The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am finding myself to be a little bored lately. I try to keep busy but seem to still be bored. I am doing better this time of my life. I am getting along pretty well with my husband & somewhat better with my mom. Sometimes I just want to go to meetings again like I mentioned before without my mom there. On Weds.(every other) my mom goes to a meeting that I want to go to without her. I guess I am being selfish for not wanting her to be there. I have mentioned this before& got a lot of feedback from y'all. There are only two Alanon meetings in my town. Sometimes I get to go to a meeting in a much larger city than our small town of almost 3000 people. Back to boredom. I hope that I can find more activities in my town. At this time I sit at our local museum. I am still trying to find my passion & purpose in life. Sometimes I wonder why I am here. I get on my pity pot & put myself down. Sunday afternoon I had a meltdown! It was awful! I wasn't feeling grateful or working my program at all. I guess I had a day of relapse or a slip. Now I am trying to feel useful & worthwhile. I want to get over the fact that I feel very "imperfect" & very "flawed". I know that I am a child of God. And that God doesn't make junk! I will be more patient with myself & give myself a break this week. Maybe I will go for longer walks & enjoy these lovely summer days. Boy do I take for granted all the things that are so obviously blessings. Just being able to see the beauty in God's creation should be enough! Thanks for reading my obvious ramblings & complaints. I will make my comments shorter next time. Just me Kathleen
The good thing about this program is the fact that it will allow us to sit on the "ole pity pot" as long as we like.
Another thing the program helps us to do when we decide, is to get up from the pity pot, smile and be grateful, and thankful for the things we do have.
Which reminds me, I haven't made my greatful list today, because I also have spent a little time on my pity pot.
I'm on pity pot, and am going to get off after me time tomorrow, we all need a litte r & r sometimes, so don't be too hard on yourself, not easy to be perfect all the time
Your share was wonderful! Don't you dare feel like you need to make them shorter!
Hoot (*v*) could not help myself! In my experience, which is super rare, boredom is more of an emotion like depression, fear, happiness, joy.
When I read your post, I wanted to say,"please be good to yourself!" Being hard on ones self, telling your pretty head negative things, just causes one to feel negative!
I used to do that. Hated myself, honestly thought I was too fat to live, too fat for sex, etc. stupid awful stuff.
What I did was when I started that boloney was stay STOP in my head and put in,"I am ok just the way I am!" Then, I feel so pretty today, I am an esoteric, earth woman, I love the body I was given, I love my arms that are like my gmas, I love the muscles I have, I love the heart I was given.
It worked! I can tell you hon, I NEVER say anything bad about me, I never said anything bad about anyone else so why didn't I love me?
I began losing fat, moved around more, smiled at everyone, opened my mouth at college, even though I was usually older than anyone in the room,including the profs.
I was GLAD I am unique, am not going to allow anyone to tell me I am TOO EMOTIONAL, I love animals too much, dumb that I don't like crowds, on and on.
When I learned I loved the me I was given, I allowed my true passions to come out! I was creative and taught myself many independant learning classes. Meaning I made up my curriculum with the professor grading me. (I know my spelling is not like it used to be, who cares?)
I liked me for putting my pot bellied piglet in a front pack I made. Carried him, Sweet William wherever I went when he was on a bottle. lol People would want to see my "baby." Man were they surprised, lol !
Hoot, until we love ourselves, I don't believe we can get in touch with our passions. I learned being bored was my not being aware of my self. Was too cloudy with being concerned of failing when I never was or was close to!
I was so upset in this typing class. My little fingers have always been crooked and weak. Told the prof this, she said what are you talking about? YOu already have an A. gads.
Anyway I bet you a kiss from my pig ArnScwarz, who has the softest lips in the world, when you tell you all the good things about you, never ever saying bad things, you will find your passions!
I know I have things to work on, who doesn't. But that does not mean I am a failure. I always told my student, who cares you have a D and an F, look at that C and B's!!! D and F just means you have more to learn!
Anyway YES the earth is the answer, it just does, does over and over, is so diverse, yet always the same.
Keep on your path, tell you that you are a hoot. I love hoots.
hugs,smoinks,debilyn unique not wierd or is it weird...spell check, oh spell check please! (o:
