Sorry I haven't been by lately, things have just been super busy work wise and the home PC was hit by a bug.
Anyway things have been interesting and enlightening.  The last time I posted was when I had ran into EXABF in Walmart and he had shunned my son.  To cut to the chase-lol, I had an occassion after than where he went beyong hurting me during a phone conversation (I had called him yes, and should not have but he pushed and pushed until I was not going to hash things out  in an email) So I called and the discussion ended with him being very cruel to me and saying some very harsh things about rejecting me over and over, etc. and I just hung up on his. 

Of course as is the way with an A it was my fault and he emailed several emails with "dangling carrots".  This was last Sun/Mon/Tues.  Emails back and forth and insanity spewing from both of us.  The final email that was sent was from me and I told him very directly that this had to stop that I could no longer do what we were doing to one another and the best thing I could do for him and me was to just let it all go, as that was what he had wanted for some time.  I ended it telling him that I simply could not take another day of the insanity that has become a part of loving him.  That was a week ago today......a full week with no contact whatsoever and I feel awesome!  Very beat emotionally by Sun/Mon and Tues feuding but good otherwise.

I remembered being told here over and over again that when the time was right I would be able to just let go, and it must have been right-finally.  I got off the phone after hanging up on him and thought to myself "girl where did all your dignity and self respect go?-you gave it to someone who didn't deserve nor want the best of you".

I have no regrets about the decision to severe all contact and pray for him daily......"Dear HP please let that SOB have everything good in this life that I would want for myself"  I'm told that by doing this eventually I will find the peace and let go of all the resentment I have towards him and today is today and it is good.....
He is supposed to bring the rest of my things by today, as he was TOLD he would do, and if he does great, if not oh well.  I will not contact him either way.....that girl is gone now.

Thanks for letting me share
Shelly