Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Barbara · Barbara

How do I change it?

snt · snt

Hello everyone... OK so the lastest in this drama that i call my life... Last night hubby comes by after his meeting. He says to me... a couple of people are going bowling after the meeting do you want to go with? I hestitate and ask him what his motives are...He say he doesnt unde...

angel123 · angel123

Years ago my Sponcer Mary Lee gave me this affirmation,she died of Cancer,but her memories and leasons are in my heart and mind.This she gave me at one of the lowest points in my life.I had found out my daughter was malested.And working not only to help my daughter,I also needed help f...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

Hello everyone....I survived my birthday...with the help of many of you. It's funny how I thought I'd learned so much with the ending of my relationship with my ex...who is an A. I told myself what I would put up with and wouldn't. Now I find myself beginning a new relation...

Barbara · Barbara

Nice day yesterday. Actually quite often its nice through the week and the weekend forecast is projected to be cold & wet. I work indoors M-F 930-5 and no I cant get out on my lunch break - I have a young teen to come home and check on. People come into the library and say "Oh you really should get outside...

sparkette · sparkette

Today started out like so many do - me walking around the house - my husband not taking 2 seconds to look me in the face. I walk over to him to say good morning and give him a hug and he barely acknowledges me, half-heartedly hugs me back. He only chooses to engage in conversation with me lately it seems when t...

nal · nal

Hi everyone, Thank you all so much for your responses to my post below "trying not to worry." They made me cry and think a lot (especially about trying to control things), and indeed this is something I need to give over to HP. I went and said goodbye to the dog today, and she was put d...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

well i am entering the 60th year of my life and its still hell i made an honest mistake at work, (told the truth to a guy, when the salesmen was not so honest---long story) but anyway, i am facing job loss.....the beat goes on for me....one thing after anohter &nb...

tootired · tootired

Well today he has been calling, he is on a bing again. He is paronoid and talking nonsense. I felt bad today for him, "he needs me" was the feeling I had, maybe if when I talk to him I should be kind, like he tells I should be , instead of talking direct to him about his addiction. This discussion today re-info...

toto12 · toto12

Dear Roomies, Know what a passport in Germany means? They carry identity cards here--so since USA has no identity cards (well driver's license and credit cards serve same purpose there, but not here,i suppose). We have to use passport which has our permit to stay in Germany st...

angel123 · angel123

things get better if i open my mind the real understasnding,Of where I was and where I am now.I have found in my Iife I took things way to personal always want to have approval for I never was good eough as a child to my mom.All I was was in the way.Her focus was on what my father was doing and not...she did no...

serendipity · serendipity

man did i ever lose it today. what a slip i had.found out my a husband is staying with his mother. he was so close to hitting bottom. he was so close to really wanting sanity and sobriety for himself and not for me. but his disease got him. or maybe it's juts him i don't know but he called and she went running. h...

kitty · kitty

Yesterday I woke up so positive, ready to face the day, in spite of not sleeping very regular hours & waking up at weird times of the night (mother sd this would happen w/ aging but I always slept so well ~ she's been right about a lot of things in life (lessons) that I have had to learn in my own stu...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi all, I mentioned in the chat room about the lesion on my right inside lower eyelid, how the doc thinks it may be skin cancer, and that I would like prayers that it won't be cancer. I am posting it on the board here, because I believe in the power of prayer, that God can heal anything, if we take it b...

lebe27 · lebe27

A received an accident settlement end of February. A decent sum but not a fortune. From the start we planned on holding aside a certain amount for a rainy day. Of course as time has gone by that amount has shrunk. We didn't "piss" the money away (something an A could literally...

Jayda · Jayda

It's been over 3 weeks since anyone has heard from my brother. I don't even have a clue if he's in town or if he has left. He didn't even phone on my birthday. I'm just sick about it. I hope that wherever he is he's okay (well as okay as you can be when you're addicted to crack).

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((friends))) darn it anyway.I was doing so well.Feeling good,positive about Alanon this time.Not sure what happened. Well, maybe it was this.Husband (A) went to another state to see his online girlfriend.They finally met.He showed me a picture that she gave him and I didn't think she was att...

lilmissy707 · lilmissy707

Hello everyone, I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics, and frankly, I've done all I can do for my father, but I'm just not willing to give up on my mom, who raised me alone from the age of 7 on. About 7 years ago, my mom got sober. It was wonderful! She was like a new person. But about 5 years ago my uncle died from...

snt · snt

Well just an update.... he came home that night before i had decided on how to actually handle the situation. saw his stuff by the door and knew. It almost got hostile but we both calmed down. we can do this civilally or not. What hurt most that night was all he had to say was "OK"...

confused · confused

I have hesitated about posting this, probably because 1. once again I feel like I am the only one in the entire world who could possibly be experiencing this 2. I fear the responses that I may get. So hopefully I can push the submit button when I am done and let my Higher Power do the res...

Barbara · Barbara

Brother returns to court May 4 for his trial. My mother & I have reason to believe he was raped while in college (things he's said in the past). My mother's psychologist recommended that she send a letter to the court asking for mental help for my brother - told mother she could even give her name, etc...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I'm annoyed. I haven't talked to any of my husband's family for a year minimum more for some of them. I stopped being involved in thier illusion and decided my efforts were being wasted on people who did not care. So I stopped trying ... what happened after was not one of them contacted me, and he stopped i...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Last night was another night of the roller coaster emotions of my husband. What started out quietly enough turned into him slamming things around and ranting & raving about everything under the sun. I, however, did not go there with him. I chose to stay serene, not let him aff...

dogscribe · dogscribe

I am very sad today. I haven’t been on here much because I can only get on at work. Just a little update on recent events. He was so drunk one Friday night – man I can’t even remember when, all these days are just melting together – but a month or so ago. He fell and hit his side o...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

It's amazing the things that stand out when you wake up from the fog of oppression and take notice of the beautiful things that HP has placed in your path... I was driving to pick the kids up from school the other day and I was driving down the road and noticed these long thick bushes bordering the...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I woke up this morning in a very sad mood. Hubby had stayed up all night with his bottle and online poker game, came to bed around 8 a.m. Last night I had gone to bed with the words "I'll be up soon" from him, I tossed the ball for our dog in the bedroom a few times and told her I bet she'd love to go to...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello all, quick note to update what has happened with the Doc appointments. My MRI results were negative well ... negative to them positive to me. No lesions or other signs of MS HURRAY! BOO on the fact that leaves them baffled as to why I have so many MS symptoms but no lesions or plaque as they call it. So...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Today, I talked to my A. I hadn't talked to him in awhile. Told him I needed sometime to work on me. I think he was reseptive to that. I have to focus on me and find my inner beauty or what I call my angeleyes. With everything going on in my life right now I don't have alot of energy to focus on the us thing. Before...

tootired · tootired

I am so hurt. he went in treatment last month, has not be able to be sober 30 days. I saw him today and he was not sober. I am so hurt, I want to believe that we can and will get sober. He is living alone now, not with me. It hurts so bad to see him like that. I have been married to him about 30 years, I feel so stupid...

rtexas · rtexas

((((everyone)))) I feel like making a sign and wearing it around my neck that says... "I'm doing the best I can..." My feelings towards my AW have wavered between irritation to sadness for her. She doesn't want me working a program, but she wants me fixed. Right now. (Or back t...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

He removed the battery from my car this morning, so I had to find another way to work. He's a mechanic and it's kinda scary what he could do. In a fit of anger during a drunken episode once, long ago, he threatened to 'fix my breaks'. Funny - I just remembered that now. How easily...

buzzfree · buzzfree

Ok, so I am sitting here right now taking a quick break from some homework.

I am reading a chapter on "converting change into opportunity." While I am a tad restless since the school year is almost at a close, this really had me glued to it. I thought of all the dragons I have battled against in my...

Jeannie · Jeannie

I know in many of my posts I have made my husband seem like an uncaring monster. Sometimes he does seem that way, now, but not in the past. From the day I met him, part of me knew that the connection he had with his parents was not "normal". I love my Mom anda Dad with all my heart, but I have never been obsesse...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

First of all - thank you for those of you who have taken time to respond to my cries for help! Thank you for helping me to see what was blocking me from my higher power! I have had an epiphany and I need to share this: Last night after almost 2 weeks with no proper sleep, I told him that it was over.&n...

Diva · Diva

Day 17 and counting. Great! Congratulations! I had to make a big deal out of this. It deserves a separate post. Good luck, Diva

megan · megan

Mountain biking with my sister in law. Wednesday night is our night. I kick off work at 4:30 and head home. I get changed , load up my bike and we meet in the woods. I lead and she follows. Speeding through the woods. It is singletrack, narrow and winding. Steep climbs, dangerous descents, roots rocks, ou...

Barbara · Barbara

I got in the door for my lunch break right after A husband got home from work. I call him earlier today to let him know our son has a friend over and he'll be spending the night. We talked about dinner and decided to get pizza. After I walked in the door I suggested eating dinner at the pizza parlor. Of course h...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So many of you recently have expressed anxiety, frustration, or just general concern over the 4th step (doing it perfectly, doing it thouroughly, doing it at all) that today's Hazelden Meditation was just too good not to post for y'all. I fully agree with this message--too many people get wra...

Barbara · Barbara

It seems to me that we shouldnt have a Step 4 without a Step 5 and then why shouldnt we ask God to remove our shortcomings? Are Steps 4-7 all interconnected? Did/do you do them all separately or together? Maybe because Ive just begun Step 4, I see Step 8 as beginning an entirely new set of Steps and...

snt · snt

Well, I have his stuff packed up most of it anyway. The locks are changed. I cant deal with the mixed signals anymore. He goes to her house everynight. I kid myself that he is still trying to decide, but who am I kidding. He made the choice. I just hav...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I am having a hard time getting my A off my mind lately. I haven't been able to sleep now for days. At night seems to be the worse when everything is quiet. I try to stay as busy as I can during the day so that my thoughts are not consumed with him but they catch up with me late at night. ...

gardengal · gardengal

Making one think of more positive things can aid recovery.......:idea

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello Group, Life is plugging along here. I assessed the damage on my car yesterday, its not bad, I buffed out the scratches. I can't do much about the dents but they're not that bad. The guy I hit called me yesterday afternoon to say he was sorry again and to let me know that he still...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I have been doing so much thinking and taking a long hard look at my life. On Easter Sunday though we had a nice day, when I look at it nothing has changed. My husband is not here, but his ways are still with us. His not showing up and calling drunk etc. We have learned to continue on without him, but th...

nal · nal

Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA with a dad who has been sober, as far as I know, for 2+ years. It's looking like tomorrow his dog, who he loves more than anything, is going to have to be put to sleep. I'm afraid this will affect his sobriety and mental health. I know I can't control it a...

horselover58 · horselover58

Hi, I can't login to the step board. I did a few days ago (cant remember when). Now it says "account pedning." Can anyone help me? I tried to login from scratch but it told me that my "user name " was being used. No kidding lol Appreciate any help. Debbie

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I was thinking about all the tools that alanon has to offer for a better way to live, and all the old tools I use to use in life mearly to survive in an alcoholic home. Pre alanon, i developed a lot of "survival skills" or tools, things i used to get by, get what i thought i needed ect. I learn...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

oh man, i screwed up with this job we are trying to get here at work.........the guy called LAST WEEK at least, ago, and asked me re: our employees or subs doing the actual painting.......i said they worked only for us, been with us for YEARS, but they were paid as sub...

meowpur · meowpur

I'm new here. I sure am having a lousy time. I can't seem to get my stuff together. I am always upset. I have Fibromyalgia and spinal disc problems so I am in a lot of pain. I am trying to become more assertive and not take any abuse from people in my life. I have lost s...

bigthoughts · bigthoughts

I am the child of an alcoholic, I am dating an alcoholic. I didn't know at first, it took awhile for me to realize it and now I just feel so ANGRY!! I have fallen in love with this man---a man with so many good qualities--and I am beginning to feel that I not only shouldn't be with him, I don't want to. Tonight w...

Rebecca · Rebecca

what a differance a day makes... i was trying to get on with my life.... ........when i checked my voicemail on my phone.. there was one from my ex the "A" himself... telling me he had left the country... and that he was sorry for all the pain and sufferig he caused me... all done under the influence...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Today I am grateful for my brother. When he was so ugly in two casts on his feet and a scab from the forceps at birth the family story says I took one look at him started crying and told my Mom "we should have gotten a puppy". At the time and many times after she agreed ... poor kid, two already nutty fema...

Gailey · Gailey

I am having a hard day today. I feel like my HP is trying to show me something but I don't seem to be seeing it or hearing it. Maybe it is just this...Acceptance. I was really touched by Jeff's post on "Loss of potential". That is just what I am having a hard time with today. Why does my son's life have to be...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

We started this thing where he would get off the system he was on, trying to look for other women and give me a chance to 'prove' that I was worthy of HIM. Well I thought that it would do me no harm to start being more responsive and caring toward him, since I had pulled back consid...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

So far this morning is bringing me nothing but panick. I'm not sure even how to breath. I have a racing heart and nothing I seem to be doing is helping. I thought if I could get it out of my head maybe I could start moving. Today is my 33 birthday. I keep thinking...

Goldie · Goldie

Hi I'm new to this board. I'm hoping this is the right place to post, learn, and grow. i am just working step 1, and I'm trying to understand powerlessness. I am powerless, I understand that, but sometimes I feel helpless. My A bent to kiss me yesterday, and the stale alcohol s...

findingmyway · findingmyway

Well... here we go again. Because we're divorcing, my lawyer advised me to file my taxes separately. When my A found out, he hit the roof. He was angry I didn't ask his permission before I did this. The scary part is that he called our accountant. He threatened him but what really worried the acc...

sparkette · sparkette

thank goodness the board is up and running! This was from earlier this morning: Ok I admit it is late which means I am more emotional than usual....but I am gonna write anyways, cause I can :o) also because I just feel compelled to do so. Grateful isn't a word I use regularly. When I first came i...

kspear · kspear

Good morning, all. I just wanted to first of all thank the good folks who were in the chatroom this morning. I knew I belonged in Alanon for a while, but wonder of wonders, I believed I belonged this morning for the first time. I never realized how impacted I was by the alcoholic behavio...

Barbara · Barbara

What are you doing to keep fit physically? Most mornings I take a 30min walk outside before getting ready for work. We live on a .2mile circle which has gotten the name "gerbil track" due to the times I walk it over and over and over. I also stop at Curves 3-4 nights after work on my way home. Some nights my so...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Im in the habit of negative projection (Preview) How do I change it?	Barbara	4	413	Apr 23, 2006 by d53sjurne
	oh what to do.... (Preview) Hello everyone... OK so the lastest in this drama that i call my life... Last night hubby comes by after his meeting. He says to me... a couple of people are going bowling after the meeting do you want to go with? I hestitate and ask him what his motives are...He say he doesnt unde...	snt	4	349	Apr 23, 2006 by isabela40
	affirmations( a gift) (Preview) Years ago my Sponcer Mary Lee gave me this affirmation,she died of Cancer,but her memories and leasons are in my heart and mind.This she gave me at one of the lowest points in my life.I had found out my daughter was malested.And working not only to help my daughter,I also needed help f...	angel123	4	370	Apr 23, 2006 by Ria
	Ending the week with a smile (Preview) Hello everyone....I survived my birthday...with the help of many of you. It's funny how I thought I'd learned so much with the ending of my relationship with my ex...who is an A. I told myself what I would put up with and wouldn't. Now I find myself beginning a new relation...	katrina2000	3	274	Apr 23, 2006 by Ria
	why do I let WEATHER affect me so? (Preview) Nice day yesterday. Actually quite often its nice through the week and the weekend forecast is projected to be cold & wet. I work indoors M-F 930-5 and no I cant get out on my lunch break - I have a young teen to come home and check on. People come into the library and say "Oh you really should get outside...	Barbara	4	412	Apr 23, 2006 by d53sjurne
	today (Preview) Today started out like so many do - me walking around the house - my husband not taking 2 seconds to look me in the face. I walk over to him to say good morning and give him a hug and he barely acknowledges me, half-heartedly hugs me back. He only chooses to engage in conversation with me lately it seems when t...	sparkette	5	401	Apr 23, 2006 by cedarpines
	Thank you... (Preview) Hi everyone, Thank you all so much for your responses to my post below "trying not to worry." They made me cry and think a lot (especially about trying to control things), and indeed this is something I need to give over to HP. I went and said goodbye to the dog today, and she was put d...	nal	1	297	Apr 22, 2006 by Ria
	life has kicked my butt AGAIN (Preview) well i am entering the 60th year of my life and its still hell i made an honest mistake at work, (told the truth to a guy, when the salesmen was not so honest---long story) but anyway, i am facing job loss.....the beat goes on for me....one thing after anohter &nb...	rosie light shines	9	538	Apr 22, 2006 by emma
	He needs me (Preview) Well today he has been calling, he is on a bing again. He is paronoid and talking nonsense. I felt bad today for him, "he needs me" was the feeling I had, maybe if when I talk to him I should be kind, like he tells I should be , instead of talking direct to him about his addiction. This discussion today re-info...	tootired	3	347	Apr 22, 2006 by jrtjosey
	What me worry? (Preview) Dear Roomies, Know what a passport in Germany means? They carry identity cards here--so since USA has no identity cards (well driver's license and credit cards serve same purpose there, but not here,i suppose). We have to use passport which has our permit to stay in Germany st...	toto12	3	315	Apr 22, 2006 by emma
	Feelings (Preview) things get better if i open my mind the real understasnding,Of where I was and where I am now.I have found in my Iife I took things way to personal always want to have approval for I never was good eough as a child to my mom.All I was was in the way.Her focus was on what my father was doing and not...she did no...	angel123	2	350	Apr 22, 2006 by d53sjurne
	just a slip.... (Preview) man did i ever lose it today. what a slip i had.found out my a husband is staying with his mother. he was so close to hitting bottom. he was so close to really wanting sanity and sobriety for himself and not for me. but his disease got him. or maybe it's juts him i don't know but he called and she went running. h...	serendipity	3	414	Apr 22, 2006 by Jeannie
	down on myself (Preview) Yesterday I woke up so positive, ready to face the day, in spite of not sleeping very regular hours & waking up at weird times of the night (mother sd this would happen w/ aging but I always slept so well ~ she's been right about a lot of things in life (lessons) that I have had to learn in my own stu...	kitty	7	407	Apr 22, 2006 by cdb
	prayer request... (Preview) Hi all, I mentioned in the chat room about the lesion on my right inside lower eyelid, how the doc thinks it may be skin cancer, and that I would like prayers that it won't be cancer. I am posting it on the board here, because I believe in the power of prayer, that God can heal anything, if we take it b...	lmt123	12	355	Apr 22, 2006 by cdb
	Will soon be just scraping by again (Preview) A received an accident settlement end of February. A decent sum but not a fortune. From the start we planned on holding aside a certain amount for a rainy day. Of course as time has gone by that amount has shrunk. We didn't "piss" the money away (something an A could literally...	lebe27	3	287	Apr 22, 2006 by cdb
	Need your prayers (Preview) It's been over 3 weeks since anyone has heard from my brother. I don't even have a clue if he's in town or if he has left. He didn't even phone on my birthday. I'm just sick about it. I hope that wherever he is he's okay (well as okay as you can be when you're addicted to crack).	Jayda	6	358	Apr 22, 2006 by Jayda
	in the dumps again....... (Preview) (((friends))) darn it anyway.I was doing so well.Feeling good,positive about Alanon this time.Not sure what happened. Well, maybe it was this.Husband (A) went to another state to see his online girlfriend.They finally met.He showed me a picture that she gave him and I didn't think she was att...	drucilla06	5	440	Apr 21, 2006 by tea2
	HELP! URGENT! I need help for my mom (Preview) Hello everyone, I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics, and frankly, I've done all I can do for my father, but I'm just not willing to give up on my mom, who raised me alone from the age of 7 on. About 7 years ago, my mom got sober. It was wonderful! She was like a new person. But about 5 years ago my uncle died from...	lilmissy707	7	401	Apr 21, 2006 by d53sjurne
	still hurting and confused (Preview) Well just an update.... he came home that night before i had decided on how to actually handle the situation. saw his stuff by the door and knew. It almost got hostile but we both calmed down. we can do this civilally or not. What hurt most that night was all he had to say was "OK"...	snt	8	352	Apr 21, 2006 by aunitedway
	need some esh - the impulsivity or the A is at an all time high! (Preview) I have hesitated about posting this, probably because 1. once again I feel like I am the only one in the entire world who could possibly be experiencing this 2. I fear the responses that I may get. So hopefully I can push the submit button when I am done and let my Higher Power do the res...	confused	11	420	Apr 21, 2006 by confused
	do we contact the court or let them deal with brother? (Preview) Brother returns to court May 4 for his trial. My mother & I have reason to believe he was raped while in college (things he's said in the past). My mother's psychologist recommended that she send a letter to the court asking for mental help for my brother - told mother she could even give her name, etc...	Barbara	3	303	Apr 21, 2006 by aunitedway
	Just Venting (Preview) I'm annoyed. I haven't talked to any of my husband's family for a year minimum more for some of them. I stopped being involved in thier illusion and decided my efforts were being wasted on people who did not care. So I stopped trying ... what happened after was not one of them contacted me, and he stopped i...	Jennifer	7	438	Apr 21, 2006 by QOD
	Pride & Punishment... (Preview) Last night was another night of the roller coaster emotions of my husband. What started out quietly enough turned into him slamming things around and ranting & raving about everything under the sun. I, however, did not go there with him. I chose to stay serene, not let him aff...	AlaMom	5	428	Apr 21, 2006 by QOD
	I am a Rock, I am an Island (Preview) I am very sad today. I haven’t been on here much because I can only get on at work. Just a little update on recent events. He was so drunk one Friday night – man I can’t even remember when, all these days are just melting together – but a month or so ago. He fell and hit his side o...	dogscribe	9	429	Apr 21, 2006 by isabela40
	It's amazing when... (Preview) It's amazing the things that stand out when you wake up from the fog of oppression and take notice of the beautiful things that HP has placed in your path... I was driving to pick the kids up from school the other day and I was driving down the road and noticed these long thick bushes bordering the...	twinmom2	4	350	Apr 21, 2006 by emma
	Take Me Away From Here... (Preview) I woke up this morning in a very sad mood. Hubby had stayed up all night with his bottle and online poker game, came to bed around 8 a.m. Last night I had gone to bed with the words "I'll be up soon" from him, I tossed the ball for our dog in the bedroom a few times and told her I bet she'd love to go to...	kismetstrand	7	398	Apr 21, 2006 by lebe27
	Medical update (Preview) Hello all, quick note to update what has happened with the Doc appointments. My MRI results were negative well ... negative to them positive to me. No lesions or other signs of MS HURRAY! BOO on the fact that leaves them baffled as to why I have so many MS symptoms but no lesions or plaque as they call it. So...	Jennifer	4	280	Apr 21, 2006 by Jeannie
	Forgiveness (Preview) Today, I talked to my A. I hadn't talked to him in awhile. Told him I needed sometime to work on me. I think he was reseptive to that. I have to focus on me and find my inner beauty or what I call my angeleyes. With everything going on in my life right now I don't have alot of energy to focus on the us thing. Before...	angeleyes8462	4	376	Apr 21, 2006 by bobump
	So hurt (Preview) I am so hurt. he went in treatment last month, has not be able to be sober 30 days. I saw him today and he was not sober. I am so hurt, I want to believe that we can and will get sober. He is living alone now, not with me. It hurts so bad to see him like that. I have been married to him about 30 years, I feel so stupid...	tootired	13	507	Apr 21, 2006 by Becky1
	"I'm doing the best I can" (Preview) ((((everyone)))) I feel like making a sign and wearing it around my neck that says... "I'm doing the best I can..." My feelings towards my AW have wavered between irritation to sadness for her. She doesn't want me working a program, but she wants me fixed. Right now. (Or back t...	rtexas	8	607	Apr 21, 2006 by twinmom2
	UPDATE - but I'm still cool ... (Preview) He removed the battery from my car this morning, so I had to find another way to work. He's a mechanic and it's kinda scary what he could do. In a fit of anger during a drunken episode once, long ago, he threatened to 'fix my breaks'. Funny - I just remembered that now. How easily...	HadEnuff	9	513	Apr 21, 2006 by twinmom2
	Turning Dragons into Caterpillars (Preview) Ok, so I am sitting here right now taking a quick break from some homework. I am reading a chapter on "converting change into opportunity." While I am a tad restless since the school year is almost at a close, this really had me glued to it. I thought of all the dragons I have battled against in my...	buzzfree	5	381	Apr 21, 2006 by david62
	Reflecting on how it was (Preview) I know in many of my posts I have made my husband seem like an uncaring monster. Sometimes he does seem that way, now, but not in the past. From the day I met him, part of me knew that the connection he had with his parents was not "normal". I love my Mom anda Dad with all my heart, but I have never been obsesse...	Jeannie	10	446	Apr 21, 2006 by Barbara
	WOW - An Epiphany for ME! (Preview) First of all - thank you for those of you who have taken time to respond to my cries for help! Thank you for helping me to see what was blocking me from my higher power! I have had an epiphany and I need to share this: Last night after almost 2 weeks with no proper sleep, I told him that it was over.&n...	HadEnuff	9	520	Apr 20, 2006 by d53sjurne
	Buzzfree is smokefree!!! (Preview) Day 17 and counting. Great! Congratulations! I had to make a big deal out of this. It deserves a separate post. Good luck, Diva	Diva	13	536	Apr 20, 2006 by John_R
	Progress report (Preview) Mountain biking with my sister in law. Wednesday night is our night. I kick off work at 4:30 and head home. I get changed , load up my bike and we meet in the woods. I lead and she follows. Speeding through the woods. It is singletrack, narrow and winding. Steep climbs, dangerous descents, roots rocks, ou...	megan	12	434	Apr 20, 2006 by megan
	I have to learn to react quicker (Preview) I got in the door for my lunch break right after A husband got home from work. I call him earlier today to let him know our son has a friend over and he'll be spending the night. We talked about dinner and decided to get pizza. After I walked in the door I suggested eating dinner at the pizza parlor. Of course h...	Barbara	1	309	Apr 20, 2006 by QOD
	4th step meditation (Preview) So many of you recently have expressed anxiety, frustration, or just general concern over the 4th step (doing it perfectly, doing it thouroughly, doing it at all) that today's Hazelden Meditation was just too good not to post for y'all. I fully agree with this message--too many people get wra...	Tiger2006	3	442	Apr 20, 2006 by abbyal
	are steps 4-7 interconnected for you? (Preview) It seems to me that we shouldnt have a Step 4 without a Step 5 and then why shouldnt we ask God to remove our shortcomings? Are Steps 4-7 all interconnected? Did/do you do them all separately or together? Maybe because Ive just begun Step 4, I see Step 8 as beginning an entirely new set of Steps and...	Barbara	4	464	Apr 20, 2006 by rosie light shines
	This hurts (Preview) Well, I have his stuff packed up most of it anyway. The locks are changed. I cant deal with the mixed signals anymore. He goes to her house everynight. I kid myself that he is still trying to decide, but who am I kidding. He made the choice. I just hav...	snt	8	414	Apr 20, 2006 by nmike
	I can't seem to get him off my mind (Preview) I am having a hard time getting my A off my mind lately. I haven't been able to sleep now for days. At night seems to be the worse when everything is quiet. I try to stay as busy as I can during the day so that my thoughts are not consumed with him but they catch up with me late at night. ...	JulieLynn	5	349	Apr 20, 2006 by canadianguy
	What are YOU grateful for? (Preview) Making one think of more positive things can aid recovery.......:idea	gardengal	5	338	Apr 20, 2006 by jrtjosey
	A Quick update... (Preview) Hello Group, Life is plugging along here. I assessed the damage on my car yesterday, its not bad, I buffed out the scratches. I can't do much about the dents but they're not that bad. The guy I hit called me yesterday afternoon to say he was sorry again and to let me know that he still...	twinmom2	2	297	Apr 20, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Running out of choices (long) (Preview) Hi, I have been doing so much thinking and taking a long hard look at my life. On Easter Sunday though we had a nice day, when I look at it nothing has changed. My husband is not here, but his ways are still with us. His not showing up and calling drunk etc. We have learned to continue on without him, but th...	Jeannie	5	386	Apr 20, 2006 by Jennifer
	Trying not to worry... (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA with a dad who has been sober, as far as I know, for 2+ years. It's looking like tomorrow his dog, who he loves more than anything, is going to have to be put to sleep. I'm afraid this will affect his sobriety and mental health. I know I can't control it a...	nal	12	594	Apr 20, 2006 by Jeannie
	Trouble with Step board (Preview) Hi, I can't login to the step board. I did a few days ago (cant remember when). Now it says "account pedning." Can anyone help me? I tried to login from scratch but it told me that my "user name " was being used. No kidding lol Appreciate any help. Debbie	horselover58	1	254	Apr 20, 2006 by confused
	whatcha got in your toolbelt? (Preview) Hi all, I was thinking about all the tools that alanon has to offer for a better way to live, and all the old tools I use to use in life mearly to survive in an alcoholic home. Pre alanon, i developed a lot of "survival skills" or tools, things i used to get by, get what i thought i needed ect. I learn...	mastiff	8	617	Apr 20, 2006 by Barbara
	oops i hope i didn't mess up (Preview) oh man, i screwed up with this job we are trying to get here at work.........the guy called LAST WEEK at least, ago, and asked me re: our employees or subs doing the actual painting.......i said they worked only for us, been with us for YEARS, but they were paid as sub...	rosie light shines	5	337	Apr 20, 2006 by megan
	Hi Kids (Preview) I'm new here. I sure am having a lousy time. I can't seem to get my stuff together. I am always upset. I have Fibromyalgia and spinal disc problems so I am in a lot of pain. I am trying to become more assertive and not take any abuse from people in my life. I have lost s...	meowpur	4	306	Apr 20, 2006 by leo
	So Angry (Preview) I am the child of an alcoholic, I am dating an alcoholic. I didn't know at first, it took awhile for me to realize it and now I just feel so ANGRY!! I have fallen in love with this man---a man with so many good qualities--and I am beginning to feel that I not only shouldn't be with him, I don't want to. Tonight w...	bigthoughts	5	336	Apr 19, 2006 by just me
	LIFE CHANGES.... (Preview) what a differance a day makes... i was trying to get on with my life.... ........when i checked my voicemail on my phone.. there was one from my ex the "A" himself... telling me he had left the country... and that he was sorry for all the pain and sufferig he caused me... all done under the influence...	Rebecca	3	349	Apr 19, 2006 by just me
	Today's love and gratitude thought (Preview) Today I am grateful for my brother. When he was so ugly in two casts on his feet and a scab from the forceps at birth the family story says I took one look at him started crying and told my Mom "we should have gotten a puppy". At the time and many times after she agreed ... poor kid, two already nutty fema...	Jennifer	3	373	Apr 19, 2006 by Maria123
	Acceptance (Preview) I am having a hard day today. I feel like my HP is trying to show me something but I don't seem to be seeing it or hearing it. Maybe it is just this...Acceptance. I was really touched by Jeff's post on "Loss of potential". That is just what I am having a hard time with today. Why does my son's life have to be...	Gailey	3	347	Apr 19, 2006 by mebjk
	Really Suffering Today ... (Preview) We started this thing where he would get off the system he was on, trying to look for other women and give me a chance to 'prove' that I was worthy of HIM. Well I thought that it would do me no harm to start being more responsive and caring toward him, since I had pulled back consid...	HadEnuff	8	470	Apr 19, 2006 by mebjk
	trying to breath (Preview) So far this morning is bringing me nothing but panick. I'm not sure even how to breath. I have a racing heart and nothing I seem to be doing is helping. I thought if I could get it out of my head maybe I could start moving. Today is my 33 birthday. I keep thinking...	katrina2000	8	424	Apr 19, 2006 by Diva
	Helpless VS Powerless (Preview) Hi I'm new to this board. I'm hoping this is the right place to post, learn, and grow. i am just working step 1, and I'm trying to understand powerlessness. I am powerless, I understand that, but sometimes I feel helpless. My A bent to kiss me yesterday, and the stale alcohol s...	Goldie	6	319	Apr 19, 2006 by aunitedway
	Maybe it's time to be worried (Preview) Well... here we go again. Because we're divorcing, my lawyer advised me to file my taxes separately. When my A found out, he hit the roof. He was angry I didn't ask his permission before I did this. The scary part is that he called our accountant. He threatened him but what really worried the acc...	findingmyway	6	399	Apr 19, 2006 by aunitedway
	Gratitude (Preview) thank goodness the board is up and running! This was from earlier this morning: Ok I admit it is late which means I am more emotional than usual....but I am gonna write anyways, cause I can :o) also because I just feel compelled to do so. Grateful isn't a word I use regularly. When I first came i...	sparkette	8	435	Apr 19, 2006 by sparkette
	Amazing (Preview) Good morning, all. I just wanted to first of all thank the good folks who were in the chatroom this morning. I knew I belonged in Alanon for a while, but wonder of wonders, I believed I belonged this morning for the first time. I never realized how impacted I was by the alcoholic behavio...	kspear	2	306	Apr 19, 2006 by hudsond
	so how are YOU keeping fit physically? (Preview) What are you doing to keep fit physically? Most mornings I take a 30min walk outside before getting ready for work. We live on a .2mile circle which has gotten the name "gerbil track" due to the times I walk it over and over and over. I also stop at Curves 3-4 nights after work on my way home. Some nights my so...	Barbara	7	402	Apr 19, 2006 by irena
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.