Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

redfred · redfred

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to follow my little soap opera on this message board and share some of your wisdom with me. So much is happening and it's happening so fast the I have only been able (emotionally and time wise) to post the most critical information for what's happe...

Overcome · Overcome

I did not do all the things on my "to do" list and Just for that day, I didn't worry about it, I just did "the next right thing" One of the things that I added to my 'to do' list was taking my mom to another Assisted Living Facility (this makes the second one we've visited). She really li...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Even though I know I am working hard, I am changing the things I can and I am accepting the things I cannot, today has been a really hard day. Physically pain is not helping from when my legs collapsed from under me late Monday night and I knocked myself out on my kitchen floor. The fact that I buried a dear d...

Grace11 · Grace11

I have no idea what to do or where to go. I dated a recovering alcoholic for four years. Then around four years ago he was no longer recovering as he started drinking again. In a weird way it was sort of nice in the beginning because he was so relaxed with a few drinks. He had always found it difficult to relax...

Temple · Temple

I just got a call from a boiler room operation. A young woman wanted to talk to me about my credit card ending in XXXX. Credit card ending in XXXX has been cancelled, because some scam artists got hold of it and were charging little $2 and $4 items to my account. The card company alerted me--said they d...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I'm not sure if anyone can relate to what I've been feeling for the past few days but, I have this sense of anxiety at times about 'working the program' right. I often wonder if my sponsor choice was right - I am being guided in a wonderful way. Am I working the steps the way I should? Am I in denial about somet...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Rather than do the usual and focus on what I did wrong or where I slipped up (and trust me, I did!), I thought I'd list out what I did right instead. 1. I'm slowly making progress on protecting myself on the financial front. I just need to get off my butt and out of the house to finish up these tasks. 2. I fi...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... I made it thru another Long Week... I have so much going on in my life right now, it is putting me into over drive, Last night I did take the time to go up on my bed, and just Lay there, and meditate, and pushing the stress from my body... It worked "In the Moment" but then when I got up, I thin...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thanks everyone for reading/responding to my post. Yesterday was truly a rough day and I really did not think that it would be.... Today is a new day though, and though there is still a huge sadness where there once was hurt, I am going to get through it. It just sucks ya know? It's been almost 8 months...

cidiera · cidiera

So, I moved out of my apartment cuz me and my boyfriend broke up. I had to move back home. I've been here a month, and things are going back to how I remember them as a child. Except I'm not a child, anymore. My mother can't hold a discussion about anything when it comes to something that bugs me. For example,...

Eve55 · Eve55

I'm brand new to all of this and trying the absorp alot of these concepts. Obviously understanding will take time. My concern is, this weekend there are several events that will happen that will continue to stress the relationship between myself and my husband. I tried to talk to my husband about hi...

Tracy · Tracy

hi all I have not posted for a while lots has happened. After going to a weekend conference in march I told my ab I just wanted to be friends because I had met lots of healthy people and needed to surround myself wityh these people to help my recovery. I finally accepted i couldnt fix him. I realised i was...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I'm having a rough time tonight. The week has been harder than most with crazy at every turn it seems and I think for the most part I have held it altogether and kept moving forward in my life. And then today the EXABF dropped the last of my things off while I was at work, and I just feel this overwel...

Overcome · Overcome

My thoughts on Just For Today, a poem that is a bookmark in our program. I would like to extend a challenge to anyone that wants to participate, to work this into your life today, too, Just for Today: Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do someth...

beacheemom · beacheemom

Today I felt more in control of my life than I have in years. I thank God for this day. I thank Him for allowing me and trusting me with three beautiful girls he sent for me to love ( my daughters). I thank Him for their laughs and smiles. I even thank Him for giving me the wisdom and courage to discipline t...

maresie · maresie

My sponsor who has never ever judged me or "should" me down suggested I keep the positive at the front of my life. Lately as you all know I have lost weight and gone all out to get healthy. As someone who was pretty much lethargic for me to exercise at all is incredible. I walk 10,000 steps a day...

Temple · Temple

I went to my second F2F meeting and learned two things. No crosstalk means we just sit and listen if somebody else is commenting, and we don't comment on the comment. Even if the other is suffering and we might have something to say that could help. Maybe that is what the sponsor is for. They were gen...

Jozie · Jozie

I wanted to Say THANK YOU to all of you that Commented Yesterday...I can now laugh at myself over the ordeal, made all my contacts, now I have to sit and wait to hear the "Rest of the Story",... I got up this morning with best thoughts of accomplishment, and a better sense of self.. For me someti...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Im in a great mood!! Been testing 10 plus hours for a job I was referred to by someone here. Waited all day for my results and .... I PASSED!!! I got hired!!! Only 20 hours a week but the pay is pretty good so my next step is to start looking for apartments so I can get the heck out of here ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Eve55 · Eve55

Another question. My husband told me this morning that he promises not to drink while I'm away at work today. I let slip "Don't do that." before I could stop myself. He asked me why I said that but I changed the subject. How should I respond to his promises? He makes promises to make me "...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Was woke up the night before last at 4am by an outraged wife! To make a long story short, one of my internet friends who has been emailing/texting me has a wife! Now I had asked him several times and he swore NO NO NO.......and I had no reason whatsoever not to believe him, other than this little feeling t...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

ok, I think I have been looking at this all wrong, I just realize that the decision to stay or leave an A husband, which i know I shouldn't make any rash decisions. I have been so far thinking about myself. It's not all about that, it's about my kids. I should be able to make myself happy in any situation, b...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Last week I had written about a woman who was disruptive during my meeting and made me feel uncomfortable. Well after talking with God, I thought that perhaps she needed to be at that meeting and who am I to judge who should be there and who shouldn't. With that, I decided to reach out to her this week and...

beacheemom · beacheemom

We were on the topice of our yard- AH mows it but that's it- so it needs weedeating really bad, it looks neglected and it's embarassing to me. Well, about a year ago our weedeater broke and never bought a new one. So, with me being on this new path I'm on, I called my Dad (step-dad) to see if i could borrow his f...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Sorry I haven't been by lately, things have just been super busy work wise and the home PC was hit by a bug. Anyway things have been interesting and enlightening. The last time I posted was when I had ran into EXABF in Walmart and he had shunned my son. To cut to the chase-lol, I had an occassion after than...

beacheemom · beacheemom

hi everone, I am so grateful I found this place. Some of ya'll have probably read my other post, I wrote that when I first came to the board. I was angry, angry , angry. Since then, and it's only been a day or so, I have started applying step 1 to my life. It does make me feel better to know that I have not caus...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I have found myself being asked again and again of late, "Where do I begin?" And I have noticed that there are quite a few newbies here, so I thought I would share my "Where do I start?" story. I am not here to advise I am here only to share my experience and tell you what worked for me an...

debilyn · debilyn

First thing this morn a sheriff called me, he is in my driveway. He says he has papers for me, I said,"oh what a drag!" lol of course I am a mess, lol lost a lot of fat have on baggy stretch cotton shorts,dark blue with marroon, white, yellow and turquoise paint on them. a blue tank top then a touqu...

redfred · redfred

It seems odd to me to be writing this post so quickly after my last one that was soooooo different than this one's going to be. But please bear with me, again. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, or if you were able to get the gist, but I have a good and close relationship with my HP, which I call God. Some of y...

redfred · redfred

This is my first post so please bear with me if I sound like a newcomer, 'cause I am. J I've moved out of my A bf's house 10 days ago after a 16 year relationship and I'm somewhat lost. We've lived, played and worked together for over 1/3 of my life. After I started back to counseling in April 2008 to learn how...

clara · clara

My non alcholic daughter from Houston and her family are coming up for the 4th of July hoiday. The problem is whether to invite the adaughter for the week end. My brain says "no", but my heart says otherwise. Part of the problem is my two daughters are "crossways" with each ot...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I always read about detachment as a way to survive living with an alcoholic. I'm not sure how you detach and still love and stay emotionally involved and communicate and share time together. The word "detach" seems to say you don't do any of that OR you are spending time together but just n...

maresie · maresie

For the first time I no longer dread stepping on a scale. I am doing an incredible amount of physical exercise which is very new for me. I am so looking forward to the prospect of having to pack up my current clothes and more to the smaller clothes in my wardrobe. That time is coming and I can't wait to cel...

beacheemom · beacheemom

ughh... is it possible to actually be in love with an A? I pray about this quite often. I feel so much resentment towards my AH that I don't see how I could ever truly and unconditionally love him as long as he stays this way. My resentment is really bad. I'm so bitter deep inside at him. I may sound so cold as I...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Hi Guys! I saw my ah today, we have been separated for about 4 months. After 3 and a half months of blustering and threatening he is now entering his sad phase. Though it is very real to him and I have empathy for his deluded mentality, at the same time, I am so glad that finally I can see the "game"...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Today is a pretty good day. I am pondering where my life is going right now. My AH and I seem to be closer than we have been in years. He is still drinking but that's his business and not mine. He did go to an AA meeting the other day. Why? I am not exactly sure yet. Well, no, he did say it was because things were go...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Hey folks, I thought I heard someone on the board use a slogan that went something like this: pray on it, stay on it, (and something else that I don't remember). Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so, could you post the slogan? Thanks so much!

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot about my BF lately and his effect on my kids. The oldest says she hates him regularly but she hates everyone right now. I have come to the conclusion that she wants her mom, all of me, all the time no matter how much she says she hates me and he takes up some of that time. My middle d...

Inpain · Inpain

My new al-anon friend invited us over to her place for a bbq. She's letting me bring my 3 rugrats so that will be good as we can't really afford a babysitter. Her fiance sounds great and she told me he has a mini-cooper. My husband will be psyched. He's an "old car" kinda guy and new situatio...

Jozie · Jozie

OK, This is how my day has gone so far... Got Up EARLY to get Blood work done... "Yeah Me", get shower, get hair done, face on, husband up, boy up, out the door, get there OK, go in, they tell me that since "they" desided to check Something ELSE, that My Fasting 8 Hours was not good enou...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I wondeer what he'd do with ALCOHOL CONTROL legislation.... I watched as your president Obama signed the most recent Tobacco Control legislation and started to wonder....I wonder what he would do with Alcohol Legislation. As a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups I cannot and will not represent m...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Hello family- This may be off topic and if it is inappropriate for this forum, please feel free to let me know!!! I am wondering if anyone would care to be part of a Gratitude Group by which you exchange emails with members who are also in recovery programs, just basically sharing your daily gratitude. I...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

ok, I am new to this, very very new, with lots to learn, even though that it kind of makes me mad that i need to learn anything, that I even need to heel. Still angers me, but it makes me feel better at the same time, weird hugh. anyways, my A hasn't drank in two days, yay. This will be third, I have detached fro...

heatherranki · heatherranki

My husband is an acoa. His dad is a dry drunk - went to AA but not working the program as he "is in control". In all the many years I have been reading AA, Al-anon, and ACOA literature, I have yet to find something that will help me understand how ACOAs view their world. I have been to al-anon, b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have had issues with my job but have stayed in it because it's "comfortable" meaning I can do other stuff as there's not that much to do here and nobody is breathing down my neck or bothering me. There are some things that are very disturbing to me and I tolerate them for a 4 day work week. I'm...

xter · xter

although i have been extremely miserable and depressed for the past few months before i started going to f2f meetings and coming here, i have to say: i am grateful today that this program has allowed me to gain a piece of myself back from alcoholism. thanks to everyone on this board for their posts. i re...

Codependent · Codependent

As I recently posted I have sorta been seeing this guy- when I say seeing I mean hanging out some- going out on the lake and for drinks and to his house. He showers me with compliments and tells me how great and pretty I am. He texts me throughout the day, but usually sends me a text around 8 or so when he gets...

Bella333 · Bella333

This is my first time posting a new topic. My pain has motivated me to ask someone to sponsor me and to start doing the steps. I need and deserve a better life. I am scared but I am taking the next right action with the help of my HP. I love the alcoholic in my life. But I know if I don't change I will end up hating h...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

when i used to get tired in the program, i would work *harder* to make sure that at my tiredness and weakness i was *protected*.....now, i REST...i know that in my mind, in the quiet, while resting in my HP, i can still work my program.... i felt that if i wasn't working it 24/7, i was opening the door for the...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...

Star82 · Star82

Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...

clara · clara

Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, *I* bou...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	FYI - Some of the legalities of my situation with my ex-bf (Preview) First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to follow my little soap opera on this message board and share some of your wisdom with me. So much is happening and it's happening so fast the I have only been able (emotionally and time wise) to post the most critical information for what's happe...	redfred	5	436	Jun 27, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Just For Today...report (Preview) I did not do all the things on my "to do" list and Just for that day, I didn't worry about it, I just did "the next right thing" One of the things that I added to my 'to do' list was taking my mom to another Assisted Living Facility (this makes the second one we've visited). She really li...	Overcome	3	377	Jun 27, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Need some love tonight... (Preview) Even though I know I am working hard, I am changing the things I can and I am accepting the things I cannot, today has been a really hard day. Physically pain is not helping from when my legs collapsed from under me late Monday night and I knocked myself out on my kitchen floor. The fact that I buried a dear d...	Suzannah	14	960	Jun 27, 2009 by Jozie
	At a loss (Preview) I have no idea what to do or where to go. I dated a recovering alcoholic for four years. Then around four years ago he was no longer recovering as he started drinking again. In a weird way it was sort of nice in the beginning because he was so relaxed with a few drinks. He had always found it difficult to relax...	Grace11	7	846	Jun 27, 2009 by Grace11
	Progress (Preview) I just got a call from a boiler room operation. A young woman wanted to talk to me about my credit card ending in XXXX. Credit card ending in XXXX has been cancelled, because some scam artists got hold of it and were charging little $2 and $4 items to my account. The card company alerted me--said they d...	Temple	3	599	Jun 27, 2009 by Jean4444
	Doing it Right (Preview) I'm not sure if anyone can relate to what I've been feeling for the past few days but, I have this sense of anxiety at times about 'working the program' right. I often wonder if my sponsor choice was right - I am being guided in a wonderful way. Am I working the steps the way I should? Am I in denial about somet...	RunnerChick	4	676	Jun 27, 2009 by Suzannah
	Things I did Right this week (Preview) Rather than do the usual and focus on what I did wrong or where I slipped up (and trust me, I did!), I thought I'd list out what I did right instead. 1. I'm slowly making progress on protecting myself on the financial front. I just need to get off my butt and out of the house to finish up these tasks. 2. I fi...	blender_girl	3	749	Jun 26, 2009 by Bella333
	I made it thru But.... (Preview) Welp... I made it thru another Long Week... I have so much going on in my life right now, it is putting me into over drive, Last night I did take the time to go up on my bed, and just Lay there, and meditate, and pushing the stress from my body... It worked "In the Moment" but then when I got up, I thin...	Jozie	8	760	Jun 26, 2009 by Jozie
	A new day..... (Preview) Thanks everyone for reading/responding to my post. Yesterday was truly a rough day and I really did not think that it would be.... Today is a new day though, and though there is still a huge sadness where there once was hurt, I am going to get through it. It just sucks ya know? It's been almost 8 months...	shellyj123	1	299	Jun 26, 2009 by Temple
	can't stand living situation (Preview) So, I moved out of my apartment cuz me and my boyfriend broke up. I had to move back home. I've been here a month, and things are going back to how I remember them as a child. Except I'm not a child, anymore. My mother can't hold a discussion about anything when it comes to something that bugs me. For example,...	cidiera	8	1070	Jun 26, 2009 by Melissa21
	Time for change? (Preview) I'm brand new to all of this and trying the absorp alot of these concepts. Obviously understanding will take time. My concern is, this weekend there are several events that will happen that will continue to stress the relationship between myself and my husband. I tried to talk to my husband about hi...	Eve55	9	860	Jun 26, 2009 by RunnerChick
	update/sobriety (Preview) hi all I have not posted for a while lots has happened. After going to a weekend conference in march I told my ab I just wanted to be friends because I had met lots of healthy people and needed to surround myself wityh these people to help my recovery. I finally accepted i couldnt fix him. I realised i was...	Tracy	3	669	Jun 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	Overwelmingly sad and in need of some ESH (Preview) I'm having a rough time tonight. The week has been harder than most with crazy at every turn it seems and I think for the most part I have held it altogether and kept moving forward in my life. And then today the EXABF dropped the last of my things off while I was at work, and I just feel this overwel...	shellyj123	12	1026	Jun 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	Just for today (Preview) My thoughts on Just For Today, a poem that is a bookmark in our program. I would like to extend a challenge to anyone that wants to participate, to work this into your life today, too, Just for Today: Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do someth...	Overcome	3	982	Jun 26, 2009 by Melissa21
	grateful for today (Preview) Today I felt more in control of my life than I have in years. I thank God for this day. I thank Him for allowing me and trusting me with three beautiful girls he sent for me to love ( my daughters). I thank Him for their laughs and smiles. I even thank Him for giving me the wisdom and courage to discipline t...	beacheemom	4	738	Jun 26, 2009 by Temple
	Working with the positive in front. (Preview) My sponsor who has never ever judged me or "should" me down suggested I keep the positive at the front of my life. Lately as you all know I have lost weight and gone all out to get healthy. As someone who was pretty much lethargic for me to exercise at all is incredible. I walk 10,000 steps a day...	maresie	7	912	Jun 26, 2009 by maire rua
	Went to second meeting. (Preview) I went to my second F2F meeting and learned two things. No crosstalk means we just sit and listen if somebody else is commenting, and we don't comment on the comment. Even if the other is suffering and we might have something to say that could help. Maybe that is what the sponsor is for. They were gen...	Temple	5	548	Jun 25, 2009 by nmike
	As for Today.... (Preview) I wanted to Say THANK YOU to all of you that Commented Yesterday...I can now laugh at myself over the ordeal, made all my contacts, now I have to sit and wait to hear the "Rest of the Story",... I got up this morning with best thoughts of accomplishment, and a better sense of self.. For me someti...	Jozie	2	637	Jun 25, 2009 by debilyn
	BEST news in a long time!!! (Preview) Im in a great mood!! Been testing 10 plus hours for a job I was referred to by someone here. Waited all day for my results and .... I PASSED!!! I got hired!!! Only 20 hours a week but the pay is pretty good so my next step is to start looking for apartments so I can get the heck out of here ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...	Melissa21	13	933	Jun 25, 2009 by Melissa21
	Promises (Preview) Another question. My husband told me this morning that he promises not to drink while I'm away at work today. I let slip "Don't do that." before I could stop myself. He asked me why I said that but I changed the subject. How should I respond to his promises? He makes promises to make me "...	Eve55	6	1001	Jun 25, 2009 by Melissa21
	Progress and growth-Part #1 (Preview) Was woke up the night before last at 4am by an outraged wife! To make a long story short, one of my internet friends who has been emailing/texting me has a wife! Now I had asked him several times and he swore NO NO NO.......and I had no reason whatsoever not to believe him, other than this little feeling t...	shellyj123	3	566	Jun 25, 2009 by kitty
	ok, just thought, just now (Preview) ok, I think I have been looking at this all wrong, I just realize that the decision to stay or leave an A husband, which i know I shouldn't make any rash decisions. I have been so far thinking about myself. It's not all about that, it's about my kids. I should be able to make myself happy in any situation, b...	Rachel262612	5	739	Jun 25, 2009 by ajay147
	Update on Last Week's Meeting (Preview) Last week I had written about a woman who was disruptive during my meeting and made me feel uncomfortable. Well after talking with God, I thought that perhaps she needed to be at that meeting and who am I to judge who should be there and who shouldn't. With that, I decided to reach out to her this week and...	N8SMOM	3	672	Jun 25, 2009 by kitty
	forgot to mention what I told my AH tonight- sorry so many posts (Preview) We were on the topice of our yard- AH mows it but that's it- so it needs weedeating really bad, it looks neglected and it's embarassing to me. Well, about a year ago our weedeater broke and never bought a new one. So, with me being on this new path I'm on, I called my Dad (step-dad) to see if i could borrow his f...	beacheemom	2	523	Jun 25, 2009 by beacheemom
	Just an update:) (Preview) Sorry I haven't been by lately, things have just been super busy work wise and the home PC was hit by a bug. Anyway things have been interesting and enlightening. The last time I posted was when I had ran into EXABF in Walmart and he had shunned my son. To cut to the chase-lol, I had an occassion after than...	shellyj123	3	700	Jun 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	confused on what I am supposed to do- just a few questions (Preview) hi everone, I am so grateful I found this place. Some of ya'll have probably read my other post, I wrote that when I first came to the board. I was angry, angry , angry. Since then, and it's only been a day or so, I have started applying step 1 to my life. It does make me feel better to know that I have not caus...	beacheemom	8	1110	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	Starting out - nothing changes until something changes - that way I gave myself self worth (Preview) I have found myself being asked again and again of late, "Where do I begin?" And I have noticed that there are quite a few newbies here, so I thought I would share my "Where do I start?" story. I am not here to advise I am here only to share my experience and tell you what worked for me an...	Suzannah	7	1907	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	talked with Ah (Preview) First thing this morn a sheriff called me, he is in my driveway. He says he has papers for me, I said,"oh what a drag!" lol of course I am a mess, lol lost a lot of fat have on baggy stretch cotton shorts,dark blue with marroon, white, yellow and turquoise paint on them. a blue tank top then a touqu...	debilyn	9	669	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	I need your prayers please (Preview) It seems odd to me to be writing this post so quickly after my last one that was soooooo different than this one's going to be. But please bear with me, again. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, or if you were able to get the gist, but I have a good and close relationship with my HP, which I call God. Some of y...	redfred	7	844	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	My relationship's over after 16 years and I don't know what to do (Preview) This is my first post so please bear with me if I sound like a newcomer, 'cause I am. J I've moved out of my A bf's house 10 days ago after a 16 year relationship and I'm somewhat lost. We've lived, played and worked together for over 1/3 of my life. After I started back to counseling in April 2008 to learn how...	redfred	11	1490	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	what to do about the 4th of July???? (Preview) My non alcholic daughter from Houston and her family are coming up for the 4th of July hoiday. The problem is whether to invite the adaughter for the week end. My brain says "no", but my heart says otherwise. Part of the problem is my two daughters are "crossways" with each ot...	clara	8	758	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	Detachment- What exactly is it? (Preview) I always read about detachment as a way to survive living with an alcoholic. I'm not sure how you detach and still love and stay emotionally involved and communicate and share time together. The word "detach" seems to say you don't do any of that OR you are spending time together but just n...	wifeofalcoholic	6	1780	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	20 lbs down. On the way to a goal without chaos intervening. (Preview) For the first time I no longer dread stepping on a scale. I am doing an incredible amount of physical exercise which is very new for me. I am so looking forward to the prospect of having to pack up my current clothes and more to the smaller clothes in my wardrobe. That time is coming and I can't wait to cel...	maresie	12	974	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	It's so hard to love this person (Preview) ughh... is it possible to actually be in love with an A? I pray about this quite often. I feel so much resentment towards my AH that I don't see how I could ever truly and unconditionally love him as long as he stays this way. My resentment is really bad. I'm so bitter deep inside at him. I may sound so cold as I...	beacheemom	11	775	Jun 25, 2009 by carolinagirl
	He is in his pit- ALONE! (Preview) Hi Guys! I saw my ah today, we have been separated for about 4 months. After 3 and a half months of blustering and threatening he is now entering his sad phase. Though it is very real to him and I have empathy for his deluded mentality, at the same time, I am so glad that finally I can see the "game"...	silver brumby	4	600	Jun 25, 2009 by debilyn
	What if he stops drinking, what do I do then?! (Preview) Today is a pretty good day. I am pondering where my life is going right now. My AH and I seem to be closer than we have been in years. He is still drinking but that's his business and not mine. He did go to an AA meeting the other day. Why? I am not exactly sure yet. Well, no, he did say it was because things were go...	wildthang86	3	835	Jun 25, 2009 by RLC
	SLOGAN SEARCH...Does anyone know... (Preview) Hey folks, I thought I heard someone on the board use a slogan that went something like this: pray on it, stay on it, (and something else that I don't remember). Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so, could you post the slogan? Thanks so much!	BlueCloud	1	404	Jun 25, 2009 by shellyj123
	It's the little things (Preview) I have been thinking a lot about my BF lately and his effect on my kids. The oldest says she hates him regularly but she hates everyone right now. I have come to the conclusion that she wants her mom, all of me, all the time no matter how much she says she hates me and he takes up some of that time. My middle d...	carolinagirl	1	598	Jun 25, 2009 by wildthang86
	Looking forward to this weekend (Preview) My new al-anon friend invited us over to her place for a bbq. She's letting me bring my 3 rugrats so that will be good as we can't really afford a babysitter. Her fiance sounds great and she told me he has a mini-cooper. My husband will be psyched. He's an "old car" kinda guy and new situatio...	Inpain	4	710	Jun 25, 2009 by blender_girl
	What a Day .... :( (Preview) OK, This is how my day has gone so far... Got Up EARLY to get Blood work done... "Yeah Me", get shower, get hair done, face on, husband up, boy up, out the door, get there OK, go in, they tell me that since "they" desided to check Something ELSE, that My Fasting 8 Hours was not good enou...	Jozie	4	886	Jun 24, 2009 by debilyn
	uuuummmm He signed that legislation (Preview) I wondeer what he'd do with ALCOHOL CONTROL legislation.... I watched as your president Obama signed the most recent Tobacco Control legislation and started to wonder....I wonder what he would do with Alcohol Legislation. As a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups I cannot and will not represent m...	Jerry F	12	865	Jun 24, 2009 by Aloha
	Gratitude Lists (Preview) Hello family- This may be off topic and if it is inappropriate for this forum, please feel free to let me know!!! I am wondering if anyone would care to be part of a Gratitude Group by which you exchange emails with members who are also in recovery programs, just basically sharing your daily gratitude. I...	RunnerChick	3	752	Jun 24, 2009 by rosielightshines
	newbie with new news (Preview) ok, I am new to this, very very new, with lots to learn, even though that it kind of makes me mad that i need to learn anything, that I even need to heel. Still angers me, but it makes me feel better at the same time, weird hugh. anyways, my A hasn't drank in two days, yay. This will be third, I have detached fro...	Rachel262612	4	696	Jun 24, 2009 by Rachel262612
	acoas and alcoholics - similar behaviors? help? (Preview) My husband is an acoa. His dad is a dry drunk - went to AA but not working the program as he "is in control". In all the many years I have been reading AA, Al-anon, and ACOA literature, I have yet to find something that will help me understand how ACOAs view their world. I have been to al-anon, b...	heatherranki	8	895	Jun 24, 2009 by heatherranki
	I HATE MY JOB!!! (Preview) I have had issues with my job but have stayed in it because it's "comfortable" meaning I can do other stuff as there's not that much to do here and nobody is breathing down my neck or bothering me. There are some things that are very disturbing to me and I tolerate them for a 4 day work week. I'm...	carolinagirl	6	807	Jun 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	a little gratitude (Preview) although i have been extremely miserable and depressed for the past few months before i started going to f2f meetings and coming here, i have to say: i am grateful today that this program has allowed me to gain a piece of myself back from alcoholism. thanks to everyone on this board for their posts. i re...	xter	2	572	Jun 23, 2009 by rosielightshines
	"Not into you" versus "Insecurity" (Preview) As I recently posted I have sorta been seeing this guy- when I say seeing I mean hanging out some- going out on the lake and for drinks and to his house. He showers me with compliments and tells me how great and pretty I am. He texts me throughout the day, but usually sends me a text around 8 or so when he gets...	Codependent	10	1167	Jun 23, 2009 by Codependent
	Putting the focus back on ourselves (Preview) This is my first time posting a new topic. My pain has motivated me to ask someone to sponsor me and to start doing the steps. I need and deserve a better life. I am scared but I am taking the next right action with the help of my HP. I love the alcoholic in my life. But I know if I don't change I will end up hating h...	Bella333	7	1536	Jun 23, 2009 by Bella333
	working my program even when resting (Preview) when i used to get tired in the program, i would work harder to make sure that at my tiredness and weakness i was protected.....now, i REST...i know that in my mind, in the quiet, while resting in my HP, i can still work my program.... i felt that if i wasn't working it 24/7, i was opening the door for the...	rosielightshines	4	763	Jun 23, 2009 by debilyn
	Husband wants to drive son around (Preview) Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...	N8SMOM	10	939	Jun 23, 2009 by kitty
	My dad didn't like his father's day gift (Preview) My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...	Tiger2006	9	675	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Is stepping back the same as detaching? (Preview) Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...	Suzannah	7	917	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	first time here, and feel lost and unsure- asking for some guidance please (Preview) I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...	beacheemom	10	1029	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Struggling to understanding 4 yr sober ABF (Preview) Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...	Star82	6	694	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Daughter called today, I told her "I told you so"!!!! (Preview) Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...	clara	7	741	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Sort of proud of myself (Preview) I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, I bou...	Inpain	3	645	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	I've been published (Preview) I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...	Mobirdie	15	833	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	So Annoying (Preview) My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...	N8SMOM	6	869	Jun 23, 2009 by glad lee
	How do I support when I feel so angry? (Preview) All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...	wifeofalcoholic	12	853	Jun 23, 2009 by wifeofalcoholic
	I'm a bit "burned out" (Preview) Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...	rosielightshines	3	734	Jun 23, 2009 by Temple
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.