The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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I have just found this board, or maybe it found me!!! I am so so desperate for some advice.
My wife is 5 months pregnant, and she won't stop drinking... What the hell do i do???
From day one, i know she has made no secret that she will have a drink "every now and then". But, on Sunday, it was her birthday (and Fathers day too). And she got wasted. she just wouldn't stop.
She drinks alchol free beer, when I'm around, but, I find empty wine bottles everywhere.
This is our third child together. she never drank a drop with our first. Very little, if any, with our second. But, this time, she has no reserevations at all it seems.
I think I might in this situation call my local pregnancy center and ask them what I should/can do. I would want to know what my parental rights were for this in-utero child. I believe that if someone were jeopardizing the health and welfare of my child (this IS your child too), I'd want to do whatever it took to protect them.
I have first hand experience, knowing someone with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and I know it is very real and can be a very debilitating lifelong disability.
Normally in Al-Anon they tell you to let the alcoholic find their own sobriety, but in this case, you may be able to take legal actions since she is carrying your child. I agree with Rora, contact your wife's doctor or maybe even the police to see what can be done. I'm sure you don't want your wife to spend her pregnancy in jail, but at least the police can tell you what laws and rights you may have. Good luck!
Ajay, I am glad to see that some people who have been working the program for a long time could give you some ideas about where you might go to get help. We are glad you are here, and I am so sorry it is such a tough situation.
Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Oh Ajay, I'm so sorry for your situation. I agree with everyone else, you must intervene for the sake of your unborn child. Our neighbor has custody of their three grandchildren that were all born alcohol and drug addicted. It isn't pretty and these children will suffer for their entire lives because of their mothers' decisions in-utero. I'll pray for you and your family. Take care.
Redfred
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You can't move forward while you're looking backward
I'm sorry to hear this. I'm not sure there is much you can do. There is no jail yet for female pregnant alcoholics. I understand the impulse to control control control but plenty of us have ended up crazy trying to make an alcoholic stop drinking. What you can do is to learn all you can about al anon and the tools you can use. There is no question your other children are being affected by her alcoholism as well.
thank you all, for all your replies. I phoned our doctor's surgery and made an appointment to speak to my doctor tomorrow...
After 12 yrs of ignoring this problem, I think I hit a wall this weekend. My oldest is now 7, I never dreamed the day would come, where he would be affected by this. But, he is now. They all are.
Just thought I'd give you all an update. Since finding this website 4 days ago, I feel that I have come such a long way.
And Friday morning was huge moment in my life. I spoke to a doctor about my A wife's problem. I was told that he couldn't discuss my wife without her present (is this a UK thing? BUT, he would talk about it as it's discussing the baby's health.
He made it quite clear that there is nothing in British law, that could "force" or make her do anything she didn't want. He sounded very concerned, and said that he would speak to every one of his colleague to see if they have exerience of this situation.
He'll look into the possibilty of my wife's health visitor approaching the subject her. But, said it may not be possible as it will show that he has been discussing "her", without her permision.
Watch this space though. I have come so far in such a short period of time, I'm not going to stop now. If I've let these kids down, it's time I paid them back...
Thanks to every single one of you who has replied, P.M.ed, and in the chat room...
