Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I no longer walk around expecting rugs to be pulled out from under me. Most of the time its my "stories" the rest of the time, I see the rug before it happens, if I'm honest with myself. I made myself a priority in the middle of 2010. I began to take care of me. I thought for certain my kids would...

Mattie · Mattie

I've had a week where I've had to set some boundaries with several friends. Two of them have been standing me up when we've agreed to meet. It's not that they're mad or anything, they're just flaky. With another, we get together and then while I'm talking (never while she's talking!), she gets out her...

Laura Baker · Laura Baker

I have plans on leaving this week. My AH is sick with lupus and in denial about his alcoholism. We've been married 35 years and I have been sober and in AA for 7 years. I simply want whats Good, Right and REAL!!! Pray that my decision to turn my will and my life over to God sticks this time.

stephaniej · stephaniej

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, compassion, and prayers. I went back to work today (no bereavement leave at my temp job, and if Mama doesn't make money, we can't pay all our bills), and hung in there for six hours. Arrived home to a mailbox filled with a motion filed by my ex-husband's hor...

Notwaving · Notwaving

Hi what is the best thing to do to help my daughter. She is a functioning alcoholic. Holds down a good job but drinks every day bottle of wine and 4 cans if not more. She every now and then says 'Thats it I'm cutting down / giving up'. If I say anything I get told to mind my own business. I don't want to fall out wi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can I be trusted? these days I feel I can but there were times when I felt I couldn't be trusted at all! I have to deal w/ a lot of situations where I have to keep what I see & hear to myself. I sometimes really don't like this at all. I have to though. In the real world where I live, I have to be trusted. I can't...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

it was great. I have been not making it a priority since I can come here numerous times a day and keep myself focused on my program. I went 5 days without internet, because my provider is having issues and I was so glad I went to my home group this morning. A couple old timers told me how important it was to the...

Shelliebear · Shelliebear

Today, the unthinkable happened. I'm not sure where to start. There's a long, 4 year history of what has been happening and why, with my mother and alcohol, but I don't know if I have energy to go through it right now... Regardless, don't judge her off of this...she's a wonderful person. I love my mother...

Tracy · Tracy

I am a member of al anon and coda. I have been affected by others drinking but btoday I know i am sick too and have really been looking at me in coda. I do service in all the meetings i attend. then someone asked who would take over the al anon side of a small convention so I stepped forward. Then the opportun...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

It is an experience I don't wish on my worst enemy. It is ugly. I won't tell war stories other than to say: everything I had read about what it is like to watch a loved one going through detox has been accurate. I am so grateful for my program and for my HP guiding me when I haven't had a clue what to do. My progr...

bandit714 · bandit714

Greetings... It's been awhile since I've posted, things are better... Ummmm...however...recent events have made it a problem now that I still drink! I am all for someone getting their **** together...but WHY should I have to change something that is not a problem for me??? Nothing more to say......

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

So, one of my girlfriends was here for the weekend. She and I have known each other forever and spent much of the day Saturday catching up and sharing about the challenges and joys in our lives. That night, I went to bed a bit early and she and my AH talked...nothing funny, just talked. She called me toda...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

Hi everyone, I'm so glad this board is here. I need to vent and also to listen to wise and similar experiences. My husband has been an alcoholic for years. I have known about this for a long time and there have been various failed attempts on his part to control his drinking, be abstinent for short periods...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the meeting this morning, April 2, as I have an appointment with my doctor. Hopefully someone will step up and chair in my absence. Thanks

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

Following the DUI, its probably a scary day when they get their license back. I am just waiting on her to go buy some rum. See, her poison is Mount Gay Rum. History: post-DUI, she asked if she could start drinking again. I said it was up to her. She tried, it was a vomiting disaster. Then, again, she ask...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I could really do with some support at the moment. It's a day for taking care of me. Tracey

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Yesterday I got to see and talk to the man that I married. It was the first time I have seen him in over a year. The alcohol was out of his system after a VERY rough detox. He looked so good and was the same caring person that I remember. I dropped him off at an inpatient rehab facility last night and it was on...

pineapple · pineapple

Just checking in to let y'all know what's going on with me. A good friend left the country recently for three months. I am taking care of his dog while he is gone. I asked him before he left if I could take care of his house too. He gladly agreed. It's been about a week and a half now and I'm loving the peace and t...

Non-AA Member dating AA member · MusicFan

I recently started seeing someone who is 5 Months sober - I am not a memeber is AA. We see each other about once a week - Dinner, movie, bowling etc. He moved her months ago and put himself into treatment and currently lives in a sober house. He attends meetings 3+ times a week and meets with his sponsers. C...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I know I have shared bits and pieces with the group about my mom, who has been in very poor health for many years, and totally bedridden for the last year. Although she never suffered from alcoholism or drug addiction, she had many hallmarks of a classic addict, and I have been able to use my Al Anon tools...

Carla042 · Carla042

hello all, seems that while I am steady trying to regain my footing life keeps happening...As I've shared my daughter surrendered on March 2 and began detoxing/recovering fom a significant stint with heroin..Thank you God for this 24 hrs...went to visit Sun and attended a family meeting that was am...

Karen S · Karen S

Two days ago I got a VERY unexpected an horrible email from my daugter. She forbad all communication with her or her family for good. "emails will not be opened, messages will be deleted without listening, if you come to the house you will be met with silence, don't contact the children, don't ta...

nyc018 · nyc018

Ive been having a tough time this week. My AH, from whom Im separated, drank himself insane last summer, went to rehab for 3 weeks, then lost his job. Hes been sober since, for 7 months. Since then, he has been going to AA regularly, has a good sponsor, and appears to be working the program to some exten...

rehprof · rehprof

So last night my son tells me all about the COOLEST thing. My exA and his sister are planning a trip to vegas to be on the game show. It's so cool because they have special shirts, and they are going to drive and visit relatives along the way and BLAH BLAH BLAH Oh, do I sound angry? Yah. Probably because I am. I...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

I didn't see him drink at all so he was obviously trying to hide it from me, but we had guests over for my birthday and my friends all noticed how drunk he was. Just so disheartened. I knew that he would probably slip since he hasn't chosen to head into a treatment plan at all, but I guess the reality was hard...

motherof4 · motherof4

I feel so lost & confused. I have been dealing with my AH (that stands for husband right?) For over three years now. Last night, after having gotten so drunk he blacked out, hit his head on the stairs and laid unconcious for who knows how long, choice to get drunk and verbally tear me to shreds, thr...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I'm finally coming to the realization, as difficult as it is, that my marriage is not good for me and that I have to remove myself from it. I've never had to grieve over anything like this before. My therapist explained the grieving process to me and it honestly sounds impossible. The idea o...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Today's reading from "Courage to Change" is about the fallacy of selflessness and giving to others. (i'll wait if you need to read it) It got me thinking about the ways I have given to others, without being asked for help and/or at the expense of myself. In my family of origin, I often took i...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I have shared much on my situation with my xa and our daughter .. long before he came along, i survived the (effects) of other people's thinking and behavior through fantasy .. (effects of alcoholism, etc) i chose to see the parts of Reality that suited me .. why wouldn't i have, as i've also shared, when...

maire rua · maire rua

well dropped my son down to his voluntary work place on Monday. have to say it is great not to have an active addicted person in my space. I found it very draining. I feel guilty for thinking and saying this. The man my son and his friends injured has been moved to a nearby hospital, a less acute unit. He req...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to make this brief. I am so hopeful even w/ pain that things can & will get better. I have been struggling but I don't feel like I need to be harping over & over about the pain. I am so much better off than a lot of people I know that will never get over their pain. I just wanted to mention about...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

I finally got home from my business trip. On the long trip home I came up with a plan to deal with the most recent issue with my AH. Quick recap: while traveling I got a text from a woman I never met saying my husband asked her to have an affair. Old me would have immediately called him and gone off the rails. I d...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

AH is in the hospital tonight. Could be pancreas, could be liver... they are running tests. He hasn't been living at the house for the last month and he has been getting increasingly more physically ill. He called me tonight to let me know he is in the hospital. He has been vomiting daily and not eating. H...

breakaway1958 · breakaway1958

It has been 6 days since I walked away and the pain inside of me is overwhelming. He is 57 and an alcoholic. I am 54 and we have known each other 7 years. I consider myself intelligent, well read and responsible. When it comes to relationships, I am an idiot. I never considered myself co-dependent...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi all, I am off on Monday for a three week holiday around Asia. I am going to bali, then bangkok, then laos, then singapore (for my birthday) then home again for ANZAC day (25 April). So.... I will be here for a day or two more, but then you won't see me. I am very excited about this holiday. My husband ha...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

I'm having a hard time deciding what is detachment and what is a "free pass." My AH is not in a program but he quit drinking about two weeks ago after I mentioned that I thought he needed to seek help. Since then, I have been reading Al-Anon and codependency literature and doing my very best t...

daisy31 · daisy31

I know I keep posting...sorry! but I was wondering if I can start the steps myself? I asked a lady the other day to be my sponosor and she said that she is so full on her schedule and is sponsoring someone else. So should I just wait to find the right person or can I start myself?

Pushka · Pushka

Well just a quick update and who knows what tomorrow will bring I had so much to think about today. It's probably a good thing I was 1/2 as busy as I was .. lol. Something that really hit me most of all is when I am hurt emotionally I go straight to anger and stay there .. when I am angry I can cut all ties and not f...

meaniemariska · meaniemariska

Hi Everyone. My name is Mariska and I just found this board. I'm relieved and disappointed that there are so many people going through what I am. Though I was aware that I was living with someone that had issues, I did not realize until yesterday (at marriage counseling) that they have a name for what he i...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48520866/step-10-alanon/

Melody F · Melody F

Boy this is my week for "powerless" lessons. My oldest son (32 yrs) has been sober for just over a year...he chooses to do it without any help. He also battles with bi-polar and recently went off his meds. He was on an up swing at the time and did well for a few weeks but now he has crashed again wi...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm in the process of watching my daughter's dad's family become increasingly manipulative .. The family disease will Always try to dominate and now it's become such a 3 ring circus with his sister & mother and him that there is absolutely no way i can control any of it .. The sister has resorted to p...

bud · bud

Im no longer able to pretend or ignore that things arent the way that I wanted them to be. Those that are close to me know that Ive been divorced for 6 years; my sister does not.She is not mentally well, has harmed me (and others) many times, is meddling, and has an extensive sense of entitlement. I found...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

So, tonight I had to go to work. And wife was drinking. This is her 4th or 5th day of drinking 1/3 of a 1.75 L bottle a day. This is typically where we start to fight. So, after the fight I was waiting til it was time to go to work. She was badgering me to "Get the ____ out" of the house. One of my bou...

Pushka · Pushka

This seems to be a current theme at the moment. I'm doing ok and then not doing ok. I do fine when I'm not around my AH and then when we are together .. of course I wind up looking like the crazy person. I'm working my program, .. logically I know what is going on, .. I can even go as far as saying this is what I n...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Aftter almost 2 weeks in the critical care unit with the most severe case of DT's the doctor said that he had ever seen, the doctor announces today at noon to my husband that he is being released tonight. On Tuesday, I talked to the doctor and asked him when he expected him to be released because I was wor...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

When my AH was dry for 15 years he occasionally would drink NA beer. Actually, he'd go through periods where he'd binge on it for short periods of time and then not buy it for months. One of the things he was doing recently, before the DUI, is mixing NA beer with regular beer when he was around me to make it...

Jozie · Jozie

Since I Started My Al-Anon Journey I have had to go back and look at some pretty ugly things in my past... Not All Ugly but there was many when living in a SICK Home... I Had a Friend that I Met thru one of my Afathers Drunkin Buddys he brought home a couple times, this man was a Horrible person to say the least,...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

People really show you who they are. My AH, 3 weeks separated, is turning up his a-hole attitude. Maybe I could be kind and say that it seems his addiction is really working him right now. I feel physically sick when I interact with him. We are tying up the loose ends and contact is infrequent, but nec...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Considering I live in a larger urban area you'd think I could get lost from my exAH and family's scope. Today I was warned by a good friend (and yes i consider it a warning with good intentions at heart not gossip) that my exAH has told his family that he is moving back to this area to take car...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying very hard to use humor in my life! Thusly, I am trying to catch some of you who are having a bad day. My brain is definitely on overload these days. I just started a group for my MH yesterday--another confidential group--how is my brain going to hold all this info in for weeks upon weeks! Between...

Tracy · Tracy

Before al anon I had no boundaries. Before al anon I wanted to plaese others all the time. I wanted to be accepted I could not say no I was naivte believing that all people were good. I was over conscienious, always willing to see another point of view an give them benefit of the doubt make excuses for their...

amills4294 · amills4294

When I was growing up I never had anyone to tell me how to handle conflict or difficult situation. I never felt like I had anyone to ask and I just wanted to hide from it or cower down or ignore it in hopes that it would go away. My daughter is in 6th grade. She had her first real disagreement with one of her gir...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

A recent entry in Courage to Change got me thinking about my higher power and the idea that if I truly believe and have faith and trust that my higher power will care for me and provide what I need, then the fear and stress and worry that is so much a part of my life should go away. I'm not even talking about jus...

Tuesday · Tuesday

My bipolar alcoholic husband relapsed 2 months ago. I wrote about it here before. I removed myself with kids from the house. Now I found out he is smoking crack. Never used drugs when we were married. I am terrified. I know this is the end. Crackaddicts commit fraud, steal, sell the things. YestERDAY...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For the past 18 months at the store I work at I've weathered a split shift any time there was one. This week I said no. I had to cross the bridge of knowing they were not going to take care of me to get to that one. I prefer this side of the bridge to the hoping and wanting them to like me one. Maresie.

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have not wrote in a while but I am on reading whenever I feel I need my al-anon jolt, like coffee. I feel an ease about my program right now and I know I am exactlty where I need to be. When I make mistakes, I don't have my melt downs in my head anymore. I just accept it and move forward. I keep moving forward. M...

KateEN · KateEN

I've been battling feelings of jealousy in my relationship lately. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and is actually extremely trustworthy and honest. However, I have been having feelings of jealousy about his ex-girlfriend, coworkers, and friends lately. It's so irrational and I don't want...

daisy31 · daisy31

We have a little boy who comes to play at our house with my kids and he is the sweetest most amazing little boy. His home life is not so good and we have always tried to keep a decent relationship with his parents because we want this little guy to be able to keep coming over. So the other day the little boy co...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone. So my ex ABF did end up going to his training program. I doubted if he was actually going to leave. But he is gone for two months. We left on good terms and agreed to talk to each other but to take time to work on ourselves and figure out what we need in a partner. Im a little torn right now because s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	In a good place (Preview) I no longer walk around expecting rugs to be pulled out from under me. Most of the time its my "stories" the rest of the time, I see the rug before it happens, if I'm honest with myself. I made myself a priority in the middle of 2010. I began to take care of me. I thought for certain my kids would...	AStrongerMe	6	424	Apr 4, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Patterns that repeat (Preview) I've had a week where I've had to set some boundaries with several friends. Two of them have been standing me up when we've agreed to meet. It's not that they're mad or anything, they're just flaky. With another, we get together and then while I'm talking (never while she's talking!), she gets out her...	Mattie	8	467	Apr 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	Leaving again... (Preview) I have plans on leaving this week. My AH is sick with lupus and in denial about his alcoholism. We've been married 35 years and I have been sober and in AA for 7 years. I simply want whats Good, Right and REAL!!! Pray that my decision to turn my will and my life over to God sticks this time.	Laura Baker	5	465	Apr 3, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Many thanks to you all (Preview) Thank you all so very much for your kind words, compassion, and prayers. I went back to work today (no bereavement leave at my temp job, and if Mama doesn't make money, we can't pay all our bills), and hung in there for six hours. Arrived home to a mailbox filled with a motion filed by my ex-husband's hor...	stephaniej	5	554	Apr 3, 2012 by Pushka
	What should I do to help daughter ? (Preview) Hi what is the best thing to do to help my daughter. She is a functioning alcoholic. Holds down a good job but drinks every day bottle of wine and 4 cans if not more. She every now and then says 'Thats it I'm cutting down / giving up'. If I say anything I get told to mind my own business. I don't want to fall out wi...	Notwaving	7	490	Apr 3, 2012 by Notwaving
	trust & confidentiality (Preview) Can I be trusted? these days I feel I can but there were times when I felt I couldn't be trusted at all! I have to deal w/ a lot of situations where I have to keep what I see & hear to myself. I sometimes really don't like this at all. I have to though. In the real world where I live, I have to be trusted. I can't...	Hoot Nanny	2	380	Apr 3, 2012 by Jerry F
	Finally made my Sat morning Al-anon meeting and (Preview) it was great. I have been not making it a priority since I can come here numerous times a day and keep myself focused on my program. I went 5 days without internet, because my provider is having issues and I was so glad I went to my home group this morning. A couple old timers told me how important it was to the...	Breakingfree	3	420	Apr 3, 2012 by Karen S
	The last straw...and maybe rock bottom? (Preview) Today, the unthinkable happened. I'm not sure where to start. There's a long, 4 year history of what has been happening and why, with my mother and alcohol, but I don't know if I have energy to go through it right now... Regardless, don't judge her off of this...she's a wonderful person. I love my mother...	Shelliebear	8	627	Apr 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	over responsibility (Preview) I am a member of al anon and coda. I have been affected by others drinking but btoday I know i am sick too and have really been looking at me in coda. I do service in all the meetings i attend. then someone asked who would take over the al anon side of a small convention so I stepped forward. Then the opportun...	Tracy	2	275	Apr 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Detox (Preview) It is an experience I don't wish on my worst enemy. It is ugly. I won't tell war stories other than to say: everything I had read about what it is like to watch a loved one going through detox has been accurate. I am so grateful for my program and for my HP guiding me when I haven't had a clue what to do. My progr...	Very Very Tired	6	570	Apr 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Do I have to quit too...? (Preview) Greetings... It's been awhile since I've posted, things are better... Ummmm...however...recent events have made it a problem now that I still drink! I am all for someone getting their **** together...but WHY should I have to change something that is not a problem for me??? Nothing more to say......	bandit714	14	776	Apr 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	AH Admits He's Doing Nothing to Teach Me a Lesson (Preview) So, one of my girlfriends was here for the weekend. She and I have known each other forever and spent much of the day Saturday catching up and sharing about the challenges and joys in our lives. That night, I went to bed a bit early and she and my AH talked...nothing funny, just talked. She called me toda...	hicktownmom	4	526	Apr 2, 2012 by hicktownmom
	Husband checked out of rehab after 30 minutes (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm so glad this board is here. I need to vent and also to listen to wise and similar experiences. My husband has been an alcoholic for years. I have known about this for a long time and there have been various failed attempts on his part to control his drinking, be abstinent for short periods...	sarah1979	5	666	Apr 2, 2012 by Jerry F
	MONDAY AM AL-ANON MTG - APRIL 2, 2012 (Preview) I am unable to chair the meeting this morning, April 2, as I have an appointment with my doctor. Hopefully someone will step up and chair in my absence. Thanks	shimo	0	276	Apr 2, 2012 by shimo
	That scary day when they get their license back (Preview) Following the DUI, its probably a scary day when they get their license back. I am just waiting on her to go buy some rum. See, her poison is Mount Gay Rum. History: post-DUI, she asked if she could start drinking again. I said it was up to her. She tried, it was a vomiting disaster. Then, again, she ask...	GeneralLee	6	411	Apr 2, 2012 by Too hard
	Need support (Preview) Hi, I could really do with some support at the moment. It's a day for taking care of me. Tracey	Tracey C	6	242	Apr 2, 2012 by Tracey C
	Missing the Person They Used to Be (Preview) Yesterday I got to see and talk to the man that I married. It was the first time I have seen him in over a year. The alcohol was out of his system after a VERY rough detox. He looked so good and was the same caring person that I remember. I dropped him off at an inpatient rehab facility last night and it was on...	WornOutMrsFixIt	8	637	Apr 1, 2012 by GeneralLee
	update (Preview) Just checking in to let y'all know what's going on with me. A good friend left the country recently for three months. I am taking care of his dog while he is gone. I asked him before he left if I could take care of his house too. He gladly agreed. It's been about a week and a half now and I'm loving the peace and t...	pineapple	5	344	Apr 1, 2012 by hotrod
	Non-AA Member dating AA member (Preview) I recently started seeing someone who is 5 Months sober - I am not a memeber is AA. We see each other about once a week - Dinner, movie, bowling etc. He moved her months ago and put himself into treatment and currently lives in a sober house. He attends meetings 3+ times a week and meets with his sponsers. C...	MusicFan	4	1211	Apr 1, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Sadness (Preview) I know I have shared bits and pieces with the group about my mom, who has been in very poor health for many years, and totally bedridden for the last year. Although she never suffered from alcoholism or drug addiction, she had many hallmarks of a classic addict, and I have been able to use my Al Anon tools...	stephaniej	12	452	Apr 1, 2012 by Carla042
	And life keeps happening ;) (Preview) hello all, seems that while I am steady trying to regain my footing life keeps happening...As I've shared my daughter surrendered on March 2 and began detoxing/recovering fom a significant stint with heroin..Thank you God for this 24 hrs...went to visit Sun and attended a family meeting that was am...	Carla042	8	3020	Apr 1, 2012 by Carla042
	Just happened/I'm reeling. Daughter (via email) "disowned me" forbids communication Daughter-mother relationship Isolated in new city Back to working a program (Preview) Two days ago I got a VERY unexpected an horrible email from my daugter. She forbad all communication with her or her family for good. "emails will not be opened, messages will be deleted without listening, if you come to the house you will be met with silence, don't contact the children, don't ta...	Karen S	10	3925	Apr 1, 2012 by Karen S
	What to Say to my H (Preview) Ive been having a tough time this week. My AH, from whom Im separated, drank himself insane last summer, went to rehab for 3 weeks, then lost his job. Hes been sober since, for 7 months. Since then, he has been going to AA regularly, has a good sponsor, and appears to be working the program to some exten...	nyc018	7	514	Apr 1, 2012 by Oksie
	The Price is Right...REALLY? (Preview) So last night my son tells me all about the COOLEST thing. My exA and his sister are planning a trip to vegas to be on the game show. It's so cool because they have special shirts, and they are going to drive and visit relatives along the way and BLAH BLAH BLAH Oh, do I sound angry? Yah. Probably because I am. I...	rehprof	12	527	Apr 1, 2012 by Oksie
	His False Recovery Is Over...He Was Drunk Last Night (Preview) I didn't see him drink at all so he was obviously trying to hide it from me, but we had guests over for my birthday and my friends all noticed how drunk he was. Just so disheartened. I knew that he would probably slip since he hasn't chosen to head into a treatment plan at all, but I guess the reality was hard...	hicktownmom	6	502	Apr 1, 2012 by Oksie
	Searching for help... (Preview) I feel so lost & confused. I have been dealing with my AH (that stands for husband right?) For over three years now. Last night, after having gotten so drunk he blacked out, hit his head on the stairs and laid unconcious for who knows how long, choice to get drunk and verbally tear me to shreds, thr...	motherof4	9	565	Apr 1, 2012 by motherof4
	Another hard day. (Preview) I'm finally coming to the realization, as difficult as it is, that my marriage is not good for me and that I have to remove myself from it. I've never had to grieve over anything like this before. My therapist explained the grieving process to me and it honestly sounds impossible. The idea o...	Mlkiss75	9	553	Apr 1, 2012 by Mlkiss75
	Emotional Caretaking (Preview) Today's reading from "Courage to Change" is about the fallacy of selflessness and giving to others. (i'll wait if you need to read it) It got me thinking about the ways I have given to others, without being asked for help and/or at the expense of myself. In my family of origin, I often took i...	Dolly Llama	8	1673	Mar 31, 2012 by thechee
	Reality .. (Preview) I have shared much on my situation with my xa and our daughter .. long before he came along, i survived the (effects) of other people's thinking and behavior through fantasy .. (effects of alcoholism, etc) i chose to see the parts of Reality that suited me .. why wouldn't i have, as i've also shared, when...	MeTwo2	5	497	Mar 31, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	update on family situation (Preview) well dropped my son down to his voluntary work place on Monday. have to say it is great not to have an active addicted person in my space. I found it very draining. I feel guilty for thinking and saying this. The man my son and his friends injured has been moved to a nearby hospital, a less acute unit. He req...	maire rua	2	369	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	I am hopeful not hopeless! (Preview) I am going to make this brief. I am so hopeful even w/ pain that things can & will get better. I have been struggling but I don't feel like I need to be harping over & over about the pain. I am so much better off than a lot of people I know that will never get over their pain. I just wanted to mention about...	Hoot Nanny	2	361	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Empowerment? (Preview) I finally got home from my business trip. On the long trip home I came up with a plan to deal with the most recent issue with my AH. Quick recap: while traveling I got a text from a woman I never met saying my husband asked her to have an affair. Old me would have immediately called him and gone off the rails. I d...	surfgirl123	5	393	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	I'm scared (Preview) AH is in the hospital tonight. Could be pancreas, could be liver... they are running tests. He hasn't been living at the house for the last month and he has been getting increasingly more physically ill. He called me tonight to let me know he is in the hospital. He has been vomiting daily and not eating. H...	Very Very Tired	14	558	Mar 31, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	I got out.....but it hurts (Preview) It has been 6 days since I walked away and the pain inside of me is overwhelming. He is 57 and an alcoholic. I am 54 and we have known each other 7 years. I consider myself intelligent, well read and responsible. When it comes to relationships, I am an idiot. I never considered myself co-dependent...	breakaway1958	8	553	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	off on holidays to Asia (Preview) Hi all, I am off on Monday for a three week holiday around Asia. I am going to bali, then bangkok, then laos, then singapore (for my birthday) then home again for ANZAC day (25 April). So.... I will be here for a day or two more, but then you won't see me. I am very excited about this holiday. My husband ha...	Oksie	4	316	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Detachment Versus Free Pass (Preview) I'm having a hard time deciding what is detachment and what is a "free pass." My AH is not in a program but he quit drinking about two weeks ago after I mentioned that I thought he needed to seek help. Since then, I have been reading Al-Anon and codependency literature and doing my very best t...	hicktownmom	22	713	Mar 31, 2012 by hicktownmom
	sponsor question (Preview) I know I keep posting...sorry! but I was wondering if I can start the steps myself? I asked a lady the other day to be my sponosor and she said that she is so full on her schedule and is sponsoring someone else. So should I just wait to find the right person or can I start myself?	daisy31	8	648	Mar 31, 2012 by peace2me
	New Detachment Awareness (Preview) Well just a quick update and who knows what tomorrow will bring I had so much to think about today. It's probably a good thing I was 1/2 as busy as I was .. lol. Something that really hit me most of all is when I am hurt emotionally I go straight to anger and stay there .. when I am angry I can cut all ties and not f...	Pushka	4	549	Mar 31, 2012 by hotrod
	New Here (Preview) Hi Everyone. My name is Mariska and I just found this board. I'm relieved and disappointed that there are so many people going through what I am. Though I was aware that I was living with someone that had issues, I did not realize until yesterday (at marriage counseling) that they have a name for what he i...	meaniemariska	3	252	Mar 31, 2012 by Mattie
	Step Work Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48520866/step-10-alanon/	hotrod	0	249	Mar 31, 2012 by hotrod
	Powerless (Preview) Boy this is my week for "powerless" lessons. My oldest son (32 yrs) has been sober for just over a year...he chooses to do it without any help. He also battles with bi-polar and recently went off his meds. He was on an up swing at the time and did well for a few weeks but now he has crashed again wi...	Melody F	2	284	Mar 31, 2012 by Oksie
	Growing Manipulation & Concern (Preview) I'm in the process of watching my daughter's dad's family become increasingly manipulative .. The family disease will Always try to dominate and now it's become such a 3 ring circus with his sister & mother and him that there is absolutely no way i can control any of it .. The sister has resorted to p...	MeTwo2	4	573	Mar 31, 2012 by MeTwo2
	help, please- feels like I've fallen apart (Preview) Im no longer able to pretend or ignore that things arent the way that I wanted them to be. Those that are close to me know that Ive been divorced for 6 years; my sister does not.She is not mentally well, has harmed me (and others) many times, is meddling, and has an extensive sense of entitlement. I found...	bud	7	630	Mar 31, 2012 by Jennifer
	1st Alanon Meeting Tonight (Preview) So, tonight I had to go to work. And wife was drinking. This is her 4th or 5th day of drinking 1/3 of a 1.75 L bottle a day. This is typically where we start to fight. So, after the fight I was waiting til it was time to go to work. She was badgering me to "Get the ____ out" of the house. One of my bou...	GeneralLee	8	690	Mar 31, 2012 by GeneralLee
	Struggling with Detachment (Preview) This seems to be a current theme at the moment. I'm doing ok and then not doing ok. I do fine when I'm not around my AH and then when we are together .. of course I wind up looking like the crazy person. I'm working my program, .. logically I know what is going on, .. I can even go as far as saying this is what I n...	Pushka	10	642	Mar 31, 2012 by Jerry F
	Exhausted - what would you do? (Preview) Aftter almost 2 weeks in the critical care unit with the most severe case of DT's the doctor said that he had ever seen, the doctor announces today at noon to my husband that he is being released tonight. On Tuesday, I talked to the doctor and asked him when he expected him to be released because I was wor...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	591	Mar 30, 2012 by orchidlover
	Non alcoholic beer? (Preview) When my AH was dry for 15 years he occasionally would drink NA beer. Actually, he'd go through periods where he'd binge on it for short periods of time and then not buy it for months. One of the things he was doing recently, before the DUI, is mixing NA beer with regular beer when he was around me to make it...	ilovedogs	11	811	Mar 30, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Funny How HP Always Lets me know.... (Preview) Since I Started My Al-Anon Journey I have had to go back and look at some pretty ugly things in my past... Not All Ugly but there was many when living in a SICK Home... I Had a Friend that I Met thru one of my Afathers Drunkin Buddys he brought home a couple times, this man was a Horrible person to say the least,...	Jozie	3	421	Mar 30, 2012 by danni
	Detaching from insult (Preview) People really show you who they are. My AH, 3 weeks separated, is turning up his a-hole attitude. Maybe I could be kind and say that it seems his addiction is really working him right now. I feel physically sick when I interact with him. We are tying up the loose ends and contact is infrequent, but nec...	Dolly Llama	6	524	Mar 30, 2012 by Mattie
	Uck ... back to basics + Sparky and other updates (Preview) Hello everyone, Considering I live in a larger urban area you'd think I could get lost from my exAH and family's scope. Today I was warned by a good friend (and yes i consider it a warning with good intentions at heart not gossip) that my exAH has told his family that he is moving back to this area to take car...	Jennifer	1	345	Mar 30, 2012 by Pushka
	OK here comes the brain! (Preview) I am trying very hard to use humor in my life! Thusly, I am trying to catch some of you who are having a bad day. My brain is definitely on overload these days. I just started a group for my MH yesterday--another confidential group--how is my brain going to hold all this info in for weeks upon weeks! Between...	Hoot Nanny	1	282	Mar 30, 2012 by hotrod
	boundaries self care (Preview) Before al anon I had no boundaries. Before al anon I wanted to plaese others all the time. I wanted to be accepted I could not say no I was naivte believing that all people were good. I was over conscienious, always willing to see another point of view an give them benefit of the doubt make excuses for their...	Tracy	8	472	Mar 29, 2012 by maire rua
	Using the Tools to provide guidance to my daughter (Preview) When I was growing up I never had anyone to tell me how to handle conflict or difficult situation. I never felt like I had anyone to ask and I just wanted to hide from it or cower down or ignore it in hopes that it would go away. My daughter is in 6th grade. She had her first real disagreement with one of her gir...	amills4294	2	292	Mar 29, 2012 by Mattie
	No more fear, anxiety, stress, worry...is it possible? (Preview) A recent entry in Courage to Change got me thinking about my higher power and the idea that if I truly believe and have faith and trust that my higher power will care for me and provide what I need, then the fear and stress and worry that is so much a part of my life should go away. I'm not even talking about jus...	usedtobeanyer	11	819	Mar 29, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	how to stop this insanity (Preview) My bipolar alcoholic husband relapsed 2 months ago. I wrote about it here before. I removed myself with kids from the house. Now I found out he is smoking crack. Never used drugs when we were married. I am terrified. I know this is the end. Crackaddicts commit fraud, steal, sell the things. YestERDAY...	Tuesday	6	516	Mar 29, 2012 by amills4294
	More progress not perfection. (Preview) For the past 18 months at the store I work at I've weathered a split shift any time there was one. This week I said no. I had to cross the bridge of knowing they were not going to take care of me to get to that one. I prefer this side of the bridge to the hoping and wanting them to like me one. Maresie.	orchidlover	5	303	Mar 29, 2012 by orchidlover
	recovery, so far (Preview) I have not wrote in a while but I am on reading whenever I feel I need my al-anon jolt, like coffee. I feel an ease about my program right now and I know I am exactlty where I need to be. When I make mistakes, I don't have my melt downs in my head anymore. I just accept it and move forward. I keep moving forward. M...	Michelle814	10	467	Mar 29, 2012 by glad lee
	Hidden Jealousy Jealousy insecurity (Preview) I've been battling feelings of jealousy in my relationship lately. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and is actually extremely trustworthy and honest. However, I have been having feelings of jealousy about his ex-girlfriend, coworkers, and friends lately. It's so irrational and I don't want...	KateEN	5	761	Mar 29, 2012 by maryjane
	Did I make the right choice? (Preview) We have a little boy who comes to play at our house with my kids and he is the sweetest most amazing little boy. His home life is not so good and we have always tried to keep a decent relationship with his parents because we want this little guy to be able to keep coming over. So the other day the little boy co...	daisy31	13	527	Mar 29, 2012 by BRAlanon
	Confused (Preview) Hey everyone. So my ex ABF did end up going to his training program. I doubted if he was actually going to leave. But he is gone for two months. We left on good terms and agreed to talk to each other but to take time to work on ourselves and figure out what we need in a partner. Im a little torn right now because s...	Corgi2	7	478	Mar 29, 2012 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.