Some of you will remember my "checking for ticks" post, others might even remember my "I've had enough" post, under my old nick of Java, concerning my dry drunk husband. My most recent post was a decision I made to go back into the relationship entitled "doing the same thing over and over". I think I realized then that when we keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, this is the definition of insanity.

I just didn't want to give up on the marriage. It started with him asking me to come over to "fix his antenna" another ruse, that led me down a path that I now wish I hadn't gone. I'm not sure why, I wasn't ready to give up on the marriage at that point, but sometimes I guess we just have to get "sick and tired of being sick and tired".

Over the past several weeks it has become clear that nothing has changed. And as someone said in here, "nothing changes until something changes" and that "something" has to be me. He has argued with me repeatedly about issues that are not worth arguing about. Makes comments about my weight continueously. Most recent one comparing me to a severely obsese woman at a rodeo and telling me I was going to end up that way if I didn't quit eating. He has accused me of being seen with another man and swears that people have seen me with this man. I have not been with another man. I think he is just making it up or is delusional.

I finally realized that if I keep doing the same thing I've always done, I'll keep getting the same thing I've always got. And that is insanity for me today. Once he refused to talk to me one day and finally emailed me that two people had seen me with another man in two differnent places on Father's Day, and I knew that I had not been with any such man, I knew that it had gone on long enough. I'm a slower learner than others I guess, but I finally got it. I'd had enough! I told him that I was going to file for divorce, the second time.

Bring the games on! He's started playing games with me. Can I bring over my trash for trash day? Can I have recliner (that was bought with my mother's money). Can we trade your old queen size bed, for newer and nicer full size mattress and springs, chest, one bedside table, etc. etc. All this in emails. I blocked his email address.

I told him that I would not be talking to him over the phone anymore. He could talk to my lawyer. Then the other night he calls my daughter on her cell phone and gets information from her about what we are doing. I told him not to call her anymore and I told her not to answer his phone calls.

I think I am dealing with a severely irrational person. Desperate in many ways. He has stalked me before and made repeated phone calls (although those have stopped). I am just wondering how others have handled a delusional person like this that is obviously obsessed with me and my family.

I don't know if I have enough on him yet to file an order of protection, but if things continue I think I probably will have. I will ask my lawyer about this. The hardest thing about this is, that this is someone that I once loved and to see him behaving in this way is just so heartbreaking. But I have to do what's best for my daughter and for me.

Thanks for listening to me vent, once again, about this relationship.

Overcome (formerly Java)



-- Edited by Overcome on Saturday 27th of June 2009 09:17:19 PM