feel. I want to be the strong, intelligent, independent woman that I used to be, but I can't find her. The only way to describe this we...

DavidG · DavidG

Its Saturday here in Sunny old New Zealand. its bin warm this summer, after a wet spring. The cherries have all bin picked, but followed by apricots, nectarine and them kinds of fruit. The grapes are the last to be picked. Ah well, I know they are grown to make gutrot, but the growers here believe they do m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't have much to say but I will say this: I haven't been on the computer for a few days so I haven't been able to post. I usually try to say something when I get on here. I guess I just can't shut up! No seriously. I have been reading a really good book lately--not alanon approved but good none the less. I jus...

tortuga · tortuga

today i'm posting here, just out of tiredness of being sad and hopeless. Am not feeling right inside...still a lot of anger and guilt, and disappointment and resentment. i know time will make this right, and hope and kindness will be back in place. right now there is emptiness. or is it the calm after th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

A couple of days ago my son wanted to help me at the house doing work that I don't get done all the time. I prayed about it and let it go but he continued to ask...PLEASE just let me do something. So I said OK, you know where the quad is and the dragger. Go up there and drag the property, pull any weeds and trim...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I got an award at work for finding something a few months ago wrong with an aircraft- an 8 inch cut in one of the tails underneath while the pilot was started up getting ready to take off. Im a contractor for the government and I work on F18 Hornets. As an inspector, I am obligated to stop the launch, and I did...

Katy · Katy

Errm I am really starting to think about my denial over things, although I like to belive I am an honest person, I am thinking denial is far from honest, yet I have only just started thinking about this, if honesty and denial are what I am doing I am not actually being honest, did my denial happen because of...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I'm getting so fed up with aw finding fault with everything I do. Even though I know that I've done nothing wrong it hurts that she makes me out to be this completely self centered uncaring person. Because I would not drop my plans to go the gym today and take son to get new eyeglasses then I "care more...

afglin · afglin

I woudl like to include an avatar on my message board posts. I can't fin a place for profile or preferences. I posted on the tech section yesterday but have not gotten a rely yet. Can anybody tell me how I put in an avatar? LIN

PP · PP

Although my hubbie has been in recovery for 4 years (me about 8) I still experience the same hurt (now I am aware of the hurt, before al anon I would not acknowledge it) from the same kinds of choices he made when he was in the active stages of his substance/sexual addictions. Throughout our marriage, he...

Pushka · Pushka

This is for all sake and purposes my wedding anniverary .. we would have been married this year for 14 years together for 17. Last year we went and had a date night as we were still together in a very weird way .. however .. it was a disaster. At least that's how I remember it. I had a wonderful meal .. I wan...

el-cee · el-cee

My mind has been sick again lately. I've been feeling a bit resentful and intolerant. I think my behaviour is not too bad. Im hiding my feelings but my thinking is horrible. I have no one to blame either. I want these shortcomings removed please.

sookie · sookie

I have let myself spend the the day at home alone crying for the first time in ages. This week I visited a lawyer, beginning the divorce process from my AH of 10 years, who has been living on his own for almost 18 months now. During this 18 months, I hoped he would find sobriety and we would make things work. I...

1976love · 1976love

So early this morning I get to thinking, "Why do I care if someone is mad at me?" I can understand the reasononing of the problem, I know I am right. I also know the other person has lied and betrayed people, people where I had to stick up for them, and now you are mad at me because I voiced a truth...

blondie99 · blondie99

OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE. My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day. It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's b...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am finding that my biggest issue is my growing anger at the lies I am being told. I know it's the disease he has. I know it's alcoholism. I can tell myself these things until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make me like it any less. I HATE being lied to. It's as simple as that. I have no idea how to liv...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello and good morning, I'm back into active daily program. After the events this weekend i questioned myself a lot, my trust in myself, my self-worth, my anger, my resentments. I went way back low, to feel so much hurt and self-deception. And Jerry recommended to throw a temper tantrum. I had to think...

John · John

My lil' dog, Max is back home!! I had taken him to the vet on Friday, got supportive care, took him home, was okay saturday, sunday started showing signs of not being very well, and Monday morning was non responsive at all. The only thing on his body that he could move was his eyes. He was limp. He spent...

Breezie · Breezie

Thanks for the warm welcomes Right now I am in the midst of turmoil with my AH. He has been clean a year now. I am happy and proud he has remained clean, but that seems to be the only part of his program he is working. He thinks his program is great. I will not take his inventory to him, but have felt the nee...

ChristineD · ChristineD

Hi, I'm new. My alcoholic mother passed away at the age of 53 Feb. 2. She had nothing prepared, left me with a mess and I've finally gotten her laid to rest. I still have to take care of her apartment and bills. I new this day was coming for five years. I knew in the end she would die alone with just me to take car...

John · John

Hi everyone, First I want to thank everyone for your warm, loving and supportive words as I trudge through this hard time regarding my dog Max. Your letting me just share it here, have a place to dump my heart out means so much to me. I saw Max this morning. And he is doing sooo much better. The vet says he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	amends meant nothing! (Preview) oh well. what did i expect? x ah is drinking again. no big deal, he is an a. about 6 weeks ago he said sorry for the damage he caused. people said be cautious. well nothing really changed but somewhere in my mind i hoped! oops silly me! i am resentful again. his pathetic self pity and obvious stupidity, its...	el-cee	10	355	Feb 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Monday Night Meeting - Forgiveness (Preview) "Forgiveness - to forgive - is about you and I clearing our resentments of the past. It is about freeing ourselves from the mistakes we have made. Because don't we beat ourselves up sometimes? And this leads to guilt and/or resentment."	lschoenecker	1	168	Feb 26, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Went to my first mtg! Should I go back? (Preview) So, I went to my first meeting tonight! I had to walk around the block a few times before going in, but I went! It was... okay. I felt a bit like I didn't fit in. Everyone there who shared was dealing with a loved one who is currently drinking. I'm not, nor have I ever been, in that situation. I don't drink (ne...	rainlax	9	350	Feb 26, 2013 by rainlax
	true to life! (Preview) Sometimes things are really true to life! I am experiencing all kinds of coincidences which can make me very crazy. The truth is that I am too aware of my surroundings! I have too many moments that scare me & put me in a definite place of fear. I can only focus on one thing at a time but sometimes I get dis...	Hoot Nanny	0	162	Feb 25, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	i surrender (Preview) Yesterday my A spouse not only drank yesterday so that her speech was slurred, but she refused to let me drive her home and she drove herself. She's not going to change and she could have killed someone. I MUST accept this. Lyne	Lyne	4	271	Feb 26, 2013 by Heather 68
	The trust is gone (Preview) My husband was supposed to be in an IOP program from December 2012 to March 2013. Failed a few tests in January. I never knew - obviously he did not tell me but neither did the treatment center. Think I already mentioned that in here. So I called his counselor at the treatment center, and he had all...	DebLisa55	5	285	Feb 26, 2013 by Heather 68
	life lessons again (Preview) Ok, so this is what I've learned during the past week: Most likely when my A spouse is talking, they will be lies. All the promises she makes she breaks. I have to take care of myself so all her crap is not affecting me. I have promised myself I will no longer ask what time she is coming home, nor check her...	Lyne	3	258	Feb 26, 2013 by Heather 68
	I invoked a prayer when I asked to see my blind spots (Preview) Last week I posted "I want to see my blind spots"..it was really a prayer, so my HP opted the best way to get me to see (or look up) was to put me on my keister. I spent almost a week suffering because I put my well being in the mudpie of earthbound craziness with my arrogance and pride sprinkled o...	PP	5	380	Feb 25, 2013 by f2fmember
	Knowledge of His will.... (Preview) Wanted to share my eleventh step miracle, amazing how Al-Anon works when you work it. It was a very trying past week. AH (sober) and I were not getting along. I tried to talk to him, it did not go well, put me in a tizzy and things even worse between us. I started praying for knowledge of his will and the p...	Breezie	4	255	Feb 25, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Talking to the ashes (Preview) I've decided to make myself useful today, even though the Daytona 500 is on in the background. I am in the process of packing my AH's belongings away - I don't know where they will go, or when, but I feel I need to put them somewhere away from me for the time being. So I'm putting laundry away, including som...	blondie99	7	289	Feb 25, 2013 by Zimmy
	AW drinks and threatens (Preview) AW drunk tonight and turns into what I call 'the little god'. When drinking she often expects me to do whatever she wants whenever she wants and if I refuse she threatens to make me pay. In the past I would give in just to get her to leave me alone or I would get angry with her which never ended well. Tonight I r...	dponlyme	6	360	Feb 25, 2013 by Jozie
	My Anger In Death & Rumors... (Preview) Hey All... I'm having another Tough Spot Again at the loss of Yet another to the disease that makes (3) in (3) months, that last two within 2wks of each other... And tho I know my Friend is in a place of Peace, I am So Angry! Not Just at the Disease its self, but at that Narrow Minded, Small Town ~ Small Mind pla...	Jozie	2	240	Feb 25, 2013 by hotrod
	New Job (Preview) Last week was my first week at my new job. I am so, so grateful to have this opportunity. It's with our county, and the benefits are incredible (which will make it much easier to leave my AH, should I make the decision to do so). More importantly, I feel like I fit in more there after one week than I did aft...	stephaniej	3	314	Feb 25, 2013 by RobinKSC
	My dog Max Update... (Preview) Now, I might not have all the medical terms right, or the process of diabetic episodes correct, but I'll try to tell you what my vet finally told me yesterday. My dog Max is a diabetic... his pancreas is releasing too much insulin into his system and making his glucose and sugar level bottom out to the poi...	John	10	543	Feb 25, 2013 by 1976love
	sharing the good mood! (Preview) feeling positive and cheerful today, so I just wanted to share with you. I'm looking forward what is yet to come in my life, as I know now that I will be able to kick out all the ugly stuff at some point and replace it with something good. the hurt feeling still lingers around....and that will take a while. B...	tortuga	2	217	Feb 25, 2013 by Determined
	Will it ever end?! (Preview) I have not been here in a couple of weeks. My life has taken yet another turn thanks to my AH. After having a terrible accident from huffing and drivindecide agreed to check himself a rest residential treatment center in another state. He was in detox for one week during which time he allowed another...	imom	5	399	Feb 25, 2013 by Pushka
	My life (Preview) I grew up in an alcoholic home. When you are a child this becomes your norm. I constantly watched my parents and became pretty good at reading people. I never had the attention of my dad. To him I was a nuisance and stupid. Things stick with a person after a while. In a lot of ways I never felt like I cou...	Jen61	5	260	Feb 25, 2013 by Jen61
	I NEED HELP PLEASE (Preview) I have been dating the woman of my dreams for close to a year. Since the moment our eyes met I was in love, and every single day it got better. About a month ago maybe more I noticed she was becoming more and more distant. Coming home later and later finally on Valentines day, where we had plans to at least be t...	MichaelK	12	381	Feb 25, 2013 by Findinghope
	nerves (Preview) I am a total newbie to the al-anon world. My partner is in AA (3 years) and I never knew him as a drinker. In an effort to understand and support him better, I'm planning on going to an al-anon meeting. I've been toying with the idea for a couple of months but have come up with one excuse or another for reasons...	rainlax	5	254	Feb 25, 2013 by Jerry F
	New to al-anon & feeling a bit left out! (Preview) Hi there, i'm new to al-anon! I'm in a relationship with my partner of over 4 years, he's just had his 1 yr anniversary and doing really well and we're getting married later this year. Of course, we've been through a lot! Relationships get tested to the max and on a number of occasions i've wondered, 'is i...	Sopes	8	308	Feb 25, 2013 by rainlax
	Snow VENT (Preview) We got about 6 inches of snow last night...so I went out and used a shovel and snow scoop to clear the driveway (I can't afford a plow guy). ExA shows up to take 10 yo to sledding party...and stands and smokes a cigarette for about 20 min while his 5.2 wife continues to move big mounds of snow out of the drivew...	rehprof	4	290	Feb 24, 2013 by Pushka
	Got out of the house (Preview) Well I thought OK I need to get out of the house so called a friend and we went out to dinner and then to the casino to have a little fun. Yes I lost a little but enjoy the evening out. One thing though is getting home at 2am makes for a lazy next day...hehe. I'm just not one of those late night people. My son wa...	Cathyinaz	6	304	Feb 24, 2013 by el-cee
	dementia (Preview) Someone jokingly said that I might have dementia & I took it seriously. My brain is just plain tired. I have been struggling w/ bad short-term memory but it only happens mostly when I am tired. I will take some of your advice & sleep when I am tired & nap when I need one. I usually nap every Thur...	Hoot Nanny	3	507	Feb 24, 2013 by milkwood
	pass it on (Preview) I need somewhere to hide something so asked a friend where shall I hide it for safe keeping somewhere hard for me to retrieve it easily. The friend said at the bottom og the ocean, "no I will get a subarine " at the tope of a mountain I said No I ca climgb up and get it from there. I know said my fr...	Tracy	2	241	Feb 24, 2013 by el-cee
	Max, John (Preview) Well it sure seems like when you keep him eating he is holding his homeostasis!! His vital signs and his body balance sounds good. soooo make sure you leave food out and water and non salt chicken stock. You know you can always boil a chicken and cut it up and feed that too. Night time is vital for him not to l...	Debilyn	1	292	Feb 24, 2013 by Debilyn
	Unsure if I should attend an al-anon meeting (Preview) Hello! I've just found this board and am hoping for some advice. My partner is an alcoholic but has been in AA and sober for 3 years. I didn't know him when he was still drinking. However, I really want to understand where he's coming from, his struggles, be able to support him, etc etc, and it was suggeste...	rainlax	6	718	Feb 24, 2013 by rainlax
	He was saved, again (Preview) My A son is in Phuket, Thailand. He has stopped his job, classes, friends etc and been holed up in his apartment, drinking beer. It's probably been 3 weeks, at least. We were hoping this would be the bottom, but he is saved again, because we were so scared. This morning we got a facebook private message fr...	laurab	10	508	Feb 24, 2013 by pinkchip
	Need to work my program (Preview) Dear Friends After a very tumultuous week my AH is now in a detox/rehab facility. I had my first good night's sleep in forever last night, and today find myself overwhelmed with the reality that he is fighting for his life with this disease. I have been so angry and resentful recently, not working m...	ParisMemories	6	227	Feb 24, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Compromise (Preview) My AH favorite thing to do compromise and negotiate. He is in full belief that he can now control his drinking he is sure that he is capable of only having a few drinks; after all last night he claimed he was so responsible cause he took a cab home instead of driving. Pretty sure he forgot that I told him I was...	Determined	14	351	Feb 24, 2013 by Determined
	High stress day (Preview) So today we are celebrating my daughter's 5th birthday. I had to miss my meeting today because of it. I really could use some uplifting thoughts because I am feeling so resentful towards members of my AH family. I will go and just keep my mouth shut and steer clear of people and things that will trigg...	1976love	5	302	Feb 24, 2013 by 1976love
	Hello? HP? Are you there? (Preview) I know that my HP only gives me what I can take, and gently places me in the right place according to HP's plan, not mine. However, today I am struggling. I called my AH's therapist earlier this week, told him I had had enough and that I needed to schedule a family meeting at the rehab facility to hopefully w...	blondie99	9	528	Feb 24, 2013 by blondie99
	confronting lying A (Preview) Tonight my A is going out with her drinking buddies and she is telling me she is working. I asked her to just please tell me the truth-nope. I'm angry but not devastated. I need to stay calm later when I see her after the lies. I probably will shut down and not want to talk to her. She will tell me I have a p...	Lyne	5	502	Feb 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Need to make amends to you (Preview) Even long time Al Anoners can mess up. As I have shared my manfriend has filed D from his wife. It takes about 6 months to be final. We had met here at MIP many, many years ago and we have been best friends only. We were both married to a's. I was freed by man by adultery. Now he is also freed by his wife. We both ha...	Debilyn	11	496	Feb 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	please help (Preview) I am new here, this is my first post. I really need support.....I will give you my life in a nutshell.....I have two boys..one is 15 and one is 9.....I live with my alcoholic partner....he does not work, and I support all of us......I travel for a living...... My partner and I have been together for 11 y...	KELLY88	10	288	Feb 23, 2013 by KELLY88
	STEP 10 (Preview) Hi MIP Family IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52723393/step-10-alanon/	hotrod	3	200	Feb 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Letting go of anger (Preview) I spent some time thinking through my frustrations and anger that I was feeling towards my AH for all the years of let down and finally the abandonment. After some reflection I came to accept that in part, it was that I was angry at myself for having put up with it for so long, allowing myself to be treated...	cinders	3	363	Feb 23, 2013 by el-cee
	Coping with Anxiety (Preview) Hi Everyone, Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety. My problem is that this anxiety is unwarranted and it's getting better but it can't stop. One thing I am worried about is that I will one day snap and cause a lot of distress for everyone around me, much like my parents did. They are both menta...	slogan_jim	9	454	Feb 23, 2013 by atheos
	Checking In (Preview) I've been feeling very sad, lonely, anxious and depressed for the past few weeks. My Mom passed unexpectedly in May from stomach cancer - diagnosed and ten days later she died, at the age of 58. My AH has not made any progress in his program and has been (unsuccessfully) trying to persuade me that he's...	Mlkiss75	4	238	Feb 23, 2013 by Overcome
	Max is back at vets (Preview) Woke up to my dog Max mouning this morning. He couldn't stand on his legs. I picked him up and he callapsed in my arms. Limp and barely rsponding to me. I rushed him back to the vets office. Please say a "max" prayer this morning. John	John	12	457	Feb 23, 2013 by Debilyn
	What to do? (Preview) I've been trying to decide if I wanted to post this or not, mostly because I know when I post this I will sound super-pathetic for keeping him around. Because that is how I feel. I want to be the strong, intelligent, independent woman that I used to be, but I can't find her. The only way to describe this we...	cRaZyJaDe	7	367	Feb 23, 2013 by Debilyn
	Saturday- Duck Joke. (Preview) Its Saturday here in Sunny old New Zealand. its bin warm this summer, after a wet spring. The cherries have all bin picked, but followed by apricots, nectarine and them kinds of fruit. The grapes are the last to be picked. Ah well, I know they are grown to make gutrot, but the growers here believe they do m...	DavidG	5	368	Feb 23, 2013 by Overcome
	don't have much to say... (Preview) I don't have much to say but I will say this: I haven't been on the computer for a few days so I haven't been able to post. I usually try to say something when I get on here. I guess I just can't shut up! No seriously. I have been reading a really good book lately--not alanon approved but good none the less. I jus...	Hoot Nanny	3	255	Feb 23, 2013 by Overcome
	acceptance on it's way....s-l-o-w-l-y (Preview) today i'm posting here, just out of tiredness of being sad and hopeless. Am not feeling right inside...still a lot of anger and guilt, and disappointment and resentment. i know time will make this right, and hope and kindness will be back in place. right now there is emptiness. or is it the calm after th...	tortuga	5	466	Feb 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Why do I feel quilty (Preview) A couple of days ago my son wanted to help me at the house doing work that I don't get done all the time. I prayed about it and let it go but he continued to ask...PLEASE just let me do something. So I said OK, you know where the quad is and the dragger. Go up there and drag the property, pull any weeds and trim...	Cathyinaz	12	400	Feb 23, 2013 by Jerry F
	Regretting getting an award at work yesterday (Preview) I got an award at work for finding something a few months ago wrong with an aircraft- an 8 inch cut in one of the tails underneath while the pilot was started up getting ready to take off. Im a contractor for the government and I work on F18 Hornets. As an inspector, I am obligated to stop the launch, and I did...	AlAnonDave	17	396	Feb 23, 2013 by lightblue2
	Denial (Preview) Errm I am really starting to think about my denial over things, although I like to belive I am an honest person, I am thinking denial is far from honest, yet I have only just started thinking about this, if honesty and denial are what I am doing I am not actually being honest, did my denial happen because of...	Katy	5	944	Feb 22, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Tired of being shamed... (Preview) I'm getting so fed up with aw finding fault with everything I do. Even though I know that I've done nothing wrong it hurts that she makes me out to be this completely self centered uncaring person. Because I would not drop my plans to go the gym today and take son to get new eyeglasses then I "care more...	dponlyme	6	483	Feb 22, 2013 by canadianguy
	avatar? (Preview) I woudl like to include an avatar on my message board posts. I can't fin a place for profile or preferences. I posted on the tech section yesterday but have not gotten a rely yet. Can anybody tell me how I put in an avatar? LIN	afglin	4	235	Feb 22, 2013 by hotrod
	I want to see my blind spots..not sure my self inventory is going so well..feedback please (Preview) Although my hubbie has been in recovery for 4 years (me about 8) I still experience the same hurt (now I am aware of the hurt, before al anon I would not acknowledge it) from the same kinds of choices he made when he was in the active stages of his substance/sexual addictions. Throughout our marriage, he...	PP	8	357	Feb 22, 2013 by PP
	Anniversary #2 (Preview) This is for all sake and purposes my wedding anniverary .. we would have been married this year for 14 years together for 17. Last year we went and had a date night as we were still together in a very weird way .. however .. it was a disaster. At least that's how I remember it. I had a wonderful meal .. I wan...	Pushka	5	261	Feb 22, 2013 by Pushka
	feeling sick (Preview) My mind has been sick again lately. I've been feeling a bit resentful and intolerant. I think my behaviour is not too bad. Im hiding my feelings but my thinking is horrible. I have no one to blame either. I want these shortcomings removed please.	el-cee	6	281	Feb 22, 2013 by rehprof
	So lost (Preview) I have let myself spend the the day at home alone crying for the first time in ages. This week I visited a lawyer, beginning the divorce process from my AH of 10 years, who has been living on his own for almost 18 months now. During this 18 months, I hoped he would find sobriety and we would make things work. I...	sookie	11	413	Feb 22, 2013 by el-cee
	Why is it??? (Preview) So early this morning I get to thinking, "Why do I care if someone is mad at me?" I can understand the reasononing of the problem, I know I am right. I also know the other person has lied and betrayed people, people where I had to stick up for them, and now you are mad at me because I voiced a truth...	1976love	4	246	Feb 22, 2013 by f2fmember
	Are you 'xxxx' kidding me? (Preview) OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE. My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day. It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's b...	blondie99	6	551	Feb 21, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Handling lies and resulting anger (Preview) I am finding that my biggest issue is my growing anger at the lies I am being told. I know it's the disease he has. I know it's alcoholism. I can tell myself these things until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make me like it any less. I HATE being lied to. It's as simple as that. I have no idea how to liv...	ilovedogs	15	550	Feb 21, 2013 by Cheri_Swanson
	garbage list as temper tantrum (Preview) Hello and good morning, I'm back into active daily program. After the events this weekend i questioned myself a lot, my trust in myself, my self-worth, my anger, my resentments. I went way back low, to feel so much hurt and self-deception. And Jerry recommended to throw a temper tantrum. I had to think...	tortuga	5	366	Feb 21, 2013 by Jennifer
	Max Update & God story... (Preview) My lil' dog, Max is back home!! I had taken him to the vet on Friday, got supportive care, took him home, was okay saturday, sunday started showing signs of not being very well, and Monday morning was non responsive at all. The only thing on his body that he could move was his eyes. He was limp. He spent...	John	6	297	Feb 21, 2013 by Temple
	Relationships and dealing with turmoil (Preview) Thanks for the warm welcomes Right now I am in the midst of turmoil with my AH. He has been clean a year now. I am happy and proud he has remained clean, but that seems to be the only part of his program he is working. He thinks his program is great. I will not take his inventory to him, but have felt the nee...	Breezie	5	543	Feb 21, 2013 by Breezie
	She's Dead (Preview) Hi, I'm new. My alcoholic mother passed away at the age of 53 Feb. 2. She had nothing prepared, left me with a mess and I've finally gotten her laid to rest. I still have to take care of her apartment and bills. I new this day was coming for five years. I knew in the end she would die alone with just me to take car...	ChristineD	12	534	Feb 21, 2013 by ChristineD
	Another day at the vets... (Good News!) (Preview) Hi everyone, First I want to thank everyone for your warm, loving and supportive words as I trudge through this hard time regarding my dog Max. Your letting me just share it here, have a place to dump my heart out means so much to me. I saw Max this morning. And he is doing sooo much better. The vet says he...	John	9	565	Feb 21, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.