Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

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Post Info TOPIC: Sponsorship, Hope for Today, Feb. 11th


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 659
Date:
Sponsorship, Hope for Today, Feb. 11th


" I really struggled with the process of finding a sponsor.  I felt as if I were asking somone to be my friend.  If I had to ask then I didn't really need that kind of friend.  However, what I yearned for was somone with whom I could talk deeply and who would receive my confidences with respect and trustworthiness.  I finally asked a long-time member from my home group whose sharing often touched me.  She told me she would be my sponsor as long as I worked the program.


As we moved through the relationship-building process, my sponsor demonstrated acceptance and love toward me.  At that point, I didn't love and accept myself, and here she was giving me the very gifts I was so sure I didn't deserve.  I grew to trust my sponsor without hesitation by gauging her reactions as I shared increasingly intimate thoughts and feeling.  Each time I revealed a fact I was certain would fill her with disgust, she surpised me by sharing something similar from her past or by asking me a question that framed my behaviour in a self-loving light.  She never judged or berated me.


I fought her very hard.  Somtimes I would pick fights so that maybe she would go away, but she never did.  So I kept haning on because I liked the good feelings that came from being cherished.  Eventually, I came to realize that I did deserve to be treated with love and respect, and I started to act accordingly."


Thought for the day


Asking for help can be hard, but what I miss out on if I don't ask can be even harder.


"In fact, for many of us, the respect and caring we shared with our sponsor grew so great that we hardly recognized the moment when we were saying, 'my sponsor' and thinking, 'my friend.'" Sponsorship, what It's all About, p.2


I'd just like to add that if you ask someone to be your sponsor and later you feel it isn't the right "fit," that it is okay.  Someone grounded in the program will not (or shouldn't) take offense.  They will want what is best for you and your program. 



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Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 274
Date:

Hi, Lunamoth,
Thank you so much for this reading, lunamoth. I have found sponsorship to be one of the miracles of the Alanon program. Like the sponsor in the reading, the sponsors i have had really moved me toward self love, which I needed more than anything else. And both times, my HP chose my sponsors, I'm sure of it! I asked my hp to find someone for me, and when I finally surrendered, the person appeared!
Have a great day in Alanon!
Blessings,
mebjk

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mebjk
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