The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
If your anything like me....I call it a pity party. Why me.....Why can't anyone do something for me. Why do they use me and give me no respect. I'm mad, I'm upset, I'm resentful and I'm not going to take it anymore.
If I have no one to blame it's just me not doing what I should but don't have the mind to change it .....hence.....just mad at myself for not correcting my problem.
I have to take feelings and work on them one by one. What, Why, action to correct. Then I pray about it.
(((( hugs )))) always good to have...
Edit: I think I'm hormonal when I'm like that...
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 21st of February 2013 04:13:49 PM
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 21st of February 2013 04:17:04 PM
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 21st of February 2013 04:26:36 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
My mind has been sick again lately. I've been feeling a bit resentful and intolerant. I think my behaviour is not too bad. Im hiding my feelings but my thinking is horrible. I have no one to blame either. I want these shortcomings removed please.
It sounds as if you are working the 6th Step --"Becoming entirely ready to have HP remove your shortcomings."
I know that is how I finally become ready to let go of my judge mental and critical attitudes. HP showed them to me, in action and I felt how uncomfortable they were making me feel. I no longer enjoyed them and I was ready to move to Step 7.
yes...we adopt certain thinking and behaviors in response to living with active addiction...and then when we detach...or get away from the A, these behaviors which we developed under that crazy situation...seem, well, crazy.
For me it's the martyr thing. When living with my A I always tried to get him to change through guilting him..."look at all I do around here" -- and now I STILL do this when I'm tired and stressed. I'm working on it...but got a ways to go yet...
another example is that when living with active A I was always planning..."if he does this...then I will do this" -- ALWAYS planning ...a Plan A, a Plan B, a Plan C -- because situations were always so unpredictable. Now, even though I don't need to do this anymore, I still do! Again...I'm a work in progress.
in support,
RP
-- Edited by rehprof on Friday 22nd of February 2013 03:39:07 AM
-- Edited by rehprof on Friday 22nd of February 2013 03:41:30 AM
I ditto HotRod... it could be you are becoming entirely ready to have your HP remove the "stuff" that at one time probably made you feel empowered, but now you feel it and it makes you feel sick... it takes your strength, not provides it, it sucks the light from your spirit... its a dark place.
You are doing alright with it... you are asking your Higher Power to remove it... the next thing to do is let Him.
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
El-cee i'm standing at the same corner than you!and i feel so sick and confused to feel frustrated like that,with a lot of anger and resentment....like it was said: a pity part!and since my trust for myself has weakened as well during the events,i'm scared to move forward. So thanks for the comments here...i think i'm ready to be only humble and having taking the negative poisining stuff removed. It's time, i want to be the plain healthy me. More will be revealed and then we will look around that corner and never need to look back! Courage for patience.and feel my compassion, you mustn'tfeel lonely in this. ((((LC)))))
Thank you, yes a pity party. Also, I'm reassured that this is part of step 6. And I'm not alone. I am ready, I do feel. My job I think is to replace my shortcomings with good stuff. I can do it but it's not natural yet. It's amazing that I can see my shortcomings now. I never before, I thought I was always right.lol.x
