The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I read "Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World." Vicki Myron, the author, writes about her marriage to an alcoholic and something I found interesting was, she quotes a Dr. Christine Bell, one of her heroes, as saying: "Everyone has a pain thermometer that goes from zero to ten. No one will make a change until it reaches ten. Nine won't do it. At nine you are still afraid. Only ten will move you. And when you're there, you'll know. No one can make that decision for you."
Myron tells about a friend who was in a horribly abusive relationship. Friends rescued her and set her and her children up in a living situation and the woman returned to her husband in a week or two. Then in a short while she left for good, on her own. When she had reached her ten she was ready to go.
This gave me a way to understand what can seem inexplicable, and reminds me to detach from others' situations. And to stop second-guessing myself. I hope it may be useful to somebody else.
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Yes, I like this Temple, It kind of relates to the whole self will thing. Stop trying to force solutions, give it up to your Higher Power. Thanks for this.
That's a great thought. Works well for both myself and my AD. I may think she should be at ten. She unfortunately may have a ways to go. I THINK I'm at a 10 and detaching from her fully, but that depends on the day also. Some days I feel I'm at a 1. :( Great new way to think about things though. Thank you!
