just an update on the weekend.  My A told me he was planning on going to a party for a friend of his on saturday. (these friends are all a's as well)  instead of freaking out and asking him not to go... I just told him he was a grown man and he is able to make his own decisions.  it was veryu hard not to go into a rant about how he knows he cant control himself in that situation... So I just made plans and stayed at a friends house sat night, so I didnt drive myself crazy with worry,wondering what kind of trouble he was getting into.  I came home the next day, and he was there!(if he would have gone he wouldnt have been... there have been numerous nights he went out to hang out with these boys and got too drunk to come home, would wake up and realize what he had done and start drinking again... usually not comming home for the course of the weekend and sometimes into the week)  I cant believe how this worked so well... no tears, no asking him not to, no up all night worrying...  he just made the right decision, Finally!  He ended up inviting his mom over and to play cards!  I was so excited about his decision not to go.  Not that I dont like his friends, they are wonderful people when they arent drinking... but all of them are awful when they are drinking and even worse when they are drinking together. I never thought he would make the right decisions when it came to this... but I have never given him the choice I suppose.