Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Barbara · Barbara

have you attended an anniversary? did you enjoy it? what happens? any literature available?

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, i just got back from an award ceremony at my son's school. I was sent something a few weeks ago saying he would be presented a special award, which of course made me feel warm inside, and when i found out what it was, i was in tears, below is why. My oldest son is from a previous marriage, a bro...

kitty · kitty

I guess I'm still in shock over the way my mother has acted towards... since my accident Tuesday, she hasn't called to check on me once. All I have done for her, I have done out of love, it just feels like she doesn't love me. If she cannot manipulate me ~ &/or get her way, she is "dis...

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, i know for me, self worth was something i had absolutely none of when i came to alanon. I think many if not most alanoners seem to say or find the same thing when they work their steps, so i was wondering if some could share their es&h on what they did to gain self worth? Would love to...

Powerless · Powerless

Over the past few days I feel myself changing more. I have been coming here for quite some time, but he I have made more progress this weekend than I ever had. My husband did not give me his while check on Friday as he normally does and I did not ask for it. I know that the money he kept went...

maresie · maresie

I just finished watching the Mrs. Harris film on HBO. I thought it was a great reminder of many of the issues I still face. I could relate tremendously to being seduced by, lied to, have the goal posts changed and more by a man who I felt tremendous ambivalence about and who I swifly became very atta...

lilleah · lilleah

why am I so angry with my a? he hasn't been out in a long time, and he even let me go out last week. So why, when he told me he was going out tonight after work, did I get so angry? I shouldn't be. I thought maybe it was because he waited until the last minute again, but I know that if he would have told me sooner, tha...

Diane43 · Diane43

I can't take the rejection, humiliation and bs of this relationship any longer... I called him last nite to talk, but think he is avoiding my calls.. I remained calm and left a message for him to call me back. Until I put closure to this, I can't move on. I would really...

ashraven · ashraven

Well, the subject is a bit obvious...lol. I'm wondering how to go about finding an Alanon sponsor. I know I need one, but I have no idea where to begin looking.

Becky1 · Becky1

As I have said in the chatroom, I adore Keith Urban, country singer. Last year, when hub and I were separated for almost 4 months due to a restraining order, I bought his CD, and I about played this song to death. It helps me when I start panicking about if my A husband and I will stay married or not (...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Feeling my feelings I know is a good sign that I'm healing and recovering, but boy the change in emotions from day to day is so extreme. Yesterday, I was exhaused, I have not been sleeping very well. I spoke with my "a" on the phone and his mood was happy and carefree. The evening befor...

Maria123 · Maria123

I got by with a lil help from MY friend too (tee hee) and one of the nicest things that happened was that my boss said "wow I really like your paper; it's really interesting. She's the daughter of an A and has a ton of isms (tee hee). She asked what the 12 steps were (lol). Alcoholi...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I have posted several times about my a husband and I being seperated. It has been 4 months this time around. We have been together for four years and married two years. From the beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think that I am ready to let the ride end.&...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

Thanks to all who gave me the inspiration to go to my meeting last night, despite not being in th mood. It was, of course, a terrific meeting. Part 1 of step 4. Attitudes. It was actually really inspiring, and I did as some suggested and talked about the good things going on in m...

maresie · maresie

My counselor has been going over with me how much alcoholism there was in my family of origin. Last night (I am beginning to enjoy my dreams now rather than dread them) I rememberd going to my sister's house. My younger sister who I always felt I missed out a relationship with...

Ria · Ria

Hi everyone, I'm not only new to this site but new on-line too. It's a challenge to do something different and so far I'm loving it! I've been in Al-anon UK for over 5yrs and my A has been clean and sober for 2yrs 6months, a day at a time. For this I'm truly grateful. Howe...

penny · penny

Just as i expected, I got home from work to find my A lay on the sofa having a love affair with a bottle vodka. For now the obscenities have'nt started but I am sure they will come. When I walked through the door my stomach was in complete turmoil, I saw him and felt sick, numb with disb...

Diane43 · Diane43

Good morning everyone, I woke up this morning feeling anxious and having anxiety. This guy who I have been seeing went out last weekend to a benefit, and he was totally wasted. He had fallen down, wanted to fight and gave my 20-year-old son 20.00, then tried to co...

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, thought i'd share these lyrics with you, i thought they were beautiful. The singer is Kenny Chesney, composers are Jason Sellers and Michael Dulaney. It's called "Some people change" and is off kenny's "when the sun goes down" cd. love ya all, trina Some People Change His ol...

bob6502 · bob6502

Dear friends, "Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment...Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that onl...

ashraven · ashraven

I did everything I could to help my A stop drinking but it all has been fruitless. He doesn't even seem to care about quitting anymore. I'm about to give up on him. I just don't know what else to do.

kitty · kitty

By now u all know I had an accident in the wee hrs tuesday around 2am... car ran me off the road, I hit the curb & am left beatned in the face, cracked windscreen, in shock. Rushed to the ER, couldn't raise my parent's for the world from 4-6 am, finall y 7 got a friend to come colllect me. Dunno as o...

Debbie Lee · Debbie Lee

MARCH 11 "I've chosen my epitaph," says an Al-Anon friend. "I want it to read, 'He's finally minding his own business.''' We laugh, enjoying some relief in contemplating the lighter side of a serious subject, those defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes o...

hudsond · hudsond

Today as I have read several posts (not just today really, but for the past couple of months as well) I just feel like I grew up in a bubble! My family was so different from those that I read about on this site. We grew up in the church-I'm not sure there was an alcoholic/addict of any kind in my f...

mebjk · mebjk

Hello, all, I thank you all for being here. At the same time, I have a question to ask of all of us on this forum. I know, from my years in Alanon, that true recovery happens when we work the steps with a sponsor. The Steps are a miracle, because our HP helps us to work them,and actually does the work, in my...

Robinks · Robinks

Hi everyone - I really need some group prayers. My son is going to stay with his dad for 10 days, spring break, I am sad. To make this time tougher, a woman has been calling my cell phone and leaving lovey dovey messages. I worked though that, then today one of my crazy neighbors that has filed...

Christy · Christy

(((Dear friends)))) As I began to post, I told my husband how all of you were so supportive and prayed for us both throughout the last month. He said: Please tell them that I am very grateful and that I sure do appreciate their prayers, I believe it worked. He is still pretty frail bu...

ditto · ditto

The story begins with R, an internet friend who is coming to visit me. He wished to go out to dinner with us on Saturday night, so I made reservations for 3 at Seasons 52. On Thursday R called to ask if he could change the plans and meet us on Friday. I agreed to this. But, then I had the quandry as to what...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

March 9 Small Things "In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills."Basic Text, p. 87 Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who for...

whitie · whitie

After work today I went back to "our house" to sign our tax returns. I also had a chance to pick up a few of my belonging while I was there. Most importantly I was looking for my journal that I've searched high and low for since Oct. when I left. I finally found it in a box on the book shelf and was able to get...

maresie · maresie

For me al-anon is about using the muscle I build up and practice practice practice. I have been practising not fighting with the A trying to be cooperative and being civil. For that I have been greatly inspired by people in this room. I cannot do this work in a vacuum I need support, I need feedback...

lin0606 · lin0606

My husband is out of town for the winter, working up north. He's been doing this or some variant of it for years, we are used to it, so that's not the problem (though it is starting to get lonesome). His mother is very ill, and may be dying. There is a lot of old stuff between him and his sister, and this si...

ditto · ditto

I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have had a number of people that I loved die. So, I understand the impact of death. And normally I am empatheic when I learn that someone has died because I know what it is to grieve. An A and his friends went to a bar. It was not enough fo...

nmike · nmike

Hi, I am snowed in in a rural area. I was going to go to town and do some errands and do something nice for myself. I also need more medication for face - pre-cancerous cells treatment. Because of the change of plans I can feel myself trying to sink into self pity and really start blaming my A for leaving me...

Powerless · Powerless

I went to Barnes and Noble today to buy Courage to Change, but when I came home I realized I bought the wrong one. I'm going to read it anyway. I bought two other recovery books, but am not sure if I can say what they are. One is a daily meditation book about the twelve steps. I just...

maresie · maresie

My life has changed course recently in that I am working out there in the world. I can see how easily it is for me to get off course of my centeredness and much of it seems to be in picking up a resentment and not letting go of it. There are so many ways I can hold onto it. The way I get served at Starbucks, a slight...

been on both sides · been on both sides

Okay, new here. First time ever posting on a message board. Please be kind. Been reading posts for several days now. As my name says "been on both sides" I am an A. Don't hate me yet. Working on my recovery. And now living with a full blown A. He's on a rampage right now. Tearing thru our storage. To find a shi...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Once they have attained sobriety and are working the steps, going to AA and show the want to stay sober, what are the right and wrong things for us al-anoners to do? I know we still concentrate on ourselves and do our thing, but what else? Do we offer to go to meetings with them, or talk about t...

canadianguy · canadianguy

So as of yesterday, March 9, I am officially divorced. The papers were (finally) filed last month, and the official date has come and gone. Yesterday was a bit of a reflective day for me, but not one of particular sadness. In many ways, I think I 'grieved' the failure/loss of my marriage...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was told here when brand new that I wanted to look for someone who knew the program and LIVED the program, someone active in it and whose ESH (experience, strength, hope) I liked. There were a couple women at my ftf (face to face) group who I had my eye on, by listening to their story I could see how f...

myst n rayne · myst n rayne

The last few nights I have been kept awake buy these burning questions... Why do we call it a disease? Is it not a choice? How does my A choose not to drink for a day or a week? I lost my dad to cancer a year ago...he could not choose to be cancer free for a day, a week, but my A...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

dear all, I replyed to d day post last night and then read on to find another earlier one. I can't tell you how comforting it was to see how many here have A-kids. I waswondering as I've hung around recently if there were more than spouses on this site.I needed so bad to see this. I have an A-dau and A-mom. I...

rtexas · rtexas

Last night my A asked how long it would take for me to do this program? Well... It is not a summer school class and I don't have a schedule for graduation.... <sigh> I told her I had spent 41 years getting this way and there is no telling how long it will take me to get back. She still res...

expatanneli · expatanneli

My daughter is not going into treatment. She has spent the last week drunk every day and has made no arrangements to go into the center. Everything as usual is a lie and all she wants is for someone to rescue her and take care of her. She doesn't seem to be able to do...

rtexas · rtexas

Ok, until I get a sponsor... I have a question. "Admitted we are powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." I am fully in bed with the unmanageable life part... lock stock and barrell. "Admitted I am powerless over alcohol..." I admit it, and my scientific self completly ag...

lebe27 · lebe27

Help! Just got new computer and have AOL 9.0 on it. When try to get in using mipchat.net get Miracles in Progress screen but fails to load. Just shows small red x at top left of screen even though says Done at bottom. When try to get in thru 12stepforums.net can get main screen and me...

Christy · Christy

Hello my dear friends.. All those prayers worked!!! Yesterday when I went to see hubby he was mentally back :) (almost) He was sitting up eating, and said "HI, little one". That was sooooo good to hear. He has said that to me for years so I knew he was feeliing much better. He asked if I'd help hi...

kitty · kitty

As much as I surender to God's will & not my own... I had fallen into worrying & projecting this weekend. Having some old 'stinkin' thinking' going on... and i get run off of the road!!! So I have to think about today & not worry about what will become of me, all it does i...

emma · emma

Has anyone else run into this -- in the last few weeks I very casually met someone, who after only speaking to them a very few minutes, certainly less than an hour during a meeting with 4 other people there, I was just bowled over with attraction. I didn't even know this person, and it was like I was knocked...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I have my f2f meeting tonight. I missed it last week. I don't really feel like going anymore. My a has been much better lately, though I know he is not permenantly better. I feel like I am falling off a diet, you know? Things are fine so I just don't want to go. ...

maresie · maresie

From day one I was always far more there for the A than he ever was for me. He only had to hint at financial difficulty and I stepped in. I prided myself on that he did not need to ask. He needed new clothes I bought them for him. I liked to try to anticipate his needs. These days I work on anticip...

expatanneli · expatanneli

I knew about Alanon many years ago. I even went to a couple of meetings but felt sure I could handle my problems myself. After all I am an educated woman. Surely I can do this on my own. Well, I know I can't. My 33 year old daughter has ste...

Becky1 · Becky1

I have been participating in the chatroom and message board since Jan. 1 of this year. I went to Alanon f2f 19 years ago, for about a year, but divorced the A, so figured I didn't need it. So, who am I married to now? Another A! I am also ACOA, father died when I was 16 from cirrhosis of the liver....

Becky1 · Becky1

I need some serious prayers, all. I have had the same job for 19 years, now they are firing all kinds of people for anything. I have always had good attendance, but in Sept. I missed 3 days, and the end of Feb. I missed a week. All due to stress from living with an A. I was in hospital in Sept. for s...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

my life has been a complete mess the past week or so. i have had no time to come on this message board even. i can feel everything going out of control because i havent had time for the program. i got to a f2f on monday and i felt good, its thursday morning and im a wreck. i know i need to phone my sponsor but am ter...

gardengal · gardengal

Sooner or later the alcoholic's behaviour makes other people angry. As we realize that the alcoholic is telling lies, using us, and not taking care of responisibilities, we may begin to feel that the alcoholic doesnt love us, We often want to strike back, punish, and make the alcoholic pay for the hur...

kitty · kitty

Well, I was involved in a car acident lst night, got banged up pretty badly... spent the night in ER. Nothing broken, thank God... I swerved & hit the right hand side curb, busting my tired, the air bag deployed & cut me up quite a bit. I'm all sore & bruised & very tired bu...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I'm soooo frustrated with dealing with my A. He is insane. I look at him and think, YOU ARE INSANE. Is it no wonder that I'm crazy??? We are suppose to be separating (legally). We've been physicially living apart for a year and a half. We see each other 3 time a wee...

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, i shared this poem on the board about a year or so ago, and a friend was asking me about a little while back. Thought i'd post it here for her and the newer members that maybe might like it to. LET GO As children bring thier broken toys- with tears- for us to mend, I brought my broken dream...

Hopefloats · Hopefloats

Ok I need some help with clarifying the role of a victim. I'm confused as usual. As victims we are intent on proving our rightness. Therefore we blame others and or circumstances that suit OUR NEEDS to justify our behavior in a given situation. Which makes us a victim of others or unlucky circumstanc...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AlAnon anniversary meeting (Preview) have you attended an anniversary? did you enjoy it? what happens? any literature available?	Barbara	1	290	Mar 13, 2006 by abbyal
	my precious son (Preview) hi all, i just got back from an award ceremony at my son's school. I was sent something a few weeks ago saying he would be presented a special award, which of course made me feel warm inside, and when i found out what it was, i was in tears, below is why. My oldest son is from a previous marriage, a bro...	mastiff	15	581	Mar 12, 2006 by Jayda
	Bittersweet (Preview) I guess I'm still in shock over the way my mother has acted towards... since my accident Tuesday, she hasn't called to check on me once. All I have done for her, I have done out of love, it just feels like she doesn't love me. If she cannot manipulate me ~ &/or get her way, she is "dis...	kitty	4	304	Mar 12, 2006 by kitty
	Self Worth- what do you do for it? (Preview) hi all, i know for me, self worth was something i had absolutely none of when i came to alanon. I think many if not most alanoners seem to say or find the same thing when they work their steps, so i was wondering if some could share their es&h on what they did to gain self worth? Would love to...	mastiff	8	605	Mar 12, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Changing my Behaviors (Preview) Over the past few days I feel myself changing more. I have been coming here for quite some time, but he I have made more progress this weekend than I ever had. My husband did not give me his while check on Friday as he normally does and I did not ask for it. I know that the money he kept went...	Powerless	4	309	Mar 12, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Mrs Harris (Preview) I just finished watching the Mrs. Harris film on HBO. I thought it was a great reminder of many of the issues I still face. I could relate tremendously to being seduced by, lied to, have the goal posts changed and more by a man who I felt tremendous ambivalence about and who I swifly became very atta...	maresie	0	274	Mar 12, 2006 by maresie
	why am I so angry? (Preview) why am I so angry with my a? he hasn't been out in a long time, and he even let me go out last week. So why, when he told me he was going out tonight after work, did I get so angry? I shouldn't be. I thought maybe it was because he waited until the last minute again, but I know that if he would have told me sooner, tha...	lilleah	7	474	Mar 12, 2006 by d53sjurne
	This has to stop (Preview) I can't take the rejection, humiliation and bs of this relationship any longer... I called him last nite to talk, but think he is avoiding my calls.. I remained calm and left a message for him to call me back. Until I put closure to this, I can't move on. I would really...	Diane43	11	415	Mar 12, 2006 by diamond
	How to find a sponser (Preview) Well, the subject is a bit obvious...lol. I'm wondering how to go about finding an Alanon sponsor. I know I need one, but I have no idea where to begin looking.	ashraven	5	300	Mar 12, 2006 by maresie
	Music that helps me deal (Preview) As I have said in the chatroom, I adore Keith Urban, country singer. Last year, when hub and I were separated for almost 4 months due to a restraining order, I bought his CD, and I about played this song to death. It helps me when I start panicking about if my A husband and I will stay married or not (...	Becky1	0	305	Mar 12, 2006 by Becky1
	Feeling lost and angry... (Preview) Feeling my feelings I know is a good sign that I'm healing and recovering, but boy the change in emotions from day to day is so extreme. Yesterday, I was exhaused, I have not been sleeping very well. I spoke with my "a" on the phone and his mood was happy and carefree. The evening befor...	twinmom2	3	429	Mar 12, 2006 by maresie
	I got an A on my thesis paper - bout effects of Alcoholism (long) (Preview) I got by with a lil help from MY friend too (tee hee) and one of the nicest things that happened was that my boss said "wow I really like your paper; it's really interesting. She's the daughter of an A and has a ton of isms (tee hee). She asked what the 12 steps were (lol). Alcoholi...	Maria123	8	1018	Mar 12, 2006 by gardengal
	Letting myself feel the pain (Preview) I have posted several times about my a husband and I being seperated. It has been 4 months this time around. We have been together for four years and married two years. From the beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think that I am ready to let the ride end.&...	JulieLynn	7	368	Mar 12, 2006 by Maria123
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks to all who gave me the inspiration to go to my meeting last night, despite not being in th mood. It was, of course, a terrific meeting. Part 1 of step 4. Attitudes. It was actually really inspiring, and I did as some suggested and talked about the good things going on in m...	paintthinnr	3	273	Mar 12, 2006 by Maria123
	becoming a caretaker (Preview) My counselor has been going over with me how much alcoholism there was in my family of origin. Last night (I am beginning to enjoy my dreams now rather than dread them) I rememberd going to my sister's house. My younger sister who I always felt I missed out a relationship with...	maresie	7	629	Mar 12, 2006 by Diane43
	Just For Today... I will have a program (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm not only new to this site but new on-line too. It's a challenge to do something different and so far I'm loving it! I've been in Al-anon UK for over 5yrs and my A has been clean and sober for 2yrs 6months, a day at a time. For this I'm truly grateful. Howe...	Ria	4	324	Mar 12, 2006 by Maria123
	Keeping Busy (Preview) Just as i expected, I got home from work to find my A lay on the sofa having a love affair with a bottle vodka. For now the obscenities have'nt started but I am sure they will come. When I walked through the door my stomach was in complete turmoil, I saw him and felt sick, numb with disb...	penny	7	404	Mar 12, 2006 by Diane43
	Feeling anxious this morning (Preview) Good morning everyone, I woke up this morning feeling anxious and having anxiety. This guy who I have been seeing went out last weekend to a benefit, and he was totally wasted. He had fallen down, wanted to fight and gave my 20-year-old son 20.00, then tried to co...	Diane43	5	430	Mar 12, 2006 by Diane43
	lyrics (Preview) hi all, thought i'd share these lyrics with you, i thought they were beautiful. The singer is Kenny Chesney, composers are Jason Sellers and Michael Dulaney. It's called "Some people change" and is off kenny's "when the sun goes down" cd. love ya all, trina Some People Change His ol...	mastiff	5	320	Mar 12, 2006 by Becky1
	Courage to Change, July 9 (Preview) Dear friends, "Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment...Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that onl...	bob6502	2	1067	Mar 12, 2006 by nmike
	Giving up (Preview) I did everything I could to help my A stop drinking but it all has been fruitless. He doesn't even seem to care about quitting anymore. I'm about to give up on him. I just don't know what else to do.	ashraven	4	351	Mar 11, 2006 by ashraven
	bitter moments (mom, ugh) (Preview) By now u all know I had an accident in the wee hrs tuesday around 2am... car ran me off the road, I hit the curb & am left beatned in the face, cracked windscreen, in shock. Rushed to the ER, couldn't raise my parent's for the world from 4-6 am, finall y 7 got a friend to come colllect me. Dunno as o...	kitty	7	477	Mar 11, 2006 by cedarpines
	March 11th Courage to Change (Preview) MARCH 11 "I've chosen my epitaph," says an Al-Anon friend. "I want it to read, 'He's finally minding his own business.''' We laugh, enjoying some relief in contemplating the lighter side of a serious subject, those defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes o...	Debbie Lee	2	1627	Mar 11, 2006 by d53sjurne
	Feel like I grew up in a bubble! (Preview) Today as I have read several posts (not just today really, but for the past couple of months as well) I just feel like I grew up in a bubble! My family was so different from those that I read about on this site. We grew up in the church-I'm not sure there was an alcoholic/addict of any kind in my f...	hudsond	3	349	Mar 11, 2006 by Ria
	Working the Steps? (Preview) Hello, all, I thank you all for being here. At the same time, I have a question to ask of all of us on this forum. I know, from my years in Alanon, that true recovery happens when we work the steps with a sponsor. The Steps are a miracle, because our HP helps us to work them,and actually does the work, in my...	mebjk	5	291	Mar 11, 2006 by Powerless
	Please Pray For Me (Preview) Hi everyone - I really need some group prayers. My son is going to stay with his dad for 10 days, spring break, I am sad. To make this time tougher, a woman has been calling my cell phone and leaving lovey dovey messages. I worked though that, then today one of my crazy neighbors that has filed...	Robinks	9	463	Mar 11, 2006 by alanon_2002
	Hubby came home today :) (Preview) (((Dear friends)))) As I began to post, I told my husband how all of you were so supportive and prayed for us both throughout the last month. He said: Please tell them that I am very grateful and that I sure do appreciate their prayers, I believe it worked. He is still pretty frail bu...	Christy	11	362	Mar 11, 2006 by bob6502
	What is wrong with him?! (Preview) The story begins with R, an internet friend who is coming to visit me. He wished to go out to dinner with us on Saturday night, so I made reservations for 3 at Seasons 52. On Thursday R called to ask if he could change the plans and meet us on Friday. I agreed to this. But, then I had the quandry as to what...	ditto	3	289	Mar 11, 2006 by peewee
	nickel - dime aggravation (Preview) March 9 Small Things "In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills."Basic Text, p. 87 Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who for...	rosie light shines	3	353	Mar 11, 2006 by Ria
	the wretched journey (Preview) After work today I went back to "our house" to sign our tax returns. I also had a chance to pick up a few of my belonging while I was there. Most importantly I was looking for my journal that I've searched high and low for since Oct. when I left. I finally found it in a box on the book shelf and was able to get...	whitie	5	559	Mar 11, 2006 by mebjk
	not starting the war (Preview) For me al-anon is about using the muscle I build up and practice practice practice. I have been practising not fighting with the A trying to be cooperative and being civil. For that I have been greatly inspired by people in this room. I cannot do this work in a vacuum I need support, I need feedback...	maresie	2	318	Mar 11, 2006 by BlueCloud
	A Reminder (Preview) My husband is out of town for the winter, working up north. He's been doing this or some variant of it for years, we are used to it, so that's not the problem (though it is starting to get lonesome). His mother is very ill, and may be dying. There is a lot of old stuff between him and his sister, and this si...	lin0606	3	265	Mar 11, 2006 by mebjk
	A sad tale (Preview) I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have had a number of people that I loved die. So, I understand the impact of death. And normally I am empatheic when I learn that someone has died because I know what it is to grieve. An A and his friends went to a bar. It was not enough fo...	ditto	2	282	Mar 11, 2006 by d53sjurne
	Determined to have a good time.... (Preview) Hi, I am snowed in in a rural area. I was going to go to town and do some errands and do something nice for myself. I also need more medication for face - pre-cancerous cells treatment. Because of the change of plans I can feel myself trying to sink into self pity and really start blaming my A for leaving me...	nmike	4	364	Mar 11, 2006 by aunitedway
	Bought the wrong book (Preview) I went to Barnes and Noble today to buy Courage to Change, but when I came home I realized I bought the wrong one. I'm going to read it anyway. I bought two other recovery books, but am not sure if I can say what they are. One is a daily meditation book about the twelve steps. I just...	Powerless	6	439	Mar 11, 2006 by nmike
	staying centered (Preview) My life has changed course recently in that I am working out there in the world. I can see how easily it is for me to get off course of my centeredness and much of it seems to be in picking up a resentment and not letting go of it. There are so many ways I can hold onto it. The way I get served at Starbucks, a slight...	maresie	3	255	Mar 11, 2006 by d53sjurne
	looking for a place to go (Preview) Okay, new here. First time ever posting on a message board. Please be kind. Been reading posts for several days now. As my name says "been on both sides" I am an A. Don't hate me yet. Working on my recovery. And now living with a full blown A. He's on a rampage right now. Tearing thru our storage. To find a shi...	been on both sides	11	439	Mar 11, 2006 by aunitedway
	What is the right or wrong thing to do living with someone in recovery (Preview) Once they have attained sobriety and are working the steps, going to AA and show the want to stay sober, what are the right and wrong things for us al-anoners to do? I know we still concentrate on ourselves and do our thing, but what else? Do we offer to go to meetings with them, or talk about t...	sdisnie	5	435	Mar 10, 2006 by Ria
	It was just another day... (Preview) So as of yesterday, March 9, I am officially divorced. The papers were (finally) filed last month, and the official date has come and gone. Yesterday was a bit of a reflective day for me, but not one of particular sadness. In many ways, I think I 'grieved' the failure/loss of my marriage...	canadianguy	8	554	Mar 10, 2006 by Maria123
	In asking for a sponsor... (Preview) I was told here when brand new that I wanted to look for someone who knew the program and LIVED the program, someone active in it and whose ESH (experience, strength, hope) I liked. There were a couple women at my ftf (face to face) group who I had my eye on, by listening to their story I could see how f...	kismetstrand	5	411	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
	concerning question need your help! (Preview) The last few nights I have been kept awake buy these burning questions... Why do we call it a disease? Is it not a choice? How does my A choose not to drink for a day or a week? I lost my dad to cancer a year ago...he could not choose to be cancer free for a day, a week, but my A...	myst n rayne	8	514	Mar 10, 2006 by Ria
	My A-child,A-Mom,A-bro broke me (Preview) dear all, I replyed to d day post last night and then read on to find another earlier one. I can't tell you how comforting it was to see how many here have A-kids. I waswondering as I've hung around recently if there were more than spouses on this site.I needed so bad to see this. I have an A-dau and A-mom. I...	d53sjurne	4	457	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
	Changing me is soo hard... (Preview) Last night my A asked how long it would take for me to do this program? Well... It is not a summer school class and I don't have a schedule for graduation.... <sigh> I told her I had spent 41 years getting this way and there is no telling how long it will take me to get back. She still res...	rtexas	7	713	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
	D day is tomorrow. Am I doing the right thing? (Preview) My daughter is not going into treatment. She has spent the last week drunk every day and has made no arrangements to go into the center. Everything as usual is a lie and all she wants is for someone to rescue her and take care of her. She doesn't seem to be able to do...	expatanneli	8	347	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
	Step 1 (Preview) Ok, until I get a sponsor... I have a question. "Admitted we are powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." I am fully in bed with the unmanageable life part... lock stock and barrell. "Admitted I am powerless over alcohol..." I admit it, and my scientific self completly ag...	rtexas	8	376	Mar 10, 2006 by d53sjurne
	Can't get on Chat (Preview) Help! Just got new computer and have AOL 9.0 on it. When try to get in using mipchat.net get Miracles in Progress screen but fails to load. Just shows small red x at top left of screen even though says Done at bottom. When try to get in thru 12stepforums.net can get main screen and me...	lebe27	3	286	Mar 9, 2006 by lebe27
	Wonderful news!!!! (Preview) Hello my dear friends.. All those prayers worked!!! Yesterday when I went to see hubby he was mentally back :) (almost) He was sitting up eating, and said "HI, little one". That was sooooo good to hear. He has said that to me for years so I knew he was feeliing much better. He asked if I'd help hi...	Christy	12	403	Mar 9, 2006 by peewee
	God's Will be done! (Preview) As much as I surender to God's will & not my own... I had fallen into worrying & projecting this weekend. Having some old 'stinkin' thinking' going on... and i get run off of the road!!! So I have to think about today & not worry about what will become of me, all it does i...	kitty	5	317	Mar 9, 2006 by peewee
	attraction (Preview) Has anyone else run into this -- in the last few weeks I very casually met someone, who after only speaking to them a very few minutes, certainly less than an hour during a meeting with 4 other people there, I was just bowled over with attraction. I didn't even know this person, and it was like I was knocked...	emma	7	427	Mar 9, 2006 by emma
	lacking motivation (Preview) I have my f2f meeting tonight. I missed it last week. I don't really feel like going anymore. My a has been much better lately, though I know he is not permenantly better. I feel like I am falling off a diet, you know? Things are fine so I just don't want to go. ...	paintthinnr	9	299	Mar 9, 2006 by gardengal
	in direct communications (Preview) From day one I was always far more there for the A than he ever was for me. He only had to hint at financial difficulty and I stepped in. I prided myself on that he did not need to ask. He needed new clothes I bought them for him. I liked to try to anticipate his needs. These days I work on anticip...	maresie	3	241	Mar 9, 2006 by maresie
	Why did I wait so long? (Preview) I knew about Alanon many years ago. I even went to a couple of meetings but felt sure I could handle my problems myself. After all I am an educated woman. Surely I can do this on my own. Well, I know I can't. My 33 year old daughter has ste...	expatanneli	13	499	Mar 9, 2006 by expatanneli
	Sponsor needed (Preview) I have been participating in the chatroom and message board since Jan. 1 of this year. I went to Alanon f2f 19 years ago, for about a year, but divorced the A, so figured I didn't need it. So, who am I married to now? Another A! I am also ACOA, father died when I was 16 from cirrhosis of the liver....	Becky1	1	251	Mar 9, 2006 by aunitedway
	My Job (Preview) I need some serious prayers, all. I have had the same job for 19 years, now they are firing all kinds of people for anything. I have always had good attendance, but in Sept. I missed 3 days, and the end of Feb. I missed a week. All due to stress from living with an A. I was in hospital in Sept. for s...	Becky1	8	324	Mar 9, 2006 by myst n rayne
	trying to find time (Preview) my life has been a complete mess the past week or so. i have had no time to come on this message board even. i can feel everything going out of control because i havent had time for the program. i got to a f2f on monday and i felt good, its thursday morning and im a wreck. i know i need to phone my sponsor but am ter...	notsonew1111	4	231	Mar 9, 2006 by aunitedway
	Feelings of anger, denial, guilt (Preview) Sooner or later the alcoholic's behaviour makes other people angry. As we realize that the alcoholic is telling lies, using us, and not taking care of responisibilities, we may begin to feel that the alcoholic doesnt love us, We often want to strike back, punish, and make the alcoholic pay for the hur...	gardengal	4	555	Mar 9, 2006 by aunitedway
	car accident (Preview) Well, I was involved in a car acident lst night, got banged up pretty badly... spent the night in ER. Nothing broken, thank God... I swerved & hit the right hand side curb, busting my tired, the air bag deployed & cut me up quite a bit. I'm all sore & bruised & very tired bu...	kitty	14	346	Mar 9, 2006 by twinmom2
	He's insane (Preview) I'm soooo frustrated with dealing with my A. He is insane. I look at him and think, YOU ARE INSANE. Is it no wonder that I'm crazy??? We are suppose to be separating (legally). We've been physicially living apart for a year and a half. We see each other 3 time a wee...	Lunamoth	9	572	Mar 9, 2006 by kitty
	Letting Go - an awesome poem (Preview) hi all, i shared this poem on the board about a year or so ago, and a friend was asking me about a little while back. Thought i'd post it here for her and the newer members that maybe might like it to. LET GO As children bring thier broken toys- with tears- for us to mend, I brought my broken dream...	mastiff	2	554	Mar 9, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Playing the victim, blaming (Preview) Ok I need some help with clarifying the role of a victim. I'm confused as usual. As victims we are intent on proving our rightness. Therefore we blame others and or circumstances that suit OUR NEEDS to justify our behavior in a given situation. Which makes us a victim of others or unlucky circumstanc...	Hopefloats	8	1072	Mar 9, 2006 by Hopefloats
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.