The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
By now u all know I had an accident in the wee hrs tuesday around 2am... car ran me off the road, I hit the curb & am left beatned in the face, cracked windscreen, in shock.
Rushed to the ER, couldn't raise my parent's for the world from 4-6 am, finall y 7 got a friend to come colllect me. Dunno as of yet, if the car is"worth saving, apparently the undercarraige suffered the worst.
Well today is Friday... my mother has not called to chack on me or seen me, in fact she was at the condos here yesterday & had the nerve to ask a drunk old man how I looked ~ he didn't even know I was in accident/ER.
As much as I am growing apart, it just slays me that she is so stuck on this shinking ship that she can't simply love me in return.
As long as I was a teenager, she has sd, "I want symbiosis" which means if I am not her performing moneky, she wants nothing to do with me.
Nuts to it! I have to save my love for me, K throws in the towel!
I did write an angry letter bringing up some passed junk that has been coming up lately, it helped to get it out of my mind & off my heart... just LOVE those letters never to be seen or sent! Very cathartic, now, God help me to move on! I offer her to you willingly & me too I surrender!
love, -Kitty of Light
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
kitty: I have had those moments with family. Last time I was in the hospital for an asthma attack. My family were just interested in whether I was there or not. No offers of nothing. When I was in the hospital before that (for an infection) I did not tell them. But I did note a message on the answering machine from my boyfriend's mother "oh I hope you are not out to see her again". I did not take it into account then. Now if I heard a message like that my boundaries would go up like a shot. Then they did not.
I am not suprised we are boundaryless for so so long around our families of origin after all we were not permitted to have boundaries as a child. In recovery we get them. We get them slowly but we get them for ever. I am so glad that I get to share this journey of boundary making with you Kitty. They are very precious things and especially with a cruel mean family who "use" us they are so so key.
How frightening! You know that your HP loves you and is there for you when you need it. I am coming to terms with my mother. She has one big wall up and takes care of herself first. Second, when it appears that she is helping it really is just manipulative to take care of herself. I am learning to set bigger boundaries with her.
I'm sad to hear you were in an accident. Are you ok? Good for you for writing those letters and working through issues about your mom. I'm sorry for your pain. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
Hahahahhaaaa Josey & ty to all who replied... it DOES mean a lot, when one is struggling & hurting & reaching out!