The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what a horrible thing to say--that is the reason why I married him--he was interesting enough for me! Anyhow, being married is the best way I can live my life. For those of you who don't know my husband has always kept me on my toes! Every time he went out--twice--he kept me w/o a dull moment--I am serious! I don't want history to repeat itself but there is a slim chance that one or both of us could lose it. I am just being realistic right now.
Today, by the way, I am so grateful for sobriety & sanity.
Things we feel and experience IMO are never "stupid", usually its something we needed to go through.
I generally find myself unconsciously seeking drama, even though I don't want it and I enjoy calm and mundane much more.
I guess its just familiar for me, sometimes it sneaks up on me and I have to say "what are you thinking?" LOL.
when i start thinking i'm stupid for sharing ( which i have Felt stupid for sharing many times ) .. i have to remember .. I'm not Unique .. I'm not higher power .. this is a we program .. we might not say it but we have the common bonds of defects/feelings such as obssession, control, humiliation-shame, anger, judgments, blame, & resentments, hurts, etc., it's why were here. we may not all talk about it on the same level but as the reading goes, we understand as perhaps few others can ..each of us has felt those things at one time or another .. If we're honest with ourselves ..
Sharing in alanon, we transform those bonds into ones of hope, love, trust, wisdom, sharing, serenity, clarity, dignity, etc.,, and each time we share them, we grow upward in them ..
Keep coming and sharing.. the only way to get over it is to go through it .. everytime we share, we're a few steps closer than we were before to finding serenity ..
they say there are always three versions of a share. what you thought you should share when its your turn, what you actually share when you're talking, and what you kick yourself in the butt for after you're done sharing. Oh I shouldn't have said that or I should have said that instead. It is what it is. And sometimes we don't realize how much we help someone by saying something that to us didn't seem important or relevant or whatever. don't feel stupid. better yet, never feel stupid because you aren't. god don't make junk.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
