Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

ok, I think I have been looking at this all wrong, I just realize that the decision to stay or leave an A husband, which i know I shouldn't make any rash decisions. I have been so far thinking about myself. It's not all about that, it's about my kids. I should be able to make myself happy in any situation, b...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Last week I had written about a woman who was disruptive during my meeting and made me feel uncomfortable. Well after talking with God, I thought that perhaps she needed to be at that meeting and who am I to judge who should be there and who shouldn't. With that, I decided to reach out to her this week and...

beacheemom · beacheemom

We were on the topice of our yard- AH mows it but that's it- so it needs weedeating really bad, it looks neglected and it's embarassing to me. Well, about a year ago our weedeater broke and never bought a new one. So, with me being on this new path I'm on, I called my Dad (step-dad) to see if i could borrow his f...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Sorry I haven't been by lately, things have just been super busy work wise and the home PC was hit by a bug. Anyway things have been interesting and enlightening. The last time I posted was when I had ran into EXABF in Walmart and he had shunned my son. To cut to the chase-lol, I had an occassion after than...

beacheemom · beacheemom

hi everone, I am so grateful I found this place. Some of ya'll have probably read my other post, I wrote that when I first came to the board. I was angry, angry , angry. Since then, and it's only been a day or so, I have started applying step 1 to my life. It does make me feel better to know that I have not caus...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I have found myself being asked again and again of late, "Where do I begin?" And I have noticed that there are quite a few newbies here, so I thought I would share my "Where do I start?" story. I am not here to advise I am here only to share my experience and tell you what worked for me an...

debilyn · debilyn

First thing this morn a sheriff called me, he is in my driveway. He says he has papers for me, I said,"oh what a drag!" lol of course I am a mess, lol lost a lot of fat have on baggy stretch cotton shorts,dark blue with marroon, white, yellow and turquoise paint on them. a blue tank top then a touqu...

redfred · redfred

It seems odd to me to be writing this post so quickly after my last one that was soooooo different than this one's going to be. But please bear with me, again. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, or if you were able to get the gist, but I have a good and close relationship with my HP, which I call God. Some of y...

redfred · redfred

This is my first post so please bear with me if I sound like a newcomer, 'cause I am. J I've moved out of my A bf's house 10 days ago after a 16 year relationship and I'm somewhat lost. We've lived, played and worked together for over 1/3 of my life. After I started back to counseling in April 2008 to learn how...

clara · clara

My non alcholic daughter from Houston and her family are coming up for the 4th of July hoiday. The problem is whether to invite the adaughter for the week end. My brain says "no", but my heart says otherwise. Part of the problem is my two daughters are "crossways" with each ot...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I always read about detachment as a way to survive living with an alcoholic. I'm not sure how you detach and still love and stay emotionally involved and communicate and share time together. The word "detach" seems to say you don't do any of that OR you are spending time together but just n...

maresie · maresie

For the first time I no longer dread stepping on a scale. I am doing an incredible amount of physical exercise which is very new for me. I am so looking forward to the prospect of having to pack up my current clothes and more to the smaller clothes in my wardrobe. That time is coming and I can't wait to cel...

beacheemom · beacheemom

ughh... is it possible to actually be in love with an A? I pray about this quite often. I feel so much resentment towards my AH that I don't see how I could ever truly and unconditionally love him as long as he stays this way. My resentment is really bad. I'm so bitter deep inside at him. I may sound so cold as I...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Hi Guys! I saw my ah today, we have been separated for about 4 months. After 3 and a half months of blustering and threatening he is now entering his sad phase. Though it is very real to him and I have empathy for his deluded mentality, at the same time, I am so glad that finally I can see the "game"...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Today is a pretty good day. I am pondering where my life is going right now. My AH and I seem to be closer than we have been in years. He is still drinking but that's his business and not mine. He did go to an AA meeting the other day. Why? I am not exactly sure yet. Well, no, he did say it was because things were go...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Hey folks, I thought I heard someone on the board use a slogan that went something like this: pray on it, stay on it, (and something else that I don't remember). Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so, could you post the slogan? Thanks so much!

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot about my BF lately and his effect on my kids. The oldest says she hates him regularly but she hates everyone right now. I have come to the conclusion that she wants her mom, all of me, all the time no matter how much she says she hates me and he takes up some of that time. My middle d...

Inpain · Inpain

My new al-anon friend invited us over to her place for a bbq. She's letting me bring my 3 rugrats so that will be good as we can't really afford a babysitter. Her fiance sounds great and she told me he has a mini-cooper. My husband will be psyched. He's an "old car" kinda guy and new situatio...

Jozie · Jozie

OK, This is how my day has gone so far... Got Up EARLY to get Blood work done... "Yeah Me", get shower, get hair done, face on, husband up, boy up, out the door, get there OK, go in, they tell me that since "they" desided to check Something ELSE, that My Fasting 8 Hours was not good enou...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I wondeer what he'd do with ALCOHOL CONTROL legislation.... I watched as your president Obama signed the most recent Tobacco Control legislation and started to wonder....I wonder what he would do with Alcohol Legislation. As a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups I cannot and will not represent m...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Hello family- This may be off topic and if it is inappropriate for this forum, please feel free to let me know!!! I am wondering if anyone would care to be part of a Gratitude Group by which you exchange emails with members who are also in recovery programs, just basically sharing your daily gratitude. I...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

ok, I am new to this, very very new, with lots to learn, even though that it kind of makes me mad that i need to learn anything, that I even need to heel. Still angers me, but it makes me feel better at the same time, weird hugh. anyways, my A hasn't drank in two days, yay. This will be third, I have detached fro...

heatherranki · heatherranki

My husband is an acoa. His dad is a dry drunk - went to AA but not working the program as he "is in control". In all the many years I have been reading AA, Al-anon, and ACOA literature, I have yet to find something that will help me understand how ACOAs view their world. I have been to al-anon, b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have had issues with my job but have stayed in it because it's "comfortable" meaning I can do other stuff as there's not that much to do here and nobody is breathing down my neck or bothering me. There are some things that are very disturbing to me and I tolerate them for a 4 day work week. I'm...

xter · xter

although i have been extremely miserable and depressed for the past few months before i started going to f2f meetings and coming here, i have to say: i am grateful today that this program has allowed me to gain a piece of myself back from alcoholism. thanks to everyone on this board for their posts. i re...

Codependent · Codependent

As I recently posted I have sorta been seeing this guy- when I say seeing I mean hanging out some- going out on the lake and for drinks and to his house. He showers me with compliments and tells me how great and pretty I am. He texts me throughout the day, but usually sends me a text around 8 or so when he gets...

Bella333 · Bella333

This is my first time posting a new topic. My pain has motivated me to ask someone to sponsor me and to start doing the steps. I need and deserve a better life. I am scared but I am taking the next right action with the help of my HP. I love the alcoholic in my life. But I know if I don't change I will end up hating h...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

when i used to get tired in the program, i would work *harder* to make sure that at my tiredness and weakness i was *protected*.....now, i REST...i know that in my mind, in the quiet, while resting in my HP, i can still work my program.... i felt that if i wasn't working it 24/7, i was opening the door for the...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...

Star82 · Star82

Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...

clara · clara

Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, *I* bou...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...

odaat · odaat

I have been on the roller coaster from h*** for quite some time now. Eight days ago I asked my AH to pack and go since he refused to see his alcohol addiction was hurting the entire family. For the first time in a long time I felt sane and happy again. He called the next morning to inform me he was checking h...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Well, after another day of the drama that ensues with drinking, I have finally reached my limit. I'm DONE. I can't do this any more. I just can't take the repetitive lecture, innuendo and outright insults to me, my character and my background any longer. I called a trusted friend who has 15+ years...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I calmed myself down and got to remembering how wonderful I am and relaxed about meeting the parents as I know they're going to think whatever they're going to think and me being nervous isn't going to help anything. My BF said the magic words... it doesn't matter if they like you or not it only matters...

debilyn · debilyn

Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life. My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him. I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for aw...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I had forgotten that I still had the text for the article on my computer. I made the corrections so that my copy will match theirs. They do say in the instructions that they might alter the copy a bit for publication. It will be in the July 2009 issue.EnjoyBarbMother recognizes detachment as key to so...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

One of my favorite meetings is on Wednesday nights. We had a newcomer recently (she's been there a few times), and there's just something "not right" about her. She always seems very depressed and quite often says that she's an alcoholic (but also that her whole family are alcoholics)....

Mik · Mik

I have become my own worst enemy, a person possessed, on the brink of a total emotional collapse. As much a I seek to calm my fears, insecurities, anger, and letting go, I seem to have these moments of complete insanity and I do things only to think about the consequences of my actions when it's too late. I...

Christy · Christy

For several months I've been dealing with some "stuff", so much that I haven't even wanted to share much of it. Ever been to the point that it's so much you don't want to talk or think about it anymore? I'm still there but I've been constantly grateful for the use of Alanon tools through...

Temple · Temple

I was reading the quote about "I can throw a fit; I can throw all the dishes," and I remembered a time decades ago when AH (and I didn't even realize it then) peeved me off, so to speak, one morning as I was unloading the dishes. He had broken a parfait glass that had been a wedding present and I w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am just so worried about my daughter and the choices she is making with guys.....She was with her daughters father they broke up because he did not treat her well....She finally listened to me..... However, now she is with another guy, at first, he seemed to have it together now I am not...

countrygirl84 · countrygirl84

I'm not really sure where to start in here. A few months ago, I met an amazing wonderful guy and found out soon into it that he was a recovering alcoholic. He was very open and honest about it and I thought it would be no big deal because he was handling it. I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and ra...

Christy · Christy

This movie is a free download. You will hear some tidbits of "recovery speak", as Dr. Dyer was once an alcoholic. It's very inspiring. He speaks of the knowing within us and trusting in ourselves and much much more. There are several different stories going on simultaniously. All ar...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

My sponsor and I were talking, b4 we broke up and we discussed marriage and love......She had been married multiple times...I was a two time divorcee....We wondered WHAT really is the essence of happiness...Does a woman or man *have* to be married in order to feel whole????? I used to think so.... I u...

Overcome · Overcome

My ex-husband made some very poor choices when we were going through our divorce in 2004. It caused him to have to see his only daughter under only supervised visitation conditions ever since. My ex-husband is the ACOA father, who physically, mentally, verbably, spiritually and sexually abused hi...

weary · weary

I need to know what constitutes an alcoholic? That may sound a bit strange but I just feel so confused by my husbands behavior. Is there a spectrum of alcholisim? Can someone be a bigger alcholic than another? My husband drinks on average 3 times a week. He always does it when he is golfing. The bi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wanted to give a little update with how it worked out on setting the boundaries with my boyfriend. He has done every single one of the things that I laid out. I am meeting his dad and step mom this weekend and he has already told them about us. He got tested for std's. I have been slipping on the con...

david62 · david62

Hi FamilyI was thinking about change last night. I read a share from someone in another group about the way streams sometimes meander out of their beds and alter their paths. As I was reading it, I was reminded of something my sponsor...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm finally meeting the boyfriend's parents after 5 months of dating and am sort of beating myself up a little bit. I am full of reasons that they are going to hate me, I'm fat, I'm old, I have a bunch of kids, I'm liberal and they are very conservative, they are religious and I'm not, he deserves better...

java · java

Katy's topic heading triggered me to write this post. Isn't it funny how the program works. David's post triggered Katy's post which triggered mine! Anyway, the reason for this post is my A and I are back together at least at some level. I haven't filed for divorce and am not going to right now. Just fo...

jojo38 · jojo38

first of all i would like to say hello to everyone on here and this is my first post. my story goes like this, please be patient in reading as it may go on for a while. i was once in a long term relationship of 15 yrs with my ex from whom i have 2 beautiful grown up children, i have since moved out of that relations...

needaway · needaway

This is my first proper post. I need to vent As it is fathers day, I invited my AB up for a meal with me and our son. When I asked him to come up, he said as long as we can eat at 1pm. I said it would probably be nearer 2pm as my mother would be going to church and 1pm would be too early for her. He said fine as long as he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ok, just thought, just now (Preview) ok, I think I have been looking at this all wrong, I just realize that the decision to stay or leave an A husband, which i know I shouldn't make any rash decisions. I have been so far thinking about myself. It's not all about that, it's about my kids. I should be able to make myself happy in any situation, b...	Rachel262612	5	717	Jun 25, 2009 by ajay147
	Update on Last Week's Meeting (Preview) Last week I had written about a woman who was disruptive during my meeting and made me feel uncomfortable. Well after talking with God, I thought that perhaps she needed to be at that meeting and who am I to judge who should be there and who shouldn't. With that, I decided to reach out to her this week and...	N8SMOM	3	648	Jun 25, 2009 by kitty
	forgot to mention what I told my AH tonight- sorry so many posts (Preview) We were on the topice of our yard- AH mows it but that's it- so it needs weedeating really bad, it looks neglected and it's embarassing to me. Well, about a year ago our weedeater broke and never bought a new one. So, with me being on this new path I'm on, I called my Dad (step-dad) to see if i could borrow his f...	beacheemom	2	505	Jun 25, 2009 by beacheemom
	Just an update:) (Preview) Sorry I haven't been by lately, things have just been super busy work wise and the home PC was hit by a bug. Anyway things have been interesting and enlightening. The last time I posted was when I had ran into EXABF in Walmart and he had shunned my son. To cut to the chase-lol, I had an occassion after than...	shellyj123	3	684	Jun 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	confused on what I am supposed to do- just a few questions (Preview) hi everone, I am so grateful I found this place. Some of ya'll have probably read my other post, I wrote that when I first came to the board. I was angry, angry , angry. Since then, and it's only been a day or so, I have started applying step 1 to my life. It does make me feel better to know that I have not caus...	beacheemom	8	1092	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	Starting out - nothing changes until something changes - that way I gave myself self worth (Preview) I have found myself being asked again and again of late, "Where do I begin?" And I have noticed that there are quite a few newbies here, so I thought I would share my "Where do I start?" story. I am not here to advise I am here only to share my experience and tell you what worked for me an...	Suzannah	7	1835	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	talked with Ah (Preview) First thing this morn a sheriff called me, he is in my driveway. He says he has papers for me, I said,"oh what a drag!" lol of course I am a mess, lol lost a lot of fat have on baggy stretch cotton shorts,dark blue with marroon, white, yellow and turquoise paint on them. a blue tank top then a touqu...	debilyn	9	652	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	I need your prayers please (Preview) It seems odd to me to be writing this post so quickly after my last one that was soooooo different than this one's going to be. But please bear with me, again. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, or if you were able to get the gist, but I have a good and close relationship with my HP, which I call God. Some of y...	redfred	7	828	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	My relationship's over after 16 years and I don't know what to do (Preview) This is my first post so please bear with me if I sound like a newcomer, 'cause I am. J I've moved out of my A bf's house 10 days ago after a 16 year relationship and I'm somewhat lost. We've lived, played and worked together for over 1/3 of my life. After I started back to counseling in April 2008 to learn how...	redfred	11	1464	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	what to do about the 4th of July???? (Preview) My non alcholic daughter from Houston and her family are coming up for the 4th of July hoiday. The problem is whether to invite the adaughter for the week end. My brain says "no", but my heart says otherwise. Part of the problem is my two daughters are "crossways" with each ot...	clara	8	737	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	Detachment- What exactly is it? (Preview) I always read about detachment as a way to survive living with an alcoholic. I'm not sure how you detach and still love and stay emotionally involved and communicate and share time together. The word "detach" seems to say you don't do any of that OR you are spending time together but just n...	wifeofalcoholic	6	1763	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	20 lbs down. On the way to a goal without chaos intervening. (Preview) For the first time I no longer dread stepping on a scale. I am doing an incredible amount of physical exercise which is very new for me. I am so looking forward to the prospect of having to pack up my current clothes and more to the smaller clothes in my wardrobe. That time is coming and I can't wait to cel...	maresie	12	951	Jun 25, 2009 by maresie
	It's so hard to love this person (Preview) ughh... is it possible to actually be in love with an A? I pray about this quite often. I feel so much resentment towards my AH that I don't see how I could ever truly and unconditionally love him as long as he stays this way. My resentment is really bad. I'm so bitter deep inside at him. I may sound so cold as I...	beacheemom	11	757	Jun 25, 2009 by carolinagirl
	He is in his pit- ALONE! (Preview) Hi Guys! I saw my ah today, we have been separated for about 4 months. After 3 and a half months of blustering and threatening he is now entering his sad phase. Though it is very real to him and I have empathy for his deluded mentality, at the same time, I am so glad that finally I can see the "game"...	silver brumby	4	583	Jun 25, 2009 by debilyn
	What if he stops drinking, what do I do then?! (Preview) Today is a pretty good day. I am pondering where my life is going right now. My AH and I seem to be closer than we have been in years. He is still drinking but that's his business and not mine. He did go to an AA meeting the other day. Why? I am not exactly sure yet. Well, no, he did say it was because things were go...	wildthang86	3	809	Jun 25, 2009 by RLC
	SLOGAN SEARCH...Does anyone know... (Preview) Hey folks, I thought I heard someone on the board use a slogan that went something like this: pray on it, stay on it, (and something else that I don't remember). Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so, could you post the slogan? Thanks so much!	BlueCloud	1	388	Jun 25, 2009 by shellyj123
	It's the little things (Preview) I have been thinking a lot about my BF lately and his effect on my kids. The oldest says she hates him regularly but she hates everyone right now. I have come to the conclusion that she wants her mom, all of me, all the time no matter how much she says she hates me and he takes up some of that time. My middle d...	carolinagirl	1	579	Jun 25, 2009 by wildthang86
	Looking forward to this weekend (Preview) My new al-anon friend invited us over to her place for a bbq. She's letting me bring my 3 rugrats so that will be good as we can't really afford a babysitter. Her fiance sounds great and she told me he has a mini-cooper. My husband will be psyched. He's an "old car" kinda guy and new situatio...	Inpain	4	694	Jun 25, 2009 by blender_girl
	What a Day .... :( (Preview) OK, This is how my day has gone so far... Got Up EARLY to get Blood work done... "Yeah Me", get shower, get hair done, face on, husband up, boy up, out the door, get there OK, go in, they tell me that since "they" desided to check Something ELSE, that My Fasting 8 Hours was not good enou...	Jozie	4	861	Jun 24, 2009 by debilyn
	uuuummmm He signed that legislation (Preview) I wondeer what he'd do with ALCOHOL CONTROL legislation.... I watched as your president Obama signed the most recent Tobacco Control legislation and started to wonder....I wonder what he would do with Alcohol Legislation. As a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups I cannot and will not represent m...	Jerry F	12	849	Jun 24, 2009 by Aloha
	Gratitude Lists (Preview) Hello family- This may be off topic and if it is inappropriate for this forum, please feel free to let me know!!! I am wondering if anyone would care to be part of a Gratitude Group by which you exchange emails with members who are also in recovery programs, just basically sharing your daily gratitude. I...	RunnerChick	3	704	Jun 24, 2009 by rosielightshines
	newbie with new news (Preview) ok, I am new to this, very very new, with lots to learn, even though that it kind of makes me mad that i need to learn anything, that I even need to heel. Still angers me, but it makes me feel better at the same time, weird hugh. anyways, my A hasn't drank in two days, yay. This will be third, I have detached fro...	Rachel262612	4	679	Jun 24, 2009 by Rachel262612
	acoas and alcoholics - similar behaviors? help? (Preview) My husband is an acoa. His dad is a dry drunk - went to AA but not working the program as he "is in control". In all the many years I have been reading AA, Al-anon, and ACOA literature, I have yet to find something that will help me understand how ACOAs view their world. I have been to al-anon, b...	heatherranki	8	876	Jun 24, 2009 by heatherranki
	I HATE MY JOB!!! (Preview) I have had issues with my job but have stayed in it because it's "comfortable" meaning I can do other stuff as there's not that much to do here and nobody is breathing down my neck or bothering me. There are some things that are very disturbing to me and I tolerate them for a 4 day work week. I'm...	carolinagirl	6	787	Jun 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	a little gratitude (Preview) although i have been extremely miserable and depressed for the past few months before i started going to f2f meetings and coming here, i have to say: i am grateful today that this program has allowed me to gain a piece of myself back from alcoholism. thanks to everyone on this board for their posts. i re...	xter	2	552	Jun 23, 2009 by rosielightshines
	"Not into you" versus "Insecurity" (Preview) As I recently posted I have sorta been seeing this guy- when I say seeing I mean hanging out some- going out on the lake and for drinks and to his house. He showers me with compliments and tells me how great and pretty I am. He texts me throughout the day, but usually sends me a text around 8 or so when he gets...	Codependent	10	1147	Jun 23, 2009 by Codependent
	Putting the focus back on ourselves (Preview) This is my first time posting a new topic. My pain has motivated me to ask someone to sponsor me and to start doing the steps. I need and deserve a better life. I am scared but I am taking the next right action with the help of my HP. I love the alcoholic in my life. But I know if I don't change I will end up hating h...	Bella333	7	1440	Jun 23, 2009 by Bella333
	working my program even when resting (Preview) when i used to get tired in the program, i would work harder to make sure that at my tiredness and weakness i was protected.....now, i REST...i know that in my mind, in the quiet, while resting in my HP, i can still work my program.... i felt that if i wasn't working it 24/7, i was opening the door for the...	rosielightshines	4	739	Jun 23, 2009 by debilyn
	Husband wants to drive son around (Preview) Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...	N8SMOM	10	913	Jun 23, 2009 by kitty
	My dad didn't like his father's day gift (Preview) My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...	Tiger2006	9	659	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Is stepping back the same as detaching? (Preview) Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...	Suzannah	7	892	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	first time here, and feel lost and unsure- asking for some guidance please (Preview) I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...	beacheemom	10	989	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Struggling to understanding 4 yr sober ABF (Preview) Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...	Star82	6	672	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Daughter called today, I told her "I told you so"!!!! (Preview) Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...	clara	7	716	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Sort of proud of myself (Preview) I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, I bou...	Inpain	3	630	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	I've been published (Preview) I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...	Mobirdie	15	816	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	So Annoying (Preview) My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...	N8SMOM	6	850	Jun 23, 2009 by glad lee
	How do I support when I feel so angry? (Preview) All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...	wifeofalcoholic	12	834	Jun 23, 2009 by wifeofalcoholic
	I'm a bit "burned out" (Preview) Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...	rosielightshines	3	703	Jun 23, 2009 by Temple
	Feeling Proud Of My AH Today!! (Preview) I have been on the roller coaster from h*** for quite some time now. Eight days ago I asked my AH to pack and go since he refused to see his alcohol addiction was hurting the entire family. For the first time in a long time I felt sane and happy again. He called the next morning to inform me he was checking h...	odaat	4	661	Jun 23, 2009 by odaat
	Stick a fork in me, I'm DONE (Preview) Well, after another day of the drama that ensues with drinking, I have finally reached my limit. I'm DONE. I can't do this any more. I just can't take the repetitive lecture, innuendo and outright insults to me, my character and my background any longer. I called a trusted friend who has 15+ years...	blender_girl	3	665	Jun 23, 2009 by Melissa21
	Update (Preview) I calmed myself down and got to remembering how wonderful I am and relaxed about meeting the parents as I know they're going to think whatever they're going to think and me being nervous isn't going to help anything. My BF said the magic words... it doesn't matter if they like you or not it only matters...	carolinagirl	4	682	Jun 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	Wthout Al Anon (Preview) Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life. My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him. I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for aw...	debilyn	5	670	Jun 22, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Forum Article (Preview) I had forgotten that I still had the text for the article on my computer. I made the corrections so that my copy will match theirs. They do say in the instructions that they might alter the copy a bit for publication. It will be in the July 2009 issue.EnjoyBarbMother recognizes detachment as key to so...	Mobirdie	9	1038	Jun 22, 2009 by maire rua
	Problem with a F2F Meeting (Preview) One of my favorite meetings is on Wednesday nights. We had a newcomer recently (she's been there a few times), and there's just something "not right" about her. She always seems very depressed and quite often says that she's an alcoholic (but also that her whole family are alcoholics)....	N8SMOM	10	909	Jun 22, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	I am my own worst enemy... (Preview) I have become my own worst enemy, a person possessed, on the brink of a total emotional collapse. As much a I seek to calm my fears, insecurities, anger, and letting go, I seem to have these moments of complete insanity and I do things only to think about the consequences of my actions when it's too late. I...	Mik	4	570	Jun 22, 2009 by debilyn
	The wisdom of my Asober husband :) (Preview) For several months I've been dealing with some "stuff", so much that I haven't even wanted to share much of it. Ever been to the point that it's so much you don't want to talk or think about it anymore? I'm still there but I've been constantly grateful for the use of Alanon tools through...	Christy	10	573	Jun 22, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	I remembered a funny. (Preview) I was reading the quote about "I can throw a fit; I can throw all the dishes," and I remembered a time decades ago when AH (and I didn't even realize it then) peeved me off, so to speak, one morning as I was unloading the dishes. He had broken a parfait glass that had been a wedding present and I w...	Temple	6	746	Jun 22, 2009 by Temple
	Daughter trying to replace Father???? (Preview) Hello Friends, I am just so worried about my daughter and the choices she is making with guys.....She was with her daughters father they broke up because he did not treat her well....She finally listened to me..... However, now she is with another guy, at first, he seemed to have it together now I am not...	Andrea12	3	429	Jun 22, 2009 by blender_girl
	At a loss - dating a recovering alcoholic (Preview) I'm not really sure where to start in here. A few months ago, I met an amazing wonderful guy and found out soon into it that he was a recovering alcoholic. He was very open and honest about it and I thought it would be no big deal because he was handling it. I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and ra...	countrygirl84	18	8877	Jun 22, 2009 by SatoriGirl
	The Shift, Wayne Dyer (Preview) This movie is a free download. You will hear some tidbits of "recovery speak", as Dr. Dyer was once an alcoholic. It's very inspiring. He speaks of the knowing within us and trusting in ourselves and much much more. There are several different stories going on simultaniously. All ar...	Christy	3	3463	Jun 22, 2009 by Christy
	Growing from HALF a woman to WHOLE (Preview) My sponsor and I were talking, b4 we broke up and we discussed marriage and love......She had been married multiple times...I was a two time divorcee....We wondered WHAT really is the essence of happiness...Does a woman or man have to be married in order to feel whole????? I used to think so.... I u...	rosielightshines	2	530	Jun 21, 2009 by xter
	Daughter has to see dad under supervised visitation on Father's Day...sad (Preview) My ex-husband made some very poor choices when we were going through our divorce in 2004. It caused him to have to see his only daughter under only supervised visitation conditions ever since. My ex-husband is the ACOA father, who physically, mentally, verbably, spiritually and sexually abused hi...	Overcome	3	1335	Jun 21, 2009 by RobinSchwalb
	Is there a spectrum of alcoholism? (Preview) I need to know what constitutes an alcoholic? That may sound a bit strange but I just feel so confused by my husbands behavior. Is there a spectrum of alcholisim? Can someone be a bigger alcholic than another? My husband drinks on average 3 times a week. He always does it when he is golfing. The bi...	weary	7	775	Jun 21, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Update on BF (Preview) Just wanted to give a little update with how it worked out on setting the boundaries with my boyfriend. He has done every single one of the things that I laid out. I am meeting his dad and step mom this weekend and he has already told them about us. He got tested for std's. I have been slipping on the con...	carolinagirl	6	762	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Changing How I Mow the Grass (Preview) <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } -->Hi FamilyI was thinking about change last night. I read a share from someone in another group about the way streams sometimes meander out of their beds and alter their paths. As I was reading it, I was reminded of something my sponsor...	david62	9	573	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Meeting the parents (Preview) So I'm finally meeting the boyfriend's parents after 5 months of dating and am sort of beating myself up a little bit. I am full of reasons that they are going to hate me, I'm fat, I'm old, I have a bunch of kids, I'm liberal and they are very conservative, they are religious and I'm not, he deserves better...	carolinagirl	5	640	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results! (Preview) Katy's topic heading triggered me to write this post. Isn't it funny how the program works. David's post triggered Katy's post which triggered mine! Anyway, the reason for this post is my A and I are back together at least at some level. I haven't filed for divorce and am not going to right now. Just fo...	java	7	2780	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	would like some advice please on my next step (Preview) first of all i would like to say hello to everyone on here and this is my first post. my story goes like this, please be patient in reading as it may go on for a while. i was once in a long term relationship of 15 yrs with my ex from whom i have 2 beautiful grown up children, i have since moved out of that relations...	jojo38	5	719	Jun 21, 2009 by kitty
	The Insanity of it all (Preview) This is my first proper post. I need to vent As it is fathers day, I invited my AB up for a meal with me and our son. When I asked him to come up, he said as long as we can eat at 1pm. I said it would probably be nearer 2pm as my mother would be going to church and 1pm would be too early for her. He said fine as long as he...	needaway	4	756	Jun 21, 2009 by Temple
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.