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Post Info TOPIC: What is wrong with him?!


Senior Member

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Posts: 130
Date:
What is wrong with him?!


The story begins with R, an internet friend who is coming to visit me. He wished to go out to dinner with us on Saturday night, so I made reservations for 3 at Seasons 52.

On Thursday R called to ask if he could change the plans and meet us on Friday. I agreed to this. But, then I had the quandry as to what to do about reservations because they are impossible to get on one day's notice. We are in the heart of Restaurant Row. All the 5-star restaurants are here within walking distance. And, they are always booked solidly months in advance. There are very few family-style restaurants and you can't get in to them on a Friday because they are the only affordable place for young families to go to.

As it happened, and I think it was by divine intervention, one of the waiters from a top restaurant came into the store on Thursday. We had a nice chat and I told him that I needed a reservation and he promised that he would get me a reservation for 3 in his section... and he did. Well, R called to say that he wanted to change his mind again, and that he wished to keep everything as originally planned for Saturday. The A said that he wanted to go to the restaurant on Friday anyway. And, so we did.

We were immediately shown to a secluded dining room. We were shown to the table in the very center of the room. On the table orchids had been artfully placed across the entire table. Only one other table had the orchids on it. On each plate there was a beautiful arrangement of sushi. Only this table had the sushi on it.

The A took one look at the table and declared that he didn't like it and that he wanted to sit across the room by the window. We were given some very odd stares, but the A's request was granted. The A then wondered aloud why the table we were sitting at was not decorated with flowers or sushi. I was left to explain to him that the center table was a place of honor and it had been prepared just for us and that he had rejected it in order to sit in a corner.

He then became very spiteful to me for pointing this out -- which always makes me wonder why he bothers to ask a question if he doesn't want the answer.


The food was superb, the A was a total jerk. A few hours after dinner the A came weaving into my room and kept asking me over and over again if I had had fun at the restaurant, and hadn't he made it a special evening for me?  I was thinking that I will never be able to go back there based upon his behavior. And I am terrified about how he will act tonight at the restaurant and what R will think of all of this. But, aloud I told him it was a wonderful experience and yes I enjoyed myself.


Is there no possible way that an A can act like a human?  Must they embarrass everyone they are with at every turn?  Do you think they even know what they are doing?



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 706
Date:

I have not been to a restaurant with the A for years now. The last time we were meant to go was on my birthday and he went drinking with a friend instead. I brought the subject up to him and he pooh poohed it.  I have not gone anywhere formal with him since. I have gone to a drop in but that was it.  Last time I went to a drop in pizza one of his friends (also an alcoholic) came over and proceeded to eat all the pizza. I was furious at the time because I wanted to take some home.  The friend then proceeded to belligerantly ask my boyfriend for money I was furious about that too.  I doubt I will go to the drop in place again.


I think socializing with an A can be very very problematic.  I know behaving with grace under such pressue is tremendously difficult.  I think you did it.  The grief is never ending for me that the A has let his friends and his addiction pervade so many areas of our life.


Maresie.



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Maresie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 580
Date:

      Remember the 3 Cs.     


We didnt Cause it., We cannot Cure it, and We CAN NOT CONTROL IT. Your A's actions are his own. He embarrassed himself. You have to let go of trying to make the A be the person you think they should be.  Its not your responsibility.  Your responsibility is You.  Your a very special , sensitve and caring person.


Not being bossy, but as my Sponsor says to Me; Work the Steps &  Get to a meeting! I think it would be good to talk to someone F2F about the feelings you are experiencing. 


Keep Looking uP!   Let Go and Let God   ((Big Hug DITTO))


I recite the Serenity Prayer .. Alot.    And I read and recite the Slogans .... Alot!



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Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 420
Date:

Ditto, I sympathize with you wholeheartedly.


And I have no advice !    Have been in very embarrassing situations, and sometimes I think I am the one who will remember all my life, while everyone else has forgotten.


You yourself can stay above the fracas, as you did.   Nice job.


Personally, I don't think the A does remember, by the way.


MsPeewee


 


 


 



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