Thanks Hotrod. I just write out a 10th step now after having woken up at 3am resentful at myself and others. As Step 10 is for the daytime, many call it The Walking Around Step. I write out either resentments, fears or sex conduct problems in almost the exact same way I wrote in the 4th step. I say a prayer asking God to build with me as He wants and because I've entered the world of the Spirit by step 10 I have a pretty good understanding of who He wants me to be now although I do talk to others about it as I GROW which as you indicated is the main function of Step 10. I could see that I was resentful at my father whose financial help I still need right now. He told me to do nothing about getting a new car then at the last minute he demanded I go find a car NOW and DO IT QUICKLY and return the rental car, I was given 36 hours. This affected certain parts of my Self and I wrote which parts down from the list I was given at Step 4. I bracketed "fear" next to the parts of self affected the strongest. I looked for my Selfishness. I wanted him to stop controlling me so I don't have to deal with his crazy-making. I then looked for my dishonesty. I am crazy-making by reacting and trying to reason with him (for the 10,000th time which falls on deaf ears) instead of just being honest and kind and saying I'll do my best, and then going and doing that one day at a time. If he punishes me for setting boundaries I can take it as it comes. I saw I need to have brief concise communication with them and all the other boundary stuff WITh KINDNESS so I can develop more God-esteem again which comes from esteem able acts. I can also enjoy life each day while I'm doing this regardless of what happens. I think you talked about that. I have total faith that God will keep me unharmed if I follow these principles. I lastly wrote the fear down. I was afraid of being controlled, of setting boundaries, and of being honest (true to my HP) We have choices and I choose peace. A continuing of inventorying is the greatest tool I have other than prayer both of which are essential for working with others. Enjoy your day...I'm gonna enjoy mine now that I've gotten rid of a little more selfishness, resentment and fear and even grown just a bit today.